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Ireland Sucks
May 16, 2004



Revener posted:

I wouldn't be surprised if they would. What a lot of these guys are looking for are damaged, socially exiled and therefore desperate women, so major or disturbing crimes would probably be a draw. It's just the most pathetic, and dating sites should be prohibited from GBS threads to spare us the grief.

There is a documentary about this called Jail Date which followed a bunch of guys who had formed relationships with women in jail. They had constant deep and meaningful contact, regular phone calls, cards (which one of the girls had completely covering the walls of her cell) and grand plans of spending their lives together. Then as soon as the girls were released they often immediately ended the 'relationship' or just severed contact completely. You even get to watch the reaction of the guy who had spent years saying 'no, no its totally legit, just wait and see' as he slowly realised this woman is not going to arrive at his house on her release day.

There was also an British guy living with his parents who was saving thousands of dollars to pay the lawyers/appeal fees of a girl (in a US prison) when she was in contact with multiple guys. It may give the women inside something to do and people love getting letters in Prison but the men who got emotionally invested in it seemed to be some of the most pathetic creatures you could hope to meet.

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Jonad
Oct 24, 2010

-Marissa Explains It All-


Hey folks, we have a thread rating system for a reason. If you don't like this thread and want to see it gassed, scroll to the bottom of the page, go hog wild, and vote it 1. I guarantee it will be 100x more effective than bitching about it in the thread itself.

Captain Candiru
Nov 9, 2006

"I'm sure a urethra could accommodate a 11.5 mm object, but it wouldn't get in there easily; it would take some cooperation from the insertee."

Yeah, for all the bitching, we don't have enough people who've rated at all to even generate a thread rating yet.

Mach5
Aug 1, 2004

Shatfaced!


Jasper Tin Neck posted:

Chassity Kitchen must be one of the most unfortunate names I've ever heard.

Sounds like a dinette set you'd win on 'The Price is Right.'

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003



Isn't this literally a duplicate of a bigpeeler thread from like 6 years ago?

Big Centipede
Mar 20, 2009

it tingles


SaltLick posted:

Story time!

Her name's Joanne Tucker. I dated her when I was 16. Found out recently she's in the big house for punching her 5 week old baby to death and leaving it for her father to find. From what I hear, it was pretty horrific too.

Actually, I think she got manslaughter or something instead because I think she's only sentenced for like 12 years or something. I'd have to dig up an article.

regularizer
Mar 5, 2012



etalian posted:

Just using the age old bugler tactics such as Google earth/other resources to find alternate routes into the buildings and also closely checking when the place would be most vulnerable.

Also certain celebs were really lazy at securing their homes such as Paris Hilton's place having a back door unlocked and also leaving a key under the front door mat.

Some of the places did have security systems that would later provide a good amount of photo capture evidence which helped crack the case.

The most bizarre aspect is the group picked their targets based on which celeb they were obsessing over at the time.

There was actually a reality TV show about the family of one of the girls involved in that, called Pretty Wild. Ignore the reviews saying it's the "worst TV show ever made"; I've never been so entertained by such a ridiculous family.

Toriori
Jan 4, 2012

No Yanda's allowed

Mach5 posted:

Sounds like a dinette set you'd win on 'The Price is Right.'
Just imagine. You're standing on the dais on PIR, living every persons dream. The immortal Bob Barker motions his arms and calls "our third grand prize, Chassity Kitchen!" you smile, your dishwasher has been leaking, and your oven has been cooking things unevenly, a new kitchen would be a good consolation prize. But no. The prize wall rotates and it's her. Her beady eyes squinted at you, she's holding a handful of darts.

Out of curiosity I looked up her name and found this quote:

quote:

My hobbies are playing sports, hunting, shooting pool, and throwing darts. If you want to know more about me, write me. I'll be waiting.
sounds like a threat

Lap-Lem
Oct 21, 2005
Lap-Lem the Village Tard

razorrozar posted:

^^ In all honesty, probably not. I want to have kids someday, and I don't want their mother to already have known proclivities towards that sort of thing.

