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Farbtoner
May 17, 2011

by Y Kant Ozma Post


Frog posted:

The first sentence on his kickstarter page:


The man doesn't know when to use a loving apostrophe and he plans to make his own game with other people's money. If he can get money using this site, I guess anyone can.

That kind of sloppiness is pretty pervasive throughout. You have a lot of people who are shooting their pitch videos with their cell phones* while simultaneously asking for tens of thousands of dollars in cash.

*For more fun check out his writing samples.

Anyways, to move away from all the bad videogames:



When even your footprints have to tell people to deal with it

Twee nerdporn

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Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.


WickedIcon posted:

The Arkh Project honestly makes me feel really loving dirty thinking about it because of how horrible of a person its creator is. Not only is the thing itself a scam, but the impression I've been getting is that if you aren't a transgendered person of color (and only specific ethnicities at that) who acts a specific way, the creator of Arkh Project actively hates you and hopes you die a horrible, painful death. He is an incredibly lovely and hateful person and likely a thief on top of that.

The creator moved it off Kickstarter onto another website that takes the money immediately and doesn't return it if it doesn't meet the goal, in fact. And produced a bunch of really creepy story comics featuring Japanese slaves or something?

TheDon01
Mar 8, 2009
The thread says [EVERY POST MUCH HAVE A PIC !!!] so I guess I shouldn't post one right?


Wouldn't your footprints be all reversed and hard to read?

gradenko_2000
Oct 5, 2010

Some missions, you just can't get rid of a bomb

Rebel Blob posted:

By the way, you can't talk about The Arkh Project and not have this gem.
genere
steriotypical
targetting
shouldnt
transexuals


Not proof-reading your Kickstarter pitch should be a massive red flag.

coldplay chiptunes
Sep 17, 2010

by Y Kant Ozma Post


"nobody wants to play" was probably my favorite part.

*gets 4 million dollars in backing*

Dead Inside Darwin
Jun 19, 2011

The cat problem in the park is Malthusian in scope.

Farbtoner posted:

Twee nerdporn

Are they really making the case that geeks don't see enough women in skimpy outfits at cons?

These women really want an excuse to take their clothes off. No wait, they really want money to do it as well.

bomblol
Jul 17, 2009

my first crapatar


coldplay chiptunes posted:

"nobody wants to play" was probably my favorite part.

*gets 4 million dollars in backing*

This same cycle happens pretty much every time it's mentioned but it's obviously just a troll image, akin to the Skrillex/Beatles ones plastered everywhere. The creator apparently saw it and thought it was serious, so decided to reblog it.

The Lone Badger
Sep 24, 2007


El Estrago Bonito posted:

Hey, I'm all for people funding RPG Maker games. There are some games made in RPG Maker that are legitimately good videogames and I always felt bad not paying for them.

Would you mind naming a couple? I wouldn't mind some free games that will run on my crappy netbook.

coldplay chiptunes
Sep 17, 2010

by Y Kant Ozma Post


Was BarkleySUAJ a RPGMaker game?

Blackclaw
Jan 4, 2008

DUKE NUKEM FOREVER HAS A BETTER CHANCE OF RELEASING IN AUSTRALIA THAN ROCK BAND EVER WILL


El Estrago Bonito posted:

Hey, I'm all for people funding RPG Maker games. There are some games made in RPG Maker that are legitimately good videogames and I always felt bad not paying for them.

The main problem they suffer from is not having a person to do art assets for them. Characters are pretty easy to make, but things like maps and faces for text boxes are difficult and require a meager amount of skill. Still you could probably make custom assets for a game like Dues Card (a game I did some work on), Aurora Wing or Dark Energy and come away with a very good JRPG.

Charles Barkley: Shut Up And Jam Gaiden owned bones.

e: beaten by a god drat minute.

Blackclaw fucked around with this message at Apr 26, 2012 around 05:45

YO! Noid
Sep 12, 2008


Seriously Bonobo Chat sounds like a pretty cool idea and its sort of a bummer it will never happen.

12gaugelobotomy
Apr 25, 2012


how about A giant ball pit in an abandoned house?

