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Was I Chairchucker's loser? You can tell me, cuz
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Jan 1, 2013 21:07
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:Was I Chairchucker's loser? You can tell me, cuz I think that was me on account of having musical taste and stuff.
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Jan 1, 2013 21:40
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I've been asked to fill in for one of the judges this week and come down upon you with my inhuman wrath. We're in the final stages of finalizing the prompt and the rules. Expect pure mayhem this week. 
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Jan 1, 2013 23:59
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 THUNDERDOME WEEK XXII: Schroedinger's Nihilarian Greetings fellow cretins. It appears I have finally been able break free of the shadow of my own mediocrity and regain the Thunderdome crown. Huzzah! As I don the crown, sceptre, and robes of this esteemed office, I must ask you all a question: Are you sitting comfortably? I'm sure the answer is yes, in which case gently caress you. In the spirit of entering a New Year, in which I am sure 99.9% of you resolved to become better writers, the theme of this week's Thunderdome is discomfort. I want you all to break out of the little writerly boxes that you inhabit and try something new. To that end, I have chosen a simple prompt, but one that comes with A CONDITION. The Prompt: A person who deals with things lacking importance Word oval office: maximum 1000 The Condition:  Your entry must represent something new for you in terms of writing.Whether you want to explore a genre you are unfamiliar with, try out a new perspective, or utilise a technique you've never tried before, I want you to experiment. Try something that you're terrible at, or that you've seen someone else do and want to have a go at. I want you to get so far outside your comfort zone that you pee your pants with anticipation about how well your entry is going to be received. Many of you are, by now, seasoned Thunderdome competitors, as a result of which, Erik Shawn-Bohner, HiddenGecko and I are all quite familiar with your general writing style. Therefore, you will be judged not just on the quality of what you submit, but also on how effectively you manage to break out of your usual mould and venture in a new direction. To that end, you have to tell me what new thing you're planning to try out in your sign up post. I don't need to know what you're going to write about or any plot points, just give me 10-20 words (or less) about how you plan to experiment with your entry. For example, you could just say "I'm in, and I'm going to attempt magical realism." As an additional note, poetry is welcomed and encouraged. If you want to practice your blank verse, epic poetry, narrative verse or whatever, please feel free to do so, but you must keep to a minimum word count of 350. Don't think that poetry is the easy way out, because it 'aint  Signup deadline is 11:59pm EST on Friday, January 4th. Submission deadline is 11:59pm EST on Sunday, January 6th. Here is a handy clock to tell you what time it is in any city in the Eastern Standard Timezone that you care to name. Use it. Also, I'm going to go ahead and initiate pairing people up for in-depth critiques. You will be assigned an entry to critique once they are all submitted, and I'm going to suggest that you aim to submit your critique within 72 hours, for politeness' sake. Now, go get uncomfortable, and make me proud (or I'll murder you)  Babies making Mama proud: SurreptitiousMuffin: Funny, no fantasy or altered states. Beezle Bug: First person noir romance. Noah: Contemporary lit featuring an albatross (per HiddenGecko). Capntastic: A dialogue-driven story Bad Seafood: Steam of consciousness sword and sorcery. supermikhail: Future second person children's lit. Benagain: Narrative poetry. Sebmojo: Kitchen sink romantic comedy/drama. twinkle cave: Horror. toanoradian: Dark sensual realistic romantic erotica. With a secretary bird that must not die, and crushing poverty, and a religious crutch (per HG and FM) STONE OF MADNESS: Upbeat, lite historical romance. With plovers. Symptomless Coma: Horror with a believably unlikeable protagonist. Iroel: Sci-fi. In short paragraphs. Zack Gochuck: Teen supernatural semi-erotica romance story. No werewolves, no vampires (per FM) swaziloo: Not-scifi, not-fantasy tween fiction that is self-contained. Martello: Magical realist free verse.
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Jan 2, 2013 00:00
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Final stages complete. GO GO GO
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Jan 2, 2013 00:03
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Alright, let's do this. I'm thinking a funny story that contains no fantastical elements or states of altered consciousness. Can I get away with that or is it too broad?
