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Adult Sword Owner
Jun 19, 2011

Sir, did you know it's illegal to blow chicken percent?


Sagebrush posted:

God is a literal being with omnipotent power and an omniscient view of the universe. He knows exactly how the universe was created and how it operates. A gang of semitic tribesmen in the desert can understand the concept of "a guy much more powerful than us who does magic", but aren't able to comprehend things like nuclear fusion and accretion discs and evolution and continental drift and geological timescales. So God dumbs it down to seven major "steps" (days) and says "I did it with magic".

Problem is, God didn't anticipate that seven thousand years later, when humans have managed to land on other planets and take apart their own genetic code and build structures out of single atoms, there would still be oodles of dumbasses deciding that they should still believe the literal interpretation of what God told a bunch of stupid tribesmen in the desert.

If he didn't anticipate that, he's not very omniscient. If he can't figure out how to give us free will and "trials" to face without removing things like pain and suffering, he's not very omnipotent.

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Algol Star
Sep 6, 2010



PrBacterio posted:

Not very many I'd wager, seeing how breathing is a reflex (and therefore involuntary).
EDIT: Or maybe a better way to put it is that, unlike eating and drinking, it's literally impossible to be too dumb to breathe.

You could persuade people to sever their own spinal cords to get rid of the harmful breathing reflex.

Angela Christine
Oct 4, 2008



Can we not turn this thread into yet another debate about biblical literalism? Thanks.



PrBacterio posted:

Not very many I'd wager, seeing how breathing is a reflex (and therefore involuntary).
EDIT: Or maybe a better way to put it is that, unlike eating and drinking, it's literally impossible to be too dumb to breathe.

If that were true, plastic bags wouldn't come with warning labels.


You can stop breathing, you just need to work at it.

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

I failed the Digg Button Challenge™

Wasn't there talk about making puns probatable in GBS?

The Bible
May 8, 2010



Sagebrush posted:

God is a literal being with omnipotent power and an omniscient view of the universe. He knows exactly how the universe was created and how it operates. A gang of semitic tribesmen in the desert can understand the concept of "a guy much more powerful than us who does magic", but aren't able to comprehend things like nuclear fusion and accretion discs and evolution and continental drift and geological timescales. So God dumbs it down to seven major "steps" (days) and says "I did it with magic".

Problem is, God didn't anticipate that seven thousand years later, when humans have managed to land on other planets and take apart their own genetic code and build structures out of single atoms, there would still be oodles of dumbasses deciding that they should still believe the literal interpretation of what God told a bunch of stupid tribesmen in the desert.

I don't guess you can offer any proof of this. Which God is the real one? The one who inspired the Bible? What about other holy texts? Were they all from the same God? How do you know?

I don't know, it still seems more likely that it was all written by superstitious people from a simpler time who just didn't know how things worked, and attributed it to a divine being.

OldMemes posted:

I look at the scriptures, find out what they mean, and look at science and rationalty, and I've come to the conclusion that God is real.

Science and rationality offer absolutely no evidence of a divine being. You cannot look at it rationally and scientifically and come to that conclusion. There is simply no evidence. The scriptures offer opposing views to science and rationality, being quite inaccurate in many ways (and this includes in matters that people would have understood in those days, such as geography and the locations of entire cities), and hurt the case of the God of Abraham, if anything.

Its fine if you want to believe it, but don't claim your views are at all scientific. Science is about testing and coming to conclusions based on solid evidence. Faith does not enter into it.

nice mattimer
Mar 3, 2008

the wind that shakes the buttcheeks


The Bible posted:

Science and rationality offer absolutely no evidence of a divine being. You cannot look at it rationally and scientifically and come to that conclusion. There is simply no evidence. The scriptures offer opposing views to science and rationality, being quite inaccurate in many ways, and hurt the case of the God of Abraham, if anything.
So I shouldnt' believe anything the Bible says? Hmmm....

Hmmmm

The Sphinxster
Jul 13, 2007

Next!


jojoinnit posted:

Wasn't there talk about making puns probatable in GBS?

