Everyday Scams - The Something Awful Forums

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zakatak888: Jun 20, 2012; by T. Smith

What sort of everyday scams or rorts do any of you pull. I'm NOT talking about ripping off hundreds of people or anything that is highly illegal and that would most likely result in jail time.

I'm talking about the little things that people do, that might save a few bucks and gives them the satisfaction of getting one over someone, or some corporation.

I'll start the ball rolling, of one I heard recently.

My friend has one of those tags for the road tolls, but he never attaches it to the windscreen. He always drives through the toll sensor and waits for the failure notice in the mail, which normally arrives in 2-3 weeks. If he pays it immediately through his toll account there is no penalty, just the normal road toll cost.

Now here is where the "scam" is - he estimates in about 25-30% of the time he doesn't receive a notice and that's because the camera couldn't pick up his car number plate details for some reason. He thinks he saves $20-25 a month.

What sort of personal clever scams do any of you pull or have heard of ??

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jun 21, 2012 10:44

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# ? May 21, 2013 23:46

Decrepus: May 21, 2008; All that you have found is your inevitable punishment.

I poo poo on the clock.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 10:47

Montalvo: Sep 3, 2007

Sometimes when we get snacks at work I'll take two donuts instead of one.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 10:49

black metal hugbox: Jun 19, 2012; FACE SKULL?

I've been known to ring up my organic bananas as normal bananas.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 11:05

guandi: Feb 7, 2004; I won't go into detail about
the dreams, but at
least they are not as scary.

I take more sauce packets and other condiments than I need from cafes and resturants and use them at home later.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 11:08

BjornOfBorg: Aug 28, 2011; I AM NOT BUTT WIZARD, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? HONESTLY!

I bring my own lunch rather than buying food at our company's cafeteria.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 11:29

Kaewan: May 29, 2008

At restaurants round down my tip to the nearest dollar.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 11:33

Montalvo: Sep 3, 2007

The other day I got a new ball-point pen from the office stationery drawer even though my old pen hadn't quite run out of ink yet.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 11:34

Seaside Loafer: Feb 7, 2012

Whats a rort?

# ? Jun 21, 2012 11:35

boner meter: Apr 27, 2006; I AM A SMUG ASSHOLE WHO BELIEVES IN RACIST PROPAGANDA. I DESERVE ONLY RIDICULE.

I occasionally exaggerate my personal experiences and attributes socially

# ? Jun 21, 2012 11:38

duckfarts: Jul 2, 2010; Ask me about Alpha Protocol

Whenever there's a bowl of mints at the cash register in a restaurant, I take extras home and sell them on eBay.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 11:40

Croccers: Jun 15, 2012

I'll put extra meat on my Subway at work, not add it onto the sale and use my whopping 25% discount. 'Whops, i'm not officaly subway trained, i dunno how to ues their computar'

# ? Jun 21, 2012 11:43

Stellar Curiosity: Jan 15, 2009

Most credit/debit card agreements state that the card is personal and is not to be used by anyone other than the card holder.

Retailers aren't allowed to accept cards which belong to someone other than the person using it (the ID photo on the back [Norway] is a major give away). Imagine the uproar if that rule (law?) was being practised. A lot of cards tend to be passed around inside a family and between friends.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 11:44

zakatak888: Jun 20, 2012; by T. Smith

Seaside Loafer posted:

Whats a rort?

Australian term, similar to a scam except its not illegal.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 11:55

dutch wife abc: Apr 25, 2012

I've only shoplifted once ever and I felt so bad about it afterwards I actually gave it back to the shop. I'm the biggest pussy to ever walk on this earth.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:03

Cmdr. Shepard: Jan 10, 2007

I use wifi hotspot on my phone without paying for tethering.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:04

Dolphin: Dec 5, 2008

My local superstore will take anything back no questions asked. If I need a tool or something that I don't want to pay for I just buy it at the store and return it after I'm done.

"Oh no, my car battery is dead. Guess it's time to go 'rent' the most expensive fast charger there is."
"poo poo, this mount needs holes drilled, guess it's time to 'rent' a really nice drill"
"Oh no, I'm all out of clean underwear..."

