Space Station 13 - The Something Awful Forums

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CappyBottoms: Jan 9, 2009

Dr. Cogwerks posted:

Captain is one of the best jobs for fuckabouts.

How to be a Good Captain (TM):
1) Put the nuke disk inside your spare ID box and keep that in your backpack.
2) Keep a taser on your belt, not the energy gun. Keep that in your bag, I guess, but don't bring it out in a fight unless it's absolutely necessary.
3) Don't go looking for fights. ToughGuy McGunCaptain isn't your job title and when you inevitably get killed, your killer now has full access to everything.
4) Hire an assistant to be your bodyguard and start wandering around, visit the bartender, visit the chemists, make fun of the quartermasters, say hello to people and ask if they need anything.
5) Chat with prisoners. Get them a beer or a bag of chips, pardon them if they're chill.
6) If the crew disappoints you, requisition the entire liquor closet and drink it all on the bridge while *crying and petting Jones until the medics straightjacket you.

Basically with a balance of being irresponsible yet cheerful, the crew will often keep themselves in line and happily throw themselves into danger. Silly captains have a vastly higher survival rate.

Cogs...I love you.

Apparently I was job banned from Captain which doesn't bother me at all. As Pookie I always tried to be the most chill Clown Captain but it always resulted with my death. Captain is hard to do but if you learn to do it right the level of entertainment is amazing for everyone!

I like to offer my clown services as a bodyguard to most people playing the role now. There is always something to do when you are rolling with them.

I wish I was able to play more but Day Z is consuming all my free time.

# ? May 18, 2012 21:58

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# ? May 25, 2013 12:40

Bedshaped: Apr 1, 2010

CappyBottoms posted:

Cogs...I love you.

Apparently I was job banned from Captain which doesn't bother me at all. As Pookie I always tried to be the most chill Clown Captain but it always resulted with my death. Captain is hard to do but if you learn to do it right the level of entertainment is amazing for everyone!

I like to offer my clown services as a bodyguard to most people playing the role now. There is always something to do when you are rolling with them.

I wish I was able to play more but Day Z is consuming all my free time.

You're the worst clown. But you make me the angriest so that probably actually means you're the best

I did love when admins changed you name to "Pukkie" and made you vomit everywhere.

# ? May 18, 2012 22:25

CappyBottoms: Jan 9, 2009

Bedshaped posted:

You're the worst clown. But you make me the angriest so that probably actually means you're the best

I did love when admins changed you name to "Pukkie" and made you vomit everywhere.

I am small time when it comes to Chips Ahoy. If you ever see him in action then you will understand. Chips has done things while wearing that clown wig that to this day still amazes me.

Pukey disease rocks. I love the random times when it hits. One time it happened to me near medbay. I turned black, my skin kept shifting around, I was puking and making GBS threads everywhere and was immortal. The crew kept beating me to death only for the torture clown to rise again. Each time more puke, poo poo, and skin shifting.

Good times.

I am also probably the only player that loves being turned into a cluwne.

# ? May 18, 2012 23:22

Tsurupettan: Mar 26, 2011; My many CoX, always poised, always ready, always willing to thrust.

As captain I enjoy grabbing a random assistant, offering them any non-head job they desire. With one stipulation: They strip and trade outfits with me.

# ? May 18, 2012 23:24

Geekkake: Mar 27, 2010

Tsurupettan posted:

As captain I enjoy grabbing a random assistant, offering them any non-head job they desire. With one stipulation: They strip and trade outfits with me.

Hahahaha "I'll never get a real feel for the crew while they're focused on my uniform!" I love it.

# ? May 18, 2012 23:31

Tsurupettan: Mar 26, 2011; My many CoX, always poised, always ready, always willing to thrust.

Geekkake posted:

Hahahaha "I'll never get a real feel for the crew while they're focused on my uniform!" I love it.

It's like Undercover Boss IN SPACE!

# ? May 18, 2012 23:55

Prokhor: Jun 28, 2009; In one moment, Earth; in the next, Heaven.

