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Eggplant Wizard
Jul 8, 2005


i loev catte
Thanks to Dear Prudence for writing this OP for me.

Welcome to the new and improved Parenting Megathread. This thread is for all your parenting questions, sharing, gloating, and whining for kids 3 months and beyond.

If you are wanting to get pregnant, please head over to the Getting Knocked Up thread.

If you're pregnant or just gave birth to a newborn, please head on over to the Pregnancy Megathread.

Because it's always good to set limits so your child can grow up in a safe and structured life, here are a few rules.
    1. Don't be an rear end in a top hat. Sanctimommies are not allowed. People have different parenting styles and they tend to think their style is the best style and if someone isn't doing it that way, they are an inhuman abusive monster who shouldn't be allowed to have children. That kind of attitude and talk will not fly in this household, mister! [modnote: This means chill the gently caress out. Even if you think that e.g. Cry It Out is literally child abuse, try to present your argument with SOURCES, not sniping or hysterical pronouncements. If you find you can't do that, take yourself out of the thread for a while. Bad behavior will not be tolerated.]

    2. Try not to use this as a Facebook thread or a LiveJournal. While we are all excited to share the adorable and oh so clever thing our little snoogums did just the other day, resist the temptation to use this thread for those purposes. Stories about your young ones and anecdotes are fine, as long as they're in the context of what's being discussed. Violation of this rule will get you put into a time out. Just wait until your father gets home!

    3. This is not a photo-dump. If you're going to post a few pictures of your children, that's fine, but try to contribute as well. Sharing is caring, little one.

Resources: Great links to scour for help with everyday questions about raising your monster.

Baby Center - The go to website for great information for all things baby, unbiased and balanced.
Kelly Mom - Excellent resource for information on breastfeeding and general baby concerns.
Kid's Health - General site for parents, kids, or teens that has lots of articles, posts, and more about raising healthy kids.
American Academy of Pediatrics - Full of official studies, resources, news articles, etc.
All For the Boys - Craft ideas and Do-it-yourself projects for rainy days and beyond. Note - not just for boys!
Declutter, Reorganize, Repurpose - Informed blog created by a father who shares his thoughts, tips, and tricks and raising healthy, happy children.

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Papercut
Aug 24, 2005

The quickest substitution in the history of the NBA
Any book recommendations for early childhood? I've heard good things about Happiest Toddler on the Block, Brain Rules for Baby, and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. Any must-haves I'm missing?

dreamcatcherkwe
Apr 14, 2005
Dreamcatcher
I like "The Baby Book" by Dr Sears.

skullamity
Nov 9, 2004

Someone bought me a copy of Amazing Baby by Desmond Morris as a gift. It covers developmental milestones and development for the first two years and really delves into a lot of neat science facts about babies. It was jokingly referred to as a 'baby owners manual' to me by the person who gifted it to me, and even after only a few quick flip-throughs, I have to agree. I'd definitely recommend it.

Chicken McNobody
Aug 7, 2009
Praise Glob, the thread is back. I need some advice that doesn't amount to "lock the kid in his room and let him scream for a while." Obviously the last thing we need is more sleepytime drama, but what I'm looking for is a little different.

PART THE FIRST. Sometimes it seems like every other kid on the planet plays hard for a while and then falls asleep in the middle of stacking blocks or something. Not my kid. He's 8 months old now and has never been real good about falling and staying asleep unless he was physically on an adult human being. Here lately, though, he's abandoned every effort to sleep separately, whether in his pack-and-play for naps or his sidecarred crib for bedtime.

I've tried wearing him (he hates being confined by a baby carrier; I've tried wraps, slings, soft-structured, mei tais, even a Bjorn crotchdangler. He won't stay in them anymore). I've tried swaddling him, but he's really too big and active to swaddle now, and fights his way out if I try. I've tried a number of bedtime rituals (had to stop these when it became clear the fighting sleep was becoming part of the ritual), including the 4Bs (bath, book, boob, bed). I've tried shushing, white noise, light music, vibration. I've tried letting Daddy put him to bed (he gets as far as the mattress' surface before realizing I'm not there and waking up to play with Daddy). I've tried feeding him more. I've tried rocking, bouncing, dancing. He doesn't fall asleep in his carseat (again, hates being strapped in) or I'd try the car.

