50 Shades Of Shit... sorry I mean Grey - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Gas Chamber > 50 Shades Of Shit... sorry I mean Grey

Wotsits: Jul 31, 2012; by Fistgrrl

My wife is driving me crazy with this book 50 shades of grey, she reads the book out loud in bed thinking it is going to turn me on. For Christ's sake it's just about some guy called Christian and his dick (from what I gather). I dont want to hear all that. I don't know what to do, my wife actually WANTS to have sex with me now, before I had to take her out, spend money and hope for the best at the end of the night. It just doesn't feel right. I am currently faking a back injury so I can sleep on the couch, I can't take any more. I swear that so called author E. L. James is going to be responsible for alot of marriage break-ups.

For Christ's sake porn is not meant to be read! If women like porn that much why won't they just watch it with us?

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:21

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2013 21:11

Peven Stan: Feb 1, 2006

cool story

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:21

Leovinus: Apr 28, 2005; by Y Kant Ozma Post

Thanks for registering and sharing this great story about your idiot wife.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:22

Pollyanna: Mar 5, 2005; 兄のハウスを調べろ

For Christporn sake:bung:

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:22

COMPUTER SECRETS: Oct 6, 2003; Pig Sooie

You should like a horrible husband. What is your wife's number?

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:23

Capn Beeb: Jun 29, 2003; Can it be fired with a massive erection?

Boy you sure showed her what's what!

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:23

Comrade Question: Mar 30, 2011; "Is a fixed income not a good thing? Does not everyone love to count on a sure thing?"

I can't wait for the episode when she uses a steak to trick you into sex.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:23

DEAD MAN'S SHOE: Nov 23, 2003; We will become evil and the stars will come alive

Cry me a river Sexhaver

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:23

Leovinus: Apr 28, 2005; by Y Kant Ozma Post

50 Shades Of My Idiot Wife

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:23

moonsour: Feb 13, 2007; Ortowned

I hope you registered just to tell us how much your wife likes Twilight fanfiction.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:23

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

Yeah, god, why can't women understand that Asian Anal Gangbangers #15 is just as poignant as some romance story with detailed sex scenes.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:23

weekly font: Dec 1, 2004; WOO
WOO
WOO

You know it!

How could you have confused the words "poo poo" and "grey" they don't even rhyme or start with similar letters?

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:24

Slumpy: Jun 10, 2008

My wife is effin dead

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:24

Toad on a Hat: May 27, 2004; He never raised his voice. That was the worst thing. The fury of the Time Lord.

And then we discovered why. Why this doctor, who had fought with gods and demons, why he'd run away from us and hidden.

He was being kind.

I'm sorry your wife wants to have sex with you. That must be a terrible life you have.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:25

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; What did you do, Ray?

Wotsits posted:

I don't know what to do, my wife actually WANTS to have sex with me now

You're fifty shades of gay.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:25

Bathtub Cheese: Jun 15, 2008; In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: Not necessarily to Win, but mainly to keep from Losing Completely.

Wotsits posted:

For Christ's sake porn is not meant to be read! If women like porn that much why won't they just watch it with us?

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:25

lorn Wayne: Jan 7, 2006; Take your, heh, SHOT at world domination

Standup comedy has taught me 3 things:

1. Airline peanuts are terrible
2. The lines at the American DMV are long
3. Wives suck rear end for not wanting to have sex, ever

You've found a solution for number 3 so what the hell are you complaining about.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:25

Hot Sauce Batman: Oct 8, 2011

Women, am I right fellas? And what's the deal with Twilight??? ''Oooh Edward I love you soooo much'' ''Duhh hurr durr Bella I'm a vampire and I sparkle'' ''Grrr my name's Jacob and I'm a werewolf fart fart fart''

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:25

Fimbulvinter: Nov 6, 2008; by elpintogrande

This is just like that one time in my favorite sitcom. Thanks for the memories OP.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:25

Georgia Peach: Jan 7, 2005; SECESSION IS FUTILE

I love Christian dick.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:25

giacomo: Mar 11, 2008

I like the part where you still listen to your wife.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:25

vyst: Aug 25, 2009; Hoegaarden and Friendship.

This av/title brought to you by Vyst complaining about his old avatar.

