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FactsAreUseless posted:That happens in the PS2/Wii game "Okami," I don't know if it also happened in another Japan-themed RPG. It wasn't a PS2 game, it was someone recounting an occurrence in their tabletop, pen-and-paper game  Doc Hawkins said the exact same drat thing when I asked if requests were alright.Maybe I should be more specific. This was just the one player's character, not a setting-specific character.  I've owned and played Okami, I know enough not to mix the two up.
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Jan 15, 2012 16:13
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Hmm. Memorable experiences, eh? Well, first game I ever played was Call of C'thulhu. Now, the GM of this was not very experienced, so it kind of ... degenerated. Firstly, one of our party rolled the absolute maximum for Wealth on character creation. Additionally, our GM didn't notice the part in the rules about scarcity of certain items for acquisition. So, we began our battle against the Elder Gods with a hot air balloon and a 55mm field mortar. Various highlights of this campaign include: - Testing alien artefacts on a mountain-man who we handcuffed to his bed, resulting in the following exchange: "Huh, so that hand-gadget kills people with freezing mist! Leave the window open, it'll look like he died of exposure." "Exposure." "Yeah, I mean, it's cold on this mountain..." "And how will that explain the shotgun pellets in the body?" "Ah." - The line: "I heat the crowbar with the blowtorch, and ask him again what they do with the severed limbs." - A scene in which I decided to drug a jazz musician to get his cursed trumpet, and put four ounces of laudanum in his drink: more than ten times the lethal dose. Fortunately, he spots this, on account of how his drink is now more laudanum than whiskey. - Tossing a jury-rigged flare shell from our mortar into a basement, then stabbing the blinded hobo that emerges to death after he tries to hit one of us with a table-leg. - Breaking into the library of Miskatonic-U to steal a mythos grimoire, nearly getting killed in the attempt, murdering three innocent security guards, then getting away only to have the following happen: "Finally, we made it! Right, who has the highest SAN... oh, it's me. Fine, I open the book." "Can you read Latin?" "gently caress!" So yeah, that was fun times. There was also once a scene in a homebrew campaign I ran, in which the players were (it seemed) stalling for time, and they drew me (in character as one of the villains) into an explanation of how I made my money selling tours of the underground and murdering my patrons, then interrupted me half-way through my monologue with "I shoot him." I gave them a bonus for catching the villain mid-exposition.
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Jan 15, 2012 16:20
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Just heard a pretty great story from a guy. Some years ago he was at a con, and signed up for a game. He doesn't remember the name of the system - some mil-sim thing - but he distinctly remember the GM claiming that his legal name was "Wizard". Characters were provided for this game, of course. Hardened mercenary types. Three of them were identical, the fourth nearly so. The game starts with the characters sent to this mansion. They're led around by the owner. The GM goes on and on about how huge and palatial it is. Decor includes golden statues of the owner. Finally they ask, what the hell, is the game just a guided tour? No, the guy says, the mission is they need to protect him, there are people trying to kill him. Well okay, they say, I guess we'll start setting up defenses. No, he says, they're already here! Outside is an army of people. Like, on the order of 10 thousand. The mercs leap into action, and act all military and serious, taking up defensive positions. Combat begins. Rounds pass. They shoot a guy, a couple of guys even, but what's the point when there are literally thousands more? Hope is not yet lost! The mansion owner walks out to the front steps and shouts "Behold my true form!" He transforms into a dragon, and flies over the faceless nameless army, decimating them with his fire-breath. Afterwards, the GM tells the players proudly, "Yeah, that guy? He totally used to be my character in this game." I say this was actually a good experience, because the guy telling me this story, along with two of the other players, were inspired by it to start an organization just to ensure that cons have non-lovely GMs. e: Benjamin Black posted:There should probably be some sort of explanation for the thread title in the OP. Good idea. e2: FactsAreUseless posted:That happens in the PS2/Wii game "Okami," I don't know if it also happened in another Japan-themed RPG. Have you tried Ghost Story: a Japanese Ghost Story? Doc Hawkins fucked around with this message at 19:38 on Jan 15, 2012 |
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Jan 15, 2012 19:30
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Doc Hawkins posted:Hope is not yet lost! The mansion owner walks out to the front steps and shouts "Behold my true form!" EDIT: Actually I just realized that's an awesome premise for a game.
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Jan 15, 2012 23:39
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Endorph posted:They were guarding Dracula's Castle from the Belmont Family? Igor: The Henching
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Jan 16, 2012 00:37
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Really Pants posted:Igor: The Henching See: My Life With Master.
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Jan 16, 2012 00:44
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http://wod.wikia.com/wiki/Hunchback:_The_Lurching Yes, that is a thing.
