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oops
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| # ? Sep 18, 2012 17:41 |
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| # ? May 23, 2013 21:10 |
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On the bottom left, below your avatar next to timestamp, there's a # and ? link. The url in the # link goes directly to your post.
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| # ? Sep 18, 2012 17:51 |
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air- posted:On the bottom left, below your avatar next to timestamp, there's a # and ? link. The url in the # link goes directly to your post. No way! I always wondered what that was. Thanks!! 
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| # ? Sep 18, 2012 17:53 |
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^^^  You fuckers are fast.
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| # ? Sep 18, 2012 17:53 |
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AssassinPrincess posted:No way! I always wondered what that was. Thanks!! Yup  Oh and if you were curious, clicking the ? takes you to every post made by that poster on the specific thread.
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| # ? Sep 18, 2012 17:59 |
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Katana Gomai posted:Loving this thread and just for the record, if you linked every new story post you made here on your Twitter (with a short description) it would go viral in no time. I just took your advice, thanks! I hope I did it right. air- posted:Yup Man, I'm learning something new EVERY DAY!
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| # ? Sep 18, 2012 18:05 |
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I suggest you use a URL shortener if you're going to post SA links on Twitter. Your Twitter client should have such a thing, but it apparently doesn't. Popular options: Google's goo.gl TinyURL bit.ly
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| # ? Sep 18, 2012 19:13 |
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daggerdragon posted:I suggest you use a URL shortener if you're going to post SA links on Twitter. Your Twitter client should have such a thing, but it apparently doesn't. Now see, I knew I'd do it wrong somehow :P edit: here is my updated twitter! : https://twitter.com/AssassinSparkle AssassinPrincess fucked around with this message at Sep 18, 2012 around 21:48 |
| # ? Sep 18, 2012 19:17 |
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e. d'oh, new page. I am so late to the party ~*sparkle sparkle*~
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| # ? Sep 18, 2012 21:16 |
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Cliff posted:e. d'oh, new page. I am so late to the party ~*sparkle sparkle*~ I want *sparkle sparkle* to somehow be my ringtone. I want those two words to announce me every time I walk into the KFC down the street. 
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| # ? Sep 18, 2012 21:49 |
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AssassinPrincess posted:I want *sparkle sparkle* to somehow be my ringtone. I want those two words to announce me every time I walk into the KFC down the street. Try one of these bad boys. You might need to take 'em into an audio editor and increase the volume.
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| # ? Sep 18, 2012 22:26 |
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Bongo Bill posted:Try one of these bad boys. That third one has my name ALL OVER IT. Thanks! I think I have another party coming up this weekend, in the morning. I kind of want to do it, come home, get trashed and record a drunken princess rant.
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| # ? Sep 19, 2012 00:29 |
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I think some audio(video?) of some plastered princess panache would be hilarious. Bonus points if you edit in the *sparkle sparkle* when appropriate.
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| # ? Sep 19, 2012 01:23 |
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In celebration of the anniversary of the Occupy NY thing you could complain about protestors outside your castle. Also, next party: 
Captain Capacitor fucked around with this message at Sep 19, 2012 around 03:37 |
| # ? Sep 19, 2012 02:40 |
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Dear lord I would LOVE to do this! I'm a huge cosplay dork and want nothing more than a huge poofy Cindy dress right now. Unfortunately I don't really have the build for "G-Rated Princess"... I stick to more adult-appropriate costumes for cons, (either scary or BAM, CLEAVAGE) as it's what I'm most accurate as. Still, every once in a while a little kid comes up wanting a picture and I feel kind of bad because I'm dressed like a video game/comic book heroine which usually means T&A. Of course I take the picture anyways. It does get unsettling for everyone when a creepy single dad asks for me to take a picture with his kid, who obviously A) Has no idea who the hell Morrigan from Darkstalkers is, and B) Does not care. Would love to hear more insane rich parent stories. Amazing thread! 
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| # ? Sep 19, 2012 03:00 |
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AssassinPrincess posted:edit: here is my updated twitter! : https://twitter.com/AssassinSparkle Good for you! Now force everyone and their dog to retweet you a million times, get published, get rich and send 3% my way or I will bust your sparklin' kneecaps! 
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| # ? Sep 19, 2012 04:26 |
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Katana Gomai posted:Good for you! Now force everyone and their dog to retweet you a million times, get published, get rich and send 3% my way or I will bust your sparklin' kneecaps! You know it, bro.  You'll get whatever 3% of a dollar seventy-five is!
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| # ? Sep 19, 2012 16:11 |
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AssassinPrincess posted:I think I have another party coming up this weekend, in the morning. I kind of want to do it, come home, get trashed and record a drunken princess rant. The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask / Tell > Ask Me About Being A Birthday Party Princess: My Drunk Princess special episode. Cinderella loves scotch (and scotch loves her)
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| # ? Sep 19, 2012 16:24 |
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air- posted:The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask / Tell > Ask Me About Being A Birthday Party Princess: My Drunk Princess special episode. Cinderella loves scotch (and scotch loves her) My Little Princess: Vodka is Magic I actually don't often drink, even at parties. I'm of the opinion that alcohol is bad for one's complexion. But every so often (read: about every two to three months) I will have a drink. And that drink is always several drinks. And those several drinks are always flavored vodka.
