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I saw the roommate thread but didn't see a neighbor thread. My eyes scan poorly though. When I 1st moved out of the folks house I moved from Texas to Florida at 21. I moved under a UKish family that had 2 kids and a wife of 300+lbs. I had no idea that people could make that much noise. Christ on a cracker, the loving kids made the most noise just by running around their apartment 24x7. The 2 kids' room was apparently right above mine. Well, I thought that this type of behavior was rather rude so I just did what I saw on TV and grabbed a broom and started bashing it on the ceiling/floor. We played the 'I make 3 booms and you make 3 stomps' game for a couple of minutes until he came down and bashed on my door. When I answered he verbally poo poo all over me(understandable in hindsight) and tried to enter my apartment(not understandable) so I did the logical thing and chased him down the sidewalk with a bat until he went to his cars glove compartment. I 'run' very slow. I went back inside. The cops came and said that we both hosed up and to basically chill out. Apparently he grabbed something other than a gun. I found that putting on the Spanish channel at max volume just before going to work encouraged them to tell their god damned loving snot monsters to stop running around the apartment all day and night. Problem lessened. After the lease was up I swore that I would never live in an apartment again. Except the time that I lived in the Travis Station apartments in Austin. I had some guy that bashed on the floor with a broom the second I closed my door no matter how softly I closed it. I really was hypersensitive about being quiet but it didn't matter to him. ANY sound at all would get him bashing away for 10-15 minutes. I'm sure he was fluent in Spanish before I left. Now that I own a house it's the good 'ol irresponsible dog owner issue. The neighbors have 2 always-outside dogs that will bark at anything and everything. All day. All night. I work with the wife at the IRS so I hesitate to call the police and instead do the passive aggressive thing and play really really loud music to remind them that they have neighbors since talking to them did NOTHING. Childish? Very much so. Effective? For a couple of weeks. I usually end up playing really really loud music once every month/other month for a reminder. They know that the dogs bother their neighbors on BOTH sides of them but they do nothing that solves the problem. They just pull the dogs in for a week and then the put them back outside all day and night and stop giving a poo poo about the people that live near them. I could be a massive prick and rat out their oldest son to the police about his 18' bong that I saw him cleaning out the other day and smoking/coughing-his-rear end-off. But he is not responsible for his parents lack of dogcipline. He also tells the dogs to be quiet when he is outside, so he's cool in my book. Far more responsible than his parents even at 14-15ish. I played a youtube version of "Jingle Bells" sung by dogs last year around Xmas that shut the fuckers up for almost a month. I think I might go all Berkowitz if they wake me up again...at 4am. Tell me your stories so I know how lucky I really am. God, I wish that some old bedridden people would move in next door. The people on the other side of me are great! Feel free to talk about horrid landlords in this thread too. Reign Of Pain fucked around with this message at Nov 22, 2012 around 05:01 |
| # ? Nov 22, 2012 04:55 |
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| # ? May 18, 2013 12:41 |
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It's you, you're the horrible neighbour. Good loving lord have you even heard of a noise complaint? Also you chased a guy down the sidewalk with a bat instead of just pushing him out of your apartment. -Troika- fucked around with this message at Nov 22, 2012 around 05:05 |
| # ? Nov 22, 2012 05:02 |
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-Troika- posted:It's you, you're the horrible neighbour. Good loving lord have you even heard of a noise complaint? I already talked about that. It would complicate things at work to say the least. With the exception of the reminder, how am I horrible? When my late dog was alive I trained it to bark at only people, not everything and anything(planes, squirrels, shadows, ghosts, ect...)
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 05:04 |
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You work for the IRS so...you can't call the police to make a noise complaint?  I don't get it.
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 05:16 |
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FishMist posted:You work for the IRS so...you can't call the police to make a noise complaint? I could call the cops, but it would just make everything really really hosed up there and wouldn't do much except result in retaliation(I don't know what for but people make poo poo up all the time and I don't like talking to the police if I can help it). You have to murder someone on 3 separate occasions just to get written up at the IRS but, if you gently caress around with the police, you could lose your security clearance and then your position/job even if you don't get charged with anything. The less contact with the police the better off I am in my opinion. Yes, I suppose I am a little 'Liberty University' type paranoid about the police no matter how many questions I ask GiP but OPM can gently caress your day if they want. vvv In a situation like that I would definitely go downstairs and ask the workers if they could hold off the music until 8-9am at least. vvv Reign Of Pain fucked around with this message at Nov 22, 2012 around 05:49 |
| # ? Nov 22, 2012 05:27 |
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I finally got my neighbor to stop blasting music and video games all day long. Now its just he walks and talks really loudly, but compared to before I will definitely take it. The landlord finally rented out the office space beneath my apartment though, so for the past 2 days the dickbag workmen were blasting music and shouting at each other from 6am to 6pm and the whole place goddamn reeked of paint fumes. I'm just hoping the tenant is quiet. I mean I already know I'm not renewing my lease, but it doesn't end until June.
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 05:41 |
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I live in a house that's been converted into two apartments, the upstairs and downstairs being two separate apartments. My bedroom is directly over the downstairs people's living room, so I'm sure you can see where this is going. Every now and then, they'll play...something, I don't know what it is, but it's the same 16 bars of music, over and over and over and over and over again. One night, they played it from 11pm till 3am. I don't know if it's a game, a movie, or what, but it's exactly the same little melody each time. It's not even loud, it's only juuuust loud enough to be able to hear it in my room. OR they'll come home from the bars, drunk as poo poo at 2am, and they'll start blaring dubstep at full blast. Or that one time they came home, drunk as poo poo, and started blasting dubstep and playing a goddam accordion at the same time. At least they're fairly reasonable about it, they stop their music within 15-20 minutes of us going down and asking them to stop, but still. Some people forget that they're not the only ones in the world.
