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CuddleChunks posted:Happily, that contract makes it so you can back out now that you've got the inspection. Do it. Regardless of the financing?
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 04:10 |
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| # ? Jun 20, 2013 01:57 |
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zaurg posted:Regardless of the financing? It depends on whether the financing clause places any restrictions on the inspection clause, but with the way that inspection clause was written it looks like you can just back out for any inspection-related reason within 10 days without requiring any other reasons. Also, CuddleChunks posted:GET YOUR PAPERWORK IN ON TIME! YOU CANNOT DAWDLE ON THIS.  This cannot be emphasized enough. Write the letter tonight (typed, dated, and signed) and then go to the post office first thing in the morning to mail it (don't just leave it in your mailbox for your postman to pick up). Send it by certified mail so you have proof the letter was both sent and delivered. If you're within zone 1 for delivery to their zip code from your post office (which means first class mail has 1 day delivery) you can send it by first class; if you're outside zone 1 consider getting USPS express mail which guarantees 1 day delivery anywhere inside the continental US. Also, send them another copy by fax. Faxes may be archaic, but there's a significant body of law backing up their legality as being equal to the original and it's instantaneous (unlike the mail). If you don't have a fax machine most copy shops will have a fax you can use for a small fee.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 04:13 |
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Thanks guys for the advice. Feeling a little queasy. Why does this feel wrong... realtors and seller is gonna be pissed. What's the etiquette with this, send it to our realtor first? Or send to both our realtor and the listing agent? I've been looking around for a "termination of contract" form of some kind but I guess I just need to type something up short and sweet. Also instead of mailing why not deliver in person?
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 04:42 |
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zaurg posted:Thanks guys for the advice. Feeling a little queasy. Why does this feel wrong... realtors and seller is gonna be pissed. What's the etiquette with this, send it to our realtor first? Or send to both our realtor and the listing agent? I've been looking around for a "termination of contract" form of some kind but I guess I just need to type something up short and sweet. If you can deliver it in person, go with that. But remember, the contract requires you to do this in writing so just talking to them won't be enough. The contract also requires you to notify "the Seller" which is presumably a term exactly defined in the contract. Make sure you give this letter to the right people to get out of this contract. As for what you need to write, just tell them what the inspection found (though maybe not the estimated repair costs), why you think this is unacceptable, cite the section of the contract that lets you get out of it, and politely remind them that they have an obligation to return your deposit.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 04:47 |
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zaurg posted:Thanks guys for the advice. Feeling a little queasy. Why does this feel wrong... realtors and seller is gonna be pissed. What's the etiquette with this, send it to our realtor first? Or send to both our realtor and the listing agent? I've been looking around for a "termination of contract" form of some kind but I guess I just need to type something up short and sweet.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 04:51 |
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Hook & Radar - Thanks. If curious... I went through the 64 page inspection report. Here were the repairs/replacements needed and estimated costs: roof 2500 doors exterior 800 windows 500 driveway, landscaping, fences 500 fascia 500 cabinets 100 doors interior 100 Patio extended into living space with commercial drop ceiling. Permits unavailable. no estimated cost noted columns rusting 500 bathrooms/plumbing 300 hot water heater 550 wiring/outlets/panels 1000 a/c system 400 garbage disposal 100 washer 100 sprinklers 500 swimming pool 500 total $8,950.00 Haven't talked with the wife yet. 
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 04:55 |
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zaurg posted:total $8,950.00 Take that number and double it. Now double it again. Then triple it and you have an idea of your current cost for repairs to get into the place, future repairs because of the nasty poo poo going on in the background and all the fuckery that will go on with hiring contractors and a healthy fear factor that is based on watching too much HGTV "Holmes Inspections". You've got a nice clause in that contract that if you are not satisfied with the inspection you can walk with no penalties to either party. This is how it should be. Go and get that letter written. As for your wife, you can explain, "Honey, the house needed a lot of work and there were some really worrisome items found in the inspection. It's not the one for us." Get your letter written, get it mailed immediately and then start looking for a local handyman to come over and fix your current place. Spend no more than $300 for them to do the following: - Patch holes in drywall - Fix leaking faucets There you go. In this case, you need to step up and throw some money at these problems and get them fixed. Once that is done you should move on to the smell. Stick your nose in places, figure out if you have a general gross cat piss smell (in which case launch the cat into the nearest swamp and let the alligators handle it) or if it's a musty moldy smell. If the former, you're going to need some enzymatic cleaners to make things smell nice. Go to your local vet and ask them what they'd use - bonus if they have a bunch of student vets around. If it's a musty, damp smell then you need to check for existing moisture sources and deal with them, then rip up any carpet or other damaged areas and replace it. It hopefully won't be too bad but getting the smell handled will improve the air quality for your whole family. Let's use this weekend to go kick some rear end, Zaurg. Go, man, go!