You'll pull the one problematic engineer aside in some dark musty maint corridor and put your captains hat on saying "Surprise! I'm the captain of this ship and I've got your performance report for you." and the only thing you'll get in reply is a fire extinguisher to the side of your head.

# ? May 19, 2012 00:38

Eponymous: Feb 4, 2008; Maybe I just want to be happy, huh?! Maybe I want my life to not be a trainwreck for five GOD DAMN minutes?!

I just was Quartermaster, and we kind of got screwed as far as materials: none in high demand, and it wasn't going to reset for 45 minutes. The other Quartermaster said I should just do whatever that round, and I (having just found out last game you could bulk order monkeys) asked if I should distribute monkeys ~~randomly~~charitably to different sections of the station. She said this was the best idea.

The problem was, a wave of nausea and diarrhea swept the station, and midway through explaining to a customer that his order of metal wasn't on the shuttle we both fell over and started making GBS threads ourselves. Over the radio I learned the shipping budget had gotten emergency funds for cleaning supplies, but I had barely offloaded one crate of monkeys before people showed up to find out why I was being so slow about ordering them. Thankfully, they started helping me offload the monkeys so I could send the shuttle back...

...And then giant unspeakable monsters appeared, chasing and beating me constantly. I could already barely move through the widening oceans of feces, so in desperation I opened as many monkey crates as I could to distract/feed the monsters. Immediately after, radio chatter makes it obvious that the monsters are just hallucinations.

Then the station started rotation randomly, and the monkeys attacked me. "EVERYTHING IS MONSTERS, MONKEYS, AND poo poo! HELP ME!"

Sorry guys.

Sorry about those monkeys.

# ? May 19, 2012 01:36

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets hatchets

You can bulk-order monkeys? Hot drat, Quartermaster is suddenly an interesting job

# ? May 19, 2012 01:58

Geekkake: Mar 27, 2010

Malachite_Dragon posted:

You can bulk-order monkeys? Hot drat, Quartermaster is suddenly an interesting job

Yeah, it's gonna be monkey business all day and night now.

# ? May 19, 2012 02:13

SpazmasterX: Jul 13, 2006; MORE ROBUST THAN EVER BEFORE.

Malachite_Dragon posted:

You can bulk-order monkeys? Hot drat, Quartermaster is suddenly an interesting job

Yup. They're marked for research but they definitely aren't cardlocked for 'em!

# ? May 19, 2012 04:26

neogeo0823: Jul 4, 2007; hello i am your shadow how nice to meet you

I really have to start playing more often.

So, since we're posting stories, I'll post my two favorite personal ones. This first one is from back on donut station, after I had maybe 3 or 4 rounds under my belt.

quote:

It started out pretty blandly. I joined late and had to be an assistant. I wandered around the corridors until I reached genetics. "Come one, come all! Everybody come on over to genetics and have your wildest dreams come true!" boomed a voice from the doorway. My curiosity was piqued, so I knocked on the glass door and asked what sort of wild dreams they would be providing, but received no answer.

Well, fine. I'll just go off and have my own wild dreams then. Screw you guys. I wandered around the station until I found a random door leading into the dark maintenance hallways that opened for me. Cautiously, I wandered in. I knew I wasn't exactly supposed to be there, but hey, why not? I turned on my PDA light and explored around until I found a crate filled with electrical tools. Cool! Now I might actually be able to do something useful.

I kept wandering around the hallways until I discovered a broken panel that lead into ~~what I think was the HOS office~~turns out it was the detective's office. It had a terminal with security cameras, some kind of recharger, a locker, and a desk with a bottle of vodka on it. I knew that guy must need to drink on the job. After viewing the cameras for a bit, I wandered back into the passageway.

I could see a thin red line running along the floor that must indicate power going somewhere. Hmm, I wonder what this powers? What would happen if I were to cut it? I'll just use the crowbar I picked up to lift up the panel covering it a-*ZAP*

I lay unconscious for a moment until some other person passes me by and revives me. I thank them and they go on their way. Oh! that wire was live AND uncovered. Ok, that must be why I got shocked when I hit it with the crowbar. this time, I'll use the wire cutters and carefu-*ZAP*

Welp, that didn't work, either. I'm now unconscious again. Another person wanders by and revives me again. I thank them as well and decide that playing with power isn't really worth it.

