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So is therapy a substitute for being alive and going through things personally now? Because I fail to see why a 17 year old having boy problems should see a therapist for any reason that can't be fulfilled by talking to a parent, a friend, or anyone she trusts and respects for that matter.
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| # ? May 30, 2012 01:49 |
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| # ? May 23, 2013 01:08 |
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Bob A Feet posted:she's asking about kissing in highschool. Read what follows directly after that
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| # ? May 30, 2012 01:56 |
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Dewgy posted:So is therapy a substitute for being alive and going through things personally now? Sure if they're not living through them. There are a whole lot of things you can do if you find yourself in high school and feeling weird about kissing a boy you like. Tons. You should try them. Then if none of that works that means you either can bank on growing out of it through "experience" (and be right and wind up fine like Tina Fey say) or you can decide it's not worth the wait and take it as a serious issue. Your life.
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| # ? May 30, 2012 02:00 |
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Dewgy posted:So is therapy a substitute for being alive and going through things personally now? Because I fail to see why a 17 year old having boy problems should see a therapist for any reason that can't be fulfilled by talking to a parent, a friend, or anyone she trusts and respects for that matter. I'm going to have to agree with this. If this girl needs therapy because of this particular issue, so does every teenage girl who ever lived. You're nervous because you were hurt in your last relationship after your relationship became purely physical, and if he was your first, then that can hurt a hell of a lot. Luckily (more like unfortunately) many women experience that sort of thing and move on to healthier relationships. Kissing doesn't mean it'll lead to sex, if that's what you're worried about, and only you can decide if and when you want to take that step with this new guy. All you can do is learn from you mistakes and do it differently next time. Be confident and comfortable with yourself, not every guy is a dirt bag, and if you want to kiss and cuddle don't be afraid to experience that again. You're young and you've got lots of time to be mentally/emotionally prepared for having a fulfilling sex life, but you've got to be able to handle it before you do it, or you end up scarred and afraid like you are now. TLDR: don't worry so much; you're in charge of you.
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| # ? May 30, 2012 02:04 |
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aunaturale posted:Sure if they're not living through them. There are a whole lot of things you can do if you find yourself in high school and feeling weird about kissing a boy you like. Tons. You should try them. Then if none of that works that means you either can bank on growing out of it through "experience" (and be right and wind up fine like Tina Fey say) or you can decide it's not worth the wait and take it as a serious issue. Your life. This sounds like a recipe for developing a complex during the late adolescent phase from trying to figure out life's mysteries at 17, though. It is a serious life issue. It's not something you need professional help for. A therapist is going to be able to help her with this just as much as the internet, but she's more likely to see the therapist as a learned authority figure on the subject and take it at face value rather than in a broader context. Even if she figures out the answer to the nebulous question she's seeing a therapist for, the answer's going to change drastically over the next few years as a result of simply growing up and dealing with post high school life. Cramming a rigorous idea of "what you want" into your head at 17 is only going to cause problems for you later in life.
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| # ? May 30, 2012 02:12 |
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Dewgy posted:This sounds like a recipe for developing a complex during the late adolescent phase from trying to figure out life's mysteries at 17, though. It is a serious life issue. ... Cramming a rigorous idea of "what you want" into your head at 17 is only going to cause problems for you later in life. See the thing is the Internet is going to provide just as much psychobabble as any licensed therapist but you know based on hunches and half-thought out ideas as opposed to actual knowledge. Honestly I'd figure the best person to ask about this would be one's friends but presumably the OP has already tried that. If not or she was avoiding it due to embarrassment I sure hope we've convinced her that it's nothing compared to the awkwardness of goon answers!
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| # ? May 30, 2012 02:19 |
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aunaturale posted:Honestly I'd figure the best person to ask about this would be one's friends but presumably the OP has already tried that. Honestly that is not something I presumed in the slightest, since the OP didn't say anything about it either way. 