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 06:04 |
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Just to add on:quote:Patio extended into living space with commercial drop ceiling. Permits unavailable. Zaurg, this seems like something is wrong with the patio, as in it may not have been built to code. You don't want to have to deal with this if so. Really, this is all you need to get out of the deal. But the roof and all of the other work needed just add fuel to the fire. Get your termination letter drawn up and get your money back.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 10:36 |
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Zaurg there are no emotions involved in a real estate transaction. The seller is trying to unload a not built to code death trap. Do not buy it.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 13:51 |
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Zaurg, something I just realized... You are buying a high maintenance house with a pool, a sprinkler system, a yard, landscaping, and God knows what else, and you don't have anything in your proposed budget to cover these items that can easily run you hundreds a month (unless you just don't take care of them, which is a lot of work, in which case they will eventually cost you more in repairs). And your utilities would likely increase by a significant amount. I mean, a pool by itself is tons of work and money. Did you guys think about this?
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 14:08 |
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Elephanthead posted:Zaurg there are no emotions involved in a real estate transaction. 
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 14:59 |
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zaurg posted:What? Who gives a poo poo if the seller and realtor are going to be pissed off. You want to spend Two Hundred Thousand Dollars to avoid pissing someone off you don't even know? Really?
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 16:59 |
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skipdogg posted:What? Who gives a poo poo if the seller and realtor are going to be pissed off. You want to spend Two Hundred Thousand Dollars to avoid pissing someone off you don't even know? Saying poo poo like this is just dumb and unhelpful. In theory, yes, buying real estate should be an unemotional business transaction. But the fact is, it isn't, because that's just the way human nature works. We see a house we really like, and get attached to it and want to buy it. Sometimes the inspection comes back and finds that the patio wasn't built to code, but human nature dictates that if we really like the house our emotions want us to overlook that fact. Then when we realize that it is time to back out of the deal, it's natural to feel a little bit guilty about what we feel is screwing someone over. Sure, everyone signed a contract and agreed to it, but it doesn't mean we don't feel bad about being the ones to pull out. Telling zaurg he's an idiot for having these emotions is so unnecessary and wrong. He's an idiot if he continues to go through with the transaction for the sake of alleviating that guilt, but he is obviously not doing that.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 17:28 |
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Actually had an adult conversation with wife today. Went to park to get out of the condo while we talked. Minimal crying involved. Honest thoughts shared. She said she would be moving out if we don't go through with buying this house. So that's where we are. Like I said, either way sucks.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 17:37 |
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"This house" or "a house?" You are being held hostage by an unreasonable person and your life and any chance of happiness should not be ueed as a bargaining chip to be held over your head like this.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 17:48 |
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zaurg posted:She said she would be moving out if we don't go through with buying this house. I see no downside to this plan.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 17:51 |
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zaurg posted:Actually had an adult conversation with wife today. Went to park to get out of the condo while we talked. Minimal crying involved. Honest thoughts shared. So unless you get your mom to commit fraud for you guys, she's leaving you. Ok.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 17:52 |
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I'm sorry you're in that situation zaurg. It's really, really lovely. That ultimatum from your wife is extremely unfair. Ultimatums in general are almost always completely unfair to the other person, in this case to you. Honestly, I think you need to tell her no. It might result in her moving out, but if you agree to it and go through with this purchase here is what will happen: - You will be miserable because you're always going to think about what could have been financially if you'd not purchased the house. - You will resent her for basically forcing you into it. - Every single time she wants anything in the future, she will do the exact same thing. It worked once, why won't it work when she wants a new car next year? - You will need to have your mom commit fraud in order for you to qualify for the mortgage. This may very well eventually completely ruin your relationship with your mother. And this doesn't even cover the fact that financially, buying this house is a terrible, terrible idea.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 18:00 |
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That's a lovely thing to have to deal with. I'm sorry Zaurg. Honestly though, where the hell is she going to go? Buy her own detached house with a pool on her salary alone? Hardly. Look at it logically, she can't afford to get a place on her own that is any better than where you live now. So she's going to move out get an apartment or something? Apartment != House. Look at it like this; if she wants a house so bad she's going to leave you over it then she's not getting one either way. She's full of poo poo. She's threatening divorce unless you make a decision that is horrible on both a financial and personal level. Man up and CALL HER OUT on it. Think about the positive steps you've made so far, don't let them go to waste.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 20:28 |
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zaurg posted:Actually had an adult conversation with wife today. Went to park to get out of the condo while we talked. Minimal crying involved. Honest thoughts shared. If she would divorce you over this, would you really want to remain in a marriage with her anyway?