Literally the only things that seem to put him to sleep are:
A) I go to bed with him and nurse him to sleep.
B) Daddy goes to bed with him and holds him while he screams bloody murder and eventually pretty much passes out. (I ABSOLUTELY HATE THIS. But I work full time and my husband stays home with him, so this happens at least once a day.)
C) My husband was hospitalized for a week, and I found someone to babysit who has a baby about Arthur's age. After a day of hard playing he'd go to bed really easily and sleep for 7 or 8 hours. That was the best month :3: Unfortunately we can't afford a babysitter anymore so that's out.

Now, I don't mind nursing the boy to sleep. What I am having trouble dealing with is watching how tired he is and how much he wants and needs to sleep but just refuses (or doesn't understand how) to do it. If this is all that works, I'll happily do it, but I also have to help make dinner, eat some and feed some to the kid, get washed and brushed, help get the kid washed and brushed, get my stuff organized for the next day's work, and clean my pumping equipment. By that time it's ten o'clock and the kid is frantic to sleep. I've got no time to unwind myself. How do you lovely people keep yourselves sane when confronted with a non-sleeper?

PART THE SECOND. One plan that I've been trying to get hubs to participate in is to take the kid and get out of the house and do some activities during the day while I'm out. But I think he got the postpartum depression that passed me over. Literally all he has to say about anything since about a month before the baby came is "I'm tired." I won't go into how lovely that makes me feel, since I have a baby dangling off my nipple all night and work 9 hours a day. I'm mainly concerned that the baby might not be getting the stimulation he needs and that he might just be bored out of his gourd. I've suggested swimming classes, the gym, the park, shopping, whatever. Nope, he's too tired to do any of that, and by the way he didn't start dinner because he didn't know what to eat. I've been depressed all my life, so I know how he feels, but goddammit I need help and all the negativity really drags me down. What can I do or say to get him the gently caress out of the house with the baby?

I'm sorry to whine, but I have no one to turn to about this stuff.

The booger in question, just so I feel better when I look at this terrible post:

Ariza
Feb 8, 2006
For the second part, did your husband have to stop working to stay home and take care of your baby? I've always struggled with depression and coming from a blue collar family, quitting work and staying home all day made it much worse as so much of my self-esteem came from working hard and providing for myself and my wife. I still feel super self-conscious a lot of the time when I take my daughter places and it takes a bit of doing to work myself up to get out of the house. It used to just be going to the park or the grocery story very early in the morning when it was mostly empty. But I do take her places everyday, at least twice a day now so that she can get out and see things. My wife gets 4 days off a month, and works 10-14 hour days the rest of the month and I don't know anyone within a 1000 miles of where I currently live, so if I didn't do it then no one would. It's harder to be sympathetic for a grown-up when they're supposed to responsible for a child. He's not playing video games all day is he?

Woman
Oct 31, 2010
It's not a terrible post, it's normal to feel the way you do on barely any sleep. It's important for everyone to get a good night's sleep. Did you ever ask the babysitter what she did to make him sleep 7-8 hours easily? Maybe she has some tips for you on what she did. I've seen a lot of people here recommend the No Cry sleep solution. Also, your husband sounds like he's really depressed. He should talk to someone about it, because he probably won't start being more helpful or interested in doing more activities until he feels better. The longer that takes, the longer you will be exhausted working all day and taking care of all the household duties and child wakings on your own. That will make you resentful eventually. Has he talked to you about what's going on with him?

Twatty Seahag
Dec 30, 2007
He would probably sleep better if he was getting tired out from doing activities during the day to be honest. My husband is a teacher and stayed at home with our daughter (20 months old now) all summer and they would do two activities outside of the house every day. Usually breakfast, park, lunch, nap, store/storytime/mall/park/playdate until I got home at 5.