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Jan 16, 2012 00:55
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I'll post this here, since apparently the two threads are combined. I can't promise any cat-piss people, but reading this story may be treasonous. Paranoia: An Actual Bad Experience Okay, so this is probably all my fault, but is #2 on my list of bad experiences role playing. I was still a relatively greenhorn GM at the time, with this being the second or third time I'd ever ran a game. Having played Paranoia a time or two, and with the previous GM of that game having graduated, I took it upon myself to run the game. So, I read all the rules, and invited about 5 of my friends to play, and read through the rules to get an idea of how to run it. I even wrote up a quick one shot to warm us up. So, on the day of, about 12 people show up. Somehow it went from 5 people to 5 people and their girlfriends and roommates, all of them wanting to play. I knew I should've kicked people off, but uh, yeah I didn't. Well, naturally the game went from "get to the briefing room" to "everyone trying to out shoot and out shout each other, traitor commies be damned." (These were people I soon learned were constantly trying to out backstab each other in their normal, daily lives) Yeah, I lost control of the players and try as I could I couldn't regain control. At that point I just gassed them all, did a complete clone wipe and called the session. They were still trying to out shout each other as I was walking away (this was in the Student Hall, and I swear they were louder than that place ever was during a weekday lunch hour). The next day, one of the players (one of the original 5 I invited to the game) complained that he shot another player in the head, but didn't kill him, but was shot in the chest and was killed. I tried to explain how that was part of the 'wackiness' of Paranoia, but he wouldn't have it. Complained that the rules didn't make sense (yes, I told him he's not suppose to know the rules). Anytime after that, when I asked him if he was interested in playing Paranoia agian, he would always complain of that one incident and swore off playing any Paranoia ever again, try as I might to explain it was my poor skills as a GM that caused that game to go belly up in the span of an hour and a half. I learned a bit there, but unforntunately could never get another Paranoia campaign going again. Worst gaming experiance #1 was playing a shape-shifter native american in Shadowrun, and then being sold to Renraku by two of the other PCs and my fate being described in full detail by the GM.
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Jan 16, 2012 03:33
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I was running a Call of Cthulhu D20 game a few years ago during modern times and the group had heard about a car accident where the drivers of one vehicle fled the scene. The reasoning was quite clear: when the car wrecked, dead decayed bodies spilled out of the vehicle. Apparently these cultists were digging up graves and transporting the bodies somewhere. The group eventually tracks them down to some creepy old house in a bad part of town and after exploring the house make their way out back to what appears to be a mausoleum. They pick the padlock on the gate and go down a bunch of steps inside, only to be greeted with a bunch of cultists performing some ritual with people staked up on the walls, some big pit with weird sounds coming from it, troughs engraved in the ground for blood to flow into the pit, the works. There's also a Worm That Walks, which is essentially a dead wizard that's now basically just a huge bipedal mass of worms and vermin. The Worm That Walks blocks their path into the room while the cultists try to finish the ritual. It's a tight corridor so there's just one guy getting basically engulfed slowly by this worm, and it's casting these ray spells at the other members further back too. The guy in the back is just shooting at it wildly but he's in the way of the other members' retreat. So everyone's trying to fight this thing, it engulfs one or two characters and ends up dropping the guy in the back with some spell. The guy right in front of him freaks out and runs away while the only two people remaining end up dropping the worm. They go into the room to try to take out the cultists, but one of them looks down into the pit, fails his sanity check, and becomes a gibbering idiot on the ground for a few rounds. This makes the last guy think that it's probably a good idea to get the hell out of here and he beats feet. He gets to the entrance to the mausoleum, and the gate is now locked. The guy who ran out had slipped me a note that when he got outside if he didn't see anyone coming behind him he was locking the gate and running away. I thought it was a pretty natural reaction to dealing with a big walking pile of worms that is eating people and shooting lasers. So he's locked in a very small space, wounded, and there are cultists breathing down his neck. That was the end of that. sighnoceros fucked around with this message at 05:51 on Jan 16, 2012 |
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Jan 16, 2012 05:46
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GOONS ARE MEAN
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That sounds like exactly how any good Call of Cthulhu game should end. Though to be fair there should probably be a postscript where the guy who ran away ends up in an asylum and/or the newest sacrifice. It could even be the hook for the next group to die horribly in that mausoleum!
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Jan 16, 2012 06:02
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My worst gaming experience not related to to terrible, cat-piss players, was our group's first, and only, game of Paranoia. I was ready for a little break from my normal GM duties so one of our players volunteered to run a game of Paranoia. I had heard a little bit about the game but only the volunteer had ever actually played it. He describes the general feel of the game and we agree to play next week. We show up at his house next week, having read or ignored the short "the rules we need to know" pamplet and get ready for the game. It starts out great! Our guide begins by roleplaying a higher clearance functionary, passing out character sheets and setting out a cup full of pens. Nobody falls for the trap by grabbing any of the blue pens instead of red ones. With the bored tone of a bureaucrat, he walks us through character creation then reminds us about the drinks and pizza in the kitchen. We lose a player to some grape soda but the gm laughs it off and says the kitchen is out of character. Finally the game really gets started and it also immediately goes downhill. Our first task is to get our new equipment issued to us and gear up. We find our way to the dispensery after passing a long line of people only to find out that we passed the back of the line half a block back. I guess we just didn't "get" the game because we all just stood in line like good little drones until the malfunctioning little robot that has been acting as our link to our boss informs us that if we do not report to the briefing room in ten minutes, we will all be termintated. It has been a good two hours and we have done nothing but wait in line aside from a couple half hearted attempts to cut ahead so about half the group decides to just skip the gear while the other half is determined to follow through on their first task. At this point, one of our players has been sitting on the couch texting other players about how they are bored and everyone else is visibly not having fun so we just call it there. The gm apologizes and tells us he was running a stock situation from the book and that the spirit of the game was finding ways around the broken bureaucratic system while trying to rat out our team mates for favor with the higher ups. This is my worst gaming experience because, by all accounts, Paranoia is a fun game but I'll get a chance to play again with this group because we couldn't get out of the lets follow the rules and play for the team mentality. That mindset shouldn't make games worse!
