hatching Cadbury Creme Eggs: the horrifying opposite of Chickam

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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > hatching Cadbury Creme Eggs: the horrifying opposite of Chickam

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

If anyone knocks on your door and introduces himself as a member of the Animals Friend Society here's what you do:

You run. You slam the door in his loving face, and you get the hell out of there through the back. Figure out how. Figure out how, right the gently caress now. You don't waste time hemming and hawing and trying to talk your way out of there. Whatever you do, do not mention this thing. Not even a little.

He might claim to be a member of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, instead. Sometimes they do that. Sometimes they really are. Don't fall for it. Run.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:05

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# ? May 21, 2013 22:58

Toriori: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

particle409 posted:

It's stillborn? Give it a proper funeral.

I vote a viking funeral

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:05

Bash Ironfist: Aug 16, 2008

Someone show this to Velvet Sparrow, stat.

Also you should eat it. It probably tastes like sugar and horror.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:09

Tatum Girlparts: Sep 8, 2011; Do you think you can destroy me with your Nexus? I who served Thuganomics, I who commanded The Cenation, hundreds of years before you were on NXT?

It was made of nougat though, right? Gross or not, if that's a nougat chick I'll start a drat farm.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:14

anglerfish: Aug 22, 2009

You're going to have this problem unless you buy your Cadbury eggs range-free.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:16

Rickycat: Nov 26, 2007; Eins! Zwei! Drei! Alle!

anglerfish posted:

You're going to have this problem unless you buy your Cadbury eggs range-free.

Why stop there? Start making Boca-Chicks and you'll have a monopoly on the market.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:18

That Turkey Story: Mar 30, 2003

That's cool.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:20

SouthLAnd: Jan 5, 2011; This is a front row seat to the greatest show on earth.

This is spectacular.

I hope you create more weird creations...in the name of science of course.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:20

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

Rickycat posted:

Why stop there? Start making Boca-Chicks and you'll have a monopoly on the market.

If you think it's that easy to get one up on Cadbury, then you don't know Cadbury.

John Cadbury was a quiet, kind man. Things just sort of got away from him after a while. He made mistakes. He made so many mistakes. But he always meant well. He wanted it all to work. He made a few deals he shouldn't have, did things he wasn't proud of, but he tried to make up for it in the end. Balance the cosmic scales, as it were.

His son George, though...

Look, this thing scares the crap out of me. I'm pretty sure nobody is supposed to have it, okay?

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:28

epopt: Feb 12, 2008

Delightfully disgusting.

I'll never eat a creme egg again, thank you good sir.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:32

Sodium Chloride: Dec 31, 2007

Cadbury have really gone downhill since Kraft bought them.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:33

Breaky: Jul 21, 2006; STRIKE FIRST
STRIKE HARD
NO MERCY SIR

What about the caramel filled ones?

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:34

Rickycat: Nov 26, 2007; Eins! Zwei! Drei! Alle!

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

I'm pretty sure nobody is supposed to have it, okay?

You're not welcome in this thread of science.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:35

Empty Sandwich: Apr 22, 2008; Goatse mugs for any festive occasion.

SouthLAnd posted:

This is spectacular.

I hope you create more weird creations...in the name of science of course.

Oh, there are more. I just have to hatch them.

stickyfngrdboy posted:

It's horrible, yet strangely beautiful. Good work.

Thank you. I've never done science things before.

Super Aggro Crag posted:

What the gently caress. Did you eat it?

Man, I'm not going to eat that thing. I don't even know what it is. But I am kind of curious about the leftover shell and yolk.

jerkstore77 posted:

That's Cadbury Balut.

Good loving Lord.

All the more reason not to eat it, maybe:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balut_%28egg%29

WMain00 posted:

That's just loving terrifying. Thanks for putting me off Creme Eggs forever. Jackass.

I'm sorry.

I'm just taking the process along its natural course. The conceptual distance between a chicken and an egg might be huge, except that we know that the one comes from the other, and the other from the one. This feels the same. Except with terrible and ignorant Frankenstein-science involved.

gobbledygoat posted:

This is beautiful, send that poo poo to the Centre Pompidou ASAP.

I wonder if they'll ever open a zoo.

Pipski posted:

And with that one post Cadbury's share price fell off a cliff.

I hope not. Incubating them is fun, but I like eating them, too. (Just not both things to the same egg.)

particle409 posted:

It's stillborn? Give it a proper funeral.

I think it's going into a jar of formaldehyde or something.

Rickycat posted:

Dude you're playing God here. It's a slippery slope. Next you'll turn your eyes on Peeps. I'm fairly certain that you're about to break the First of the Seven Seals, here.

Nah. . . I don't like Peeps.