I wander along some more until I come upon an unconscious person. Examining them reveals that they may, in fact, be dead. Before I can do anything about it, yet another person comes along and drags them away. Just as I'm about to ask them what's going on, a 2nd body appears in the hallway, this one entirely naked. Apparently, it came from a chute that was running along the floor. Suddenly, 3 more copies of that same body come flying out of the chute. The person comes back from dragging the first body away and informs me that the 4 people here are the results of a guy being cloned a bunch of times and killed. Ok... that seems odd... But whatever. I offer to help him move them and he declines, so I go on my way.

Very shortly after leaving that mess, I pass by a person in the passageway. The person turns around, runs up to me, then turns and runs away again. Ok, that's a bit weird but whatever... Oooohhhhh bbbooooyyyy.... I dunt felll gud... *drool* *thud*

My vision alternated between the darkness of sleep, and a weird white haze as I fade in and out of "reality". I can see myself being dragged somewhere and I desperately try to resist whatever's going on and wake myself up. I can sometimes hear another person snoring nearby. I begin to fear for my life.

Eventually though, my vision clears and I am able to stand up. I have no idea where I am or what's going on. I know I'm in a dark room on the edge of the station, and that there's a glass window looking out into space with a nice view of a couple guys in space suits doing... something out there. But something's wrong. I can't walk properly. My speech is slurred and I'm acting weirdly. Just trying to go in one direction has my feet moving randomly as if I'm pressing every direction key at once.

I try to use my radio, but find I lack the coordination to do so. One of the guys outside glides over to the window and begins tapping on it with a fire extinguisher. I try to wave, but instead, I drool, then giggle, then poo poo and pee myself a bit. I think I'm going insane. this is some weird dream, and I have no idea what to do.

Just as I regain the ability to walk right, the guy outside smashes through the glass window and into the room, evacuating all the air. I drag myself out of the room just in time to avoid suffocation, and find myself in... I think the chapel. There are 2 people in there, busily arranging food items in a meticulous pattern. There's splatters of blood and poo all over the walls. I try to calmly ask them if they know what's going on, but all I can manage to do is jabber and scream my words. I'm still farting, peeing, giggling, and falling over uncontrollably, and generally acting very strangely.

Without saying anything, the two people get up and begin moving towards me, in perfect unison. I freak out a bit and make a dash for the glass door, slamming into it face first and falling over onto the floor, like some unlucky cat in a cartoon. As I pull myself back up, the door opens and I hightail it out of there before those two creeps can get me.

I wander through the halls, attempting to get help from any of the people wandering around, all the while trailing poo poo stains and pee behind me. Eventually, I make it to medical, which in retrospect was a mistake.

I never got to see inside medical. The door would not open for me. Two men dressed in pink jumpsuits and another in a grey shirt were there. The pink guys were milling around, doing various things and the grey one was standing there, pants-less, with a literal stream of diarrhea and blood just flowing from him endlessly. One of the pink guys grabs a fire extinguisher and belts the pooing man in the head. He goes down and falls unconscious in his own feces, still making GBS threads nonstop, while the other guy just keeps bashing his head in with the fire extinguisher.

I'm screaming for anyone in medical to come and help me, but the words just won't flow properly out my mouth. It's all either slurred, or muddled together incomprehensibly. Eventually, I guess the pooing man died, because he stopped making GBS threads everything around him. The pink guy with the fire extinguisher turns to me and belts me in the head, knocking me down. I'm able to resist, get up, and disarm him of his fire extinguisher. I hit him once with it, throw it at him, and sprint as fast as I can away from medical before he can get up.

I continue down the halls, back to where it all began: Genetics. The door to genetics is open, so I wander in. There's 2 people in there, one on his back, the other standing there, both apparently brain dead. I try to give myself a dose of antitoxin to see if it will help cure me, but can't figure out how to make it work and end up hitting myself instead. I still can't use the radio right, so I figured I'd just wait till someone came in who looked like they knew what they were doing and ask for help.