12gaugelobotomy fucked around with this message at Apr 26, 2012 around 05:50

Farbtoner
May 17, 2011

by Y Kant Ozma Post


coldplay chiptunes posted:

Was BarkleySUAJ a RPGMaker game?

It was originally made for RPGMaker but they scrapped it and re-did it in GameMaker with a custom engine.

open container
Sep 15, 2008



Best RPG maker game is SPACE FUNERAL.

On topic, but leaning more towards awesome is a documentary about when rappers get old.

Culex
Jul 22, 2007

Crime sucks.


I looked at ones local to me and this one was just wonderful. I feel like 'donating' money that I know will come back to me and comment-asking why it is so awful. It's like poser plus a thousand filters until it's just smudges.

I think he's trying to make a printed comic about the Mechwarriors in New York City? With boobs, and maybe explosions. The video is to die for. If only he were kickstarting a TV show.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects...quad-comic-book

He needs $11k. He doesn't even have .

FrenchToasty
Feb 20, 2007

BRING IT ON BRING IT ON YEAH


Zellus posted:

Echoes of Eternia is a game made entirely in RPG Maker VX, and the creator is asking for $10,000 to complete it. Pledging $200 will allow you to design your own character, pledging $225 will allow you to voice your created character, and pledging $400 or higher will allow you to design an in-game shrine dedicated to yourself.

It currently has 847 backers pledging $27,028.

The guys who made Charles Barkley: Shut Up and Jam Gaiden must really hate themselves right now. They could have had a free $20,000.

El Estrago Bonito
Dec 17, 2010

Scout Finch Bitch


The Lone Badger posted:

Would you mind naming a couple? I wouldn't mind some free games that will run on my crappy netbook.

Barkley Shut Up and Jam: gaiden was originally an RM2K game that got ported to Game Maker, its also made by a goon.

But off the top of my head:

In the Name of the Rose: This is probably the most heavily coded RPG maker game. Its also a pretty decent game behind the impressive custom menus and battle systems. It also uses mostly handmade custom characters and chipsets. There is a pretty decent sequel that is actually a prequel called Until My Finest Hour.

Dues Cards: This is a programming exercise that mutated into a full game. Its a fairly complex real time card based battle system. I worked a bit on the second fan patch for the game which got rid of most of the truly terrible art assets the original used. I don't know any place that hosts it online anymore, the fan patch was on Skytower a long time ago, but here's my copy:
http://www.mediafire.com/?bzcii99n21z52z5

Tales of the Wind: Really awesome looking game, otherwise its a pretty average JRPG.

You can get all of these here:
http://queenscourt.org/othergames.php

The Queen's Court guys also made a pretty fun game called Three The Hard Way.

Dark Energy was my favorite RM2K game, but its been lost from the internet for a long time now.

Hydrocodone
Sep 26, 2007

Simon says...


Culex posted:

I looked at ones local to me and this one was just wonderful. I feel like 'donating' money that I know will come back to me and comment-asking why it is so awful. It's like poser plus a thousand filters until it's just smudges.

I think he's trying to make a printed comic about the Mechwarriors in New York City? With boobs, and maybe explosions. The video is to die for. If only he were kickstarting a TV show.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects...quad-comic-book

He needs $11k. He doesn't even have .

Another by "Dark Elf David Willardson":
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects...eries?ref=users

Just wonderful. What a wonderful video. Art, my buds.

12gaugelobotomy
Apr 25, 2012


If you guys enjoy RPGs and the perils of unemployment you will enjoy this awesome product

Miijhal
Jul 10, 2011

I keep looking. Why do I keep looking?!


The Bonobo Chat kickstarter was actually pretty cool and I'm sad I didn't know about it before. It would have been pretty valuable for primate behavior research.

Anyway, The Physics Cronicles is pretty hilariously bad.

quote:

Aliens are out to take over the world and there's only one man that can stop them, and you can call him Al. Join Albert Einstein and his band of rag tag hero's in this sci-fi alternate reality thrill ride where aliens are trying to pick Einsteins brilliant mind to find the deadly secret that lies within that will give the planet the means to destroy itself. Can they save the day or will these aliens help to destroy the world and then re-purpose it for their own needs?