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| # ? May 30, 2012 02:28 |
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Dewgy posted:This sounds like a recipe for developing a complex during the late adolescent phase from trying to figure out life's mysteries at 17, though. It is a serious life issue. It's not something you need professional help for. A therapist is going to be able to help her with this just as much as the internet, but she's more likely to see the therapist as a learned authority figure on the subject and take it at face value rather than in a broader context. Even if she figures out the answer to the nebulous question she's seeing a therapist for, the answer's going to change drastically over the next few years as a result of simply growing up and dealing with post high school life. Cramming a rigorous idea of "what you want" into your head at 17 is only going to cause problems for you later in life. I'm recommending that she see a therapist not to "figure out life's problems" or to explore some nebulous question. In fact, I agree that that is a very bad premise on which to base therapy, and any half-decent psych that was aware of such a premise wouldn't agree to initiate treatment. But looking over her post history I've noticed that she seems to have much larger issues with trust and anxiety. If I suggest that she not undertake a serious relationship (I mean long-term relationship with someone that she believes she'll spend her life with) then it needs to have a clause that she work through her trust, anxiety and self-image problems so that she doesn't develop a behavioral pattern where she's incapable of commitment. Obviously, that wouldn't help improve the quality of future relationships. Look at some of her posts -- these are things that the OP has said that she hides from others, in part because she has a deep-seated belief that no one sincerely likes or accepts her. BUT! Arguing about it in the context of this thread's issue (kissing) doesn't really seem to matter, however, because I doubt that the OP is being truthful: If you look at a post she made in "What is your ambition, and why", she specifically states that she's in an Environmental Studies program at a University. Which isn't consistent with the high school senior + about to enter college identity that she claimed earlier in this thread. http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...4&userid=180703 She also refers to her freshman year of college in a "from those who cope to those who don't" post. http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...4&userid=180703 Even if the original post in this thread is made up, I'd still suggest that she see someone, on the basis of her previous posts. Er, assuming that those posts are truthful. tldr; OP is trolling but should still get therapy, unless she was also trolling the mental health megathread. If so, then 
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| # ? May 30, 2012 03:13 |
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If you don't want to have sex then you don't have to, but realize that 17 year olds want to gently caress and if you are not up to it then you should let potential boyfriends know. I'm sure you will find a 17 year old boy who values good conversation and Twilight soon so just keep trying until you find him.
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| # ? May 30, 2012 03:17 |
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rio posted:If you don't want to have sex then you don't have to, but realize that 17 year olds want to gently caress and if you are not up to it then you should let potential boyfriends know. I'm sure you will find a 17 year old boy who values good conversation and Twilight soon so just keep trying until you find him. All that will do is result in another e/n thread in the future where a nice guy goon complains about how he listens to his girlfriend and even went to see Twilight with her but she just won't put out dammit.
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| # ? May 30, 2012 04:23 |
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Pope Corky the IX posted:Katie told me you can't get preggers from French kissing. I don't believe her. If you shoot some 7-up up there then do 20 jumping jacks you won't get pregnant. Pass it on.
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| # ? May 30, 2012 12:53 |
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Rhymenoserous posted:If you shoot some 7-up up there then do 20 jumping jacks you won't get pregnant. Pass it on. I heard it was an aspirin in a coke. That way you don't have to do the jumping jacks, because you know..aspirin.
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| # ? May 30, 2012 14:28 |
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Kiss Kiss Bang Bang posted:I heard it was an aspirin in a coke. That way you don't have to do the jumping jacks, because you know..aspirin. I dunno man my friend's cousin's friend did this and and she still got pregnant from a public toilet seat :/
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| # ? May 30, 2012 14:41 |
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Mak0rz posted:I dunno man my friend's cousin's friend did this and and she still got pregnant from a public toilet seat :/ Was the toilet seat near a glory hole?
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| # ? May 30, 2012 15:21 |
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It's a lot cheaper to drink a soda with sour apple flavored Warheads in it. I think you need about two in your soda before you so much as hold hands. ...aspirin...pu-leeze.
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| # ? May 30, 2012 15:23 |
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Wicker Man posted:It's a lot cheaper to drink a soda with sour apple flavored Warheads in it. I think you need about two in your soda before you so much as hold hands. You don't drink the soda GAWD are you green. See folks, this is what happens when they move sex ed out off the playground.
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| # ? May 30, 2012 23:58 |
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Kiss Kiss Bang Bang posted:You don't drink the soda GAWD are you green. See folks, this is what happens when they move sex ed out off the playground. ...Oh  . Maybe that's why Jody stopped coming to class after kissing Marcus.
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| # ? May 31, 2012 00:20 |
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Senior Woodchuck posted:Worst case scenario, there are actually videos on the Internet that teach you how to kiss. Go find one of those. Take notes. Holy poo poo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkQdI0AxxOI
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| # ? May 31, 2012 03:04 |
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Kissing? meh. Holding hands? Can you say lame? Rude teens these days are having secret rainbow parties! Their parents have no idea what wicked teens are getting up to on chat sites, swapping new sex terms and moves.
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| # ? Jun 4, 2012 10:55 |
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Stop posting your insane birth control methods guys. OP, let me give you a new mantra. It'll take you through life with no worries at all. "In the bum. No babies!"
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| # ? Jun 5, 2012 09:30 |
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Again, I'm not going to read the whole thread, because this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what, OP: If you're scared to kiss, don't. Turn your face when the moment comes and do what you want. Alternatively, you can be like the rest of us, where kissing is awesome. Just do what comes natural, you goon.