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 20:36 |
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Adar posted:I see no downside to this plan. zing zaurg did you mail or fax the letter today? If not then you must get it to them in person on Monday.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 20:58 |
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So zaurg, where are you at? What are you thinking? Obviously, every one here is hoping you choose to walk away from the house idea. I think that is the best option too. If your wife is willing to leave you/move out because you won't bend to her demands right now, it doesn't bode well. Every time she wants something is she going to pull this? Is that what you want to live with? If my husband ever did something like that to me, I'd help him pack his bags because that is a really, really terrible thing. So, mail or deliver that letter today and get that money to your mom.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 21:00 |
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zaurg posted:Funny you should ask. Got the ticket renewal form in the mail today. $215 for the ticket plus $130 for parking pass. I'm going to skip it this year zaurg posted:It's a 2 bed 2 bath 1200sq ft condo. The water heater and central A/C are less than 5 years old. The fridge, stove, dishwasher, clothes washer, and dryer are less than 10 years old. We're planning on changing the remaining carpet to hard flooring. Have you thought through this whole investment property idea? zaurg posted:This is all correct, except the house is 215k and the mortgage is 197.8k. And the parent loan is from my mom. Still trying to remember how the wife talked me into that one as I refused the option to do that a bunch of times beforehand. Never borrowed from parents in my life. Just because the parents help my sisters a lot wife kept pushing to do it I guess. zaurg posted:I was surprised too. Debt to income ratio is 39.8% and that is good enough for them. They just require we have a 6 month condo reserve fund which is $5526, and they want the condo rented by closing. zaurg posted:zaurg posted:Wife said she had 3 panic attacks today and would end up in hospital soon. So probably just gonna buy this thing. 
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 21:36 |
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zaurg posted:Actually had an adult conversation with wife today. Went to park to get out of the condo while we talked. Minimal crying involved. Honest thoughts shared. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6zGEBhJMHA#t=35s I'm sorry your wife has given you an ultimatum but you are going to be strong and stand up for the right thing to do. You are *not* going to buy this house because you are looking ahead for yourself and your daughter and you can now clearly see that this is not in your best interest. Good job, Zaurg! paperchaseguy posted:zaurg did you mail or fax the letter today? If not then you must get it to them in person on Monday.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 21:58 |
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CuddleChunks posted:if you have a general gross cat piss smell (in which case launch the cat into the nearest swamp and let the alligators handle it) or if it's a musty moldy smell. Don't do this, obviously. However, you do need to take your cat to the vet and have it put down if it's not urinating/defecating in its litter box and it's very old. It's time to consider your pet's quality of life and not just keep it around suffering because you and/or someone else in your family's very attached to it. You've got to do the right thing here, Zaurg. I know you don't like making difficult decisions, but this is something you've GOT to do. My SO and I had to put down two elderly, sick cats in the past two years. We miss them terribly but we had to do what was right and best for them. It would be wonderful if our pets lived forever but that is not the case (unless you have a tortoise, I guess). In regard to your wife - does she have any good, redeeming qualities? I know she supported you back in the day, and you've had a kid with her but it feels like you've both already checked out of the relationship. It's like you're just staying together for the kid and because divorce requires 
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 22:20 |
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melon cat posted:No. Don't skip it for just one year. Skip it forever. Why do you need to even think about this? It's football, man. Big fan of the team my whole life, etc. Ever been a fan of a team, gone to games, etc? It's entertainment. What's a furnace? What's a TDS? I was referring to the "debt-to-income ratio" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debt-to-income_ratio It's a pretty simple math equation.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 22:31 |
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Nether Postlude posted:Don't do this, obviously. However, you do need to take your cat to the vet and have it put down if it's not urinating/defecating in its litter box and it's very old. It's time to consider your pet's quality of life and not just keep it around suffering because you and/or someone else in your family's very attached to it. You've got to do the right thing here, Zaurg. Just because a cat can't hold its bladder doesn't mean it's time to put it down. Sure, if there are other underlying issues like diabetes, it might be more humane, but as long as the only problem with it is that its penis/vagina leaks, chances are that cat's quality of life is still fine. Seriously, zaurg has enough to deal with right now without people telling him to put down his cat.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 22:35 |
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zaurg posted:Actually had an adult conversation with wife today. Went to park to get out of the condo while we talked. Minimal crying involved. Honest thoughts shared. For serious? Your wife told you she would be moving out if you didn't buy a house you obviously can't afford? You should call up her parents and tell them she said that, and ask them to help you get her into counselling. You should also tell your parents she said that, and return that $15k. It's time to play offense to save your relationship, duder. It's already been said, but your problem here is way more E/N than BFC. If you fix the former problem, the latter will be a lot easier to solve. And quite frankly you can't fix the latter without dealing with the former first.