It's in the rules, and I am so thankful for it. Death to lovely puns.

RennZero
Oct 10, 2007

"Get in."

dinozombiesgoRARR posted:

There's limits to what people will do, however. It's not like you could convince people to rub their own urine and semen on themselves, no one would be that stupid.

I'm pretty sure there are already people who do that.

Azathoth
Apr 3, 2001

Bronie for Life / Bitcoin afficionado

Sounds like the same kind of broken wiring that leads people to die of anorexia or other eating disorders. Though I don't think I've seen a suggestion of a body image problem causing this, I'd bet that she entered into a similar negative feedback loop concerning her weight loss. I think it would be more instructive to treat her death as being caused by some underlying mental illness than by "people sure do believe some crazy poo poo".

EDIT:

RennZero posted:

I'm pretty sure there are already people who do that.
Yes, that would be the joke.

Ender.uNF
Sep 28, 2001
Lowtax giveth, and Lowtax taketh away.

The Bible posted:

God drat, Texas is just a loving hole.

Ummm if you actually read the whole story you would see that in reality only a couple of people got up and left (Nye said he wasn't heckled). Further he received a standing ovation at the end of his talk, which would indicate to me that the people of Waco enjoyed it very much.

This is just bullshit anti-south confirmation bias. Some terrible fundamentalist idiots do live here and do terrible things so you want to believe Bill Bye was run out of Waco for teaching science, which is a great narrative about a beloved childhood hero bullied by the ignorant south. Except the part where it didn't happen.

The Bible
May 8, 2010



Ender.uNF posted:

Ummm if you actually read the whole story you would see that in reality only a couple of people got up and left (Nye said he wasn't heckled). Further he received a standing ovation at the end of his talk, which would indicate to me that the people of Waco enjoyed it very much.

This is just bullshit anti-south confirmation bias. Some terrible fundamentalist idiots do live here and do terrible things so you want to believe Bill Bye was run out of Waco for teaching science, which is a great narrative about a beloved childhood hero bullied by the ignorant south. Except the part where it didn't happen.

My comment was motivated by a lifetime of living in Texas, not that one event. There is plenty of poo poo like that happening all over Texas. See that last science textbook debate that the Creationists won.

wfwon
Apr 18, 2012



This is what happen when human try to learn photosynthesis, and failed.

Mister Macys
Apr 21, 2007

"Someone's having doubts huh? Hell, I'm just trying to keep this thing interesting. You can't write me off like that. You're just a voice pal; you don't know a damn thing about racing!"
- Sweet JP, Redline

Angela Christine posted:

Can we not turn this thread into yet another debate about biblical literalism? Thanks.


If that were true, plastic bags wouldn't come with warning labels.


You can stop breathing, you just need to work at it.

Where in the world are there people stupid enough to merit these warnings?

I was told by, you know... my parents.

rakovsky maybe
Nov 4, 2008


Mister Macys posted:

Where in the world are there people stupid enough to merit these warnings?

I was told by, you know... my parents.

Not everyone has parents, check your privilege.

Mister Macys
Apr 21, 2007

"Someone's having doubts huh? Hell, I'm just trying to keep this thing interesting. You can't write me off like that. You're just a voice pal; you don't know a damn thing about racing!"
- Sweet JP, Redline

rakovsky maybe posted:

Not everyone has parents, check your privilege.

Don't the people running the children's prison orphanage have any parents either?

JohnSherman
Feb 29, 2012

So what do you want to be called?

Amethyst posted:

These idiots call themselves "sun gazers" and it's dumber than you could possibly imagine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZM9iDdkKZ7M

Wow. That quote reminds me of all this pseudo-intellectual poo poo that one of my teachers tried to shove down our throats. I remember that he did a few of those spiritual quests in India, and was on that apple-only diet for a while. I want to see his reaction to this.

nice mattimer
Mar 3, 2008

the wind that shakes the buttcheeks


JohnSherman posted:

Wow. That quote reminds me of all this pseudo-intellectual poo poo that one of my teachers tried to shove down our throats. I remember that he did a few of those spiritual quests in India, and was on that apple-only diet for a while. I want to see his reaction to this.
Did he take that whole "apple a day keeps the doctor away" to retarded proportions or is this actually a movement?