MoCookies
Apr 22, 2005

Part I - My kid (10 months) also only goes to sleep with a boob. I find it annoying some nights, but learning to nurse in a sling has been helpful, since I can get some stuff done while nursing. Or at least I don't feel quite as tied down since I can move while he's nursing. No Cry Sleep Solution has been a helpful guide for us too.

Part II - He really, really needs to get out of the house on a daily basis. You may have to simply insist that he try it for a week or two. After realizing that I was edging towards depression again, I made it a goal to get out the house with the baby once a day, even if only for a walk around the neighborhood. It truly helps. It sometimes feels like a huge hassle to gather all our crap just to hang out at the park for an hour or two, but in the end, I need it for my own mental health. The grind of laundry, cooking, cleaning, and baby-related stuff starts to get to me if I don't talk to other adults. I found a great co-op preschool group near me on Meetup.com; hopefully your husband can hook up with a similar group.

Ariza
Feb 8, 2006

MoCookies posted:

Part I - My kid (10 months) also only goes to sleep with a boob. I find it annoying some nights, but learning to nurse in a sling has been helpful, since I can get some stuff done while nursing. Or at least I don't feel quite as tied down since I can move while he's nursing. No Cry Sleep Solution has been a helpful guide for us too.

Part II - He really, really needs to get out of the house on a daily basis. You may have to simply insist that he try it for a week or two. After realizing that I was edging towards depression again, I made it a goal to get out the house with the baby once a day, even if only for a walk around the neighborhood. It truly helps. It sometimes feels like a huge hassle to gather all our crap just to hang out at the park for an hour or two, but in the end, I need it for my own mental health. The grind of laundry, cooking, cleaning, and baby-related stuff starts to get to me if I don't talk to other adults. I found a great co-op preschool group near me on Meetup.com; hopefully your husband can hook up with a similar group.

Unless you're in a big city, it's really hard to find any parenting groups on meetup.com that aren't for 'Moms.' I'm in a big city now and there's tons of Mom groups and only 1 Parents group and it's 'For Jesus' which makes me uncomfortable. I've resigned myself to only talking to my daughter and store clerks for the next four years of my life.

Chicken McNobody
Aug 7, 2009
Yeah, complicating things is that we're very rural and meetup choices are limited. But there is a gym that provides childcare, and a wildlife refuge nearby. I'd be happy for them to just go for a walk once a day, if nothing else.

He tries to get some household projects done, but yeah, sometimes he does spend a good portion of the day on a videogame.

He just finished his Master's this May, so he wasn't working, but he was pretty burned-out by the end. I've suggested looking for work, and he'll consider a job if I look it up for him and supply all the info, but he won't apply, and he won't look himself. We did really want one of us to stay home with Arthur, and I have a more lucrative job than his degree will probably net him, so that's why I'm working & he's at home.

As far as the babysitter goes I think all she did was read and sing to them some, maybe play a few games. The rest was just the babies playing. Her little girl was a little ahead of Arthur physically and I think the competition was good for him...in that month he started crawling AND pulling up!

Ben Davis
Apr 17, 2003

I'm as clumsy as I am beautiful
Is there a library nearby? Sometimes they have storytime or playtime for babies. Even if there aren't any programs, it's an easy place to visit with a kid that doesn't involve spending money, and the books/movies/video games there are their own reward! He has to get out of the house for your kid's sake if not for his own.

enitsirk
Jun 9, 2005
As for Part I - that was my first son for over a year. Have you tried laying down with him when he's tired, nursing him to sleep, and then popping him off the nipple and leaving the room? I was able to do that for quite a while. Some nights it wouldn't work, particularly if he was teething or sick, but often it would.

If you can get your husband on board with helping you with some of your prep stuff for the next day that would help also. Even if you just had a list of things that were absolutely necessary and asked him to do those in the event that you can't escape the baby.

As for Part II, he definitely sounds like he's not in a good place. Others have offered good suggestions on his mental health and getting out of the house so I'll leave that. As for dinner, maybe he would be receptive to you asking him to make a particular thing? Or you could help him to meal plan and grocery shop for the week on the weekends so he wouldn't have to come up with the meal or get ingredients.

