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Manchild King
Oct 22, 2010
I do feel a bit guilty about sharing the videos of the girls who were genuinely nice to me. However I then read the "camming connection" on Stripperweb. I went in without a hateful bone in my body, and came out one hour later a full blown misogynist.

Greetings Goons. I realise that with a single post here in E/N I will forever destroy my SA reputation. But whatever, itís already tarnished. I figure that by telling my story other goons who have the same sort of problems can read the advice without outing themselves. I will be brutally honest and not omit or change any detail no matter how embarrassing, shameful, creepy or weird. This will hopefully get me a better/faster goon diagnosis and I guarantee more entertainment for those who read E/N for such reasons.

I chose the name Manchild King because manchild is probably my favourite word I have learnt on SA. And I guess I fit all the criteria for a manchild. I just turned 24, unemployed, live at home with both my parents, and spend my meagre government allowance on drugs, toys and pornography. Even though my current life/lifestyle is terrible I am lucky to live in Australia and come from a strict but stable and loving Christian home. I have one sister who is making me look extremely bad (she is off in an unnamed capital city in the final year of her law degree).

It seems everything I like eventually becomes an addiction. Coca-cola, 8 cans a day. Weed, half a gram a day. Sex, 4+ hrs of pornsites and camgirls a day (sometimes literally 3x that).

My psychiatrist called it Amotivion. I call it just being really really loving lazy. After getting up at 2:00 in the afternoon, I wake hungry. Plan A is Mum might make me something to eat. Plan B (only for my more motivated days) is to go through the McDonalds drive through. Plan C (most common) is to fill up on Coke and just wait it out until my parents cook something for tea at 6:30 or so.

My only real friends left are the ones I smoke weed with / is my dealer. We were friends in high school before he started selling so I do consider him a friend before a dealer. This however makes it feel near impossible to stop smoking. I started smoking pretty late, I would have been 19 when I started so I donít think that one choice can be pointed at for making my entire life terrible. Another side effect is all your straight edge friends will drop you like a hot potato (I assume they thought I would lead them to drugs?)

Like many sexually frustrated goons, what I want more than anything is a Girlfriend that both loves me and will have sex with me. I have had sex a couple times before, what these encounters all had in common is that I was drunk. I have never been past a third date, had a girlfriend or actually had sex with anyone I was attracted to. I get jealous seeing happy young couples together. I actually get torn up inside just watching those stupid movies for teens where the pretty girl realises at the end the nerd boy was right for her all along. Thatís not how it ever loving works you stupid director, stop peddling these false dreams!

Actually I think one of the biggest things that hosed me up was the fact that the world was nothing like what I expected or assumed. I donít know if was the home environment or quite possibly school but either way I was totally unprepared. I just didnít realise how competitive everything would really be. For me to ďwinĒ somebody else must ďloseĒ. I didnít really think about how different economic classes of people are separated, or how itís decided until it was all far, far too late (probably had quite a decent shot at middle class when I was a kid, but Iíve completely hosed it now).

I feel like nothings in my control. Itís ultimately up to the employer whether Iím hired, up to the girl whether she wants to go out etc (those two things Iím both terrible at and scared of).

Of course there are many mental health issues at play. I was diagnosed with clinical depression at age 9 and was prescribed Zoloft (which I later learnt is something you generally donít give to kids). I have never really felt ďnormalĒ since. These days Iím not even sure what a ďnormalĒ mood level is. Iíve seen lots of Psychologists and Psychiatrists over the years. They all seem to ask very similar questions and sometimes it feels like I pretty much diagnose myself. These days I take 150 mg of Effexor a day. I thought they were a placebo at first but after accidently missing them I was dwelling on suicide a lot so they do something I guess. These professionals are also very expensive.

If anyone wants more backstory, here is the poo poo that will most likely excite goons most. Pick one and I can elaborate (yeah I know this isnít ask/tell).

-Being a young timid kid.
-Hobbies.
-Pedophilia accusations.
-My only proper job (at a cult).
-Internet sex addiction.
-Weird fetishes.
-How weed is bad for you.
-Attempts at Dating / Relationships.
-Being 23 and going to school with 17-18 year olds.
-Physical appearance.


Please no ďbeep boop robotĒ or ďnice username post comboĒ. Both have been done many times in previous threads.

