Movie Posters - The good, the bad & the awful

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Movie Posters - The good, the bad & the awful

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Maybe not the most obvious example of a terrible poster, but I come across this one almost daily and it's absolutely godawful.

This tells me absolutely NOTHING about the movie. And this is a goddamn Cronenberg movie; there's probably a whole lot to tell.

I mean, why would anyone go to this? Oh, it has these actors? Well, sold!

As bland and boring as they come.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2012 14:22

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 22:43

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Lizard Combatant posted:

They actually photoshopped that out of the original:

Maybe because it implies midget proportions and/or a hand sticking out of his chest.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2012 15:18

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Young Freud posted:

This is pretty awful. It looks very much like the mainstream DVD cover version, since I doubt audiences would have got the gestalt reference of the initial poster...

See how the Freud and Jung are merging together, almost to become some sort of third being with Keira Knightly. The desaturation also gives a supernatural quality to the poster, but it works within the context of the film.

See, even though I'm not a fan of this one either, at least it's trying to say something. It's implying something. Bringing something to the table.

That other one is just WATCH THESE ACTORS IN A MOVIE! POSSIBLY A PERIOD PIECE?!

# ¿ Jan 22, 2012 18:07

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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The MSJ posted:

Vikings: also too cool to look at burning stuff behind them. Also, Dominic Purcell looks weird with that hair; maybe because I'm more used to seeing him with less.

When I think 'great movies', I think 'Marriot'.

Madkal posted:

Honestly, seeing that poster makes me think that Red Tails is closer to Inglorious Basterds than anything else.

A blaxploitation 'Red Tails' directed by Quentin Tarantino would be great.

Dissapointed Owl fucked around with this message at 08:49 on Jan 25, 2012

# ¿ Jan 25, 2012 08:29

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Xenophon posted:

Those are incredible, I particularly loved:

Things seem to be going pretty loving good in Christianshavn for this guy.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2012 20:16

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Mister Chief posted:

He's never going to release this to the public, is he. :smith:

# ¿ Jan 27, 2012 01:23

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Desperado Bones posted:

Shame on you Dave Gibbons! Shame on you!

I like it,it's clever.

How is this story untold?

# ¿ Jan 27, 2012 23:38

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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PriorMarcus posted:

I don't understand why it matters how long ago the first/last Spider-Man film came out.

If it's a good film then you've got another good Spider-man film, and if it's not then you just shrug your shoulders and move on. The original films still exist.

I'm not saying that. If it's a good movie, it's a good movie. I don't even like the Tobey Maguire one.

It's just so drat uninspired.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2012 00:39

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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scary ghost dog posted:

Even as a joke this is such an offensively bad idea for a movie in every single way that it hurts my head to imagine it existing.

Soundtrack by 'Loutellica'.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2012 14:04

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Payndz posted:

Still, going from lovely 1970s British sex comedies to Bond is pretty good career advancement.

Early Bonds were basically sex comedies anyway.

# ¿ Feb 1, 2012 13:19

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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The MSJ posted:

Found this on imgur. Pretty clever. I wonder if the ads are real, though.

The ones on the Shame page don't have telephone numbers :eng101:

# ¿ Feb 2, 2012 23:48

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Desperado Bones posted:

I like this one, even if the posters doesn't tell us anything about the movie:

That loving quote. On every goddamn book of Barker is that loving King quote.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2012 00:39

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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TheJoker138 posted:

That's a pretty good cover, but the back is a pretty major spoiler for the end of the previous movie.

It wouldn't have been if you hadn't said anything :mad:

Here's this. Great job, Miramax! That helped!

# ¿ Feb 4, 2012 09:58

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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The Triumphant posted:

I'd disagree, but mostly because my faith is a pervasive and enduring belief in the power of Jean-Claude Van Damme.

I think you might be onto something there.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2012 21:27

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The Triumphant posted:

If anyone hasn't seen this film, his solution to being crucified is to kick the cross down.

I tell ya, Jesus must be kicking himself for not thinking of that.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2012 01:08

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Slasherfan posted:

What movie is that?

Cyborg aka Masters of the Universe 2

# ¿ Feb 6, 2012 01:25

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Maxwell Lord posted:

Rob Lowe is LITerally the finest actor I have ever seen.

Maxwell Lord! :ocelot:

# ¿ Feb 6, 2012 10:02

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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I could've sworn 16 Blocks had a cover with a similar layout but I can't find it. So I'm probably wrong.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2012 16:50

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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thrawn527 posted:

Keep in mind that even the first Crow is not really all that good. It's extremely 90s angst/goth. I'm not trying to open a can of worms or anything, but I don't think it's very much like Blade at all. It's well put together for what it is, and has some great scenes, but I think it only really worked for the time it came out. Watching it for the first time now might not be a very good experience.