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:06

BART IM PISS: Aug 4, 2010; Can't post for 3931 days!

I have on occasion said nothing when my shallots have been put through the checkout as pickling onions.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:09

Twatworth: Apr 5, 2012

zakatak888 posted:

Australian term, similar to a scam except its not illegal.

Great! I have been defrauding the commonwealth government of hundreds of thousands of dollars by setting up a shell company in my wife's name and billing them for maintenance work on nine aircraft that never happened in reality.

Just a rort, but.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:09

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; What did you do, Ray?

I once sent a Facebook 'friend' request to a work colleague who I consider to be an acquaintance at best.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:12

Noni: Jul 8, 2003; I went to the hardware store to buy a hose but they didn't have any hoses.

When I go to Subway and they ask me what toppings I want, I say "Oh just mushrooms and olives." The Sandwich Artist will then add a hell of a lot of mushrooms and olives, assuming that I'm only getting those two toppings. When he's done, I say, "Oh yeah, and some peppers." I'll repeat this scheme a few more times before saying, "Heck, just put everything on there."

The result is a sandwich that has way more toppings than Subway ever intended, and usually it can't even be closed. I imagine that the manager reviews video of the scam and yells at his monitor, "YOU CUSTOMERS ARE SUPPOSED TO ONLY EAT LETTTUUUUCCEEE AND BREEEAAADDD!"

This works for any similar place. If you try it, be sure to start with the most expensive ingredients.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:13

Merou: Jul 23, 2005; mean green?

I use a wifi phone instead of paying 80 bucks a month for data+voice+text. Work has free wifi, a fair number of places in downtown areas have free wifi, and I have wifi at home. Costs 5 bucks for GrooveIP and you can make calls from your google voice number for free. Just got a little cheap ATT gophone for when I'm not in wifi.

My wifi phone even has GPS that works without data too, just look at the map area before you go out and itll still tell you where you are. You can do this with any android phone. I bought a samsung galaxy player 5.0 for mine though.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:14

Noni: Jul 8, 2003; I went to the hardware store to buy a hose but they didn't have any hoses.

Some more scams:

For some reason, many churches pass around entire plates of money. I think it's to pay people for having to suffer through it, so I always take extra.
Movie theaters don't care if you steal popcorn. It's true! All you have to do is dress poorly and take it right out of the trash cans, hovering over them as you chow down. Scammed!
In the vast knife-collecting community, it is a rule that you are to compensate someone for their time if they are kind enough to let you see their knife. You can exploit this custom by showing random people your knife. If they happen to be in the community, they'll give you some money!
It's a rule at 7-11 that refills cost $0.99, even for the massive 64-ounce drinks. But get this: You don't have to "refill" it with soda. It can be anything: sandwiches, beer, nacho cheese, cigarettes. Here's the secret: You have to know the passphrase. It's like the CIA or something. The teller will speak a challenge sentence to confirm your identity. It's something that strangers won't suspect like, "What are you doing, sir?" You answer with "The crow flies at midnight." To keep their cover, the tellers have to pretend that you're doing something wrong, but just wink at them to let them know that you know how it works.
Get this: If you wear coveralls and a name tag, all furniture in public buildings is free. Try it at a library! If someone is curious, just say, "I'm here to take a few of the desks." and they'll probably help you bring them outside.
If you have a cart and a clipboard as well, the computers are free too!

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:15

Pyroxene Stigma: Nov 30, 2005; Hey,Larry!! Your alibi completely collapsed !!!

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

I once sent a Facebook 'friend' request to a work colleague who I consider to be an acquaintance at best.

Little scams or "rorts" are one thing, but this? Devious. Too far. I have reported your posts, you evil scammer.

EDIT: all your posts

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:16

Blistex: Oct 30, 2003; "When I see someone tilting my tables, I shoot the Bastard. That's my policy!"

Mostly just little things.

I put the # for chocolate covered raisins on the tag when I'm actually getting chocolate covered espresso beans! I sometimes fill up on free bread and salad at a restaurant and then take my main course home for lunch the next day. Sometimes I'll take a stack of napkins whenever I see them and take them home to use. Occasionally I'll call up senior citizens I know in the community and pretend to be from their credit card company.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:17

Copley Depot: Jul 9, 2009; This space reserved for future text.

