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How exited are you now?
This poll is closed.
Really excited 76 46.34%
Kind of excited 16 9.76%
Not really excited 6 3.66%
My team sucks, why bother 6 3.66%
My team sucks, this is going to rule 51 31.10%
Which teams will be good, I need to know who to root for 9 5.49%
Total: 164 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

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CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

SQUAWK


Senf posted:

Goin' with 2006 Cards

I'm cool with that

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Mornacale
Dec 19, 2007

n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates


Senf posted:

Goin' with 2006 Cards

The A's are not going to be as good as the '06 Cards.

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

SQUAWK


I'll make the Spring Training GDT, we're cluttering the hell out of the N/V thread

e: i'm assuming we're just going with the "massive monthly GDT" plan

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Fucked around, got a triple double


CraigK posted:

So on a scale of 1 to '62 Mets, how bad are the A's going to be this year?

Like a solid 8.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



They won't be 03 Tigers bad but they could be pretty god drat bad.

Harlock
Jan 15, 2006

Tap "A" to drink!!!



Through my complicated algorithm*, I think they're a 70 win team at best.


*bullshit

Senf
Nov 12, 2006

I'VE GOT SUNSHINE,
ON A CLOUDY DAY.


Mornacale posted:

The A's are not going to be as good as the '06 Cards.

My internet sarcasm sucks, sorry.

leokitty
Apr 5, 2005

Well I had to phone his friend to state my case, and say he's lost control again.

And he showed up all the errors and mistakes, and said I've lost control again.

The Astros are much worse than any other team in MLB anyway

No Safe Word
Feb 26, 2005

I sure do love holding onto the rock!

leokitty posted:

The Astros are much worse than any other team in MLB anyway

And several in the minors

I mean, really, the Astros are more of a huge fuckoff question mark with a low ceiling and very low floor.

Scott Gomez Addams
Feb 10, 2008


I think the Mets have an outside chance at 75 wins. They do have Ike Davis, Johan, and Wright back.

In theory. For like two weeks.

OK, they'll probably lose 100 games.

Crion
Sep 30, 2004
baseball.

leokitty posted:

The Astros are much worse than any other team in MLB anyway

I think the Orioles will be worse due to their competition!

davecrazy
Nov 25, 2004

ASK ME ABOUT DOING HOOKERS AND BLOW AND WINNING SUPERBOWLS


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urCG4A4fa6k

Behold ye mortals, and despair!

e: guess i missed this earlier

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

SQUAWK


HOLY poo poo A FREE Marlins CELL PHONE POUCH

Senf
Nov 12, 2006

I'VE GOT SUNSHINE,
ON A CLOUDY DAY.


davecrazy posted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urCG4A4fa6k

Behold ye mortals, and despair!

e: guess i missed this earlier



While beautiful, it should have been bigger. It should have been huge.

It should have blocked out the skyline. It should require its own retractable roof.

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009



Nice looking stadium. Cant wait to see it with 7000+ fans.

Groucho Marxist
Dec 9, 2005

Here stands baseball's perfect warrior.

Here stands baseball's perfect knight.


URL Weaver posted:

I think the Orioles will be worse due to their competition!

Plus the Astros have Hope

KIM JONG TRILL
Nov 29, 2006

GIN AND JUCHE


DALLAS—Sought-after free agent pitcher Roy Oswalt said he was "flattered and impressed" by the effort the Texas Rangers made in trying to sign him this week, but admitted he had no idea why the team made such a point of emphasizing the abundant, diverse, and thriving gay nightlife in Dallas.

"I know it's traditional to tell a guy exactly how great the team is, and what a great city it is, and stuff like that," said Oswalt, who returned to his home in Houston Thursday night after what he called a "stressful whirlwind tour" of the Rangers facilities and the city of Dallas proper. "And they did that, showed me around, but kept saying how Dallas had all kinds of people, and how they were pretty accepting, and no one was going to judge me, especially because I'd be a star there. I wasn't really sure what the big idea was at first."

According to Oswalt, despite the "kind of weird" nature of the conversation, his visit started much as any recruiting visit might. The former Astros and Phillies ace was met at the airport by team officials, including current manager Ron Washington and GM Jon Daniels, as well as two handsome, clean-cut young men who identified themselves only as "Tex" and "Kevin."

A visit to the Ballpark in Arlington followed, during which Washington and Daniels espoused the benefits of living in an "exciting and open-minded" town such as Dallas, and Tex and Kevin repeatedly asked to see his arm, praised its muscularity, and offered to rub it or ice it down if needed.

"Then," Oswalt said, "oh, God, then they took me out on the town."

The Rangers reportedly had prepared a tour of Dallas nightlife they thought would prove irresistible to Oswalt, taking him to a series of "cowboy bars" and "denim clubs" they had evidently decided would appeal to his rural, working-class tastes.

"I know it's traditional to buy a guy a steak and show him a good time, but, uh, that was—well, it was real different," said Oswalt, who admitted "everyone was real nice and everything" the entire time. "The food at the Havana Lounge was great, I like Cuban and all, but they… It really wasn't my kind of place. And then they took me to this place called Zippers, and that wasn't my kind of place at all."

"Not at all," Oswalt added.

After determining Oswalt was in fact highly uncomfortable in the loud, humid, smoke-filled men-only strip club, Daniels and Kevin decided to take him to "someplace a little more laid back."

After Oswalt repeatedly said he "only wanted to sit down with a beer and hear some music," the group wound up at the Round-Up Saloon, a large, friendly place considered Dallas' best gay music bar.

