|
I wanted to impress some older kids by riding my bike down a hill really fast. Needless to say I flew off the bike but only got bruised a but and then sauntered off into a stand of trees to hide while they laughed and continued on their way.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 17:42 |
|
|
|
| # ? May 23, 2013 11:13 |
|
|
I remember when I was 4 or 5 I accidentally lit the couch on fire. Planned to blame my sister since it was a giant burnt hole in the couch cushion. Few days later and it never came up. Turns out my mom just assumed my sister did. She didn't find out till a few months ago.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 17:44 |
|
|
Saint Darwin posted:It somehow worked, but jesus christ. Now that I'm older I wish I had liked baseball so I wouldn't be such a lazy rear end in a top hat now. I was all over sports when I was younger and it burnt me out so hard that I spent a large majority of my time completely avoiding anything physical until recently. Double edged sword, I suppose.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 17:45 |
|
|
I ripped a worm into four pieces on my fourth birthday because I heard that if you rip a worm in half it becomes two worms and I wanted four worms. I cried really hard when I was told I probably killed it.  edit: A friend and I used to drop snails off a balcony to crack their shells and turn them into slugs. I had a lot of misconceptions about biology. Rhinoceraptor fucked around with this message at Aug 27, 2012 around 17:51 |
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 17:48 |
|
|
I drank my parents' whole liquor cabinet when I was 15 to deal with general and social anxiety. That's what I told myself I needed it for. I just wanted to get loving shitfaced.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 17:48 |
|
|
I use to masturbate and cum right on the carpet. It dries so it's cool right? I would eventually clean it up with some carpet cleaner and vacuum after the floor got slightly yellow and crusty. Jesus I was a lazy and loving disgusting teenager. edit: Might be a little old for the topic, but I consider being 13 still a kid. SaltLick fucked around with this message at Aug 27, 2012 around 17:52 |
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 17:49 |
|
|
I have a distinct and haunting memory of being no older than 3 or 4 and stomping on frogs on the sidewalk. I would never hurt an animal now, so I have no idea what was wrong with me.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 17:51 |
|
|
In 4th grade, I went to my friend's birthday party at Pizza Hut. She was opening presents, and got an outfit that showed her midriff. Her being chunky, combined with my inability to shut my mouth equaled me blurting "I wouldn't be caught DEAD in that". Luckily, she didn't hear me, but her dad shot me a death glare. Good thing I didn't finish it "if I were you" like I was thinking.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 17:52 |
|
|
I beat a kid up at the bus-stop one day after school. Not horribly bad but enough that he cried and the other kids pulled me off of him. To this day I don't know why I even did it. He was a nice kid. I think I was just in a bad mood that day. I was around 10...I think he was a year younger. Jump 25 years later and my daughter is being taught by his mother in pre-k. I've always had a guilty conscious about the incident so I told her who I was and apologized to her. She then proceeded to tell me that the guy in high school was chased across the highway by some bullies and got hit by a car. He's alive but he's never been the same since (with a lot of mental problems going on). I didn't know what to say other than at that point in time I wanted to run out into said highway too
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:01 |
|
|
BAN DICKEYE posted:I stole a kids gameboy and pokemon yellow cart when i was in 8th grade while everyone was changing for gym. Kid was really broken up crying about it, and I pretended to help him look for it and act like his friend while putting up flyers with a "Reward Promised" on the school's bulletin board. Coach knew what happened I think, but he never said a word and I ended up moving about 2 months later. I still feel kinda bad about it to this day sometimes. Funny, I had my gameboy color and pokemon yellow cart stolen from my gym locker in 8th grade. I'm not even making that up the same drat thing happened to me. I know exactly who did it but what could I do you know? Once he was gone from school it was out of my control. But thats what brings me to this thread, later I was waiting by the door to leave a class. I saw a gameboy color the teacher had taken in another class and I... I took it. I'm just as big of a bastard. Edit: like the worm story, I ripped the legs off a daddy long leg as a kid. They keep twitching so I thought the grew into new bugs or something. BrainDance fucked around with this message at Aug 27, 2012 around 18:10 |
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:08 |
|
|
Shuffle posted:I also brought dog poo poo to school one day and threw it at the principal's car. they never found out it was me. so Mr. Davis I'm sorry, that I only hit your car you rear end. I put dog poo on a heavily used door handle at school. Someone ratted me out and I got in trouble.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:10 |
|
|
I killed my sister's guinea pigs one by one. 
