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Death Himself
Sep 28, 2004

I'M GETTING FUCKED UP THE ASS OVER HERE


(thanks Turtle before the Storm, I stole your OP)
Don't post your in-game name or identifying information in this thread! The pubbies take this game way too seriously!



What

Stronghold Kingdoms is a "free to play" game from Firefly studios. You start off with a single village on an ENORMOUS map full of other player's villages. At first, you can only do basic things like grow apples, chop wood, and gather stone but with enough time and real world dollars, you can eventually own your own empire of castles, cities, and armies. Basically, I would describe it as a cross between a browser game where you wait 10 years for a lumberjack to build and EVE online where everyone's competing and scheming and the game is OKAY with that. There are no training wheels after your newbie immunity expires.



Why

Let me just get this out of the way, I think that this is a terrible game. It's got some poo poo that is just plain bad. If you don't pay for cards, which basically are one-shot spendable things that give you HUGE, NECESSARY TO PLAY bonuses, you are completely gimped. Your troops will move across the map at the speed of a glacier, it'll take you weeks to do just about anything. This game is not free to play, it's free to try. That said, you don't have to spend much more than let's say 8 bucks a month to be moderately effective.



But the game is also good in some weird way. It's addictive. Every village on the map is owned by a player. Each village is part of a province, and each province is pushed into cooperating with each other through the use of a provincial capital. The capital of each province is a city that you and all the other villages in your province can upgrade in order to provide team bonuses. Cooperating with your neighbors, forming alliances, politics, and all that add a layer to the game that makes it way more interesting. Every one of your pikeman took real-time hours to equip and pay for, which makes the military side that much more nail-biting. It also makes it that much more satisfying when you decimate the village of "DarkkMil0rdX" because you know how hard it is to get anything. Anything you take is permanent. This game doesn't care.



how

The game is available for download on Steam but can also be downloaded from the company's web site:

http://www.strongholdkingdoms.com/

World 4 is still fairly young at only about 100 days in at the time of this post so not everyone is max rank yet and new people can still get themselves established. If you are a totally new player then place your first village in Cornwall or Devon, which is on the very south eastern edge of England. You can't do anything faction related until you rank up a bit so you should concentrate on learning the game and building yourself up.

The previous incarnation of goons managed to piss off an entire country so bad they hounded us across the map everywhere we went, used spies in a bunch of factions to try to keep us out in the cold and generally got really butthurt about everything. So basically business as usual.

We're still truckin' though! If you want to join us for some fuckery you will need to have a SA account older than March 9, 2012 and get authed on our forums.

There are a lot of people who hate us and we are not too fond of them either. A war just started which might envelop the whole server so if you get started now there should be a lot of stuff going down you can participate in once you are settled in to the game. Join now! Make pubbies froth at the mouth and ragequit!

If you are going into this game as a total newbie you can do someone a huge favor by posting your e-mail in here and asking for a buddy invite to the game. If you decide to stick around they get a lot of valuable free stuff so do this! If you have a preferred poster you would like to get the free stuff because of their hilarious game drama posted here then PM them directly, they won't mind.

Don't post your in-game name or identifying information in this thread! The pubbies take this game way too seriously!

Death Himself fucked around with this message at Aug 10, 2012 around 02:24

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Death Himself
Sep 28, 2004

I'M GETTING FUCKED UP THE ASS OVER HERE


Guides are all on our offsite forums now.

Death Himself fucked around with this message at Jun 27, 2012 around 08:44

andromache
Aug 27, 2009

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome again. True story.


Those of us who are left on World 4 are still in the Devon/Cornwall area. We've learned from the last abortive attempt (where the leadership hosed off to play D3) that H9 has a great spy metagame which they take way too seriously.

If you try this game out, don't post your in-game name to this thread. PM the op, he'll get you into the IRC channel and hook you up with our in-game factions. We are much less overt this time around. We've got goons in several houses, including H9, and are playing a much less direct hand at the moment. We do have some good intel gathering at the moment and have some plans for hilarity.

