[ADMIN CHALLENGE] A goon will eat dog food on video or be banned

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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > [ADMIN CHALLENGE] A goon will eat dog food on video or be banned

duckfarts: Jul 2, 2010; Ask me about Alpha Protocol

Starter Wiggin posted:

Theoretically, could the OP eat the kibble cereal-style, in milk?

Water; he's on a $1 budget, remember?

# ? Mar 21, 2012 07:03

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# ? May 24, 2013 11:56

plaguedoctor: Jun 26, 2008; I CAN DUMP MY GIRLFRIEND CAUSE SHE'S LIKE A WHORE, RIGHT GUYS? RIGHT???

The White Dragon posted:

Yeah realistically he should be buying that nasty off-brand poo poo from farm supply chains like Del's. It's like 25 cents a can and I can't feed it to my dogs because it smells so bad it makes me want to throw up.

Exactly. The rules for this need to be locked down tight.

I don't want to see some guy eating beef bourguignon a la Alpo, or arugula and spring greens salad topped with Purina croutons and a light chipotle vinaigrette.

I want to see some dude straight up eating dog food.

Nothing else will satisfy.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 07:09

Pon de Bundy: Dec 29, 2006; God I fucking love Diablo 3 gold, it even paid for this shitty title

Oh god it feels like 2005 all over again and I love it. God I hope somebody shits their pants and makes a thread.

Somebody else eat the dog food before him.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 07:17

Captain Invictus: Apr 5, 2005; It costs you four hundred thousand dollars to change this avatar...for twelve seconds.

Madkal posted:

My next door neighbour used to eat dog biscuits. He claimed it was full of protein and tasted good.

When I was 12, I was dared to eat a box of Milk Bones by some kids at school. Turns out Milk Bones taste better than some actual human biscuits/crackers. I also got 10 bucks for it, and in Dog Dollars, that's like 70 dollars!

Glitterbomber posted:

...They shouldn't eat poo poo either. Like, yea they WILL eat it but it's not good for them! I mean, people and animals WILL eat all kinds of foods, it doesn't mean it's good for them!

My dog does this all the time. They can eat their own poo poo exactly once, the second time they digest it, their body pulls out whatever nutrients were left over when their body digested the food in the first place, and the second poo poo is basically all indigestible stuff and poisonous. She can apparently tell the difference between the normal and poison shits. That's what the vet said, anyways. I still loving hate it when my dog does it though because it's seriously dry heave-inducing

# ? Mar 21, 2012 07:18

Starter Wiggin: Feb 1, 2009; Screw the enemy's gate man, I've got a fucking TAIL!
Do you know how crazy the ladies go for those?

Pon de Bundy posted:

Oh god it feels like 2005 all over again and I love it. God I hope somebody shits their pants and makes a thread.

Somebody else eat the dog food before him.

If we can get the rules locked down, I'll try. Our dog food smells like literal rear end (as I'm sure it is), but I think I can do it cereal-style. Like, if I use under a dollar worth of milk and food combined, does that qualify?

# ? Mar 21, 2012 07:21

Pon de Bundy: Dec 29, 2006; God I fucking love Diablo 3 gold, it even paid for this shitty title

Starter Wiggin posted:

If we can get the rules locked down, I'll try. Our dog food smells like literal rear end (as I'm sure it is), but I think I can do it cereal-style. Like, if I use under a dollar worth of milk and food combined, does that qualify?

Dude if you eat dog food on camera, I don't think but the most spergiest of goons would get mad about the rules.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 07:31

Herr Tog: Jun 18, 2011

And Now I await videos.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 07:39

NuKe-: Dec 7, 2004

I've had a friend that's eaten dog jerky before (he raided our friend's pantry in the dark, found what appeared to be jerky, and came downstairs with it).

My friend eventually told him it was dog jerky, but it didn't stop him, he said it tasted pretty good.

I assume kibble won't be that bad

# ? Mar 21, 2012 07:39

Detective Thompson: Nov 9, 2007; Oh well looky what what we got ourselves over here.

I've rethought my stance on this issue and I believe the OP should eat a dog for food.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 07:41

Tupperwarez: Apr 4, 2004; "phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Captain Invictus posted:

My dog does this all the time. They can eat their own poo poo exactly once, the second time they digest it, their body pulls out whatever nutrients were left over when their body digested the food in the first place, and the second poo poo is basically all indigestible stuff and poisonous.

