F1 2012-13 Offseason Worst Thread: Ferdie Got Fingered, Satan versus morals

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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium* > F1 2012-13 Offseason Worst Thread: Ferdie Got Fingered, Satan versus morals

krushgroove: Oct 22, 2007; WOO! Yeah!
We ROCK!

Welp, he did it again

Welcome to Formula 1, the only sport in the world that can bankrupt entire economic regions in the pursuit of watching small men drive fast cars. This is the off-season rumor-mongering and argument thread, where we can argue about the season just finished and amuse ourselves with thinking that our favorite team/driver will somehow do well next season.

I'm new to this, what the hell is going on?
No doubt the 2012 US Grand Prix in Austin will bring some new viewers to the sport. In future this section will have a very quick primer on what the sport is about. But start with these links for now:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Formula_One
http://www.formula1.com/inside_f1/u...ding_the_sport/

Driver Changes for 2013*

code:

Red Bull	Vettel		Webber			No changes		 
Ferrari		Alonso		Massa			No changes		
McLaren		Button		Perez			Lewis to Mercedes	
Lotus		Raikonnen	Grosjean  		No changes			
Mercedes	Rosberg		Hamilton 	 	Schumi out; Lewis in	
Sauber		Hulkenberg	Gutierrez (rookie)	Perez to McLaren; Kobayashi out
Force India 	DiResta		?????			Hulkenberg to Sauber; Kobayashi/Alguersuari/Sutil in?????
Williams	Maldonado 	Bottas (rookie)		Senna out; BOTTAS in 	 
Toro Rosso	Vergne		Ricciardo		No changes
Caterham 	Pic		van der Garde (rookie) 	Kovaleinen out
Marussia 	Chilton (rookie)Razia (rookie)		Glock out; we're supposed to hate Chilton and no one knows who Razia is
HRT							no buyer, the team is no more

*subject to news updates, list is far from final

other drivers:
Senna: off to the World Endurance Championship
Glock: no cash that the team needs
Kovaleinen: most likely not in F1
Kobayashi: most likely not in F1
Schumacher: still rollin' in cash and enjoying his ranch/cars/houses

Rule Changes for 2013
A quick summary:

No more unlimited DRS during qualifying - can only be used in the DRS zones which are used during the race
Most or all tracks will have 2 DRS zones
The noses of the cars are allowed to have 'modesty panels' that would cover up the stupid step-up design - any teams that use the optional panels will surely use them if it provides and aero benefit
The testing procedure for the floor will be stricter, so teams can't curve the floor for an aero advantage
No more F-duct front wings
The DRS can't be used to do anything like what Mercedes and Lotus were trying to do (stall the front wing, etc.)

It remains to be seen if there will be any surprises from Newey or other designers for 2013 (there probably will be).

2014
The big change in the rules comes in the 2014 season, when smaller turbo engines (1.6 liter V6) and a ~~number of~~ no new car design changes come into play. The teams will all be busy on their 2013 cars but with an eye to '14 from about Spain onwards, so teams that are updating their cars all the way to the last race of 2013 (because they're fighting for WCC or WDC position) could have a disadvantage getting their 2014 car up to speed. Apart from the engines, the '14 cars will have very low noses, narrower front wings and shorter rear wings, so the cars will definitely look much different and harken back to the 90's cars before the Benetton high nose became the thing to do.

For a quick look at what the 2014 cars and regulations would have looked like, just have a look here: http://scarbsf1.com/blog1/category/2013-rules/

2012 Final Driver Standings

code:

1	 Sebastian Vettel	
2	 Fernando Alonso	
3	 Kimi Räikkönen	
4	 Lewis Hamilton	
5	 Jenson Button	
6	 Mark Webber	
7	 Felipe Massa	
8	 Romain Grosjean	
9	 Nico Rosberg	
10	 Sergio Perez	
11	 Nico Hulkenberg	
12	 Kamui Kobayashi	
13	 Michael Schumacher	
14	 Paul di Resta	
15	 Pastor Maldonado	
16	 Bruno Senna	
17	 Jean-Eric Vergne	
18	 Daniel Ricciardo	
19	 Vitaly Petrov	
20	 Timo Glock	
21	 Charles Pic	
22	 Heikki Kovalainen	
23	 Jerome D'Ambrosio	
24	 Narain Karthikeyan	
25	 Pedro de la Rosa

2012 Final Team Standings:

code:

1	Red Bull Racing-Renault	
2	Ferrari	
3	McLaren-Mercedes	
4	Lotus-Renault	
5	Mercedes	
6	Sauber-Ferrari	
7	Force India-Mercedes	
8	Williams-Renault	
9	STR-Ferrari	
10	Caterham-Renault	
11	Marussia-Cosworth	
12	HRT-Cosworth

2013 Car Release Dates, wherein we decide which car will be fastest based on the shape of its nose

code:

[b]Team          Date [/b]
Lotus         January 28 [url]http://www.autosport.com/news/report.php/id/105310[/url]
McLaren       January 31 [url]http://www.autosport.com/news/report.php/id/105339[/url]
Ferrari       February 1 [url]http://www.autosport.com/news/report.php/id/105354[/url]
Force India   February 1 [url]http://www.autosport.com/news/report.php/id/105357[/url]
Sauber        February 2 [url]http://www.autosport.com/news/report.php/id/105374[/url]
Red Bull      February 3 [url]http://www.autosport.com/news/report.php/id/105381[/url]
Mercedes      February 4 [url]http://www.autosport.com/news/report.php/id/105389[/url]
Toro Rosso    February 4 
Caterham      February 5
Marussia      February 5

Williams      February 19

2013 Testing, wherein we will be able to determine who will be fastest and slowest for the rest of the year

code:

Venue         Date 
Jerez         5-8 February 
Barcelona     19-22 February 
Barcelona     28 February-3 March

The 2013 Calendar
No new tracks, New Jersey still TBC for 2014

code:

01	 Australia (Melbourne)	 15 - 17 Mar
02	 Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)	 22 - 24 Mar
03	 China (Shanghai)	 12 - 14 Apr
04	 Bahrain (Sakhir)	 19 - 21 Apr
05	 Spain (Catalunya)	 10 - 12 May
06	 Monaco (Monte Carlo)	 24 - 26 May
07	 Canada (Montréal)	 07 - 09 Jun
08	 Great Britain (Silverstone)	 28 - 30 Jun
09	 Germany (TBA)	 12 - 14 Jul
10	 Hungary (Budapest)	 26 - 28 Jul
11	 Belgium (Spa-Francorchamps)	 23 - 25 Aug
12	 Italy (Monza)	 06 - 08 Sep
13	 Singapore (Singapore)	 20 - 22 Sep
14	 Korea (Yeongam)	 04 - 06 Oct
15	 Japan (Suzuka)	 11 - 13 Oct
16	 India (New Delhi)	 25 - 27 Oct
17	 Abu Dhabi (Yas Marina)	 01 - 03 Nov
18	 United States (Austin)	 15 - 17 Nov
19	 Brazil (São Paulo)	 22 - 24 Nov

The only sites to trust with official F1 news:
Official Formula One site Twitter: @F1
Autosport Twitter: @autosportnews
F1 Racing magazine Twitter: @F1Racing_mag
BBC F1 @bbcf1feed
New Sky Sports F1

All or most other sites should be considered rumor and speculation.

Journalists and other sites that provide useful info:
http://www.jamesallenonf1.com/ (former commentator for ITV in the UK, now has this site and does interviews for Australian TV) Twitter: @Jamesallenonf1
http://willthef1journo.wordpress.com/ (pit reporter for SPEED in the US) Twitter: @willbuxton
http://joesaward.wordpress.com/ (controversial but sometimes informative F1 journo, he's done some good books as well) Twitter: @JoesAward

Technical stuff:
http://www.formula1.com/news/technical/

Race edits:
http://www.formula1.com/video/ The official F1 race edits are just a few minutes long, and often feature clips and audio that aren't seen or heard during the normal broadcast

Previous Threads - for posterity, and for looking up the 2006 Indy GP or for quoting something really really out of context to prove you're right, dammit!
2012 season
2011-12 Off-season
2011 Part 2
2011 Part 1
2011 Breakaway (stop talking about phones!)
2010-2011 Off Season
2010 Part 2
2010 Part 1
2009-2010 Off season
2009 News and Views
2009 Part 2
2009 Breakaway Thread
2009 Part 1
2008-2009 Off season
2008 Part 3
2008 Part 2
2008 Part 1
2007-2008 Off season
2007 Part 3
2007 Part 2
2007 Part 1
2006 Part 5
2006 Part 4
2006 Part 3
2006 Part 2
2006 Part 1
2005 Part WTF
2005 Whole Season
2004 Whole Season

krushgroove fucked around with this message at Feb 11, 2013 around 11:08

# ? Nov 25, 2012 20:34

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2013 17:39

krushgroove: Oct 22, 2007; WOO! Yeah!
We ROCK!

Herein are detailed the various off-season controversies:
Late November 2012 - Did Vettel pass a Toro Rosso under a yellow, potentially giving him a 20-second penalty and Alonso the WDC? Answer: Haha no, GTFO Ferrari
Early December - Bernie being called 'old' by Luca Montezelemo
Late January - Paddy Lowe being poached by Mercedes from McLaren, and Brawn and Fry possibly getting the boot from Mercedes
Late February - after no second driver announcement, Force India may have finally settled on someone!