That being said, several houses are taking H9 on directly, so its not quite the boring monolith it was last round. There is room for shenanigans if you are game.

Death Himself
Sep 28, 2004

I'M GETTING FUCKED UP THE ASS OVER HERE


Lot of fun stuff going to happen soon. Anyone who wants to come back to get in on it speak up or send us some PMs so we can get you into our communication.

NerdyMcNerdNerd
Aug 3, 2004



Hurray. I was worried everyone quit. I never got to link up with any of the goons, and I don't have PMs, so I guess I'll just chill and build up my gold and technology while the new forum is set up.

Death Himself
Sep 28, 2004

I'M GETTING FUCKED UP THE ASS OVER HERE


GUESS WHAT

Forums are back in our hands! Yes, the original forums!

One catch, we de-authed all the accounts. So if you want back in you need to apply like you did before in the auth forum following the instructions. Another new thing is there is now a SA regdate requirement.

http://forum.gallantorderofnarcissi...s.com/index.php

Death Himself
Sep 28, 2004

I'M GETTING FUCKED UP THE ASS OVER HERE


One of our dudes still sticking it to white got a great mail which opened with:



Then he attacked 12 times including an attack with his county army because he's a sheriff and still failed.

Zip
Mar 19, 2006



No quarter shall be given? Your goon ideology has been exposed...?
What kind of fat retard talks like this?

Chalax
Jun 16, 2009


LARPers, thats who. Probably a furry LARPer too.

BERGfu
Aug 24, 2010


Zip posted:

No quarter shall be given? Your goon ideology has been exposed...?
What kind of fat retard talks like this?

A Shitlord pubbie. Swear to God every game is full of people who lack basic reading and writing comprehension skills and they somehow manage to get into a leadership position over other retards.

Death Himself
Sep 28, 2004

I'M GETTING FUCKED UP THE ASS OVER HERE


That guy is apparently a High school teacher by the way.

RushMix
May 16, 2007


I have zero scouts and only 60 gold. I have four scout slots.

Should I start over? I had no idea that you had to purchase scouts (as the mini-guide said nothing about this).

*Edit*

It also seems that I really don't have any troops at all. I have lots of things researched, as well as buildings made, so I guess I'll just sit on my hands for a while.

RushMix fucked around with this message at Jun 16, 2012 around 18:57

Xane
Jan 29, 2003


I played last night for about 3 hours. In that time I razed h9, caped h9, and leveled a county castle from mostly finished to a parking lot.

Zip
Mar 19, 2006



RushMix posted:

I have zero scouts and only 60 gold. I have four scout slots.

Should I start over? I had no idea that you had to purchase scouts (as the mini-guide said nothing about this).

*Edit*

It also seems that I really don't have any troops at all. I have lots of things researched, as well as buildings made, so I guess I'll just sit on my hands for a while.

do you have any merchants?
place a market, use the merchant you get to sell stuff.. buy scouts.

BERGfu
Aug 24, 2010


Death Himself posted:

That guy is apparently a High school teacher by the way.

Oh good lord.

Side note is this anything like the stronghold games in building and economics or is it only shared in name? Mostly I ask because the word Facebook game was used in the description in the OP. Will I be building and have to come back tomorrow type stuff?

Zip
Mar 19, 2006



Death Himself
Sep 28, 2004

I'M GETTING FUCKED UP THE ASS OVER HERE


BERGfu posted:

Oh good lord.

Side note is this anything like the stronghold games in building and economics or is it only shared in name? Mostly I ask because the word Facebook game was used in the description in the OP. Will I be building and have to come back tomorrow type stuff?

Stuff takes longer the higher rank or further along you are.

Buildings in your village take under a minute then ramp up based on how many are placed so later on you'll start seeing like 10 hour build times. Research is the same way, few minutes at first and then when you are much higher rank it can get over 10, 15, 20 hours per research.