Well, to my surprise, the very next person to walk in was the guy I saw in that dark room, breaking out the windows. He walks in, and the door shuts behind him. I'm now locked in here with him. Awesome. He ignores my cries for help and walks over to the window and bashes on it with a fire extinguisher. I grab whatever i could and try to stop him, but he turns around, beats me into unconsciousness, and continues his work. I recover just in time to see him break through the window and evacuate all the air from the room. Awesome. I start choking, and quickly die of asphyxiation.

Oh great. So that's how this ends. I can hear the ghosts talking now, and I'm kinda pissed. All that stuff was happening, and I'm dead because some rear end in a top hat decided he wanted a convenient doorway out into space from genetics. But what's this? He's dragging my body. Where's he taking me? My vision goes black and I get a little warning saying "cloning process initiated".

After a few minutes, I step out of the cloner, naked, with no equipment. The space man is nowhere to be seen, nor is my original body and gear. I'm still trapped in the room, which is exposed to the vacuum of space, but I'm essentially all better now. That's... an interesting turn of events.

I dash for the door and begin screaming to anyone that can hear me to open up, for the love of god, I'm gonna die in here! Luckily, someone wandered up to the door and it opened for them, which allowed me to dash to freedom, and life. Hooray! I'm alive! Again! I'm naked, tool-less, and confused, but I'm alive. And that's when I got the warning that the shuttle will be arriving soon.

I walk through the hallways, surveying the situation. Everywhere is anarchy. The walls and floors are almost completely covered in poo and blood. People are running through the halls in a panic, attacking each other. One man ran by me, stopped, quivered furiously and exploded into a shower of guts and blood. What the flying hell?! I need to get out of here!

As I walked through the halls, I come across Officer Beepsky. Surely, he/it should know what the gently caress, right? WRONG. Beepsky heads straight for me, stuns me knocks me down, and cuffs me. Before anything else can happen, a passerby drags me away, stands me up, uncuffs me, and brings me back around. I can't even type out a proper thank you before another person runs up to me, pushes me down, and tries to cuff me as well. I'm able to resist and get up, and the helpful stranger starts shouting "RUN" while leading me down the hallway.

Well, run I did. I ran like the wind all the way back, past genetics, past the medical area, which was nothing but poo, gibs, and battered, blood soaked bodies, and all the way up to arrivals. I figure that if I can get to the shuttle, I'll be safe. I can hide in the crowd, run around in there, whatever needs to be done. I just have to get to the shuttle.

I ran straight for the shuttle airlock with the guy who tried to cuff me right on my heels. Just keep running until you get there. You'll be safe on the shuttle. Just as I ran up to the airlock, I experienced a bit of lag. I think someone set off a bomb of some kind, because there was this tremendous sound and a flash of light. the very next thing I could see was me, floating out in space, since I apparently ran out the airlock when the shuttle hadn't even arrived yet.

There was a moment of panic there. My mind went through all the different ways I could try to get back. But I was naked, and couldn't even bring myself to poo, in the hopes of throwing it and hoping to glide back. Then a steady peace washed over me as my skin began to freeze and my blood boiled. There was no turning back. No way to survive. Ah well. Better out here than at the end of some rear end in a top hat's stun baton, I suppose. I died just as I closed out the window.

This next one is from a dull round that turned amazing thanks to a creative HoP and a bored me.

quote:

I spawned as an assistant right at the start of the round. So I went to the HoP and asked for a job change. He asked what I wanted, so I said "I dunno. Give me something fun, I'm sick of being an engineer all the time." So he changed my ID to all access and gave me the title of Superhero clown! Hooray!

The first thing I did was decide on a costume, which was the grey and green suit from the chapel. Next, I went to genetics and asked for super powers, but they didn't know how to give me super powers, so that was out. Thinking quickly, I went to sec and explained the situation and asked for some gear. After a quick raid of a locker and another trip to the courtroom for a black suit, I was essentially Batman. High tech detective crime fighter!

cloaked with my black suit, riot armor, swat helmet, and insulated gloves(Why can't I make black ones? ), and armed with internals, a crowbar, a couple of flashes, some handcuffs, and a couple of tools, I set out to work, watching over the station and trying to protect it from any would-be criminals.