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:15 |
|
|
When I was 10 or 11 (sixth grade where I'm from), we had a new girl in class. I thought she was super cute and she fit in well enough with the cheerleader crowd but for whatever reason she was always messed with, a lot of it coming from me. Being the young perv that I once was I checked out her lower half pretty often to the point that I noticed that she was wearing the same pair of pants that she was the day before. I pointed it out to another kid and she was called "Same Pants" till she started balling her eyes out and went home. The pants weren't dirty or anything, might have been just the same style but a different pair come to think of it. In elementary school we had desks with space to put poo poo and mine was always a loving disaster. We were playing some game that involved switching seats and I ended up in Same Pants' desk and stealing a pencil because I could never find anything in my desk. She noticed it and told the teacher and I played dumb and kept the pencil saying that it was a common looking pencil and it was mine not hers. I lost the pencil like an hour later.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:15 |
|
|
I asked a girl out to prom and then stood her up because I didn't want to get a tux. I'm an rear end in a top hat.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:17 |
|
|
Tight Booty Shorts posted:I killed my sister's guinea pigs one by one. The gently caress? This has to be the worst.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:17 |
|
|
Pukestain Pal posted:I asked a girl out to prom and then stood her up because I didn't want to get a tux. I'm an rear end in a top hat. That's fine. Tux's are loving expensive and stupid.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:18 |
|
|
In middle school I owed this kid like 8 Pokemon cards and he kept nagging me about them, so I drew dicks on all of the Pokemon before I gave them to him.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:20 |
|
|
Drunkboxer posted:That's fine. Tux's are loving expensive and stupid. Oh I know. But I should have probably told her I wasn't going to come and not just leave her sitting at home waiting for me to pick her up for prom.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:21 |
|
|
Drunkboxer posted:That's fine. Tux's are loving expensive and stupid. You sound like somebody who never got invited to a dance, and so you decided to go with the "Things I can't do are stupid anyway" form of self-
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:21 |
|
|
I absolutely hated playing cello when I was younger even though I enjoyed the instrument. I think I just hated being told I HAD to do something, so I did the opposite. I regret that now because my mom and grandparents spent a shitload of money on teaching me how to play, and that's now wasted. Going against the grain, I'm ashamed that I was such a lazy gently caress when I was a kid. I'm lazy now and trying to get my life in order which is now ten times as difficult due to my laziness as a kid.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:25 |
|
|
Bold Robot posted:In middle school I owed this kid like 8 Pokemon cards and he kept nagging me about them, so I drew dicks on all of the Pokemon before I gave them to him. That's loving hysterical, haha. Next time I owe my roommate money I'm doing this. I remember having my collection stolen as a kid though, that sucked Also some of you goons were hosed up kids  I think the worst thing I remember doing, some kids from up the street for some reason came down to my side of the road to play rollerhockey in the street. So they brought their nets and blades and sticks all down and just left them infront of my house when they went to go... where ever. I took the sticks and gear and hid the nets in the forest for some reason. I think I was just trying to show off because I had a friend over. I don't really know what the hell I was thinking. I also called this really nice girl I liked in 5th grade a lesbian because she was looking for her best friend who was, obviously, also a girl Never did learn how to talk to women! edit; ^^Herbicide I know that feeling. Was lazy as hell in middle school / highschool. Senior year in college and I regret having never built any real self motivational skills.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:26 |
|
|
In middle school, my friends and I always made fun of this one kid because we thought he had a speech impediment. Turns out he was just from New Jersey.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:29 |
|
|
When I was in elementary school I accidentally dropped a newborn pinkie gerbil and killed it. I never touched a baby gerbil again after that; it was traumatizing. I am now super nice to all my rodent friends!