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 06:12 |
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How about just loving weird\annoying neighbors, are those ok, because I've been wanting to vent about this poo poo all week: I recently broke up with my girlfriend of nearly four years and relocated to another area in Houston. That was about a month ago, so since then I've settled in nicely - got a good apartment, low rent, quiet neighborhood, etc. I move in and within the first day or two I meet the neighbors. They seem like nice guys at first - a tall dude, pretty young with long hair, looks geeky. The other guy is about my height, looks about the same age of the other guy, short hair, big metal fan judging by how he dresses. Turns out they're both 18 which is pretty weird I guess, but I'm not terribly older than them (I'm 24) so at the time it's whatever. We hang out here and there, and the first thing that should have set off alarms is that the tall dude (let's just call him Chris) rented 2016: Obama's America, and was legitimately interested in seeing it. I bust his balls about it but he just kind of plays it off. I learn that the other guy (let's call him Frank) is living on Chris' couch, has no job, has a pregnant girlfriend who's living who knows where, takes an enormous amount of drugs, and both of his parents hate him. He told me that his mother and father were the kind of insane, Christian helicopter parents - no R-rated films, no heavy metal, no video games, you get the idea. Naturally, he pretty much rebelled against them, but given that his girlfriend is pregnant, has no source of income, and just plays guitar all day, I don't think it's really working out. They have no money to pay for an internet connection, so they just try to find any open networks they can on their laptops. They both tried talking me into allowing them to use my network when I eventually had it hooked up, and before I could even consider it for practical reasons (job hunting, keeping in contact with family, etc.) Frank starts spouting off about getting back into using Tor.  No thanks. I wouldn't have let them use my network anyway, but hearing that from him and seeing this weird rear end look on his face was pretty loving odd.Now Chris is quite possibly the gooniest mother fucker I've ever met. King of the Manchildren, I guess. He at least has a job (working at a Boston Market I think), but his only frame of reference for anything in the world is - bet you can't guess - anime and video games. Over the past few weeks I've been here, I've found that Chris literally never stops talking about anime and video games. He plays no sports, has no other real interests aside from terrible heavy metal and J-pop, and from what I can tell he has no other hobbies. There's a cat that runs around the neighborhood that he feeds from time to time and it's taken quite a liking to me (which is hilarious because I've always been a dog person), mainly because I can actually afford to give it food on a regular basis. Chris told me he named the cat Element. A stupid loving name, but again, he's a weaboo. Did I also mention it's quieter in my apartment? I'm sure the cat can't loving stand the amount of noise that these guys make. Both dudes are loud. Loud enough that they almost kept me up to 3 a.m. on Monday with a few of their other friends, and following two face-to-face confrontations about the noise I ended up making a noise complaint so I'm hoping that ended that bullshit. Here's a list of some of the questions Chris has asked me literally any time he's seen me: -Have you seen Final Fantasy: Advent Children? -Do you listen to any Hatsune Miku? -What do you think is the best game of all time, if you had to pick just one? -Have you ever seen Claymore? -Can I borrow your Super Nintendo to play Final Fantasy III? Take all of these in no particular order and this is about as deep as a conversation with this guy goes. He's also convinced the world is only a few thousand years old, Noah's Ark actually happened, and all religions are based off of Christianity. As if your standard weaboo wasn't already insufferable enough it turns out he's a ridiculously stupid, overly religious rear end in a top hat. He wanted to have a discussion about evolution one day. It was a poor decision on his part because I'm a rational human being who makes an effort to stay informed by reading these insane things called books. His argument against evolution was what you'd expect: My grandfather wasn't a monkey, God says the world is only thousands of years old, mankind built a car... ...What? No really, that was one of his arguments almost verbatim - humans invented a car. If evolution was real we just would have evolved an appendage like a car. We never did, therefore evolution does not exist  I gave him some book suggestions, but since they aren't kawaii I guess he won't read them.  There was also a priceless moment last week when he wandered in one day, plastic bowl of ramen in hand, and watched with wide eyes as I made homemade chicken parmesan with fresh pasta, a big rear end salad, and homemade bread. It helps that I enjoy cooking, but a meal like that is  for me. It amazes me that they don't cook even the most simple things.Oh wait, no it doesn't, because their apartment looks like something out of loving Hoarders. Plates are stacked a mile high in their sink and probably haven't been washed in days, clothes are scattered about everywhere, the floor is filthy, and I don't even want to know what the bathroom looks like. Not surprisingly, the neatest thing about the apartment is their video game collection which is neatly tucked away in their living room. Now Frank is merely OK I guess, he knows how to shut the gently caress up and can play guitar pretty loving well, but Chris has almost no redeeming qualities. I have yet to hold a meaningful conversation with him, and if he's ever around or sees me he just starts talking about absolutely nothing, in spite of me showing no interest and on several occasions straight up saying I had no idea what the gently caress he was talking about. I can remember when I first met him I made the mistake of bringing up how I enjoyed Berserk (which is a product of ) and he talked non-stop about completely unrelated Japanese poo poo for about twenty five minutes straight while I cleaned up my kitchen and eventually just gently kicked him out of my apartment.I try to tell him that I just enjoy it for what it is, not because it's from Glorious Nippon, just like everything else, but he'll just jump right back into his glorious land of Pocky cocks and moe horseshit. I haven't spoken with either of them in a few days now and that's a trend I'd like to continue. Honestly, I wouldn't mind recording some of this poo poo Chris says, it's almost entertaining in a Karl Pilkington kind of way. Only without any of the humorous charm. Chris loves video games, but what does he like more than that? Making excuses as to why he sucks at video games. It will be anything, from the size of the TV, how small the controller is, how he was too busy talking about Final Fantasy VII to notice what was going on, he will literally pull anything out of his rear end. If he's not automatically good at a game the moment he picks up the controller, then the game sucks and has no redeeming qualities. Can you guess why he usually sticks to JRPG's? He's also asked to borrow my weight bench which is hilarious because (1) gently caress no, (2) Who the gently caress asks to borrow a weight bench, (3) He's admitted that he literally does nothing but sit and play video games and has no desire to play sports or participate in any kind of physical activity and (4) gently caress no. Hell I only recently put it back together and that's to get back in shape to make my triumphant return to hockey as a goalie.  A goalie with all of the flexibility of a pregnant cow, mind you. It's been too long.  These days I hardly even answer the door when he knocks, because if I even let him in for a brief moment or start bullshitting he'll just talk and won't stop even when I just tell him I have no idea what the gently caress is coming out of his mouth and I have no interest. He gives no fucks if you're watching a movie either, as I had to rewatch about 25 minutes of The Thin Red Line (which I hadn't seen before) because he just talked the whole loving time he was in here. I don't plan on being dickish to the guy, but it's pretty clear at this point that he's, well, an annoying idiot. All of this poo poo happened over the course of about two and a half weeks and I have no real desire to hear any more about Hatsune Mikuez-desu chan whatever the hell poo poo he was talking about.
