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Goons, I have been conducting field research and I have disturbing results to share with you. I have noticed for the past several days that women are very bad at walking and standing. This troubled me because several of my friends are women and I feared for their well-being. To confirm my hypothesis that women are unable to move safely, I walked around a major city today and kept a gender-specific tally of moving incidents, including walking into things, falling over, or stopping in the middle of traffic in a probable state of bewilderment. The results clearly showed that women simply can't travel on their own safely. An overwhelming majority of incidents were from women, including one who WALKED INTO A CAUTION SIGN for a slippery floor and fell right over! Another woman walked right into the middle of the street, stopped, and bent over to pick something up as the light turned green and cars had to swerve around her. Interestingly, no woman who was escorted by another person, male or female, had an incident. Goons, I am hoping together we can brainstorm a solution. Perhaps women should were some sort of orthopedic balance shoe? Maybe some sort of harness with training wheels sticking out so they can topple about safely? Please post your ideas. I realize this is an unpopular subject and some of our more female admins may try to cover this up. Such a hysterical response might make you move so quickly you'll have a disastrous incident! Please be careful and note the probable outcome below: Thank you to the anonymous admin for the below fan art!  (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:36 |
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| # ? May 18, 2013 15:13 |
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I am sympathetic to your cause.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:37 |
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Sheesh. Women. Am I right?
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:38 |
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Holy poo poo. I thought I was the only one who noticed. Almost 1'd till I saw the Ozma picture. Now I'm conflicted.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:38 |
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yep women often walk while not looking where they are going, what's your point?
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:38 |
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I don't get it. 
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:39 |
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You will be sent to the peppermines.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:40 |
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Could you explain what gravitational lensing is, OP?
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:40 |
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Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:40 |
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razamataza posted:yep women often walk while not looking where they are going, what's your point? It's a tremendous public health issue that I think can be easily resolved. The purpose of this thread is to brainstorm cheap, effective solutions.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:40 |
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Clearly, single women are walking disasters. I wonder if they tied dolls to themselves if this could be a stop gap until a more permanent solution is found? Edit: Or cats. this may be why so many single women have so many cats. I suggest further research.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:41 |
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Oops someone forgot to log out before their bitter roommate came home.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:41 |
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GBS sure is on a roll these days. Yeah I want to know what gravitational lensing is, too, OP. Will it keep me safe from females toppling into me? 
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:42 |
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That's not a very thorough experiment.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:42 |
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Hellsau posted:Could you explain what gravitational lensing is, OP? Spacetime is curved around massive objects and can magnify distant images. It's why a lot more stars are visible in that area.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:42 |
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I just got done taking a huge poo poo. Like a once a month sized poo poo. I don't know how this helps our current problem, but I thought everyone should know.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:43 |
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Have you considered that this might be a regional thing? Where I am from, two (or more) women walking together was always seen as increasing the odds of hallway congestion and lowering the apparent situational awareness of the traveling group. It's a good time to apply for a research grant to look into this, don't miss the window.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:43 |
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What the gently caress is with this place today
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:44 |
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Why are Ozma's eyes red? Is it because she's in space?
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:44 |
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Old Man Fancington posted:Spacetime is curved around massive objects and can magnify distant images. It's why a lot more stars are visible in that area. What is spacetime?
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:45 |
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Safe and Secure! posted:Why are Ozma's eyes red? Is it because she's in space? I think all three panels are in space.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:45 |
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Chronojam posted:Have you considered that this might be a regional thing? Where I am from, two (or more) women walking together was always seen as increasing the odds of hallway congestion and lowering the apparent situational awareness of the traveling group. While hallway congestion certainly increases, I feel a woman with at least one other person is like a stool with three or more legs. If the woman starts to fall, the other person seems to guide her back into a standing position.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:45 |
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OMG JC a Bomb! posted:Oops someone forgot to log out before their bitter roommate came home. That makes no sense, how would his roommate know we have an admin called Ozma? Unless he's been planning for a long time. Perhaps the OP has feelings for her and his roommate just wanted to ruin it all.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:46 |
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Hellsau posted:What is spacetime?
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:46 |
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Old Man Fancington posted:Spacetime is curved around massive objects and can magnify distant images. It's why a lot more stars are visible in that area. So, it's like the Matrix bullet time? You're on to something here. Silly OP, there is neither wind nor sound in space.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:47 |
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Wait, did you plot this by gender or sex? This is important.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:48 |
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Safe and Secure! posted:Why are Ozma's eyes red? Is it because she's in space? In the third panel, yes, the exposure to a hard vacuum caused the blood vessels in her eyes to become brittle and break. However in the first two panels, undiagnosed diabetes has caused subconjunctival hemorrhaging and resulted in temporary bleeding in her eyes. Godholio posted:Wait, did you plot this by gender or sex? This is important. I plotted it by the gender the person appeared to identify with. This is a valid point though in that the falling problem may be cultural and not biological if MtF transgendered also suffer from this condition. This would be a great follow-on study.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:48 |
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That's not how gravitational lensing works at all If you were trying to make a joke that, say, Ozma was fat, you would need to have a warped object in space and then say that said object lies between Ozma and us, meaning that Ozma's massive size is causing the gravitational lensing seen around the object.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:49 |
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Do teen transexuals tend to topple, too?
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:49 |
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WHY DID I HAVE TO GROW UP IN THE SOUTH
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Man, this is all too true for me. I find it so hard to navigate through life without my escorts. Why just yesterday I got the vapors and couldn't get to my fainting couch! It's wonderful that you have given thought to the true perils women face every day.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:51 |
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Safe and Secure! posted:Why are Ozma's eyes red? Is it because she's in space? Ozma, her eyes red, her face pink, her torso spherical.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:52 |
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| # ? May 18, 2013 15:13 |
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Floorgazer posted:Man, this is all too true for me. I find it so hard to navigate through life without my escorts. Why just yesterday I got the vapors and couldn't get to my fainting couch! It's wonderful that you have given thought to the true perils women face every day. I appreciate all feedback, and since you are on the front lines of this issue as a woman, do you have any solutions? If they are quality, I'd be happy to list you as a co-author once I publish my study.
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| # ? Aug 1, 2012 00:54 |
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