Luckily, I didn't have to wait long. There were reports of a man beating people for no reason around arrivals, as well as another man who had a serious grudge against one of the sec officers. Between them and a space kudzu outbreak, We all had our hands full. At the very end of the round, we had captured one guy for the 2nd time, after he had been beating new assistants to death at arrivals, and he managed to unbuckle himself from the bed in the brig and begin beating down the officer there. I was able to get into the brig just in time to save the officer, but the guy got away and jumped the captain just as the round ended.

So all in all, I didn't get too much accomplished, but the round was really fun and lasted one hell of a long time as well, so it was a great experience.

# ? May 19, 2012 04:33

Space Jam: Jul 22, 2008; I wish, bro.

What happened to the boxing ring?

# ? May 19, 2012 08:04

Dauntasa: Apr 17, 2011; Hey Dauntasa,
where's my million dollars in Nigerian gold?

Mr.Bond posted:

What happened to the boxing ring?

It did not make it to the new station. It's in VR now, sadly.

# ? May 19, 2012 09:57

GreyCentipede: Feb 8, 2012

I've noticed a lot of people reminiscing about how good the old 20-30 minute rounds were and complaining how people seem to get mad if someone calls the shuttle 15-20 minutes in now. They changed the coding on the in game timer a while ago, it used to be almost half as slow as the actual time that passed and is now accurate, the old 20-30 minute rounds were actually 40 minutes to an hour or so long, and calling the shuttle 15 minutes in now is the equivalent of calling the shuttle 7-9 minutes in a long time ago.

The main reason people complain about calling the shuttle really early like that is that any traitor action more complicated than instantly spawning a cyalume saber or butchers knife and just attacking everyone you see, is going to take more than 15-20 minutes to do.

A round 15-20 minutes long is almost unwinnable for a changeling, and is close to physically impossible for a vampire due to the speed at which blood is drained. I know half the fun stuff you can do as traitor involves ignoring your objective but someone making it impossible to complete due to time constraints removes the other half and makes most of the interesting stuff you would want to do take too long to do anyways.

Another reason rounds feel like they're longer is that both revolution and wizard are currently out of rotation, and so nuke is the only potentially short round type currently running, so we don't get many of those 5 minute "every wizard died as soon as they entered the station" or "revhead rushed all the heads and solo killed them all" type rounds as intermissions between the long "vampire took 30 minutes to get enough blood to even have abilities that do anything" rounds.

# ? May 19, 2012 17:11

GreyCentipede: Feb 8, 2012

Basically what I'm saying with all that is that it looks like someone forgot to put wizard back on the secret rotation list when they were setting it up again after the mixed mode testing, at least over on gibbed 3, and the wizard deficiency is slowly eroding our ability to sense the passage of time. We need our wizards back, the corruption mechanic is going totally to waste in mixed mode.

# ? May 19, 2012 17:21

IShallRiseAgain: Sep 12, 2008; Well ain't that precious?

SpazmasterX posted:

Yup. They're marked for research but they definitely aren't cardlocked for 'em!

Just remember to not overdo this gimmick or we might have to fix it.

# ? May 19, 2012 17:23

procitizen: May 9, 2010; HYUK HYUK HYUK

Why would we ever change this?

# ? May 19, 2012 17:32

IShallRiseAgain: Sep 12, 2008; Well ain't that precious?

You can order a lot more monkeys than that. I think I was the one who started the trend, by ordering enough monkeys to completely fill both the QM area, and the hallway to escape with monkeys.

# ? May 19, 2012 17:38

OrangeSoda: Oct 8, 2007; OrangeSoda digivolved into Monzaemon!

OrangeSoda has unlocked BEAR POWERS!

Eponymous posted:

I just was Quartermaster, and we kind of got screwed as far as materials: none in high demand, and it wasn't going to reset for 45 minutes. The other Quartermaster said I should just do whatever that round, and I (having just found out last game you could bulk order monkeys) asked if I should distribute monkeys ~~randomly~~charitably to different sections of the station. She said this was the best idea.

