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The Fountain and the Barrels The Tavern is the only place in town with the lights still on. At the bar and at the few tables, only one thing seems to be on everyone's mind. "Have you seen the Fountain?" "Have you tasted the water? I've never had anything like it. It drives the thirst away and cools you right to your bones. I feel like I can walk a thousand miles in the desert after drinking that water!" "How far away is it?" "I don't care! I want to see the Fountain!" "I want to taste the Fountain." "Let's go! Tomorrow at first light!" The bar and tables slowly empty and beds are filled for the night. However, very little sleep is had by anyone. The Fountain is more than just water, they say. The Fountain is magic. But who believes in magic anymore? Everyone has a reason for visiting the Fountain. Some people are just thirsty, while others believe the water can cure just about any sickness. These aren't just crazy tales, though. Well known people; Judges, ShopKeeps, Blacksmiths, Carpenters have been known to travel to the fountain with a weeping eye or a broken leg or withered hand. They come back fully healed. I know it's hard to believe, and I wouldn't have believed it myself except for my Momma. You see, Pop was killed a few years back, and it's just been Momma and I for the longest time. That is until that bear ambushed her. Hurt her pretty bad. I'll never forget the look on the Doctor's face when he saw what that bear did to her. I'd heard about the fountain, of course. Who hasn't? I knew that if I was going to save Momma, it had to be soon. Now, the interesting thing about the water is that you can take it with you. Most people make a pilgrimage, but Momma was too hurt for me to take her on horseback, so I rode as fast as I could, as far as I could, in a day. I filled my bladder with that water and almost killed my horse on the way back. A drink of water saved him, too. Brink of dehydration and one sip of that water was enough for the last hundred miles. I cried when Momma opened her eyes. First time in weeks too. She brushed my tears away with a shaking hand and a smile. But that water was amazing. A few more sips, a couple more days of rest and Momma was her old self again. You couldn't even tell where the bear had hit her. Today I was going to bring back some extra water, but what I saw when I got to the fountain left me mighty confused, and a little angry. A long time ago, in a faraway land, was a great fountain of pure delicious water. It never ran out and gave itself freely to all who came to partake. One day a group of men and women came to the fountain. They were richly dressed. They chased all the other people away. These richly dressed people had brought huge barrels with them. They filled each barrel with water from the fountain. When all these people were finished filling their barrels, they stopped the fountain up and built a high wall around the fountain. The richly dressed men and women began to sell the water in their barrels to all who came looking for the fountain. The water in all the barrels began to lose its freshness. Sticks, leaves and dirt would sometimes fall into the barrels, spoiling the taste. But the people had no other source of water and so they continued to buy the filthy water from the richly dressed people. The water became so disgusting that the richly dressed people had to make up new ways to convince people to buy it. Some of the water sellers hired minstrels to play enticing music. Some had attractive people hawking the water and some had baser compensations. The people became very sick. But they still came to buy the water in the barrels. Watching his family and friends suffer, a young man began to think that there must be something better. This young man remembered that there used to be a fountain of pure delicious water. He thought about where it might be and how to get some of the water. He spoke to his family and friends about his idea. Some laughed at him, some became angry, but a select few thought that the young man was right. So the young man and his friends went searching for the fountain. When the water sellers found out what the young man and his friends were doing, the water sellers cruelly mocked them. They used every resource to make fun of the young man and his friends so that they would not continue their search. But the opposition just made the young man more determined to find the fountain and he searched even harder. Finally, the young man and his friends came to the gigantic wall where the fountain was sealed up. A corner of the wall had rotted away and the young man was able to widen the crack and crawl through. He had found the fountain! As the young man unstopped the fountain, the pressure that had built up over the years was so great that when the water came, it knocked the walls down and water gushed out all over the town center. The water sellers came running at the sound and were horrified to find the fountain gushing forth again. They grabbed the young man and murdered him at the foot of his friends. But they could not stop the fountain up again. It was too powerful. The ground was so wet that new walls could not be raised. The young mans friends were true friends. They promised to freely share the water from the fountain with all who would partake. But this was easier said than done. So many people were used to the taste of the water in the barrels that they would not partake. The clear water looked strange, they said. It must taste bad, some said. Some drank of the clear water, but were mocked by their friends and so went back to drinking from the barrels. But a select few partook of the clear water gladly and shared it freely with their friends and family. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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| # ? Aug 15, 2012 04:01 |
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| # ? May 22, 2013 06:24 |
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From the other thread you posted today:SurreptitiousMuffin posted:Considering how you acted the last time I gave crit, you'll understand if I'm not eager to dive in and help. What the hell though, I'm having a good day and if you're willing to spend time writing, I'm willing to spend time writing crit. But that's too hard, right? That would actually require effort. gently caress it, you say, you're just going to decide to write lovely parables and post another OP without even showing you've taken any advice given to you, without even attempting to revise the other two threads you shat out. You may enjoy writing these, but I can assure you, no-one enjoys reading your sophomoric ramblings that are like, so deep, man. It doesn't help that you write like you're talking down to a three year old. So, you're just going to rapid fire diarrhea all over CC until someone tells you how to write a loving story. Oh wait, you no good at taking advice. So I guess you're just jumping up and down like a child in a ball pen yelling, "Look at me, look at me!" 