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 06:51 |
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Cmdr Tomalak posted:Every now and then, they'll play...something, I don't know what it is, but it's the same 16 bars of music, over and over and over and over and over again. I live above one of these. When I first moved into this place back in May the guy would leave on this one repetative bassline all day--and I mean ALL DAY. 8am-9pm kind of capital-A All Day. It drove me mental. Then it was replaced with near constant fighting between him and his girlfriend  They also occasionally start playing dubstep at midnight-4am for some god unknown reason. It's not like they're having a party, it's just...music. And every other morning, you bet you someone is blasting "Call Me Maybe", which coincidentally is just the thing I need to make me want to gnaw my own leg off. An "apartment for rent" sign recently went up outside the building and we haven't heard any fights or 12am dubstep-a-thons since, so I think that's a good sign.
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 07:42 |
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There is no divider between the drive to my house and my neighbour's house. It's just a wide space off the road. My neighbour, before we moved in, built out a wall to make a flowerbed across half of his drive. This means that for him to enter his property, he has to drive over our driveway. This does not bother me because I am a normal human. It does mean that every time we have a visitor, builder, delivery or anyone else parking on our drive, the second car fills the space and makes it very difficult for the neighbour to get in or out. So far he and his family members have shouted at three lots of builders, my husband, our lodger and my mother in law about how inconsiderate we are for parking a second car on our property because it makes him difficult for him to access his property, despite the fact that the access problem is 100% self-created because he built a loving wall across his own driveway. I'm about to pop a note through his door letting him know that we're going to have eight weeks of building works done, we will need to use the full extent of our drive, and if he wants unfettered access to his house, he's going to have to remove the brick wall he put in front of it. This should be fun.
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 13:02 |
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I live in a mid-rise just over the river from Boston, which is mostly owner-occupants. Most of us are in our late twenties/early thirties, some with little kids, but that's it. The building stays quiet and most of my neighbors are really nice. Except two of the units. The first one is an old couple (roughly in their 70's or so) that spend their days hopped up on pain killers and drinking. Some poo poo they have done: 1. Had a grill out on the small little lawn we have (no problem there), then proceeded to dump the still-hot coals out onto the grass. When I noticed I went to find something large to carry some water down, but heard my neighbor below me (a firefighter) rush down, throw water on them, and begin to berate the couple. I thought it was harsh at first but as time went on... 2. They fall down the stairs, constantly. It's not because they are old, it's because they are wasted. I've seen this happening as early as in the afternoon. They reek of cheap booze and on one occasion broke a bottle when falling. 3. Have almost started kitchen fires/other fires from falling asleep smoking (thank god I live in the same building as a firefighter). 4. Will sometimes pass out drunk in the hallways. 5. Will yell at you to run and get their dog (poor thing just wants to run away I'm guessing). They yelled at me to do this once while my knee was acting up, and I had a cane and a knee brace on. The other unit is a creepy guy who I'm pretty sure is mentally off. All he does is stand around the building in his jacket (regardless of the weather) and just stare at people. The younger kids in the building have told me he's the "creepy guy." When he first moved in the cops were called on 3 separate occasions because no one knew who he was and he was acting shady as hell. He will pace up and down his hallway and then fiddle with his key in the door but never go in, making it look like he's trying to break in. He lives next to the laundry room and a few people have caught him going through their poo poo (mostly women). Combine all of this and you have a shitshow of police and EMS constantly showing up. Both of these units rent so us owner-occupants have a right to file enough complaints to vote them out. Both units are going through this now, because everyone else is quiet, respectful, and nice, and as much as a dick I may sound like it's not our job to police our own building. We don't live in a bad area at all, but those 2 units probably greatly increase the amount of poo poo that is going on in the area. I got a text the other day from my neighbor (who is on the condo board) saying they will all be gone by the new year. Thank god.
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 14:32 |
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This is kind of a lame story but I feel powerless to my next door neighbor at times. The guy is old and a bit of a douche. I live in a mixed townhome and apartment area that requires everyone to parallel park on the street and sometimes you can't park directly in front of your house and have to park across the little street or down the block a couple of homes. The few times I've parked in front of his house, he makes sure to find us and say "don't park in front of my house, we don't want no trouble now." It's not the worst thing in the world but his attitude is always just incredibly sour. If he had said "hey excuse me but do you guys mind not parking in front of my house (for whatever reason) then ok, cool but he's always a dick about it. I am powerless because we pretty much have to comply with any of our neighbors requests. The county I live in has a "brothel law" that states that no more than two unrelated people can live together. It's to combat student housing in residential neighborhoods. The county I live in has the second and third largest universities in the state except it doesn't allow for students to live anywhere except spread out in hopefully low densities. I live with two people I'm not related to. Any neighbor could call the police and we'd be out of a home by Christmas. Our landlord would also owe the county several thousand dollars in fines. I've seen it happen to other people and it looks like it sucks. The only thing we can really do is keep our heads low and hope none of neighbors hate us. June 1st cannot come fast enough to move into the city.
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 16:36 |
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Apparently my neighbor purposefully tried to give me the clap. He'd been after me since day 1 and I made it crystal clear (by directly telling him) that I wasn't interested in him dating-wise and nothing would go past casual sex. Still he tried and surprise! got hurt and pissed in the end. I don't feel bad or responsible for what happened seeing as how I flat out warned him that nothing will come from it except him getting hurt and he seemed to ignore that. Well apparently he flipped out and got the clap and decided to give it to me. That night he said he didn't have condoms and got offended when I told him I wasn't going to bareback him (he literally said "What you don't trust me). Gee I wonder why I turned him down for that. Now I'm going in for an STD test and luckily all I'll have to do is take some pills. He's been kicked out of the apartment for other reasons. I have a lawyer for another case and I'll ask if I can take him to court to cover the medical costs seeing as how it's become illegal in a lot of places to knowingly transmit an STD without letting the person know before or after (I had to find out from my roommates). I'm not expecting to but it doesn't hurt to ask. This is why I rarely have sex. People get overly dramatic and can't seem to keep things casual.