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:30 |
|
|
When I was about 6 or 7 I kicked one of my best friends in the nuts as hard as I could for no reason.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:31 |
|
|
Myself and my friend were obsessed with hockey in the 3rd grade. We played on our school's team and shot weighted pucks in his driveway to condition our wrist muscles. In 3rd grade gym, we had these lame, plastic sticks, with straight blades. The pucks were hollow plastic, extremely light weight, yet still extremely solid. The teacher lines up about 50 pucks in the center of the hardwood gym floor. "Ok, the idea of this game is for team 1 to stand on this side, team 2 stands on that side and whoever gets more pucks onto the other team's side wins!" She has us all line up and begins dividing us up into 2 teams. I grab the kid next to me and stick him between myself and my friend. It worked. We stood there flexing the plastic blades to provide them with curve for better shot power. Friend and I had been doing slap shot drills since we were in kindergarten. We had a lot of experience with lining up 3-5 pucks and firing them rapid fire style at a net. We agreed to each take opposite ends of the gymnasium, so we could both start on the outside and meet in the middle. (Completely ignoring anyone else on our team) The plan was too perfect. I shot left handed and he shot right, so I took the right side and he took the left, that way, we'd be shooting down the center. (Had we done the opposite and shot off to the sides/down the walls, I wouldn't be posting this.) The teacher blew the whistle and my friend and I beat everyone to the center of the gym. We rapid-fired pucks to the point that everyone else on our team stood back and let us do our thing. The other team ducked for cover and the coach blew her whistle like crazy. We didn't stop firing till all the pucks were shot. By the time we were done, there were about 4 3rd graders on the ground crying. The coach had to walk one girl to the nurse's office, because one of us knocked out her two front teeth. At the time, I had no idea who she was. Sophomore year in Biology, we were doing introductory facts. The idea was to share something personal about yourself that others might not know. This super cute girl with the prettiest smile gets up, introduces herself and says, "Ok, so I'm super self-conscious about this, but I feel like it will be a big step for me if I just admit it. My front two teeth are fake." As she pops out her front teeth and shows us. By that time, my former friend and I were awkward, "we used to be friends but now we ignore each other" strangers. I've never exchanged more awkward glances with someone in my entire life. ZanderZ fucked around with this message at Aug 27, 2012 around 18:34 |
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:31 |
|
|
Tight Booty Shorts posted:I killed my sister's guinea pigs one by one. I had a friend who lived in Bangladesh until he was in second grade. He told me that he used to put guinea pigs in bags and throw them off the roof of his house because he thought the sound they made was hilarious. My shameful part of the story is that I was jealous that I never got to hear it. SaltLick posted:I use to masturbate and cum right on the carpet. It dries so it's cool right? I would eventually clean it up with some carpet cleaner and vacuum after the floor got slightly yellow and crusty. Jesus I was a lazy and loving disgusting teenager. When I was really young I was afraid to go into the hall at night because I thought there might be some burglar out there, so if I had to go pee I would pee in the heating vent on the floor. I figured it went down a pipe to the same place every other hole in the house went. I don't remember if my parents ever realized or if the room smelt like piss after that, I assume yes on both counts. Edit: hyperhazard posted:In middle school, my friends and I always made fun of this one kid because we thought he had a speech impediment. Turns out he was just from New Jersey. When I was in my first year of high school, there was this guy who played computer games with us during noon hour and he had a really bad lisp. We always used to take jabs at him, even though I myself have a slight lisp (though I've taken speech therapy to get help get rid of it.) Every time someone mentions my lisp I remember that guy and feel like an rear end. Skinny Bins fucked around with this message at Aug 27, 2012 around 18:38 |
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:33 |
|
|