Lyz
May 22, 2007

I AM A GIRL ON WOW GIVE ME ITAMS
After taking the path of least resistance with Chris and letting him nap in swings and vibrating chairs, or on my boob, the only way I can get him to nap now is lying in bed next to me with a pacifier and some soft lullabies playing. About five minute after he closes his eyes I switch him to the crib (I used to leave him on the bed but he fell off after he decided to wake up and crawl around without making a peep).

Speaking of sleep issues (it really is the worst thing about kids), Chris has started a lovely pattern or waking up at 3:30am and NOT GOING THE gently caress BACK TO SLEEP. I know part of it is a temperature issue, because the weather is getting colder and heat really doesn't get into that nursery very well, and part of it is the fact that I'm lazy and bring him to bed to nurse when he wakes up for the day because I want to keep laying down.

I'm babbling, but the gist of it is that this is becoming an hour and a half ordeal in the middle of the night and it's kicking our asses. Do I need to stop the morning feeding in bed because he's just kicking up a fuss to get that, or do we need to stop going in the room a half dozen times and just let him work it out on his own?

dreamcatcherkwe
Apr 14, 2005
Dreamcatcher

Lyz posted:

After taking the path of least resistance with Chris and letting him nap in swings and vibrating chairs, or on my boob, the only way I can get him to nap now is lying in bed next to me with a pacifier and some soft lullabies playing. About five minute after he closes his eyes I switch him to the crib (I used to leave him on the bed but he fell off after he decided to wake up and crawl around without making a peep).

Speaking of sleep issues (it really is the worst thing about kids), Chris has started a lovely pattern or waking up at 3:30am and NOT GOING THE gently caress BACK TO SLEEP. I know part of it is a temperature issue, because the weather is getting colder and heat really doesn't get into that nursery very well, and part of it is the fact that I'm lazy and bring him to bed to nurse when he wakes up for the day because I want to keep laying down.

I'm babbling, but the gist of it is that this is becoming an hour and a half ordeal in the middle of the night and it's kicking our asses. Do I need to stop the morning feeding in bed because he's just kicking up a fuss to get that, or do we need to stop going in the room a half dozen times and just let him work it out on his own?

I wouldn't leave him to work it out on his own.

Can you address the warmth in his room issue? Maybe dress him in warmer pajamas or turn your heat up higher than you normally would just so the nursery does get warm enough?

Ben Davis
Apr 17, 2003

I'm as clumsy as I am beautiful

dreamcatcherkwe posted:

I wouldn't leave him to work it out on his own.

Can you address the warmth in his room issue? Maybe dress him in warmer pajamas or turn your heat up higher than you normally would just so the nursery does get warm enough?
Yeah, Kosta was waking up a few days ago when the weather changed, and we had to run out to get him a sleepsack. Fleece sleepsack with fleece pjs works pretty well. You could leave a fan on earlier when it's warm and then turn it off when you go to bed.

sullat
Jan 9, 2012
My son is 10 months, and he won't fall asleep unless I'm holding him. He'll keep crawling around and crawling around, falling over from exhaustion (it's kind of funny, but we need him to go to sleep eventually). What I've done is set up a little corner in a quiet place in the house where I can sit and rock him to sleep away from any distractions like toys and the cat (and my precious internets). Got to do it every night, but that seems pretty normal. Then carefully transitioning him to the crib. Repeat as necessary.

As far as the other issue, I'm a stay at home dad and it is kind of a downer; even in a decent-sized liberal city there aren't any "daddy" specific groups that I can find. The library storytimes are great, but only 45 minutes or so and not so great getting a chance to interact with other parents. One thing that is nice is getting out and going out for lunch; especially at a place that likes babies. Good for getting a nice meal and a bit of outside time.

Crazy Old Clarice
Mar 5, 2007

Lefou, I'm afraid I've been eating... you.

Lyz posted:

Chris has started a lovely pattern or waking up at 3:30am and NOT GOING THE gently caress BACK TO SLEEP.

Our boy has the same problem, so you have my sympathies. I would love to hear what advice others might have for this.