I agree with this. Saw it for the first time two or three years ago and it doesn't really hold up.

e: I'd add my reasons why to this post but I can hardly remember anything from that movie.

Dissapointed Owl fucked around with this message at 17:47 on Feb 8, 2012

# ¿ Feb 8, 2012 17:41

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Desperado Bones posted:

Why?!
E.T. had some really beautiful posters:

Yeah, definitely.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2012 01:42

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Atasi posted:

No matter how weird the rest of the movie is, it's all worth it because the movie version of Smooth Criminal is the best music video ever made, hands down.

This cannot be stated enough.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2012 09:18

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Gringo Heisenberg posted:

I really like the poster for I Saw the Devil. Simple but unsettling.

Yeah, that poster is fantastic. Shame about the movie though. (I hated it.)

Speaking of South Korean movies, The Yellow Sea never had a good poster to begin with. (even though it's a great movie albeit with one of the least convincing car chase sequences I have ever seen)

But this is just awful. Screencap and unnecessary name change included.:

# ¿ Feb 9, 2012 20:02

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Hurf durf

# ¿ Feb 9, 2012 21:13

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The Triumphant posted:

I have this one over my desk in giant movie-theater size, and it's glorious.

On the topic of Asian cinema posters, I had these two hung up back when I was fifteen:

That loving jacket :allears:

That jacket joins Drive's scorpion jacket in 'clothes that only work due to movie magic'.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2012 23:06

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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User-Friendly posted:

Presented without comment.

French Stewart, you were fantastic in Surveillance. You are a good actor.

Fire your agent.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2012 15:46

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Baron von Eevl posted:

"From the Director of
BLUE CRUSH and
INTO THE BLUE

DARKBLUE"

Soundtrack by Eiffel 65.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2012 21:24

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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"Make me feel good, make me feel gooooood"

# ¿ Feb 10, 2012 22:05

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Madkal posted:

I just loved how blatant that scene was. It was pandering to the utmost level. There was no real reason for her to be topless and it added nothing to the movie.

Still, I loved that scene a lot.

And that is where you are wrong.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2012 22:42

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Madkal posted:

Well it added Berry's boobs to the movie, that is true. But it felt like "here are my tits, aren't they nice (yes they are) and now back to the movie".

Oh poo poo sorry, I thought the movie was about Berry's breasts and the rest was filler.

Also,

# ¿ Feb 10, 2012 23:04

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Desperado Bones posted:

I stole this from the Drive thread. I know it's fan made, but dear god...it deserves a special place here.

The alternate version where everyone wears a latex mask.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2012 23:08

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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The Triumphant posted:

Was Ron Perlman in that movie? Because the guy in the bottom right looks like him, and if you are making a normal person look like Ron Perlman you have failed as an artist.

Remember when you hadn't seen Robocop and you were forced to watch Robocop?

You haven't seen Drive. You must see Drive.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2012 23:15

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Here's a terrible poster:

# ¿ Feb 12, 2012 09:12

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Man, Parkour with guns? To kill?! Just when I thought it couldn't get more exciting.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2012 15:19

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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I like this one. Not great, but still good.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2012 16:41

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bobkatt013 posted:

I want Bitch Hunter the movie.

For now you'll have to make do with Bitch Killer.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2012 16:46

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Desperado Bones posted:

Gael Garc�a and Diego Luna? ~~Oh my God, when it's coming out?~~ I love those two guys so much!
And yeah, poster is nice,considering the style is trying to imitate

Edit: Duh, just saw the date down there.

I'm a big Gael Garcia fan. (even though he was in the worst movie I've ever seen, Blindness, but that was no fault of his)

I think we've all seen this poster already but it bears repeating for the new thread:

Dissapointed Owl fucked around with this message at 18:51 on Feb 13, 2012

# ¿ Feb 13, 2012 18:29

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Darthemed posted:

Yeah, there's simply no way that any movie could've lived up to what's being depicted here.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2012 19:37

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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Man, Barcode's kid has really come a long way :unsmith:

# ¿ Feb 15, 2012 16:36

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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No, you're right Warner Brothers. That's way too classy.

Ah, now that's better.

Dissapointed Owl fucked around with this message at 14:34 on Sep 27, 2012

# ¿ Feb 16, 2012 14:50

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 22:43

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
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kiimo posted:

I know everyone hates floating heads for some reason but there is nothing wrong with this Blu-ray cover.

Why do people want to keep using the same old design when you can create new ones?

I like showing the other two stars in this. By the way, it is MGM not Warner Bros.

Nope, it's Warner Bros. in the UK.

The US version is MGM and has this cover:

Which is much better.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2012 19:50

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