Bar Rescue S3: Deep in the Olive Pits - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The TV IV > Bar Rescue S3: Deep in the Olive Pits

endolithic: Jan 1, 2007; URDNOT GRUNT puts the "quad" in your squad!

All we need is a "you'll KILL SOMEONE" and we'll have Ramsay Bingo!

("You could have made MY DAUGHTER sick!" doesn't count.)

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:11

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# ? May 26, 2013 02:27

iastudent: Apr 22, 2008; You walk through life not knowing who the idiots are! That gives them the element of surprise! And that's how they ruin your day!

"It's not negligence, it's ignorance."

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:17

vyst: Aug 25, 2009; Hoegaarden and Friendship.

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Hhahaha that owns.

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:18

Robotnik DDS: Oct 31, 2004

There's no place for assholes in hospitality - Jon Taffer

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:19

vyst: Aug 25, 2009; Hoegaarden and Friendship.

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I had never even heard of an Inception Bomb before tonight. I need to go to more bars i guess.

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:19

endolithic: Jan 1, 2007; URDNOT GRUNT puts the "quad" in your squad!

"There's no room for assholes in hospitality." Oh Taffer you really should not be the one giving that line.

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:19

iastudent: Apr 22, 2008; You walk through life not knowing who the idiots are! That gives them the element of surprise! And that's how they ruin your day!

MAGGOTS

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:21

Robotnik DDS: Oct 31, 2004

drat this is nasty

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:23

vyst: Aug 25, 2009; Hoegaarden and Friendship.

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Jesus christ just burn that kitchen down.

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:23

endolithic: Jan 1, 2007; URDNOT GRUNT puts the "quad" in your squad!

Jesus Christ stop touching it!

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:24

iastudent: Apr 22, 2008; You walk through life not knowing who the idiots are! That gives them the element of surprise! And that's how they ruin your day!

I did not need to see him handling that grease.

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:24

vyst: Aug 25, 2009; Hoegaarden and Friendship.

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I can't stop cringing at this.

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:25

NOTinuyasha: Oct 17, 2006

What the gently caress?

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:27

vyst: Aug 25, 2009; Hoegaarden and Friendship.

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A dead rat

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:30

NOTinuyasha: Oct 17, 2006

It's cool guys, he's seen dead rats before, no biggie.

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:31

iastudent: Apr 22, 2008; You walk through life not knowing who the idiots are! That gives them the element of surprise! And that's how they ruin your day!

"Smirnoff" mixologist.

Subtle.

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:32

Robotnik DDS: Oct 31, 2004

It still cracks me up that this show is TV-PG

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:34

Dominus Vobiscum: Sep 2, 2004; Our motives are multiple, our desires complex.

There goes my appetite.

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:37

vyst: Aug 25, 2009; Hoegaarden and Friendship.

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I don't think I'm going to eat at any bar ever again.

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:39

iastudent: Apr 22, 2008; You walk through life not knowing who the idiots are! That gives them the element of surprise! And that's how they ruin your day!

The password for this episode is... FLAIR. _{And DRYROT}

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:43

vyst: Aug 25, 2009; Hoegaarden and Friendship.

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iastudent posted:

The password for this episode is... FLAIR. _{And DRYROT}

The Nazi's made the jews ~~wear pieces of flair~~ do flair bartending.

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:45

osukeith161: Dec 19, 2004; Can't post for 46 hours!

I was once going to leave a bar, but because the bartender spun the napkin on her hand for a second before putting it on the bar, I stayed for 1.5 more drinks. I am a sucker for flair.

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:51

endolithic: Jan 1, 2007; URDNOT GRUNT puts the "quad" in your squad!

I have to admit, I like the name.

(Smirnoff Smirnoff Smirnoff)

# ? Aug 6, 2012 01:56

vyst: Aug 25, 2009; Hoegaarden and Friendship.

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endolithic posted:

I have to admit, I like the name.

(Smirnoff Smirnoff Smirnoff)

Season 1 was Guinness Guinness Guinness so I don't really mind the product placement heh.