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Jan 2, 2013 00:07
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:Alright, let's do this. I'm thinking a funny story that contains no fantastical elements or states of altered consciousness. Can I get away with that or is it too broad? It's perfect, bravo! As long as you suggest something that represents a significant diversion from your usual ouvre, we will probably accept it.
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Jan 2, 2013 00:17
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So romance is absolutely what I'm worst at and if I sign up that'd be my go to thing-I-write-badly. Thing is, it's also what I did last week. Given that I lost I think doing romance again would be appropriate still, but I'm not sure! If this is a valid entry for me I'm signing up right now, if not I'll think of something else. EDIT: Gonna up the ante and make it noir romance because I am also terrible at noir and a lot of people here are not. EDIT2: FIRST PERSON noir romance. I think I've got it all now!
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Jan 2, 2013 00:21
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Beezle Bug posted:So romance is absolutely what I'm worst at and if I sign up that'd be my go to thing-I-write-badly. Thing is, it's also what I did last week. Given that I lost I think doing romance again would be appropriate still, but I'm not sure! If this is a valid entry for me I'm signing up right now, if not I'll think of something else. If you sign up? I think you just did, son. However, I will say that if you're going to combine two genres you claim to be awful at, then you better make both of them awesome
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Jan 2, 2013 00:28
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In.
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Jan 2, 2013 01:09
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Noah posted:In. Fanky Malloons posted:You have to tell me what new thing you're planning to try out in your sign up post.
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Jan 2, 2013 01:22
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In, with a focus on "dialogue".
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Jan 2, 2013 01:30
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Stream of consciousness sword and sorcery.
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Jan 2, 2013 01:38
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Capntastic posted:In, with a focus on "dialogue". Can you be more specific? Like, say, a story driven by dialogue? Featuring a realistic, seamlessly flowing conversation? Just "dialogue" seems pretty broad.
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Jan 2, 2013 01:41
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Fanky Malloons posted:Just "dialogue" seems pretty broad. I've always tried to use dialogue sparingly and to break up blocks of narrative prose because even though I have a decent lock on how to make people say things that flow right, slotting conversations into a larger story always seems to be too harsh of a gear change for me. So, I guess if I had to refine it, it'd be have a story driven by dialogue, with the caveat that neither the dialogue or rest of the prose are vestigial to the other.
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Jan 2, 2013 01:51
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Capntastic posted:So, I guess if I had to refine it, it'd be have a story driven by dialogue, with the caveat that neither the dialogue or rest of the prose are vestigial to the other. Okay, that's cool. I just want to make sure everyone has a firm idea of what they're experimenting with/how they're experimenting.
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Jan 2, 2013 02:05
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I'm new. Future second person children's lit for me, please (took some googling to come up with). I think no one can go crazier than this, and also this can only fail unfunnily, but no one can say that I didn't challenge myself.
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Jan 2, 2013 02:25
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Welcome, I'm excited for you to join us!supermikhail posted:I'm new. The aim is not to out-crazy each other, or to post terrible fail-stories, but to push yourself by doing something you've never done before and making a serious effort to do it well. Don't just do something just because you think no-one else will do it and/or because it's ridiculously difficult, do it because you want to try something new whilst also writing something you can be proud of at the end.
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Jan 2, 2013 02:40
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I don't know yet. Not really sure what I'm uncomfortable with.
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Jan 2, 2013 03:23
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Comedy answer: Submitting an entry on time. Actual answer: I usually try to go for a smooth flow magical realism type of deal. So I'm going to go with narrative poetry, because I have never done anything like that and it sounds cool.
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Jan 2, 2013 03:43
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Benagain posted:Comedy answer: Submitting an entry on time. Awesome! I'm pretty excited by the current entries, more people need to sign up already!
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Jan 2, 2013 03:46
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Fanky rules the dome! A celebration for her excellent work. Well done noble friend, but beware, I have no problem sending to an early grave the moment you slip.
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Jan 2, 2013 04:19
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In. Kitchen sink romantic comedy/drama. ^^ that's mistress fanky to you, bub
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Jan 2, 2013 04:22
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In. I've never written horror and don't like it.