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Jan 16, 2012 18:23
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Chance II posted:This is my worst gaming experience because, by all accounts, Paranoia is a fun game but I'll get a chance to play again with this group because we couldn't get out of the lets follow the rules and play for the team mentality. That mindset shouldn't make games worse!
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Jan 16, 2012 18:44
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Yeah, I think the worst part is that the gm was so into and doing a great job but we just weren't the right kind of players for the game. I don't want to discourage a good gm cuz its one more game I don't have to run.
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Jan 16, 2012 18:48
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You can have players roll with it or not. IMO the fun of Paranoia is: As a GM, watching the players squirm. Laughing at their shenanigans. As the player, getting out of impossible Catch-22s. Screwing over the other players when it would be funny. Just mindlessly blasting each other or constantly screwing over the other players is dull. Players should work together until it would be funnier not to.
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Jan 16, 2012 19:10
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Megaman's Jockstrap posted:As the player, getting out of impossible Catch-22s. My favorite memories are of players fast-talking. I remember being able to convince some Vulture Squad goons that I was totally justified in turning off something I (and not them) knew would explode despite being ordered to turn it on with the justification that Friend Computer had obviously given me mechanical skills for a reason, like being able to diagnose and disarm malfunctioning equipment which could damage Alpha Complex. The best I've ever seen is after the People's Glorious Revolution (or whatever it's called) when Friend Computer knocks some clones out, wipes their memories, and sets them up in an alternate Alpha Complex under "Comrade Computer" so it can try to figure out what's so great about Communism anyways. At the end, all the (remaining) clones have their memories restored and are asked how they feel about acting all Communist and totally not in favor of "Friend" Computer. Most people lost a clone after their explanations. One guy had all of his clones taken away (he'd said he was totally for his actions). But the last guy, the new guy, talked rapidly for about a minute and a half. I'm not entirely sure he stopped for breath the entire time he was speaking. But at the end, no one in the room, players or GM, could find a hole to poke in his explanation. He got a promotion.
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Jan 16, 2012 20:47
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I managed to kill (as in total clone wipe) my entire Paranoia party, plus convince the computer to give me a promotion. The mission was to go investigate one of those secret societies, to see if they were communists. Oddly enough, this particular group were not fond of communists. And I was a member. My party had no clue of either these facts. My group "discovers" their next meeting place is in one of the big food processing plants, full of giant vats of, well, food being processed. They decide the best course of action is to frame the group as being commie traitors, record the "evidence", then ambush the group and kill them all. I state that we will need someone in our party to go to the meeting in person. They unaminously volunteer me for the task since I came up with the idea. They then formulate the plan of attack, where the other cameras would be, where our 'sniper' and 'mech-pilot' would be hiding so as to spring a surprise attack. All of this information and planning I was there for in character. So, obviously, I sabotage the whole opperation. The PC with the camera gives his camera to me. I smear something on the lense so no body can see what I'm doing. I get to the meeting earlier than my party expected me to, and pass on word about the ambush. The sniper? Gets sniped. The mech-pilot? EMP bomb and drowns in his own piss. The commie? Well, after realizing I was now the enemy, decides to walk up to the meeting in full commie dress and shout "Hello, comrades!" Vaporized by the lazers of 30 angry not-commies. The last party member not killed? Harkening back to a previous in game moment of briliance (and hilarity), activates the Halon fire supression system in hopes of suffocating everyone in the plant. He successfully kills off the last clone of the sniper and former mech-pilot guy, but escapes. The secret group? Escaped unharmed, all of them. He himself escapes, and tells the responding fire crews that it was the secret group meeting that set off the halon system. Well, I make it back to the Friend Computer, by myself, and submit my evidence. Proof that the Commie was a commie. He had one clone left and was promptly killed by the computer. Proof of who activated the Halon system. He had three clones left. His treason was so egregious (ruined all the food in the plant), the computer wiped them all out at once. And of course, I double cross my own secret society, revealing they were in fact commies plotting to overthrow the computer. My valuble information grants me two extra clones and a promotion to Yellow, and middle management. My fellow PCs? All dead, no more clones. I beat [my party at] Paranoia. CovfefeCatCafe fucked around with this message at 22:09 on Jan 16, 2012 |
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Jan 16, 2012 22:06
