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Dropping stuff, especially something that isn't easily picked up, like a stack of papers that were organized, or a plate that is now broken. Man, gently caress gravity.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 19:33 |
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| # ? Jun 18, 2013 04:46 |
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Any time someone posts a photo of themselves online (e.g. on forums in the watch and weight section) and states something along the lines of "excuse/pardon the..." or "ignore the..." or "sorry in advance for..." about some trivial thing like a dirty mirror or a messy room or something.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 19:33 |
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Soviet Commubot posted:On a similar note I hate when people try to over-gallicize words that don't require it. Michel Roux Jr does this all the time. He has a bit of an excuse, being from a French family, but he was born in England. Whenever he mentions any sort of French recipe he slips into his french-recipe accent to pronounce it : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy8q_gZR4qU
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 19:44 |
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'Brain fart' Using those two words side by side should be a crime. The proper term for a mental error is brain cramp.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 19:58 |
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Stoatbringer posted:Michel Roux Jr does this all the time. He has a bit of an excuse, being from a French family, but he was born in England. Whenever he mentions any sort of French recipe he slips into his french-recipe accent to pronounce it : He seems to only do it when he's actually saying things in French. There are certain things, usually having to do with but not always, that some anglophones try to say with a French accent (or what they imagine that to be at any rate) rather than treating it like an English word. A good example would be "consommé" which should be pronounced "ay" at the end in English but there's no reason to attempt a nasal French "n" in the middle. If you're bilingual I understand making mistakes sometimes. I live in France and French is what I speak at home but the anglophones I usually hear doing this, both back in the States and here, are just being pretentious.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 20:05 |
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The "how are you doing" exchange by people who don't know each other. Every exchange will either be "how are you doing today" with the asking person usually not even waiting for a response or if there is a response it is always "fine and you?" with the second response being "fine" in the most deadpan tone. It's incredibly obvious nobody gives a poo poo about how the other person is doing and even if somebody does give a poo poo you're not going to find out by asking since the response you get will almost always be "fine." I wish this didn't piss me off so much since everyone does it.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 20:13 |
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bear is driving! posted:People who walk on their toes or the balls of their feet. You probably know someone like this. When they walk, their heels never touch the ground. It looks they are forever falling forward when they walk. I can't help it and my feet hurt all the time and I wish I could stop 
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 20:24 |
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I work in a pizza place. We used to take checks, but if the checks were bad, we would actually lose money (with delivery drivers coming and going all the time and getting checks, and the TeleCheck charging us if we scanned a bad check, etc), so we stopped about a year and a half ago. So from now on, when on the phone, we have to tell customers we don't take checks. And since this is a locally owned place, I get gems like this: "Oh, I can use a check. I know [owners name]". (That's nice. I'm the GM and I can't even pay for stuff with a check here.) "I've been a regular customer for years". (Thanks. We appreciate the business and the loyalty, but you can't pay with a check either.) And, my favorites (I got these when I used to take deliveries): "You mean I had to call in the credit card stuff? Why can't you scan it here?" "No. You'll just try to steal my identity!" "Can I give you my order now and you put it in when you get back?" "I'll tip you next time, promise!" "Can I just pay double next week? I order all the time!" "I'm sorry you had to come out in this weather!" (then don't order pizza, bitch!) "Hi! I'm sorry it's all in change!" "It usually takes 30 minutes to get here. Why did it take 45?" (because you're not our only customer) "Oh I'm sorry. I should've told you there wasn't room to turn around!" "I think I gave you an extra 5. Can I have it back?" "Yeah. I bet it sucks with gas prices going up" (no tip). This one is my all time favorite. I live in the mountains, and when it snows and the roads get icy, we don't go off the main roads or up the mountains for obvious reasons. Last year, a customer called requesting delivery. To the very top of a mountain up several winding, gravel roads. When she told me the address, I apologized and told her we couldn't deliver up there, the liability was too high. She got pissed and started yelling saying poo poo like "Well why the hell do you think I ordered delivery?!" and "I'm gonna sue your entire company!" (we're a chain. not a well known chain, but we still have a corporate office). She hung up and 30 minutes later I got a call from someone in the corporate office telling me to block that womans number and get a restraining order against her.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 20:26 |
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Ending a sentence with "just sayin" is the worst, especially when it's someone's mom trying to sound hip. Stop beginning each sentence with basically, it makes you sound like a smug rear end in a top hat. Thanks for breaking it down for us.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 20:35 |
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Seeing a piece of hair in any place that isn't your food (counter-top, desk, table, whatever) and immediately flipping out and/or exclaiming how "disgusting" it is. Something about it really just makes me upset. It's just hair, dude.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 20:52 |
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Vigilance posted:When I get a banana to eat and it's crunchy, or when I get one to eat, and it tastes really sour. I have this problem with clementines, or nectarines, or whatever they're called - the small oranges. The squishing test doesn't work either, cos even if they're soft, sometimes they still taste off. It's quite rare that you get one that tastes like it's supposed to. This one's horrible, but when old people or little children take longer to get off the train, due to their age or size. I KNOW they can't help it, but having to wait those couple of seconds longer always really annoys me. Also, lecturers who, after years of teaching in the same classrooms, still can't figure out basic technological problem solving, and always rely on students to help them with the computer or beamer or whatever. For fucks sake, have the technician or whoever give you a crash course!