Yep, sounds pretty cheesy right? Well it should, but i hope you like it, wrote this as a short story for a class and thought I'd put it out there to see if anyone likes it and would want to see it turned into a book or maybe even a comic book. It's pretty cheap too right? Come on, buy it, read it, i hope you'll like it, but please tell me what you think. I know it's not the best writing but it's a good story and it's just plain fun. Right? Comment tell me what you think, should i pursue a career as a world famous writer, or stick to what I'm good at? Please, do tell. And tell your friends if you like it. And anyone who buys this will get whatever i do next for free, so there's some incentive for you.
You can, indeed, pay $1 to own this magnificent piece of literary history. You could have also donated $5,000 to his kickstarter to get "something amazing".

Snoop Rocket
Aug 6, 2011



The Adventures of Green Thumb and Purple Haze, hilarious concept with an even more hilarious goal of 30k.

quote:

The Green Thumb and Purple Haze are fraternal twins, so they have the same basic powers, but they will tend to use them a little differently based on their individual natures. Basically they develop cannabis-based metamorphic powers. They can change from a normal flesh and blood human body into a humanoid cannabis flower body.

This form is actually living, growing plant matter and they can control this plant body to a very high level. They can grow leaves, take on stem or root like qualities, or concentrate their flowering buds into solid crystalline THC that is effectively invulnerable.

I want to support it, but drat man, thirty grand?

Also, Drink a Coors Light and Choke Out Your Dad: The Board Game

Babylon Astronaut
Apr 19, 2012


http://kck.st/y78l1B
This guy wants $1000 to write a book about what he did in college.
The photos of his wild party antics can't sell this pile of poo poo.

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA


http://www.brodzkybooks.com/kicksta...nt-republicans/

These people, not to be discouraged, are currently trying to gain funds to do a Democrat-themed one.

Snoop Rocket
Aug 6, 2011



Babylon Astronaut posted:

College
Oh my, what a gem.

quote:

My friends have even joked about paying Morgan Freeman to come read this thing in his famous, narrative tone. Needless to say, it's going to be an event!

Right.

Morgan Freeman posted:

"Chapter Four. Remember that night Poon-dawg threw up on that sorority chick's dress?! What a pussy!

Chapter Five. And then we didn't even go to class the next day! HA AH HA college is epic!"

Snoop Rocket fucked around with this message at Apr 26, 2012 around 08:15

Favela Flav
Dec 24, 2009


Farbtoner posted:



Ellwood "Bunky" Bartlett

I know I'm a page late, but I can't be the only one who sees this whenever I look at that smug face:



Hey kid, you're alright!

dutch wife abc
Apr 25, 2012


Farbtoner posted:


he looks like a fart gone horribly wrong

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Babylon Astronaut
Apr 19, 2012


the frat-writer posted:

I wanted to let everyone know about the progress I've made so far. I'm currently at approximately 11,000 words which is a little over a third of my quest for 30,000.

If he isn't writing this for school it's sad he's making GBS threads out this novel like it's his final project in broseph. This dude seriously wants 33 cents per word.

Imaginary Friend
Jan 27, 2010

Your Best Friend


Some of the Kickstarters are crazy. How does this work exactly? If the funding succeeds, do you just get the cash? What if you can't hold what you promised? Do you have to pay back every single dollar to everyone?

Iacen
Mar 19, 2009

Si vis pacem, para bellum



Nope.

There is no safety in case of a project creator takes all the money and takes an extended vacation to Europe.

Blackclaw
Jan 4, 2008

DUKE NUKEM FOREVER HAS A BETTER CHANCE OF RELEASING IN AUSTRALIA THAN ROCK BAND EVER WILL


Iacen posted:

Nope.

There is no safety in case of a project creator takes all the money and takes an extended vacation to Europe.

Surely they could be found guilty of fraud or something?

Police Automaton
Mar 17, 2009


I'm almost entirely sure this forum would've thrown a lot of money at the zybourne clock.