Not to mention it would raise some questions. I know if someone has kids and is convicted on child porn charges, they almost always lose custody. What if they're convicted, do their time, register as a sex offender, and THEN miraculously find someone with whom they procreate? How is the custody situation handled?

It varies by state (US only). In a lot of states if your children are removed by the state, (By this I mean you go to court and your parental rights are removed) all future children you have are also removed by the state. As in CPS officers come to the Hospital and remove your newborn from the nursery.

Keep in mind that having parental rights removed in a court of law is Different from surrendering them. And the threat of all future children being removed from you is one of the motivators used to convince people to surrender as opposed to going to court and having them removed.

I do not know what would happen if they found someone who already had a child though, if that child would be removed, I would guess so, but it would be much harder for the state to know. It's pretty easy with a birth.

I am not talking out my rear end, I am a Foster parent so I work with this stuff in a state that has this law.

Toriori
Jan 4, 2012

No Yanda's allowed

Lap-Lem posted:

It varies by state (US only). In a lot of states if your children are removed by the state, (By this I mean you go to court and your parental rights are removed) all future children you have are also removed by the state. As in CPS officers come to the Hospital and remove your newborn from the nursery.

Keep in mind that having parental rights removed in a court of law is Different from surrendering them. And the threat of all future children being removed from you is one of the motivators used to convince people to surrender as opposed to going to court and having them removed.

I do not know what would happen if they found someone who already had a child though, if that child would be removed, I would guess so, but it would be much harder for the state to know. It's pretty easy with a birth.

I am not talking out my rear end, I am a Foster parent so I work with this stuff in a state that has this law.
That's actually how friends of the family adopted both their children. The mother just kept having kids all over the province and CPS would take them away as soon as they were born. I'm not sure what she did that warranted something like that but it obviously wasn't good.

WeAreTheRomans
Feb 23, 2010
Probation
Can't post for 23 hours!


Big Centipede posted:

Her name's Joanne Tucker. I dated her when I was 16. Found out recently she's in the big house for punching her 5 week old baby to death and leaving it for her father to find. From what I hear, it was pretty horrific too.


You don't say?`

Voted Worst Mom
Jun 26, 2010



Marlboro Lover posted:

I phrased things poorly. I probably should have made the links and comments about those girls in a different post.

The strippers should definitely be set free. I'd be more than happy to take them in.

This post made laugh really hard. It's like you were already digging a hole to creepyland and then when you got called out on it, you pulled out a powershovel.

FiestaDePantalones
May 13, 2005

Kicked in the pants by TFLC

Rainbow Pony Deluxe posted:

This post made laugh really hard. It's like you were already digging a hole to creepyland and then when you got called out on it, you pulled out a powershovel.

He was already screwed. Might as well go big at that point.

Marlboro Lover
Apr 27, 2012


Rainbow Pony Deluxe posted:

This post made laugh really hard. It's like you were already digging a hole to creepyland and then when you got called out on it, you pulled out a powershovel.

I just think it is unfair for folks to say these beautiful ladies have no redeeming value just because they murdered folks, stole their identities, produced child pornography, committed robberies, or almost killed people. They're already suffering so much in prison, why...

I'm sorry, I just can't do it. Look, I'll be honest. If I did meet them in real life, I'd probably just have a one night stand with 'em and then ditch them. Anyone who says differently is either a liar or a fool.

VVVVV - BBWs need love, too. Besides, there are plenty of guys that are into women like that. I am not one of them. I am a very shallow person.

taupoke
Apr 26, 2008

by T. Finninho


gandhichan posted:

Say what you want, Diane doesn't give a gently caress




This site is kind of awesome, I've always wanted an inmate penpal.

Is that her baby?

Big Centipede
Mar 20, 2009

it tingles


WeAreTheRomans posted:

You don't say?`

I meant in the severity of the beating. She was just kinda dumb when we dated, I never would have imagined she'd do something so horrible, but a lot of stuff can happen in 14 years though.

Defenestration
Aug 10, 2006

This title certifies that Defenestration knows something about literature.