Jerez testing results:
Vettel fastest
Massa 'wowed' by Button's pace
Mercedes very happy with Hamilton (and Hamilton realistic about his new car)
Raikkonen's liking the Lotus more and more
Alonso didn't test

krushgroove fucked around with this message at Feb 27, 2013 around 15:26

# ? Nov 25, 2012 20:34

Fag Boy Jim: Oct 7, 2007; unban longavs

That race owned.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 20:36

MC Fruit Stripe: Nov 26, 2002; When life gives you lemons DANCE DANCE DANCE!

Paid in part by CF

Vettel.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 20:36

go3: Dec 20, 2006

Lewis who

# ? Nov 25, 2012 20:44

skander: Apr 17, 2003

Any word on whether Will Buxton will be going along to NBC?

# ? Nov 25, 2012 20:45

keevo: Jun 16, 2011

skander posted:

Any word on whether Will Buxton will be going along to NBC?

I think it's everyone that isn't Varsha.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 20:58

Ghost of Mussolini: Jun 26, 2011

go3 posted:

Lewis who

Lewis Button this years moral champion

# ? Nov 25, 2012 21:04

Sashimi: Dec 26, 2008

Fernando Alonso is the champion of my heart, for getting that (relatively) lovely Ferrari where it is.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 21:15

El Hefe: Oct 31, 2006; my boys

MC Fruit Stripe posted:

Vettel.

gently caress him.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 21:15

Sebastian Vettel: Jul 1, 2012; A ring ding ding ding ding

Webber only managed sixth in that car? He was beating Vettel around midseason! Whatever the opposite of moral champion is, Webber's a strong contender.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 21:18

enri: Dec 15, 2003; A moment of laxity spawns a lifetime of heresy. Never forget, never forgive.

Mclaren are the moral WCC for being the only top running team to not have that rear end ugly kinked nose.

Vettel is one jammy son of a bitch that that 1st lap incident didn't just wipe him out. Alonso WDC 2013

# ? Nov 25, 2012 21:21

El Hefe: Oct 31, 2006; my boys

Vettel has had every single thing go his way for the last three years, he's the luckiest person on earth, that poo poo can't last for long, it just can't.

right?

# ? Nov 25, 2012 21:24

enri: Dec 15, 2003; A moment of laxity spawns a lifetime of heresy. Never forget, never forgive.

El Hefe posted:

Vettel has had every single thing gone his way for the last three years, he's the luckiest person on earth, that poo poo can't last for long, it just can't.

right?

I thought the start of this season was the turning point, he didn't just romp away with race win after race win and I thought that the time had come for his luck to run out, how wrong I was

# ? Nov 25, 2012 21:25

Dr. Ohnoman: Jan 6, 2011; I'm the director and this is the director's cut

Looks like Heikki took Piercarlo Ghinzani's old record of most consecutive races without points, not having scored in 60 races.

Tim O'Glock will probably break this record next year, though; he's currently at 55.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 21:26

El Hefe: Oct 31, 2006; my boys

I bet he just wins every race next season, he'll let Webber win at Abu Dhabi or some poo poo.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 21:27

krushgroove: Oct 22, 2007; WOO! Yeah!
We ROCK!

enri posted:

Mclaren are the moral WCC for being the only top running team to not have that rear end ugly kinked nose.

Marussia also didn't have the stupid stepped nose, but they're on the screen so rarely it's easy to forget.

Is the Speed TV Debrief any good to watch? Or the Goodbyes? Never seen them, just curious.

Also, I think I may have made this new thread too early - it does kind of have a spoiler in the title. I hope anyone watching the highlights or catching the race later in the evening or Monday doesn't hate me too much. I feel bad about that

# ? Nov 25, 2012 21:31

serious gaylord: Sep 16, 2007; Winner, Best Scale Model Painter on SA, 2013

Lmao cant believe Hamilton got taken out in the lead again.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 21:31

aequalis: Aug 11, 2010; Fernando is smugger than you. Can you confirm you understand that message?

It breaks my heart that the results are as they are, but surely everyone was ready for it and expected it.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 21:35

keevo: Jun 16, 2011

Even Stefano agrees that Alonso is the moral champion.

http://www.f1fanatic.co.uk/2012/11/...hip-domenicali/

# ? Nov 25, 2012 21:49

be nice wicka: Jun 28, 2007; Bowl Eligible

El Hefe posted:

Vettel has had every single thing go his way for the last three years, he's the luckiest person on earth, that poo poo can't last for long, it just can't.

right?

I have never in my life see an F1 car take two hits as hard as Vettel did and not only continue for the rest of the race, but be one of the fastest cars on track. loving unbelievable.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 21:53

serious gaylord: Sep 16, 2007; Winner, Best Scale Model Painter on SA, 2013

gently caress off wicka posted:

I have never in my life see an F1 car take two hits as hard as Vettel did and not only continue for the rest of the race, but be one of the fastest cars on track. loving unbelievable.

