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President Kucinich posted:When I was really young I held a freshly sharpened pencil under my best friend's butt as he took a seat during class. Went to the office for that. Just be glad you were a kid when you were. You'd probably have a couple of felony convictions if you did that as a child today, and maybe a sexual assault charge with it for the ball-punching.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 01:25 |
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| # ? May 25, 2013 21:04 |
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I pointed holding scissors and this idiot walked into them. One time we were playing king of the hill on a slide and I kicked a kid in the teeth to remain king of the hill. I totally won that game. I stole 20$ because it was lying on the floor in my friends house. I gave it back. I feel horrible still. I'd never seen that much money in one place 
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 01:26 |
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In middleschool, there was a kid in my class that had recently immigrated from Ethiopia and didn't have many friends. One day, my friends and I were throwing rocks and skipping them across the basketball courts. One of the rocks that I threw bounced up and smacked him in the forehead. He was understanding about it and wasn't mad at me, but I ran in to him about 8 years later and he still had a big dent in his forehead where that rock hit him. I feel pretty awful about it to this day 
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 01:29 |
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Volume posted:We used to play that game too. Called it the exact same thing. Worst thing I ever did was tell my friend to kick my dog cause he wouldn't get out of the way. The dog bit him and we had to put the dog down. It was all my fault. I haven't ever told anyone. Poor Scruffy. Holy poo poo that must be eating you alive.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 01:30 |
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Cowslips Warren posted:When I was maybe 8 or so, my brother was 6, and we were in the neighborhood park on the seesaw. I remember that our mom wasn't watching us that instant, and I decided to get off the seesaw, since my end was down. I simply stood up and walked away while my brother crashed to the ground. I remember getting spanked pretty hard for that too. So you knew the whole time or at least suspected? Why didn't you say anything, especially when you knew his 'game'? Kids need to know this poo poo. And by 'graduated' you mean grade school right? We don't have that here.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 01:31 |
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Illegibly Eligible posted:Melissa Singer was the class whipping post. I don't even remember why, but as an example of how terrible we all were the big "thing" in grade school was to touch her and then tag someone else while saying "Singer germs, no returns." We all did this right in front of her face for years and years on end. It was nothing personal obviously, but because of her "germs" everyone avoided her like the plague aside from the random run-by tapping so as to put Singer Germs on someone else. It must have been hell for her to go back to school at the end of each summer. If I were you, I would look her up on Facebook and send an apology. I've done this years later, and I've had it done years later to me, and it always feels better after.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 01:37 |
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Darth123123 posted:So you knew the whole time or at least suspected? Why didn't you say anything, especially when you knew his 'game'? Kids need to know this poo poo. And by 'graduated' you mean grade school right? We don't have that here. She didn't post that she was proud she never said something, I don't see what beating her up about it is supposed to accomplish. That whole post made me scared that he was grooming her for the same drat thing.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 01:53 |
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I'm only semi-ashamed of this since it was all in good fun but there was a retarded kid in high school band (call him Zed) and we used to piss off the teacher by telling Zed to yell stuff like "<band teacher's name> smokes weed!" and he would of course obey because he was barely smart enough to know that people will like you if you do what they tell you to. This was just one of many ways we'd antagonize the band teacher. I know it sounds cruel to manipulate retarded kids who don't know any better, but it was really more mean to the band teacher than to Zed. (If you're wondering, Zed was quite competent at keeping a 4/4 beat with the cymbals)
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 01:55 |
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In 4th grade I stole a kid's prized Goosebumps book. I still remember it was Egg Monsters From Mars. At the end of the day the kid couldn't find it and was devastated. Also in that same classroom we had a "prize closet" with a bunch of candy and poo poo in there for rewards. One time I realized it was unlocked and stole like 5 Super Ropes out of there. I'll admit I'm less ashamed of the last one because gently caress Super Ropes were delicious.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 02:01 |