TLDR:
Should I just end it now? I stupidly hoped poo poo would just sort itself out after leaving highschool. Every day that passes I realise this is less likely to happen and that my peers now have an insurmountable lead on me socially, work history wise, and more money too. Feel like poo poo and Im gettin older every day.

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Namarrgon
Dec 23, 2008

Congratulations on not getting fit in 2011!

Who the hell still pays for pornography?

It may seem as if your peers have a lead on you socially at least, but at your age nobody knows what the hell they are doing and everyone is winging it. If it helps consider that you are already far ahead to people in a similar situation as you (and you would be surprised how many exist) and you seem to actually realise how lovely it is and want to change.

Odrade
May 1, 2009


Why are you spending money on porn? Those must be some weird fetishes!

Honestly, you sound an awful lot like one of my old housemates, and he was stuck in exactly the same kind of rut (minus the living at home but plus virginity) until he was 27. In the last year he's made a really good effort with CBT and is now doing one hell of a lot better and has a cool girlfriend. Have you tried CBT with your therapists?

Chin up mate. I know how horribly habit forming weed is. It doesn't sound to me like you're smoking outrageous amounts but smoking every day is definitely not good for a lot of people. When did you last try to quit? How did that go?

Toriori
Jan 4, 2012

No Yanda's allowed

Guy, you are 24 years old. That could literally be only about a quarter of your life if you dedicate yourself to healthier eating/exercising habits. Look for self-help circles, set goals and give yourself a reason to work for it.

Elephantgun
Feb 13, 2010



Man.

Uh.

I'm really having a hard time saying anything besides "bootstraps". Mental Illness is a bitch. I think you just need to go out there and DO something, as foreign as that may seem to you. I was a lazy piece of poo poo until I decided to go to College based on a preconceived notion that "you must go to be successful" and it transformed me a lot. Try and form some responsibility in your life no matter how that may be. The fact that you consider yourself lazy is a good first step, getting out of that rut is to go outside and force yourself to do something productive.


quote:

-Pedophilia accusations.

Go on...

betaraywil
Dec 30, 2006

Gather the wind
Though the wind won't help you fly at all

Have you told all this to your psychiatrist? Like printed this thread out and brought it to a session. Because if you've told all this to your psychiatrist, it doesn't sound like you're making progress with him/her and you need to find a new one.

That's okay and a thing that happens.

Cuckoo
Apr 27, 2007

Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat


First off, get the G word out of your head. You are so far from girlfriend territory right now that anyone who'd go out with you would be either certifiably crazy or hideous.

I don't mean that in a mean way, even if it comes across that way; you really have nothing going for you right now, and you shouldn't even entertain the idea of a relationship until you do. Also, a girlfriend will not magically make you happy or make any problem go away; if anything, it will put an emotional strain on you that with all of your other problems, you are not ready for.

It sounds like your parents are enabling your behavior without realizing the damage it's doing. You need to kick your own rear end because they won't for you.

Baby steps: First, Diet. If you eat lots of poo poo, you'll feel like poo poo!

You can't even be assed to do the typical male bachelor thing and eat cereal all day or "cook" up Ramen, Hot Pockets, or those Lipton noodle packs I was like that...at age 13. Start to wean yourself off weed and drink a hell of a lot more water. If the plain taste bothers you sweeten it with those sugar free packets for a while. Drink tea, and not that 99% Corn Syrup Arizona type bullshit. If you can't even be assed to make meals yourself, at least start to buy frozen/pre packaged veggie dishes - far from ideal but that way, at least it won't kill you.

Second: Form hobbies...healthy ones.

Hobbies are important and will help give you both friends and perspective. And no, I don't mean going for hardcore WoW grinding or something else that will allow you to continue to sequester yourself and stay on your rear end. Social things are important; sports, working out, karaoke, beachcombing, cars, music, ANYTHING to get you out the house. Then go pursue them. Use any social media you can to get out there more; Facebook, Meetup, whatever, anything. It'll feel weird at first but it'll get better.

Third: Get a job, move out.

Yes, even a lovely retail job. Hunt every day. Use the equivalent of Craigslist out there, Aussie goons could help a lot more in the area of specific resources than I can. But seriously, just having a job is deeply empowering and will help you cut the umbilical cord and get out there.