Lyz
May 22, 2007

I AM A GIRL ON WOW GIVE ME ITAMS

dreamcatcherkwe posted:

Can you address the warmth in his room issue? Maybe dress him in warmer pajamas or turn your heat up higher than you normally would just so the nursery does get warm enough?

We're trying, it's a delicate balance because he'll wake up and fuss if it's too hot as well. It was fine temp wise last night yet 2:30 am rolls around and he's awake for an hour and a half. I sat next to the crib keeping him from sitting up and he just laid there and stared into space, yawning and blinking heavily but refusing to go back to sleep. Then, an hour of fussing when I gave up and went back to bed, where every half hour I'd go, lay him back down and turn on some music.

My husband wanted to go get him a snack but I'm worried that we'd just be rewarding him for waking up. Maybe we just need to make it really boring for him.

Ben Davis
Apr 17, 2003

I'm as clumsy as I am beautiful
What about a little space heater with a thermometer? I think my in-laws had one that would only turn on if it was below 70 or something like that.

Khanstant
Apr 5, 2007
My parents used to drive me around in an old Camaro until I fell asleep. I don't know if it was the fumes or the womb-like rattle of the car but to this day I have a hard time being awake in a car if I am not driving (or even when I am driving). My mom would take my little sisters for drives in other cars when they were being turds about sleeping.

ChloroformSeduction
Sep 3, 2006

THERE'S NO CURE FOR BEING A CUNT, SO PLEASE KEEP REMINDING ME TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
Has anyone tried gDiapers, the ones with the flushable (or reuseable) inserts? I'm thinking of switching from sposies, and these seem like the best bet.

Chicken McNobody posted:

What I am having trouble dealing with is watching how tired he is and how much he wants and needs to sleep but just refuses (or doesn't understand how) to do it.

I just want to chime in that this is the absolute worst. I get this with my kid, and it's like, dude, you're loving EXHAUSTED, and if you could just figure out to close your eyes for 3 seconds, you'd be out like a light. Nope, we're just going to scream bloody murder every time we try to put you down.

imslandar
Mar 3, 2011
Forgive me for the long post, I don't know where else to turn:

My son Mason is 10 months old today. I'm Exhausted.
The Past: 2 days old
He was born at exactly 23 weeks gestation. He weighed 1 lb 5 oz and was 11 1/2 inches long. During his first day of life, he coded twice. When they were reviving him, the compressions caused a blood vessel in his brain to rupture. The bleeding damaged the surrounding white matter, causing cerebral palsy. His CP has not manifested with any Gross motor development issues(yet), but it has damaged his visual input senses. While his eyes can see(after surgery), his brain cannot interpret the signals. He is for all intents and purposes blind. His prematurity has also left him with Chronic lung disease, Retinopathy of prematurity, and a slew of missed milestones. He had a procedure to correct a PDA. He has a Nissen.(a procedure that prevents or limits spitting up to limit aspirations) He is fed through a G-tube(every three hours, around the clock: I'm warming up a bottle now as I type) and receives most of his medications this way as well.
Recently: At a sleep study
Mason came home from the hospital at 7 1/2 months old. He is my 5th child and my girlfriends 1st. She has had almost no interest in holding him, playing with him, or doing his care since he has come home. She used to do it in the hospital all the time, and she will do it for short periods if I specifically ask her to. I am his primary caregiver, and she works full-time. I attend to all of the other household chores, as well as having joint custody of my 3 surviving children from a previous marriage. Occasionally she will cook dinner. She is a much better cook than I am. She actually said the words "I don't want to spoil him by holding him too much". Even after showing her multiple sources of information stating that holding him is good for them both, and it enhances the bonding experience, she would rather sit on the couch with her phone-trolling facebook, than pick up our son who is lying in a play pen 10 ft away. I have started to experience signs of severe depression, and have tried to make appointments to speak to someone(I had to cancel my first appointment with my Dr. when I didn't have a sitter for daughter, and I was late to see the Behavioral Health person they have on staff, because I had to change my son.(He likes to poop right after I put him in his carseat!) I don't know what to do or what to say to her. I haven't slept right in two months, and I need her to engage. I'm not expecting her to stay up all night when she has to work, but I need a break. Someone please tell me what to say or do!

modedit: Please use timg for images larger than c. 800x600.

