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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I AM A GIANT ASSBURGER WITH SHITTY WORTHLESS OPINIONS ON POLITICS

A passive aggressive cleric who constantly reminds you that he'll "pray for you"

A kalashtar psion who feels the need to point out on every issue that he is "of two minds about this"

A bard who travels from town to town playing inspire courage at people and encouraging them to fight each other

A fighter who is really really good at combat with his sword but constantly lets the wizard do everything because he is lazy

An Illithid farming dryads so he can "go vegetarian"

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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I AM A GIANT ASSBURGER WITH SHITTY WORTHLESS OPINIONS ON POLITICS

A barbarian who claims to be a wizard, everytime he casts a spell though he blacks out and wakes up covered in blood in a battlefield

Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I AM A GIANT ASSBURGER WITH SHITTY WORTHLESS OPINIONS ON POLITICS

An old man who claims he is waiting for another age category before he goes out to earn his way in the world

Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I AM A GIANT ASSBURGER WITH SHITTY WORTHLESS OPINIONS ON POLITICS

An Orc rogue with a spray on tan, tusk caps, and a wifebeater who insists on calling you brah

Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I AM A GIANT ASSBURGER WITH SHITTY WORTHLESS OPINIONS ON POLITICS

A gnome who sneaks around and is elusive about his incredibly boring and mundane life, just so you will assume he is in on some grand conspiracy

Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I AM A GIANT ASSBURGER WITH SHITTY WORTHLESS OPINIONS ON POLITICS

An elder vampire whos masquerade is organizing the local vampire LARP every month

General Ironicus
Aug 21, 2008

THEM'S GNOMES MOTHERFUCKER
Master of finger-crossing and double-crossing.

Warforged always points out places that sell trail rations "for you guys"

Porkness
Aug 27, 2004


Everybody's scrambling             
for a teat to hang from.


Alchemist who crushes emptied flasks on his forehead.

Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I AM A GIANT ASSBURGER WITH SHITTY WORTHLESS OPINIONS ON POLITICS

A warforged with detachable arms that wont stop making jokes to the town guard "did you ask me for DIS ARM??"

whydirt
Apr 18, 2001


Gaz Posting Brigade

A kender

General Ironicus
Aug 21, 2008

THEM'S GNOMES MOTHERFUCKER
Master of finger-crossing and double-crossing.

The bard always plays that one song that gets stuck in your head the rest of the day.

Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I AM A GIANT ASSBURGER WITH SHITTY WORTHLESS OPINIONS ON POLITICS

A sorcerer who hangs out at the wizard high school just to impress the witches with his "natural prowess"

General Ironicus
Aug 21, 2008

THEM'S GNOMES MOTHERFUCKER
Master of finger-crossing and double-crossing.

Dwarf always insists on getting the short race table at the inn even though it murders your shins.

Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I AM A GIANT ASSBURGER WITH SHITTY WORTHLESS OPINIONS ON POLITICS

A dwarf who constantly berates his female adventuring companions about the cultural reasons they should wear a fake beard

General Ironicus
Aug 21, 2008

THEM'S GNOMES MOTHERFUCKER
Master of finger-crossing and double-crossing.

Shaman invents a 'secret language' to talk to his spirit animal in front of you.

General Ironicus
Aug 21, 2008

THEM'S GNOMES MOTHERFUCKER
Master of finger-crossing and double-crossing.

Warlord never stops to think if you wanted to make a basic melee attack in the first place.

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

IF U CN RD THS, SCK M FCKNG CCK NTL T SPRTS LL VR R FC

Red_Mage posted:

A dwarf who constantly berates his female adventuring companions about the cultural reasons they should wear a fake beard

A female dwarf who constantly berates her male adventuring companions about the cultural reasons they should shave all their body hair

Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I AM A GIANT ASSBURGER WITH SHITTY WORTHLESS OPINIONS ON POLITICS

A rogue with points in Profession: Accountant who wont stop informing you of your exact xp total if he were to slit your throat

InfiniteJesters
Jan 26, 2012


A player who decides to make the Adoring Fan from Elder Scrolls IV as his player character.

