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There's a goldmined thread where goons shared stories about the batshit insane kids they went to elementary school with and it always gives me a laugh, so let's have another go at it. In kindergarten, this irritating little girl who was always in trouble decided it'd be a good idea to get a giant mouthful of water from the fountain and spit it all down the teacher's back. She tried to claim she'd just thrown up or something dumb like that. There was also this kid in 5th grade named David who decided a younger kid was being a douche and proceeded to drag him around by his ear for the entirety of recess one day. I think he went away for a few days after that. We also did this week-long field trip at a camp and David spent most of the week singing the semi-annoying "ow, owoooo" part from this Our Lady Peace song. Have at it, goons.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 00:51 |
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| # ? May 18, 2013 20:57 |
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This kid cornered me in the bathroom in 2nd grade. I pushed him out of the way and went back to class. A few minutes later the teacher came up and asked me why I hit this kid in the bathroom. He tried to pick a fight, and then tattled on me! Later in the year he was harassing a girl and she stabbed him with her pencil. The teacher told him he was going to get lead poisoning. I knew better, but I didn't say anything. 
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 00:55 |
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There was a much more recent thread too that got goldmined, anyone have a link to it? I'm afraid we'll get repeats of all the stories in that thread.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 00:56 |
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In fourth or fifth grade, one of my classmates got suspended for having cat poo poo in his backpack.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 01:08 |
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My elementary school was old. We had those giant radiator heaters. In the winter time the boys would piss on it to see the steam. The bathroom would be choked with piss steam. Ahh, youth.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 01:13 |
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One girl in my 5th or 6th grade class tried to peer pressure me into eating cigarette butts with her. I remember looking on in horror as she chewed on them and thinking that peer pressure was supposed to be much more glamorous than this...
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 01:17 |
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A popular game at lunch was the penis game. You know, you have to keep saying it louder than the other person. I was playing it with my friend and it got pretty loud until it was my turn. I wondered how much effort I should put into this when a kid behind me, sitting at a different table, loving screamed out "PENNISSSS!!" at the top of his lungs and drew it out for a few seconds. Half the lunchroom went quiet and this kid slowly turns around with the most poo poo eating grin on his face. A teacher came and took him outside.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 01:27 |
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We had a special ed kid in our school who's parents liked to watch a lot of movies. One kind of movie they watched were your standard action/horrorish movies, like Tremors. At recess, he would run around with his hands in front of his head growling and snarling at people before lunging at them and grabbing on to them. He was a Tremor, you see, and and he thought that nobody could see him before he had tackled you to the ground. Because he was in special ed, none of the supervisor ladies at recess gave a poo poo if he was attacking random kids. He had a pass for doing anything. That's all fine and dandy, but unfortunately his parents also liked to watch another kind of movie with him. I can't name any specific titles in early 90s porn, so we can just leave it up to our imagination. Usually whenever he got anyone to the ground he would start humping whatever part of their body his crotch ended up lining up with. The worst part is that he would go after the same people every time, so their breaks ended up being nothing but retard surprise sex sessions. The only way they could avoid it was by staying on the sidewalk that ran beside our school, since Tremor kid decided that he couldn't tunnel through it. I don't think he was ever informed that roleplaying as a subterranean surprise sex worm wasn't okay. 
Giggily fucked around with this message at Jan 30, 2012 around 01:31 |
| # ? Jan 30, 2012 01:28 |
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The number one best day I had in Elementary School was the day that one special ed kid threw the record player at the gym teacher then and hour later got punched in the face by another special ed kid and lost some teeth. Later that afternoon special ed kid #2 threw a chair through the classroom window. Nothing was taught that day.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 01:39 |
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Yeet posted:A popular game at lunch was the penis game. You know, you have to keep saying it louder than the other person. I was playing it with my friend and it got pretty loud until it was my turn. I wondered how much effort I should put into this when a kid behind me, sitting at a different table, loving screamed out "PENNISSSS!!" at the top of his lungs and drew it out for a few seconds. Half the lunchroom went quiet and this kid slowly turns around with the most poo poo eating grin on his face. A teacher came and took him outside. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnWn6Wewuug
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 01:58 |
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Do you realize that most batshit crazy kids probably had terrible home lives? It's really sad to see you mock them. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 02:01 |
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In the second grade we had assigned, communal style seating, so we'd sit facing other students. I was forced to sit in front of this one kid, Jonathan, who spent all day kicking me under the chair. The first few times I was like "what are you doing stop that!" and he'd stop, but afterwards, he started kicking me harder. I told the teacher about it when I started to get bruised and couldn't explain it away like a battered little lady, but instead of looking under the table to see if he'd kick me, she just asked him straight out if he did, and of course he said no. Thankfully my parents moved and so I had to switch schools. I came across him years later, I knew it was him - I'd never forget that face of his - and he'd turned into a redneck, massive beer gut, mullet.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 02:04 |
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Talking Head posted:Do you realize that most batshit crazy kids probably had terrible home lives? It's really sad to see you mock them. What about the ones that didn't have terrible home lives?