The problem was, a wave of nausea and diarrhea swept the station, and midway through explaining to a customer that his order of metal wasn't on the shuttle we both fell over and started making GBS threads ourselves. Over the radio I learned the shipping budget had gotten emergency funds for cleaning supplies, but I had barely offloaded one crate of monkeys before people showed up to find out why I was being so slow about ordering them. Thankfully, they started helping me offload the monkeys so I could send the shuttle back...

...And then giant unspeakable monsters appeared, chasing and beating me constantly. I could already barely move through the widening oceans of feces, so in desperation I opened as many monkey crates as I could to distract/feed the monsters. Immediately after, radio chatter makes it obvious that the monsters are just hallucinations.

Then the station started rotation randomly, and the monkeys attacked me. "EVERYTHING IS MONSTERS, MONKEYS, AND poo poo! HELP ME!"

Sorry guys.

Sorry about those monkeys.

This is an amazing story, but what's with the green and blue gibs?

# ? May 19, 2012 17:50

Mice Everywhere: Sep 7, 2007

OrangeSoda posted:

This is an amazing story, but what's with the green and blue gibs?

Those are clown gibs I believe.

# ? May 19, 2012 17:52

PopeCrunch: Feb 13, 2004; internets

OrangeSoda posted:

This is an amazing story, but what's with the green and blue gibs?

Yeah that was me - a sec guard was freaking out and screaming about how nobody better mess with his monkeys, so I started clowngibbing the monkeys around him.

# ? May 19, 2012 19:39

Tiler Kiwi: Feb 26, 2011; kobold not even supposed to be here today

I hate when I die from space exposure.

I can't tell if I'm going slow because of the cold or because the server chose that exact moment to lag to hell. Either way, I'm watching my character move each tile so loving slowly as I mash the directional button until I fall over and die after opening a door to safety.

In short, gently caress space.

# ? May 19, 2012 20:31

Holistic Detective: Feb 2, 2008; effing the ineffable

Tiler Kiwi posted:

In short, gently caress space.

New thread title?

# ? May 19, 2012 20:34

Jeff Goldblum: Dec 3, 2009

EDIT: There's an appeal forum, I'll check that out too.

Space Station 13: Open The Poo Bay Doors, HAL

Jeff Goldblum fucked around with this message at May 19, 2012 around 20:53

# ? May 19, 2012 20:38

Infinite Monkeys: Jul 18, 2010

Holistic Detective posted:

New thread title?

Yeah, this thread has a boring title

# ? May 19, 2012 20:45

Elth: Jul 28, 2011

Hey, why isn't

DON'T POST UNBAN APPEALS HERE

in the OP like the last thread? There's a mention of the forum at the very bottom but it's not nearly visible enough.

# ? May 19, 2012 20:53

Mr. Showtime: Apr 24, 2009; ROBUST COMBAT
Leonard Riflepiss

Enallyniv posted:

I'm not AWOL! I've always been reachable on steam or skype or any of those dumb things!

Who is this guy?

# ? May 19, 2012 21:46

IShallRiseAgain: Sep 12, 2008; Well ain't that precious?

Jeff Goldblum posted:

EDIT: There's an appeal forum, I'll check that out too.

Space Station 13: Open The Poo Bay Doors, HAL

Oh god you,

Jeff Goldblum posted:

You guys are taking surprise sex in a totally different light from its intention.

When you decide to bash my face in with a fire extinguisher and strip all my clothes off then jam me down a disposal unit, that qualifies just as much as "surprise sex." You don't have to start some complicated sex roleplay.

We don't want creepy fucks like you.

IShallRiseAgain fucked around with this message at May 19, 2012 around 22:05

# ? May 19, 2012 22:01

uG: Apr 23, 2003; Whoa, where am I?

How do I get more flashes? After like 3 borgs I run out...

# ? May 19, 2012 22:04

Bedshaped: Apr 1, 2010

uG posted:

How do I get more flashes? After like 3 borgs I run out...

Get someone to hack the fabricator, then you can make unlimited as long as you have the minerals.