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Jan 2, 2013 04:35
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Regarding crit swaps: A golden rule of crit swaps might be, crit someone if you get critted. Doesn't have to be the person that gave you one... just crit somebody. I don't give a poo poo too much if anyone crits me, but it would be nice to see people return the favor to others once they've been critted. And if you see someone that hasn't gotten one, hook a brother up. That could stand for when circumstances don't line-up for crit pairing by judges or whatever. Also, Ph.D. Bohner's suggestion of putting your flash rules at the head of your story will help a lot for those of us doing "the lords work". Not sure it should be a rule, but it is a helpful suggestion for those that want crit. I'm on a crit streak in hope of making me a better writer. Some wise bastard told me that criting is the next best thing to actually writing and is a good thing to do when you're not in the mood to write... keeps you in the game and sharp. Also, I agree with whoever said not to put too many rules or whatever on the whole thing. TD is simple... enter, kickass or die, keep coming back. That works.
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Jan 2, 2013 04:40
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Noah posted:I don't know yet. Not really sure what I'm uncomfortable with. About, about, in reel and rout The death-fires danced at night; The water, like a witch's oils, Burnt green, and blue, and white. And some in dreams assured were Of the Spirit that plagued us so; Nine fathom deep he had followed us From the land of mist and snow. And every tongue, through utter drought, Was withered at the root; We could not speak, no more than if We had been choked with soot. Ah! well-a-day! what evil looks Had I from old and young! Instead of the cross, the Albatross About my neck was hung."  You wavered and you wept. Your crew, thirsty and cold. Your story now. Shall be saddled with an albatross About your neck, for all to see.* *You're going to have an albatross in your story for not following the rules right out the gate, and it'll be contemporary lit. I'll string suitable birds around other people's necks if they follow your example.
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Jan 2, 2013 04:41
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twinkle cave posted:Regarding crit swaps: This is a good principle to follow. I'm going to be pairing entrants up to critique one another post-judging, but that doesn't mean that you can't critique someone else's entry too if you have some insight you want to share. The only rules for critiquing should be: get it done in 72 hours or less, and give a critique that you would be satisfied to recieve. (PS: Thank you for your critiques on the last round of entries, you set a stellar example for the rest of us to follow this week) HiddenGecko posted:You're going to have an albatross in your story for not following the rules right out the gate, and it'll be contemporary lit. I'll string suitable birds around other people's necks if they follow your example. ILU 
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Jan 2, 2013 05:03
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You know what, I'm indecisive. There are three areas in which I had never written about : 1) Something with sexuality. While I have written about fetishists before, none of them was less "man, these sexy roads, ugh, leadin' me to Boner Lane" and more "man, these roads smell good and feel nice". Not much about the human responses, just overwrought description of particular objects. I don't like writing about things of sexual nature. 2) Romantic fiction. I haven't been able to write a single romantic story, nay, scene without reeling due to its cheesiness. It's just like when I try to write something affectionate, I automatically think of it as those soap opera-level of romantic proclamations. I don't like writing romance. 3) Something dark but realistic. Because reality is dark, man, and people just can't get along. And there's plenty of bad stuff like poverty, religious strife and sexy roads that I just never want to face or include in my writing. At best I can do angst. I don't like writing realistic dark stories. I'm going to need your help, judges. I can't decide which boundaries of the box to confront. Please advise. Fanky Malloons posted:Greetings fellow cretins. It appears I have finally been able break free of the shadow of my own mediocrity and regain the Thunderdome crown. Dear Judge Malloons, Submitted here to you are two sentences in which you have committed an error each. This is unfitting for a Judge (especially of your swole) and it would be expected of you to fix these mistakes pronto. Thank you.
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Jan 2, 2013 06:08
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toanoradian posted:You know what, I'm indecisive. There are three areas in which I had never written about : You're going to write a dark sensual realistic romantic erotica. You will concentrate on the details and objects that make you hot and bothered. If you write porn I will disqualify you, it must be erotica. Your story must also include the noblest of birds. The secretary bird. 