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 02:06 |
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Giggily posted:I don't think he was ever informed that roleplaying as a subterranean surprise sex worm wasn't okay. Best band name ever. As for my school we had a kid get suspended for eating live goldfish at the school carnival.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 02:11 |
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We had a kid in our school who was like a pint sized Hercules, his strength pretty much unparalleled to anyone I've met since, I think he stopped growing at 4'5" or so, also he had anger issues. He usually wouldn't get into fights, he'd just hold his anger in until it bursts, were the slightest thing will set him off and the next thing you'd know there'd be something (or someone) broken. Notable outbursts: -After being called out for carving his name into his desk, he threw it (the desk) at the teacher, which she dodged, it hit the blackboard cracking it, note this is one of those desks with the chair built in. -Breaking someone's nose on a urinal for cutting in line to piss. -Pushing someone into an oncoming bus, which luckily stopped in time to cause no serious injuries. Most notable, our school had a rock wall built into the overhanging roof at the front of the building, some of the rocks being jagged, this area being the area kids stand around waiting for school to start. One day this kid was having a bad morning, he came in with a note that he was sick and was going to miss the day, on his way back to his parent's car a girl quite a few grades higher tripped him (purpose or accident I don't know), he was PISSED, normally he'd sock someone to the face for something like this, but being quite a bit older she was too tall, he climbed up the nearest person's back, reached out with his free hand, grabbed her face and just slammed her against the rock wall which pierced through her cheek and probably knocked some teeth out. Soon an ambulance was there and the kid got suspended for a really long time, but I remember one day when he was back he said to me "Want to see something cool?" and showed me the rock wall, "See, they never cleaned up all the blood." and sure enough it was stained. I smiled faintly, hoping I wasn't next.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 02:17 |
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Leon with a Zero posted:What about the ones that didn't have terrible home lives?
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 02:20 |
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I didn't go to school with him per se, but I did a placement in a grade eight class who's a future goon lord. He had the whole package, greasy hair, same sweat pants every day, poor hygiene, long fingernails...he was definitely the type who just wanted to sit by himself in the corner reading constantly, and he was really argumentative too. The class was invited to go see a play called Hannah's Suitcase, which is about a Jewish girl in WW2 since that was the history unit, and he wouldn't shut up about how much he hated plays and how bad he didn't want to go. I thought all kids didn't care what a field trip was as long as they were out of school v  vHe didn't do anything specifically crazy I guess, but yeah, definitely a future goonlord. Edit: As for the bad home life argument: When you're a kid you don't realize why someone might be weird. Maybe they have a learning disability, maybe they have a lovely home life, maybe they're....just weird. I don't think this thread is to say "haha, I can't believe this stupid fat retard did this dumb thing", it's I think to talk about the things that the weird kid in the class would do. No harm in that, we can't go back and change it now anyway. Toriori fucked around with this message at Jan 30, 2012 around 02:30 |
| # ? Jan 30, 2012 02:27 |
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Talking Head posted:Do you realize that most batshit crazy kids probably had terrible home lives? It's really sad to see you mock them. Greg also lived in a very nice house in a very nice part of town, and his parents had well-paying jobs. He had a father figure, and a mom with so much pull in our school that she screamed at the school administration once they didn't let him into the 'Gifted' (program for kids with above-average intelligence) despite the fact that he was barely scraping by in class until they yielded, just so his mom would quit interrupting the PTA meetings about her son's "right" to be placed in the program. It turns out that his parents were just permissive and thought that each and every one of his actions were precious. He was basically treated like an "Indigo child" before the term gained popularity. So, yeah. Greg didn't have what I'd consider a "terrible" home life, but that didn't stop him from being a nutjob. It's a more complex issue than you think. melon cat fucked around with this message at Jan 30, 2012 around 20:04 |
| # ? Jan 30, 2012 02:28 |
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The weirdest kid I knew in school was this girl named Amanda. I don't know why she wasn't instead with the special ed students; I guess she was just borderline enough not to qualify. She walked weirdly, like with a weird hop to her step; wore a cross made out of clothespins; and always serenaded us at library time with stories about her mother was "smacked" with a minivan. She was obnoxiously clingly, and smelled like she never washed or didn't know what a shower was. One day in science class, our teacher went out into the hallway because she got a phone call or something; I can't remember. Most of us continued working on our labs as usual, but then this weird rumour started spreading throughout the classroom about how Amanda had put rubbing alcohol into our teacher's drink (our teacher would always have a glass of water on her desk). When our teacher returned and sat us down to go over our lab, the class got eerily quiet as she put the drink up to her lips and took a long swig. She then immediately started choking and screaming that her throat was on fire. Ended up that Amanda had dumped the rubbing alochol used to clean the lab desks into her glass. The teacher immediately got rushed out to the hospital and everyone from the class had their turn being sent to the principal's office for questioning. Amanda ended up getting suspended and me and about seven other students got detention and community service for not saying anything to the teacher. I still think about that incident all the time. Our teacher was this nice elderly lady. Amanda was just psycho.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 02:28 |
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My parents both taught and I've worked in a school, so I'll probably be able to think of several crazies. Jamie started off as a fairly popular kid, even considered charming in second grade as he had the hot fashion statement of the era: a rat-tail. A couple of years later, he had developed his personality. There were challenges between the boys to mix their food together on their lunch tray and dare each other to eat it and he always took the challenge. Mix up anything. Jamie will try it. He also could roll his eyes so far back into his head that you could only see the whites of them.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 02:30 |