And yeah, with the wealth of torrent and free streaming sites out there I can't grasp how you'd have to spend money on porn. Even the freakiest and most niche fetishes have resources devoted to them. Put that money towards yourself in other, healthier ways. (not implying porn is unhealthy; but the amount you consume and spend on it, much like with weed and everything else, is dangerously excessive.)

I also agree with either getting a new psych or really opening up to him/her about all this. Help them help you.

Grin and Tonic
Oct 20, 2008

having a blast online

Are you ugly?

TemetNosceXVIcubus
Sep 8, 2011

by Pipski


Namarrgon posted:

Who the hell still pays for pornography?

It may seem as if your peers have a lead on you socially at least, but at your age nobody knows what the hell they are doing and everyone is winging it. If it helps consider that you are already far ahead to people in a similar situation as you (and you would be surprised how many exist) and you seem to actually realise how lovely it is and want to change.

gently caress Namarrgon...why do you have to beat me to the correct answer and the witty retort?

Hate to tell you "Manchild King" but you're becoming the norm rather than the odd one out. I'm also in Aussie land, and youth unemployement is currently rampant. No one will hire you for fast food jobs, as they can get a 16 year old to work for half the pay. And anything you become qualified for, there will be a couple of hundred other manchildren also going for it.

I have 2 friends, they have 20 years of experience in IT, they got their jobs cut and have been looking for something for 5 months with no luck. About the only jobs available in Sydney, courier drivers (which pay poo poo) and fork lift drivers. Get a forkie's license and try and get some work, that will cheer you up.

Omnicarus
Jan 16, 2006



I'm interested in the Pedophilia accusations. What's going on there? Are you talking serious legal accusations or mom found some 18&Horny porn on your computer?

My Rhythmic Crotch
Jan 13, 2011



You have an incredibly defeatist attitude. Here, let me fix your post.

Manchild King posted:

Greetings Goons. I realise that with a single post here in E/N I will forever change my SA reputation. But whatever, itís time to tell my story. I figure that by telling my story other goons who have the same sort of problems can read the advice without outing themselves. I will be brutally honest and not omit or change any detail no matter how embarrassing, shameful, creepy or weird. This will hopefully produce a better story and I guarantee more entertainment for those who read E/N for such reasons.

I chose the name Manchild King because manchild is probably my favourite word I have learnt on SA. And I guess I used to fit all the criteria for a manchild. At 24, I was unemployed, lived at home with both my parents, and spent my meagre government allowance on drugs, toys and pornography. Even though my life/lifestyle was terrible I was lucky to live in Australia and come from a strict but stable and loving Christian home. I have one sister who was making me look extremely bad by comparison (she is off in an unnamed capital city in the final year of her law degree).

It seemed everything I liked eventually became an addiction. Coca-cola, 8 cans a day. Weed, half a gram a day. Sex, 4+ hrs of pornsites and camgirls a day (sometimes literally 3x that).

My psychiatrist called it Amotivion. I called it just being really really loving lazy. After getting up at 2:00 in the afternoon, I woke up hungry. Plan A was Mum might make me something to eat. Plan B (only for my more motivated days) was to go through the McDonalds drive through. Plan C (most common) was to fill up on Coke and just wait it out until my parents cooked something for tea at 6:30 or so.

My only real friends left were the ones I smoked weed with / were my dealer. We were friends in high school before he started selling so I considered him a friend before a dealer. This however made it feel near impossible to stop smoking. But once I had finally decided to quit smoking, I stuck with it, and I haven't been high since that day.

Like many sexually frustrated goons, what I wanted more than anything was a Girlfriend that both loved me and wanted to have sex with me. I'd had sex a couple times before, what these encounters all had in common is that I was drunk. Prior to my amazing girlfriend Jane, I had never been past a third date, had a girlfriend or actually had sex with anyone I was attracted to. I got jealous seeing happy young couples together. I actually used to get torn up inside just watching those stupid movies for teens where the pretty girl realises at the end the nerd boy was right for her all along. Then I realized it's a stupid loving movie, has nothing to do with reality, and I had the power to accomplish the things I set out to do in life!

Actually I think one of the biggest things that hosed me up was the fact that the world was nothing like what I expected or assumed. I donít know if was the home environment or quite possibly school but either way I was totally unprepared. I just didnít realise how competitive everything would really be. Completing my education at a later age than most people was incredibly difficult, but ultimately extremely rewarding, and I look back on the day I decided to finish my degree very fondly.

