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asciidic
Aug 19, 2005

lord of the valves


When I was maybe 10-12 I would read encyclopedias and try to impress my friends, girls and random people by telling them about things. Most of the time they would just pretend I wasn't there. I also read a thesaurus on a regular basis so I could get the ladies moist with my college words.

When I'd get into an argument as a kid and things escalated, rather than fighting I would argue how I would win the fight and would cite made-up techniques and video game physics. For some reason I thought this was better than "hey I'm twice your size."

I turned down a date with a very attractive girl because I had a Counter-Strike match that night. I convinced myself that she was out of my league so nothing was going to happen, anyway.

I asked a co-worker out via email mostly as a joke because I didn't think she'd say yes. I told her my reading team canceled on me and I asked her if she could come over and read with me because I really want to get through The Last of the Mohicans. She actually said yes and I requested a rain check because a bunch of my nerd friends were coming over for a LAN party.

And I've turned down a few drunk booty calls to play WoW arena.

edit:
In high school I really liked this girl and instead of doing conventional things like talking to her, I invaded her privacy and aired some of her dirty laundry so my rear end in a top hat buddies would think I was cool. I logged a couple AIM pranks with her, and I tricked her into installing a RAT which I used to grab a couple webcam stills and logged conversations she had with her friends. All of this went up on my website that had AIM pranks with other classmates, which quickly spread around because of a rather embarrassing conversation I logged with someone else. I felt very bad about this and I started talking to her, being all bullshit white knight and promising to track down the nefarious hacker. Unfortunately the aforementioned rear end in a top hat buddies started calling me by my online alias out of respect for my l33t skillz and my cover was blown. *checks thesaurus for synonym of awkward*

asciidic fucked around with this message at 02:17 on Nov 14, 2012

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asciidic
Aug 19, 2005

lord of the valves


Oh man, some more things I have tried and failed to forget:

In high school, my friend who originally introduced me to computer nerdery and gaming had a fairly large Starcraft clan and I had a Diablo clan and a trainer release group/gamehacking community website. We decided to merge all of these under one name and website. What as a pretty active SC community with a few really good players turned to poo poo because people understandably didn't want to be associated with guys who make cheats, so I don't know why we thought this was such a good idea. We took this way, way too seriously like we were overseeing a major corporate merger. We made a three-branch leadership system with each of us having different roles, and the 3rd co-leader being some mutual Internet friend of ours who was meant to "keep us honest." Lots of bickering ensued. We almost got into a fight at school because I wanted someone banned from the channel and he didn't. Ugh.

When I was 9 I read my neighbor's college physics books and I watched bad sci-fi. I filled maybe a dozen notebooks with formulas I didn't understand but they were cool because they were SCIENCE, diagrams, drawings of made-up machines and ridiculous weapons, and silly theories mostly involving black holes and time travel. I also wrote stories and essays about what I would change if I went back to the past or met an alien or whatever. I stopped this when my dad discovered my notebooks and told me "this is Satan working through you."

asciidic
Aug 19, 2005

lord of the valves


High school, 2001, senior English. Everyone had to do a "senior project" to pass the class and graduate high school. The instructions were: create something, do a presentation about it, and have some sort of paper with words to turn in with it. I was making and selling website templates at the time and I knew I was the only geek in the class so I decided I could just show off some code and get away with anything because no one would know what the gently caress. I said I designed "an assembly line approach to front-end web development," used a lot of jargon to explain my totally new thing and printed out some of my rad graphics. Then I was like, "You guys know about WYSIWYG editors like FrontPage? Check this: I type my own code. By hand. In Notepad. :smuggo:" *passes around printed pages of HTML*

asciidic
Aug 19, 2005

lord of the valves


Jesus Christ I hope this is the last thing I remember.

My friends and I used gamer lingo in regular, serious conversation, and not just with each other or other gamers. Saying "owned" and berating those who pronounced it "poned," calling people CAL-O/OGL scrubs, "leetsauce," "geegee," using "sixpool" to mean "assemble and quickly travel to the destination as a group," "zerg," "nub," "CAL-I AS gently caress!" etc.

gently caress you, thread. :suicide:

asciidic
Aug 19, 2005

lord of the valves


electricsugar posted:

I actually drew a dot on my CRT monitor with a permanent marker so I could noscope without the crosshairs.

:hfive:

Also spent way too much money because I had to try all the mice and mousepads. And I bought an expensive USB headset because some LAN center PCs used onboard sound and I was sure I'd miss footsteps with that poo poo. While at work I would play flash games that helped with reaction time and accuracy. I'd show off my quick reactions every chance I got. Man, those people in traffic were most definitely like drat that guy took off the instant that light turned green he must be cal-i as gently caress.

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asciidic
Aug 19, 2005

lord of the valves


SeeS

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