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Good Evening. the concept of retarded haiku was accidentally invented by Slidebite. He encouraged me. So, blame HIM. This is haiku about retards, or composed by retards, or just inherently 'tardesque. We begin: Retarded haiku Is like a moronic bard Enlightening dog Enlightened dog spoke At great length of bones and food Silence flees away Dog spoke yet further Of squirrels and Frisbees -Oh! How to silence cur Golden silence back Dog that spoke was quite trusting A fine supper now A slow Zen master Napped in barnyard with three goats Awoke without shoes Goes to rest in bed Finds soft coverlet eaten Closes door at once Searching for foot-gear Finds dung heap with two laces Goatskin soft on feet
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 07:54 |
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| # ? May 19, 2013 06:49 |
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edit: never mind
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 07:58 |
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A monk, mind damaged Posted poems on humor site Abuse soon followed zimboe fucked around with this message at Aug 30, 2012 around 08:05 |
| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:02 |
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GBS ahoy! Comedy gold in my hand. Give me all your 5's! my first post is lol monkey cheese ninja--OH! ps add me  (wink)
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:11 |
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"can I threadshit here? (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)" well, that settles that
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:12 |
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I don't even know Why they teach this poo poo in school Who speaks in haiku?
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:14 |
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The court musician Threw cats in grand piano To Emperor’s praise. zimboe fucked around with this message at Aug 30, 2012 around 12:18 |
| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:16 |
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a new thread posted "compose retarded haiku" Senor Lowtax smiles after all, it's said mangosteen won't buy itself hope you got ten bucks
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:16 |
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Why not just copy? All haiku is really dumb You don't have to try
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:18 |
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There once was a man from Nantucket
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:18 |
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Taco House special Stomach rumbled urgently Post pants-making GBS threads thread
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:22 |
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Four seasons ago together we did voyage Slidebite and I both His gums were quite fine, Good oral care makes the man! Then slideth his bite! His ailment, to me came surely as no surprise He hated Citrus!
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:23 |
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nimh posted:There once was a There was once a man From Nantucket, who wasn't a good role model.
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:23 |
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Befriend new people you meet It's always better when we get along Smoke weed everyday
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:29 |
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Hellsau posted:There was once a man In Xanadu did Olivia appear a pleasure-dome Pity it sucked
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:33 |
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I posted a thread Good idea said all goons They were sarcastic
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:34 |
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Who in the gently caress thinks Another lovely haiku thread is needed now. Although this does have the promise to offend someone A weeaboo cries. Although there should be a season word in these so I guess Oregano? Basil, Nutmeg, Thyme Paprika, Cumin, Sea Salt Joke is in the ground. Infidel Castro fucked around with this message at Aug 30, 2012 around 08:47 |
| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:36 |
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Flies in my garbage I sprayed it with bleach and now they are all over
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:52 |
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Reading aloud helps to keep track of syllables but it feels stupid. Count: Five-seven-five then just throw in some small words to keep your count right. I wish I had weed! At least I'd have an excuse for being this bored. I posted in this just to keep you all amused. I hope you liked it. thiswayliesmadness fucked around with this message at Aug 30, 2012 around 10:10 |
| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:56 |
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MobMentality posted:I posted a thread Straight answer from goons Rare as diamonds in dog poo My fingers stink now
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 08:58 |
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zimboe zimboe zim you think, you type, you post too only butts drop poo
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 09:02 |
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"Garth, that was a hai ku." A hilarious quote from Wayne's World, movie.
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 09:12 |
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Infidel Castro posted:Who in the gently caress thinks But this is supposed to be haiku about retards.Haiku by retards is too easy. The slow Zen masters,moronic bards...etc. Goons have no restraint Fly off on baffling tangents Soon beat joke to death zimboe fucked around with this message at Aug 30, 2012 around 09:22 |
| # ? Aug 30, 2012 09:14 |
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You rated this thread one- the loneliest number Great job, go hog wild!
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 09:28 |
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FaradayCage posted:Flies in my garbage Flies in my garbage I sprayed with bleach and beheld Beautiful white flies zimboe fucked around with this message at Aug 30, 2012 around 09:36 |
| # ? Aug 30, 2012 09:29 |
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No air during birth Cord wrapped tight around my neck I LOVE HOTDOGS DURRRRR!!!!
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 09:30 |
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doczoid posted:You rated this thread  Ev'rybody knows You never go full retard. "You m-m-m-mmm-m-make me happy". Beavis and Butthead Haiku'd in their episode "For Better or Verse". zimboe posted:But this is supposed to be haiku about retards.Haiku by retards is too easy. *ahem* zimboe posted:This is haiku about retards, or composed by retards 
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 09:32 |
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It is my hot body I do what i want Whatever
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 09:36 |
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1 posted:
Well I left the money on the table on that one. zimboe fucked around with this message at Aug 30, 2012 around 10:45 |
| # ? Aug 30, 2012 09:39 |
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five syllables then seven followed by five more 
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 09:41 |
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A retarded man A window glazed with spittle his parents long dead A swooshing, quickly and ripples across the pond An empty wheelchair Let's get retarded Let's get retarded in here Let's get retarded Silence rings out once thorazine brings relief Only to the nurse A man got stung by a bee smarter than him Anaphylaxis
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 09:49 |
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Burg burg burg burg burg Sperg sperg sperg sperg sperg sperg sperg Burger Sandwich Thread edit: 
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 10:00 |
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A fogbound peasant Asked Cat for fill of wisdom Cat then said nothing zimboe fucked around with this message at Aug 30, 2012 around 11:27 |
| # ? Aug 30, 2012 10:03 |
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Baldur's Gate is good Heya it's me Imoen Install incest mod
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 10:05 |
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Quote is not edit Sorry for doubleposting Wait, sorry, wrong thread
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 10:08 |
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I never really got the point of creating haiku in English; the original poem structure is not based on syllables, but rather morae or on. On are different than syllables. Final -n is an on, as well as lengthening vowels. It simply doesn't work well with the language, so most of the time, poets just ignore it and go for the essence of minimalism. There are two additional constraints worth noting, even if you ignore that. One is the concept of kiru, "cutting"; haiku must juxtapose between different concepts. The other is the notion of an interposed seasonal element. There is a closed class of words from which you are supposed to pick for this. Even so, I leave you with this bit inspired by convention-going: The moon rises and wolf-shirts gather-- Indoors?
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 10:09 |
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Kiru, so? The Enlightened Dog Gave investment tips to all Facebook a sure bet. Angry investors ask Dog for explanation Still,a dog, he bites. zimboe fucked around with this message at Aug 30, 2012 around 13:13 |
| # ? Aug 30, 2012 10:14 |
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Summoned Hiaku Writing Creative Forum Now Summon Thread Appropriate Move Kindly Moderator Retarded GBS Bad Posts Here Hiaku Unseasonably Placed Fast Hands Moderator Cheeto Fingers Stained Dazzling Strike Thread Hiroshima Goneoshima
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 10:23 |
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Cardinal Ximenez posted:
I like that. this is the 3-5-1 form, right? ... If it was done correctly, it wouldn't be very retarded, would it? Clumsy mason Drops brick on own foot. Hop! zimboe fucked around with this message at Aug 30, 2012 around 10:55 |
| # ? Aug 30, 2012 10:25 |
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| # ? May 19, 2013 06:49 |
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ableism and elitist seasonal words; cicadas chirping
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| # ? Aug 30, 2012 10:25 |
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