We were pretty broke for a while after my parents divorce and my mom worked three jobs to support all of my brothers and I, and she saved all of her change in a glass milk bottle in her room. When I was around 10 or so I not only stole all of the silver change out of the bottle, but had her drive me to the store so I could buy a Slayer tape with the money. She was really angry and started crying when she figured it out and I cold lied to her face about it and said that it was a different pile of quarters and dimes that I used to buy my tape and I had no idea what she was talking about. It's the worst thing I've ever done in my life and if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go walk in front of a bus now. To be fair I've never forgotten that moment and now 25+ years later I treat my mother like a princess and buy her anything she could ever want for holidays and such, but I'll never atone for that one day that I was an utter bastard to her.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:37 |
|
|
My sisters and I were given some baby ducks for Easter one year and I loved the hell out of them. Every morning I would walk them out of their pen and down to a kiddie pool that they could swim in while I fed them breakfast, little ducks will just follow you all in a line if they're used to you feeding them. I got them down to the pool, but then realized that the water was filthy and decided to refill it so I dumped it out and turned to grab the hose when I accidentally stepped on one of the ducks and squashed it. I've seen some pretty nasty stuff since then, but nothing that I've ever done makes me feel worse than the time I killed that poor duckling. Sorry little guy.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:37 |
|
|
Pukestain Pal posted:I asked a girl out to prom and then stood her up because I didn't want to get a tux. I'm an rear end in a top hat. This makes me really sad. did you ever apologize? (not meaning to give you a hard time, just wondering)edit:All I can picture is a girl who was all ready for her first prom - dress, hair, tiara, the works. Her parents are ready to take photographs and meet her date, but he never comes vvvvvvv oh
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:39 |
|
|
Queen Gnome posted:This makes me really sad Nope, avoided her like she had a terrible disease for the rest of my school career.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:40 |
|
|
Costello Jello posted:You sound like somebody who never got invited to a dance, and so you decided to go with the "Things I can't do are stupid anyway" form of self- No I just hate the scam that is tux rental. The worst part is how many times in life you are forced to do it.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:43 |
|
|
Queen Gnome posted:edit:All I can picture is a girl who was all ready for her first prom - dress, hair, tiara, the works. Her parents are ready to take photographs and meet her date, but he never comes That's pretty much exactly what happened. I feel awful about it...even 15 years later. I don't know what I was thinking.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:45 |
|
|
Just as a general thing, my parents divorced when I was 16, and I lived with my mom while my dad moved out. My mom worked her god drat rear end off, and I did absolutely nothing to help, looking back. Cook dinner? Nope. Do my own laundry? Nah. All I did was borrow her car to go see my girlfriend and not fill the gas back up. I know teenage years are usually pretty selfish times but its something I regret.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:47 |
|
|
When I was in middle school me and three other friends demolished a brand new 3BR/2B mobile home from the inside out. It was parked in the woods next to the owners house, they had bought it as a wedding present for their daughter and had it put in the woods nearby so she wouldn't see it. Me and my friends found it while traipsing through the woods, and after we realized no one was living in it we decided to turn it into a clubhouse. But that quickly spiraled into much worse. We ended up literally gutting it, leaving nothing but the wooden frame intact. It was like locusts descending on a corpse, stripping it bare. We got caught and "arrested" but the owners were forgiving and decided not to press charges and instead just planned to sue our families for damages. Unfortunately, they waited over two years to get around to suing our parents and got denied because of how long ago the incident had been plus the fact that no charges were brought against us. I guess illegally demolishing a house has a statute of limitations. I've always felt incredibly guilty over what I did. Not only did I cost them what I assume was north of 30 grand or so, but I ruined some poor couples wedding gift. I even feel bad that I never got properly punished.  If I ever become filthy rich, one of the first things I'm going to do is track those people down and pay them back.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:53 |