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 21:00 |
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I get enraged by other people having trivial arguments. It's weird, I try to avoid arguments or defuse them when I can, but seeing two people argue about pointless poo poo really bothers me.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 21:45 |
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MadRhetoric posted:I get enraged by other people having trivial arguments. It's weird, I try to avoid arguments or defuse them when I can, but seeing two people argue about pointless poo poo really bothers me. In that case, I recommend you never use the internet. 
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 21:51 |
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Mispronouncing a word when I've only ever seen it in text. I know what it means; I may have used it half a dozen times before, but I still feel like the ripest idiot when it comes out of my mouth wrong. The word "autumnal" is more difficult than you'd like to think. That one snowpile that inevitably gathers to the side of every bus stop in the city. You know: the dirty grey one, cobbled with the butts of the thousand smokers who have come before. The one that melts into an asphalt-coloured soup of filth come springtime. The one that every bus and streetcar driver inevitably, perhaps instinctively pulls up right in loving front of, so the hurried commuter has no choice but to step over or into. The one that always sends its hideous feelers into boots or up pant legs no matter how careful a person might be. The rage isn't directed at the smokers themselves, actually, but rather the obsessives who fear that ashtrays in public spaces send out invisible mind-control rays that instantly and irrevocably spark pack-a-day habits in any who see them. I understand the annoyance if the smoker is rude or oblivious of their habit (like holding a lit smoke at the height of a child's face)... but I've met people who got annoyed at people smoking outside. Not immediately in front of the only entrance to a building; not at a critical intersection where large portions of population have to pass. On benches. In parks. Most smokers are good about adhering to restrictions, as the habit IS a noxious one and it's hardly a problem to stand outside for five minutes or move a few steps to the side so the smoke-stream doesn't fly up a neighbor's nostrils. But the thing with courtesy is that it can't be one-sided, and both smokers and non-smokers tend to see these regulations as a rights issue. Smokers don't have the right to smoke inside buildings that do not specifically permit it. Non-smokers don't have the "right to clean air"; if you drive a car or consume any mass-manufactured product, congratulations! You've added to the global decline in air quality! Where it gets REALLY infuriating is when non-smokers respond to a smoker's balking or complaints about the increasing amount of restrictions placed on their habit with "Well, just quit smoking!". Yeah. Because it's just that easy. I have quit smoking; it's a grueling process and one that will fail if you're doing it for an exterior reason, like the incessant pestering of smug fuckerheads who assume to know your life and experience better than you do. Y'now what does help? Distraction. Something to occupy the brain and the hands, so that you aren't thinking of the fact that it'd be really nice to have a cigarette right now. If you care enough about a smoker's health, spend a few afternoons with them, doing something that takes a number of consecutive hours and occupies a large amount of brainspace in that time (board game night, maybe?). But that takes energy, and pithy commentary permits the exact same level of self-satisfaction.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 21:53 |
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People who say "whenever" when they mean "when." "Whenever I was ten years old living with my mom in St. Louis we would..." "Orientate" instead of reorient or just oriented. Looking at you Bear Grylls.  treiz01 posted:American pronunciations of the words "radiator" and "foyer" drive me absolutely batshit. Especially foyer, which makes anyone pronouncing the r at the end sound like the most uncultured idiot ever. It's a French word, people. "Foy-ay" please! This is debatable depending on where you live. http://forthright.livejournal.com/151045.html
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 21:59 |