Neraren
Sep 15, 2006
Random Nerd #753897

The dragonkin who insists on telling you all about how their soul is really a chubby human teenage girl.

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

IF U CN RD THS, SCK M FCKNG CCK NTL T SPRTS LL VR R FC

Red_Mage posted:

A rogue with points in Profession: Accountant who won't stop stealing all the gold...legally

whydirt
Apr 18, 2001


Gaz Posting Brigade

A wizard with a dwarf henchman he calls the Human Floating Disc.

Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I AM A GIANT ASSBURGER WITH SHITTY WORTHLESS OPINIONS ON POLITICS

The thri-kreen who keeps printing off copies of the "Mammal Privilege Checklist" and slipping them in your bag of holding

General Ironicus
Aug 21, 2008

THEM'S GNOMES MOTHERFUCKER
Master of finger-crossing and double-crossing.

Wizard only uses cantrips because "I'm just that kind of guy"

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

IF U CN RD THS, SCK M FCKNG CCK NTL T SPRTS LL VR R FC

A paladin who will only lay hands on the members of the opposite sex

Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I AM A GIANT ASSBURGER WITH SHITTY WORTHLESS OPINIONS ON POLITICS

Frugal wizard who lectures you on how much these components cost everytime you ask him to cast a spell

Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I AM A GIANT ASSBURGER WITH SHITTY WORTHLESS OPINIONS ON POLITICS

Captain Foo posted:

A paladin who will only lay hands on hot young bodies of the same sex

General Ironicus
Aug 21, 2008

THEM'S GNOMES MOTHERFUCKER
Master of finger-crossing and double-crossing.

Amputated elf war veteran insists he's a victim of the same otherizing as half-elves.

whydirt
Apr 18, 2001


Gaz Posting Brigade

A fighter with ranks and skill focus in Profession: Baker, just so he'd be able to meaningfully contribute to the party. His cakes aren't very tasty since it's a cross-class skill.

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

IF U CN RD THS, SCK M FCKNG CCK NTL T SPRTS LL VR R FC

Captain Foo posted:

A male dwarf paladin who will only lay hands on the female members of the adventuring party with beards

General Ironicus
Aug 21, 2008

THEM'S GNOMES MOTHERFUCKER
Master of finger-crossing and double-crossing.

Druid never leaves wild shape, you suspect him to be a talking fox.

Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I AM A GIANT ASSBURGER WITH SHITTY WORTHLESS OPINIONS ON POLITICS

A tiefling warlock who won't acknowledge the damage that second hand smoke does to your lungs

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

IF U CN RD THS, SCK M FCKNG CCK NTL T SPRTS LL VR R FC

whydirt posted:

A fighter with ranks and skill focus in Profession: Baker, just so he'd be able to meaningfully contribute to the party. His cakes aren't very tasty since it's a cross-class skill.

A druid with ranks and skill focus in Profession: Baker because he wants to get stoned all the time

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

IF U CN RD THS, SCK M FCKNG CCK NTL T SPRTS LL VR R FC

A bag of holding that just wants to hold your hand

Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I AM A GIANT ASSBURGER WITH SHITTY WORTHLESS OPINIONS ON POLITICS

A vampire peer pressuring you into taking drugs just so he can get high

General Ironicus
Aug 21, 2008

THEM'S GNOMES MOTHERFUCKER
Master of finger-crossing and double-crossing.

Halfling starts all conversations with "How's the weather up there?"

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

IF U CN RD THS, SCK M FCKNG CCK NTL T SPRTS LL VR R FC

Red_Mage posted:

A vampire peer pressuring you into taking drugs just so he can get high

The druid who agrees and then goes sunbathing all day

Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I AM A GIANT ASSBURGER WITH SHITTY WORTHLESS OPINIONS ON POLITICS

The assassin who puts tons of points in hide but none in move silently, leaving you to wonder exactly what the gently caress is making that thumping and breathy rasping all the time

whydirt
Apr 18, 2001


Gaz Posting Brigade

Emo vampire who took a level in Cleric in order to self-mutilate through turning

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Porkness
Aug 27, 2004


Everybody's scrambling             
for a teat to hang from.


The bloatmage with ranks in Perform (Dance)

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