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I do not understand why guys who are younger than me (I'm twenty) are hitting on my mother...and also sleeping with her. Especially my gay former classmate. I can't come home on any given night without hearing about one of her "boy toys" texting her or calling her or messaging her to hang out and [REDACTED]. She seems to enjoy telling me in great detail what these boys are asking her to do for them. Those who are NOT younger or even close to my age ask about me all the time. There have been several attempts to get me into a threesome. There has been one attempt to bribe my mother into marrying someone's cousin for a visa. There have been numerous suggestions that the men want to come over and sneak upstairs to play with me. If that's not enough, my mother had me take nudes of her for one of her "Masters".  It has been months and I am still traumatized. What's the best way to tell her that she's completely batshit insane and disgusting, and that she needs to act her age and leave me out of this? Sidenote; this all started AFTER I got out of therapy for things she triggered.
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| # ¿ May 22, 2012 07:17 |
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| # ¿ May 19, 2013 20:58 |
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Psalmanazar posted:I was just thinking to myself "Golly, I haven't seen a weird EN thread in a while". Honestly, no idea, but he did it, and I was one of the first to know about it. And yes, Masters is a bdsm thing. I have tried to talk to her, but it seems every time I do, the conversation turns into a guilt trip about how "she has nobody else to talk to about it and I'm mature enough to understand and" etc. The topic is always diverted, and I'm always too guilt-ridden to pick it up again till much later. Much later being days or weeks.
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| # ¿ May 22, 2012 07:27 |
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Amarkov posted:Is there a reason you can't just... get away from your mom? Like, it doesn't sound like a dangerous situation, but the entire world is probably better off if you do not end up in a threesome with your mom and gay former roommate. A few reasons: A) It's been ingrained into my brain that if I told someone of this kind of stuff, she would hunt me down and tear out my intestines. Never actually stated, mostly implied. B) I have nowhere to go at the moment, I'm still saving up money to move out. C) She is very good at guilt tripping me into keeping me here. For the sake of my 9 year old brother, for the sake of her attempts to not be depressed and suicidal, for the sake of being a good firstborn daughter.
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| # ¿ May 22, 2012 07:47 |
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Oh, forgot to mention that people mistake her for my sister all the time, sometimes my YOUNGER sister. I don't see it personally, she's 50lbs heavier than me, several pants sizes larger and a bust size or two smaller. Though it could be the blue and blonde streaks in her hair...
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| # ¿ May 22, 2012 07:55 |
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Nichole posted:This whole situation is completely hosed up. Your mom should not be having you take nude photos of her or suggesting that people want to come play with you while you sleep. But, what really concerns me is that this is not what seems to upset you the most. Your attitude seems to be "Why do they want her, I'm sooo much hotter!" It's not "I'm so much hotter", actually. She is the one who has told me numerous times that she wishes she had my figure. I described that with the intention of "How the HELL could they think she's my SISTER?" I was considering a shelter while things were really serious, as they die down I tend not to hurry for a solution.
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| # ¿ May 22, 2012 15:57 |
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Chicken Doodle posted:Sounds like she's having fun. I'm twenty now, and I don't have a place to go yet. I'll be saving up soon because I'm starting work in a couple of weeks, I really can't wait. Wrecking Ball posted:How.. what.. Puppy dog eyes and whimpers. That's really how it works. I don't know about living with a friend right now, I was never much of a social person. My closest friends are over 1,000 miles away in three directions, two who moved out there and one who lives out there for college. Police Automaton posted:Do you think your 9 year old brother is in acute danger because of your mother's lifestyle? Fortunately, he's in no danger, as he's usually with his father on the days there are visitors. And he's her pride and joy (and I'm not saying that with jealousy, he's the sweetest kid) so she would never let someone hurt him. CabaretVoltaire posted:How old is your mum? I'm guessing that she was pretty young when you were born and she's late 30s early 40s now? You're late teens early 20s? About to turn 21, and she's turning 43 this year. Pope Mobile posted:I dated a girl whose mom married a guy younger than her daughter after dating him for three months. Thanksgiving sure was odd. Annnd right here is where I'm counting my blessings and thanking the stars that this did not happen to me.
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| # ¿ May 22, 2012 17:52 |
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Never you mind posted:Puppy dog eyes are all it took for you to take nude pictures of your mom for her dom? Do you have any idea how sad that is on both your parts? "Okay, mom, just knock off that sad face! I'll do it. Do you want some with the ball gag and some without?" I could have explained that better. I should have emphasized the amount of guilt-tripping that was going on and the nasty comments when I initially refused.