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Kindergarten was the year that a fat black girl chased me around the playground trying to hug me. To be fair, I was drat cute kid, but the teacher did nothing to stop this girl from chasing me around every single day at recess. Not exactly crazy, but terrifying for me nonetheless. In second grade there was a kid who was in the slow classes that, I swear to loving god, chased me around the playground sometimes pretending he was a vampire, trying to bite me so he could get to my sweet, sweet blood. Also there was the one day that everyone thought he was loving ridiculously stupid for wearing boxer shorts to school without anything over them. I guess he didn't get the memo that boxer shorts are not the equivalent of shorts and that they are, in fact, underwear. Looking back, and considering that one thread a few weeks back made by a terrible, terrible human being of a parent, it may be a possibility that he walked out the door and got on the bus while his parents were asleep. His parents being horrible people may have led to his developmental disabilities. That's all just a bullshit theory, but it's definitely plausible.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 02:35 |
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Wings of Mine posted:The weirdest kid I knew in school was this girl named Amanda. I don't know why she wasn't instead with the special ed students; I guess she was just borderline enough not to qualify. Special ed programs, at least in my school, had multiple "levels", if you could call them that. There was a classroom dedicated to students that needed full time care workers, which is probably what a lot of people think of when they think of special ed. Those were usually pretty small groups, though. The majority of the kids in the special ed program in my schools were at the least assigned "study skills" classes, which basically meant that you had to check in with your teachers every day while they made sure you did your homework. A lot of the time they end up doing the kid's homework for them, at least they did while I was there. Usually the kids in these classes are functional enough to actually attend school, but not without some extra help. And, since there can't be special education classes for every subject, a lot of them do have classes with everyone else. The Tremor kid in the story I mentioned earlier had Study Skills classes, was in a special math course, and took a special english class, and I imagine your Amanda was probably like this too. Then again, I don't think any of the psychotic kids I knew from grade school were ever really integrated into normal classes. At the same time, the "gifted" program already mentioned in this thread is also falls under special education, but at the opposite end of the spectrum. These kids are also usually hilariously hosed up and story worthy, if only because they have massive egos and at a young age are a lot smarter than they should be while still basically being grade schoolers.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 02:42 |
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In 5th grade a kid named Tyler brought a baseball bat to our school grounds and walked down the length of our entire classroom, smashing every single window. At the last window he pointed the bat inside towards the teacher/blackboard and yelled "YOOUUUUUU!!!!" and then noticed it was the wrong teacher or room and said "Oh...sorry Mrs. Whaley" and stormed off. He also used to draw this sign on his thumbnail area (he ripped out his nails with his teeth so there was no nail) and it was banned as a "gang sign" within the week- 
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 02:48 |
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This is the story of "No Poop!" (sorry it's so long, but I've been wanting to get this out of my system for a while) I went to a small school where every grade (except Kindergarten) was split. So the "Grade One" teacher was actually the "Grade 1+2" teacher, grade 3 teacher was the "3+4" teacher, etc. Every teacher but one in that school was pretty awesome in their own way. They were strict, but this resulted in us getting stuff done really fast, and that would usually result in us being able to do awesome projects (popsicle stick tree houses, scale models of castles, putting on plays to raise money for school trips, and even winter Olympics with real teams, tons of events, etc.). Anyway, that one teacher that wasn't great was the Grade 1+2 teacher. She was about 2-3 years away from retirement, and was burned out. She was old-school, "everything was learned by repetitive memorization" and any talking, or whatever resulted in yelling. One of her techniques was to have two kids work together, for the entire year. She would pick two kids from the same grade, and pair them up. The person you were assigned was stuck to you like glue for the rest of the year. Some of the luck ones got the girl or boy they had a crush on, some got friends, or best friends. . . I got "No Poop!" "No Poop" was a kid, a foster kid who stayed with a family who lived in a trailer with their two kids. You can imagine why they wanted to be foster parents, all that free space in their trailer, right? Nope, they were using that kid as a form of income by collecting a sweet government cheque to keep him. "No Poop" or as he was legally named "Tim" came from a pretty lovely situation I imagine, and landed in one probably just as lovely. He didn't talk much, was probably the victim of abuse from his real parents, and every lunch-hour would poo poo his pants. I got the "luck of the draw" and managed to get shackled to "No-Poop". He got the "No" part of his moniker because whenever asked "for" or "to do" something he would shout "NO!". For the rest of the year I had to sit uncomfortably close to him, share colouring materials, and books, and a lot of other unhygienic things. The worst thing was that the two desks that we used were not assigned specifically to one of us. We had to be in ONE of them, didn't matter which one. So if Tim were in one, I'd have to take the other. This doesn't sound like much of a problem, but it was. 1. Sitting in lovely pants can result in your body weight pushing the poo poo out through the fabric of the pants, depositing a light coating on the chair you are sitting on. 2. He would often check his pants (from the outside) to see if the poo poo had penetrated the fabric. If it hadn't, good. If it had, he'd get some on his fingers, smell it, and then wipe it on the bottom of the chair, under the desk, or on the inside of the desk. I'd ask if we could stick to the same seats for the rest of the year and he'd just yell, "Noooooo!" (he actually did yell it, and the teacher would always yell, "QUIET!!!" This didn't work since he'd still do it every single time) 3. He was damaged goods, in retrospect I feel really sorry for him and now know that, that bitch of a teacher really failed him, but "GOD"! Did my 6 year old mind hate that smelly bastard. If we were doing a colouring activity and I was using the red Crayon (remember we shared) he'd just clumsily grab at it, not ask, just grab for it out of my hands, in the process touching mine! To make matters worse, we shared all those crayons, pencils, rulers and scissors, so they were all coated in a thin layer of invisible poo poo. I'd ask him to not touch me, but he'd just yell, "Noooooo!" The worst was when I grabbed a crayon off the desk and it slipped out of my fingers. I picked it up again and noticed that there was a thick slippery film covering it. One whiff and I ran to the bathroom to wash my hands. This is when I also started bringing a box of baby wipes with me to class. Before I'd sit down