I used to feel like nothing was in my control. One day I finally had enough, and decided to do something about it. I realized my life was never going to be any better until *I* decided to do something about it. From that day on, things were never the same. It wasn't easy, but every day I made small changes and slowly over the course of a year or so, I completely turned my life around.
There. I just spent 23 minutes trying to make your life better. I would bet that's more than you ever have.

Good luck

Eggbert Shoots Fire
Jul 30, 2003

Hey guys what is going on in this thread

Manchild King posted:

Another side effect is all your straight edge friends will drop you like a hot potato (I assume they thought I would lead them to drugs?)

...Somehow I don't think this is it.

Manchild King posted:

what I want more than anything is a Girlfriend that both loves me and will have sex with me.

So you want sex/girlfriend, but have absolutely nothing to offer a (sane) woman. Let me put it this way - Would you be thrilled to start a relationship with a woman who had no vagina? Then why would a woman want a relationship with a man(child) who doesn't have what she needs? You can't start to fix your life by focusing on a girlfriend. Girlfriends are for adults who can take care of themselves and have the capacity in their lives for another human being to complement them.

You could do anything, literally anything, and it would be better than what you are doing now. Why are your parents enabling you like this? Do you have a job?

Manchild King
Oct 22, 2010
I do feel a bit guilty about sharing the videos of the girls who were genuinely nice to me. However I then read the "camming connection" on Stripperweb. I went in without a hateful bone in my body, and came out one hour later a full blown misogynist.

Elephantgun posted:

Man.

Uh.

I'm really having a hard time saying anything besides "bootstraps". Mental Illness is a bitch. I think you just need to go out there and DO something, as foreign as that may seem to you. I was a lazy piece of poo poo until I decided to go to College based on a preconceived notion that "you must go to be successful" and it transformed me a lot. Try and form some responsibility in your life no matter how that may be. The fact that you consider yourself lazy is a good first step, getting out of that rut is to go outside and force yourself to do something productive.


Go on...
Oh yeah I knew that would stand out like dogs balls as soon as I typed it. The year was 2003 or so. Micheal Jackson was in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons after doing an interview with that Martin Bajir I think his name was. Anyway at the time I truly believed "don't worry what others think of you". So the next morning at school I did my best impression "Sharing your bed with children... Its a beautiful thing" Complete with creepy spaced out Michael Jackson voice. Me and my close friends thought it was hosed up and therefore hilarious. I was pretty immature I guess. Anyway quite a few other classmates thought I was not only totally serious but a dangerous child molester. For the next 2 years I was asked no less than 3 times a day "are you a pedophile?" "why are you a pedophile" etc. It sounds stupid but it does mess with your head having hundreds of people you hardly know asking you the same thing over and over. There are only so many ways you can say "no" or "that got out of hand". I cannot emphasize how much people love a good pedo story. Even alot of the school administration were convinced I was some sexual deviant (I wasn't at that stage). Moral of the story, it does matter what other peoples opinions of you are.

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004



Your homework assignment is to go to a gym right now and not leave untill you've worked out for a minimum of 30 mins.

Do it. I don't care if all you do is walk on a treadmill for 30 mins.

Go there now.

Then come back and lets talk.

Zack_Gochuck
Jan 3, 2007

Stupid Wrestling People


Manchild King posted:

Oh yeah I knew that would stand out like dogs balls as soon as I typed it. The year was 2003 or so. Micheal Jackson was in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons after doing an interview with that Martin Bajir I think his name was. Anyway at the time I truly believed "don't worry what others think of you". So the next morning at school I did my best impression "Sharing your bed with children... Its a beautiful thing" Complete with creepy spaced out Michael Jackson voice. Me and my close friends thought it was hosed up and therefore hilarious. I was pretty immature I guess. Anyway quite a few other classmates thought I was not only totally serious but a dangerous child molester. For the next 2 years I was asked no less than 3 times a day "are you a pedophile?" "why are you a pedophile" etc. It sounds stupid but it does mess with your head having hundreds of people you hardly know asking you the same thing over and over. There are only so many ways you can say "no" or "that got out of hand". I cannot emphasize how much people love a good pedo story. Even alot of the school administration were convinced I was some sexual deviant (I wasn't at that stage). Moral of the story, it does matter what other peoples opinions of you are.