This sounds like a description of an alchemical reagent. Like something you'd find in a glass vial in a medieval apothecary, labeled "Potent Hound Feces, Bowel Tempered"

. . .

BRB, modding Skyrim...

# ? Mar 21, 2012 07:43

SmileShot!: Jan 29, 2011

A Man With A Plan posted:

I've tried my dogs (dry) food and treats before. The taste was somewhere between sawdust and cornstarch, with the vaguest hint of chicken bouillon. I mean, if it were a choice between starving and dog food I'd go Beneful without a problem.

E:

I think the stuff I had was Purina? I'll be generous- OP, eat the purina.

I don't know how to come off without sounding weird but here goes: I have no experience with dog food (except a biscuit I tried.as.a.child and.god it was terrible. Like anti-flavor.) But.i have experience with cat food. Friskies wet is bones in a can. Had a friend that use to eat it with her cat (i have weird friends) and fancy feast makes a premo cat meal thing that is literally whole white meat chicken, carrots and peas is a chicken stock gravy. (not that blended crap, everuthing was whole and un-smooshed) My cat turned his nose to it and after looking at the ingredient list with care I tried it. Needed salt but it was pretty good. Better then some human food i've eaten.
What I'm saying is eat tiny meals and go for cat food. Dog food tastes.like poo poo.

Also, why has no one asked how op troll is gonna brush their teeth with a spoon?

Edit:
My dog does this all the time. They can eat their own poo poo exactly once, the second time they digest it, their body pulls out whatever nutrients were left over when their body digested the food in the first place, and the second poo poo is basically all indigestible stuff and poisonous. She can apparently tell the difference between the normal and poison shits. That's what the vet said, anyways. I still loving hate it when my dog does it though because it's seriously dry heave-inducing
[/quote]

Throw some pineapple into his bowl. Should get him to knock that poo poo off. Makes their poo poo smell non ediable.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 07:44

Raiad: Feb 1, 2005; Without the law, there wouldn't be lawyers.

I'm thinking he should eat 2046 Calories of the dog food. Not necessarily in one sitting, but he should definitely measure out the amount needed in each video. Plus, that's a pretty good daily calorie intake, so it should be appropriate.

Also, instead of using milk, you should use beer or some other alcoholic drink. Let's not even fool ourselves about what the money the OP will be saving on food will go towards.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 07:46

Pon de Bundy: Dec 29, 2006; God I fucking love Diablo 3 gold, it even paid for this shitty title

I have a feeling this thread will be more disgusting than the keyboard gunk thread.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 07:48

Spongebob Tampax: Mar 30, 2011; pls leave this guy alone he's a p. good poster and I like his moves no more poopatars tia

avatar courtesy of Martello's O3 pay, drinking problem, and financial irresponsibility

BaconBits posted:

An eighth of skunk vitamins goes for about 20$ on campus.

Obviously weed, right?

Do TCC rules on prices not apply in GBS?

# ? Mar 21, 2012 08:16

spunkshui: Oct 5, 2011

NuKe- posted:

I've had a friend that's eaten dog jerky before (he raided our friend's pantry in the dark, found what appeared to be jerky, and came downstairs with it).

My friend eventually told him it was dog jerky, but it didn't stop him, he said it tasted pretty good.

I assume kibble won't be that bad

Idk man that dog jerky stuff looks delicious.

The dog doesn't go as crazy for his regular stuff.

He does think cat food is bomb as gently caress though.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 08:25

House Louse: Oct 21, 2010

Stairs posted:

BaconBits if you find a friend to help you recreate the Doggy Chow Scene from "Showgirls" (complete with makeup) I will donate $20 to the charity of your choosing.

I suggest the ASPCA.

(After you eat the dog food, of course.)

Me too. +

if afterwards you storm off camera saying "I thought this was supposed to be art."

# ? Mar 21, 2012 08:34

Costello Jello: Oct 24, 2003; It had to start somewhere

The OP should have to eat Beneful Healthy Radiance or be banned. He said that it was good enough for him in the OP, but now he wants expensive, delicious wet food?

My dog is outraged.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 08:36

BigHead: Jul 25, 2003; Huh?

Pon de Bundy posted:

I have a feeling this thread will be more disgusting than the keyboard gunk thread.