I'd give the seat and top of the desk a good wipe and the pencil I'd be using for the rest of the class. I'd sometimes suggest that Tim wipe his hands with one but he'd just yell, "Noooo!" and the teacher would yell at him to be quiet and me to stop teasing him. The worst was hot dog day. The Grade 8's would bring a cart with one hot dog for each student. They'd even put the condiments you wanted on them for you because our Grade 1+2 hands were too clumsy to do it in a tidy or timely manner. So what's wrong here? The teacher would randomly pick a student from each pair to grab both hot dogs. I asked him to not touch my hot dog, instead using a napkin to carry it, but he'd just yell, "Noooo!" Needless so say I got in trouble for wasting a hot dog and finally ended up just letting Tim have mine if he was picked to get them. Now I know what you're asking, what the gently caress? How did this happen? Well the teacher like I said had pretty much checked out since she no longer liked teaching, but was just waiting for retirement. I complained to her and she just ignored me and told me I would be sent to the principals office if I continued to lie and tease a poor kid. I complained to my parents and the first time they just assumed a kid had an accident. When I started complaining every day (because he did in fact crap his pants every day) they called the principal. It was investigated and the principal (one whiff later) called the kid's foster parents. They said they knew about this, but there was nothing they could do. The principal told them to outfit him with a diaper before he came to school, but that only happened for about 2-3 weeks until they probably realized that diapers are expensive and this was cutting into their profit margin on the kid. In the end, my parents told the principal that me sitting with this kid was unacceptable since it was already showing in my school work, and my hands were now cracked because of my new frequent handwashing habit and addiction to wet-wipes. They also lectured the principal on the wonders of Hepatitis and I was moved to a group with two of my friends, and given my very own set of crayons, pencils, and everything else. That kid for the rest of the year never had a partner and just sat alone. I hated him, and thought it was his punishment for being so disgusting, but now I look back and feel awful about his situation. I had to endure that for 2 and a half months, and there was no danger of me being paired with him again since he never returned the next year. Hopefully he got some real help with his new foster home. It took me about 3-4 years to get over my Misophobia (fear of germs), but to this day I will not touch a crayon that hasn't just been taken out of a brand new box. That made it a little difficult me being a substitute teacher two years ago when I'd occasionally have to sub in a primary classroom, but luckily I've got a permanent position in a highschool, so crayons are few and far between.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 03:12 |
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Giggily posted:Usually whenever he got anyone to the ground he would start humping whatever part of their body his crotch ended up lining up with. The worst part is that he would go after the same people every time, so their breaks ended up being nothing but retard surprise sex sessions. The only way they could avoid it was by staying on the sidewalk that ran beside our school, since Tremor kid decided that he couldn't tunnel through it. When we were running around the playground, Rimi was the one dry humping the swing-set. When we were sitting in class, Rimi was the one grinding against the side of his desk. When we had science class, Rimi was the one getting intimate with the lab stools. I often wonder where Rimi is now.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 03:37 |
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In kindergarten, we had Dan the Crayon Eater.He had very discerning tastes too - only Crayola and only the bright colors. Once I went to get a drink from the fountain in the hallway and he came out of his classroom at the same time, so I let him got first. He gave me the biggest goddamn  - his teeth were liberally speckled neon orange.Then later a group of kids discovered you could snort Pixie Stix...
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 03:49 |
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I went to school in an affluent area, so even if the kids' home lives weren't great, at least they had money to make up for it! Anyway, the crazy kid in my grade was Jacob, a.k.a. the Poop Eater. I only went to this particular school for fourth and fifth grade, and I witnessed a lot of poop eating in that time. The most memorable moments: - It was the end of the school day, and we were waiting at the front of the school for our parents to pick us up. Jacob must have wanted a snack, because he began licking dried, crusty bird poop off the top of the school sign at the front of the school. He licked that poop until it was gone. I'm pretty sure most of the school witnessed that one. - We were doing a mile run for Phy.Ed. in the grass behind the playground, as our school was too small for any kind of track. Jacob suddenly stopped and sat down abruptly. We all wondered why as we continued running, and upon looping back around, saw Jacob delicately breaking a dog turd into pieces, then nibbling it like it was the finest chocolate. The teacher saw him when she noticed that a few girls had started gagging and sent him to the nurse's office to wash his mouth. - Occasionally, we would see Jacob digging in a corner of the field during recess. None of us wanted to know what he was doing, so we let him be. Then one day, he came back from his corner with his hands and pockets full of...something. It was time to line up to go in, so he approached the group. The Recess Supervisor (or whatever the ladies with the whistles are called) stopped him and asked him what he was holding. He smiled, then opened his fists, revealing two full handfuls of petrified dog poop. The Recess Supervisor recoiled in disgust, and Jacob held them out farther, saying, "I'm saving my crunchy snacks for later!" Needless to say, later never came, as the Recess Supervisor made him throw his treasure away and go to the nurse's office to thoroughly scrub his hands clean. Jacob was also known to eat other things besides poop. Every time it rained significantly, earth worms would emerge from the field and squirm around on the blacktop. Now, all of us kids loved playing with the worms, whether that meant picking them up and throwing them at our friends, or just stomping one end to watch the other end flail around. But Jacob was the only kid who collected them by the handful, then sat and ate them one by one. He would take each worm by one end, hold it over his tipped-back head, then slurp it down like a spaghetti noodle. The Recess Supervisors didn't even bother to stop him when he did that, because at least worms aren't poop. Once Jacob brought a plastic spork down from the cafeteria. He waited until the Recess Supervisors weren't looking, then found a nice patch of dirt behind a tree and began spooning dirt into his mouth, eating it like he hadn't eaten in days. One of the kids in my group told him to stop, but he didn't stop. We yelled for the Supervisor, who came and told him to stop. He looked up, and with dirt spilling out of his mouth, asked, "Why?" The Supervisor paused, then said that it was illegal to eat school property. That must have been a good enough