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Illegibly Eligible posted:Melissa Singer was the class whipping post. I don't even remember why, but as an example of how terrible we all were the big "thing" in grade school was to touch her and then tag someone else while saying "Singer germs, no returns." We all did this right in front of her face for years and years on end. It was nothing personal obviously, but because of her "germs" everyone avoided her like the plague aside from the random run-by tapping so as to put Singer Germs on someone else. It must have been hell for her to go back to school at the end of each summer. God I want to go back in time and intervene in your past more than I do my own. I've never felt this way before. That was such a pivotal moment in the grand scheme of right and wrong. I'm sorry, you must feel incredible regret.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 02:02 |
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I shot a bird with a pellet gun once. I know a lot of people have, and a lot of people now shoot even larger things while hunting as adults and obviously think of it as fine, but I felt like crap after it, and then cried. A large part of the guilt was because when I walked over to it it wasn't even dead, I had to shoot it again just to put it out of its misery. It's probably part of the reason why I'm a vegetarian now.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 02:06 |
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Yeet posted:In 4th grade I stole a kid's prized Goosebumps book. I still remember it was Egg Monsters From Mars. At the end of the day the kid couldn't find it and was devastated. Also in that same classroom we had a "prize closet" with a bunch of candy and poo poo in there for rewards. One time I realized it was unlocked and stole like 5 Super Ropes out of there. I'll admit I'm less ashamed of the last one because gently caress Super Ropes were delicious. I remember that the boy thinks the egg aliens are protecting him from the cold of a freezer when they're in fact enveloping and impregnating him, and at the end he lays an egg. You did that kid a favor. I mean, not the kid in the book, he's fictional. The other kid.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 02:11 |
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:In elementary school we were all sitting in a big group on the rug for story time. I accidentally let loose a mighty fart and blamed it on the kid with behavioral problems sitting behind me. Everyone, even the teacher, thought it was him. He threw a massive tantrum and had to be sent home for the day. I found this particularly funny because the exact same thing happened to me, but there was no kid with behavioral problems behind me. Everyone turned around and looked at me and I was just like "what?" and pretended like the whole thing never even happened. Where's my Matt? 
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 02:20 |
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There was a flowerbed near the playground in third grade. I would catch butterflies and rip their wings off. Eventually, I stopped messing with the butterflies and moved on to mutilating bees.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 02:23 |
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ANGRY TEEN posted:God I want to go back in time and intervene in your past more than I do my own. I've never felt this way before. That was such a pivotal moment in the grand scheme of right and wrong. I'm sorry, you must feel incredible regret. Jesus, I'm right there with you. I've done some lovely things in my life, and had some lovely things done to me, but I think given the choice between kicking my child self in the dick and fixing that one pivotal moment I'd take the latter.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 02:25 |
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DamnGlitch posted:She didn't post that she was proud she never said something, I don't see what beating her up about it is supposed to accomplish. Yes, it was grade school, we had some lovely stupid graduation ceremony too that lasted 4 hours. I don't even think the high school one took that long. The kid part of me was sure he was doing something, but the other part realized I had no proof. I didn't have a camera, I couldn't prove it was his truck at her house, and the girl was really popular, so the cynic part of me knew that if I told anyone, everyone would think it was because I hated her and wanted her to get into trouble. You know how kids rationalize things. The real mindfuck came after he left the school; somehow he got a hold of my home address and sent me a letter saying that he had left the elementary school and was off to do theater. Child theater in town. I only got the one letter, and then nothing again. So part of me still wanted to believe that it was all made up lies and he'd never do poo poo like that. But after working with a probation officer for sex offenders, yeah, I know otherwise. I have no idea how he got my home address. I sure as poo poo never wrote him anything, so the only way he could have is if he snooped in the files in the registration office.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 02:25 |
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When I was in early High School, a teacher of mine was pregnant. I was also heavily into the Cyanide and Happiness webcomic. My attempt at humour was not well received.  In case you were wondering: New baby? Celebratory punch  
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 02:27 |