So that was in high school? Stop being stupid. High school doesn't matter. High school is a bizzaro land that operates outside of regular social interaction and laws. I can remember punching people in the guts in high school, and I would certainly be arrested if I did that now. Seriously, anyone who gives a poo poo about high school more than three or four years after it is over is pretty much a loser. No one thinks you're a pedo.

*Edit* Did you try and argue that you weren't a pedophile when people would say you were one? Did you get mad or frustrated? I would imagine that no one actually thought you were a pedo, but called you one because watching someone get frustrated over stupid bullshit is hilarious.

Manchild King
Oct 22, 2010
I do feel a bit guilty about sharing the videos of the girls who were genuinely nice to me. However I then read the "camming connection" on Stripperweb. I went in without a hateful bone in my body, and came out one hour later a full blown misogynist.

Im not looking for a girlfriend right now because even at my "most sucessful" (19, full time job, expensive sports car) I couldn't. Which is why I feel the whole thing is pointless. Even when I was a lot better than I am now I was still depressed and still a lonely single guy. The major theme in my life seems to be failing which may be why I have a "defeatist" attitude as one poster put it.

*edit* The exercise is probably a good idea and I admit, one that been suggested to me before. I hate gyms for being overpriced and trying to get me into long contracts knowing I'll only last a week. Theres also one other reason I may elaborate on later.

Zack_Gochuck
Jan 3, 2007

Stupid Wrestling People


I'd like to hear how you went from having a full time job and an expensive sports car to where you are now. What happened to the job and car?

Honestly, I can sympathize with the weed thing. There are people that don't want to hang out with you if you don't want to smoke a joint. You kind of just need to find new friends.

TemetNosceXVIcubus
Sep 8, 2011

by Pipski


Magic_Ceiling_Fan posted:

I'd like to hear how you went from having a full time job and an expensive sports car to where you are now. What happened to the job and car?

Honestly, I can sympathize with the weed thing. There are people that don't want to hang out with you if you don't want to smoke a joint. You kind of just need to find new friends.

One of my nephews managed that. He got a full time job, worked for a few months, then bought a brand new Mitsubishi Lancer at a horrible interest rate. The company went bust, he got fired, and the car got reposessed. Now he's got a poo poo credit rating and no job.

I better call my sister and make sure that Manchild King isn't related to me...fucker better not be.

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003







Start taking care of yourself.

By that I mean earn your own money and spend it on your survival. Your addictions will dry up real quick the first time you have to choose between eating and a 10 minute private session with your camgirl of choice. Trust me I know this one from experience.

Eggbert Shoots Fire
Jul 30, 2003

Hey guys what is going on in this thread

Manchild King posted:

I hate gyms for being overpriced

Yet you pay for pornography and smoke half a gram of weed a day. poo poo excuse for not making a $10/month investment for your own health.

Sally Slug
Jul 8, 2005

Ride, Sally, ride!


Here is a short, incomplete list of things that people will suggest to you:

Couch to 5K or some other form of exercise.

Set an alarm clock and actually get up at a reasonable time. Seriously.

Start volunteering a few days a week so that you meet new people, have a reason to get out of the house, and get something on your resume. It is really tough to find work right now but there are plenty of places that need volunteers. There is literally no excuse for you to not do this. None.

Get a cookbook and offer to make your parents a meal from it twice a week so that you actually learn to cook for yourself (and show some gratitude to your folks for putting up with your bullshit for so long).

Cut down on the pot. If you really feel like you are not ready to cut it out entirely, only use it once a week as a reward for a week of solid forward movement (making it to your volunteering position, cooking, working out).

Hobbies. finds some. You can be someone with lots of interesting things to talk about, but you need to actually make the effort. I know it's hard to be motivated when you suffer from depression, if you really feel cripplingly unable to deal with things then you should talk to your therapist about it and see what they suggest.

Stop thinking about finding a girlfriend for at least the next few months. Until you are happy with yourself you aren't going to have anything good come out of thinking about a relationship. Once you're actually taking positive steps in your life and are happier with who you are then you can be the kind of person someone awesome would want to date.

All of your issues (save for the fact that you will need to live with depression, and even there at least you can get medication to help minimize its impact on your life) are fixable. You need to be the person to say "enough is enough, I am going to change my life a little at a time".