answer, because that was the first and last time I saw him eating dirt. Once, a teacher caught Jacob hiding behind another tree during recess, peeling the skin off a dead gopher, and poking his fingers into it's decaying flesh. A simple trip to the nurse's office wasn't good enough for that incident, as he needed tetanus and rabies shots for having his fingers inside a rotting animal. We sometimes wondered if Jacob wasn't a little "special," especially after the time he urinated all over himself in the lunch line...in fifth grade. When staff asked him why he hadn't asked a Recess Supervisor to hold his spot so he could go to the bathroom (which they did a lot for other kids), he said that there wasn't enough time, so he just went. Apparently, after that incident, the staff had him evaluated for special education, but for whatever reason, he didn't fully qualify. He got to take tests and do art projects with the special ed. class, but he wasn't there full time. I have to admit, I still wonder about that kid from time to time. I wouldn't be surprised if one of the wonderfully horrible photo threads on GBS will one day have a photo of him in some horrific scat scene, but I'll hold out hope that he grew out of his poop fetish. TL;DR - Kid ate poop, worms, and dirt, played with a dead gopher, and peed his pants in fifth grade.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 03:49 |
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There was a kid in my grade 6 class named Dean who essentially had a sitter within class because he was such a troubled kid. Ms. Valtz essentially assisted him in any work that was given in class and as much as I could tell kept him from outbursts within class. Outside of class though during recess/lunch etc he was on his own and constantly got into fights or did just, cruel poo poo, like bursting into the girls bathroom, grabbing a doll off a random 6 year old girl and flushing it down the toilet.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 03:53 |
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In middle school, there was this kid named Chad. He was quiet, kept to himself, and as far as I know had no friends to speak of. The few times I got partnered up with him in whatever class we shared he would act the same as any middle schooler would. However, in eight grade (middle school was 7+8th grade), Chad snapped. My classmates and I first realized something was wrong when he got suspended for two weeks. He somehow managed to break a fold-up ping pong table in PE and threw a paddle at the teacher. While he was in the Dean's office, he picked up one of the chairs that students sit in, which weighed a good twenty pounds, and threw it at the dean. Fortunately, the assistant principal was in the room and blocked the chair from hitting the dean. Fast forward a few months later. A friend and I are walking back from the school's library, which was right above the main entrance and the exit to the recess yard. We we descending the stairs next to the recess yard when we saw Chad hiding behind one of the structural pillars. My friend says, "Chad, quit being such a stalker." and we continue to walk back towards our class. About fifteen feet down the hall we hear, "Young man, don't you go out that door!" We turn to see Chad bolt for the door while the dean and the asst. principal dive towards Chad in an effort to stop him. In the ensuing scuffle, Chad punched each of them a few times before they managed to subdue him. We never saw him again after that. Edit: He also looked exactly like Woody from Toy Story Robot Randy fucked around with this message at Jan 30, 2012 around 04:04 |
| # ? Jan 30, 2012 03:53 |
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I have a lot of stories but, here are a few that should be somewhat interesting. 1) Unsafety Scissors In kindergarten I was playing with these huge lego blocks. They were pretty cool. The class allowed you to take a break from your assignment if you wanted to play for a little bit. One of the tables had these group of kids complaining that they didn't have enough brown for whatever they were drawing. At least I think that's what they were talking about. I wasn't paying attention much since it didn't matter to me. As I was building my imperial fortress of solitude, I was interrupted by this loud shriek. I turn around and see this kid bleeding from his forehead all over the place. Apparently, one of the kids decided to try to cut some of his skin off. I assume he did it to get more "brown" or something. I'm not even sure if I made that reason up in order to try and rationalize what I saw. It was just completely random. My teacher stares for a second or two before grabbing the bleeding kid and carrying him off for medical attention. I later heard that the kid was in the hospital and was alright. I didn't see him again in school so he might've been transferred elsewhere. 2) Why are you wet? I transferred to another school briefly for about 3-4 months in second grade. I made friends with this kid who got in trouble somewhat frequently from my understanding. He claimed that he was a time traveling cop from the future or something so he was a bit off. We went into the bathroom to brush our teeth (our school had this rule where you had to brush your teeth after lunch) and he ended up getting in a fight with this smaller kid. He dragged him to toilets and I assumed he would give him a swirley. He did not. Instead he made the kid (to use a phrase from the toilet thread on SA) "AC Slater" the toilet. If you're British, it is my understanding that it probably just means "Sit on the toilet" to you. After he makes him AC Slater the toilet, he flushes it. The kid did not get wet at all, he was just sitting on it. The kid starts bawling and then looses it. I decided to leave because what I was watching was pretty stupid. On my way out, my friend's jacket ended up being thrown into the air and it landed on me. His jacket was completely soaked and as result, so was I. I removed the jacket and got in line to head for class. I don't say a word to anyone and no one says anything to me. Once I was class the teacher's aid notices that I'm drenched and dripping. "Why are you wet?" I still don't know how the jacket got soaked. I figured it was better that I didn't know at the time. 3) Your hand feels so good I was in second grade and back at my original school. It was lunchtime so I was in the huge waiting line since everyone is dismissed for lunch at the same time and waiting in line is mandatory before you're allowed to play. One of my friends was in front of me at the time. I don't remember what we were talking about but, he suddenly reaches out to me and says "Hey, give me your hand." I asked why and he said he wanted to show me something. I cautiously agreed and reach out my hand when he suddenly grips my hand as hard as he can; he then the drags my hand to his crotch and starts humping it. He exclaims, "Oh you're grabbing my dick!" I struggle as hard as I can and break free. I have no idea why he did that so I ask him.  : Why the heck did you do that? : Because you were grabbing my dick.: That doesn't make any sense.He later explained to me that it was game. You were supposed to grab someone's hand and make it touch your dick for as long as possible. I still don't understand what the point of it was. All I know is that the game stuck around for quite a while and I never fell for it again. It was blatantly obvious whenever someone wanted you to feel your hand against their junk because they always prefaced it with "Hey, give me your hand."