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I've just recently started getting into D&D this past year and I've only been playing for about 5 months at this point. Although once I started everyone around me decided then wanted to play as well. I got in with a friend's game at school and when I came back for break all my home friends had decided to play as well. So in those 5 months I ended up in two long term games. Great fun all around. A already a number of, IMO, great stories. Be warned: Wall'o'text. But I'll split the stories if people like them. My first game is a homebrew 3.5 game run by my friend's buddy. Very experienced, great at story telling, and world building. So we have a party of 6: Elf Thief, Human Beguiler, Human Pirate, Human Ranger, Human Barbarian, and me, with a Dwarf Bard. Why a Dwarf Bard? Why the gently caress not? The DM said it would be a more political campaign so my guy was cracked out in diplomacy, bluff, forgery, etc. We all start off in a busy shipping town and are let loose. How to fail your way into blowing up a dock. So starting out the Thief, Beguiler, and Pirate are all in a group. Now previously the Pirate had ended up defecting from his crew to join that group, and in effect had been attacked by his Captain who didn't want him to leave, who after getting beaten decided to tell the crew that Erik (the Pirate) had been killed and the Captain couldn't save him. So the first thing Erik does is go straight to the port to find his old ship. Now out of game, the DM had decided that the big encounter in the town would be running into this Captain and having a big old pirate brawl. NOPE! Erik gets right to it. So he strolls down to the docks and finds his ship. Then he decides "You know what? I'm just gonna casually stroll onto the ship I defected from and take my 'retirement package'". As he strolls onto the ship everyone is looking bug eyed and mouth agape at him, since they thought he was dead. As he gets close to his cabin, the DM decides that the Captain has seen him and is now running towards him. Erik decides: "Uh, I'm just gonna leave." and just heads back off the boat. As he's leaving and trying to leave the docks the Barbarian, Conan (creative I know), shows up. Conan decides that he's drunk and wants to fight. He sees Erik and challenges him. Erik keeps walking. This is when the Captain finally calls out to Erik to stop and talk to him. Erik decides that a better idea is to pay the strange Barbarian to attack the Captain. The Barbarian agrees and charges at the Captain, who had also brought along his first mate. So much for the big end session encounter. So Conan is charging the Captain and as he goes to attack him: Crit Fail. He ends up tossing his great ax off into the water. Then the Captain tries to take a swing at Conan with his cutlass: Crit Fail. Another weapon off into the water. Now the first mate gives it a go, pulls out two daggers and: Crit Fail. Throws those into the water as well. So in the last 18 seconds, game time, a barbarian charged two pirates, threw his ax into the water, they followed suit with their weapons, and they are standing around unarmed. So Erik, seeing this massive display of incompetence, decides to join in after all, and goes for the Captain. He decides to use his spike chain to incapacitate him by wrapping him up: Critical Hit. And then he follows up with a coup de grace. Boss Character: dead. Now Conan decides to finish up the first mate by grappling him. But the first mate wins initiative over him. So the first mate pulls out a flaming short sword and swings at Conan (you can see where this is going): Crit fail. He ends up throwing it into the store behind him, and setting it on fire. What store was this? Cannon supply depot. Conan decides that the best course of action is to drop kick the first mate into the store and run. Result: normal hit, first mate goes flying into the store, everyone runs the gently caress away, and the place explodes. This all took place within the first 10 minutes of the campaign. Next story: Knock knock, who's there, HORSE! President Unerlion fucked around with this message at 21:43 on Jan 18, 2012 |
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Jan 18, 2012 18:28
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President Unerlion posted:So in the last 18 seconds, game time, a barbarian charged two pirates, threw his ax into the water, they followed suit with their weapons, and how they are standing around unarmed.
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Jan 18, 2012 21:40
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So, I've got a couple things here. I'll start with That Guy (female edition). One of my very first players was a girl who the rest of us knew in some way or another. Now, she didn't smell like Satan's stepdaughter or anything, and she was fairly fit; nearly anorexic, really. Her problems were pretty drat unique. Firstly, she had severe obsessive-compulsive disorder. She was very, very easy to set off on any matters concerning hygiene. She also had the disturbing habit of plucking hairs from her head and eating them. I... never did summon up the courage to ask why. She had bald patches all over her head and the remnants were shorn short. She looked like some sort of radiation victim. Secondly, I'm pretty sure she was a sociopath, at least highly misanthropic. She was in it to kill things; both in and out of character. Things she was on the record as hating included the school we were at, her professors, the rest of the group, her family, and me. Thirdly, she was highly paranoid. Don't have much more to say on that count. She eventually left the campaign for a Death Watch game. Not really surprising, I guess. Second is a good story. During my first campaign, there was a period where the party split up to investigate a criminal organization. When the party discovered the gang's headquarters, one of them left before the others to scout out the place alone. When the rest of the party arrived, Scout was still doing his stealthy thing. Paranoid Chick does a check for sentries. I tell her the place seems deserted, but she notices somebody skulking in the shadows. She prepares to shoot him, stacking on as many modifiers as possible. I think she made a boast about "one-shotting the bastard." She rolls, the dice come up pretty. "So do I get him?" "I don't know," I deliberately drawled out. I looked over at Scout on the other side of the table. "What was your dodge again?" Never seen a table go quiet so fast before or since.
