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  What is Space Station 13? Space Station 13 is a multiplayer game on the BYOND platform. Centering around a research station owned by the giant corporation known as NanoTrasen somewhere off in deep space, you'll find yourself as a member of the crew helping to keep the station running in a tidy and ordered fashion. Join up in such roles as an Engineer, Scientist, Medical Doctor and try your best to make sure the station doesn't go to hell in a handbasket - a tall order indeed given that such hazards as traitors, alien creatures and terrorists have their own designs on the station. Then there's other risks of working in deep space, such as meteor showers, radiation storms, and various occupational hazards such as engine failiure or explosive asteroids when mining. Yeah right. What is Space Station 13 really? Oh fine. Space Station 13 is your own personal journey into the heart of a badly funded, horribly managed space station staffed by dysfunctional lunatics and sociopathic imbeciles who would just as quickly cave your skull in with a fire extinguisher as they would use their job positions to find new and exciting ways to torture you to death and mangle your corpse in a variety of very cruel, unusual and creative ways. The engineers are too busy smoking weed with the botanists (who have secretley laced it with LSD) to start the engine, the Security forces are hauling everyone off to the brig to never be seen again, the Medics are dropping napalm into their patients' eyeballs to see what happens and the Chef is gibbering in something that sounds vaguely like swedish while stuffing people into the meat grinder in his kitchen. All the while, the plots and schemes of traitors and madmen alike are clashing together and creating untold chaos while the whole station keeps on spiralling downards into its inevitable evacuation or destruction. Sometimes both! Sounds awesome. How do I play? As previously mentioned, Space Station 13 runs on the BYOND gaming platform. Let's get this out of the way now - BYOND is not very good. At all. The network is mostly cluttered up with various badly coded anime games and other horrors, with one or two notable exceptions. Murder Mansion is worth checking out, for example. Our wiki contains all the info you need to get set up to play, but in case you don't want to read that, here's the process: 1) Go to BYOND, download their client, and install it. 2) Register an account with BYOND. OPTIONAL STEP) If you want to authenticate your account as being goon-owned, go here and follow the instructions you're given. 3) Log into the BYOND client. If it pops up any updates at you, download them and restart the client. OPTIONAL STEP) If you want to have the servers on a quick list for you to click in BYOND, go to Space Station 13's byond page and add it to your favorites. You're now all set up to connect to the game! Bear in mind you want to connect to the "Gibbed" or "Galactic Order of Oppressive Neckbeards" servers if you want the goon servers. You can do that one of a few ways: * Click the links in your quick list, if you decided to set it up. * Hit Ctrl+O in the byond window and enter either byond://slurm.us:26300/ or byond://slurm.us:26400 in the prompt. * Have the byond client open and click one of these banners:   I joined the game and... what the gently caress is going on? How do I do anything?! I may have neglected to mention that this game has a kind of unforgiving learning curve. It's much better than it used to be, but compared to your average videogame there's a bit of figuring out and discovering you have to do before you can really function effectively. You may want to observe your first few games if you have the patience for it, just to get a feel for how the game generally goes down. Again, our wiki has an article to get you up to speed and you really should read it! In case you don't want to, here's some basic pointers but don't be suprised if you end up getting confused: * The big window on the left is the game window containing what your character can currently see. On the top right you've got the commands panel/tabs and on the lower right you have the text box, which shows a whole bunch of important stuff you'll need to know about. * Controls are both keyboard and mouse. Use the arrow keys to move your character around, and the mouse to interact with objects and select commands off the command panel. You can also type commands in manually. * If your main screen goes black, you've either been knocked out, blinded or are dying. * Once you're dead, you're dead for the rest of the round unless someone revives you. There's no need to hang around if you don't want to if you're dead, you can come back for another round later on once the current one is finished. * If you're confused about how to play, you can adminhelp us and ask how it's done. Try to actually make an effort to figure it out for yourself first please, though!  