Sorry if our bitching about how exploitative and creepy this website and your reaction to it is is interfering with your ability to be exploitative and creepy about it.

Rahns
Feb 15, 2008
My ass belongs to peo

Marlboro Lover posted:


I'm sorry, I just can't do it. Look, I'll be honest. If I did meet them in real life, I'd probably just have a one night stand with 'em and then ditch them. Anyone who says differently is either a liar or a fool.


That would be fine and dandy until someone finds you impaled on a stake with your dick in a soup.

Marlboro Lover
Apr 27, 2012


Rahns posted:

That would be fine and dandy until someone finds you impaled on a stake with your dick in a soup.

I never said I was willing to date Lorena Bobbitt.

Mach5
Aug 1, 2004

Shatfaced!


Defenestration posted:

Sorry if our bitching about how exploitative and creepy this website and your reaction to it is is interfering with your ability to be exploitative and creepy about it.

On the flipside, at least now I know why my brother's ex-wife hasn't been around lately. THANKS, INTERNET!

berserker
Aug 17, 2003

My love for you
is ticking clock

Earwicker posted:

Isn't this literally a duplicate of a bigpeeler thread from like 6 years ago?

Six years is a long time. Some of these ladies could have children ready for incarceration by now! It's ripe to be shared again.

Dauq
Mar 21, 2008


What i find hilarious is that half of them have something like "i'm the kindest / nicest person you'll ever met, i just made a bad decision in my life just like everybody does ! (convicted for: murder / aggravated assault / armed robbery / child porn)" in their profile.

Yea those people are totally rehabilitated cut them some slack guys...

Mach5
Aug 1, 2004

Shatfaced!


So, what is the proper response to ingratiate oneself with these poor, fallen angels? Let's see here, 'Hello, I'm Mach5. I am a tall, manly, tatooed man who enjoys sunsets, freedom, and not punching babies to death. I enjoy: prison tattoos, the color orange, and the wit and wisdom of Joseph Arapio (because I am smart and ironic). Meet me at the Denny's on the I-35/I-40 junction when you get paroled, because I am not a serial k

God drat it, I suck at this.

Marlboro Lover
Apr 27, 2012


Mach5 posted:

So, what is the proper response to ingratiate oneself with these poor, fallen angels? Let's see here, 'Hello, I'm Mach5. I am a tall, manly, tatooed man who enjoys sunsets, freedom, and not punching babies to death. I enjoy: prison tattoos, the color orange, and the wit and wisdom of Joseph Arapio (because I am smart and ironic). Meet me at the Denny's on the I-35/I-40 junction when you get paroled, because I am not a serial k

God drat it, I suck at this.

It should probably go more like this: 'Hello, I am Marlboro Lover. I am a millionaire and I have lots of money. I have low self esteem and I am not very attractive. I always fall for the wrong women. Maybe you are the right one for me? We should discuss this further after I have paid your legal fees.'

Denny's isn't that bad of a restaurant, aside from being cheap. I love places where you can get breakfast at most hours of the day. (I hope that didn't make me sound like a creep...)

Grenade Gazelle
Apr 19, 2007


Marlboro Lover posted:

It should probably go more like this: 'Hello, I am Marlboro Lover. I am a millionaire and I have lots of money. I have low self esteem and I am not very attractive. I always fall for the wrong women. Maybe you are the right one for me? We should discuss this further after I have paid your legal fees.'



I think for some of them you could also add "I keep my doors unlocked at night, and am a heavy sleeper. I'm deathly allergic to many foods, so making my death seem accidental could be pretty easy for an enterprising young criminal. Would you like to be added to my will?"

gandhichan
Dec 25, 2009

There's a new terror of the skies, bitches.
AND HER HAIR IS PINK.

Defenestration posted:

Sorry if our bitching about how exploitative and creepy this website and your reaction to it is is interfering with your ability to be exploitative and creepy about it.