I am so loving pissed off at indie developers. When the whole trend started a few years ago I thought gaming from the 80s and 90s with its bizarre but charming concepts and artwork would come back. Think Carrier Command. Think Midwinter. Think B.A.T.. (think having a modern computer with more than 512 kb of RAM that actually can pull off what these games tried with relative ease) ..or bunch of other games I don't have af the top of the head. What do we get? RPG maker and a flood of indie games ripping off old games in a lovely way and other indie games ripping off those rip-offs, eternal alphas, and cash grabs with people who have an ego so inflated it wouldn't fit through the garage door of my building. gently caress you "indie developers", gently caress you. I loving hate you and I hope that you die.

Police Automaton fucked around with this message at Apr 26, 2012 around 08:36

vxskud
Nov 19, 2006



http://www.indiegogo.com/race-dicks

Recently ended in utter failure, it was a pretty stupid concept from the get go and the awards were extremely lame. It's kind of sad too see this as I am a huge fan of Trailer Park Boys.

Blackclaw
Jan 4, 2008

DUKE NUKEM FOREVER HAS A BETTER CHANCE OF RELEASING IN AUSTRALIA THAN ROCK BAND EVER WILL


Indie games still often get published via Steamworks or other distributors. They still get green-lit by major publishers, but they require, you know, portfolios and actual work backing it, rather than "I'M AN IDEAS MAN OKAY HAVE SOME COMMISSIONED ART"

vxskud
Nov 19, 2006



Blackclaw posted:

Indie games still often get published via Steamworks or other distributors. They still get green-lit by major publishers, but they require, you know, portfolios and actual work backing it, rather than "I'M AN IDEAS MAN OKAY HAVE SOME COMMISSIONED ART"

Most of them don't use antiquated engines either like most of the ones you see on kickstarter.

Like Arkh Project which was going to use the Neverwinter Nights 1 engine.

Pi Mu Rho
Apr 25, 2007



Police Automaton posted:

Think Carrier Command.

http://www.carriercommand.com - it's in semi-open beta now.

Police Automaton
Mar 17, 2009


/\/\ I know that one, still thanks.

Blackclaw posted:

Indie games still often get published via Steamworks or other distributors. They still get green-lit by major publishers, but they require, you know, portfolios and actual work backing it, rather than "I'M AN IDEAS MAN OKAY HAVE SOME COMMISSIONED ART"

Yeah I know and some of them are quite good. I'm also aware that there were tons of very poo poo-tastic games back in the day too. The greed of most of those developers combined with their non-talent is what's pissing me off, especially since there are always a few suckers who'll reinforce this by throwing money at them. A lot of projects are just trying to get money out of people with promises that won't be kept. That's just lovely.

TheMover
Jun 24, 2010


Police Automaton posted:

gently caress you "indie developers", gently caress you. I loving hate you and I hope that you die.

Being a programmer who wants to dabble in game dev as a hobby / for pocket change, never have I wanted to identify less with a label. There's fantastic indie games out there but the content:noise ratio is a pile of poo poo now and kickstarter really is spurring these on (And what's worse is the crazy amount of people who pledge money. They won't buy it if it was made and released without fuss, but when you have one dude who is making a game in a month & demands $50K for it somehow, it's a joke).

It's not like half of these people need the funding to live their lives as they set off to pursue their version of the next minecraft. None of them use it to pay for artists. It's literally "Lets crunk out some half-arsed awful concept and hey you should pay me for that" and people ACTUALLY DO THIS.

I think my favourite kind of reward is upwards of $100 and always is "You can have a hand in the design of insignificant part of the game".

But seriously, if I had made anything like games shown in this thread I'd feel like an rear end in a top hat asking anyone to pay. Don't fund these idiots ever.

Handgun Harlot
Jan 26, 2003

Pew Pew Q


I actually thought kickstarter was nothing BUT crappy video games that needed funding. I actually looked it up and holy poo poo a watch that lets me see who is calling? Western Union SENT.

Thanks thread!

Combatace
Feb 29, 2008


Please help fund my birthday party parade!

This is the worst kickstarter, and its way past how much it needed to be funded.

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Aussie Dingbat
Apr 21, 2012

Dingbat from Down Under


Ladies, have you ever thought whilst walking down the street, "Hey, wouldn't it be great if I had a portable wardrobe with me right now?"

What's that you say?

Why yes that does sound loving stupid, but hey, if a portable wardrobe is your thing, how about sending $15,000 over to "CHICK ON THE GO - "A closet in your clutch".

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