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| # ¿ May 22, 2012 18:16 |
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Great Poster A Plus posted:Is your dad horrible? Does your mom have fully custody? How often does this stuff happen? Not my father, but we get along well enough. From what he's told me (this is not fact just what I've heard) he can't do anything until the papers are really signed, and since he's living with his girlfriend and HER kid he might not be able to take my brother full-time. Also, neither parent want to pull the kid away from each other. I really want NOTHING to do with this situation, I have wanted out since BEFORE it started. I know the main problem is that I'm not doing anything...but really, I don't know WHAT to do. As has been questioned and mentioned in the other posts, I was raised in quite a hosed up way. My sense of right, wrong, and self-preservation are a bit warped to some degree. I can say I know all this is screwy and I want out, but I don't know why I can't make that the driving force that ends the madness.
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| # ¿ May 22, 2012 19:30 |
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Slo-Tek posted:Well, we've already established that she isn't going to move out just because her mom has creeper boyfriends and can't work a shutter timer. So baby steps. I do have a plan of action where it comes to moving out right now. I took a job offer and am also searching for a second one, so I can save up enough to cover a couple months of rent. With the job I'm going to have, it shouldn't take very long. I have told my mom this bothers me, but like I said, she's been guilt tripping me. I hate myself for feeling a sense of loyalty to her, she really does not deserve it. I feel ashamed and sick when she gets angry at me for not helping her. It's...really difficult and confusing.
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| # ¿ May 22, 2012 22:15 |
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Oxford Comma posted:So OP, what is it that you'd like to accomplish in this situation? Ideally I'd like to accomplish myself OUT of the situation, but since that is going to take some time, I'd like to know how to stop the madness while I'm in it. I'd like to know how to respectfully tell her to leave me the hell alone and out of her sex life without getting thrown through a window or kicked out on the streets. Or possibly worse, I wouldn't put anything past her at this point.
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| # ¿ May 22, 2012 23:47 |
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Dewgy posted:Does guilt tripping usually involve threats of defenestration in your house? Because that's not so much a guilt trip as a threat of violence. She has not used that threat in many years, it's still ingrained in my memories, and despite the fact that I could knock her down if I tried, it still terrifies me. So to answer your question, not in this case, but once upon a time.
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| # ¿ May 22, 2012 23:52 |
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Glitterbomber posted:Hey for real, call CPS or whatever you have and make sure your little sibling never is allowed to live with his emotionally abusing creep of a mother. He's the golden boy now but as soon as he strays from her plans I have zero doubt she'll do the same emotional abuse to him. Given the opportunity, I'd take him with me. It's not the smartest thing, considering I can't seem to get MYSELF together, but for him I could. I love that kid. His dad knows, I wish HE would do something if he could. Not passing the buck, but really, his own father.
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| # ¿ May 22, 2012 23:59 |
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Lyz posted:Call CPS anyways. What happens down the road when your mother is getting on in her years and has to promise men more and more outrageous things to get them to sleep with her? Do you want her doing the same things to your brother as she's doing to you right now? Just in case this is isn't clear; the only things I have to deal with are the talks, the comments, the requests for pictures, and the mentionings of the creeps and the would-be suitors. I have not actually had threesomes (or surely I would be in a mental ward by now), nor have the men come up to see me or marry me. I don't know if anyone realized that, from your comment I wasn't sure. And thank the heavens for that anyway.
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| # ¿ May 23, 2012 01:25 |
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Wicker Man posted:Surely someone else had noticed that this person had registered only three days ago. This just seems way too over the top. I truly wish this was some kind of sick joke. Yes, I joined three days ago, but I've been lurking for some time. Good friend bought the account, and before you say anything, no, I can't move in with this friend. His parents would really disapprove, we've actually had the discussion a couple of times. But yes. Not a joke. I wish it was, because then it wouldn't be happening to me.