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 03:53 |
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In first grade I had a classmate named Robbie. Robbie behaved retardedly and dressed/looked like whatever passed for a dork in the 70s. Imagine a tall, gangily kid with light blue pants hiked up way past his belly-button, rainbow shirts with short sleaves that were super tight on his skinny frame, suspenders, black rim glasses, curly unkept black hair. He would look around with wild eyes and make wild gestures with his lips, tongue and general lower face area in talking/making sounds. But he did all of his homework and later on skipped grades and spent his time reading three newspapers in the library in sixth grade, holding conversations, albeit slobbery retard-sounding ones, with school staff. I can't remember if he actually knew his poo poo or they were just humoring him, but he still skipped the grades and was in charge of the library study halls. Back to first grade, Robbie would sometimes get excited about something and become a bit unruly in class in his fashion: running around with his oversized limbs slobbering around and generally looking like a childlike Jim Carrie way ahead of his time. One day in the middle of this outburst he stops dead in his tracks and starts grunting, and grunting, and grunting. A girl in the class screams as poo poo rises above his waist-band like soft-serve chocolate ice cream and begins hitting the floor around his little red and white Converses. Robbie poo poo like a champion and his hiked up tight pants didn't leave a lot of room for all of that Colon chilli, so up it came. The teacher grabbed him by the arm and yanked him out of the room, off to the bathroom and the principal's office I'm sure. Later on I saw him and his parents in their car on the road in like middle school or something. His dad looked like a fat version of his son and his mother was one of those wifes who takes on the appearance of her husband, so they were all very Robbieesque in their rusted out little Beatle with the back window plastered in stickers, some of which were for Harvard and Stanford. Robbie is probably somewhere right now pulling the levers that control all of the economies of the world, dressed in the hand-me-down clothes that his father wore fifty years ago, wagging his tongue in one direction while his crazy eyes dart in another.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 03:55 |
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I wish I remembered this poor girl's name, but in fourth and fifth grade this kid with Downs was utterly convinced I was her big sister. Maybe she really did have a sister who looked like me, I dunno. But she would always shamble up to me and demand a hug--she was strong for a girl, I remeber that much--and grab my hand swinging it hard, and insist I sing some stupid song from Barney to her--something about how we were sisters and she loved her sister. It was cute in hindsight, but at the time I wanted to crawl under a rock every time.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 04:02 |
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Am I crazy, or was it a fad for a while in the 90's to sleep with your window open? I only ask because this one fat girl came in every morning when I was in fifth grade and loudly proclaimed that she "slept with her window open last night" and then proceeded to tell an incident that happened whilst sleeping with the window open. This spread around the school like wildfire, and random people thought it was cool to say that they slept with their window open. Elementary school kids are so bizarre.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 04:10 |
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Okay, none of mine are quite that horrifying, but one stood out. Austin, in the 5th grade. Small, private Christian school. This is not a child who had a "terrible home life," per se. He was a spoiled brat. See, his mother was a judge for a short while. She was known for being completely insane, to the point that she tried to get the process server arrested for serving her some papers. She locked her office and literally threw away the keys when she was kicked out. So we come to Austin. He was fairly smart, but his mouth was extremely deformed. He had the most pronounced overbite I had ever seen, in fact, and I had a terrible one as a kid. He literally could not close his mouth. Essentially, this twisted his features in a way that made him look Special Ed. He MAY have had motor control problems, I am not sure. He had to use a laptop to do all of his schoolwork to make up for an inability to write legibly, or so his mother said. The thing is, he was a devious little bastard. He wasn't slow at all. He used this as an excuse to do as little as possible and just play Solitaire on his laptop. He would do about five problems in math, put down " I had made the mistake of feeling sorry for him before I realized this. Some of the other kids had as well. When we noticed this, we informed teachers, because screw that. He was no longer allowed to use his laptop, but he still did the same thing. Just in illegible chicken-scratch. His mother still insisted that he was "special." No. He was just a little poo poo who knew she'd let him get away with things. This... wasn't the worst he did by far, though. He was a little pervert, you see. He "tripped into" one of the girls one day. She brushed it off as actually tripping, but she informed the other kids regardless. He had done so hands-first into her chest. He believed that being small and supposedly special ed would save him from the rear end-kicking that would ensue if any of the boys caught him being a perv. He was incorrect in several ways. One being that the boys weren't all the problem. He tried this on the tallest girl in class, and she's a cop's kid. I'll never forget him flying out of the locker room face-first. She tossed him like a shot-put. He sortof learned from that experience. He tried it again on the smallest, mousiest, least confrontational girl I've ever known. Of course, he did so a few feet in front of me. I was an undiagnosed bipolar girl with a whole lot of suppressed irritation at things, and I had one of those enormous, awesome Igloo lunchboxes. The old type had good angles on the corners and was extremely heavy. I slammed the thing corner-first into his skull before realizing that my teacher was looking right at us. Being a teacher's kid, I got in trouble for absolutely anything and everything... and yet my teacher just turned around and went back to her desk as if nothing had happened. He spent the last part of the year pointedly avoiding the girls, and he did not come back the next year. His mother insisted that he had never done anything of the sort, when confronted. I heard later that