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ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
As I'm sure most of you are aware, the 2012 Republican primary season has, from the beginning, been a circus of batshit insanity and eye-gouging. There's Mitt Romney supporters pushing him into the lead based on his moderate past, and everyone else who hates him. After this little chestnut came out of the recent debate:





I decided to make this based on that sort of weird, nervous laughter:





Now let's take a little gander from the Romney's side, D&D style.



EDIT: (fixed the timing)


So let's go at it, guys! This year is going to be every bit as horrible and insane as 2008, so we might as well celebrate the occasion with funny gifs. :patriot:

Personally I use Microsoft Gif Animator... kinda clunky, but it's free. I'm far from an expert, but I can still make a halfway decent little animation with it. Photoshops are welcome too.

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ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

WilfordBrimley posted:



Hahaha holy poo poo these are real quotes from those newsletters? They're worse than I ever could've imagined.



MildManeredManikin posted:

Plenty of people have killed a thread by posting an image that can't be beaten but I think this is the first time it has happened in the OP.

:ohdear:



Saveron_01 posted:

http://i.imgur.com/8riYJ.gif

Edit: I think I missed the point of the thread, but hell, it was an idea and I went with it.

I'd plant a little American flag on the Death Star, personally. :)

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Saveron_01 posted:

done and done.

http://i.imgur.com/gZlM8.gif

loving beautiful.

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Nastyman posted:

My humble contribution


e: fixed name

Oh GOD! Birdcage reference!!!

I love you forever, Nastyman.

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Tupperwarez posted:

Great GIF! As an aside, did you get the brickwork and background from that game, The Dark Eye? Christ what a creepy game that was.

I just did a google image search, really. Though I DID play The Dark Eye once and it was awesome. :)

I'm working on another gif now since another idea popped into my head. Keep 'em coming! :v:

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Okay here's a fresh one from the horrible depths of my worst nightmares.

Image:



EDIT: Watermarked!

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Kithrixx posted:

I'm not sure if I should be amazed or terrified. You weren't kidding when you said the horrible depths of your worst nightmares. Either way, went hog wild.

It's basically what happens when the dick-measuring contest of "who's the more patriotic candidate, and hence the best candidate" snowballs into something horrible.

Nationalism is so drat stupid and creepy. :colbert:

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Dre2Dee2 posted:

It's like you have a god given gift :stonk:

I have a few more ideas bouncing around in my head, and I might work on a few more gifs to help me relax between work. I'll wait until others have the chance to post their own before stuffing more of my junk here though. ;)

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Ratatozsk posted:

Have you given any thought to throwing watermarks into these? The chance of them ending up elsewhere isn't too small, and I'd like to see credit given where credit's due then.

Good idea. I'll go through all the gifs that have been submitted and stick an SA logo in the corner of the last frame later.

I did a little research a while back and it turns out that other sites stole that old Lord of the Rings Catapult gif, and stuck their own logos on 'em. For shame! :colbert:

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Raskolnikov2089 posted:



He is Vigo!

And they defeated him by spraying him down with happy-bukkake. :stare:

Seriously though this is goddamn beautiful.

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Au Revoir Shosanna posted:

ON A MOUNTAIN OF SKULLS IN A CASTLE OF PAIN I SAT ON A THRONE OF BLOOD

(hope you don't mind I added a little something)

Holy poo poo! :aaa:

I'm so flabbergasted I don't know what the hell to say. I've just been staring at my screen for the last 60 seconds with my mouth open.

EDIT: Aaah now I know why it's so hypnotic:

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Less wacky, and tons of :words:, so it probably isn't that funny. But hey, time to celebrate the events of this Tuesday!

I am aware of the typos, I'll fix them later. :)

Right here.

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

cbservo posted:

:golfclap: I am in awe, sir. Never stop, please. the brown smudge at the end is PERFECT.

Sadly I didn't quite know how to make it glossy.

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
This is seriously starting to become a new hobby of mine.


Image:

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Thunderfinger posted:

It's beautiful! :qq:

Into the Mouth of Madness.

Literally! :v:

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

MildManeredManikin posted:

I'm growing concerned for your health ShadowCatBoy.