Omnicarus
Jan 16, 2006



TemetNosceXVIcubus posted:

I better call my sister and make sure that Manchild King isn't related to me...fucker better not be.

I post a lot of dumb tough-guy bullshit in E/N.

Binowru
Feb 14, 2007

I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.

OP, you'd be surprised how much proper diet and exercise can improve your mood. I know you said you're on medication, and honestly I know nothing about depression, but sleeping all day and all that sugary soda can NOT be helping.

Once you get that alarm clock like Sally Slug suggested, make yourself a bowl of cereal as soon as you get up every day. Seriously. I found that making sure my stomach wasn't growling throughout the day was the easiest way to avoid unhealthy foods.

Consider enrolling in a community college (or the Australian equivalent). It'll give you a reason to get up each day, will help with job prospects, and is a good way to be more social.

Remember, it's all about small steps. You can't completely turn your life around tomorrow, but you CAN take steps to improve it.

SSNeoman
Jul 19, 2011

Villain tip: Next time kill
someone I actually like.


Sally Slug posted:

Solid advice

Do everything Sally says OP. It's like a checklist on how to unfuck your life. At least stop paying for porn. I mean you clearly have the internet so why the gently caress are you still paying?

Cuckoo
Apr 27, 2007

Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat


I love how your skipping over the legit advice given to you and choose instead to post lame stories! Seriously, dwelling on high school poo poo and believing that was an honest pedophile accusation rather than kids picking on you gives all of us a good idea of how out of touch you are.

According to many kids at school for a while I looked like Micheal Jackson despite being medium tan, a woman, and not having a creepy skull nose or thin lips. This was because my hair was permed like his and at about the same length. This was also at a largely white school where most of the kids had never seen a black girl in their life. I was also told I looked like Alicia Keys. And a panther. This is obviously all true, and I am a panther woman with an incredible singing voice but one too many unfortunate surgeries.

Seriously, please listen to the advice everyone has posted and will continue to post.

Toriori
Jan 4, 2012

No Yanda's allowed

Manchild King posted:

Im not looking for a girlfriend right now because even at my "most sucessful" (19, full time job, expensive sports car) I couldn't. Which is why I feel the whole thing is pointless. Even when I was a lot better than I am now I was still depressed and still a lonely single guy. The major theme in my life seems to be failing which may be why I have a "defeatist" attitude as one poster put it.

*edit* The exercise is probably a good idea and I admit, one that been suggested to me before. I hate gyms for being overpriced and trying to get me into long contracts knowing I'll only last a week. Theres also one other reason I may elaborate on later.
Who the poo poo even needs a gym to work out, this whole world is a gym. Put on some runners and go for a run, sheesh. It's not like the internet is a wealth of practically free knowledge or anything.

Manchild King
Oct 22, 2010
I do feel a bit guilty about sharing the videos of the girls who were genuinely nice to me. However I then read the "camming connection" on Stripperweb. I went in without a hateful bone in my body, and came out one hour later a full blown misogynist.

Magic_Ceiling_Fan posted:

I'd like to hear how you went from having a full time job and an expensive sports car to where you are now. What happened to the job and car?

Well it's simple. I quit. It was a basic factory job, but there was a twist I only learnt about on day two of the job. The business was run by an organisation that blurs the line between religion and cult called the Exclusive Bretheran. It was the definition of a dead end job. I stayed there 12 months with their stupid rules and hours before I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I was pretty slow, so I was always put on the worst most repetitive jobs. Sensing I would be fired I just decided to quit.

Without the 11 hour work days to pay for my cool looking ultra high maitence car I had to sell it as soon as the next insurance bill arrived. And strangely alot of my "new friends" stopped talking to me. What an odd coincidence. I've still got a car but its a Toyota Camry and noone asks for rides anymore.

Louisgod
Sep 25, 2003

Always Watching


You wait for you parents to cook food before you eat during the day? Are you 10?

Sally Slug
Jul 8, 2005

Ride, Sally, ride!


Dude people don't ask you for a ride anymore because they're in their 20s and aren't 19 year olds without cars anymore, not because you have a Camry.

Or because they don't want a lift from someone that is high all the time.

ANGRY TEEN
Aug 27, 2006

by Y Kant Ozma Post


I take it you don't know how to cook?