Somebody fucked around with this message at 13:12 on Sep 23, 2012

bilabial trill
Dec 25, 2008

not just a B

imslandar posted:

Someone please tell me what to say or do!

I think she needs to talk to someone. She might have post partum depression.

Twatty Seahag
Dec 30, 2007
You both have been through a lot. In addition to PPD she may be suffering from PTSD as well. Dads can have both of these as well.

That sounds so frustrating, and I know too well that lack of sleep magnifies anything x10000000.

Twatty Seahag fucked around with this message at 15:03 on Sep 23, 2012

MoCookies
Apr 22, 2005

ChloroformSeduction posted:

Has anyone tried gDiapers, the ones with the flushable (or reuseable) inserts? I'm thinking of switching from sposies, and these seem like the best bet.

I haven't tried those specific ones, but have a bunch of other cloth diapers. My favorites are still the BumGenius 4.0s with snaps. I looked into the gDiapers at first too, but I think I would now find that style too fussy compared to pocket diapers - and they're just as expensive. Our diaper stash is about half pocket diapers, and half prefolds with covers, and then a handful of things I just have one of because I wanted to see how much I like them. Prefolds are pretty awesome because they're super inexpensive, easy to wash, and easy to grab and use as a burp cloth or changing pad. Green Mountain Diapers has a great reputation for their prefolds.

Lyz
May 22, 2007

I AM A GIRL ON WOW GIVE ME ITAMS

Panne posted:

I think she needs to talk to someone. She might have post partum depression.

Yeah, sounds like she's completely overwhelmed - it was one thing to take care of him in a hospital setting where you have a huge safety net, but now you and her are on your own with a high needs baby. She's mentally shutting down to escape from it all.

There are probably support groups for parents of CP babies in your area, I would look them up and make your girlfriend come with you.

Also encourage her to get a Boba or Moby wrap, so she can strap him to her chest and still putter around the house doing things.

car dance
May 12, 2010

Ben is actually an escaped polar bear, posing as a human.

Unlikely because Polar Bears do not know how to speak.
Also it does not make any sense.

ChloroformSeduction posted:

Has anyone tried gDiapers, the ones with the flushable (or reuseable) inserts? I'm thinking of switching from sposies, and these seem like the best bet.

I use the Thirsties Duo Wraps (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003AJXY2E/) and just normal cloth prefold diapers. It has been super easy. No diaper rash. Unexpensive. We have 6 covers and about 40 diapers and wash every two to three days. We also have a diaper sprayer which will save your life with the poop diapers. All in all, I'm glad we chose it. Much cheaper.

imslandar
Mar 3, 2011

Lyz posted:


Also encourage her to get a Boba or Moby wrap, so she can strap him to her chest and still putter around the house doing things.

Mason is on oxygen, and has a monitor that displays Heartrate, Breathes per minute, and Oxygen Saturation. We have travel tanks to take him places, but just wandering around the house is pretty impossible.

To the mod: sorry about the pic size, I'll figure that out before I post any more pics.

Fionnoula
May 27, 2010

Ow, quit.
It definitely sounds like you both need support. My son is disabled and had very high medical needs for the first 2 years of his life. I was massively overwhelmed for a really long time, luckily my parents live quite close by so we had my mom to come over and take some shifts with Liam so we could get some rest and feel like we had *some* kind of fallback. The breakthrough for me really came when I got into a support group for parents of children with special needs (my husband came a couple of times, but he's didn't stick with it). When he was 13 months old, I was diagnosed with PTSD and started treatment and I won't tell you it's been smooth sailing ever since, it's certainly been a lot better.
Are you in the United States? If so, you should be receiving Early Intervention services. You can ask your son's service provider to look into respite care, counseling, and support groups for you. If you are in the US and not getting EI services, google it. It's federal law and there's absolutely no way your son doesn't qualify - CP and blindness are both presumptive diagnoses for services.

Eggplant Wizard
Jul 8, 2005


i loev catte

imslandar posted:

Mason is on oxygen, and has a monitor that displays Heartrate, Breathes per minute, and Oxygen Saturation. We have travel tanks to take him places, but just wandering around the house is pretty impossible.