So i've figured out how to move around and all that. What now? Now you figure out what job you want to play as. The jobs aren't hard-locked or anything - anyone can do any task in the game, the jobs mainly decide who has access to what. If an assistant tries to get into Research for example, he'll find the doors won't even let him in because he's not supposed to be there! This goes for a few other things on the station too, but it's mostly the doors. Here's a basic rundown of the jobs and what they're expected to do: Command Staff Captain: Highest authority on the station. This is akin to painting a huge target on yourself. Head of Personnel: Direct superior of all civilian-class jobs. Sort of an evil vizier to the captain. Often vanishes without a trace a few minutes in. Chief Engineer: Direct superior of the engineering department. Slaps the Engineers for not starting the engine. Research Director: Direct superior of the science division. Decides who should be researching what. Head of Security: Direct superior of the station's security forces. A special job you can only get via application! Engineering Staff Engineer: Responsible for starting the engine and keeping up maintenance. They seldom do either. Electrician: Tinkers who can build all sorts of fixtures like vending machines and computers. Miner: Goes off to the asteroid belt and beats up rocks to get ore to send to the station. Quartermaster: Sell and order supplies for the station. Try to turn a profit by negotiating with traders. Science Staff Scientist: Does science on explosives, chemicals, artifacts and the fabric of space-time itself. Roboticist: One of two jobs capable of bringing back the dead. Puts people's brains into cyborg units. Geneticist: The other job capable of revival. Creates clones and superpowered mutants. Medical Doctor: Doesn't do any science, but tries to stop people from dying. Emphasis on "tries". Security Staff Security Officer: Tries to keep everyone from murdering each other. Throws criminals in the brig to cool off. Detective: Tries to find out who did the crimes. In theory. In practice he just shoots people with his gun. Civilian Staff Botanist: Grows plants and produce in Hydroponics. Yes, that includes weed. Chef: Makes meals for the crew, usually from the crew. Barman: A classy gent who reduces the bar's patrons to slurring, vomiting wrecks. Chaplain: Normally of minimal use, but immune to the evil spells of wizards and vampires. Assistant: The idea is they assist the other jobs with their duties. The reality is they're a hideous horde of grey-suited vermin. Okay, so I got myself a job. What happens now? You either do your job and try to help the station, or ignore it altogether and go on wacky hijinks of your choosing. That is if you don't run afoul of whoever the station's enemy is this round. The game is played in rounds that end when either the foes of the station win, or the station is evacuated and the work shift ends. (Evacuation is usually counted as a victory for the crew.) There's always a catch to the round though - a randomly selected crewmember could be a traitor with a mission and various devious spy gear, a hideous alien creature bent on absorbing the crew's DNA and stealing their identities, a vampire out to suck the crew's blood, an evil wizard with dark magic spells, or even more weird stuff can occur like a group of terrorists trying to blow the station up with a nuclear bomb, or an outright anti-capitalist revolution gripping the crew. Be aware that any of the crew may be trying funny stuff anyway, since that's the nature of the game - the game became popular from tales of it essentially being a grief simulator, and to some extent it still is. Bannings have been relaxed in recent weeks, though you'll still cop a punishment for being really rampantly unfunny. (Yes this is down to moderator discretion, so be sure your scheme isn't played out or trite before you carry it out.) I'm still not convinced this is the game for me... How about a list of various bits and pieces we've got going on? * Our coders add new features and squash bugs quite often. * Powerful admin tools allow our admins to spice up dull rounds with whatever gimmicks they may be able to think of. * Active admin staff keep stupid griefers and unfunny idiots off the servers. (Note that clever griefers are excluded from this treatment.) * It's easy to build new things with the raw resources lying around the station. Want to build your own room? Sure! Fill it with vending machines? Of course, just call an electrician! * A Chemicals and reagents system which interacts with all kinds of other game mechanics. Want to melt someone with acid by throwing it on their face? How about filling up a spritzer bottle with napalm for a deadly prank? * Ridiculous stories to be made and told by the various crazy poo poo the crew end up doing! * It's free!        Other Space Station 13 related threads on these forums: Old Old Thread - You'll need archives to view it. This one is OLD. Old Thread - Started April 2, 2010. Secrets of Space Station 13 - Found a cool or funny thing you'd like to share without everyone and their mother knowing about it? Post it here! SS13-related Sites you might like to visit: The Goonstation Wiki - The closest thing you'll get to a game manual. Be aware there's a lot of old and outdated information on here due to stuff in the game being changed quite often and the lack of wiki staff to keep it up to date and beat the crap out of the wiki in general. The Goonstation Forums - Got banned? Come here to appeal it. Got suggestions or want to discuss various things? We've got that too.  PLEASE DO NOT POST ANY UNBAN REQUESTS OR DISCUSS YOUR BAN IN THIS TOPIC, GO TO OUR FORUM TO TO THAT!All it does is generates a bunch of drama and pisses off the SA board administrators, which we don't want to do! Also, our IRC channel is #goonstation on synirc.net! I Said No fucked around with this message at Sep 13, 2012 around 11:19 |
| # ? May 16, 2012 23:15 |
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| # ? May 22, 2013 06:52 |
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Good OP. Still loving this game about 2D space mens even after all these years 
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| # ? May 16, 2012 23:24 |
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Is there going to be additional information about the remake going on or will that just get its own thread once it comes far enough long to get people playing?