Fun Fact: I had a roommate in college who was a super heroin junky. He was so godawful poor from buying heroin (go figure) that he ate dog food + ketchup, the latter of which he smuggled out of the cafeteria. He bought the really big bags like BaconBits astutely recommends. He lasted a long time on a diet of dog food + ketchup, and whatever else we shared with him, before his parents threw him in rehab. We ratted him out.

Cross my heart and hope to die, that's a true story.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 08:41

duckfarts: Jul 2, 2010; Ask me about Alpha Protocol

Pon de Bundy posted:

Dude if you* eat dog food on camera, I don't think but the most spergiest of goons would get mad about the rules.

*OP not included

# ? Mar 21, 2012 08:52

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

Spongebob Tampax posted:

Obviously weed, right?

Do TCC rules on prices not apply in GBS?

If only real skunk vitamins could be acquired for a dollar...

# ? Mar 21, 2012 09:16

Angela Christine: Oct 4, 2008; LIL CUTIES

particle409 posted:

Hahahahaha!

Avoid Ol� Roy Dog Food: Cheap Ingredients Make it Fast Food for Dogs
http://www.dogandcatexperts.com/ol-roy-dog-food/

What does that even mean? Is it horse meat? Armadillo? Roadkill? Where does the protein come from!?

Maybe! When you see unspecified "meat byproducts" they may not know what is in it, they just bought the cheapest stuff the rendering plant was selling. You can't even tell what it is with DNA analysis, because the rendering process denatures the DNA. Sometime trace amounts of anesthetics are found, leading to speculation that anesthetized pets have been sent to the rendering plant instead of a crematorium. Could be dead zoo animals. Could be roadkill. "Beef byproducts" may be lips and assholes, but it's all cow. When they list mystery "meat" there is no telling what sort of creature it came from.

Lots of toddlers have tried pet food and survived. As a baby I used to trade digestive biscuits to our German Shepard for his Milk Bones.

My mother frantically rushed me to the doctor, who apparently said it was fine in small amounts, good for the teeth. Later I discovered Cat Chow, which blows milk bone right out of the water flavour-wise, it is nice and tangy while the stuff for dogs was pretty bland.

Despite eating perhaps as much as two cups of pet food as a kid, I turned out fine. Just fine.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 09:42

Danny Bro Pty Ltd: Sep 6, 2011; by Y Kant Ozma Post

Don't let me down OP.

You can do it!

# ? Mar 21, 2012 09:54

Starter Wiggin: Feb 1, 2009; Screw the enemy's gate man, I've got a fucking TAIL!
Do you know how crazy the ladies go for those?

Despite the video evidence to the contrary, I am not a 12 year old boy.
God, I'm so sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUV3...eature=youtu.be

# ? Mar 21, 2012 09:57

Regiscake: May 17, 2009

Starter Wiggin posted:

Despite the video evidence to the contrary, I am not a 12 year old boy.
God, I'm so sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUV3...eature=youtu.be

After watching that poo poo I'm pretty sure BaconBits is better off banned.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 10:02

BillNyeTheNaziSpy: May 27, 2010

You may be 12, but that's almost 80 in dog years.

If BaconBits eats more/is more disgusting in his/her attempt, shall he/she be not banned?

# ? Mar 21, 2012 10:06

concerned mom: Apr 22, 2003

Starter Wiggin posted:

Despite the video evidence to the contrary, I am not a 12 year old boy.
God, I'm so sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUV3...eature=youtu.be

Please update in a day or two on smoothness of skin and glossiness of coat.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 10:06

Captain Invictus: Apr 5, 2005; It costs you four hundred thousand dollars to change this avatar...for twelve seconds.

SmileShot! posted:

Throw some pineapple into his bowl. Should get him to knock that poo poo off. Makes their poo poo smell non ediable.

But then there's the cost of pineapple and also the issue of there now being twice as much poo poo on the ground in the back yard.

Starter Wiggin posted:

Despite the video evidence to the contrary, I am not a 12 year old boy.
God, I'm so sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUV3...eature=youtu.be

I call foul, you're clearly not chewing it up and swallowing it, you're taking that dog food as if they were pills! SAVOR THE FLAVOR.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 10:11

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; CARDIOVORAX BELIVES A POLICEMAN WHO GROPES A WOMAN SHOULD LOSE HIS JOB, AND DO A HUNDRED HOURS OF COMUNITY SERVICE UNDER THE PAIN OF GOING TO PRISON IF HE BREAKS HIS PAROLE

Starter Wiggin posted:

Despite the video evidence to the contrary, I am not a 12 year old boy.
God, I'm so sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUV3...eature=youtu.be

I hope filming that was worth it for you. I don't think watching it was for me.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 10:18

Pththya-lyi: Nov 8, 2009; Ia-R'lyehl Cihuiha flgagnl id Ia!

