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I've always liked the short stories about the Supreme Court: Supreme Court Overturns Car Supreme Court Rules Supreme Court Rules Supreme Court Rules Restaurant Patron Must Try This Cheesecake And my favorite point/counterpoints: Footprints Hug Me! vs No, Hug Me!
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Mar 15, 2012 04:41
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Young Freud posted:I remember, from another thread, about the "Planned Parenthood $8 Billion Dollar Abortionplex" story is a good measure of a person's beliefs on abortion. A pro-choice supporter will just laugh it off, but the story is just so unbelievable that it breaks an anti-abortionist's brain. I was at a conference where Baratunde Thurston (former Onion digital editor) spoke and he pointed out that the Abortionplex has its own page on Yelp. The reviews are hilarious. review posted:Cons:
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Jun 22, 2012 05:20
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This is so good. The guy in the HP Cloud commercial looks familiar but I can't place him. "We have 4G, 5G, 6G, all the Gs." New Apple CEO Tim Cook: 'I'm Thinking Printers'
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Jul 19, 2012 07:44
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Between this and the "Users Demand Less Interactivity" article, there's a very frustrated designer at the Onion. It's hilarious. Torrent Of Soap Issues From Wildly Unexpected Part Of Dispenser
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Feb 8, 2013 05:58
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One of my favorite infographics was from a few years ago about Hockey's New Rules, which came out after the last lockout. It's still kinda on the site but all it shows now is a giant NHL logo. All I really remember is: "Penalty box camera to add 20 menacing pounds."
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Mar 29, 2013 03:21
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rear end in a top hat Awarded For rear end in a top hat Behavior By Business Community LeadersThe Onion posted:The black-tie ceremony, an annual custom within the local rear end in a top hat community, was reportedly attended by over 1,000 prominent dicks, some 350 festering mounds of human waste, and 75 unbearable brownnosers, many of whom lauded Thorton for his deep and lasting influence in the field of being a selfish, amoral sack of poo poo.
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Aug 2, 2013 03:53
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Iowa State Fair Guards Told To Shoot Non–Iowa Residents On Sight DES MOINES, IA—Cautioning that non-residents should stay at least 500 feet away from the fairgrounds at all times to ensure their safety, Iowa state police announced Monday that they have ordered law enforcement officials at the upcoming Iowa State Fair in Des Moines to shoot all out-of-state visitors on sight. - - - - Those are OUR Air Supply concerts and cheesecake-onna-stick.
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Aug 7, 2013 07:20
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CNN decided they needed to deny writing the editorial. http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/scarce/cnncom-managing-editor-denies-writing-edito
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Aug 29, 2013 05:09
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Salon has to do something to fill the time between sessions of bitching about Patton Oswalt, might as well complain about the Onion.
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Sep 7, 2013 18:14
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Scientists Believe Hockey Players May Communicate By Banging Sticks Against Boards Once again, last line is the best.
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Dec 14, 2013 20:35
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Report: Maid Of Honor Not Even That Good Of Friends With Bride I love how there are like maybe three sentences in this whole story.
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Feb 24, 2014 03:54
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Man Now Too Exhausted To Repress Both Anger And Sadness “I think I can keep one of them down, but there’s no way I’m gonna keep both of them bottled up,” said Franklin, adding that he had now arrived at the point where he had no choice but to fully experience one of the two emotional states he typically suppresses at all times. Goddamn.
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Oct 22, 2014 07:08
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This is so, so wrong and yet I can't stop laughing at it.
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Oct 26, 2014 20:39
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http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/does-your-nativity-scene-have-these-pieces-1623 Does your Nativity Scene have enough of the right pieces? A lot of them are missing Inflatable Flailing Arm Man.
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Dec 25, 2014 05:54
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An older one, but I still love it: HP Offers 'That Cloud Thing Everyone Is Talking About'
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Jan 22, 2015 07:12
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Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back I was sorely tempted to place this URL in my annual review and call it done.
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Feb 7, 2015 08:54
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8 Things You’re Totally Not Going To Miss About Living With Roommates Whether you’re almost about to move out or just dreaming of the day you finally can, here are some things about roomies no one could possibly miss.
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Mar 23, 2015 04:25
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What have we done to deserve another clickventure so soon? Fight for the Glory of Rome I've had so many adventures and I haven't even left Rome yet!
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Apr 2, 2015 15:48
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7 Famous Athletes Tell Us About About the Greatest Game They Ever Played Torn between which is the best: Gretzky's tale or Jordan's. No, wait, it's Serena Williams winning the Nobel Prize.
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Apr 7, 2015 05:10
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Are you read to Get The Whole Online Experience!? You can leave a funny comment on an internet video!