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 16:54 |
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Rickycat posted:Apparently my neighbor purposefully tried to give me the clap. He'd been after me since day 1 and I made it crystal clear (by directly telling him) that I wasn't interested in him dating-wise and nothing would go past casual sex. Still he tried and surprise! got hurt and pissed in the end. I don't feel bad or responsible for what happened seeing as how I flat out warned him that nothing will come from it except him getting hurt and he seemed to ignore that. e: Nevermind. Your life sounds very...interesting. Iluvlortab fucked around with this message at Nov 22, 2012 around 17:22 |
| # ? Nov 22, 2012 17:14 |
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I live in a four-in-a-block on the upper floor, and I'm sure the house opposite is cursed or something. The last neighbours we had loved getting drunk. Unfortunately, they also loved getting into fights. I assume they killed and ate the previous (very nice) residents, because they just appeared out of nowhere one day. Over the space of about 6 or so months, we were calling the police out pretty much on a weekly basis, since, every Friday/Saturday night, they'd inevitably kick off and start fighting outside or breaking windows. They had young kids as well, who you'd sometimes hear crying during all this. Not to mention that they'd regularly pile their rubbish out in the communal hallway and fill everyone's bins - usually mine first - before anyone had a chance to use them. Eventually, they vanished just as suddenly, only to be replaced with a suspiciously similar family. They're less violent, but we sometimes get dust-ups in the hallways again. Oh, and during the height of Summer, a friend of theirs (I think, I have no idea who it was) stumbled in drunk during the night, smashed a bottle of Buckfast on the stairs, passed out by their door and shat himself all over the place. You can imagine how that went down. The guy downstairs is a charm to live with as well. He loves playing lovely music loudly, to the point where he can't even hear it when you hammer on the door, assuming he even cares. At weekends, the hallway regularly reeks of weed and booze. I'm no prude and couldn't care less what you do, but have some consideration for your neighbours. Oh, and there was a blockage in his pipes that somehow I was responsible for, so when his kitchen got flooded, he offered to kick my teeth down my throat. The second I get a decent, stable job, I'm getting a new place in town. Time to let all this poo poo be someone else's problem.
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 18:06 |
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I once rented a flat above a middle-aged guy who owned a very nice looking Jaguar and had a young, apparently South East Asian girlfriend/wife who didn't speak much English. Why he was choosing to live in that block, which was nothing special, whilst rolling in a Jag I don't know. What I do know is that he was a noisy, aggressive dickhead and that he and his mail-order bride got into such a screaming match one night they woke me up, with what sounded like furniture and stuff banging. I called the cops because I was worried he might be killing, but I made the mistake of calling the local police station rather than phoning 999, God knows why, so all I got was an apologetic call back from the police hours later. It had all gone quiet by then, so I decided to leave it at that. I saw the woman after that, so she clearly survived the experience, but I felt sorry for her being stuck with this guy, and having him as a neighbour was one reason I decided to move out not long after.
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 18:34 |
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Rickycat posted:This is why I rarely have sex. People get overly dramatic and can't seem to keep things casual. I used to work in in a building next door to an oldish dude, maybe early 60's. He was clearly retired as he was always puttering around his house. The windows of the office looked out onto the side of his house so we could see the front and back yards. All the houses on the streets have little driveways, some lead to garages but most have been converted into more living space so people just park on the pad. There's no parking problems on the street. For some reason he installed two ugly metal posts in the middle of his driveway. Between them he hung a white plastic chain with traffic cones tied to them with zip ties. Every time he'd leave the house he'd back out half way, get out, put up the chain, get back in and drive off. When he came back home he'd do the reverse. He came and left his house about 2-3 times a day, generally for no more than an hour. We could never figure out why he did this plastic chain thing. Was he worried someone would park in his own private driveway? The back yard was another story. When I started working there he had a small gazebo, 2 sheds, and a bunch of decorative wooden frame things you might grow plants on but he just used them as decoration. None of them were stained the same colour, none of them were the same style, and all had minor problems or were not quite finished. When he wasn't chaining and unchaining his driveway he was building. He built 2 more little mini-gazebo things, a bunch of.. fence things, and a sort of half-shed thing while I worked there. They were all just plopped randomly in his back yard like his back yard was a garden supply warehouse. About 50-60% of of his backyard was covered by some sort of mis-matched badly built garden construction. This is why he was always coming and going, he'd drive to the hardware store maybe 2 blocks away every time he needed something. He also never had guests over, and like I said there was no parking problem on the street as everyone had their own driveway. When ever our office would have a client over and there was no space directly in front of out office they'd park in front of his house. He would then immediately complain saying it was a residential street and that was commercial-use parking and its HIS parking and what if he had a delivery or a guest??? We just couldn't figure this guy out. But that white plastic chain with traffic cones dangling baffles me to this day.
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 18:36 |
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Baronjutter posted:We just couldn't figure this guy out. But that white plastic chain with traffic cones dangling baffles me to this day. Bodies. Bodies buried everywhere in his back yard. He goes out at night and masturbates to them.
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 18:40 |
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I live in an old house that has been converted into four apartments, two on the ground and two up top. My upstairs neighbour must only own about four CDs, because we'll routinely hear the soundtracks to The Hours and Twin Peaks, and the occasional radio hit of the 90s. That's it, and always just one or two songs at a time. This usually happens early in the morning and late at night. They also like to move furniture at 7am on the weekend. I really have no idea 
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 19:50 |
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Thanks this thread as well for making me feel good about my living situation! I have a bachelor apartment in a building that is managed by a tough poo poo ex-RCMP (that's police to you 'Mericans) who rather likes me. Most of my neighbors are either university students like me, or mildly special needs people. I have never heard one of my neighbors from inside my apartment, and no one seems to mind that I have a 5.1 THX surround sound system. Also, I get some free heat as there is a heater in the hallway just outside my room.
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 21:01 |
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Cmdr Tomalak posted:Or that one time they came home, drunk as poo poo, and started blasting dubstep and playing a goddam accordion at the same time. Do you live in Finland? My neighbors kinda suck, but nothing special. Above me the young polish academic lady who lives with her mother (who apparently has a wooden foot). Below me, a white trash couple with a hysterical daughter that starts to yell like she's on fire every time they loving leave the house at 6 in the morning, the parents usually join in, also their dog used to bark for hours on end in the morning. Does a bunch of drunk chavs count as neighbors if they show up regularly in summer on the parkinglot that one is facing? preferably past midnight. I tried to ward them off by prepping the place where they usually sat with a mix of old milk, oil and fishsauce. Well, that didn't work so well. 2 nights later the fuckers sat there again trumpeting about how great it is to be a human being and how one could share the gift of love with other people. The police would just talk to them. Fun times. This year I'll just get some dogshit or some old butter there when it gets hot.