EllisD
Mar 14, 2004

WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT!?

jojoinnit posted:

Wasn't there talk about making puns probatable in GBS?

I believe that happened a couple years ago. The general rule of thumb was no puns since they're rarely clever/funny and they ignite a pissing contest of stupidity that becomes a black hole for constructive discourse. Puns are only funny when they're obscure and few people catch them. Otherwise they are a disease.

Suntory BOSS
Apr 17, 2006



They should genetically modify humans to perform photosynthesis so that we can live in space eating sunshine. Then we can have space stations without having to worry about food shipments and stuff.

Perhaps, in her own way... this woman was a pioneer of the future

Angela Christine
Oct 4, 2008



Suntory BOSS posted:

They should genetically modify humans to perform photosynthesis so that we can live in space eating sunshine. Then we can have space stations without having to worry about food shipments and stuff.

Perhaps, in her own way... this woman was a pioneer of the future

That's just the sort of pro-sun propaganda I'd expect from someone named Suntory.

Tudhalias
Sep 7, 2009


nice mattimer posted:

Did he take that whole "apple a day keeps the doctor away" to retarded proportions or is this actually a movement?

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, although you will still get sick and die without medical care!"

I've never heard anything about an apple diet, but there is the grapefruit diet, which (at least in the rumored variation I heard about when I was in high school) consists of eating nothing but grapefruit. There's also apparently the fruitarian diet, which is nothing but fruit.

The Bible
May 8, 2010



Suntory BOSS posted:

They should genetically modify humans to perform photosynthesis so that we can live in space eating sunshine. Then we can have space stations without having to worry about food shipments and stuff.

Perhaps, in her own way... this woman was a pioneer of the future

We would still need air and water.

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012


Tele-juche

The Bible posted:

We would still need air and water.

Well, if by "air" you mean CO2, since that's where photosynthetic organisms get all their carbon. Luckily both water and cabron dioxide are very simple compounds, so there's lots of both on all kinds of lifeless stellar bodies. Should be no problem.

I'd like to live to see the day that scientists really manage to take apart chlorophyll and photosynthesis and turn it into a general-purpose tool. I want a car that runs on CO2 and water, goddamnit

Amethyst
Mar 28, 2004
I'm too much of a boring fucker to have a recognisable avatar

Didn't take long for the thread about mocking new age mystics to be hijacked by unironic blue-sky techno-mystics.


I'm sure we'll all be living in space photosynthesizing the energy for our google glasses directly from the stars in a few decades, guys.

ScumbagSorcerer
Nov 21, 2009


Im on the total darkness diet, I have learned braille and am typing on a keyboard for the blind my eyelids have been shown shut and I am being dictated what is being said by my guru, he tells me I am Adonis...why do my lungs hurt and why do my knees make the sound of an old door everytime I move. OH THE PAIN THE PAIN!!!!!

TheKracken
Oct 16, 2011


Mister Macys posted:

Where in the world are there people stupid enough to merit these warnings?

I was told by, you know... my parents.
This horrified me more than anything that happened on the show:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbgSFzpN5FA

spikenigma
Nov 13, 2005

by Ralp


Sagebrush posted:

God is a literal being with omnipotent power and an omniscient view of the universe.

.......


Problem is, God didn't anticipate

Ha ha!, oops!

Endless Witch
Apr 29, 2012

11th-Dimensional Matrix


What gets me is how every now and then scientists do a study on some crazy (usually Indian) spiritual person and they discover that yes, the person really can sit meditating without eating/peeing/sleeping! The typical story usually contains some pseudosciencey or just crazy-sounding stuff the scientists supposedly observed, such as cycling bladders which double as perpetual-motion machines.

My question would be: Who's doing it?