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| # ? May 16, 2012 23:32 |
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Gonna write up a practical guide to the classes with stuff later.
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| # ? May 16, 2012 23:33 |
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bad op, who are you again?
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| # ? May 16, 2012 23:37 |
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Used to play this constantly years back. I just may have to do that again now.
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| # ? May 16, 2012 23:37 |
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There are a ton of posts about this game over in the Griefing thread, several of them mine. I don't think I'm going to crosspost mine since they're loving huge, but I think it would be a good idea for people to share their most hilarious/insane SS13 stories to tempt new players into giving the game a try. vvv Ok, prepare for huuuuuge (someone else can post DISASSEMBLE, preferably Cogwerks) vvv Angry Diplomat fucked around with this message at May 16, 2012 around 23:49 |
| # ? May 16, 2012 23:44 |
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Angry Diplomat posted:I don't think I'm going to crosspost mine since they're loving huge Do it, they're absolutely fantastic.
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| # ? May 16, 2012 23:44 |
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Don't forget the Disassemble incident! That one was awesome.
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| # ? May 16, 2012 23:46 |
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hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets
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The Doom Peel If a banana peel is left on the floor, anyone who steps on it will slip and fall down. There used to be a Clown job, which started with a banana and was mostly responsible for playing pranks, telling jokes, raising spirits, and getting brutally murdered by the psychotic crew. When my brother first started playing SS13, he chose Clown and spent the entire round slipping people with his banana peel, farting in their faces while they lay stunned, and then peeling out of there like a brightly coloured human rally car while furiously honking his bike horn. He did this so much and so competently that several people were actively trying to murder him, which of course led to more slipping, farting, and honking before he'd lie low in a locker somewhere until they gave up the search. One particular victim seemed to have terrible luck, as he ran afoul of my brother over, and over, and over again through no apparent fault of his own. He must have spent a third of the round lying on the floor with fart in his face and a cheery HONK HONK HONK ringing in his ears. After pratfalling for the fourteenth or fifteenth time, he impotently screamed, "CLOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!" at his retreating assailant. This had no effect, aside from causing my brother to laugh so hard that it brought him to tears. That victim was THE OVERWASP, one of the game's administrators.  Rather than get angry, THE OVERWASP saw the humour in my brother's clowny antics. He telepathically instructed him to stand next to his banana peel for a moment, then implanted the clown's consciousness into the peel itself, giving my brother the ability to move it around directly. As it turns out, a player-controlled banana peel is nothing short of apocalyptic in the right hands. The station rapidly descended into anarchy as police chases became Keystone Kopps fiascoes, Janitors were left facedown in their own suds, and panicking assistants fled shrieking from the demonically-possessed banana peel before it sent them tumbling facefirst into vending machines. In a desperate bid to restore order, one of the heads of staff seized the unholy fruit rind in his hand and stuffed it in his pocket. Striding triumphantly to the airlock to space the offending item, he met his doom when it leaped out of his pocket and slipped him, causing him to careen into the open void and be lost forever. The escape shuttle was called, and the crew fled in terror, abandoning the station to its new master: the Doom Peel. Don't accept drinks from The Devil I played a few rounds as a Bartender named The Devil, with a huge black beard and glowing red eyes. I would start the round by taking several pills of Kelotane (a drug that cures burn damage over time), drinking a bunch of welding fuel, returning to the bar, and setting myself on fire. This produced a large but short-lived cloud of flame around me, giving most of the bar an ominously scorched appearance, and it allowed me keep burning for an extremely long period of time. Because of the Kelotane in my system, the fire wouldn't actually hurt me; I could just stand around, blazing like a loving bonfire, chatting amiably with people as they tried to decide whether to order drinks or run for a fire extinguisher. So, when a crewmember walked into the bar, he would discover a charred hellhole staffed by a flame-wreathed, red-eyed man named The Devil. A surprising number of people decided to order drinks anyway. Now, I figure The Devil knows how to