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Jan 18, 2012 22:49
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I really love the Call of Cthulhu stories, because they fit with how my groups have always played. For non Call of Cthulhu familiar people, short glossary: shoggoth: giant amorphous monster, made of slime, teeth, and eyes deep one: fishmen like creatures that live in the ocean Nyarlathotep: Elder god who interacts with humans to trick and deceive them Call of Cthulhu was the first game I ever ran. It was also when I learned that you should look over character sheets carefully ahead of time. Highlights included: - One character, a doctor, going to the library and spending the entire time looking for occult books, to the extent of prying up the floorboards. - Another character bluffing against a whole horde of deep ones with a pair of pants and a stick. - Same character plunging an evil, sentient artifact down his pants, provoking a battle of wills with the ancient spirit contained within. The spirit critically failed and the player critically succeeded, so he was flooded with arcane powers and physically transformed.. - but he still went insane, and developed short-term obsessive compulsive disorder, which he manifested by washing chunks of shoggoths with his new monstrous claws. Why were there chunks of shoggoth? The villain I'd come up with was a shoggoth lord, described in the d20 CoC book. They're shoggoths that have learned to disguise themselves as people. When the shoggoth lord revealed his monstrous nature, another player (whose character was a college age girl) says, "Oh, okay. I'll use the dynamite on him." What. "Oh yeah, dynamite is pretty cheap! It's in the book, so I bought 18 sticks!" What. They set the dynamite to blow the office, ran, and spattered the shoggoth lord everywhere. The remaining shoggoth jelly was "cleaned" to by the artifact possessed monstrosity. Around this point I decided that the game should end soon, so an avatar of Nyarlathotep appears to check on his artifact. The artifact-possessing character mouths off to him ("How do you even know how to pronounce your name? What's up with the idiot flutists around Azathoth?") until Nyarlathotep loses patience and obliterates him. Then Nyarlathotep gives the artifact to another player on the condition that he travel to Europe to spread discord. The doctor, who spent most of the game in the library, came outside, beheld the shoggoth bits, spattered other character, and someone else making a deal with the devil... lights a cigarette, and leaves town without looking back. I remember we posted about it on a forum, way back then, and the general consensus was that we were playing CoC completely wrong. I think we were doing it right. This was also before Hellboy came out, so at the end, when they destroy the elder god thing with a bundle of dynamite, the players all turned to me to gloat about how that's a perfectly valid tactic. Later still, they made me a red wooden box containing fake dynamite and a lighter, with glass that reads "IN CASE OF SHOGGOTH, BREAK GLASS." And it is awesome. Sionak fucked around with this message at 17:50 on Jan 20, 2012 |
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Jan 20, 2012 00:00
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Sionak posted:I remember we posted about it on a forum, way back then, and the general consensus was that we were playing CoC completely wrong. I think we were doing it right.
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Jan 20, 2012 00:36
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Sionak posted:they made me a red wooden box containing fake dynamite and a lighter, with glass that reads "IN CASE OF SHOGGOTH, BREAK GLASS." Your group loves you and this is a mark of high esteem. Treasure this prop always.
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Jan 20, 2012 00:47
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Yawgmoth: I agree completely. And you should nenever worry too much what people on the internet say about your game, anyways. Gomi: I definitely do, I love that thing and getting to tell the story when people see it.
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Jan 20, 2012 01:45
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Sionak posted:Later still, they made me a red wooden box containing fake dynamite and a lighter, with glass that reads "IN CASE OF SHOGGOTH, BREAK GLASS." You should be proud that they loved your game to the point where they got you stuff related to it! My Hackmaster group got me a skull-handled dagger with which to cut PC-kill notches into the top of my (handmade wooden) GM's Screen. I got 7 notches just in the Little Keep On The Borderlands module, which everyone in that group still regards as the best adventure we've ever played (except one guy, I've posted about him before though). Our other GM was given a wooden staff with a wooden skull on top of it to carve kill notches into. For extra humiliation, he'd make you carve the notch when your character died. Edit: drat that tab must have been open for hours... I see that you are happy with your prop. As you should be, because it is awesome.
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Jan 20, 2012 06:38
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We're playing a gang warfare game. A member goes over the line and is hauled into court on several murder charges. The judge is famously corrupt. A PC: "Do you do a bulk rate?" Later we worked out an instalment plan.
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Jan 20, 2012 12:57
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This was about 6 or 7 years ago so it was topical at the time. One of the guys in our group, "Ted", is a serious min/maxer/optimizer. I'm DMing a 3.5 game and his character is basically a Smurf cleric. Ted is very smug about his ridiculous AC and claims that he is unkillable. So I attack the party with Shadows and drop his 5 strength to 0 with one hit. This kills him after 2 minutes as no one else in the party can cast Restoration. LDK: "I've got good news Ted." Ted: "What, my character isn't dead?" LDK: "No, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico." Ted looks down at his character sheet, looks up at me, looks down at his character sheet, looks up at me. Jumps up from his chair and pulls out his knife, I jump out of my chair and he proceeds to chase me around the table a few times before the other players calm him down.