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| # ¿ May 23, 2012 09:12 |
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RadioPassive posted:Talk to some friends, get a couch to crash on for a few days, and look for somewhere else to go. Does the new job pay well enough to get your own place? I'll be working as a cook in training, so I think it'll pay well enough in a short enough itme. spite house posted:OP, you seem exasperated and grossed-out by this situation, but you don't appear to be grasping the magnitude of how truly messed up it is. Your posts read a little bit like a daughter complaining about how her mother hoards thousands of religious figurines or gets tipsy and sings the "The Lonely Goatherd" when her friends are over -- something embarrassing and lame but not, like, dangerous. I can see what you mean, if I read this about someone I'd be telling someone to get the Blue Holy Hell out of there. And it is what it looks like; hosed up. I wish it wasn't happening. I think that's the problem, is that I'm trying to wish it all away and it's not working. I am loving scared. Tiny Deer posted:You say he knows. What exactly have you told him? Have you mentioned the incestuous pornographic photos and the men hinting at "playing" with you? Have you been explicit about the number of essentially strange men in the house? The fact your mother physically threatened you as a (I assume) child? You might be able to knock her down. Can your little brother? Should he ever have to worry about that? Christ I didn't even think about my poor brother having to deal with that, and that's one of the first things I should have! I tried to tell his father about some of the stuff, admittedly he doesn't want to hear, and that's understandable. I don't know how much he truly knows. I know he's heard about the way guys just come over, he's heard about how they talk about me and told me if I needed him to come over I should just call. I didn't mention this before because I only mentioned taking care of my brother, but I have a 14 year old sister (she takes care of herself, and when I mentioned my bro, it was in passing). So she's in more danger than my brother is. And I should have realized this. I'm going to talk to their father today, see what I can do. Maybe I can get some authorities to come in under some anonymous tip and talk to her. But I'm doing that today. I don't think I could live with myself if either of them had to do what I've been doing. It makes my stomach turn! I'm going to see what I can do after I get my job. If I have to move in with my friend for a week, I'll ask him if it's possible. I do need to stay in town because of the job but at least I'll be away from her finally. bunnybean posted:Um, OP, do you realize you have been sexually abused? Guilting you into taking pornographic photos of her = sexual abuse. Not to mention that, by allowing these men to make sexual comments at you and ask you to participate, she's really facilitating a dangerous environment. It's hard to swallow the sexual abuse bit. I've watched many movies with my family, and there's one in particular that stands out due to the fact that she said “See that? You should be GLAD that poo poo doesn't happen to you.” Ever heard of “Antwone Fisher”? Mental, physical, and sexual abuse, and she used to say we were lucky we never got abused. It's tough to mke sense of, cos she's wrong and right at the same time. I am pretty grateful it wasn't as bad. Yeah, I'm talking to authorities today. I don't want anything else to happen.
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| # ¿ May 23, 2012 13:04 |
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Andrias Scheuchzeri posted:How did your mom bring up the whole "some of the guys want to come upstairs and play with you" subject? I guess it's sort of morbid curiosity, but I'm trying to picture how this information could have been conveyed to you in a way that wasn't essentially testing the waters to see if you were okay with it. I used to stay up until 2 or 3 am so she'd have someone to talk to when she got home. She had a blog of sorts on a dating site, and she'd read the posts to me and have me critique (which was okay at the time, I have the writing skills that she lacks). So whenever guys would get on chat and she'd go through the whole talking to them (non sexually at first), she'd end up telling guys that she had kids, one of them being me. Guy:    "is ur daughter sexxxy? pics plz?" To my knowledge she's sent pics from my Facebook a few times. After that the conversation gets dirtier and it's mentioned, along with questions of me joining in or hanging out on cam naked with my mother.
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| # ¿ May 23, 2012 15:37 |
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Dewgy posted:I'm pretty much only writing this so this post isn't an emptyquote. Holy poo poo. I hope not. My siblings are underage, and I seriously hope she doesn't do that.
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| # ¿ May 23, 2012 16:47 |
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Dewgy posted:The fact that you can't answer that definitively is moderately terrifying. Well I certainly don't want to be around her 24/7 when she's on the computer.
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| # ¿ May 23, 2012 16:58 |
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MinibarMatchman posted:so you registered just to post this "story?" No actually, I'm very interested in the Goons With Spoons sub forum. It's what gave me the desire to register in the first place. E/N was a later discovery.
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| # ¿ May 23, 2012 19:01 |
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| # ¿ May 19, 2013 20:58 |
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Cartoon Man posted:I have never been more ill about reading through a thread on this forum than I am right now. You need to click the "?" thats below your name in this thread to list only your own posts. Print them all out and take them to CPS for them to read what you have told us. Posting, I didn't get to talk to CPS yet, but I've told someone. The Section 8 people know about the creepy men and the potential hazard to my siblings and me (and they're also the people who provide my mother and the family with housing). I got an application for housing and my next stop is Village Hall for another. I'm also going to try and find someone in authority I can tell in confidence to have them "check in" on my mother. I feel a lot better. 
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| # ¿ May 23, 2012 20:35 |
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