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 21:18 |
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Radio Paranoia posted:
They could be cleaning the house. More than likely, though, they aren't moving furniture but are actually working out. I had an upstairs neighbor that I was convinced rearranged his apartment at 10pm every night. Turns out, he was working out on a exercise bike. It's amazing how loud those damned things are, especially when the person using it has headphones in and can't hear how loud their stupid treadmill or whatever is.
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 21:24 |
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My old neighbours used to try and cover up the sound of them arguing by turning the vacuum on. This was much louder (and less interesting) than them arguing. The neighbour on the other side was an elderly man with a tortoise. The tortoise used to escape and attack your feet when you were hanging the washing out. My newest neighbours are Polish, so I can't understand their arguments. 
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 22:05 |
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When I was in elementary/middle school, we had some really trashy neighbors. Besides multiple counts of animal abuse, they had a dirty, disgusting pool that they stopped cleaning one year. When we finally called mosquito control to do something about it, they got even by calling in a false report to CPS that had our family put under investigation. 
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| # ? Nov 22, 2012 22:44 |
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Yeah, these stories make me feel better about my lovely neighbours. I mean, as good as you can feel about neighbours with an ill-supervised dog that breaks into my yard and destroys my rabbit hutches. With my rabbits in them. Totally helpful guys, when I phoned them about it they just complained about their landlady. So sad to hear they're moving out.
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| # ? Nov 23, 2012 00:08 |
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I had lovely neighbors for years. Noise basically. I moved out of town into a farmhouse, no neighbors. It takes an extra half hour to get to work, but its totally worth it. And the bonus is that I can make all the noise I want, and I don't have to worry about bothering anyone (something that I would care about even if they never did) Heck last weekend me and the kid bought pumpkins and blew them up with illegal fireworks. I'd never do that in town. Living away for people makes me so happy.
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| # ? Nov 23, 2012 00:36 |
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Rickycat posted:This is why I rarely have sex. People get overly dramatic and can't seem to keep things casual. While your neighbour was a complete rear end in a top hat and you're better off without him in every way, that's not how human brains work. (I believe the pertinent part of this article applies to everyone, not just 'geeks'). Not that this excuses him not taking no for an answer or trying to give you an STI, not in the slightest: as the article says, what you can control and are expected to control is how you EXPRESS your emotions. But in a vacuum, it's just how human beings are wired. I have a mild one: while they never bothered us, the older son of the family next door was a budding thug and minor criminal, and one time my dad went out in the early morning to find a SWAT team shining a searchlight in his face; apparently there had been a convenience store robbery and they didn't know if the kid had a gun or not. Another time, I was woken up by an immensely loud thudding crash next door that I later theorized was a battering ram of the police making another raid. That family's moved out now though.
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| # ? Nov 23, 2012 01:41 |
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My neighbors are pretty cool, but growing up I had one complete rear end in a top hat. Two houses down he was "that old rear end in a top hat" in our neighborhood. If you literally took one step on his lawn threats and obscenities would fly from the window. Him and his equally horrible wife would curse, scream, and threaten to shoot children playing even near his precious lawn. When I was about 10, we found our cat in our next door neighbor's yard weakly mewing. We scooped her up and rushed her to the vet. Turns out someone poisoned her with anti-freeze and she died. On our way home from the vet the old fucker was standing in his front yard smiling and waving. My father is a very quite, reserve man; very slow to anger but when his blood was up he's down right frightening. He pulled up in the driveway, parked, and told my brother and I to stay in the car. He walked over, walked right past the man, and opened his garbage can. Later I found out was was inside: empty cans of cat food. He didn't have any pets. The entire time the old fucker was dogging my dad, screaming at him and shoving his finger in his face. After my father closed the lid on the can, he slowly turned and stared at the man. I'll never forget the look on his face, barely contained rage. He stood there for about 30 seconds listing to this barrage and then, well, he snapped. One hand shot up and enveloped the finger in his face, the other to the collar of the man's shirt. He lifted his off the ground and said something in a low, quite voice then released him. The rear end in a top hat staggered back, screaming even more shrilly, loud enough so even my brother and i could hear. He was threatening to call the cops on my dad, or shoot him. My dad didn't budge until the crazy fuckstick retreated back into his house. After that he would still yell at us, but he never would come outside when my brother and I were playing outside. Years later I finally found out what he said. My mom told me the shitbrick said he was "going to shoot those little bastards if I see them again", referring to my brother and I of course. My father told him if he touched us, he would take his 12 gauge shotgun, kick his door down, and put a deer slug in his guts and watch him die a slow, painful death. This story does have a happy if dark ending: when I was about 15 I heard he died. It appears the last year of his life he had some type of bone cancer which ate him up alive from the inside. His wife, realizing she was alone in a neighborhood that hated her for years of acting like a crazy rear end in a top hat moved out shortly. I try not to take joy in the suffering of others, but my cat wasn't the only animal he killed. So yea, gently caress that guy.