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Jan 2, 2013 06:52
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HiddenGecko posted:You're going to write a dark sensual realistic romantic erotica. You will concentrate on the details and objects that make you hot and bothered. If you write porn I will disqualify you, it must be erotica. Your story must also include the noblest of birds. The secretary bird. Three questions: 1) How much role does the bird need to have? Can I just say "I've killed a secretary bird so my lil' birdie could rise" or does the bird need more? 2) Porn is different from erotica? I thought the former is just a 'classier' way of referring to the latter. 3) why are you doing this to me
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Jan 2, 2013 07:06
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toanoradian posted:Three questions: 1) Do what you want with that bird but understand it will weigh HEAVILY in my final judging on how you use that bird. I wanna be enthralled by that secretary bird. 2)  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotica 3) I'M ONLY GIVING YOU WHAT YOU ASKED FOR. 
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Jan 2, 2013 07:10
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I'm new and would like to participate. Could use a nudge/bird in the right direction, though. I usually write dark, 'realist' sci-fi/fantasy. Current WIP is a post-apoc horror. I have also written a bunch of parodies of a particular lit fic author whose specialty is nostalgic hokum, so that sort of thing might be too easy. Instructions please!
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Jan 2, 2013 07:22
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Not in because I doubt I'll even be in a place with internet when the deadline hits, but here are some crits. Sort of. Twinkle Cave - There's a dog and a vest and I guess the woman had synaesthesia. Is she the dog? I wasn't sure if it was a twist of her turning into a dog, or of her being weird and putting a vest on a dog. Unfortunately for me the dialogue was not compelling enough to distract me from the fact that your plot is (I think) a woman borrowing a vest and putting it on a dog. Fell Fire - There's a guy who gets murdered by either his brother or just an old friend I dunno while sitting in a chair. I kind of liked it, the polite conversation while one of them is about to strangle the other, while done frequently, is still pretty effective. Was confused because the other guy asks what a blind man sees but I didn't think he was blind, because he said he was blinded only for a moment, so that bit's kind of weird I dunno. Martello - Poker with Squinty McFarlane. I liked this one a whole lot and it was actually my pick for the best one. The dialogue kept it moving nicely and the Tommy guy comes across as the kind of person richly deserving of the beating he receives at the end of it, so that was kind of satisfying as well. SurreptitiousMuffin - There were a bunch of words in that piece that Captain Archibald Haddock would never say, and I think you know it. Also my flash rule said nothing about not being allowed to have an actual story around your insult. So. You should've added a story to it. (And yes, if I had my way you would be losertared up.)Fanky Malloons - For a story in which a woman stares into a mirror and holds onto a sink, this one did a really good job of making us care about her, and somehow the exposition worked really well. Even though not much seemed to happen, the act of successfully holding onto a sink was somehow a greater accomplishment than anything done by any of the other characters this week, which is why you won I guess. The narrative style was also effective in that it seemed to echo the character's detachment from herself. (Presumably that was the point, right?) Noah - Some woman talks to a doctor who clearly doesn't know what synaesthesia or whatever is. On a side note, synaesthesia was just used as an example of someone's senses working in a way other than usual, you didn't all have to pick it. But anyway not much happened in this story except there was a bit where she didn't want to talk to her dad and I was all like what is this I don't get it. Beezle Bug - I actually didn't mind this, blame the other guys for you being the loser. I kind of get what they say about cliched language, but cliches don't become such from lack of use so it kind of makes sense for people to say it. Oh also I was briefly confused by the lack of a clear line break before "I love you too." Sebmojo - I was a bit confused by what happened at the end here. Some guy's just humming a tune and his girlfriend suddenly leaves I guess, that didn't make much sense. I didn't figure it could really have been a difference in music opinion because didn't they meet by her going to his gig and knowing his songs well enough to tell him to delay, whatever that even means? Oh also you said some hurtful words about Mariah Carey, and I think maybe someone needs a time out to think about how sometimes, words can hurt. (Also you basically failed my flash rule by doing this.) It's a shame because apart from these two things it seemed like a pretty solid story. Bad Seafood - A blind guy goes to his dad's party. I thought this one was all right, it was kind of aimless but it did a decent job of exploring the relationships between some of the characters so I thought it was pretty OK. Toanoradian - Some story about a weird artist. Nothing really happens in this story. The dialogue is really heavy on the exposition, making it feel like in gangster movies where the big bad guy says 'Now, you all know the plan, but