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Apr 12, 2015 05:15
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A new Clickventure awaits you! Join This Cult! Is there anything better than garbage and food? Let's find out! Jet Jaguar has a new favorite as of 06:20 on May 8, 2015 |
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May 8, 2015 06:17
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Fight Club Sandwich posted:New Clickventure Ending up as a construction worker is the best. This was way too accurate for my day: Report: Putting Head In Hands And Moaning Quietly Still Best Way To Get Through Next Several Seconds
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May 15, 2015 04:48
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Evil Mastermind posted:Study: Average Father Thinks About Sealing In Meat’s Juices 4 To 5 Hours A Day This almost didn't need the article as the headline is perfect, but I'm glad they wrote one anyway. Melissa Gerard, Villanova University posted:“Whether a father is at work, at home, or already marinating another meat, roughly every six seconds on average, his mind starts drifting to thoughts of using charcoal or gas flames to create an evenly browned surface on a cut of meat that traps the juices inside. In a lifetime, he might spend 15 years thinking about how to prevent those juices from escaping.”
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May 19, 2015 07:03
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Experts Say Best Option Now Is Keeping Nation As Comfortable As Possible Till End
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Jun 10, 2015 03:10
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6 Controversial Psychological Experiments That Could Never Happen Today The Fleury-White Experiment may be my favorite.
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Sep 9, 2015 04:34
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Oh my goodness. Our principal's brother-in-law was a Josten's rep. Oddly, every senior class had to buy their robes from Josten's. Sure it was just coincidence. Child’s Loose Grasp On Balloon Only Thing Between Peace And Anarchy At Restaurant
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Oct 8, 2015 05:44
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Neil DeGrasse Tyson contemplates the mysteries of the universe, with one exception: I Never Want to Understand Sand
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Oct 24, 2015 16:28
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This Starwipe quiz is pretty good. I am now very upset for at least the third or fourth time in this quiz.
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Nov 6, 2015 08:42
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NoEyedSquareGuy posted:This is up now, and I'm already on my way to losing between 3 and 91 pounds. Please try hard. Do not quit. It is rewarding to accomplish goals. Many people have accomplished goals before, such as Martin Luther King Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi. ClickHole is looking out for you. Garnish with parsley.
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Nov 10, 2015 05:57
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Aesop Poprock posted:I really want to smell the famous Kermit hands Statler and Waldorf sharing a giant spider torso? The balcony makes more sense now.
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Nov 18, 2015 06:31
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Olanphonia posted:Ted Cruz Provides Detailed Response To Moderator’s Question About Why His Face So loving Infuriating "I believe that’s something every American can agree on.”
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Feb 26, 2016 04:42
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Electric Phantasm posted:9 Geese Who Have Taken Over My Daughter’s Bedroom And What Each Of Their Jobs Seems To Be I love this one so, so much. While the rest of the geese have been incredibly hostile towards me, Goose Of Reason has shown me some basic decency. Also, gently caress you, Sad Kevin.
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Mar 2, 2016 03:47
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Somebody at work was talking about "the cloud" and I was instantly reminded of this. http://www.theonion.com/video/hp-offers-that-cloud-thing-everyone-is-talking-abo-28789 I still lose it at "We have app!" and "1,000."
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Mar 18, 2016 04:23
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Hello Sailor posted:Don't kinkshame. Some people may want to think about Lovitz's sex life and that's healthy and okay. But what about his wife, Morgan Fairchild?
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Mar 29, 2016 07:31
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I think of this every time I clean the litterbox. Like Boxes of poo poo in Your House? Get a Cat
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Jun 19, 2016 07:34
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These People Took Self-Portraits Before And After Angering The Bishop, And The Results Are Incredible When the Bishop gets angry with you, the change is dramatic.
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Jul 17, 2016 03:17
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https://twitter.com/ClickHole/status/758704395680972800 I don't know why this cracks me up so much but it does.
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Jul 28, 2016 22:31
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Experts Advise Against Throwing Laptop Across Office Even Though It Will Feel Incrediblequote:Although it would provide an exhilarating adrenaline rush like you’ve never felt before, whipping your laptop out the nearest window like a Frisbee or taking it in both hands and sending it tumbling wildly down a stairwell is not, ultimately, in the best interests of your personal or professional life.
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Aug 7, 2016 00:43
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The Pros and Cons of Open-Plan OfficesThe Onion posted:Increases employee innovation in finding ways to drown out coworkers
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Aug 23, 2016 04:27
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Bloopsy posted:This one is from way back in the day and has probably been posted here but it still remains my favorite Kelly cartoon. Wow, I could go for a whiskey sour right now. Is the recipe in this contest the one in the book, too? (Also check out that sweet signed print at the bottom of the page!)
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Oct 26, 2016 04:40
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