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| # ? Aug 15, 2012 04:50 |
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Stuporstar posted:From the other thread you posted today: It takes time to change an attitude and hone writing skills. It's obvious that this is going to take many years of practice. It's also obvious that I have little skill in this area. Thanks for your feedback, I won't waste anymore of your time.
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| # ? Aug 15, 2012 05:27 |
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tango alpha delta posted:It takes time to change an attitude and hone writing skills. It's obvious that this is going to take many years of practice. It's also obvious that I have little skill in this area. Thanks for your feedback, I won't waste anymore of your time. (Read this in the calm, soothing voice of a caring therapist you have hidden feelings for. Regards, N. Rx.) Please understand that, normally, I'd be flaming your rear end for whatever the hell you think you're doing in CC right now, but I believe I broke my rage sphincter on Jabrosky and leaked out all my bile, so a proper care-post is the most demeaning thing I can muster presently. This continued "oh, guys, I am rolling with the punches so well" style of response is bullshit and wastes our time as well as yours. This piece you wrote is short and fitting for the Fiction Farm, and your posting a thread for it along with another appears to be a cry for attention. You consistently refuse to honestly acknowledge criticism by going "Thank you!" and then completely ignoring any advice offered, hence the negative reactions towards your posting. The closest you've come to accepting and working on criticism was your tragically unfunny post where you redid your story in a childish manner. You even found fit to add the "I won't waste any more of your time" stupidity to this post, and that expresses a complete and focused desire on just being defiant and anti-social for its own sake. Nothing of value, by any construable means, was added by doing that. Your following behavior has been in that same form. I would ask, kindly, that you identify then pursue a mode of egress until that time you would actually like to interact with the community, in a meaningful way, that you have chosen to communicate with.
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| # ? Aug 15, 2012 05:44 |
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Shorter pieces like this belong in the fiction farm. Noone minds if it's 530 words instead of 500 and people are a bit nicer if you post there instead of making your own thread.
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| # ? Aug 15, 2012 06:02 |
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Nautatrol Rx posted:(Read this in the calm, soothing voice of a caring therapist you have hidden feelings for. Regards, N. Rx.) I just rewrote part of my first story, trying my hand at dialogue. Hell, I've started rewriting all three of my stories. I thought that it was OK to make a thread for 600+ word stories in the main section. I missed the Fiction Farm thread completely. Can you please move my stories to the Fiction Farm thread?
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| # ? Aug 15, 2012 06:16 |
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:Shorter pieces like this belong in the fiction farm. Noone minds if it's 530 words instead of 500 and people are a bit nicer if you post there instead of making your own thread. Thanks! I'm Canadian, so when I say Thank You, I mean Thank You. No sarcasm intended! It's challenging to write dialogue, let alone half decent dialogue, but I'll keep practicing.
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| # ? Aug 15, 2012 06:44 |
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| # ? May 22, 2013 06:24 |
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tango alpha delta posted:Can you please move my stories to the Fiction Farm thread? Yeah, hold on and let me find my wheelbarrow and shovel. It's not a pleasant process, but sometimes dropping a load of fertilizer can be healthy for the crops. (do you see a star by my name? Do it yerself, boss)
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| # ? Aug 15, 2012 14:46 |
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