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Jan 20, 2012 15:12
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This was about 6 or 7 years ago, so it was topical at the time. One of the guys in our group, "Jacob", is seriously all about enjoying his character. I'm DMing a 3.5 game and his character is a paladin, and gently caress that noise. Jacob's all "man, I like this character a lot, it's so awesome. Look at all these great stats and abilities, he's so cool." So I attack the party with Tarrasques. Like, four of them. All for Jacob. I did it all for you Jacob. gently caress YOU JACOB After like two rounds the Tarrasques had separated Jacob into two halves and had swallowed him. That showed him. TGLT: HA HA HA HA HA HA Jacob: That was kind of stupid TGLT: YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK GOODBYE Then Jacob totally pulled out an AK-47 and tried to totally shoot kill me but all the others were like "NO NO HE IS GOOD DM PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO KILL HIM HE M AKES OUR LIVES WHOLE" And then Jacob stop and fell to his knees, silently praying "Please forgive me mighty DM you are the best in the land and also you are handsome and were I a women I would totally have sex with you." And then with my DM powers I made Jacob a woman. That showed him for playing a loving Paladin.
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Jan 20, 2012 15:24
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LongDarkNight posted:This was about 6 or 7 years ago so it was topical at the time. I've actually used that line before and the worst it's netted me was a scoff. Can't say I've ever been chased about with a knife. Please tell me you stopped playing with the guy. Was Ted a penquin, by the way?
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Jan 20, 2012 15:25
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And then everyone stood up and applauded, and the whole game turned into an MST3K riff-fest.
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Jan 20, 2012 15:29
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FactsAreUseless posted:And then everyone stood up and applauded, and the whole game turned into an MST3K riff-fest. Girls then lined up to dole out bjs for everybody! But in all seriousness, I love my current DM. He does a great job with atmosphere, and has nifty tricks to keep us all on our toes. We were traversing this clock puzzle, and trying to figure out what was going on, as when the clock struck a particular hour, a door opened and there was a puzzle inside. As an aside, this DM likes to keep his minis behind the DM screen, so that way when he busts one out it's always a surprise. Well, he was gesturing to something on the mat where our characters were positioned, and as he did he flashed a giant gently caress-off monster figurine, like three times the size of our character minis (thus indicating a gigantic gently caress-off monster IC as well, generally) just above the DM screen. We all immediately swiveled our heads to see what in the hell he was holding, but he had already put it back behind the screen. When questioned, he said "what figure? I don't know what you guys are talking about." We never had to fight the drat thing either, he was just loving with us. 
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Jan 20, 2012 16:06
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TGLT posted:
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Jan 20, 2012 16:16
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Yawgmoth posted:Yeah man, because making a min/maxed cleric and bragging about how you can't be killed is totally the same as playing a paladin. Way to stick it to him for telling a story! Yeah, I mean god forbid the DM just say "Hey bro, your character doesn't really fit in with the group and is probably going to make poo poo suck. Mind working with us to make it fit in better?" Also he totally chased him with a knife over a joke. Actually, chasing some one with a knife does remind me of one of my favorite moments while DMing. Running Rogue Trader for some friends last year, and they were exploring their ship after their Gellar Field was sabotaged. If you don't know 40k poo poo, basically the Gellar Field is the thing that keeps the ship safe from Space-Hell. Anyways, they reach a Chaos temple that had sprung up in a time distortion field, and were trying to break through it to reach the engine room and restart their ship. Along the way they find the key (an evil orb) they need to open the door leading to the engine shrine but it's under some wards. They let the psyker check it out first, and she tells them that removing the orb will cause some sort of psychic backlash that would wound them and kill lesser men. The person playing the rogue trader says out of character, "Oh man. I know this is awful, but this is probably what this guy would do." and then cons his NPC lackey squad into grabbing the orb. Lackey gets his soul sucked out by the orb, the party gets the orb, and the rest of the night the guy playing the rogue trader feels bad about it. Later on they're fighting the midboss, some big robot thing, and the rogue trader's lackeys are bugging the gently caress out. One of them shoots the rogue trader to try and keep him back, which the he takes as an insult (He's a noble with a serious problem with his pride) and spends the rest of his fight killing his lackey squad while the rest of the party fight the midboss. Afterwards I was checking in on him. He enjoyed the session but said, "Man, I kind of feel bad. This guy is awful. It makes sense he'd do it, but this guy's evil." It's the most rewarding thing for me as a DM, seeing a player develop a character in a sensible but unintended way. Still, I think we're gonna be having a more light hearted session next time.