"Daniels kept saying that money wasn't a problem, that I'd fit in real well with their rotation, and that Dallas was like Houston, but with better restaurants and a little bit more leather," Oswalt said. "I was like, Man, I've been married to my high school sweetheart all my life. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Daniels responded by taking Oswalt to Sue Ellen's, considered one of the best lesbian bars in Texas, and asking the pitcher if that was the sort of thing his wife had in mind.

At press time, the Rangers and Cardinals are considered the frontrunners to sign Oswalt, who is expected to command an annual salary in the range of $8 million to $10 million. Oswalt is also reportedly considering a deal with the Baltimore Orioles, who have invited the right-hander to come tour Camden Yards and the city's burgeoning S&M scene.

Inside Outside
Jul 31, 2005



davecrazy posted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urCG4A4fa6k

Behold ye mortals, and despair!

e: guess i missed this earlier



There's so much empty space in left center next to the dinger machine. It's the perfect size for a second dinger machine.

No Safe Word
Feb 26, 2005

I sure do love holding onto the rock!

If you're going to post an onion article you could at least link it when it has a good picture like:

Beatnik-Filmstar
Feb 9, 2006

Distance to home : 240 feet.
Distance of throw : 8 feet.
Lawn Dart efficiency : 100%


Inside Outside posted:

There's so much empty space in left center next to the dinger machine. It's the perfect size for a second dinger machine.

Ryguy005
Sep 5, 2005


Beatnik-Filmstar posted:



This is beautiful. Maybe they can have one in space?

Edit: IT HAS ONE!

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008



Change the giveaway to a free dinger machine.

Senf
Nov 12, 2006

I'VE GOT SUNSHINE,
ON A CLOUDY DAY.


Beatnik-Filmstar posted:



I lost it when I noticed the behemoth outside of the ball park. Nicely done, should propose it directly to Loria.

Beatnik-Filmstar
Feb 9, 2006

Distance to home : 240 feet.
Distance of throw : 8 feet.
Lawn Dart efficiency : 100%


Jim Pohlad vows to bring the glory of dingers to Target Field.



Now in Morneau-O-Vision!

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

SQUAWK


If you hit one off the dolphin on the fly it's worth seven runs and the player who hits it gets to fail one PED test without penalty

Senf
Nov 12, 2006

I'VE GOT SUNSHINE,
ON A CLOUDY DAY.


Beatnik-Filmstar posted:

Now in Morneau-O-Vision!



I laughed. I'm a terrible person

Mornacale
Dec 19, 2007

n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates


Y'all are thinking too small. The stadium itself should just be a giant dinger machine.

Declan MacManus
Sep 1, 2011



URL Weaver posted:

I think the Orioles will be worse due to their competition!

Is there some sort of cute Orioles drinking game I can play to make it through the games, or is the game just tilt the bottle into your mouth at the top of the first and bring it back down when you can't feel feelings

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

SQUAWK


And if you hit that sun-looking thing, it triggers "MULTI-RUN MODE" where everybody from the offensive team, including the coaches and batboys, pours out the dugout toward home plate and runs the bases and if the defensive team pushes you to the ground, you're out and everybody that runs all four bases without getting knocked down counts as a run

Harlock
Jan 15, 2006

Tap "A" to drink!!!



Beatnik-Filmstar posted:

Jim Pohlad vows to bring the glory of dingers to Target Field.


The saddest dinger machine is a lineup with Ben Revere.

explosivo
May 23, 2004

Fueled by Satan

Declan MacManus posted:

Is there some sort of cute Orioles drinking game I can play to make it through the games, or is the game just tilt the bottle into your mouth at the top of the first and bring it back down when you can't feel feelings

Every time you IRL, take a drink.

It's going to be a long season.

Senf
Nov 12, 2006

I'VE GOT SUNSHINE,
ON A CLOUDY DAY.


Mornacale posted:

Y'all are thinking too small. The stadium itself should just be a giant dinger machine.

Senf posted:

It should require its own retractable roof.

Carlton Banks
Jan 5, 2004

"The Tigers' biggest obstacle to a championship will be keeping a straight face. The Tigers in three."

I wonder if Loria can afford to buy the St. Louis Arch and move it to Miami to turn into a massive dinger machine

theacox
Jun 8, 2010

You can't be serious.


Mornacale posted:

Y'all are thinking too small. The stadium itself should just be a giant dinger machine.

I wouldn't be entirely unhappy if we could cut off the entire Florida peninsula and replace it with a dinger machine you could see from space.

RoleModel
Nov 2, 2010


explosivo posted:

Every time you IRL, take a drink.

It's going to be a long season.

He won't make it a week into the season if he drinks every time the O's make him

explosivo
May 23, 2004

Fueled by Satan

It's how I get myself through a season

jeffersonlives
Jul 22, 2007

"Mathewson pitched against Cincinnati yesterday. Another way of putting it is that Cincinnati lost a game of baseball."


ManifunkDestiny posted:

Jesus Montero just left after getting hit in the face with a foul ball

And this right here is why the Mariners are lunatics/idiots for continuing the charade.

shyduck
Oct 3, 2003



I wonder how well that glass can hold up to a hurricane.

I also just read about the 2012 2-3 Division Series format, and I really don't understand on what planet is that fair at all. That's what a division winner wants, to go play two road games against a team that's probably on a high after squeaking in. That's fair, you're awesome Selig.

bawfuls
Oct 28, 2009

KEMvP


I created this sophisticated rendering to show how large the dinger machine ought to be.

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Dr. Capco
May 21, 2007

A mechanical man never smiles


The dinger machine should be the size of the stadium and its moving parts should be so loud that it disrupts traffic and causes people to assume that one of Stanton's massive dingers has finally triggered the end times.

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