You can do things to speed it up like train build times and research times which knock a lot of time off or play cards which speed up castle construction a lot though cards cost money since you only get a tiny trickle unless you spend at least 2x $5. If you spend at least that much you will eventually get 2 free cards a day which helps.

Some people play it where they just leave it open all day so they can glance over and do a couple things and some people just log on once a day for an hour to set a bunch of stuff then log off unless there are attacks to coordinate.

BERGfu
Aug 24, 2010


The last two posts have torn my feelings about this so much. It sounds like a terrible Facebook game but people get so upset. Oh well I guess when I am back at my PC I will give this a shot.

Merrill Grinch
May 21, 2001

infuriated by investments

Been playing off and on today and starting to get the hang of it although I'm hurting really bad for money and stones now.

My lone scout managed to get enough prestige to get me two full levels so I feel like I'm ahead the curve on that, but he sure doesn't bring me back very much from these stockpiles he's raiding. I'm torn between building a market to get more money to get more scouts or building a tavern (or was it an Inn?).

Edit: Also some goon i think is getting zerged viciously right next to me. Holy crap.

Merrill Grinch fucked around with this message at Jun 17, 2012 around 01:31

Zip
Mar 19, 2006



Message me your in game name Merrill and I'll send you some stone. Don't post it here though.

Archonex
May 2, 2012

MY OPINION IS DOGSHIT IGNORE MY BRAIN DAMAGED RAMBLINGS


BERGfu posted:

A Shitlord pubbie. Swear to God every game is full of people who lack basic reading and writing comprehension skills and they somehow manage to get into a leadership position over other retards.

People who post messages "NO QUARTER SHALL BE GIVEN TO YOU, KNAVISH SWINE!" style posts like that make me want to pick this up, toss the game to a few friends, and try to start a roleplayed religion consisting primarily of people who act like Khornate Berserkers.

Maybe even subvert the governments to get more cannon fodder for our army, since it sounds like you can do that given some of the posts in the last thread. Presumably we'd do this while preaching about the onset of a new age of blood and sundered bone and whatnot.

You know, teach these people how to put the war into warfare. Even if you lose, so long as the fields run red with the blood of your enemies (or your own troops) it's still a win.

I get the feeling this would drive plenty of the people in this game right up the wall. Some of the posts i've seen seem to imply that too many people take this game way too seriously. Or just badly roleplay at being "lords of the land".


On the other hand, this game looks terrible at first glance. Is the OP still accurate in that if you don't pay money per month you'll be eternally behind everyone else?

Archonex fucked around with this message at Jun 17, 2012 around 04:28

Zip
Mar 19, 2006



well.. I dunno, you really do need a premium until a point.

What you should do is if you like the game, invest in the deluxe pack. You get four 7 day tokens and a buttload of cards that will help you.

You'll have to actually search for it. I think it's offered by getgames or some site that isn't SHK but it's worth it if you like the game.

Archonex
May 2, 2012

MY OPINION IS DOGSHIT IGNORE MY BRAIN DAMAGED RAMBLINGS


Well, i'm giving this a shot. Even though I can't join up because of the regdate that was recently put in place. Guess i'll just go screw off to my own corner of the world.

First impressions are good. They have an avatar option that lets you stand atop a pile of skulls! That's perfect!

Hashal
Feb 27, 2007


Death Himself posted:

GUESS WHAT

Forums are back in our hands! Yes, the original forums!

One catch, we de-authed all the accounts. So if you want back in you need to apply like you did before in the auth forum following the instructions. Another new thing is there is now a SA regdate requirement.

http://forum.gallantorderofnarcissi...s.com/index.php

Is this working? I sign in and it says there this board has no forums.

Death Himself
Sep 28, 2004

I'M GETTING FUCKED UP THE ASS OVER HERE


Hashal posted:

Is this working? I sign in and it says there this board has no forums.

Should be, I just authed someone earlier. Are you trying to use an existing account?