# ? Aug 6, 2012 02:00

Inspector_71: Oct 7, 2003; ...essence

My favorite thing about Taffer is that he's so unapologetically about making money. Kitchen Nightmares usually tries to put a veneer of "Getting that passion back!" or adds in all of the family drama. Bar Rescue is all about "Here's how the make the most money. gently caress your theme, gently caress your expectations of how you wanted to run this place." And how often he's like "Drop everything else, get more single women in here."

# ? Aug 6, 2012 02:55

Antti: Oct 10, 2006

Inspector_71 posted:

My favorite thing about Taffer is that he's so unapologetically about making money. Kitchen Nightmares usually tries to put a veneer of "Getting that passion back!" or adds in all of the family drama. Bar Rescue is all about "Here's how the make the most money. gently caress your theme, gently caress your expectations of how you wanted to run this place." And how often he's like "Drop everything else, get more single women in here."

Yeah, it's refreshing because it's so honest. It's a loving business. If you want to lose 250k a year because you want to do it out of passion, you better be a multimillionaire and then it's a hobby not a business. And since it's all about the bottom line, it's all about the numbers. They aren't coy or shy pointing out how the name of the game is selling overpriced drinks with as little alcohol in them as possible, because that's the most expensive ingredient and because people will buy more of them to get blitzed.

Antti fucked around with this message at Aug 6, 2012 around 16:19

# ? Aug 6, 2012 16:17

OG KUSH BLUNTS: Jan 4, 2011

This show and Shark Tank are really the only "reality" shows that accurately depict how successful businesses think and run.

# ? Aug 7, 2012 04:12

FISHMANPET: Mar 3, 2007

Goddamnit flair is not cool. And this flair guy is looking at these 3 for not mastering it after a few minutes like they're all idiots.

And that bartender's low cut top is going to do way more to bring in college guys than flair.

# ? Aug 7, 2012 05:43

smg77: Apr 27, 2007; I FUCKING LOVE FATTY GOATSTEAKS!

Inspector_71 posted:

My favorite thing about Taffer is that he's so unapologetically about making money. Kitchen Nightmares usually tries to put a veneer of "Getting that passion back!" or adds in all of the family drama. Bar Rescue is all about "Here's how the make the most money. gently caress your theme, gently caress your expectations of how you wanted to run this place." And how often he's like "Drop everything else, get more single women in here."

If these bars are really in the financial situations they claim they are it's probably best to focus on nothing but profit.

# ? Aug 7, 2012 06:19

Old Man Pants: Nov 21, 2010; Strippers are people too!

FISHMANPET posted:

Goddamnit flair is not cool.

Its cool to people that work in bars! Just like almost no one cares about a handcrafted cocktail made with house infused spirits, its the difference between the connoisseur and the average guest.

# ? Aug 7, 2012 12:08

CrowsNestMutineer: Mar 9, 2009; _{* Juciano makes the best damned Caesar dressing I've ever tasted in my life.}

Old Man Pants posted:

Its cool to people that work in bars! Just like almost no one cares about a handcrafted cocktail made with house infused spirits, its the difference between the connoisseur and the average guest.

I care about a handcrafted cocktail made with house-infused spirits, but I don't care about flair. You want to be a juggler, go juggle somewhere else.

edit: Holy poo poo, someone bought me a custom avatar! I love it!

# ? Aug 7, 2012 12:32

osukeith161: Dec 19, 2004; Can't post for 46 hours!

CrowsNestMutineer posted:

I care about a handcrafted cocktail made with house-infused spirits, but I don't care about flair. You want to be a juggler, go juggle somewhere else.

Hear, hear! I like to drink. I like bars that like people who like to drink. Those bars tend to be dives with cheap liquor and cheap surroundings, but there are still a good bit of them that utilize handcrafted cocktails. They tend to be "speakeasies", "whisky bars", and other things that alert you that the drink is of paramount importance. Contrast that with "club", "lounge", etc. that tend to have the low-cut-shirt buxom bartenders. Flair. And bottle service.

My problem with his approach, and many of these other "help business x" show is that they come at it with the same approach. McDonald's is wildly profitable, so is Olive Garden, then you have your Smith and Wollensky places, but you can also have local restaurants. Hell, a food truck and pop-up restaurant can be as profitable as some brick and mortar places.