he was suspended from public school. Why? He started stalking some of the girls and filling their lockers with obscene notes. I heard some groping was involved. I guess we should have hit him harder, it might have put some sense into him for longer than a few months. Recounting this, I do remember one other notable crazy. Really, tiny schools seem to attract a higher concentration of lunatics. This kid... Afraid I can't remember his name. He was in a class that we didn't interact with often. Which is good, because I had enough issues without being charged with murder in the sixth grade. You see, he was a future serial killer. I am serious, and I constantly wonder if I will see his face in the newspapers. He had the classic first sign of a future serial killer. Extreme cruelty to animals. All animals. Doesn't matter what sort. He once filled a kiddie pool with... minnow eggs, I believe? Possibly frog eggs? He took them from a local pond. When they hatched and were half-grown, he covered the surface in oil to kill them. He once regaled classmates about the time that he stoned a duck to death. He laughed delightedly while describing how the first broke its wing, how it flopped around on the ground helplessly. He remembered each hit and described it in loving detail. He had pets. His mother was possibly insane, I don't know why she kept getting him pets. He put his pet cat into the bag of the lawnmower and mowed the lawn. The cat died "mysteriously" a week later. We all were quite sure it was something he did. He would put antifreeze on his driveway, often on something edible. Just in case something went by. He would chase squirrels and other animals with his lawnmower, hoping to run them over. Creepy little fucker. His mom got him a new cat, too. Midnight Voyager fucked around with this message at Jan 30, 2012 around 05:09 |
| # ? Jan 30, 2012 05:04 |
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We had a few kids like this in my school. One, we'll call him Sean. Sean was adopted, and his adoptive parents were kind of odd. However, Sean was also mentally challenged (I'm not sure what exactly, and back then I never really "knew"; he was just weird) and even though he was in Special Ed classes, he was also assigned to a regular class each year (mine, for a few years). That being said, Sean would do some pretty off the wall poo poo. He was obese and not attractive at all, yet would always try to chase the girls or get a kiss or whatever. That being said, the "cool" kids would often tease him and make him angry... which would cause him to pretend to be a bull or something and charge them (and thus he gets in trouble, and the other kids didn't). The point of this whole backstory is to set up THUNDERDOME. We had a geodesic dome put onto the playground when it got renovated, which was entirely open and Sean would routinely go inside of it and rush whomever was foolish enough to hang too low or go inside. Everyone else would climb on top or on the sides and cheer and watch as the braver kids did battle with Sean. If you got touched, or grabbed, or whatever, you were pretty much ostracized for a few days (cooties I guess?). There was another kid who was less memorable (mostly anger issues and such) that I ran into at Subway the other day. He was extremely normal and it was good seeing him, and to see that he became a functioning (young) adult.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 05:19 |
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The craziest kid that I ever interacted with in elementary school was this one girl who was somewhat obsessed with me and one of my friends. Neither of us knew her name, instead we knew her as "throw up girl". Why did we call her this, you ask? Well, whenever she saw us during lunch/recess, she would make herself throw up into her mouth, and then chase us around and try to show it to us. She would do this either by spitting at us, blowing throw-up bubbles, or just by chewing it with her mouth open while in view of us. And always with a giant poo poo-eating grin on her face (or should I say vomit-eating grin?). She knew she was tormenting us, and she enjoyed it. Once she even managed to get my fiend to vomit as well, out of disgust. That girl still haunts my dreams. One of the craziest/weirdest people in my elementary school life wasn't a fellow student though, but rather a local teenager named "James". James was a skinny, unhealthy-looking kid who dressed and talked like Easy-E (he was white and middle class though), and had some kind of horrible social ineptitude that caused him to spend many of his afternoons at the local elementary schoolyard, bullying the little kids who were waiting to get picked up by their parents. I was a regular after school, so me and my group of friends became one of his prime targets. It got to the point where we had sort of an unofficial "anti-James" gang formed up, and whenever James would appear on the school yard, we would gather up and start yelling insults at him, and act like we were gonna fight him (which actually did happen a couple times....thankfully we had strength in numbers, teachers as backup, and he was pretty scrawny). I secretly felt kind of bad for him, honestly... I had this feeling that he had no friends, and that picking on us was the only thing that he had to do. Happysafer posted:This kid cornered me in the bathroom in 2nd grade. I pushed him out of the way and went back to class. A few minutes later the teacher came up and asked me why I hit this kid in the bathroom. He tried to pick a fight, and then tattled on me! Kind of reminds me of this one weird kid at my school who thought we were friends, and would occasionally follow me around in 3rd and 4th grade. One day I was playing with a couple of my actual friends in the school yard, when this kid came out of nowhere, jumped on my back and started hitting me. I somehow pulled a cool Jet Li move and flipped him over my head, slamming him onto the ground and knocking the wind out of him (he had the element of surprise, but I had the size advantage). He looked shocked for a second, like he couldn't understand what had just happened, and then he started crying. He ran to the nearest teacher and ratted me out for "beating him up", but I explained how I was only defending myself. Luckily this kid was known as a troublemaker, so the teacher just said, "Well maybe you shouldn't pick on people, then this wouldn't happen to you." ...And I got to walk away as a free child, with a giant face, while the other kid got to run off and cry to himself. That kid later got expelled for randomly fighting with another kid and breaking his arm.Iluvlortab posted:My elementary school was old. We had those giant radiator heaters. In the winter time the boys would piss on it to see the steam. The bathroom would be choked with piss