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| # ? Nov 23, 2012 01:59 |
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Breaking my lurker status, neat thread I love this stuff. My current next door neighbour of 5 years is a single divorced Dad devoid of social skills and has no brain/mouth filter. He's the guy that doesn't achieve anything in high school, (except for excelling at mechanical shop), leaves school, gets drunk, works on cars, gets drunk, gets married, gets drunk, has a kid, gets drunk, gets divorced and continues to get drunk. He's in his late 30's. I'm pretty a good judge of character but also a tolerant guy so I don't give him grief. I pretty much stay out of his way because he and his teenage kid can be pretty creepy guys. Especially when women are involved. They oggle anything under 50 with breasts and give off that rapey vibe. My wife hates it. I used to be open to mailbox chit chat but try to avoid it now for the following reasons: 1) I used to drive a 30 year old Holden that was always broken. So he always stood behind me when I was under the hood tinkering and used to tell me how I was doing everything wrong. I probably was because I know jack all about cars. Point is he never helped, just gave me crap about it. I sold that POS. 2) Yeah, that brain/mouth filter. Our second conversation, one week after moving in, was how he'd been laid the previous night before. He'd hired a prostitute and was telling me all about her form. I'm not a prude, but he's a creepy guy and I barely knew him at that moment. Not exactly a top ice breaker. 3) He mows my lawn. All the time. I don't have a lawn mower, the old POS I had was built in the 1940's and finally blew up two years ago. Haven't been able to replace it yet. So he started mowing my lawn. I should be thankful for this and have contemplated showing up at his door with a six pack - but he's also a dick about it. He never tells me he's doing it, never approaches and asks if I would mind. Polite isn't in this guy’s nature. He just huffs and buffs up and down the yard throwing his lawn mower across my lawn and staring at our house like we left dog poo on his doorstep or something. He gets all worked up over his choice to do me a favour and mow my lawn. I've intentionally been seeing how long I can get away with it, because I'm a jerk. 4) Fight night. At least once a week he and his kid will have a screaming match that lasts a few hours. Pretty sure they just yell at each other until one of them goes to sleep. Top parenting. 5) The half sister. The guy has a daughter to another mother. She's early 20's and is a bit of a street kid. She's not so much a problem, a little dense, but seems gentle enough. Her boyfriend however is always in juvenile detention, now prison. They stay next door a lot, break stuff, stand in their driveway (next to our bedroom window) at 1am and abuse people on their mobile phones, arrange drug deals and swap hot cars. They crashed a stolen car in to another neighbors house once (further down the street). Generally it's while Dad is off drunk somewhere. 6) He’s always filling up our bin with his crap because: 7) He runs cash panel beating jobs out of his carport, spends all day on the weekend grinding and beating away with his metal bits. The noise doesn’t bother me. What bothers most everyone is it puts him in prime woman oggling and blank stare position every time a car drives past or anyone walks down the street. Creepy stare while wearing wife beater, thongs and holding power tools. Classic Australian image right there  8) His kid recently found a love of dub step, Gangnam style and assorted dance music from the 90's. So guess what we have to listen to each night. 9) Fireworks. It's not that fireworks are illegal here, it's not that the random and unexpected bang annoys me. It's the fact that these guys have their hands on fireworks that worries me. It's just that they're loose cannons without having to play with fireworks and I actually saw one fired from their lawn horizontally across the street once. That's just... stupid. These days I have two children under 2 years old and am quietly hoping that these guys move away by the time my kids are in high school. I’m pretty happy there’s been no real violence though. I’m a solid built guy and capable of handling myself. Though if it happened I’d probably call the cops first and stand back with the phone cam like a true jerk. h210679 fucked around with this message at Nov 23, 2012 around 02:10 |
| # ? Nov 23, 2012 02:08 |
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I had a downstairs neighbors that bitched at me because I was typing too loud. They also argued like crazy and you could hear everything. They got the boot eventually though, supposedly the husband would oogle the women that went swimming in the pool. As a nice gently caress you after they got kicked out, they left an alarm clock ringing.
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| # ? Nov 23, 2012 03:58 |
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My poo poo neighbors have fortunately gotten the gently caress out over the last week or so (read: were evicted). I don't have any real good stories other than the constant loving arguing between the dude and his way-too-young girlfriend, their lovely kids banging on the walls and floor at all hours of the day, and their habit of just breaking communal poo poo outside the building. These kids would carry around baseball bats and just hit stuff for fun, their parents seemingly absent. They were particularly fond of swinging them around cars. Neither of them could have been more than say, six or seven years old. Another neighbor (who happens to be my best friend and the son of the landlord) was basically in the middle of building a case to turn them in to CPS/social workers. They didn't there last that long; the landlord finally had enough of their poo poo when the sewer outlet backed up (flooding my bathroom with sewage backwash, good times) and he had to last-minute call in plumbers to auger out the sewer pipe. They found a loofah in there, undoubtedly planted by the terrible kids. After they packed their poo poo and got out, the guy came back and passive-aggressively took all the light bulbs and batteries out of various appliances, like the thermostat. He also apparently stole my friend's laundry. I don't pine for justice though; turns out the dude is an ex-con and is going back to prison anyway.
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| # ? Nov 23, 2012 04:55 |
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Shonagon posted:I'm about to pop a note through his door letting him know that we're going to have eight weeks of building works done, we will need to use the full extent of our drive, and if he wants unfettered access to his house, he's going to have to remove the brick wall he put in front of it. This should be fun. I definitely want to hear a follow up to this story.
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| # ? Nov 23, 2012 05:52 |
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My dad's hobby is cars, and he loves to build/rebuild/fix them. He's fixed pretty much every one of his neighbors cars for free if they buy the parts. All except his one next door neighbor. Because when he first saw my dad working on a car, he reported him to the bylaw people. Because he "didn't like the look" of the car taken apart while it was being worked on. The car that was in my dad's driveway. On his property. Yeah, the bylaw officer came by, laughed, and told my dad this neighbor is notorious for reporting sights he doesn't like the look of that no one else would care about.
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| # ? Nov 23, 2012 06:06 |
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I'm really happy to have moved into a great house with polite, quiet neighbors, because the upstairs neighbors in my old apartment were annoying as hell. Now, in their defense, I think the walls, floors, and ceilings were far too thin, but these people were pretty drat annoying. * I have no idea how many people actually lived there. I know there were at least two middle-aged women and the teenaged daughter of one of them, plus (from what I could hear), some number of men who were around from time to time. This was in a 2-bedroom apartment. * They had at least three dogs, two golden retrievers and a smaller dog. These dogs loved to run around at all hours, meaning I got to hear "thocka thocka thocka thocka" as they ran through the apartment. They also seemed to like sitting on the couch, then leaping off onto the floor with a massive thud. Sometimes, they'd get in fights, to loud thumping and growling/whimpering. * They liked to sit on their balcony, getting drunk, getting high, and making the usual white-trash drama phonecalls. I'm not entirely perfect, I only know this because I'd often sit on my own balcony with a beer and a cigarette, but I never called up my friends to bitch loudly about who's loving who and what she said last night, etc. * They also enjoyed getting into screaming matches late at night. I blame meth. * They broke my loving window. Attempting to install a window-mounted air conditioning unit, they dropped it out of their 3rd-story bedroom window; as it tumbled, it smashed into my own bedroom window. The most glorious part was that window-mounted AC units were specifically outlawed by the condo regulations--I hated the bitchy, power-tripping homeowners association as much as anyone, but by god I was happy to learn about that rule, it almost made up for the other CC&R horseshit. * I don't think any of them had jobs. My job allows me to basically make my own hours, and it was close enough that I could run home if I needed to pick something up, and I swear I saw them out walking their dogs or doing laundry at all hours. God knows they didn't work nights, because I'd hear them drinking and fighting on any given weeknight. They weren't horrible, they didn't make the apartment unlivable, they were just a frequent source of exasperation. The real bad neighbors were the ones in Rochester who I'm pretty certain robbed my house, then tried to sell me drugs while I was waiting by the street for the cops to show up.