Lump this in with the getting up at a reasonable time to an alarm clock and hit the gym for 30 minutes per day suggestions: prepare yourself breakfast every morning. Start out simple with cold cereal, very quickly progress to hot cereals and then to making a couple of fried eggs and some toast. After a couple of weeks chop up a few potatos, some onion and green/red/yellow peppers and make fried pototos to go with the eggs and toast, or sizzle up some bacon.

Breakfast is a great way to familiarize yourself with the kitchen and get you used to using something other than the microwave. You could also make cooking your first hobby and repay your parents with some nice gestures, also a man that can cook really impresses ladies. It would be easy to parlay some of your culinary exploration into conversations to make new friends and in communicating with a member of the opposite sex that you fancy.

Of course, as stated, you're a long ways away from being relationship material and your standing desire to be in a relationship is based on all the wrong reasons and is unhealthy, based on where you're at right now.

Louisgod posted:

You wait for you parents to cook food before you eat during the day? Are you 10?

You're asking a poster who identifies himself as "manchild king" this question?

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003







All this talk of breakfast is reminding me how awesome breakfast is. I haven't been cooking breakfast every morning for a while now, but I sure as hell used to. 2 pieces of bacon, 2 eggs, and 2 pieces of toast. Of course I'm not sure I could eat all of that currently, it's a pretty large meal.

And it was mentioned, but OP, have you give any thought to the wonderful world of karaoke?

Manchild King
Oct 22, 2010
I do feel a bit guilty about sharing the videos of the girls who were genuinely nice to me. However I then read the "camming connection" on Stripperweb. I went in without a hateful bone in my body, and came out one hour later a full blown misogynist.

Cuckoo posted:

I love how your skipping over the legit advice given to you and choose instead to post lame stories! Seriously, dwelling on high school poo poo and believing that was an honest pedophile accusation rather than kids picking on you gives all of us a good idea of how out of touch you are.

Seriously, please listen to the advice everyone has posted and will continue to post.
I haven't skipped over anything. I assure you each post is read and considered.

Louisgod posted:

You wait for you parents to cook food before you eat during the day? Are you 10?
It's not that I have to wait for them It's just I would rather go without than do it myself.

Iron Crowned posted:

And it was mentioned, but OP, have you give any thought to the wonderful world of karaoke?
My Dad actually does Karaoke, and it is annoying and embarassing. Maybe he's using it to get back at me for embarassing him.

Someone asked if I could cook. Yes and no. I did a hospitality course last year that unfortunately didn't cover much cooking and was more concerned with OHS and customer service. I would probably have been better off buying a cookbook. I can barbeque meats, cook toast, and cook Mi Goreng noodles (generally too tedious to make with all those little sachets).

It's actually 7:30 in the morning here so I better get some sleep before I wake up lunch timish.

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003







Manchild King posted:

I haven't skipped over anything. I assure you each post is read and considered.

Since you only post about the stories listed in your first post, please tell us about "hobbies."

coyo7e
Aug 23, 2007


I didn't ask for this Coyote myth.

Half a gram of weed a day isn't an amazing amount, but it's certainly enough to make you a lazy useless fuckwit.

Weed is not physically addicting, it can't kill you from overdose and withdrawls, and some people can smoke weed 24/7 and still do more complicated and difficult poo poo than most folks can sober... This doesn't mean that you are one of those special people.

Quit smoking weed for two months, see how you feel, and share it with your shrink. Your parents are obviously spending a lot of time and money and effort to help you get your poo poo together, so now it's time for you to grow up. When you grow up and have your poo poo together, then you can deserve to go find a relationship.

Louisgod posted:

You wait for you parents to cook food before you eat during the day? Are you 10?
It's a shame we can't swap this guy with the kids from that goon who lived in the trailer full of "soft spots." He's already used to waiting quietly for his parents to prepare food for him!

Fister Roboto
Feb 21, 2008

I am programed in multiple techniques. A broad variety of pleasuring.



Manchild King posted:

I have one sister who is making me look extremely bad (she is off in an unnamed capital city in the final year of her law degree).

You really shouldn't say this, not about anyone but especially not about your own sister. The only person who is making you look bad is you.

ANGRY TEEN
Aug 27, 2006

by Y Kant Ozma Post


Manchild King posted:

I can barbeque.

