COOK OR DIE 4: I <3 CUMSTARD: Continuing affirmation of Ricola's failure

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > COOK OR DIE 4: I <3 CUMSTARD: Continuing affirmation of Ricola's failure

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA: May 29, 2008

It is time, once again, for a COOK OR DIE CHALLENGE! We had a great turnout for COOK OR DIE 3: BEYOND DUMPLINGDOME, thanks to all who participated. We have discussed and have decided that this week�s cookchallenge will be to MAKE A CUSTARD!

What is custard?

Michael Ruhlman posted:

The most basic definition of custard is simply liquid thickened by eggs, a fundamental preparation, and idea, in both the savory and sweet kitchen. Custards give us some of our best dishes�quiches (above, photo by DTR), cr�me br�l�e, andcr�me Anglaise (sometimes called custard sauce). Because they�re so prevalent in desserts, we tend to think of custards as sweet, though standard custard technique�liquid, eggs, seasoning, mixed and baked in a water bath�can be applied to virtually any flavor to which you want to bring the custard texture. An herb custard to garnish a savory soup, olive oil custard with a la grecque vegetables, tarragon or bone marrow with beef. Escoffier added diced custards (called a royale) to consomm�. The liquid might be partly vegetable or fruit juice, though fat is a large part of the custard�s exquisite texture and shouldn�t be avoided altogether.

The key to a great custard is achieving an extraordinary texture. Returning to this definition, I�m surprised I didn�t mention the standard custard ratio, which is two eggs per cup of milk. The ratio is a baseline�it can be varied. One egg will thicken 3/4s of a cup of liquid. One egg and two yolks will make a much richer custard than the standard ratio. Using a liquid with a lot of fat will set up a little thicker.

Custards are almost always cooked in a water bath, covered so that they don�t develop a tough skin on top. And cooking them for the right amount of time (knowing when to remove them from the oven, when they've still got some good jiggle so that carryover cooking finishes them, is critical).

So, friends, your goal is to make a custard! Any kind, sweet or savoury, will do!

:siren:

Your deadline is Sunday, March 18th at 11:59pm EST. :siren:

IF YOU POST IN THIS THREAD AND FAIL TO ATTEMPT CUSTARD YOU MUST RECORD YOURSELF COOKING AN OMELET IN THE LIKENESS OF PIKACHU WITH CADBURY EGGS AND JELLYBEANS

:siren:

PLEASE NOTE: IF YOU POST IN THIS THREAD, FAILURE TO MAKE A CUSTARD AND FAILURE TO COMPLETE THE PENALTY CHALLENGE MAY RESULT IN MODERATOR INTERVENTION NOT LIMITED TO HUMILIATING CUSTOM TITLES
:siren:

Here are few ideas but please don�t feel limited to these!

Creme Anglaise/Pouring Custard Recipe
Mushroom Quiche Recipe
Creme Caramel Recipe

Any other custard will do! Feel free to make creme brulee, trifle, pastry cream, ice cream, or any other custardy thing!

And I leave you with this video of GWS superstar Charmmi making a gigapudding:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_8uf23u3Hs

# ¿ Mar 10, 2012 03:59

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 09:27

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA: May 29, 2008

Clockwork Cupcake posted:

What's that? An excuse to make custard? I'll take that, thanks.

What are the custards in the little jars in the OP? They look so good.

Well this is embarrassing. They're a vegan, gluten-free custard from here: http://www.elanaspantry.com/pumpkin-custard/, I stole the picture without even looking at the recipe.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2012 04:48

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA: May 29, 2008

Wroughtirony posted:

Seconding this on both counts.

Also, what do you call that Korean egg dish that's served in a french onion soup crock (for lack of a better word) and tastes like fluffy eggs and onion-y stock? Even if it doesn't qualify as a custard, I want to learn to make it. I guess reply in the chat thread if you're a pussy and don't want to custard.

Any egg-thickened dish will do! I don't really give a gently caress what you actually make!

# ¿ Mar 12, 2012 00:22

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA: May 29, 2008

Dane posted:

REQUESTING RULES CLARIFICATIONS OKAY WHAT IF YOU LIVE IN THIRD WORLD WEIRDO SCANDINAVIAN COUNTRY WITH NO CADBURY'S CREAM EGGS OKAY WHAT?

You have to eat twenty kinder eggs and reenact the passion of the christ with the toys you find inside.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2012 02:19

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA: May 29, 2008

Dane posted:

I made a quiche with sweated down challots, iberico-style ham, pecorino, and added ultrafinely sliced spring onion and serranos. It was yum.

THERE IS A DISTINCT LACK OF PICTURES HERE

# ¿ Mar 13, 2012 00:44

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA: May 29, 2008

The Macaroni posted:

Edit 2: Does ice cream (read: frozen custard) count if the base is made with tempered eggs?

Yes.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2012 19:16

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA: May 29, 2008

InEscape posted:

Making a trifle, but due to my finals schedule it might not be done before Midnight EST. It'll be done before midnight PST. Will I still get in trouble?

I'm so hung over that I hereby declare the deadline extended!

# ¿ Mar 19, 2012 04:16

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 09:27

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA: May 29, 2008

A thing came up. A replacement thing is incoming by the end of the weekend. It will be worth it.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2012 06:24

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