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There is a correct way to eat an apple. I once thought this was common knowledge, but apparently it isn't. You takes bites out of the middle first, moving clockwise (and thus rotating the apple counter-clockwise), to make a band completely around the apple like the equator. After each bite, be sure to scrape out the bite hole so that you don't have to revisit areas you've already covered and expose your face to apple-flesh. Then, still working clockwise, take bites of the bottom of the apple by putting your top teeth underneath the 'cliff' you've created and 'flipping' it open. Rotate the apple, and do the same for the top. You are then free to remove any excess. This is the only correct method.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 22:02 |
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I hate urinating with an erection. It makes aiming all but impossible, and then my wang inevitably does that whole "showerhead with a few clogged holes" thing right as the stream is dying down. This neccessitates that I, a grown man, wipe up my errant urine from the toilet seat, the floor, or (in rare instances) the side of the vanity. THIS DISPLEASES ME.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 22:11 |
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I like to face away from the toilet and try to arc the stream over my shoulder. Just as hard to aim, but at least you're having fun. On the other hand, I've never had the showerhead effect happen due to an erection.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 22:18 |
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YamSack Agonistes posted:I hate urinating with an erection. It makes aiming all but impossible, and then my wang inevitably does that whole "showerhead with a few clogged holes" thing right as the stream is dying down. This neccessitates that I, a grown man, wipe up my errant urine from the toilet seat, the floor, or (in rare instances) the side of the vanity. THIS DISPLEASES ME. Buy a funnel like a normal human being.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 22:26 |
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The other day, someone tried to tell me that sharks weren't fish and that they were descended from the dinosaurs. I may have over-reacted to it, but "Come on man! You're 56! You should know better!" The more I hear people talk about prehistoric life and animal biology in general, the more it makes me want to teach kids about it so they don't wind up as stupid as their parents.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 23:10 |
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My roommate always puts his dirty dishes right next to the sink rather than in the sink. Come on man we've been over this.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 23:25 |
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Oncogene posted:Fancy parkers. You spend all that time carefully backing your car into a parking space probably spending more time than you would have to back out when you leave. Because it's SO important to save those precious few seconds when you eventually leave the parking lot. You've been outed on this site, haven't you?  http://www.youparklikeacunt.com/ (even the URL is NWS) Having contributed to that site, I think it's safe to say that I get annoyed by crappy parkers. I like getting annoyed by trivial things, though, it lets me vent and not get hung up on big things that matter. YamSack Agonistes posted:I hate urinating with an erection. It makes aiming all but impossible, and then my wang inevitably does that whole "showerhead with a few clogged holes" thing right as the stream is dying down. This neccessitates that I, a grown man, wipe up my errant urine from the toilet seat, the floor, or (in rare instances) the side of the vanity. THIS DISPLEASES ME. Then do what sensible men do when they have to piss with a stiffy, and sit down to do it. It's not the first stage in gender reassignment surgery, don't worry.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 23:30 |
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It really bothers me when I'm in the passenger seat and the driver is circling around waiting for a close parking spot, instead of just pulling into one halfway up the parking lot. We're going to spend the next half hour walking around a store anyway, why waste all that time to save yourself from another 15 seconds of walking? My dad does this, and then looks at me and says his catchphrase: "They always leaves me one  ". No, no they do not. Nessa posted:The other day, someone tried to tell me that sharks weren't fish and that they were descended from the dinosaurs. Someone once tried to argue to me that birds are not animals. I think they were confusing "animals" with "mammals".