Like, mentally? :tinfoil:

Also, don't suppose anyone noticed that I used ComicSans for Victoria's lines? :v:

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Well this thread has pretty much turned into a one-man show by now. I'm thinking of doing a little series throughout the election season, but does anyone know of what's an appropriate thread I might post in instead of this one?

I'm thinking the Political Cartoon thread...

Anyway, here's the last few right now.

Part 1








Part2


ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
It's nearing Valentines day, so they all probably have hot dates to prep for. :(

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Penguissimo posted:

Who the hell is going to top any of ShadowCatboy's creations??

Honestly, this is exactly what I think when I see other goons' photoshops and gifs and such. I still snicker over this brilliant piece of animation.

Also I didn't realize we got frontpaged oh Jesus. :ohdear:

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Oof. Well all right. But everyone should still feel free to post stuff of their own!

Here's parts 3 and 4. After slapping the background images together it's actually a simple task to write up a script and animate it.

Part 3








Part 4


ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Nuclear Spoon posted:

I do not understand D&D in the bloody slightest, but these are hilarious nonetheless. Go you!

Nerd stuff ahead:

Basically, you know how back in the day you had video games like Super Mario Bros where you had three lives and whatever you could pick up to get through a game? No save points, no mods or cheats or cheats or permanent power-ups to carry around. Games were more tests of endurance and skill rather than something anyone could win if they hammered at it long enough. Success was more about how far you could go than hitting a certain benchmark after enough hours.

Dungeons and Dragons was the same. It was bare-bones and merciless, and Gary Gygax (the original designer for D&D) earned a reputation for making modules that were exceedingly deadly due to trickery and guile on the game's part.

The Tomb of Horrors was basically the worst of them, originally designed by Gygax because he kept getting players who thought they were hot poo poo and could handle anything the DM threw at them. ToH became infamous for being a player graveyard. The combat encounters weren't hard individually, it's more the fact that the traps were totally designed to gently caress you, with no real warning and no do-overs. Mostly, players died because they're by nature curious and want to comb over every door and portal because there might be treasure.

There was a one-way portal that would lead you to a 10x10 foot room in the plane of elemental earth where you were essentially trapped forever, for example. A statue mouth that had a Sphere of Annihilation on the other end which disintegrates everything it touches. And some sort of horrible lava pit trap.

And yet curious players still demand their DM run them through it to see what it's like. Then blame him afterward for loving the party over.

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Gettin' ready for the next set of primaries!

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

jojoinnit posted:

Hell even the snacks feel right. Newt has a tankard of Mountain Dew and Santorum has completely plain potato chips.

Hey I was wondering if people would notice!

I also gave Cain root beer and some pizza-flavored Pringles, but it's really hard to see. Thinking about it now, I'll try to put in some salt-and-vinegar chips for Gingrich. Somehow it fits.

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Mitsuo posted:

I love how Ron Paul's character trained under a Grand Wizard.

Ha! I think that's the last little reference I stuck in. :)


Anyway, here's the next set (click to open in new window):

Part 6







Part 7







Part 8

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
This is going to be one of those pieces that'll make me mortified if Rachel Maddow ever saw it.





She's so nice and cheery like a kindergarten teacher, and here I come with a Herman Cain penis joke.

Anyway last one of the week. I cribbed this from a story about a friend's game.

EDIT: Note for non-nerds:

Ring of the (Battering) Ram: Punches someone hard for as much as 3-18 damage, depending how many charges you expend.

Cleave: An ability that some characters choose that gives them a free attack to an adjacent enemy when they kill someone in melee.

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Darkwing_Duck posted:

The line about the magistrates not knowing who to blame about the fires has me struggling not to laugh. Its a shame Colbert is off the air for a bit, he would go crazy. I think you need to move into flash videos.

Yeah doesn't Colbert play D&D?

Anyway, I'll try to make this a weekly thing. Plan out the script here and there over the week and fix up the gifs on the weekends. :)

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Welp here's a one-off before the weekend.





Coming up: When D&D deals with abortions. I'm trying my best to make it tasteful. :ohdear:

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Yawgmoth posted:

This may be of interest to you. Yes, a book all about weird D&D half-breeds. Have fun.