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| # ? Jun 5, 2012 10:56 |
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quote:Maybe I'm worried it'll turn out like my previous relationship? It's this. Talk to a therapist, otherwise you probably won't get it untangled. Also, to everyone saying therapy is some substitute for real experience -- that's loving retarded. You don't need to be "broken" to see a therapist. It's a professional listener interested in your well-being. You can be quite healthy and happy and benefit from a therapist. They just help you look at stuff in your life that's a bit confusing for you from where you are, and they have lots and lots and lots of experience with issues like yours -- unlike your parents, friends, etc, who really just have the "life experience" (not much) that you're all talking about. Pretty much everyone would be more healthy talking to a therapist semi-regularly. It's not shameful, it's not a substitute for "growing up." loving intimacy issues like this are insidious because you can talk to someone, intellectualize them away, and they're still there, deeply, tearing you to pieces for long times as they become part of your sexual and relationship personality. Or you can just deal with them with a little help from someone who has dealt with this kind of thing, say, thousands of times. quote:A therapist is going to be able to help her with this just as much as the internet This is incredibly dumb. Incredibly, ignorantly dumb.
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| # ? Jun 5, 2012 15:12 |
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nomadologique posted:This is incredibly dumb. Incredibly, ignorantly dumb.
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| # ? Jun 5, 2012 20:04 |
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Guys I'm in high school and I'm worried about prom and how to ask someone to go with me... SEE A THERAPIST \ 
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| # ? Jun 6, 2012 10:23 |
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ItheWelp87 posted:Guys I'm in high school and I'm worried about prom and how to ask someone to go with me... Look buddy its either that or sever.
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| # ? Jun 6, 2012 17:51 |
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Masonity posted:Stop posting your insane birth control methods guys. The correct version is "One up the bum, no harm done."
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| # ? Jun 6, 2012 19:07 |
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quote:Would you prefer I compare it to nuking an anthill? The position that the internet is as effective as a therapist in the solution of intimacy problems is absurd.
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| # ? Jun 6, 2012 20:13 |
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nomadologique posted:You don't need to be "broken" to see a therapist. It's a professional listener interested in your well-being. You can be quite healthy and happy and benefit from a therapist. Why the gently caress would a perfectly happy, healthy person drop a bunch of dollars on a therapist? I mean, I have nothing against therapy, but recommending it like other people recommend a bowl of broccoli and a good nights sleep is ridiculous. It just becomes the stereotype of a bunch of whiny rich people indulging in a self-indulgent wankfest about their first-world problems. And I say this as someone who has had therapy.
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| # ? Jun 7, 2012 06:13 |
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GreenCard78 posted:If you are 12, go gently caress and think about coming. Go back to Reddit, perv. OP, kissing never led to anything except getting teen pregnant. I would avoid it.
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| # ? Jun 7, 2012 06:32 |
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This oughta tell you all you need to know: http://www.retronaut.co/2012/06/how-to-kiss-1942/
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| # ? Jun 12, 2012 11:43 |
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Sat next to a girl in class and it was nice thinking of asking her on a da... SEE A THERAPIST \
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| # ? Jun 13, 2012 12:12 |
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TheKracken posted:Why the gently caress would a perfectly happy, healthy person drop a bunch of dollars on a therapist? I mean, I have nothing against therapy, but recommending it like other people recommend a bowl of broccoli and a good nights sleep is ridiculous. It just becomes the stereotype of a bunch of whiny rich people indulging in a self-indulgent wankfest about their first-world problems. And I say this as someone who has had therapy. I think you've got a deeply buried fear of therapists which is clouding your judgement. Have you considered getting therapy for this? I know a good CBT who helps people on this exact issue, I can give you her contact info if you want. Of course, just getting yourself into the office will probably be hard, but the beauty of it is that CBT works by confronting the very things you are afraid of, so just going in to see her means you're well on your way to recovery. I still haven't seen any of the Twilight movies or True Blood. Am I missing anything?
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| # ? Jun 13, 2012 13:29 |
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If you're worried about the relationship turning into your last one, than make sure to talk and do non-physical stuff. If after a while he only wants to hook up, then you can dump him. You should kiss your boyfriend though because it will be fun and he will feel sad if you don't. Alternatively you can find a therapist on meetup.com and smoke weed with him inside a well while severing with your boyfriend.
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| # ? Jun 13, 2012 14:01 |
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| # ? May 23, 2013 01:08 |
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All the girls I've been with wouldn't allow kissing on the mouth. Kissing is no big deal and not vital in the sex-having.
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| # ? Jun 13, 2012 16:24 |
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