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| # ? Sep 19, 2012 17:11 |
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My Little Princess: Vodka is Magic Awesome. BTW, last night I had an anxiety dream about being a party princess who was late to the party and couldn't find part of her costume. I blame you and your sparkly splashdown in the primordial ooze of my subconsciousness. Edit: Okay, HTML is not BBcode.
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| # ? Sep 19, 2012 19:22 |
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Arrr I forgot to be mentionin', it's talk Like A Pirate Day. Why be thar no Talk Like A Princess Day? A-sparkle sparkle, matey.
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| # ? Sep 19, 2012 20:24 |
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What is a pirate princess' favorite activity? sparrrrrrrrrrrrrkling
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| # ? Sep 19, 2012 20:39 |
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Holy poo poo, this thread is the best loving thing I've read in ages. As someone who works in costumey stuff for a portion of the year, this is so awesome. Living the dream. The Sparkly Dream.
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| # ? Sep 19, 2012 21:16 |
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*Cracks Knuckles* "Time to get sparklin."
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| # ? Sep 20, 2012 14:52 |
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Nessa posted:Okay, these are really hastily drawn with colour slapped onto them. I'm sure Assassin Princess could redraw them in the proper Disney style. These are pretty drat awesome, but I'd love to see renditions of the actual Spiderman &co dressed up as pretty pretty princesses.
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| # ? Sep 20, 2012 19:08 |
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EVG posted:These are pretty drat awesome, but I'd love to see renditions of the actual Spiderman &co dressed up as pretty pretty princesses. That's dangerously close to weird fanart territory.
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| # ? Sep 20, 2012 19:24 |
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Charmmi posted:That's dangerously close to weird fanart territory. Well, what's the matter with that? 
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| # ? Sep 20, 2012 21:36 |
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Thought I'd just post up a funny thing I was mulling over right now. (I'm writing up a book proposal about this whole princess thing, so excuse me while I gather my thoughts and throw them out haphazardly at this thread.) I was just thinking about how much I love Mae West. Not just because she's sassy and totally hilarious, wrote all her own best lines, was very supportive of the gay community and looked damned fabulous every day. She's my hero because she started her movie career when she was 38 years old. At an age when women were bowing out of the hot heroine role and into the spinsters-and-aunts roles, she was just getting started. She was out there stealing work away from starlets half her age, and it was great. We share the same kind of sarcastic sense of humor and innuendo and she's one of my most influential role models. I've always been worried about my age and growing older, and this job sure doesn't help. I'm going to be 31 next month, and that's insanely old for a party princess. It's rare for a princess to be over 22, let alone plowing head-first into her 30's. Most party princesses get the job in high school and give it up when they go away to college. Being on the books with a bunch of fresh-faced young girls is tough for me, real tough. People assure me all the time that I don't look my age, but how long will that last? One of the most consistent questions I get from people is "What will you do when you're too old for this job?" I'm not so much worried about that as what my BOSS will say when I reach that age. Maybe she'll just quietly stop booking me for gigs and lie to my face about business being slow until I take the hint. That would be way harsh. I mean even discounting how I LOOK, I have nothing in common with the other girls. We talk sometimes while we're in the van or on the job and it's pleasant water-cooler talk, but I can't honestly connect with girls who are literally half my age. The last time we all had a big event to do in the spring, the topic of conversation was which colleges everyone had applied for. I graduated almost ten years ago, so I didn't have much to say on that. I'm a cane-shaking old lady compared to these kids. The funniest thing that I heard on the way to a job was when I mentioned something obscure and the other princess didn't get it. I said, "Oh, well, you wouldn't get it, I mean it's from back when I was a kid. We didn't even have the internet back then." Her eyes went wide as saucers. "How old ARE you?" she breathed. "Uh...30?" I replied, giving her what I hoped was a weird look and not an angry crazy look. "Oh my god!" she said. "Wow, you like...you don't look 30. Like seriously you don't. Like I never would've guessed you were, you know, OLD and stuff." "Thanks," I said, giving a legit angry crazy look. I once gave a twenty-minute lecture in the car to two young princesses on how tanning is actually NOT GOOD FOR YOUR SKIN. I'm the palest person this side of albino, so I use a super-gentle tanner/moisturizer that I layer, to avoid the Jersey Shore orange look. I still look pale, but I look like what my boss calls "a pretty, delicate complexion", as opposed to my natural color, which I think L'Oreal markets as Extra-Light Ghoulish Spectre. Anyway, self-tanner good, regular tans BAD. Seriously, do they even teach this in school? Because these girls weren't stupid, but they seemed shocked that tanning causes wrinkles and melanoma later in life. "But I really LIKE to tan!" one girl protested, after I explained the phenomenon of tanning bed addiction. "You wanna look like a wallet made from the corpse of Roy Scheider?" I countered. "Who's that?" "No one. Stop tanning." It should be noted that I take obsessive care of my skin. I've researched and acquired every thoroughly tested and reputable age-defying product known to man. I know the value of olive oil and sugar scrubs and retinol. I sleep on my back to prevent sleep lines becoming wrinkles on my face, I have a year-round humidifier by my bed and my dermatologist is on speed dial. Maybe this is why I don't look my age, I don't know. I have a fanatical nightly and