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| # ? Nov 23, 2012 06:39 |
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One of my neighbors tried to get away with a hit and run on my car and house. He got drunk and high early one morning, then stole his girlfriend's car and proceeded to slam into my parked car hard enough to send my car through my roommate's bedroom wall. Then the rear end in a top hat tried to park his girlfriend's car in his driveway backwards to hide the damage to it. He DID say "My bad" as the police were taking him off in handcuffs, so I guess he felt ~some~ remorse for it. Plus I got 3 1/2 times what I paid for my car in insurance money so he's not really the worst neighbor. The worst neighbor was Karen. She was a crazy old hoarder that had so much crap she had to start keeping it on her roof. Two garages and a three bedroom apartment apparently aren't enough space for all her junk. We would always have BBQs and almost everyone on the block would come. We'd invite Karen, but she never wanted to join us. There would be a small fire pit, great food, drinks, and someone would always pull out a guitar and start a quiet singalong. They were always a ton of fun until exactly 10:01 pm (quiet hours), Karen would call the police. The cops would come over and be surprised to see not a bunch of drunk rowdy teenagers throwing a house party, but a group of adults quietly sitting around a warm fire roasting marshmallows while someone softly strums an acoustic guitar. Nevertheless, they would tell us "A neighbor complained, so you gotta take it inside" . One of the last times it happened, a woman who lived on the other side of the block asked the cop "Who called? EVERYONE is here! " then we saw Karen, glaring down on us from her upstairs window.She yelled at me for smoking weed in my own backyard one day. Later that week, her grandson was visiting her and loudly talking on the phone about how he was planning on befriending my dog so he could break into my house and steal stuff. He also sold cocaine and various pills out of her house. I caught his friend stealing roaches out of an ashtray in my otherwise empty garage. Her son would always park his BMW in my single assigned parking spot when he came to visit her, even after I asked him nicely if he could park in one of Karen's spots since she had two and didn't even drive! Once I saw him bending my fence to let his 3 year old daughter reach through to pet my dog. I asked them very seriously not to do that, and he said to his daughter, "No, it's okay you can pet her." to which I replied, "Fine... let your little girl get poisoned, I just put flea medication on her fur, rear end in a top hat!" and he screamed at me, calling me a bitch and telling me I should keep my dog in the house if she has medicine on her.
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| # ? Nov 23, 2012 06:40 |
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In my last flat, my bedroom was above the main entrance lobby, in which was the control panel for the fire alarm system. It used to malfunction pretty regularly; one neighbour told me once that the some sensors were badly placed and would trigger when radiators got too hot and so on. When broken, it would emit a loud bleeping noise that drove me nuts and basically meant I couldn't use that room (fortunately it was a 2 bedroom flat). I spent ages on the phone trying to get the managing agents to fix it, which they usually did, but it would inevitably malfunction again. Where the inconsiderate neighbours come in, is that everyone in that block walked past that control panel every day, but as far as I knew, I was the only one trying to do anything about it. I can only assume none of them were as badly affected because their bedrooms didn't adjoin it. There was a severe lack of community spirit in that building.
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| # ? Nov 23, 2012 18:31 |
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My neighbors a long time ago tried to make/sell meth. I lived next to two Elementary schools, so that poo poo didn't last any time.
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| # ? Nov 23, 2012 19:53 |
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When I moved to Tennessee, I ended up living in front of one kid who can be best described as a dumbass hick. I hated him from the day we moved in, but my little brother was more outgoing and the same age as him, so he hung out with the little retard. A few years pass, we were all in high school and my brother gets a go-kart, this rugged, gold-painted sand rail-looking thing that he could tear up the back yard with. A couple of months later, it's gone. Some assholes made off with it in the night. The people who stole the thing were eventually arrested, but they had already sold it by the time they were caught. Turns out, the little neighbor kid was the lookout. Not only that, the cops either couldn't or wouldn't punish him because his dad was a jail-house snitch. After I dropped out of college, I moved back home. I'm back in the same crap trailer in front of that thieving little poo poo, but he moved out. His jackass family's still there, but at least he's not. Unfortunately, there's this green trailer right next door. It was at the end of this huge, fenced-off plot of land. The lady who lived there rarely left the property and when she did, she'd always leave the gate open so her dogs could roam the neighborhood. Now, I've owned three dogs and never fenced them in, so I don't have that much room to talk. However, an arthritic husky-chow mix, a horny chihuahua and a hyperactive spitz are not the same as a gang of pit bulls. And they were mean fuckers, too. They'd come from four different angles and slowly close in you. They weren't gun-shy, either. While our neighborhood's dealing with these dogs, there's a string of robberies. Each night passes, the break-ins happen closer and closer to our house. My dad's getting a bit paranoid, so he keeps his ears glued to the police scanner and his hands within reach of the shotgun. However, that doesn't stop him from working on his new dune buggy. As he's struggling with the brake pads, a white van with a big-screen hanging out the back peels out of the neighbor's driveway and crashes through an already mangled gate. Mind you, this is the middle of the loving day. He calls the cops and they're led on as high-speed a chase you can have with mountain roads and a goddamn van. They try to ditch it in the woods but the property they left the van on belonged to the brother of one of the burglars. So the cops swing by, take the woman in for questioning and to identify her things, I guess. She never came back. As it turns out, she was a crack dealer and the burglars were actually looking for her.