Otherwise you could always beg security for some.

# ? May 19, 2012 22:18

I Said No: May 21, 2007

Elth posted:

Hey, why isn't DON'T POST UNBAN APPEALS HERE in the OP like the last thread? There's a mention of the forum at the very bottom but it's not nearly visible enough.

Done and done. I should have thought of that to begin with.

Also I just.. completely forgot to even make a punny title or anything when I made the thread. It'd probably end up getting outdated anyway.

# ? May 19, 2012 22:30

Geokinesis: Jan 22, 2012; The Creation of Wealth

uG posted:

How do I get more flashes? After like 3 borgs I run out...

Hack the Fabricator yourself, you have a multitool and a screwdriver in robotics so you can easily get it done.

# ? May 19, 2012 22:31

Prokhor: Jun 28, 2009; In one moment, Earth; in the next, Heaven.

IShallRiseAgain posted:

Oh god you,

my favorite time period was when you couldnt say anything racial or homophobic but you had a muslim chaplain spawning with a suicide vest, eating faggots gave you the gay disease, and jewish rabbis started with space cash

# ? May 19, 2012 22:55

Goodfeila: Apr 25, 2010; All of this is part of Zero Sr.'s plan.

Showtime 104 posted:

Who is this guy?

The host of the wiki I believe, should be apparent from the context

# ? May 19, 2012 22:59

Tiler Kiwi: Feb 26, 2011; kobold not even supposed to be here today

Well, I just got done with my first full round as captain. I spent most of it shouting random nonsense over the radio channel, and sponsoring the establishment of a combat arena, made of thermite and on fire. It started off sort of slow; I had made the pronouncement that any dispute between crewmembers would be settled via duels, and it sort of spiraled out of control from there. At first, I tried to organize one on one duels of honor, but it soon descended into a bloody pit of death, with random combatants leaping into it, saws and oxygen tanks swinging. Several good men died, and some of those lucky victims found themselves condemned to borgdom for the unforgivable crime of meeting defeat in the flaming arena.

The round had been going on a very long time, when I decided to go into the ring myself. A brave soul named Jebidiah had challenged me for the title of captain; Though he nearly bested me, the battle quickly went in my favor, with him lying broken on the ground before me, convulsing as death sought to claim him. Another crew man attempted to shank me with a screwdeiver, resulting in a massive free for all in the arena, where I nearly got killed with a cranium saw. I woke up in medbay after being pulled to safety, called the shuttle, and survived the sudden incursion of man eating plants in QM to escape. I lost my hat though, so it was all a wash.

My crew (especially Super Cop Johnny D and the borg crew for taking down two changelings) basically handled everything else themselves for 100 minutes and I just sat in a chair screaming "TO THE DEATH". I don't think I did anything productive at all!

# ? May 19, 2012 23:02

uG: Apr 23, 2003; Whoa, where am I?

It was the worst match i've played so far. And I even did the stupid fight, and almost killed you outside of the arena.

# ? May 19, 2012 23:05

Tiler Kiwi: Feb 26, 2011; kobold not even supposed to be here today

Leaping on people with a saw unannounced in the Arena of Fire is unsportsmanlike. Doing the same thing while said person is waiting for the escape shuttle is doubly so.

# ? May 19, 2012 23:09

uG: Apr 23, 2003; Whoa, where am I?

Because you backed out of my challenge. I probably would have been afraid to go into the ring with me too, though.

But yes, 90 minute rounds with no available QMs are lots of fun.

# ? May 19, 2012 23:12

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 25, 2013 12:40

Tiler Kiwi: Feb 26, 2011; kobold not even supposed to be here today

I asked a few times if people wanted the shuttle called. Didn't hear anything about QMs or I would have drafted people, but yeah, at 80 minutes it was getting pretty long. I didn't want to end it just because of time, though, since thats also pretty dumb on its own.

Also I didn't accept your challenge since I didn't see it and/or was busy with captain things. Also you were a crazy guy with a saw and I don't think I would have accepted it anyways even if I wasn't being distracted from my cage matches.

I reserve the right to be a coward.

# ? May 19, 2012 23:17

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