morning skin regime, I wear 75 SPF sunscreen and shades everywhere, I don't spend more than 20 minutes in direct sunlight at any given time and I drink water like I'm some kind of reverse inner-city fireplug in July. I also sleep with a satin pillowcase (cotton is soooo bad for your skin). Satin pillowcases came up in that car conversation as well. I could see my boss taking mental notes about it. So when a 16-year old girl tells me she just likes to tan for long hours cuz it's fun, cartoon steam comes out my ears and my brain explodes inside my skull. I don't want to get a reputation as that crazy-old princess who's always lecturing everyone and yelling at them to stay in school, but being around gaggles of teenagers does to me what even being around gaggles of 5 year olds can't do. It makes me feel old. But then I think of Mae West, and how utterly badass she was, and I resolve to be more like her. And then I remember something else, too. One client told me about a party princess who has an all-in-one business (she owns the business and is the sole princess in it, renting herself out as different princesses. This is not terribly uncommon). She does it all, plays music, does magic tricks, puppetry, the whole shebang. Best of all, she looks every inch the princess and is beloved by the children of satisfied clients. She's also 15 years older than I am. So whenever I feel down about being the most ancient princess on the books, I remember what Mae West herself once said: "You only live once...but if you do it right, once is enough." But of course the most appropriate Mae West quote for a princess thread is this: "I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."
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| # ? Sep 21, 2012 05:50 |
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That was probably my favourite of your posts so far, you're amazing.
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| # ? Sep 21, 2012 06:56 |
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AssassinPrincess posted:
Thank you for this post. As someone who acts/wants to act professionally and is 27, I often feel like the 18 year olds are nipping at my heels and there are moments where I go 'what the poo poo, how is it I feel old already?!' But gently caress that. Mae West. Mae loving West.
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| # ? Sep 21, 2012 08:52 |
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If you need to warn them against the dangers of tanning, just show them a picture of Hulk Hogan. The man has been a leathery orange goblin for the better part of twenty years now. Also, I feel you on getting old. I'm like you nearing 31 and I recently had to explain to some 20 year old kid that The A-Team movie was actually based on a tv show.
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| # ? Sep 21, 2012 09:12 |
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I once saw a woman in her 50's who was a lifelong tanning addict- she looked like the neighbor lady from Something About Mary, complete with wrinkly cleavage around her obvious breast implants. 
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| # ? Sep 21, 2012 11:23 |
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My youngest sister is the only one whose skin really tans at all, and she loves to lay out in the summer and do tanning beds in the winter. It makes my lily-white body cringe. But hey, she's only had to have one pre-cancerous mole removed, so what's the big deal? She's 21 
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| # ? Sep 21, 2012 11:46 |
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Finally got my princess poster! I must say it is quite nice, thank you for agreeing to send it to Denmark. Looking forward to telling people about where I got it and the story behind it. Never stop sparkling!
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| # ? Sep 21, 2012 12:00 |
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Maybe one day you could switch to being a fairy godmother who runs an etiquette school and teaches children how to sparkle in every day life, how to be polite in the face of people saying you look like trash, how to walk tall like a prince or princess, and how to respect other people even if they're trying to show you their underwear. You would also teach the importance of a good cleansing routine and why everyone should avoid sun-beds like the plague. That would be awesome.
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| # ? Sep 21, 2012 12:32 |
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Someone needs to get those girls to listen to Kurt Vonnegut's Suncreen Speech. WEAR SUNSCREEN.
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| # ? Sep 21, 2012 14:51 |
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To be fair, I don't think 5 year olds are very good at telling how old people are at a certain point. Anybody between 18-39 was pretty much the same to me when I was that young. You've got another 15-20 good years in you, I'm sure! And by that time, I'm sure you'd have a billion ideas of other cool ways to transition what you're doing.
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| # ? Sep 21, 2012 15:06 |
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Nessa posted:Someone needs to get those girls to listen to Kurt Vonnegut's Suncreen Speech. That wasn't Kurt Vonnegut. http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/du.../a/vonnegut.htm
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| # ? Sep 21, 2012 15:41 |
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Ithaqua posted:That wasn't Kurt Vonnegut. haha, was just gonna say that. XD
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| # ? Sep 21, 2012 15:48 |
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| # ? May 23, 2013 21:10 |
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I think you should keep mum about the dangers of tanning. If the younger princesses want to bake themselves until they look like Mickey Rourke in a sparkly dress, let them. Less competition for you. If it comes down to a choice between a princess who is technically old enough to be a queen but doesn't look like it, or a princess who's chronologically 22 but looks like Grandpa Oompa-Loompa in drag, you're going to get the gig. Fascinating topic, by the way. This whole off-brand princessing thing is a world that I knew nothing about until I read this topic.
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| # ? Sep 21, 2012 15:51 |
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