I like to hold my morning poo poo until I get into work.

Saves me from using my own toilet paper. And I get to do it on the clock!

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:17

Decrepus: May 21, 2008; All that you have found is your inevitable punishment.

When at weddings and I see people awkwardly trying to take pictures of their own party I offer to do it for them because now I own their souls!

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:18

Z-Magic: Feb 19, 2011; They talk about the people and the proletariat, I talk about the suckers and the mugs - it's the same thing. They have their five-year plans, so have I.

Sometimes I wear a pair of socks one more day than I should.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:23

TShields: Mar 29, 2007; We can rule them like gods! ...Angry gods.

This one time, I ran out of sticky notes at home, so I pocketed one from the work supply shelf. Oh god, please don't tell anyone.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:25

Bargearse: Nov 27, 2006; Don't get your pen, son, you won't be needing that. My order's simple, a shitload of dim sims. And I want a bucket of soya sauce.

When I was buying parts for my PC, the guy behind the counter forgot to charge me for a hard drive and several sticks of RAM. I didn't point this out to him.

Sometimes, I'll invent reasons to stay at work after hours and put it down as extra overtime.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:25

BjornOfBorg: Aug 28, 2011; I AM NOT BUTT WIZARD, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? HONESTLY!

I only shower on gym days because the water bill gets really expensive really quickly! I also wear yesterday's boxers to the gym, since I go early in the morning before work and there's no sense in wearing clean boxers during my workout and then another pair of clean boxers after my shower. This again saves me money because less laundry = less water used.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:26

Clumpy: Jul 30, 2005; This isn't as easy as you would think.

Stellar Curiosity posted:

Most credit/debit card agreements state that the card is personal and is not to be used by anyone other than the card holder.

Retailers aren't allowed to accept cards which belong to someone other than the person using it (the ID photo on the back [Norway] is a major give away). Imagine the uproar if that rule (law?) was being practised. A lot of cards tend to be passed around inside a family and between friends.

When I was 16 and working at a gas station, a guy came in to pay with his 'wife's' card. No idea if it was; all I know is there's no way that he was Stephanie Soandso. I asked for additional ID and he reached over the counter to try and hit me. He seemed to think that my asking for corroboration that the card was actually his was some sort of terrible insult. Then he swore at me and called me awful names - loudly, for about 90 seconds, in front of other customers and children - before storming off without paying for his gas. Thankfully, I had his license plate number; I at times wonder how he reacted when the police asked him for ID later that day.

To contribute: every few months we call one of our major service providers - phone, internet, electricity - and threaten to change to another provider. We do a little homework and quote to them the best offers going around. Almost guaranteed, they will match the best offer to keep us as customers.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:27

thedaian: Dec 11, 2005; Blistering idiots.

I never put ice in my drinks. And I always demand no ice at restaurants.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:28

Yaos: Feb 22, 2003; She is a cat of significant gravy.

I charge people for GPS service even though it's paid for by the American tax payer.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:28

Joe Don Baker: Jun 20, 2004

When I need to mail stuff out I just use my employers UPS account so it's all free for me.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:28

your heart: Oct 24, 2010; beating right next to me

I steal money from the alzheimer patients I care for.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:31

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; What did you do, Ray?

I paid a guy to break my leg so bad that it never healed properly so now I get to use the disabled parking spaces at the supermarket anytime I want.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:33

Splatmaster: Aug 1, 2007; Glib gibblets

I dare every one of you to go back and re-read the OP but imagine in your head the voice of the Outback Steakhouse commercial guy speaking the words. DO IT.

I loving dare you

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:33

Dolphin: Dec 5, 2008

Clumpy posted:

When I was 16 and working at a gas station, a guy came in to pay with his 'wife's' card. No idea if it was; all I know is there's no way that he was Stephanie Soandso. I asked for additional ID

For future reference, you're not allowed to do this.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:36

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# ? May 21, 2013 23:46

reallivedinosaur: Jun 13, 2012

When I registered I sent in my

in Zimbabwe dollars.

# ? Jun 21, 2012 12:39

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