Just a pro-tip for spotting manchildren for those reading the thread, that phrase coming out of a young dude's mouth is basically, "I cannot cook."

Consider incorporating what I said into whatever regimen you enter into. Once you accrue enough kitchen experience you will naturally, and without thinking be able to "figure out" your meal and make it happen. You would probably spend double or even triple the amount of time that I would take making a simple breakfast, just because the kitchen is an unfamiliar environment for you, so even the simplest kitchen tasks take a great deal of thought and consideration when they should be second nature to you.

As long as feeding yourself is such a ponderous endeavor you're going to struggle to take care of yourself in that regard. If you don't clean up after yourself or do your own laundry, you will be more prone to take care of those other areas of your responsibility once you're responsible for yourself in the kitchen.

Phisty
Feb 2, 2010



Manchild King posted:

Im not looking for a girlfriend right now because even at my "most sucessful" (19, full time job, expensive sports car) I couldn't. Which is why I feel the whole thing is pointless. Even when I was a lot better than I am now I was still depressed and still a lonely single guy. The major theme in my life seems to be failing which may be why I have a "defeatist" attitude as one poster put it.
Its not your lack of "success" thats keeping you single. Its your defeatest attitude. Plenty of men have girlfriends regardless of money or looks. It is 100% about confidence. If you think you are poo poo, no one else has reason to believe any differently. The guys I know that get laid/date the most are complete losers objectively speaking, but are so comfortable with themselves no one can see them as anything less than awesome.

If you fix yourself, relationships will follow. It would be incredibly unwise with your mental health issues to pursue a partner right now, especially since your primary motivation for having a girlfriend seems to be sex which is supposed to be a fun byproduct of happy relationship and not the sole reason for it.

Dingleberry Jones
Jun 1, 2008
If I'm posting a new thread, it means there is a thread already posted and I failed at using the forum search correctly

Something seems kinda fake-post about the pedophile thing. I think it's the way you presented it. "The year was 2003 or so. Micheal Jackson was in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons."

Manchild King
Oct 22, 2010
I do feel a bit guilty about sharing the videos of the girls who were genuinely nice to me. However I then read the "camming connection" on Stripperweb. I went in without a hateful bone in my body, and came out one hour later a full blown misogynist.

Iron Crowned posted:

Since you only post about the stories listed in your first post, please tell us about "hobbies."
Im happy talk about anything, but there are lots of posts and Im just limited by how fast I can type with one hand.

Hobbies include over the years have included many of the typical nerd hobbies. Very big on trading card games till about 3 years ago. I got tired of Magic the Gatherings perpetual card buying and quit playin that. My parents actually got mad when I said I wasn't going to play organised games anymore cause that was the last social thing I did really. After that I got big into the Vidya for a escapism. Then I mentally regressed a bit and decided that I didn't like videogames either. Now I just build Lego. Yes I am serious (sorry for bringing shame to the Lego thread).

Someone asked what I look like. I have a nice face I think, thin lttle stick arms and all the fat on my body is on my gut.

I was going to do a massive post explaining why addicts will still buy porn, but Im too tired. I'll do it later.

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Zack_Gochuck
Jan 3, 2007

Stupid Wrestling People


Manchild King posted:

Im happy talk about anything, but there are lots of posts and Im just limited by how fast I can type with one hand.

Hobbies include over the years have included many of the typical nerd hobbies. Very big on trading card games till about 3 years ago. I got tired of Magic the Gatherings perpetual card buying and quit playin that. My parents actually got mad when I said I wasn't going to play organised games anymore cause that was the last social thing I did really. After that I got big into the Vidya for a escapism. Then I mentally regressed a bit and decided that I didn't like videogames either. Now I just build Lego. Yes I am serious (sorry for bringing shame to the Lego thread).

Someone asked what I look like. I have a nice face I think, thin lttle stick arms and all the fat on my body is on my gut.

I was going to do a massive post explaining why addicts will still buy porn, but Im too tired. I'll do it later.

I walked into a card shop that also sells comics with my girlfriend and her best female friend the other week to kill some time. When the two girls entered, the five or six guys that had been hanging out talking about cards or whatever went dead silent and leered at them to the point where they both felt uncomfortable, and told me they wanted to leave.

What I'm trying to ask is, and I'm only asking this because you specifically mentioned trading card games, are you one of those kind of guys, OP?

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