steam. Ahh, youth. Yeah, groups of unsupervised youth in the same bathroom together seem to have a tendency to get involved in primitive celebrations of urine-delivery prowess. At my school kids would have pissing contests, where they would see who could make it into the urinal from the farthest away. And every now and then everyone would seemingly go gently caress IT, and just decide to have a mass piss-event into the drain in the middle of the floor, rather than use the urinals at all. Like some sort of mob-piss mentality. And god help you if you needed to take a poo poo. Provided you could even find a toilet that wasn't clogged or covered in poo poo/piss, you had to worry about marauders. Yeah, that's right. You'd just be starting to let a turd drop when all of a sudden some gently caress face would pop half his body under the door or side of the stall, and start yelling/pointing/laughing/cursing at you. You could think you were the only one in the bathroom, but somehow it would always still happen. If you were extra unlucky, they would kick the stall door in, and all their freinds would come and join in on the pointing and laughing through the open door. To be fair, YES a lot of these kids really did have hosed up lives. There were the special-ed kids of course, and many kids were extremely poor and lived in the ghetto/projects, had parents busy working all day, or who didn't really care about them much, and their school lunch was sometimes the only decent meal they would get all day (and anyone who has had public school food in the US knows how lovely it is). I would occasionally hear them talk about who got shot last night, etc, etc. If anyone's wondering, this was a public school in San Francisco, CA, 1992-1998. People, post where your schools were located, I want to see what kind of crazy gets bred in different places. Rah! fucked around with this message at Jan 30, 2012 around 05:29 |
| # ? Jan 30, 2012 05:26 |
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It was me, I was the crazy kid  I was the biggest smart-rear end sperg in elementary, had no social awareness whatsoever and would openly pick my nose while taking tests. I was also a biter, and I would kick people under the tables, throw tantrums, and toss chairs around in class. My home life was okay, but I was under a lot of academic pressure. When you're doing nearly two hours of instrument practice and over an hour of math and English drills a day (along with a host of extracurriculars) at the age of ten, you don't have much time to develop social skills or become a well-adjusted person in general. (Please don't do this to your kids)
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 05:33 |
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Rah! posted:And god help you if you needed to take a poo poo. Provided you could even find a toilet that wasn't clogged or covered in poo poo/piss, you had to worry about marauders. Yeah, that's right. You'd just be starting to let a turd drop when all of a sudden some gently caress face would pop half his body under the door or side of the stall, and start yelling/pointing/laughing/cursing at you. You could think you were the only one in the bathroom, but somehow it would always still happen. If you were extra unlucky, they would kick the stall door in, and all their freinds would come and join in on the pointing and laughing through the open door. One of the many reasons I never shat at school more than once until college. I recall in the 6th grade, one of the wheelchair-bound, completely mentally disabled kids was in a bathroom stall trying to go to the toilet, and other kids were wadding up wet toilet paper in the sink and throwing it in. I've never felt more in a bathroom.The one time I did poo poo at school (again, 6th grade), I happened to get the one stall (out of four) that had toilet paper. There must have been something going around, as every stall was taken, so I had to help out the other kids. One of their friends was outside of the stalls, and I had to hand him a bunch of toilet paper for distribution amongst the other three. Even the stall without a door was taken. Actually, was it common for schools to have a stall without a door? Every men's room at my middle school had no door on the farthest stall to the end for the entire time I attended. ohnoitschris fucked around with this message at Jan 30, 2012 around 07:50 |
| # ? Jan 30, 2012 05:48 |
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This one kid I went to school with my whole life would do this loving weird thing with his hands that I've never seen anyone else do. If he got excited he would bring his hands up to his face, and make his fingers writhe and squirm all over each other, sometimes the finger speed would be really fast. Not only that, but his face would get really red, his mouth would open up as far as it could like he was trying to stick his hands in his mouth, and his eyes would almost roll back in their sockets. He did this everyday probably, and when we asked him he said it was something his dad would do. Like maybe he would do it to entertain him as a baby, I dunno. It almost always made everyone feel awkward at first, but we got used to it. He still did it in middle school, but much less frequently. To make things worse, his dad died when he was around 8 and hardly anyone knew that. Being raised by women most his life, he had a very feminine lisp. This was in a small rural town in Ohio in the 90's, and being gay was pretty much the worst thing you could ever be. He wasn't gay though, but that didn't change anyone's attitude towards him, he was always the "gay kid" from elementary through high school. After elementary school I realized how lovely it was to treat anyone who might be gay that way, and I did my best to get everyone else to stop. But it didn't really help any . Despite the way all the jocks and bullys treated him, he was one of the genuinely nicest people I've met.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 06:31 |
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| # ? May 18, 2013 20:57 |
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I knew a kid, Kenneth in first grade that was an alright guy - we were friendly and hung out at recess and lunch. Then we were in different classes from 2nd-4th grade so I didn't see him much, until one day I was lined up to go back in from lunch, and saw that he was in line at one of the handball courts. Then his twin brother cut in line in front of him and Kenneth gripped him by the throat while kicking. He spent a good 60 seconds strangling his brother by the time a teacher could pry him off, and I remember his brother unable to breath enough to sob. His neck was purple.
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| # ? Jan 30, 2012 06:38 |
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