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When I was a real young kid, I had just mastered walking, and decided to pick my cat, Tabby, up by her hindlegs and spin. She didn't like that one bit, but luckily I was still basically a toddler and I fell over and she escaped. I also used to demonstrate to my friends how she had no feeling in her tail (She got hit by a car and never regained feeling in the upper half) by squeezing it rather hard. She had a good life however, she died in my arms last year, throwing up on me in the process. Both my cats have died in my arms, but I couldn't just leave them to go out alone. Tom's (her brother) seizures as he died the year earlier had been the worst, just drooling and mewling as he flounced around on my lap. I probably should have gotten them put down, but I always deluded myself into thinking "They're just sick" and believing the vets when they say "oh no, we probably can save her if you do expensive treatment X" The only other thing I feel real guilty about was when I was 12 years old. Me, my friend Barry and his kid brother Chris would go on holiday together to a caravan site in wales, with my mum. We didn't have much to do there, but me and Ben where a year or two older than most other kids and where pretty popular. There was another kid, Travis, who was annoying. He was fat, and liked to brag and tell lies, but he didn't deserve what we did to him. We where playing a game of cops and robbers, and Barry decided I should provoke a fight with Travis so we could all beat him up. I started purposely catching his legs and being rough with him until he got pissed off and pushed me. I kicked him in the leg and pushed him over, and then Barry and his brother started kicking him whilst he was on the floor. I ran away and distracted Travis brother so he wouldn't know what we where doing. Travis was crying his eyes out and we got all the other kids to laugh at him for being a baby and crying because of Cops and Robbers. He had tons of bruises the next day from my aggressive playing and Barry and Chris's kicks. I got bullied alot, and it only stopped when my parents got divorced and the bullies eased off me, so I should have known what it felt like to be beaten up and teased, but I did it anyway. Justifying it that Travis was a fat lying annoying kid, but he didn't deserve that, even if he was annoying. EDIT: Thought of one more. Me and Barry used to shoot BB bullets at Chris as he bounced on a trampoline, telling him it was a game and we where training him to fight and be tough like Barry. He believed us, but we never swapped and let him shoot BBs at either of us whilst we tried to dodge them on the trampoline. d3c0y2 fucked around with this message at Aug 28, 2012 around 02:32 |
| # ? Aug 28, 2012 02:28 |
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I was getting a testicle exam at the of 6 or 7 when I got an erection. She, the doctor, didn't say anything or look at me until I tensed my muscles and performed a 'flap'. I still remember the look on her face and I still feel bad about it.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 02:36 |
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The Worst Muslim posted:When I was in early High School, a teacher of mine was pregnant. I was also heavily into the Cyanide and Happiness webcomic. My attempt at humour was not well received. Oh god. Highschool. I can't remember for the life of me what the assignment was, but I was and still am a big Penny Arcade fan (I started reading their first year). Anyway, whatever the assignment was (it involved sharing with the class), I thought it would be a good idea to print off the series of comics about the vapomatic Phantom and... read them aloud. I was cracking up halfway through one of them and I looked up to see the mirth everyone else surely must be feeling and got the blank incredulous stares of 30 other 12th graders and one highschool english teacher. Really, more intense embarrassment than some awful thing that I did but still. durr. (the comic in question: http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/01/22)
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 02:39 |
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BaconBits posted:I was getting a testicle exam at the of 6 or 7 when I got an erection. She, the doctor, didn't say anything or look at me until I tensed my muscles and performed a 'flap'. I still remember the look on her face and I still feel bad about it. This really doesn't seem like something you should feel bad about.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 02:42 |
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I beat up a kid two years younger than me... well. I punched him in the face good and hard, then threw him into a snowbank. I had a pretty poo poo home life and took a lot of punches of my own, but that's no excuse. He was just a pain in my rear end, his brother was a jerk, and I had had enough of them stealing my flute case. So Brady Brodigan, if you ever read this, I'm sorry. You too, Larry.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 02:56 |
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When I was five years old I told my father that I had a secret for him. Being a kindly man, he bent down so I could whisper it to him in confidence. When his ear was right beside my mouth I screamed as hard as I could. I have very few regrets in this life, but I still feel bad about it to this day because I was deliberately wicked towards a gentle and innocent man. Miguel Angel Face fucked around with this message at Aug 28, 2012 around 03:09 |
| # ? Aug 28, 2012 03:06 |
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Sepist posted:This girl I had a crush on in 5th grade asked me how much I liked her on a scale of 1 - 10, I told her a 3, she ran home crying. Now she's an insanely hot model If it comforts you any, she probably developed an eating disorder after your critique and went into modeling to validate herself as a person, so you could commend yourself on contributing to her success.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 03:08 |