To the mod: sorry about the pic size, I'll figure that out before I post any more pics.

It's cool. When you upload to Imgur you can just choose "Large thumbnail" and use the link that says "Linked BBCode." That is the best way. Or else just use [timg][/timg] rather than [img][/img] (but that still loads the huge picture so it affects page loading). Best of luck with your little guy.

ChloroformSeduction
Sep 3, 2006

THERE'S NO CURE FOR BEING A CUNT, SO PLEASE KEEP REMINDING ME TO SHUT THE FUCK UP

MoCookies posted:

I haven't tried those specific ones, but have a bunch of other cloth diapers. My favorites are still the BumGenius 4.0s with snaps. I looked into the gDiapers at first too, but I think I would now find that style too fussy compared to pocket diapers - and they're just as expensive. Our diaper stash is about half pocket diapers, and half prefolds with covers, and then a handful of things I just have one of because I wanted to see how much I like them. Prefolds are pretty awesome because they're super inexpensive, easy to wash, and easy to grab and use as a burp cloth or changing pad. Green Mountain Diapers has a great reputation for their prefolds.

car dance posted:

I use the Thirsties Duo Wraps (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003AJXY2E/) and just normal cloth prefold diapers. It has been super easy. No diaper rash. Unexpensive. We have 6 covers and about 40 diapers and wash every two to three days. We also have a diaper sprayer which will save your life with the poop diapers. All in all, I'm glad we chose it. Much cheaper.

Cool, thanks for the suggestions, I'll definitely take a look at those too. Basically, I'm looking for something easy, and would rather flush the poop than keep it in the (largely ineffective) Diaper Genie. Have either of you gone the reusable wipes route? That's something that's beginning to look not-so-crazy.

bamzilla
Jan 13, 2005

All butt since 2012.


Flips are also an easy system and you can use the covers with prefolds if you so desire. (so you could buy a few inserts and a few prefolds)

Regarding reuseable wipes I know most people just cut up receiving blankets or use cheap baby wash clothes. There are tons of tutorials online on how to make a good solution for them. If you decide to go that route I'd highly suggest a wipe warmer to go along with them.

Ben Davis
Apr 17, 2003

I'm as clumsy as I am beautiful
I actually think the Diaper Genie is a good choice when using disposables and does a great job of keeping in smells. My brother has one of those short pails that lets you use your own trash bags, and it requires both hands (so you have none to keep on the baby) and jams constantly. The only times I've had an issue with the Diaper Genie have been for those occasional monstrous poops after the baby tries certain foods where I'm struggling not to puke as I change him. I can understand that, if I can smell something from the next room over, nothing's going to contain that smell.

ChloroformSeduction
Sep 3, 2006

THERE'S NO CURE FOR BEING A CUNT, SO PLEASE KEEP REMINDING ME TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
Yeah, I've been looking at the online tutorials, and the wipes seem easy. My line of thinking is that if I'm throwing the inserts into a wetbin at home anyway, the wipes wouldn't really be any extra work, since I cant flush the disposable ones anyway. I love prefolds. I make all of my baby shower gifts with them, where I sew bright fabric on them for burp cloths. They're just good for everything. The receiving blanket suggestion is awesome, thanks! I don't really use them as much anymore, and some of them are worth saving, but there are some decidely mundane ones that could be repurposed.

We were keeping the diaper genie on the patio, since the smell seeped through all the time. Maybe my kid just has spectacularly awful poo. But I'm in an apartment, which is huge, but no patio right now, so I don't want to have to run to the trash every time I get a poopy diaper, or deal with the odor.

bamzilla
Jan 13, 2005

All butt since 2012.


I think the Diaper Genie is hit or miss. We have the deluxe II edition and have had no issues with stink. We used it extensively the first 2 years with our daughter and are now using it with our son. My daughter also has atomic shits (whose kid has good smelling poo poo anyway), but I just lysol the hell out of the thing each time I empty it.

You can actually use it with cloth diapers, too, but I try not to because I'm gross and I'd totally forget about it having diapers in it.