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Jan 20, 2012 16:34
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I dunno, this is 40K. The setting is powered by people trying to out-evil each other in the nominal name of good, but actually wealth and power. It does seem to be a fairly common thing for new DMs to tackle a munchkin in-game with targeted encounters etc. rather than talking to them. With hindsight and age comes wisdom, I guess. One time, a similar thing happened to me. In an epic-level adventure, the problem player spent all their starting wealth on an ungodly powerful weapon. Everyone else spread their cash around, and (I think) we did try to encourage him to have armour and other gear, but he was having none of it. So the DM has an epic level monster, a Phase Slime, I think, show up and eat the sword. It was basically a walking ball of hunger for magic items. The rest of the party held back, shot the slime or used spells and eventually took it down. But, 'guy with nothing but a sword' had become 'guy with nothing'. The game didn't last too long after that, there were mixed feelings on both sides of the screen about what had happened. Also, the best way to combat a munchkin, is to restrict the source books. Here's a house rule that's followed me since 3.0: No Mongoose.
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Jan 20, 2012 17:44
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What a co-incidence, my house-rule is No D&D. 
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Jan 20, 2012 18:00
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The casual cannibalism and lack of morals in my current Dark Sun campaign has led to a couple of goofy reoccurring jokes. The thri kreen character is excited to be hunting giants because not only does he want revenge for the destruction of his tribe, but also because giant ribs are the key ingredient for double ribs-- barbecue ribs that have had their marrow sucked out and replaced with other, smaller ribs. And the equipment portion of his character sheet contains the following entries: "jerked people (4 survival days)" and "blood bag (also for kidnapping)".
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Jan 20, 2012 18:07
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So the one person I play with came up with a new D&D race. Its half dwarf and half orc. He calls it a dorc.
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Jan 20, 2012 18:34
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I've waited a few days to tell this story just to be sure it was as great as it was. My players all seemed to have a great time, but I as DM felt most rewarded with a few things they did. tl;dr - my players make twitter accounts for their characters, updating their status during the climactic battle (somehow) The party was closing in on the BBEG who was responsible for starting a coordinated ghoul outbreak and partially destroying a dwarven city for some purpose as well as previous orcish raids. This enemy was also the sworn foe of one of the players, a min/maxed avenger that had sworn a vow of silence until she killed the BBEG as her scream of terror had resulted in a parent and mentor getting killed while trying to protect her. (Sidenote: I was very, very concerned at the start because the player is very good at optimizing and a mute character was really, really setting off alarms. I discussed this with the player, got some assurances, and my fears have since proved to be unfounded. The player doesn't abuse the extra fighting prowess and has managed to integrate well in the group and roleplay despite being mute. Anyway...) They're closing in on BBEG under-under-underground lair, blasting ghouls with radiant energy and turning them to ash, working as a team and being badass, when I start with the whispers. Each of them gets sent telepathic messages expressing doubt, rousing suspicions of the other PCs, or claiming that they will be the ones to betray the party or be possessed by the BBEG. The players all play it out spectacularly, and the confident group starts fraying at the edges as their battle prowess suffers. They struggle through to the final battle, and they kick things off by rolling an alchemical barrel engraved with explosive runes into the room, completely surprising the lich and the Big Bad, setting them on fire and giving acid damage. When they close for melee combat through the fog of corrosive vapors, the avenger gets a critical hit with the first blow, shrieking her fury and unleashing ten levels' worth of pent up expression. The other players hold off the baelnorn lich sidekick (temporarily banishing him to another plane, save ends) and start setting up more explosions to take out whatever bizarre experiments he's conducting. When the next round comes around, the avenger gets ANOTHER critical hit! Though the Big Bad technically had 50 hitpoints left I killed him off with suitably dramatic parting words through the blood bubbling to his lips before slumping into unconsciousness. I thought that was a cinematic point to end the encounter and a good end to a character arc. The players finish their preparations, set off a chain reaction, and get the gently caress out of dodge. The last player to leave manages to see the lich pop back into existence just in time to realize how hosed he is. A quick skill challenge later and they've escaped the massive explosion and returned to the city to see the ghoul infestation dissipating into random monsters fighting each other. This is where the players surprise me. They had made twitter accounts for their characters and were updating them throughout the battle. The jokes wouldn't translate without a lot of backstory, so just imagine incredibly funny references and sick ice burns going back and forth while they're fighting off undead hordes. The messages later change to personal ones of doubt, paranoia, suspicion, and accusations against the other PCs. Finally, there's rage and anger during the final battle followed by fear during the escape followed by jubilation and triumph at their victory, as well as a little melancholy for the avenger. They finally linked me to them towards the end, and it was a struggle to remain serious when I really just wanted to crack up laughing. The mental image of these PC badasses clicking away at whatever a smartphone equivalent would be made me laugh my rear end off, as did the comments themselves. I have the best players  (Some things that didn't go so great - they definitely felt the encounter was a little underwhelming since the barrel bomb + banishment + double-critical from the avenger really did a number on the bosses, and with the quick resolution I wasn't able to bring the other preparations to bear. I also had a DMPC they hated - and before I get chewed out, it's because I went too far the other way and made him too useless. He wasn't even going to be there originally, but the players were stuck at one point and I threw him in to provide direction. After that, he wasn't weak enough to get killed and the players weren't going to kill him, so he just kinda tagged along. He did non-combat stuff like illusions distracting the giant troll while the party was fighting other monsters and holding the pocket dimension trap together long enough for them to escape, but it just became too much fun to hate on him I guess)