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| # ? Jan 21, 2012 23:41 |
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jazzyhattrick posted:This enrages me, If Americans want to spell stuff incorrectly then that's their business, languages evolve differently in different places and I guess we can keep the OED kill teams stood down for minor infractions like leaving the u out of doughnut. But to have the nerve to openly mock us for spelling things correctly in our own language? This will not stand! Only two things send me into a rage about American English. 1. Pronouncing 'clique' as 'click'. IT'S FRENCH. DO YOU SAY 'CLICHE' AS 'CLITCH'? PREPARE TO DIE. 2. When American goons mock other goons for using the word 'whilst', saying it's pretentious, not realising it is in fact just British English. PREPARE TO DIE. On a semi-related matter, the world's total misunderstanding of the British idea of 'tea' never fails to disappoint me. I have been abroad so many times and asked if I want a cup of tea "just like home" only to be handed a cup of black Earl Grey. YOU HAVE MISSED THE POINT ENTIRELY. PREPARE TO DIE.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 00:05 |
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Poor phone etiquette. If I answer the phone and hear "is so-and-so there," I'm going to hang up on you. The pronunciation of words like "whip" with the "h" in front. Hwip? Hwale? People who use vernacular without providing context, especially when they know the majority of everyone listening is from an entirely different country and won't understand. Overly-complimentary people. Is your self esteem so bad that you have to constantly tell everyone around you how amazing they are? I know you're fishing - knock it off. When I do something that anyone could do if they just spent time learning how to do it, and they tell me "I could never do that," gently caress you, it's not hard, just try it. It's not magic. Jesus. People who tell me to calm down when I'm perfectly calm. I might be using strong language, but am I emotional? No. Am I loud? No. Am I stressed? No. I'm calm. People who don't notice when they have food on their face. How can they not FEEL that?  Edit: People who bag on something by saying it's gross or dumb, just because they have a different opinion. "Ewwww, why would anyone like coffee?" or "You think so-and-so's pretty? What's wrong with you?" What are you - five? It's possible to dislike a thing and not insult the people who do like it.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 00:05 |
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Stoatbringer posted:Buy a funnel like a normal human being. I'm afraid the guy at the auto parts store would...know. Like, I would pretend the funnel was for an oil change or a radiator flush...but his accusing stare would see right through my lies. Then, with a lascivious glance at my fuckpackage, he would invite me to his place for some piss play. I would then have to politely explain to him that while flattered, my bread is buttered the other way. I would feel just horrible having to shun his advances.  In that kind of situation, would say, a consolatory handjob (gloved) be an appropriate course of action?Also, I really hate movie theater popcorn "butter". It is just orange oil. There is no butter to speak of in it.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 00:12 |
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People who sing along to music (but don't know the lyrics)
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 00:18 |
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It drives me nuts when anybody (it's almost always a male for some reason) walks around whistling tunelessly. The worst is when they put vibrato on it like they're trying to sound like a goddamn chimney sweep in Mary Poppins. Makes me want to slap the goddamn teeth out of their head.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 00:20 |
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My name is Jared. When I worked as a cashier at Panera, practically half the people who saw my nametag cracked a joke along the lines of "Hey, why aren't you working at Subway?" or "I thought you owned a jewelry store, what're you doing here?" I get these jokes a lot when meeting people in general. It was not funny the first ten thousand times I heard it and it is not funny now. I will end you. (I go into apoplectic fits whenever Jared's Galleria of Jewelry commercials come on for similar reasons. "They went to Jared!  "  )
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 00:30 |
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People who beat around the bush or who are indirect with what they want to say. Just say it already. I know what you want already so just shut up and and say it.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 00:46 |
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Oh man, just thought of some more: People who act shocked and/or dumbfounded that I don't like exactly what they like. Two big ones are seafood and football (American). I've had people treat me like I was some kind of terrifying yet fascinating otherworldly creature upon learning of this. Jesus louise christ I don't go around freaking out if I find out someone hasn't played Oblivion or has an aversion to tacos. I absolutely do not get these people. People who stare. I can't even imagine what's going on in the head of someone who stares at strangers like a slack-jawed retard. I don't think I want to know.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 00:52 |
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I hate people who use "we" when asking questions to another person.  How are we today? Well, I am doing okay and you are an annoying stinkyhole. So, technically, you would need to find the mathematical average of "okay" and "annoying stinkyhole" in order to find out most accurately how "we" are doing.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 00:57 |