The news agencies, the scientists, the crazy guy who shoved a watter bottle up his bum... who's making these stories happen? It's like even big news agencies want to spread bullshit around just to ensure everyone has an imaginary higher power to submit to and feel faithful about.

therattle
Jul 24, 2007

I'm a family man - I run a family business. This is my son and my partner, H.W.


nice mattimer posted:

Did he take that whole "apple a day keeps the doctor away" to retarded proportions or is this actually a movement?

I'm sure it's lots of movements, probably quite soft and burny.

I'm going to try this subsisting off sunlight business, but I am going to learn from all the in this thread, and ensure that my feet remain firmly planted in a large tub of moist loamy soil while I soak up the rays.

Boogaleeboo
Sep 13, 2011

DON'T LET THIS PICTURE OF AN ADORABLE KITTEN FOOL YOU INTO THINKING I'M NOT AN INSUFFERABLE AUTIST

spikenigma posted:

Ha ha!, oops!

I'm pretty sure he was in fact taking apart that argument, not supporting it.

big scary monsters
Sep 2, 2011

I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit.


therattle posted:

I'm going to try this subsisting off sunlight business, but I am going to learn from all the in this thread, and ensure that my feet remain firmly planted in a large tub of moist loamy soil while I soak up the rays.

Pretty sure Philip K. Dick did a short story about this.

fake edit: Yep, here it is.

real edit:

Philip K. Dick posted:

"Is that true? That you are a plant."
"Yes, in a non-biological sense. I retain the physiology of a human being, of course."
"What do you mean, then, that you're a plant?"
"The reference is to attitudinal response, to Weltanschauung."
"Go on."
"It is possible for a warm-blooded animal, an upper primate, to adopt the psychology of a plant, to some extent."

...

"I was taught to become a plant."
The image of Harris showed surprise and interest. "What do you mean, you were taught to become a plant?"
"They realized my problems and taught me to become a plant. Now I'm free from them, the problems."
It all makes sense, that Indian guru is a Piper!

Sotsa
Jul 21, 2008

Furious birdnipples.

Natural selection at work, this is probably favourable for the overall gene pool.
We need more bullshit diets and treatments. I am sure it will help in the long run.

Miguel Angel Face
Apr 1, 2012
I AM THE GHOST OF DON BRASH FROM 2005, IF YOU DON'T SAY "ONE LAW FOR ALL" FIVE TIMES IN THE MIRROR I'LL COME INTO YOUR THREAD TONIGHT AND SPOUT RACIST DOGWHISTLES FOR TWENTY PAGES


It's sad that this level of ignorance survives in our modern times.

There was a story in our local media recently about a women who died after drinking ten liters of Coca-Cola a day for several years (that's not a misprint about the quantity - her body basically shut down).

Ignorance kills.

IronClaymore
Jun 30, 2010



Endless Witch posted:

What gets me is how every now and then scientists do a study on some crazy (usually Indian) spiritual person and they discover that yes, the person really can sit meditating without eating/peeing/sleeping! The typical story usually contains some pseudosciencey or just crazy-sounding stuff the scientists supposedly observed, such as cycling bladders which double as perpetual-motion machines.

My question would be: Who's doing it?

The news agencies, the scientists, the crazy guy who shoved a watter bottle up his bum... who's making these stories happen? It's like even big news agencies want to spread bullshit around just to ensure everyone has an imaginary higher power to submit to and feel faithful about.

Well, if you're talking about India, you're talking about a country that, despite colossal efforts, still has a major problem with corruption. It's how I'd run such a scam; bribe someone to bring you food, water and an empty bucket at a certain time, bribe the watcher to turn away at this time (maybe get the watcher to be the one to do all these tasks?). The story you posted was about the guy under observation in a hospital. Like his confederate couldn't have simply slipped an orderly or nurse or the guy who edited the video feed the equivalent of a few week's wages, money they simply cannot refuse what with increasing food costs and rent in arrears and children on the verge of starvation (or whatever their situation was). He might even come back and "bless" the hospital, increasing its patronage by wealthy clients. I'm sure they can overlook a little tampering for the promise of such a boon. They have patients depending on them! It would be irresponsible for them to turn away anything that could increase their revenue. Or so the logic goes.