That aside I also don't see how WOAH LOOK OUT IT'S THE GOON MORALITY BRIGADE HERE TO RUIN A GOOD TIME or UGH WHITE KNIGHTS SWOOPING IN TO PROTECT FAIR INTERNET MAIDENS is any less catchphrase-y or unproductive than any other variation of "of course the GBS hivemind would react this way ". "White knight"'s use has been hyperextended to the point where it might as well mean "dude I don't agree with who- who probably doesn't get laid too!!!"

Marlboro Lover
Apr 27, 2012


Grenade Gazelle posted:

I think for some of them you could also add "I keep my doors unlocked at night, and am a heavy sleeper. I'm deathly allergic to many foods, so making my death seem accidental could be pretty easy for an enterprising young criminal. Would you like to be added to my will?"

This thread is making me want to go to Denny's and get their new meat lover's omelet.

quote:

Diced ham, crumbled sausage, chopped bacon, cheese sauce and shredded cheddar cheese in a three-egg omelet, served with two strips of bacon, two sausage links, hash browns and three buttermilk pancakes.

Calories: 1,590. Fat grams: 96. Carbs: 115 grams. Dietary fiber: 5 grams. Manufacturer's suggested retail price: $5.99.


If I can't have sex with an inmate, I guess I'll go for the next best thing. Can anyone honestly say the thought of eating that meal with a diet soda doesn't give them a boner?

gandhichan posted:

That aside I also don't see how WOAH LOOK OUT IT'S THE GOON MORALITY BRIGADE HERE TO RUIN A GOOD TIME or UGH WHITE KNIGHTS SWOOPING IN TO PROTECT FAIR INTERNET MAIDENS is any less catchphrase-y or unproductive than any other variation of "of course the GBS hivemind would react this way ". "White knight"'s use has been hyperextended to the point where it might as well mean "dude I don't agree with who- who probably doesn't get laid too!!!"

It's just weird to see people supporting criminals that like to take advantage of other people. Even if some of them are kinda cute.

Rubies
Dec 30, 2005

Live Forever
Die Every Day



This weird creepy thread makes me wish that someone smart would make a thread in GBS explaining the loving nightmare meat grinder prison system in the US. SA is a lot better than some other places I browse online but even still there's waaaay too many jokes about prison surprise sex, people saying prisoners deserve any lovely treatment they get, mocking people's mug shots, insulting and dehumanizing prostitutes, and other things of that sort.

It is truly hosed up how people watch cops and browse mugshots to catch a glimpse of people at the lowest points in their lives. I'm not the smartest dude in the room so I'd hate to start a thread as a misinformed person, but I just know it's wrong. Hopefully someone from D&D or something will see this bullshit exploitation thread before it gets gassed and gets inspired to make something that we can learn from about how this toxic country treats people who are charged with crimes.

Thulsa Doom
Jun 20, 2011

Ezekiel 23:20


WeAreTheRomans posted:

You don't say?`

I'm told the contest was not held under the rules of the Marquess of Queensbury.

scalded schlong
Sep 20, 2003



Rubies posted:

This weird creepy thread makes me wish that someone smart would make a thread in GBS explaining the loving nightmare meat grinder prison system in the US. SA is a lot better than some other places I browse online but even still there's waaaay too many jokes about prison surprise sex, people saying prisoners deserve any lovely treatment they get, mocking people's mug shots, insulting and dehumanizing prostitutes, and other things of that sort.

It is truly hosed up how people watch cops and browse mugshots to catch a glimpse of people at the lowest points in their lives. I'm not the smartest dude in the room so I'd hate to start a thread as a misinformed person, but I just know it's wrong. Hopefully someone from D&D or something will see this bullshit exploitation thread before it gets gassed and gets inspired to make something that we can learn from about how this toxic country treats people who are charged with crimes.

There was quite a good one in LF a fair while back - I mean, it talked about the absolutely horrifying and disgusting conditions so it's not good in that sense. You'll need archives to read it and fair warning, it'll probably stick with you for a while if you've any empathy.

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toby
Dec 4, 2002


What in the poo poo is this garbage, why is this posted, why are you all posting in it

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