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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Awful Kickstarters
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Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.

gnarlyhotep posted:

Hey gently caress you I would not only buy it I would put it on my desk at work.

Well it would be LEGO, so if anyone asked you why you had a gaping rear end in a top hat on your desk you could just look at them and ask what the hell is wrong with them. "This is LEGO you pervert, what the gently caress are you thinking?

# ¿ May 12, 2012 03:40
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# ¿ May 22, 2013 18:14
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Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.

Broken Bio Qlock posted:

Sometimes you wish they let you pay to make sure a project never sees the light of day

Jesus Christ, my entire head hurts. Why does my entire head hurt?

quote:

My neighbor wanted to feel like he was in Mexico, so in our hometown he got overpriced souvenirs, sunburned, robbed, & Montezuma's Revenge.

My coworker hates to smell, so all day in his cube he sits in a cauldron filled with soapy water.

My neighbor can't cook for himself, but loves a huge variety of food, so every month he dates a different woman.

The dog in the apt next to mine barks and whines. Asked the owner why. "She barks when she can't handle her high."

My nephew hates his dentist, so before his appointments he drinks a gallon of milk that's been expired for a month.

Turns out the voices weren't in my head. Apparently there's a huge family of immigrants living in my attic.

My Grandpa walks just like he drives. He bumps into people, doesn't say he's sorry, & gives them the finger.

My plane mechanic buddy hates to pay for haircuts, so he just sticks the top of his head in a plane's propellers right before takeoff.

My brother hates his mailman, so even though he doesn't need them, he orders cement blocks through the mail.

What the gently caress?

# ¿ May 13, 2012 20:57
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Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

I'd pledge money for Werner Herzog to spend a weekend with a few dozen bronies, that would be amazing.

I need to see this. do whatever it takes! Blackmail, something!

# ¿ May 15, 2012 10:32
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Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.

spacegoat posted:

I want to believe this post re: Tentacle Bento is ironic, but I know in my heart it isn't.


HYPERCRITES!

"(it's called Hentai Art)"

This is the funniest thing ever.

# ¿ May 16, 2012 17:58
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Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


 I have to wonder with all the people whining about Kickstarter not helping them realize their dumb dreams, are Kickstarter actually supposed to do anything for them? Does it say anywhere on the site that they are entitled to some form of marketing or anything at all? Because that's the dumbest thing of all, the idiot getting so mad that his accessory to make your iPhone not sink in cookie-dough isn't getting the Kickstarter's team full attention.

# ¿ May 16, 2012 23:21
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Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.

Pfirti86 posted:

Also, the backstory is loving awful. It should be printed verbatim in a textbook on how not to write a narrative.

I thought that it deserved an entire post for itself, it's horrendous, but after reading through it a couple of times and attempting to separate the big blob into actual paragraphs I ended up with this:

quote:

quote:

In the beginning the world was a flowing, balanced place, full of magic and wonderment. Each thing in existence had it's own connection with the planet. magic as it's known in other realms was not foreign here, it flowed through the land as much as the wind and water. No one speaks of the world's origin, however, almost everyone remembers how it almost came to an end. Since then things have changed. Events great and small have transpired. This story covers a time when the Elven City of Ellessium was destroyed. Only fragments of the “old” knowledge still exist. This is a record of what happened to cause the cataclysm and the events since. While no one really knows how everything transpired, this is the tale most widely told of how the once great city of Elven kind fell into ruin.

I don't think you could make a "ONCE THE WORLD WAS FULL OF MAGIC " story more generic.

quote:

6606 characters of "OH THERE WAS A GOOD BROTHER AND THERE WAS AN EVIL BROTHER BUT THE EVIL BROTHER WAS NOT REALLY EVIL "

gently caress you rear end in a top hat.

It's just kind of exhausting, really.

# ¿ May 17, 2012 18:38
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Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


 I think the best (or most infuriating) thing is when they demand you pay your own shipping for $1000+ pledges. I know that when you would donate that much, you'd probably be able to pay for shipping as well, but you should have your feet kissed and you cock sucked for something like that. Saying you'll have to pay for shipping (or hotels for other types of pledges, or whatever) just strikes me as incredibly rude.

"You can come and stay with us! Pay for your own hotel, meals and BYOB thanks."

Edit: Traveling costs I can understand, for the record.

# ¿ May 18, 2012 10:42
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Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


 Well, men in games mainly consist of beards, buzz cuts or emo hair, so no.

# ¿ May 19, 2012 16:00
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Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.

miscellaneous14 posted:

There's something really irritating about parents that actively try to get their kids to inherit their own interests. Nerdy interests are definitely no exception to this.

Betting that the kids end up just wanting to play sports, anyway.

Me and my girlfriend joke about this; of course our eventual children will be geeks like us! I'm pretty sure our parents joked about the same, as her parents and my father are complete geeks, but they didn't force us to be geeks, just like we won't force our kids to be geeks. Calling your kids Kal-El and Anakin is another one of those cases where I instantly think "child abuse", even if that is a bit of an overstatement. If our kids decides that they want to play soccer instead of Star Craft, I think I'll be a bit relieved. At least they'll be more fit than I was at their age.

Only thing we might force is rock climbing and archery, because that's loving cool and healthy.

(And my girlfriend's dad has a rock climbing wall in his home office)

# ¿ May 20, 2012 00:09
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Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.

Boiled Water posted:

That's actually really nifty if it works. My hands shake way too much to take a picture of anything remotely detailed.

Well even so, you can make your own "scanbox" in five minutes out of printer paper and a hard surface like a book, which I have done several times. That way it's easy to take pictures of Warhammer figures (to grab an example completely out of thin air) if you're away from home or something. I know the argument about paying so you don't have to do a thing with printer paper and a book, but it's just so easy to take pictures like that if you're smart about it.

# ¿ May 20, 2012 01:20
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Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

From the author's bio:

This guy actually has some know-how when it comes to the technical aspects of programming, and he wastes it on this anime poo poo? God drat it.

# ¿ May 21, 2012 14:44
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Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


 The demo wouldn't even start for me, that bodes well.

And I agree with everything you're saying. People need to realize that games are an industry. If you want to create your ~Perfect Japanese Dream~ game, you have to create some lovely learning games for kids (like Funcom did long before The Longest Journey or Conan) or anything else that's cheap to make and sells adequately. Or just don't, because gently caress everything having to be anime.

# ¿ May 21, 2012 15:11
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# ¿ May 22, 2013 18:14
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Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.

car dance posted:

So this is just some bullshit story written by a sad pathetic dude that is another one of those "woman gets raped to further the plot line" stories. The writing is awful and grammar is not even close to right. The main character is an rear end in a top hat but it's totally acceptable in his community because he's a self insert. The parents have the worst voice acting and are as valuable as the MC talking to parrots. I am sure that in one of the future episodes he will have sex with his sister.

What the gently caress kind of GAMEPLAY can this have?

This is just an anime with walking, I guess. And something like this could have been a good game in the right hands. The whole internet pedo culture and the main character questioning if his revenge fantasies are completely bonkers is an interesting theme and could be used as a wider metaphor for the oh so edgy gently caress-you-dad culture and the glorification of revenge that infects every community on the internet, but this is just so loving bad. Also...

NINbuntu 64 posted:

That's nothing on some of the real art:



HEEEEY GUUUUUYZ!

# ¿ May 24, 2012 16:15
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Awful Kickstarters