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One of the worst things I feel about was having my dad go talk to another kid's dad. It was middle school and I was super sensitive and couldn't take any sort of criticism well. This kid and I weren't even really enemies, we occasionally played Magic together, but he could be kind of an rear end in a top hat at times and this one instance he said something (that I don't even remember anymore) that set me off and really upset me. I was crying and my dad asked what was up, I told him the kid hurt my feelings (not in that language specifically) so my dad went to talk to his dad about it. Not like kick his dad's rear end but just a "hey, you're kid's being kind of a jerk." It wasn't until years later that I found out that the kid's dad was physically abusive and I have no doubt that he probably got a beating that night.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 03:15 |
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I took stuff from my mom, like vodka when I was underage. She knows now, but I still feel really bad. I have let my cat hunt outside and had to kill a bird once, and let him finish animals off if they were too injured.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 03:17 |
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I was friends with a girl that lived across the street, she was a year older than me, i was 10. We would ride bikes everyday, and i was being stupid and showing off riding on one foot, and told her to try it. her bike flipped over and she landed on her jaw. There was blood EVERYWHERE, i was so loving scared for her, but also scared for myself and what a stupid thing i told her to do. I ran to her parents to tell them, and off to the emergency room she went. She ended up with a broken jaw, and had to have her jaw wired shut. She told her parents that she had ran over a rock instead of telling them what really happened. I felt nothing but shame and guilt, i remember not wanting to face her after that. I just stopped being her friend, i ignored her. She still wanted to be my friend and would beg me to "play" and call me all the time, and she would plead with my parents for answers. but i just couldnt deal with that sort of guilt at that age. I mean she was such a sweet girl, and she didnt blame me for it.. and all she wanted was her friend. i still feel really guilty about it and i dont know what happend to her. but ugh.. 
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 03:19 |
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A bunch of my classmates and I absolutely destroyed the 6th grade boys bathroom the last day of elementary school. I almost never did bad poo poo and mostly kept to myseld, but it was a group of kids I desperately wanted to be friends with, so once they started up I joined right in. The janitor that found that crime scene probably went home and shot himself. Toilets clogged with piss-soaked rolls of TP, piss and poo poo in all the sinks and urinals and trash cans, poo poo on the floor, boogers on the walls and a loogie that, I poo poo you not, stretched from the ceiling to the floor and hardened. We never got in trouble since it was the last day of school, but I still think about it sometimes. Looking back, I couldn't believe how quickly I got swept up in the chaos and succumbed to social pressure to do something I knew was wrong, and that lesson really stuck with me.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 03:22 |
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When I was a kid there was a newspaper machine on the way home. I somehow found a way to steal money out of the machine by flipping a little switch in the coin return slot. I probably only took $10 total out of it, but I remember there was a security guard standing guard near that newspaper machine that probably saw me take the change out of that thing a couple times. I stopped before he said anything to me.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 03:24 |
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I had a hamster when I was 6. In hindsight my mom should have paid more attention and tried to teach me about taking care of an animal, but she basically told 6-year old me to feed him once. I tried to remember to feed him, but I was 6 so I forgot. Then I forgot some more. My little hamster starved to death because I forgot to feed him for about a week. I still feel really bad about that.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 03:27 |
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:In elementary school we were all sitting in a big group on the rug for story time. I accidentally let loose a mighty fart and blamed it on the kid with behavioral problems sitting behind me. Everyone, even the teacher, thought it was him. He threw a massive tantrum and had to be sent home for the day. All the way from 1st page. But you don't happen to be from around Saratoga, NY would you :| For Content: when my brother and I were younger, we would put our hamster in a Crayola Crayon Piggy Bank thing, put it on a Bean bag chair and jump on said bean bag chair. Launching the poor critter across the room in our makeshift rocket. I feel horrible for the poor little thing. It would actually die from old age however, but man was I retarded.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 03:34 |
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When I was in elementary, I once joined in making fun of this kid that no one really liked. And as we were walking along, I tripped him. As an adult, I feel like absolute poo poo for this, and have no idea why I did it. I got picked on a lot at school too, so I should've been supportive of the poor guy
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 03:39 |
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I'd heat coins on top of a light bulb w/ my bro. Then we'd take tweezers, lift the hot coins, and "hand" them over to any gullible cousin or neighborhood kid. I do feel very bad for that one. Not this as much....I was always hiding, then popping out and scaring the hell out of my grandmas (both sides) because for some reason seeing an old lady clutch her chest and nearly pass out was hilarious to seven year old me. Relatives would warn me and say I could give them a heart attack, so naturally I tried harder because I thought they were bullshitting me.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 03:40 |