throw a loving party. He doesn't just chuck a case of beer on the counter and call it quits, right? So whenever someone ordered a drink, I would mix together some hard liquor (usually vodka and rum), spritz in some welding fuel, and use a syringe to transfer some of my own blood to the glass, creating an unholy devilblood cocktail. Occasionally I would poo and pee in the glass as well, adding Jenkem to the list of Terrible Things Nobody Should Drink that were in the concoction. Despite the fact that I did all of this gross poo poo in plain sight, just about everybody would take the drat thing and drink it anyway. Contrary to common sense, drinking that horrible sludge didn't really have any major negative effects, aside from moderate drunkenness and perhaps a mild Jenkem addiction. What's significant is that the welding fuel would remain in the imbiber's system for a while - and, party animal that he was, The Devil didn't skimp on the welding fuel. Most rounds, this all amounted to nothing more than an overeager assistant spraying me with an extinguisher, putting out my hellfire, and incurring the wrath of Satan. But on one fateful round, the Botanist left a shitload of weed in the bar for everyone to enjoy. Paper was found, joints were rolled, someone produced an igniter, and then it was time to spark up. The bar turned into a loving inferno. Some of the crew stopped, dropped, and rolled like sensible people, while others tried to flee in a drunken fiery panic, which was hilarious to watch because the really drunk ones had scrambled controls and would stagger around in random directions while screaming "Ooooohhhh ggggoooodddd!!" Throughout all of this, The Devil stood at his bar, unharmed by the omnipresent cloud of fire, and laughed uproariously while mainlining vodka. I don't think anybody died, but some people probably came close. Things just got funnier later on, as Engineering failed to do its job and the station's power went out of whack. Power surges caused lights to explode, and the drinkers who'd left before the fire got hit by the sparks, had the fuel still in their bodies ignite, and promptly immolated their surroundings while screaming in uncomprehending terror. It was Hell on Earth. It was also, to be honest, completely hysterical. I don't do that anymore, partly because it's kind of a dick move, partly because it gets old fast, and partly because an admin got pretty annoyed with me (but he was cool enough to settle for my promise not to do it anymore). Even so, though, I'll be damned if it wasn't some of the funniest poo poo I'd ever seen.
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| # ? May 16, 2012 23:47 |
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Don't accept medical treatment from The Devil: diabolic possession for fun and profit There used to be an SS13 job called the Head Surgeon, which entailed being in charge of Medbay, the Robotics lab, and the Genetics lab. Roboticists can remove brains from people and put them into robot bodies, creating cyborgs; for this reason, there are usually a couple of Assistants hanging out at the Robotics door, begging to be "borged" so they can be cool robot mans instead of lovely greysuits. Unbeknownst to many, brains can also be put into different bodies. This really doesn't give you anything except a dead dude with some other dude's brain in his head. However, if you bring that body back to life in some way (either using the Genetics lab to clone it, or using a particular complicated chemical mix to resurrect it with a chance of making it gib instead), the player that controls the new clone is determined by the brain - so you've got Joe Schmoe running around in John Q. Public's body. The Devil did not go to med school to save lives. He did not study and slave just so he could collect a fat paycheque. The Devil practices medicine because he loves to indulge his scientific curiosity (and because he likes the colour red). My early forays into brain transplantation went rather well. After a few misfires (the Robotics lab was full of blood, gibs, discarded brains, and rotting bodies with empty skulls), I finally got the hang of it and went looking for a likely victim volunteer. As luck would have it, I found a dead Quartermaster lying around in Medbay, and the body was fresh! I dragged him back to my operating table and excitedly pulled out his brain. Then I plugged it into another relatively intact body I had lying around, slapped the corpse into the cloning tube, and... discovered that he couldn't be cloned because the player had logged out. gently caress! My appointed lab assistant, a delightfully amoral Engineer with a suspiciously firm grasp of brain surgery, saw a silver lining. He laid out the plan, and before long it was The Devil's turn to lie on the operating table. A few snips later and a brand spanking new Quartermaster was stepping out of the cloning pod, naked as a jaybird and healthy as a horse. A Quartermaster with The Devil's brain. A Quartermaster who was literally The Devil in disguise. It took less than three minutes for me to completely embezzle the station's entire Cargo budget and funnel it straight into Robotics research. None of the other Quartermasters batted an eye when they saw their coworker walk in and start using the Cargo Bay computer. They