God bless.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:26

Leovinus: Apr 28, 2005; by Y Kant Ozma Post

God, what is WRONG WITH YOU I'm trying to sleep you enjoyable human being WIFE

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:26

buy a hotdog!: Oct 24, 2010

Was going to have SEX with my wife but instead reached for the

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:27

nudejedi: Mar 5, 2002; Shanghai Tippytap

50 shades of shitposting.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:27

script kitty: Jan 2, 2005; GOTTA GO CATTES

Hahaha women shouldn't be able to have access to things that turn them on. My huge dick should be enough, heh.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:27

Wotsits: Jul 31, 2012; by Fistgrrl

lorn Wayne posted:

Standup comedy has taught me 3 things:

1. Airline peanuts are terrible
2. The lines at the American DMV are long
3. Wives suck rear end for not wanting to have sex, ever

You've found a solution for number 3 so what the hell are you complaining about.

Have you seen my wife? She had a fight with the Pillsbury Doughboy a few years ago and I think she ate him.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:27

Georgia Peach: Jan 7, 2005; SECESSION IS FUTILE

Wotsits posted:

Have you seen my wife? She had a fight with the Pillsbury Doughboy a few years ago and I think she ate him.

Ya just can't get no respect!

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:28

BaconButts: Jan 26, 2011; It was worth ten dollars to everyone but me.

Hey put this guy back in he's not done yet.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:29

concerned mom: Apr 22, 2003

I have never seen a fight where the victor eats the loser. Then again I've never seen Wotsits' wife.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:29

Dead Cow: Nov 3, 2009; Passion makes the world go round.
Love just makes it a safer place.

Wotsits posted:

My wife is driving me crazy with this book 50 shades of grey, she reads the book out loud in bed thinking it is going to turn me on. For Christ's sake it's just about some guy called Christian and his dick (from what I gather). I dont want to hear all that. I don't know what to do, my wife actually WANTS to have sex with me now, before I had to take her out, spend money and hope for the best at the end of the night. It just doesn't feel right. I am currently faking a back injury so I can sleep on the couch, I can't take any more. I swear that so called author E. L. James is going to be responsible for alot of marriage break-ups.

For Christ's sake porn is not meant to be read! If women like porn that much why won't they just watch it with us?

She doesn't read it out loud cause she thinks it's going to turn you on, she reads it out loud cause she has to sound out the big words.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:30

CADPAT: Jul 23, 2004; For the men
to my left and right!

Wotsits posted:

Have you seen my wife? She had a fight with the Pillsbury Doughboy a few years ago and I think she ate him.

I can see you're still madly in love.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:30

DEAD MAN'S SHOE: Nov 23, 2003; We will become evil and the stars will come alive

You should become a stand-up comedian maybe then she won't want to have sex with you. You already got the material

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:30

Tampax: Sep 25, 2006; He appears to be enjoying it

My wife can't read.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:30

Y Kant Ozma Post: Jun 7, 2001; show, pro-heart, that you have got gall!

It's actually a pretty good novel. Have you read it? It deals with some complex issues in relationships--- communication these days seems to be at a premium. How often do you really communicate your wants and desires to your partner? It sounds like your wife wants to connect with you and apparently you're more interested in connecting with a bunch of strangers on the internet rather than take just a moment to let your wife know that you love her and care for her.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:30

Bash Ironfist: Aug 16, 2008

eat poo poo sexhavers

Edit: Also have you thought about just talking to your wife maybe? That might help.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:30

DamnitGannet: Apr 8, 2007

You sound like a great husband.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:30

Magrov: Mar 27, 2010

50 shades of grey excerpt read by a male synthetic voice. Warning: Contains NWS language read by a robot.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:31

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; What did you do, Ray?

Wotsits posted:

Have you seen my wife? She had a fight with the Pillsbury Doughboy a few years ago and I think she ate him.

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:31

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2013 21:11

Drunk & Ugly: Feb 9, 2003; GIMME GIMME GIMME, DON'T ASK WHAT FOR

Wotsits posted:

Have you seen my wife? She had a fight with the Pillsbury Doughboy a few years ago and I think she ate him.

This is some straight disrespect up in this poo poo yo

What's the difference between Wotsits wife and a 747? Not everyone's been on a 747! Ohhhh snap haha

# ? Jul 31, 2012 18:31

«‹›4 »

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Gas Chamber > 50 Shades Of Shit... sorry I mean Grey