It's simply business. They don't want people to believe in a higher power, not primarily, they're just trying to get a little money and power for themselves. The media gets work, so they don't look into it too closely, just enough to cover themselves if it all goes up. People get their bribes. Hospital gets additional scientific and spiritual legitimacy. The "scientists" get their name in the paper, so they get more work from other spiritualist guys who want to add an air of sciency-ness. "Our scientist is legit! Look at all these other claims he's verified!" Then the guru gets a bunch of people wanting him to teach them stuff, and for him it's all there. He can start a cult, take everyone's money, spread disinformation, get tax exempt status, impregnate a thousand virgins, buy a luxury car for every day of the year, the works!

Scams, including religious and pseudosciencey ones, are a significant part of the economy, and have been ever since there was an economy.

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

OldMemes posted:

I look at the scriptures, find out what they mean, and look at science and rationalty, and I've come to the conclusion that God is real.

Your conclusion has nothing to do with science and rationality though. The scriptures "mean" whatever people want them to mean. Meaning is in the eye of the beholder.

The Bible
May 8, 2010



spikenigma posted:

Ha ha!, oops!

Go back and read the whole thing. I totally missed the "7,000 years later" part. It was a very well done troll.

Adult Sword Owner
Jun 19, 2011

Sir, did you know it's illegal to blow chicken percent?


OldMemes posted:

Remember, the Bible isn't one book, but 66, written at different times, by different people, for different audiences, but all of them inspired by God.

There must have been a lot of static on the line, because they sure did counter each other. No, you can't cherrypick what you want from the whole collection what was literal and what was not. You have to take the "no shellfish" and the "no tattoos" with the rapists-need-to-marry-their-victims and "kill people who try to build a fire on a Sunday". If it says that the moon is a light source, you have to take the literal translation.

Also, there are a LOT of other scriptures that could be part of the bible, but they're just kept out because theological politics.

The Bible
May 8, 2010



Leon Einstein posted:

Your conclusion has nothing to do with science and rationality though. The scriptures "mean" whatever people want them to mean. Meaning is in the eye of the beholder.

Well, it doesn't really matter what they actually mean. Science is about collecting evidence and testing, something that God, if he exists, is making very difficult for whatever reason. If you look at religion through the lens of science, it just falls apart. There is literally no evidence holding any of it up, and quite a bit of it tearing it down.

Saint Darwin posted:

There must have been a lot of static on the line, because they sure did counter each other. No, you can't cherrypick what you want from the whole collection what was literal and what was not. You have to take the "no shellfish" and the "no tattoos" with the rapists-need-to-marry-their-victims and "kill people who try to build a fire on a Sunday". If it says that the moon is a light source, you have to take the literal translation.

Also, there are a LOT of other scriptures that could be part of the bible, but they're just kept out because theological politics.

No, you see, its all allegorical, except the parts where God is literally real. That part is literal. None of that unpleasant stuff he says he wants us to do is literal though, but all the love and tolerance stuff is. I know this because

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

The Bible posted:

Well, it doesn't really matter what they actually mean. Science is about collecting evidence and testing, something that God, if he exists, is making very difficult for whatever reason. If you look at religion through the lens of science, it just falls apart. There is literally no evidence holding any of it up, and quite a bit of it tearing it down.
Yeah, I agree. I'm saying that 20 different Christians will have 20 different ideas of what a specific verse means. It's so much bullshit, and I'm amazed that so many people buy it hook, line, and sinker.

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Boogaleeboo
Sep 13, 2011

DON'T LET THIS PICTURE OF AN ADORABLE KITTEN FOOL YOU INTO THINKING I'M NOT AN INSUFFERABLE AUTIST

The Bible posted:


Hey, I get it, your name is The Bible and you have a problem with religion.

Good joke.

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