Detroit_Dogg posted:

I believe Justin Verlander to be like a fine wine that only improves with age.

Marquis de Pyro posted:

Verlander works every offseason to get better than the previous year, I'm predicting he'll begin an era of 30 win seasons and reach 300 in no time

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

if he also hit a dinger in the WS in Miami Stadium or whatever I would probably get a face tattoo of his face

Chilly McFreeze posted:

I don't want Verlander to hit any home runs, because he'll officially become the worst batter in history with just 1 more 0-4 day.

Regnevelc posted:

Weren't they talking about making a hat with the dinger machine on it? Or was that just wishful thinking from a goon?

Senf posted:

I don't even really know what a flamingo sounds like but I want them to loving roooooar

RoleModel posted:

I like the idea of the Birdland Bomb Behemoth. It's probably fueled by Melvin Mora's kids.

adaz posted:

My last name is Dinger and this Dinger machine talk is seriously loving with me.

But now I kind of want to make a coat of arms with the Dinger machine emblazoned on it and hang it above my fireplace.

URL Weaver posted:

I'd just go with "Deus vult."

The Pirates Are Considering Adding The Sid Bream Nightmare To Fans’ Daily Viewing Experience

Having to watch the Pittsburgh Pirates play baseball every night just isn't enough punishment, apparently. Now Pirates fans might get a nightly reminder of the one moment most of them can't bring themselves to discuss without staring off into the distance and cursing incoherently about somebody named Cabrera. That's because the team is considering having Sid Bream sit in as a panelist on their nightly postgame show. And check out how Bob Smizik chose to mention this in his dispatch about it on the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's website. There are five other paragraphs about personnel changes at the Pirates' flagship station before Smizik gets around to saying this at the end:

quote:

Plans are not complete but it looks like Dan Zangrilli will handle the post-game show. Zangrilli, formerly the play-by-play announcer of the Altoona Curve, has done fill-in work for The Fan.

It will be a two-man show. Former major leaguers Sid Bream and Kevin Orie are said to be under consideration.

It's like Smizik—a semi-retired former columnist—had somewhere to be, so he hurriedly rewrote the press release, complete with Bream's name buried at the bottom, as though Bream were Jason Thompson or Mark Johnson or Kevin Young. Sid Bream's just a "former major leaguer" in Pittsburgh the way Joe Carter's a "former major leaguer" in Philly, or Bucky Dent's a "former major leaguer" in Boston. The difference is that Bream once played for the Pirates. Well, that and the Pirates have been basically playing their fans for the 20 years since this.

Mornacale posted:

Prince Fielder is the new Adam Dunn.

Oh, what a beautiful world that would be.

quote:

Randy Johnson: "Friends of mine weren't aware that I had agreed to be part of the commercial, so I got a lot of calls and texts after they saw it on TV yesterday," Johnson said. "I had to watch it three or four times because I wasn't really focused on Justin Verlander. It's hard not to pay attention to Kate Upton.

"But Verlander's impression of me, with the hair and the mustache, I'm really flattered. Being removed from the game [since retiring in 2009], that they would ask me, I guess I had a big enough career. And it's a really well put-together commercial. It's hysterical."

But what is it that Verlander mumbles under his breath as he tries to sneak by? Johnson himself didn't even know, so his representative interjected on the call: "Verlander says, 'I'm here for the lobster.' He came up with the line himself."

quote:

Lakeland, Fla.— With the first major move of the spring, the Tigers' bullpen is starting to take shape.

Following the Detroit's 7-7 tie against the New York Mets on Monday, reliever David Pauley was released.

Pauley, a right-hander, was competing this spring for one of the final middle-relief spots in the bullpen, but it was an uphill battle from the get-go since the Tigers had planned all along to have Collin Balester, acquired from the Nationals in a trade this offseason, make the team.

Pauley didn't help his cause with some tough outings. In 2.2 innings, he allowed five earned runs for a 16.87 ERA. He allowed eight hits and four walks, while striking out one.

"I'm sorry to be leaving, but that's baseball," Pauley said.

He didn't leave without praising his now-former ballclub: "This is going to be a juggernaut of a team."

When he was acquired last summer in a trade with the Mariners — starting pitcher Doug Fister came over in the deal, too — Pauley, 28, was in the middle of his best season in the major leagues.

With Seattle in 2011, he had a 2.15 ERA in 39 appearances.

But he never got on track with the Tigers, allowing 26 hits and four home runs in 19.2 innings. He had a 5.95 ERA with Detroit last season, and rarely pitched down the stretch.

Pauley didn't pitch in the postseason.

Oodles of Wootles posted:

Yayyyy now someone fix Turner trade Turner and a sack of gold to the Cubs for Garza

dog poop n doritos posted:

I'm Jeff Karstens.