Half-beholders. And half blink dogs + half-halflings. The dynamics of these mating scenarios terrifies me. :stare:

It's hilarious to see how far you can take things when you put goons together with tabletop games. Last I heard about FATAL (you know, the indie system that'll list everything from cock length, nipple diameter, head circumference, and maximal dilation of orifices in an attempt to make "the most realistic game ever"), a bunch of goons decided to run a game. This ended up with them sticking their heads in other players' vaginas and wearing each other as hats.

The mental image still makes me laugh.

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

MarsDragon posted:

ShadowCatboy, I loved your incredible posts about Chinese history and culture in the Avatar thread, and you continue to top yourself here. Never, ever stop.

Thanks! I had a super special post all prepped but the thread seems kinda dead in the water. Oh well.

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Gilliam II posted:

Also, if you go by Dragonlance canon, Halflings, or "Kender" in that universe, are known as a race of people who do not believe in property as we know it, have zero concept of fear, and have a great curiosity. This combined with their natural abilities as pickpockets, and Ron's not gonna have his gold in his pocket for long.
Ugh. I'm such a nerd.

That and halflings in general are specifically kitted out to make for great rogues.

Anyway I was going to work on these and post them tomorrow, but I just finished them up today. I may tweak the timings later:

Part 11







Part 12







Part 13

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Sigma-X posted:

I think Rick Santorum is an rear end in a top hat too and his overly dogmatic-to-the-point-of-insanity approach distasteful as well, but I liked the other ones better. They were more amusing and less "hey Rick Santorum is a huge dumb rear end in a top hat" which isn't very fresh or unique since he makes it clear himself every time he opens his mouth.

If you make more of these please kill his loving character or something, everyone else is awesome but you're either not writing him well or he doesn't lend himself to caricature well.

Literally every frame without him is great.

That's fair. I'm trying to keep things topical when it comes to current events, but I'll admit that this one probably got a bit too heavy-handed. Still, there's no shortage of crazy out there, I was just trying to give every one of them a chance to shine.

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Part 14







Part 15

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Lars Blitzer posted:

Um, something very much like this happened during a 2nd edition game I was in.:stare: Goddam...

Oh this I gotta hear. :)

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Lars Blitzer posted:

:words:

Ahaha oh good god that is uncanny. The next gif is already written up and the images prepped, I just need to animate it. There's gonna be another little parallel to what you mentioned here. :)

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
I gotta admit, I'm a little surprised that there's this amount of interest in my silly gifs. In any case, part 16!

Linky

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Don't worry, I've got an arc centered around him planned, he's just on the backburner for a little while. :)

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Brother Jonathan posted:

I assume that you know of the famous death of Frederick Barbarossa during the Third Crusade?

The emperor was leading the forces of the Holy Roman Empire to the Holy Land, but he drowned when crossing a river. The emperor's son put the body in a cask of vinegar and told the soldiers and knights that the emperor would continue to lead them on to victory. The German contingent didn't like the idea of being led into battle by a pickle, and they deserted.

The son, Frederick VI, wanted to take the emperor on to Jerusalem, but the body didn't keep. The skin and muscles were buried in Antioch, the bones in Tyre, and the internal organs made it as far as Tarsus.

That's pretty awesome. I'll have to look him up sometime.

What I was thinking about when I first made this was actually Qin Shi Huang Di, the First Emperor of China. He died while he was touring China, so to hide the stench of his body they carted around rotting fish in front of and behind his carriage since it was summer. Not to mention those old urban legends of the dead guy being preserved in wine, though apparently it's not all that much of a legend!



Elijya posted:

Will we ever see other personalities? Perhaps Bachman at some point?

I've been thinking about it. Five players is the uppermost limit of how many I can handle and it's almost too busy already. But I have definitely been thinking of including either Palin or Bachmann as a guest player when one of them goes on vacation or something, mainly because someone else mentioned that this is getting to be a bit of a sausagefest. :v:

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Part 17







Part 18

ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Pharmaskittle posted:

Even adventuring parties run by totally reasonable players are sort of sociopaths.

Well they make a living murdering people without due process, looting their bodies, and leaving the corpses to rot in the sun.

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ShadowCatboy
Jan 22, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
I'll try to get another couple done by tonight or tomorrow. I've scripts written up for another couple weeks or so, at least. :)