Thanks for taking one for the team, Starter Wiggin!

BaconBits, please use soap for the love of God. At least try collecting some liquid soap from the dispensers in the public bathrooms if you're too cheap to buy some for yourself. You could carry it in a plastic cup and everything!

# ? Mar 21, 2012 10:18

duckfarts: Jul 2, 2010; Ask me about Alpha Protocol

Captain Invictus posted:

But then there's the cost of pineapple and also the issue of there now being twice as much poo poo on the ground in the back yard.

I call foul, you're clearly not chewing it up and swallowing it, you're taking that dog food as if they were pills! SAVOR THE FLAVOR.

I heard crunching at the beginning at least.

We have a known quantity to top now; Baconbits, the bowl is in your court.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 10:25

Lt. Chips: Feb 29, 2008; "No, mom loves me more!"
Either way, Archie will NEVER be impressed.

OP has been beaten to the punch. He needs to up the ante and eat the dog food while standing in a toilet.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 10:39

brylcreem: Oct 29, 2007

Starter Wiggin posted:

Despite the video evidence to the contrary, I am not a 12 year old boy.
God, I'm so sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUV3...eature=youtu.be

I happen to like 12 year old... anyway.

Good on you for eating dog food, I guess?

# ? Mar 21, 2012 10:49

Cerebral Mayhem: Jul 18, 2000; Very useful on the planet Delphon, where they communicate with their eyebrows

The OP should recreate this scene in Red Dwarf: (forward to 2:15)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkIJcVYQZkk

# ? Mar 21, 2012 11:04

Kaninrail: Dec 9, 2007; The most dreaded of all hobos are the squeegee-wielders. Run them over.

I eagerly await the video and suggest the OP submit it also to the manufacturer of your delightful dogmeal for use in a commercial. Perhaps we'll get some stroke of divine luck and we'll see a late-night ad placement of a goon chowing down on dog food.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 11:07

SUPERFINE CONCUBINE: Jun 28, 2008; ☆ catgroove ☆

Starter Wiggin posted:

Despite the video evidence to the contrary, I am not a 12 year old boy.
God, I'm so sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUV3...eature=youtu.be

Man the crunching was so loud it sounded like your teeth were being shattered, but hopefully it'll do wonders for your digestion!!

The OP is so enthusiastic about this challenge I think he really wanted to eat dog food all along. I love a world where a guy tricks himself into 'ironically' eating pet chow.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 11:33

Aziraphale: Jun 3, 2003; I joined the SAF and all I got was this lousy avatar

the posted:

Well I hope he decides to buy the high grade dog food with real meat instead of the lovely off brand.

Note: Make him eat the lovely off brand.

Ol' Roy. It is the worst dog food on the planet. It makes actual dogs sick, so imagine if this jackwagon ate a bowl of it.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 11:51

Photex: Apr 6, 2009; T E
E M
L P
L L
T O
A Y
L E
E E

This thread delivered in less than 5 pages, i'm amazed.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 11:56

DrManiac: Feb 29, 2012

OP, I think the only way you can win this now is by eating the cheap wet stuff. Preferably straight out of the can like in The Road Warrior.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 12:06

Davethehedgehog: Jun 7, 2003; Choose me, I am warm!

Starter Wiggin posted:

Despite the video evidence to the contrary, I am not a 12 year old boy.
God, I'm so sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUV3...eature=youtu.be

I would have guessed 13-14, the hat doesn't really help. Regardless I am very impressed indeed, that looked really really hard. Salmon dog food and milk, there is no way I would eat that.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 12:08

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# ? May 24, 2013 11:56

stickyfngrdboy: Oct 21, 2010; Bitter,
probably

Starter Wiggin posted:

Despite the video evidence to the contrary, I am not a 12 year old boy.
God, I'm so sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUV3...eature=youtu.be

You are a legend.

You, 1:23-ish posted:

Not really a terrible flavour

Your FACE, 1:23-ish posted:

REALLY A TERRIBLE FLAVOUR

Your brain, 1:23-ish posted:

Do not eat any more of this. I am making you make that face for a reason

The sounds. Oh god the sounds.

# ? Mar 21, 2012 12:15

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