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| # ? Nov 23, 2012 22:28 |
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Oh boy. I lived above a batshit crazy extreme hoarder for a year and a half. This may get long. For the past five years or so, my partner and I have lived on the top floor of a very nice duplex. It's a single family home built in the 1860's and converted into apartments fairly recently, with modern appliances and wiring but tons of cool architectural detail. The neighborhood is really cool as well, with great people and lots of restaurants and shops within walking distance. Our landlord, Tom, is an awesome, very helpful guy who's been more than understanding the few times we've been a day or two late on rent. I would go so far as to say he's become a close, personal friend. In short, we absolutely love the place, and the only way we'd move in the foreseeable future is if we bought a house on the same block. For the first three years we lived here, we lived above a very sweet, quiet and considerate girl. We looked after each others' cats when one of us was out of town, signed for each others' packages and made pleasant small talk in the foyer. While we never exactly became friends, it was a sad day when she moved out to live with her girlfriend. After she left, Tom repainted, sanded the floors, and put in a new fridge and stove. The downstairs apartment is an absolutely stunning space and quite a bargain. However, it went up for rent at kind of a weird time of year, so sat vacant for quite a while. After a few false leads, Tom, probably a bit desperate to get the place rented, signed a lease agreement with Kathy. Always one to give people the benefit of the doubt, Tom only asked for a security deposit and employment verification. It'd worked out well for him in the past, so he saw no reason to deal with credit checks or anything. This would, of course, come back to bite him in the rear end. Kathy was from New Jersey, but wanted to move here (Maryland) to be closer to her sister. She'd found the place via Craigslist, paid the security deposit, and arranged to move in March 2011. While I wasn't to actually meet her for a few days, I saw red flags the first day the movers came. I came home from work to find the front porch and foyer absolutely packed with... stuff. My partner and I both have our collections, and our apartment is, to put it charitably, cluttered. However, everything we own could easily fit into a U-Haul. I was seeing at least a tractor-trailer's worth of... stuff, and that was just what was visible on the way up to my place. Odd, but I try not to be too judgmental, and it was a big apartment. That night, though, another red flag wove. Apparently Kathy had a dog, and decided it'd be a good idea to move him in before her. All night long, we heard the poor thing banging on the door and barking like he was scared for his life. My partner and I are huge animal lovers, and it was absolutely heartbreaking to hear him crying all night. The next morning, he was still going. When I met Kathy for the first time, she seemed nice, but odd. She didn't really make eye contact, and punctuated every sentence with a strange little giggle. Whatever, I'm shy too sometimes. We exchanged numbers and I told her when trash and recycling days were, as well as where things were around the neighborhood. I made the mistake of telling her that if she needed anything, she only had to ask. She worked nights as a security dispatcher, and my partner and I both work kind of odd hours as well, so we didn't run into each other very often at first. One day Kathy cornered him on the stairs to say she hadn't seen her cat in a few days, and could we keep an eye out for him? He passed the message along to me, and as I'm kind of a crazy cat lady, and the idea of an animal lost on a strange new city street is absolutely heartbreaking to me, I repeatedly went downstairs to look for him that night. Eventually, I found him! His name was Petey, and he was a very handsome boy. Unfixed (another red flag). While he wouldn't let me touch him, I was able to entice him into the building by shaking a bag of treats. Once I had him in the foyer, I called her to let her know I'd found him. She told me her apartment was unlocked and to just shove him in. I opened her door for a second and saw what looked like a warehouse. Boxes stacked almost to the ceiling, furniture haphazardly shoved together, and kind of an odd smell about the place. She'd been there about a month at that point. I understand it takes time to get settled in, but this seemed ridiculous. Still, can't judge! The cat seemed happy to be home. The next day, I saw him outside again. Other people in the neighborhood let their cats wander around, so perhaps she was just going with the flow. I personally don't let my cats any further than my balcony (under supervision), but I understand that not everyone is as overprotective as I am, so again, I tried not to judge. Not long after that, I began to notice another cat hanging around the front porch, a very sweet calico girl with a cleft palate. I assumed she was an exceptionally friendly denizen of the nearby catch/neuter/release feral colony and felt rather bad for her. I would pet her on my way in, and then thoroughly wash my hands as soon as I got inside, as she smelled simply awful. However, it soon became clear that she was actually Kathy's cat as well. She began to leave cans of horrible, cheap wet food on the front porch for the two cats to eat. These soon began to attract flies. Figuring Kathy was just working strange hours, I would pick them up and throw them in my recycle bin whenever I took it out. As my partner and I tend to just take the trash out when it's full and not discuss it, it took us a while to realize that we were the only ones taking trash out at all. Tom had provided several trash cans for the building, and every time I took the trash out, they were all empty. I'd take one out to the alley, and when I went to bring it back the next day, it was still the only one out there. I realized that since she'd moved in, I'd never seen any trash except what we'd taken out. Not long after that, I began to notice the smell. But this is already ridiculously long, so the rest of the story will have to wait.
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| # ? Nov 24, 2012 01:35 |
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| # ? May 18, 2013 12:41 |
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My next door neighbour is a 70-year old man with some sort of debilitating lung disease. I see oxygen getting delivered every couple of weeks. But I also see him chainsmoking. So while I do feel sorry for him, it is a limited kind of sympathy, because seriously, if the fags don't kill him by making his lungs all gooey, he's gonna set the oxygen cylinder alight and the whole block of flats will go explodo. His bedroom is separated from mine by a very thin wall. So from midnight to seven in the morning I'm treated to a variety of different, increasingly phlegmy and gruesome sounding coughs. But I've got good earplugs, so I can deal. It's really not the type of thing you complain about. I just thought he was a poor old soul and got on with it. Until I last week I'd never exchanged anything more than a wave and a smile with him. Then I got a note pushed through my door, completely out of the blue. Apparently he can hear my alarm clock at 7.30 in the morning and it needs to stop. Also, he can hear me opening and closing my chest of drawers and it's too noisy at that time of day. Bearing in mind that I can very clearly hear him coughing and shuffling about a good hour before my alarm goes off I was a bit puzzled. I knocked on his door, said it I was very sorry, but wasn't possible for me to not have an alarm clock. I was very polite about it, because you just can't be rude to a dude clutching two inhalers. He said I was harassing him and he was going to complain to his son, our local city councillor, and that I would be shamed and evicted for harrassing a terminally ill man. I've just checked, and our local councillor does in fact share the same unusual second name as my neighbour. Given that my citys' council is notoriously corrupt, filled with nepotism, favouritism and backhanders, I think I might be hosed.
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| # ? Nov 24, 2012 01:46 |
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