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Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Creepy Fan In Bleachers Watching You More Than Game

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Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.

And another one:

Sandusky Meets Another Inmate With Nickname Tickle Monster

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
GOP Trying To Keep Elderly Voting Base Alive Until November

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
RNC Builds Levee Out Of Poor People To Protect Convention Site

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Gap Between Rich And Poor Named 8th Wonder Of The World

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Romney Apologizes To Nation's 150 Million 'Starving, Filthy Beggars'

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Detectives Overlooked Casey Anthony's 'I Killed My Daughter' AMA On Reddit

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
This isn't from the Onion, but China's party paper falls for Onion joke about Kim

You can't make this poo poo up.

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Remaking The Republican Party-ah, gently caress it, just disenfranchise them minorities.

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Romney Locks Self In Oval Office During Visit To White House

:bravo:

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.

Jeff Wiiver posted:

I should be surprised that people are so willingly to accept that roughly 13% of the American population was killed in shopping incidents in one day, but I'm not. Do the people on Literally Unbelievable just read the headlines or do they actually read the entire article and think "makes sense to me!"?

I'm sure they'll believe whatever they want to (hence all the conservatives touting the Onion's Obama DNC article as proof that NOBUMMER IS GOING TO DESTROY AMERICA AND KILL JESUS)

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Supreme Court To Hear Trial Determining Whether Human Beings Deserve Equal Rights

The Onion, laying it out as it is.

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Nation's Undiscovered Pedophile Coaches Getting Extremely Nervous

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Kim Jong-Un's Wife Escapes North Korea In Long-Range Missile

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
GOP: We'll Accept Higher Taxes If President Obama Gives Us His Dog

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Romney, Ryan Sneak Into DNC While Posing As Caterers

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
America Ends Love Affair With McKayla Maroney After Finding Out She’s 16

Not sure what this is supposed to be making fun of.

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Trump Announces He's A Very Sad Man

Tell us something we didn't already know!

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
New Jersey Residents Avoid Rising Floodwater By Climbing To Top Of Chris Christie

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Israel Vows To Use Veto Power If Chuck Hagel Confirmed As U.S. Secretary Of Defense

loving bring it, Israel.

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.

Jerusalem posted:

“What happened in San Diego was horrible, but that doesn’t mean all gorillas are bad,” Harrington added. “In fact, if every person at that mall had a gorilla, then the tragedy probably never would have even happened in the first place.”

Just fantastic. :allears:

Man, all that's missing is a part about some wingnut conspiracy theory about the Obama administration unleashing gorillas to attack a school or cinema to make gorilla control more popular and it'll be golden.

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Haven’t We All Done Steroids, In A Way?

It's by Lance Armstrong

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Lance Armstrong Admits To Using Performance-Enhancing Drugs To Show Remorse

Man, they're really hammering good ol' Dope.

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Internet Users Demand Less Interactivity

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
I Just Want To Apologize To Manti Te'o For What I Put Him Through By Lennay Kekua

:drat:

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
I guess making fun of Mitt never really gets old, does it?

Romney Makes Desperate, Last-Ditch Bid For Presidency

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.

Thanks, old white dude! :patriot:

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
“Oh man, it’s a good thing no Republicans were watching.”

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
The Onion's still pounding Manti Te'o:

Hoaxed Linebacker Manti Te'o Now Dating 'Scarlett Johansson's Head On Jenny McCarthy's Body'

Onion Manti Te'o posted:

"I found new love through an email asking me to wire $600 to a stranger trapped in Manilla."

At least spell Manila right, man!

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Okay, this is several years old by now, but it's still hilarious and it's what got me into the Onion to begin with: Justin Bieber Found To Be Cleverly Disguised 51-Year-Old Pedophile

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
More Manti Te'o!

Brady Quinn Frantically Trying To Confirm His Online Girlfriend Not A Hoax

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Millions Of Human Beings Experiencing Actual Emotions About J.J. Abrams Directing 'Star Wars'

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
The Onion Demands John Kerry Tell The Truth About His Swift Boat Service

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Nation Excited For Opportunity To Watch Harbaugh Lose Super Bowl

Classic Harbaugh question: which one?

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Superdome lights return as all 53 49ers are lying motionless on ground. Whereabouts of Ray Lewis unknown.

Something to lighten the mood for this despairing 49ers fan!

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
I Feel Very Strongly About The Issue Of Same Sex Marriage Because I Have A Gay Son

by God

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.

"I'm not a monster." :unsmigghh:

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Mississippi Bans Soft Drinks Smaller Than 20 Ounces

And their obesity rate broke 50% at long last.

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Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Emotional Wayne LaPierre Honors Victims Of Background Checks

:drat:

e: South Carolina Defends Right To Fly Hardee's Flag From State Capitol

Jerry Manderbilt has a new favorite as of 18:36 on Apr 1, 2013

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