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Jan 20, 2012 18:43
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Ok another story: Knock Knock, Who's there?, HORSE! So after killing off the Big Bad encounter our DM had prepared for us in the first 10 minutes of the game we moved on to getting the rest of the players into the story. As is tradition (and horribly cliched at this point) the DM kept trying to push people toward going to the Tavern to meet up. Well we collectively said "gently caress that noise" and all split off in all different directions. Most of the party is looking to steal from random shops or just buy equipment, and others are looking for jobs or people to fight. I decide that I wanted to try and find out some info or dirt about people in town that I could steal from. But I decide to go to the black smith to do this. gently caress Taverns. After a decent spot check and a crit gather info check I find out that there is a very rich man getting a special custom weapon made at the black smith. KA-CHING! After some more info gathering I find out that the guy is basically the head boss of the town. Not the Mayor, just the richest fucker around who own's almost everything in town. This leads to a little meta-gaming on the part of everyone but the Barbarian, Conan, who is only looking to beat poo poo up. Soon everyone is trying to find a way into this guy's huge loving mansion. The attempts were as follows: Elf Thief: Cased the place to try and find a way to sneak in. Found no possible way of doing so due to lots of torches and guards. Ranger: Same as elf, but decided to go next door to the stables to start a stampede to distract everyone, and then sneak in. Beguiler: Disguises as a guard, walks right in. Pirate: Tries to sneak on the property via the docks (which the mansion was right next too). Finds a 50ft shear cliff, gives up goes to try and find another way in. Bard (me): I forge a note from the Merchant to the Smith asking about some bullshit, get a note from the Smith to the Merchant about said poo poo. Use the Smith's note to get into Mansion. (Also find out the weapon he is making is called the Vorpal Blade. yeah.) How do all these plans end up working out? Well the DM decided we were all doing this at roughly the same time. He also decided that, since he finally had most of the players going to the same place that Conan was heading over there as well, to fight guards. So here's how it goes down: My Bard is walking toward the house, bumping into the Elf who gets suspicious of what I'm doing and sticks around. As I near the first guards, who take my note and tell me to head towards the front doors, the ranger sneaks into the stables and starts smacking horses on the rear end to get them to go crazy. As I reach the front doors the stable wall next to the house explodes and about 15 horses all come charging over the front lawn causing a huge commotion. I run inside, the ranger sneaks in through a window on the first floor, ends up in a pantry, and proceeds to start eating. The Beguiler decides to run inside during this commotion to "Warn the Merchant", the Pirate sees the horses distracting the guards and sneaks in through a window on the opposite side of the house that the Ranger got in from (startling the female servants whose room he just entered), and the Elf just sort of sticks around watching all this. It's about this time that the Barbarian reaches the house and sees a large open field of a front lawn covered in stampeding horses and frantic guards and Stable Men trying to control the situation.  I want to punch a horse. You want to punch a horse? Ok...you see a horse charging at you, make an attack roll. Crit. Ok. The horse is thoroughly stunned after getting cold cocked. Now what do you want to do? I'm gonna pick up the horse. You can't carry a horse. My strength is 22, I can lift 500lbs over my head and carry it. DC check of 20 to see if you can do it. 16 plus 6. gently caress. Ok you are carrying a horse above your head. Everyone around, and even a few horses are visibly awe struck. I charge the front door. You charge the front door? I use the horse as a battering ram and charge the door. Ok you charge the door, but forgot to turn the horse so you are charging with it side on. Make the roll. Crit. 26 on the attack.  ...So back to everyone else's perspective for a second. We all had sneaked in, sans Elf and Barbarian, and were in the main foyer. I'm being escorted by guards to the Merchants office, the Ranger is stuffing his face and trying to sneak around the foyer, the Beguiler is watching the commotion outside, and the pirate comes running out of the servants quarters alerting the guards. The guards upstairs with me tell the Beguiler to grab the Pirate just as her disguise wears off. So more guards are called, surround the room, they grab the Ranger, Pirate, and Beguiler and I get a sword put to me. The Merchant comes out and starts just sort of calmly interrogating us about why we all decided to break in at once. Then the Elf jumps in through a front window right into the circle of guards and tells everyone: "You may want to duck". Right at that point the Barbarian hits the front of the house, exploding the front door and part of the wall. He ends up knocking out 5 guards, busting up a bunch of statues, breaking a fountain, and just ends up standing in the middle of this guys foyer with a now completely dazed horse above his head.  What are you doing in my house. With that horse. I, uh, caught your horse for you. That is not my horse. Oh. *Proceeds to throw it back outside, knocking out two more guards*So that's how the DM finally got our group all together. I never did get to steal that sword though. President Unerlion fucked around with this message at 21:37 on Jan 20, 2012 |
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Jan 20, 2012 21:22
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President Unerlion posted:
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Jan 20, 2012 21:35
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 15:17 |
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President Unerlion posted:Ok another story:
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Jan 20, 2012 21:57
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