Susan B. Antimony
Aug 25, 2008

ChloroformSeduction posted:

Cool, thanks for the suggestions, I'll definitely take a look at those too. Basically, I'm looking for something easy, and would rather flush the poop than keep it in the (largely ineffective) Diaper Genie. Have either of you gone the reusable wipes route? That's something that's beginning to look not-so-crazy.

I have tried gDiapers (they were a gift), and they're absolute poo poo. They leak like crazy--I've seen online reviews saying the same thing. Really, just using Flip or World's Best covers with prefolds folded up inside is very simple, absorbent, and relatively cheap.

Ben Davis
Apr 17, 2003

I'm as clumsy as I am beautiful

bamzilla posted:

I think the Diaper Genie is hit or miss. We have the deluxe II edition and have had no issues with stink. We used it extensively the first 2 years with our daughter and are now using it with our son. My daughter also has atomic shits (whose kid has good smelling poo poo anyway), but I just lysol the hell out of the thing each time I empty it.

You can actually use it with cloth diapers, too, but I try not to because I'm gross and I'd totally forget about it having diapers in it.

Maybe it is the edition--we have the deluxe II too!

Lyz
May 22, 2007

I AM A GIRL ON WOW GIVE ME ITAMS
I've had great luck with the Arm & Hammer diaper pail. My only complaint is the pail fills up faster than the bag, which is pretty wasteful so I take the bag out and continue to use it which lets some stink out.

But yeah we have that sucker in our bedroom and have never had a problem with smell.

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Chicken McNobody
Aug 7, 2009

enitsirk posted:

Have you tried laying down with him when he's tired, nursing him to sleep, and then popping him off the nipple and leaving the room?

If I pop him off the nipple, he instantly wakes up and fumbles around until it's back in his mouth (usually biting me for my presumption) and if it's entirely gone or replaced by a paci he cries. He'll pull away when he's good and ready, and god help you if you take him off before that.

enitsirk posted:

If you can get your husband on board with helping you with some of your prep stuff for the next day that would help also. Even if you just had a list of things that were absolutely necessary and asked him to do those in the event that you can't escape the baby.

As for Part II, he definitely sounds like he's not in a good place. Others have offered good suggestions on his mental health and getting out of the house so I'll leave that. As for dinner, maybe he would be receptive to you asking him to make a particular thing? Or you could help him to meal plan and grocery shop for the week on the weekends so he wouldn't have to come up with the meal or get ingredients.
This I will definitely have to do. Last night he took off to bed with the remnants of the baby's dinner were still on the table. I didn't clean it up, he can deal with it :radcat: I already usually have to tell him to make a particular food for dinner, or write out a meal plan. If I haven't done that he will usually text me to see if I want anything in particular, and if I'm too busy or wiped to come up with anything that's when he gets confused.

I tried again this weekend to ask him to get out of the house with the kid, maybe go do some activities, at least take a walk once a day. He doesn't see the point of doing activities with an 8-month-old--"he doesn't know what he's looking at and doesn't care"--but I will keep nagging anyway. Frankly I think he needs work. We are going to look at a few job postings this week. All of this will definitely come to a head soon, as he is just sucking the joy out of this whole experience, and on top of that nothing I do is a good idea or will work out or be right and that is really getting to me. Open enrollment is next month, maybe once I get him on my insurance we can afford to send him to talk to someone. Hopefully I can get him to change something subtly and not have to just confront him, as I always just melt down in tears at any kind of confrontation.

I really am at a loss. We've been married almost 6 years and this is the first real problem I've ever had with him, but I almost dread going home in the evenings now.

Lyz posted:

I've had great luck with the Arm & Hammer diaper pail. My only complaint is the pail fills up faster than the bag, which is pretty wasteful so I take the bag out and continue to use it which lets some stink out.

But yeah we have that sucker in our bedroom and have never had a problem with smell.

We have a Diaper Champ for the disposables, but for our cloth diapers we just use a Lowe's 5-gallon bucket with a lid. The sposies pail smells a bit but we don't smell a thing out of that Lowe's bucket.

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