Death Himself
Sep 28, 2004

I'M GETTING FUCKED UP THE ASS OVER HERE


Ok so when DFM de-authed everyone so we could start from scratch he also removed everyone from the default registered users group. Didn't notice because we were authing people we already knew or were brand new up til now. I am re-adding everyone right now so if it's not working for you give it a sec.

e: Done, everyone should be able to see and post in the auth forum again.

Death Himself fucked around with this message at Jun 17, 2012 around 21:28

Inspector Detector
Dec 13, 2008

"If I give you money, would you go out and get me some fruit titles?"


I'm pretty much out of this but a good strategy is to just incessantly cap H9's weak towns and make them raze them, then choose a new spot and do it again.

Hashal
Feb 27, 2007


Yeah, it's working for me now. Just posted my re-auth.

Death Himself
Sep 28, 2004

I'M GETTING FUCKED UP THE ASS OVER HERE


Now is the time to get back into this game and check out what sort of honor stack you're sitting on from being inactive. Ireland is landing in both the north and south to grab parishes and eventually counties. A bunch of neutras rolled out the red carpet and are embracing them because they finally grew some balls. We hooked up with a cool house who came down and already stomped on a half dozen White dudes so we have like actual allies now and not empty promises.

KillerApp_v2
Jun 18, 2012


What if I had an old account, KillerApp(http://forums.somethingawful.com/me...o&userid=146550) and I started a new one because I lost access to my old email account? I was in the old Fallen earth guild and a few others around SA. I don't want to play with stupid pubbies and want to take make to make them cry ala what we did in Lords of Ultima. I'm willing to go through any conformation process you guys have.

Xane
Jan 29, 2003


Death Himself posted:

Now is the time to get back into this game and check out what sort of honor stack you're sitting on from being inactive.

Yeah really it was sweet to come back to 4m honor and 21k fp.

Ashendar
Oct 19, 2011



Well i logged back, and some of my villages still alive. Got few millions honour which gave me quite a few sub-ranks and plenty of RP.

Should i bother fixin my walls or its better to relocate somewhere from south england?

BERGfu
Aug 24, 2010


How difficult are wolves dens? Do I need a small army to beat them or what exactly?

Ashendar
Oct 19, 2011



BERGfu posted:

How difficult are wolves dens? Do I need a small army to beat them or what exactly?

It depends on parish residents. Higher average level of players in parish = tougher wolve dends and npc castles. It can be anything from 6 wolfs to 150+.
Its better to scout first if you dont know how tough dends in your area.

BERGfu
Aug 24, 2010


Ashendar posted:

It depends on parish residents. Higher average level of players in parish = tougher wolve dends and npc castles. It can be anything from 6 wolfs to 150+.
Its better to scout first if you dont know how tough dends in your area.

Well I spawned in the heart of the goonion so I figure from what you said I will walk into a den of 1OO plus wolves. Welp...

Ashendar
Oct 19, 2011



BERGfu posted:

Well I spawned in the heart of the goonion so I figure from what you said I will walk into a den of 1OO plus wolves. Welp...

as i said, its better to scout first. But its best to have some archers in your army to kill wolfes. If you only have peasants, you will suffer great losses no matter how many of them there.

BTW where did yellow go? Did they get their asses kicked by H10?

Merrill Grinch
May 21, 2001

infuriated by investments

I've nearly maxed horsemanship but other people's scouts are still flying past mine at crazy speeds? Does Forced Marching also affect scouts or is it something else like a card?

Death Himself
Sep 28, 2004

I'M GETTING FUCKED UP THE ASS OVER HERE


There are scout speed cards. Someone will play one and then they get a few hours of superscouts.

Xane
Jan 29, 2003


Seeing more goons waking up from our deep slumber every day. It's awesome.

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Ashendar
Oct 19, 2011



I didnt have enough stone to repair my castle. So i pillaged some neutral guy in white lands. It wasnt even much, like 12k resources. Now he sent 3 armies at me And they are just in time, since im capping some village in devon and need any free honour i can get, since im in negative right now.

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