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DamnGlitch posted:You are ashamed of this? This was and is the correct course of action. True. No one could have been expected not to do what you did.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 03:57 |
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There were these three boys in my elementary school that were kinda weird and poor and smelled bad. We had this game where we chased them around yelling, "THREE-WAY GAY!" I also straight-up told one of them I didn't want to sit by him because he smelled bad. gently caress, I was an rear end in a top hat. All three of the three-way gay are happy and married with kids now while I am horribly alone, so I guess it worked out. I also stabbed my friend in the arm with the hoof of a Grand Champion toy horse. We got into an argument of some kind and started like, sword-fighting the horses together and then I just jammed it into her arm and the hoof broke off in her arm. She still has a faint horseshoe scar there. I remember she kept the hoof in a little padded ring box and would open it and show me to make me feel bad.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 03:57 |
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I once ran a Dremel and stuck it in my sisters hair. She ended up having a bald spot from it. I was really young though and I don't think I knew entirely what I was doing. I used to talk my brother into breaking into the neighbor's houses and stealing toys for us to play with. I hid in some bushes with a few friends and we threw rocks into traffic. I told my cousin I didn't want to stay and play with him at his birthday party because we couldn't play the PS2 (which had just been released at this time). I used to physically beat up my brother and sister a lot. I would blame pretty much everything that I would be getting in trouble for on my brother instead. I once kicked our dog (I forget why exactly) so hard in a fit of rage he instantly starting pissing uncontrollably and was terrified of me from then on until we eventually rehomed him. For what it was worth I felt absolutely horrible immediately after and ended up crying myself to sleep over it.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 03:59 |
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you're all psychopaths. e: I was at a parents friends house and the mother told me her daughter had a crush on me, I was flustered and didn't know what to say so I blurted out a sarcastic "Pfff!, Great." One of the other adults sitting there then said "So who's your girlfriend?" Of which I had to admit I had none, by way of an embarrassed "huh?" The daughter was a lovely girl who I actually DID sort of have a crush on but the shame of that "who's your girlfriend" combined with being derisive about someone's daughters affections to their face because I was oh such hot poo poo, well  I apologized to the mother years later but she of course didn't remember it. Oh, I also murdered everyone in my school, even though I was literally the only person not to be murdered no-one ever suspected me.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 04:10 |
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Paint-Drinking Pete posted:As soon as my oldest friend turned 16 we started filling the back of his pickup with water balloons and driving around town nailing random people with them. This became a routine for us throughout high school, I'm sure I have a lot of enemies back in my home town. This is not only funny and harmless, but also the entire concept of Sum 41's first music video. Anyway, the only two things I feel ashamed of are as follows: 1. We had a big corn field around 2 of the 4 sides of the neighborhood me and my friends lived in. Like there was the neighborhood, then a big dirt mound going around the two sides (that could be easily climbed over, we used to ride bikes on top of it), and then the corn field. We went out one day and decided to make a "fort" in the corn. And by that I mean we loving flattened a huge chunk of the field. We were of course caught, and our parents had to pay the farmer back for his destroyed crops. 2. We threw apples at the dog that lived next door to me. He was a real rear end in a top hat, and would try and bite us, and was constantly barking. Looking back at it, the white trash couple who owned him "took care" of the dog by leaving it chained to a tree all during summer, and then in their porch (not heated) all through winter. So the thing I'm most ashamed about here is that we threw apples at the dog instead of the loving assholes who owned it.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 04:21 |
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My friend and I would play 'Battering Ram'. Battering Ram was a game in which the two participants find a large but manueverable log and take down somebody's fence panel by panel. No man's yard that bordered on a public park was safe from our wrath.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 04:28 |
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| # ? May 25, 2013 21:04 |
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doczoid posted:Oh, I also murdered everyone in my school, even though I was literally the only person not to be murdered no-one ever suspected me. Sounds like you learned a very important lesson that day. LEAVE. NO. WITNESSES.
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| # ? Aug 28, 2012 04:30 |
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