|
|
Oh Lord...when I was...six? I saw some bird poo on our garden table. It had something in the middle which I thought was a prawn. I loved prawns (Still do) and so I scraped that bird poo off the table and ate that thing. I actively repressed this memory until a few years when it just popped back into my head, and I did a mini sick in the back of my throat.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:53 |
|
|
In first grade we had to make a valentine's card/essay. I didn't have a crush on anyone so I wrote something about how much I appreciated my parents. Part of the assignment was to give it to the person you wrote about. Back then I thought my parents made a HUGE deal about every little thing I did, no matter how insignificant (it still affects our relationship now and I'm 25) and so when I got home I hid the card and told my mom not to look in where I hid it. Later on in the year we had to make a Mother's Day card. We had a sub that day and he wrote a really nice poem for us to copy and put in the card if we really wanted to. I made the card, came home and hid it in a different place (in my mom's bookshelf of all places  )I lived with fear of my parents finding both cards and making a big deal until I threw them away years later. I felt terrible guilt but by writing this I don't anymore, I just realized they were stupid elementary school art assignments and that I didn't have to show them to anyone if I didn't want to. Looking back they would have probably just said "Oh, that's nice" and put them away somewhere. Something that still affects me today is that I never learned how to be socially acceptable until I was around 16-17, so until then I said and did countless things that I am ashamed of. I still make mistakes but it's hundreds of times better than it was back then.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 18:59 |
|
|
Throwing a pear at a guy on a bike. My friends ran away and I had to endure yet another scolding. I just remember thinking how funny it would've been had it smashed off his helmet. He almost managed to make me feel bad, but in the end I still believe it would've been amazing and nobody would've gotten hurt. One thing that haunts me for no reason was an event in first grade when I smashed my friend's giant jawbreaker against the gym wall, after finding it buried in the gravel. I mean, it was dirty, right? That's not healthy. He started to cry when he found it out and everything just spiraled out of control. Again, I just had the image in my head of something really glorious, and in reality it was just more problems, people getting angry, and my buddy having a fit. Being stupidly honest, I admitted to it and immediately got in trouble, and felt like a villain for a few days. I didn't get a chance to explain that I basically found it buried in the mud and stones and whatever else ended up in the playground. One awesome thing that school did is ruin my faith in honesty as any sort of best policy. And guilt. I also broke my cousin's arm once when we didn't return to class after recess, though this story is still mildly unbelievable and I honestly think we both returned, her with the broken arm, and the obvious story is that I did something bad. She never hated me about it so I feel like I'm right, but I don't remember much about it anymore. Still, thinking back, it's a shameful moment in an otherwise cool adventure. Once we went on a field trip to a chicken farm and I dropped a chick and it seemed to look up at me and scowl... probably did have a broken leg. I was too scared to say or do anything and just backed out of the barn. Later I realized chickens face much worse in their lives in farms, but that little bird's face seemed to me so rueful that, thinking of it even now, it's a bit shameful. I hope it got to live out its unnatural life and turn into part of a bucket dinner or whatever. I punched another friend in the throat once when I was still a young lad. As you might imagine those friends of mine from my foggy youth who still speak to me are incurably altered by the friendship I offered as a kid. I'm not going to think about this anymore, but it was nice to get these stories out... that loving jawbreaker...