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-when people tailgate me in traffic, floor it and go around me, then slide in in front of me just to loving slam on brakes and turn the very instant they get in front of me. I WILL KILL THEM. -at work (I am a cashier), if people don't want something, instead of handing it to me, they leave it down at the very end, near where the check-out starts. It's like they're afraid to tell me they don't want something. I've found tons of poo poo, including things like eggs, ice cream, fresh chickens, milk, things that go bad and spoil and we have to throw away and it adds to shrink. Not like I care, but it really pisses me off.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 01:05 |
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Elephantgun posted:Seeing a piece of hair in any place that isn't your food (counter-top, desk, table, whatever) and immediately flipping out and/or exclaiming how "disgusting" it is. Something about it really just makes me upset. It's just hair, dude. My mother does this, and the hair is always slightly curled and therefore she flips out because she thinks it's a pubic hair. No poo poo it's curled, it's in hot food.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 01:07 |
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Unsubtle sexual innuendo in the program names for WWE/MMA and other wrassling shows. The homoerotic subtext is pretty in your face without calling it MMA Heat or WWE Raw, or TNA or whatever the gently caress. I'd rather watch straight up gay porn than have the nagging feeling that thousands of men and boys are watching this poo poo and JO parties are breaking out across the southeast.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 01:17 |
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Daeren posted:(I go into apoplectic fits whenever Jared's Galleria of Jewelry commercials come on for similar reasons. "They went to Jared! I came here to post something else but saw this and I have to say that I once had an English teacher who taught the word apoplectic but pronounced it as a-POP-lec-tic instead of the correct apˇoˇplecˇtic. With way too much emphasis on the POP. It drove me up the wall and I corrected her several times but I was "just her student", what did I know?  The reason I came here though is because I work at a popular toy store and I loving HATE IT when people let their kids grab whatever their little hearts desire and carry it around all the way to the registers and then tell ME that they don't want to get it for the kid. Then I have to look like the bad guy while the parent just stands there and lets their kid scream "BUT I WAAAAANT IIIIT!!! loving man up and tell your children No. Also when people bring me a whole cart full of stuff to ring up and then (upon hearing the total) decide they don't need all that crap and want me to take half of it off item-by-item telling them the new total after each toy. "Sorry, I only have $100 on me. Haha " Well you should have shopped appropriately. Or even just telling me right off "I decided not to get this, this, this and this can you put it all back for me?" Why can't you walk over to the isle you got it from and put it back yourself? Or better yet, not have picked it up in the first place if you didn't want it! My job is to ring people up and keep the line moving, not stop what I'm doing to go restock the shelves of stuff you decided you would bring me. I was walking around the store one day straightening and a woman comes up to me, shoves a doll into my hands and says: "How much is this?" "Well I'm not sure off the top of my head, lets go over to this price scanner on the NEXT ISLE." "Oh, it's $5.99" "Ok thanks" and she walked off leaving me standing there with the doll in my hand. 
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 01:19 |
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Strangers who ask you questions when you have headphones in and there are, like, three other people standing near you who do not have headphones in. Guys who think that saying filthy things really quickly and under their breath as they pass by you in the street is sexy. Self-proclaimed "fag hags" who get really excited whenever they meet a gay guy because they think they have just made a brand new friend 4-ever! People who "help" you use subway ticket machines and then demand a tip. When people don't stand in line, but sort of wander in and out. When I tell people I'm married, and they immediately ask me how old I am with a shocked look on their face. For one, I'm 27, and two, is it anyone's loving business? Morbidly obese girls wearing Spandex outfits to show how extremely sexy they think they are. People who consider typefaces to be a universally appealing conversation topic. Vegans and vegetarians who won't shut the gently caress up about how TOTALLY AWESOME they are and how all their choices are important. The words "tummy," "turd," "Spanx," "wicker," and "Jamba Juice." Going to the designer resale store and seeing a rack full of Forever 21 rejects. When they're fundraising for the blind Canadians or whatever and the people holding the clipboards get all abusive and shouty when you politely refuse them.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 01:27 |
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Whenever I see the name Michael spelled "Micheal", I silently wish for an asteroid to obliterate every man, woman, and child on this earth.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 01:34 |
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I hate when I'm doing the dishes and finally get through all the silverware only to discover that there's ladles, tongs or spoons hiding in pots or serving dishes that I have yet to clean.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 01:36 |
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| # ? Jun 18, 2013 04:46 |
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Tragedy Sherbert posted:I hate when I'm doing the dishes That's more like it.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2012 01:40 |
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