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 22:58 |
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zaurg posted:It's football, man. Big fan of the team my whole life, etc. Ever been a fan of a team, gone to games, etc? It's entertainment.  quote:What's a furnace? quote:What's a TDS? I was referring to the "debt-to-income ratio"
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| # ? Mar 17, 2012 23:00 |
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melon cat posted:TDS= Total Debt Servicing ratio. Same as debt-to-income ratio. The way that your lender calculated it is very, very suspect. It's not suspect. It's simple math. I just reran the numbers without including my wife's $1000 annual bonus, remembered the bank doesn't include that. It's 40.3%, approximately, depending on what the insurance comes to be. Debt to Income Ratio husb Income $3,733.00 wife Income $3,417.00 House mortgage 197k $944.00 House property tax $306.00 House insurance $300.00 House PMI $155.00 Condo mortgage $671.00 Condo HOA $250.00 Student loans $253.00 Income $7,150.00 Debt $2,879.00 Leftover $4,271.00 Debt to Income Ratio 40.3%
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| # ? Mar 18, 2012 00:49 |
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So, what are you doing to do? You haven't actually answered that yet.
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| # ? Mar 18, 2012 00:51 |
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Going to buy the house and probably resent it, but hey I already do that, so what's really changing? I'm all-in, going to buy it, that is if financing and appraisal contingencies pass. She wins. Talked with mom, the 15k is a gift. She owed me at least that anyway but I won't get into that. When/if poo poo hits the fan (job loss, whatever) we'll forget about the condo but keep paying the HOA until it's resolved, but before even thinking about anything like that I'll consult a lawyer.
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| # ? Mar 18, 2012 01:20 |
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You're an idiot who will literally never have a positive net worth in your life.
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| # ? Mar 18, 2012 01:23 |
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HookShot posted:You're an idiot who will literally never have a positive net worth in your life. Do you remember the last thread? If you do, are you honestly surprised at this outcome? Actually, this is a serious question to everyone in this thread.
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| # ? Mar 18, 2012 01:29 |
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Earth posted:Do you remember the last thread? If you do, are you honestly surprised at this outcome? Surprised? No. Still wanting to encourage him to change his life and turn things around? Yes.
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| # ? Mar 18, 2012 01:32 |
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HookShot posted:Surprised? No. Yes, and berating someone who is possibly mentally challenged, and definitely being emotionally abused by his wife is a great way to go about this encouragement. Oh, you're already getting abused? Let's call you an idiot. Zaurg, buying this house won't fix anything. Houses come up for sale all the time, you don't have to get this one right now because in a month there will be a new set of houses for sale. If you aren't a magnificent troll and are actually human then I understand the desire to be happy. This desire is so heavy in you it drips out of your posts. It's clear that you will do anything to attain this happiness even if it means putting yourself in financial dire straights. Nothing has changed since you last posted. It's sounds like the marriage is still the same, and your wife is still emotionally putting you into the corner. You want to be happy, everyone who comes here looking for advice wants to be happy. To tell you the truth, it's not in this house purchase. Rather, it's in delaying the purchase and seeking couples counseling and personal counseling. You shouldn't have to live a life where you are threatened to be left when you give your input to the relationship. That. Is. Not. Healthy. Seek help, professional therapy for you alone, and for you and your wife at the same time.
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| # ? Mar 18, 2012 02:01 |
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I'm so glad I don't know you in real life Zaurg, because if I did, I would have to feel guilty about coming to this thread to feel good about myself in light of my own faults. I would assume your reasons for submitting to your wife and going all-in are to maintain the (broken) relationship you have now, for whatever it means to you and for your child. However, your course of action is merely an illusion of maintaining the status quo. There's always going to be one more thing that your wife manipulates you for, and as others have mentioned, your child is going to grow up learning that this toxic relationship is the norm, to be expected, and to be modeled.
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| # ? Mar 18, 2012 02:09 |
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Why do you bother even posting these threads, zaurg. It's not like you actually heed any of the advice people give in them. edit: well on the plus side, when you guys finally divorce you will each have a place to live.
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| # ? Mar 18, 2012 02:19 |
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Princess Putout posted:edit: well on the plus side, when you guys finally divorce you will each have a place to live. The legal fees will take care of that, not to worry. zaurg, do you actually like your wife? I assume you love her, but do you like her?
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| # ? Mar 18, 2012 02:23 |
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| # ? Jun 20, 2013 01:57 |
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Princess Putout posted:edit: well on the plus side, when you guys finally divorce you will each have a place to live. Wouldn't work. Already put that into the spreadsheet a few weeks ago expecting when we separate could she live in the house and me the condo and still afford it. Wouldn't work. Adar posted:zaurg, do you actually like your wife? I assume you love her, but do you like her? Not too much, recently.
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| # ? Mar 18, 2012 02:45 |
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