sure did yell a lot when they saw that big fat 0 though. I just quietly continued my experiments while my Roboticist lackeys gleefully spent their vast fortune to research nicer cyborg upgrades. Science is its own reward~ Don't accept medical treatment from The Devil: in space, no one can hear you file a malpractice claim In a later round, I was eager to continue my highly unethical (read: highly hilarious) work. I promptly shuffled off to Robotics, prepped my surgical tools, and walked to the door to look for vict- oh hey an Assistant! What's up, little guy? You want to be borged? Hmm, I do need someone to donate a brain for a little experiment I'm planning. No, I promise I won't throw your brain in the garbage; you will be alive at the end of this. Yes, I know you want to be a Security cyborg - trust me, you will have a totally new lease on life by the end of this! Step into my office... Idiot brain in hand, I hurried off to Genetics and grabbed a monkey. Previous tests had proven that it was not possible to resurrect monkeys with human brains, which saddened me, but I had a different objective in mind this time around. I dragged the monkey over to the genetic engineering console, put it into the pod, and used my ~mad science~ knowhow to... improve it. Yes, a beautiful new human body for my eager test subject. He was not very happy to be revived as a black woman with Justin Bieber hair and a randomized name. After a lengthy tantrum and a minor physical altercation, I calmed my volunteer down by promising to fix the problem. If she would just step into the genetics pod, it would be quite simple for me to make a few little changes that would resolve her complaints. Mollified, the grumbling lass hopped into the pod, which I promptly locked before randomly rolling my face across the keyboard of the genetics computer, bombarding the subject with mutations willy-nilly for a short time. I unlocked the pod and proudly invited my volunteer to step out and survey the changes. "gently caress" screamed the black woman, falling to the ground and spasming madly, "What the gently caress did you do to me? PISS." "Interesting," said The Devil, consulting his medical scanner. "It would appear that you are suffering from epilepsy and Tourette's Syndrome." "COCK!" asserted the woman. "I'm going to loving kill you!" This drew a frown. "That is not very polite, madam. I was enjoying our professional relationship, but if you are going to behave in this way, I must ask you to leave. I will simply have to find another assistant." And that is why an insane homeless epileptic uncontrollably cursing naked black woman spent the rest of the round trying to convince anyone who'd listen that The Devil had stolen her identity. Angry Diplomat fucked around with this message at May 16, 2012 around 23:57 |
| # ? May 16, 2012 23:47 |
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My god, it's full of butt, part 1: the Cluwne factory One of the round types in SS13 is Wizard, in which a powerful wizard is tasked with completing several objectives, while the crew must attempt to kill him. Wizards get access to a huge variety of spells, but can only choose four of them from the list at the start of the round; these are the spells they are limited to for the whole round. One such spell is Curse of the Cluwne (at least, I think that's what it's called). This spell is generally considered a choice for "advanced" wizard players, since it has an extremely long cooldown, only targets one opponent, and can only be used at melee range, making it quite risky to use. It's still a popular spell, though, as it is far and away the griefiest spell of all. The Curse instantly transforms its victim into a Cluwne: a morbidly obese, subhuman, epileptic, brain-damaged, amazingly annoying ur-clown named "the cluwne" and wearing utterly hideous neon green clown clothing that is cursed and therefore cannot be removed. Cluwnes are traditionally marked for death by their non-cursed former comrades, and even when they manage to escape being murdered by an angry mob, they are so loving terrible at everything that their very existence is torment and they commonly wind up begging for death since their incredible incompetence can actually make it difficult for them to successfully commit suicide. I have played in quite a few Wizard rounds, but one still sticks out as my absolute favourite. The wizard went on a Cluwney rampage that was funny as hell on its own, but the actions of one enterprising Roboticist turned the round from "hilarious" to "oh jesus my sides I'm dying over here" in no time flat. This ambitious soul retrieved a murdered Cluwne and dragged it back to his lab; ordinarily this would be a reason for the Cluwne to rejoice, since a Cluwne brain can still function perfectly normally if transferred into a cyborg, granting the player a new lease on life. The Roboticist did not borg the Cluwne. He had other plans. Butt plans. The deceased sad-clown was delivered to Genetics, where the Roboticist and a Geneticist entered into collusion. Now two people were in on the butt plans. I have no idea what madness they got up to in there, but I do know that the second Roboticist was put on Butt Duty, bringing the known number of butt plan conspirators up to at least three. It is also likely that