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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Dungeons & Douchebags
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 A passive aggressive cleric who constantly reminds you that he'll "pray for you"

A kalashtar psion who feels the need to point out on every issue that he is "of two minds about this"

A bard who travels from town to town playing inspire courage at people and encouraging them to fight each other

A fighter who is really really good at combat with his sword but constantly lets the wizard do everything because he is lazy

An Illithid farming dryads so he can "go vegetarian"

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:15
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# ¿ May 19, 2013 16:51
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 A barbarian who claims to be a wizard, everytime he casts a spell though he blacks out and wakes up covered in blood in a battlefield

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:16
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 An old man who claims he is waiting for another age category before he goes out to earn his way in the world

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:17
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 An Orc rogue with a spray on tan, tusk caps, and a wifebeater who insists on calling you brah

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:18
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 A gnome who sneaks around and is elusive about his incredibly boring and mundane life, just so you will assume he is in on some grand conspiracy

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:20
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 An elder vampire whos masquerade is organizing the local vampire LARP every month

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:21
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 A warforged with detachable arms that wont stop making jokes to the town guard "did you ask me for DIS ARM??"

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:22
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 A sorcerer who hangs out at the wizard high school just to impress the witches with his "natural prowess"

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:24
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 A dwarf who constantly berates his female adventuring companions about the cultural reasons they should wear a fake beard

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:25
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 A rogue with points in Profession: Accountant who wont stop informing you of your exact xp total if he were to slit your throat

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:27
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 The thri-kreen who keeps printing off copies of the "Mammal Privilege Checklist" and slipping them in your bag of holding

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:28
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 Frugal wizard who lectures you on how much these components cost everytime you ask him to cast a spell

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:30
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

Captain Foo posted:

A paladin who will only lay hands on hot young bodies of the same sex
# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:31
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 A tiefling warlock who won't acknowledge the damage that second hand smoke does to your lungs

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:33
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 A vampire peer pressuring you into taking drugs just so he can get high

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:34
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 The assassin who puts tons of points in hide but none in move silently, leaving you to wonder exactly what the gently caress is making that thumping and breathy rasping all the time

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:36
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

General Ironicus posted:

Halfling starts all conversations with "How's the weather up there?"

An overweight goliath who starts all conversations with "how's it hanging" while pointing toward his dick

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:37
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 The Lawful Neutral mystic who insists upon speaking in his alignment language that "you gaijin wouldnt understand"

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:39
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 Hipster fighter who was into spiked chains "before they were mainstream"

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:40
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 A bard who only does Styx covers

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:41
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 A werewolf who spends all day setting you up to ask "were you raised by wolves?"

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:41
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 The Ranger who insists upon wearing a tail and spends each night "relieving" his animal companion

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:45
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 A Monster with all its skill points in Craft: Catchphrase

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:46
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 An elf who insists upon reminding you that he was "doing this before you were born"

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:47
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 The skeleton archer who won't stop making boner jokes

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:48
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

Captain Foo posted:

Cleric who claims one of these bongs is a holy pendant

The fighter who decided that silk rope was a better investment than hemp

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:49
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 A paladin of chaos that destabilizes economies through defacing money with mustaches

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:51
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 The guy who doesn't get that salt to flesh made meat does not qualify as organic

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:52
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 Mr Johnson who books you a job at his house doing his laundry and picking up his dry cleaning

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:54
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 A 2000 year old vampire who spends all his time editing wikipedia and desperately trying to avoid breaching the masquerade when they add [citation needed] tags to his work

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:56
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 The sorcerer who follows the town crier pointing out that "maybe if he had a wand this would not have happened" after every crime report.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:57
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 The elementalists boyfriend who's pet name for her is Thunder Thighs

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 03:59
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 The Raptoran Graffiti artist with a stick of eternal chalk

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 04:00
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 The Black Dragon whos breath attack is Lysergic Acid

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 04:01
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 Wizard PUA articles on how and when to use the Charm Person method

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 04:04
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

PlasmaMan posted:

Seeker insists on summoning only free-range spirits

enchanter who claims your tower shield is totally magic now because he put a bird on it

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 04:09
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 The chosen one child hero of the land, now that he is in his 30s and undergoing a serious midlife crisis

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 04:12
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 Atheist commoner who refuses to accept magical healing from that "preist who believes in the invisible sky wizard Mystra"

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 05:28
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

Thuryl posted:

A xenophobic elf who insists on referring to half-elves as "half-humans".

That old man on the corner who keeps referring to Drizzt as "one of the good ones"

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 05:35
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# ¿ May 19, 2013 16:51
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Red_Mage
Jul 23, 2007

I should probably keep to posting about grognards in TGD, because when I discuss actual real-world politics with people who know what they're talking about, it becomes clear that I have trouble seeing things without a ruleset and character sheets.

 A sorcerer proud of his Evard's Black Tentacles 1-15 DVD Box Set

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 05:48
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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Dungeons & Douchebags