I'm going to go over it once more just in case one of you knuckleheads missed it.' It feels heavy handed. Also you swapped tenses a number of times so I hate it. Dromer - A relatively well researched and touching piece that made good use of the flash rule. Having said that, there were a number of errors. "Alan spun the top, and, after clattering on the wood floor, cam to rest on the נ, the nun." Sounds like Alan is the one coming to rest. Except that he cam rather than came. Also, need proper line breaks. Also, 'unnknowing', you gotta fix those ones. And the tense is weird in that sentence. But yeah, fix up those errors and yours could've been in contention, except that Fanky's was still better. Peel - I thought it was pretty solid and I did manage to work out that he was being shoved across whatever by a bunch of jerks who wanted to kill and eat him or whatever, but I agree that you would've done well to give us a tiny bit more exposition. Benagain - Beeeeeards. I liked the use you made of this flash rule by having a bearded lady and a bearded cat. I couldn't find the third pun, but I enjoyed the awfulness of the two (camel, Jung) that I did spot. Also, [Bibletalk] looked up the verse our protagonist had tattooed on her, and while it was a clever reference I'll just mention that the passage in question is not actually about tattoos. [/Bibletalk] Anyway all things considered (including the fact that you missed the initial deadline) this was a fairly enjoyable story. Sitting Here - Kwanzaa. I am conflicted. On the one hand this was the last submission, submitted after the deadline, and unable to satisfy the final flash rule. On the other hand, it was probably one of my favourite stories to read. The puns were very enjoyable and the well meaning but daft Whitney is a fun character to observe. So despite your flash rule and deadline failure, I couldn't place you amongst my list of losers. OK well that's me for a few weeks, I'll probably be around for a couple of days to tell you I hate your stories and tell Sebmojo what a monster he is for the vulgar phrase used to describe Mariah Carey - who has five Grammy Awards, 17 World Music Awards, 11 American Music Awards, and 31 Billboard Music Awards, Sebmojo - how many do you have? - but I'm out of the story writing until I get a reliable connection at my new place. And a new place.
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Jan 2, 2013 08:00
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Yissss. I am the loserwinner king. I'm thinking the thread's getting pretty long and after this week, it might be a good idea to launch Thunderdome 2.0. We can post the new crit stuff in the OP and make everything a bit tidier with a long-range sorta thing. Thoughts?
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Jan 2, 2013 08:04
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:I'm thinking the thread's getting pretty long and after this week, it might be a good idea to launch Thunderdome 2.0. We can post the new crit stuff in the OP and make everything a bit tidier with a long-range sorta thing. The candidates for Archivist of Thunderdome (me and
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Jan 2, 2013 08:22
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STONE OF MADNESS posted:I'm new and would like to participate. Fanky Malloons posted:To that end, you have to tell me what new thing you're planning to try out in your sign up post. I don't need to know what you're going to write about or any plot points, just give me 10-20 words (or less) about how you plan to experiment with your entry. For example, you could just say "I'm in, and I'm going to attempt magical realism." I'm going to let you try again since you're new in these here parts.  If you haven't decided what your fate is by the next time you post I'll see if Fanky can cure your bellyaching.
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Jan 2, 2013 10:52
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Fair cop. Ok, I'm in, I'll go for upbeat, lite historical romance, and because I wanted a bird (dammit) I'm going to work in... plovers.
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Jan 2, 2013 11:07
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I'm up for this. Also, hello! I normally write sci-fi/slightly non-realist adventures in which a plucky, likeable underdog comes good. For this, I'll go for horror. With an unlikeable protagonist.
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Jan 2, 2013 13:41
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I'm in. I have never written any sci-fi, so I'll go with that. I'll also write the story in small paragraphs/fragments to make the whole experience even more unusual for me.
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Jan 2, 2013 14:55
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So much new blood, yessss toanoradian posted:The candidates for Archivist of Thunderdome (me and For pointing out my errors and then posting this sentence, your story is now required to contain a character who experiences crushing poverty in their everyday life, and someone who uses their religious beliefs to justify their actions (these may be the same person, or separate characters). Also the secretary bird is not allowed to die.  Symptomless Coma posted:For this, I'll go for horror. With an unlikeable protagonist. I like this idea, but I'm going to rule that your unlikeable protagonist must be believeable. I don't want comic-levels of evilness, ineptitude, whining or whathaveyou.
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Jan 2, 2013 15:55
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