a delivery man was involved so as to speed the process along, as Butt Duty was a full-time job. All those butts had to come from somewhere, however: They were cloning Cluwnes. My god, it's full of butt, part 2: the buttening The mastermind behind it all sat contentedly at his operating table and worked with astounding assembly-line efficiency. Behind him was a locker with a seemingly limitless number of twitching, honking, weeping Cluwnes stuffed into it; he would grab a Cluwneclone, slap it onto the table, neatly slice off its butt, indifferently cut out its brain, hurl the dead body and retarded brain down the disposal chute while he set the butt to one side, and repeat. The man on Butt Duty would then grab the Cluwne butt and slap a robot arm onto it, creating a Buttbot, a butt on wheels that served no purpose except to be a butt and say the word "butt." The efficiency and hard work of the Butt Conspiracy paid off, and before long Medbay was entirely crammed with Buttbots, to the point where the entire area was rendered non-functional and impassable due to the surging ocean of little wheeled cyberbutts happily beeping "butt" in a tinny chorus. But(t) crowding was not the issue - Buttbots do one thing aside from simply say "butt" now and again. When a Buttbot hears someone speak, it has a chance to repeat what was said, with "butt" substituted in place of random words. This became an issue when the Captain strolled into Medbay and was aghast at its sorry state. "What the gently caress is going on here?" he shouted. The Buttbots chirped up in a gleeful, deafening chorus. "What the butt is butt on here?" "Butt the gently caress butt going on butt?" "What butt butt is going butt here?" and so on and so forth, in a disorienting wave of auditory butt. This infuriated the Captain further, but his hollering and order-giving only further excited the Buttbots, making it totally impossible for anyone nearby to hear what was said or get any idea of what the gently caress was going on amidst the titanic cacophony of butt. The Captain flew into a rage and decided to destroy all of the Buttbots, but he forgot that they leave smears of poo when destroyed; it was not long before he slipped head-over-heels and wound up prone and stunned in a puddle of human excrement, cursing relentlessly while the legion of Buttbots around him babbled back page upon page upon page of buttified imitation. Seeing this, some jokester took a radio, turned on its microphone so that it would publicly broadcast anything it picked up, and tossed it into the room. Well, poo poo, now nobody could hear anything. Every radio on the station became a hellish noise cannon, blasting out an incomprehensible wall of recursive butt laced with garbled cursing and butt-riddled mockeries of the crew's anguished cries for silence. At some point a bunch of the Buttbots came within hearing distance of the Cluwneclone closet; this is significant because Cluwnes will randomly and uncontrollably burst into fits of screamed honking. There were dozens of Cluwnes in that thing, and their eerie wails of HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK soon became a HONK HONK butt HONK butt blared forth from uncountable Buttbot speakers, received by the radio and broadcast throughout the station, magnifying upon itself until it was quite literally impossible to divine the slightest scrap of understanding from the game's text box as it was choked by dozens of pages of recursive buttspam per second. The Captain was helpless to stop it. The Roboticists were churning out Buttbots faster than he could destroy them, leaving him effectively stranded in the middle of the deafening, butt-packed hell that had once been Medbay. I don't even know what the gently caress happened to that wizard, and I don't care. He was not the true villain of that round. The Robutticists were. Angry Diplomat fucked around with this message at May 17, 2012 around 00:01 |
| # ? May 16, 2012 23:48 |
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Prokhor posted:Experiment? Yourself? gently caress that! Please enjoy this excerpt from the bomb makers handbook! It may be a tiny bit outdated. My earlier form wasn't comprehensive enough, I felt.
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| # ? May 16, 2012 23:52 |
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I remember playing Space Station 13 once. I logged in, apparently late into the game, as I was one of like 70 assistants and no other jobs were open. However, I got a perfect idea of what the game was all about. When I logged in, it took me like five steps to find myself in the middle of a room full of naked, grossly obese, extremely pale men making GBS threads everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE. The whole room was filled with smears of poo poo. As was the hall outside of it. And several other rooms nearby. I can't remember if the server crashed or my internet connection shat itself, but I was like 
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| # ? May 17, 2012 00:08 |
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I'm probably going to regret this but I'm going to give this a go once more. I used to be quite good engineer back in my days you know? Does the engine still require plasma canister detonation to start?