You can't turn every bar into a Vegas night club and you can't make every restaurant a Michellin-starred quality. I mean, what did those drat drink systems alone cost? I know they were provided gratis (or at a deep discount) for the free advertising, but come on. This is a "college"ish bar? You don't need that stuff.

You go to Senor Frogs to see people throw bottles around and pretend like they are Tom Cruise in Cocktail. I go to bars to drink and find interesting people to shoot the poo poo with. This bar seemed to offer little of either after the remake.

# ? Aug 7, 2012 15:44

CrowsNestMutineer: Mar 9, 2009; _{* Juciano makes the best damned Caesar dressing I've ever tasted in my life.}

osukeith161 posted:

My problem with his approach, and many of these other "help business x" show is that they come at it with the same approach.

Bingo. Taffer claims to have invented something he calls "bar science," which can optimize everything about a bar, down to the height of the stools, in a perfect one-size-fits-all standard. Obviously this can't be true; if it were, Murphy's would still be in business.

# ? Aug 7, 2012 16:11

vyst: Aug 25, 2009; Hoegaarden and Friendship.

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Murphy's probably went out of business because the area they were in was so over-saturated with bars. It's hard to create a niche even in that kind of environment.

And to be fair to Taffer, a lot of these bars suffer the same problem as the owners in Kitchen Nightmares in that they are *so* far in the hole that the chance of them coming out of it even with help is slim to none.

# ? Aug 7, 2012 16:12

CrowsNestMutineer: Mar 9, 2009; _{* Juciano makes the best damned Caesar dressing I've ever tasted in my life.}

vyst posted:

Murphy's probably went out of business because the area they were in was so over-saturated with bars. It's hard to create a niche even in that kind of environment.

Fells Point has the highest concentration of bars per square mile of anywhere in the United States, so it's not really over-saturation so much as part of the neighborhood's personality and history. It dates back to the eighteenth century, when Fells Point was a major hub of shipping and shipbuilding. Sailors and dockworkers like to drink. (There also used to be quite a few brothels, but I don't know of any now.)

# ? Aug 7, 2012 16:21

FISHMANPET: Mar 3, 2007

Wait Murphy's went out of business? I thought the end said sales were improving?

# ? Aug 7, 2012 16:24

CrowsNestMutineer: Mar 9, 2009; _{* Juciano makes the best damned Caesar dressing I've ever tasted in my life.}

FISHMANPET posted:

Wait Murphy's went out of business? I thought the end said sales were improving?

Nope. It's gone.

At this point, if Jon Taffer were to say that the sky is blue, I'd double-check.

# ? Aug 7, 2012 16:29

AzureFlame: Nov 26, 2009

FISHMANPET posted:

Wait Murphy's went out of business? I thought the end said sales were improving?

Most shows like these lead to the restaurant closing. Over half of the shows on Kitchen Nightmares have either been sold or shut down.

# ? Aug 7, 2012 16:35

Jack Skeleton: Dec 7, 2006

It's like when I see a groupon offer for a joint. It's a clear sign that the place is so far in the hole that they'll resort to all those last ditch efforts to save them.

While I agree that businesses don't have a soul, or whatever, you can't really count on flair to work in this sort of bar. It's a college bar and people were going there specifically for ways to get poo poo faced cheap with drinks like inception.

He tried to make a whore a housewife. I think they went with the wrong approach to attempt saving this one with the cocktails flair bullshit.

# ? Aug 7, 2012 19:48

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# ? May 26, 2013 02:27

hhhmmm: Jan 1, 2006; ...?

Checked out the show after reading the thread.

It's interesting when they do research and come up with well-reasoned arguments tailored to the place. The place is losing money because it's hostile to women/overpouring/inefficient movement/bad food due to X/Y/Z.

But every episode contains 15 minutes of filler that really sucks. Change the name. Change the name. Change the name. Get in someone's face. Clean the kitchen. Be convinced that the owner wants to make a change after a SERIOUS HEARTFElT TALK (no matter how half-assed they are about it). Change the menu and change the drinks. Which sometimes makes sense, but I really wish that skip it when not appropiate.

# ? Aug 7, 2012 20:54

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