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Look, this thing scares the crap out of me. I'm pretty sure nobody is supposed to have it, okay?

I think it'll be fine. It's all in the name of learning.

Breaky posted:

What about the caramel filled ones?

Hmm. . . well, there's still some time before Easter to find out.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:38

Philthy: Jan 28, 2003; Oh yeah.

These are a delicacy in Newark, NJ.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:47

Use Less: Jun 13, 2007; Non-Consumerist

This is why we need to ban High Fructose Corn Syrup.

Poor little guy probably died from all the HFCS in the egg creme.

Although the sweet-salty combo might be good. Eat it, then please describe in pornographic detail how it tasted, for science.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:48

Rickycat: Nov 26, 2007; Eins! Zwei! Drei! Alle!

Use Less posted:

This is why we need to ban High Fructose Corn Syrup.

Poor little guy probably died from all the HFCS in the egg creme.

Although the sweet-salty combo might be good. Eat it, then please describe in pornographic detail how it tasted, for science.

But I saw a commercial one time on some channel and the random guy said HFCS was okay, though. I don't know what to believe anymore.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:50

Yaos: Feb 22, 2003; She is a cat of significant gravy.

This does not make any sense, bunnies lay the eggs, why would a bird be in there? Bunnies can't have sex with birds, that's my fetish and so far I've been very unfulfilled.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:52

Pete Campbell: Feb 23, 2006; Same price as a chip and dip!

How did you incubate it without melting the chocolate? Riddle me that, Empty Sandwich.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:53

AKA Pseudonym: May 16, 2004; A dashing and sophisticated young man

I want a bucket of fried creme egg chicken

# ? Apr 3, 2012 21:53

12_String: Feb 28, 2007; Broccoli is brain food.

Oh my god. That's......horrible.

You are a loving genius.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 22:03

A Buttery Pastry: Sep 4, 2011

Yaos posted:

This does not make any sense, bunnies lay the eggs, why would a bird be in there? Bunnies can't have sex with birds, that's my fetish and so far I've been very unfulfilled.

Look at how wrong you are.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 22:05

Starter Wiggin: Feb 1, 2009; Screw the enemy's gate man, I've got a fucking TAIL!
Do you know how crazy the ladies go for those?

Would Smashmouth have eaten these eggs? The world may never know.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 22:07

Velvet Sparrow: May 15, 2006; 'Hope' is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune, without the words, and never stops--at all.

My entire family just screamed with laughter, congrats.

...and now I am seriously reconsidering hatching chicks in 3 days. If ANYTHING LIKE THAT comes out of our eggs I'm going to set the house on fire and just drive away from the site. You can look up incubating tips online, there are numerous factors that come into play such as humidity, temperature and ventilation, all must be perfect in order to hatch eggs.

What went wrong in YOUR case, I don't even want to think about.

We got our kid on April 1st, by the way. We set this up and started loudly asking each other, 'Did you hear that? Is that peeping?!' She came tearing out and looked in the incubator to see this:

She only bought it for second before she laughed at us, though. We mess with her all the time so she's gotten pretty sharp.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 22:13

Songbearer: Jul 12, 2007; Fuck you say?

I like to think someone dared you to stick your little cock in a creme egg, and you misconstrued it in the most incredible fashion possible. This is amazing.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 22:17

Everdraed: Sep 7, 2003; _{spankety, spankety, spankety}

Not alive you say?

Well, he seems pretty perky to me!

# ? Apr 3, 2012 22:25

Canuckistan: Jan 14, 2004

^^^^
simply fantastic

# ? Apr 3, 2012 22:28

Hogburto: Sep 26, 2005; BASELESS ACCUSATIONS

Everdraed comes from a terrible place.

Someone make a solid chocolate Passion of Christ. It's for Easter, after all.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 22:31

Feranon: Sep 10, 2011; People were less prepared for a double juggalo presidency than they ever imagined.

Don't stop until you get a living one, you'll need its power to defend yourself from the agents.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 22:32

backifran: Mar 22, 2009; I love BYOB

I hope you didn't waste any of the cream, pop that bird in your mouth and lick it all off

# ? Apr 3, 2012 22:35

Rickycat: Nov 26, 2007; Eins! Zwei! Drei! Alle!

Everdraed posted:

Not alive you say?

Well, he seems pretty perky to me!

Ahhh the beauty of life.

# ? Apr 3, 2012 22:35

Suntory BOSS: Apr 17, 2006

I guess that's what happens when a man-sized bipedal rabbit creature lays eggs. Who would have guessed that Easter, a humble holiday dedicated to the walking dead, could be so utterly horrifying?

# ? Apr 3, 2012 22:36