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 19:04 |
|
|
Let's see. -Was a maladusted kid fresh off watching his dad and mom divorce and the former leave the house for good, so I would get very attached to having friends over. One day one of my best friends left as the sun was starting to go down and it was getting close to dinner time, so I followed him home pleading with him to stay. After we got two thirds of the way to his house and he persisted to refuse me, I grabbed him around the throat with both hands and choked him to the ground until he was crying hysterically. Then I ran home and came across his brother halfway back. He asked where his brother was and I told him that another kid in the neighborhood had attacked us and that I was I running home to get help. He ran to his brother while I high tailed it home. When their sisters came knocking I hid in a closet. -After said divorce things went poorly for me socially at school so I was bullied a lot. Years later in middle school I became a bully and proceeded to make fun of several overweight people, including some girls who probably had a crush on my evil fat rear end. I remember one I sat behind in an English class and I would make like I was trying to push her desk forward with my legs, but couldn't. I made all of these exaggerated heaving and ho'ing gestures and faces. Prior to that I made fun of another chunky girl and she just broke down crying and ran from me. I made fun of another and she socked me in the side of my stupid head (I wish I could go back in time and high five her). That one and I ended up in counseling for bullied overweight kids, which is funny ot think about in today's age of bullying awareness. It was kind of like a miniature version of one of those pray the gay away camps built into the middle school's counseling office. Oh, and the girl whose desk I pushed on was seriously cute and I should have asked her out. She talked with the cutest southern belle accent and had an absolutely gorgeous face and was generally well kept. She probably lost all that weight and is fit with a rocking set of titties right now. -When I was very small I would throw clumps of dirt in my sister's eyes while she was forced to play with me in the sandbox by our father, who would force her to pick up crab apples in our back yard, while yelling at her and calling her names, because she never did it fast or good enough. Eventually she went to live with my grandparents, who spirited her away from school one day like she was some foreign political figure getting clandestine asylum in another country. -When I was very young, probably 7 or 8, I was over one of my best friend's cousin's house. A brother and sister from a very poor broken home in the neighborhood were over. The cousin taught the brother ... how to do things with his sister, which it came to light he had been doing for years several years later while we were in middle school. -I put a frog down into a deep cup and filled it with firecrackers, which I lit. His brainds and eyes were hanging out of his head and his exterior was charred black. I think he might have still been alive at that point. -I tried to sabotage my step brother's relationship with his girlfriend (he was 19 or 20 and she was 14 or 15 at the time), because I had had a crush on her and might have dated her had my childhood life not be derailed by said divorce and only having one barely human shut-in parent to care for and raise me. Plus he never would have even met her had my mom not dated and married his father. I was very bitter and still am. The last conversation I had with him was actually in my 20s. I said that he was lucky it didn't work with her, because she was a loose trashy girl (she was), and he very obviously still harbored feelings for her, because we stopped talking shortly thereafter. Those are all I can think of right now. I was a very awful piece of poo poo kid and I'm ashamed of most of my childhood, which was mostly being cloistered inside the house playing videogames and shunning human contact for various reasons.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 19:04 |
|
|
I was taking care of a friends house (taking in their paper, feeding fish-- stuff an 8 year old can do) while they were at the beach. Me and my little brother decided to make a game of seeing how many rocks and pebbles we could throw on top of their neighbors roof (who were also on vacation). It continued even after my friend got back. He even joined in! A week later we get a call from my friend's mom. My friend ratted on me as soon as their neighbors called. I guess in hindsight its probably good that he did. We broke nearly 30 windows, one picture window, a glass patio table, a glass door, dented the roof of this guys new truck, broke said trucks windshield and mirrors. Also, caused extensive water damage. I'm thankful neither they, my friend's family, or my family were in financial straits because we were able to pay for it. My parents made me write them an apology, apologize to their face, help them clean up, and then work to pay my parents back. The worst part of this atonement was that I went to school with one of their children through the rest of elementary school, middle school, and part of highschool and had to look his parents in the eyes everyday that they picked him up
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 19:05 |
|
|
|
| # ? May 23, 2013 11:13 |
|
|
I dated a girl and told her to get my name tattooed on her back. It was supposed to be small but since I knew the tattoo artist I had him take up half her back with my name. I then dumped her the next day. I remember seeing her about a year later at the mall (she didn't see me) and I noticed she tried to cover it up with this ugly blue rose. I feel like poo poo for what I did to her.
|
| # ? Aug 27, 2012 19:10 |
|