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| # ? May 17, 2012 00:12 |
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Nope, we're powered by black holes now.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 00:14 |
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Puistokemisti posted:I'm probably going to regret this but I'm going to give this a go once more. I used to be quite good engineer back in my days you know? Does the engine still require plasma canister detonation to start? Nope, that was a long time ago. The game has gone through a lot of changes since then.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 00:14 |
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Here are some comics that a bunch of us made about SS13. Enjoy or something.            Dr. Cogwerks fucked around with this message at May 17, 2012 around 00:29 |
| # ? May 17, 2012 00:25 |
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is go
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New station looks pretty cool. I like that research is all done on the main station now.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 00:27 |
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Angry Diplomat posted:Nope, we're powered by black holes now. This usually works out about as well as you'd expect.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 00:27 |
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And here's my Treason trilogy: Part One  Part Two  Part Three 
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| # ? May 17, 2012 00:31 |
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I miss the combustion engine, I used to convert part of it into a sauna.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 00:33 |
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Has security been removed yet? Because it probably should because if you play it you might end up getting banned.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 00:34 |
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Drone_Fragger posted:Has security been removed yet? Because it probably should because if you play it you might end up getting banned. Didn't even get past page 1... 
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| # ? May 17, 2012 00:50 |
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I've tried to get into this before. Thanks for the great writeup. I'm probably going to try this again tonight and this will help a lot.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 00:55 |
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Drone_Fragger posted:Has security been removed yet? Because it probably should because if you play it you might end up getting banned. You'll get banned if you're dumb, a jerk, or both, so just don't be a dumb jerk and chances are you'll be just fine 
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| # ? May 17, 2012 01:08 |
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Is there a guide to the simple controls? I've been playing for a few hours today but between the wiki and tutorials I've found, all I've been able to figure out is how to throw stuff and beat people up. I had drinks and medical supplies and stuff, but in my hands, they were all just weapons.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 01:54 |
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Friend posted:Is there a guide to the simple controls? I've been playing for a few hours today but between the wiki and tutorials I've found, all I've been able to figure out is how to throw stuff and beat people up. I had drinks and medical supplies and stuff, but in my hands, they were all just weapons. click on yourself with drinks and medical supplies to use them.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 02:07 |
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Friend posted:Is there a guide to the simple controls? I've been playing for a few hours today but between the wiki and tutorials I've found, all I've been able to figure out is how to throw stuff and beat people up. I had drinks and medical supplies and stuff, but in my hands, they were all just weapons. To open stuff, drag from the icon to your body. That will bring up the item's inventory. To use something on yourself, click yourself with the item in your active hand. The intent selector mostly determines what you'll do with an empty hand, but some items like stun batons are affected by it (Hint: use disarm to stun people). The person icon in the top right corner is the targeting selector. It changes which area you use stuff on. Target the head for removing brains, target the groin for removing butts.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 02:08 |
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I think I'm going to give the game a try tonight, but it all seems so overwhelming even after reading pretty much the whole wiki. Oh well, hope I don't get murdered too bad.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 02:31 |
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Rollie the Guar posted:Oh well, hope I don't get murdered too bad. Oh you will, just around 1/2 to 2/3 of the time it will be hilarious.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 02:51 |
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I give you about a 75% chance that your first death will be self inflicted.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 03:01 |
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75% on top of that that your death will be by spacing.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 03:04 |
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Well, I got drunk, passed out and woke up as a cyborg, so go me.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 03:17 |
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Rollie the Guar posted:Well, I got drunk, passed out and woke up as a cyborg, so go me. You're ahead of the curve.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 03:20 |
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Zaldron posted:I give you about a 75% chance that your first death will be self inflicted. Definitely this. I remember my first time playing, I was the janitor and I never even made it out of my closet as I'd managed to asphyxiate myself whilst learning the controls.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 03:28 |
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Somehow, my first death was at the hands of someone else. Some shitlorde had a hardon for Batman and randomly assaulting assistants. Still took him three tries and over 10 minutes to kill me.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 03:35 |
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Rollie the Guar posted:Well, I got drunk, passed out and woke up as a cyborg, so go me. I thought I was in the Bachelor Goons thread for a second, and this was a very confusing post. Anyway, thanks for all the tips, everybody.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 03:39 |
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Well that was officially the most boring round I have ever played.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 04:35 |
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| # ? May 22, 2013 06:52 |
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I have no idea what I'm doing. And I can't tell if the delay between my button presses are normal, or if its lag. And then the game kept saying DAVE. Then my wife yelled at me, so I'll try again. I can't find a resource that points out what all my buttons do.
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| # ? May 17, 2012 04:45 |
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