It was very annoying fyi.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 21:57

HJB: Feb 16, 2011; hendry's jaunty brow

Maybe Newey will go off and design tanks next year or something.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 22:02

marsisol: Mar 29, 2010

So who won our annual goon contests?

Season owned.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 22:04

Aqualung: Oct 10, 2005; Don't worry guys, Ron knows the guy who drives the crane.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 22:06

Kilonum: Sep 30, 2002; After that, it's all a bit...........fuzzy...

Other changes for 2013: US Broadcaster changes from Fox/Speed to NBC/NBC Sports

# ? Nov 25, 2012 22:09

Pr0kjayhawk: Nov 30, 2002; Zoom Zoom, motherfuckers

Newey will finally switch to CAD next year and the car will be terrible.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 22:09

Semprini: Sep 28, 2004

Since we all moan about boring Tilkedromes (and then actually quite enjoy the races on them - sometimes), a quick question for you all: If you had full control of the calendar, what 20 tracks would you pick to make up a season?

# ? Nov 25, 2012 22:26

NtotheTC: Dec 31, 2007; Eloquent as fuck!

Semprini posted:

Since we all moan about boring Tilkedromes (and then actually quite enjoy the races on them - sometimes), a quick question for you all: If you had full control of the calendar, what 20 tracks would you pick to make up a season?

Abu Dhabi, 20 times.

That way if Vettel wins again at least noone will be watching.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 22:31

Aindriu: Mar 1, 2008; ٩๏̯͡๏)۶

As much as I loving hate watching Vettel race, between that race and Abu Dhabi, he deserves the title.

JB wdc 2013 calling it now.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 22:33

Phone: Jul 30, 2005; brb, shortcut

NASCAR ovals. All of them.

500 miles.

e: Laguna Seca Reverse to watch all of the cars jump the fence.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 22:34

novak: Aug 8, 2006; Turnin' on the screw

Can someone make a gif out of that part where Vettel passes under yellow flags and steals the championship?

So bitter.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 22:36

NtotheTC: Dec 31, 2007; Eloquent as fuck!

Aindriu posted:

As much as I loving hate watching Vettel race, between that race and Abu Dhabi, he deserves the title.

2 races do not a champion make. It's stupid to talk in terms of a "moral" champion or "deserving" the title, as much as it makes us feel better. In the end the fastest driver/car/team combo wins the championship. That's sport.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 22:39

Aqualung: Oct 10, 2005; Don't worry guys, Ron knows the guy who drives the crane.

Semprini posted:

Since we all moan about boring Tilkedromes (and then actually quite enjoy the races on them - sometimes), a quick question for you all: If you had full control of the calendar, what 20 tracks would you pick to make up a season?

1. Albert Park
2. Malaysia
3. Suzuka
4. Imola
5. Monza
6. Spa
7. Hockenheim
8. Magny Cours
9. COTA
10. Canada
11. Sao Paulo
12. A1 Ring (or Red Bull Ring or whatever it's called now)
13. Zolder (would be cool in the same way as Monza really)
14. Laguna Seca (or Mosport)
15. New Silverstone
16. Old Barcelona (2000ish)

# ? Nov 25, 2012 22:50

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly representing vanilla Legends since 1994

Aqualung posted:

It appears the 2012 Annoying Twat of the Year Contest was a dead heat.

Answering Semprini's question seriously, the best 20 race season would IMO comprise:

Monaco
Belgium (Spa-Francorchamps)
Britain (Silverstone)
Brazil (Interlagos)
San Marino
Abu Dhabi
Singapore
Malaysia
Australia (Albert Park)
Germany (Nurburgring)
Japan (Suzuka)
Austria (A1 Ring)
Netherlands
Hungary
Italy (Monza)
Portugal (Estoril)
Argentina (Buenos Aires)
USA (Circuit of the Americas)
Canada (Gilles Villeneuve)
Spain (Catalunya)

It's a bit Euro-centric with 11 races there, but there's four in the Americas and four in APAC. Abu Dhabi stays because it's a spectacle to look at and it's the twilight race.

If anyone else wants a go, there's a list of all F1 circuits past and present (excluding Austin) with maps here.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 22:53

Sulman: Apr 29, 2003; What did you do that for?

El Hefe posted:

Vettel has had every single thing go his way for the last three years, he's the luckiest person on earth, that poo poo can't last for long, it just can't.

right?

2000-2004...

Actually, joking aside, this reminded me a little of Schumacher's 2003 campaign. Poor start, lots of different race winners, but then his march up the point table took on this inevitable character, and he clinched the title with a lukewarm eighth in the finale.

It's hard to stomach if you don't like a driver (trust me, I was in that place during the Ferrari/Schumacher years) but it is not impossible that he will just keep on winning for a long time.

That being said, things can change quickly in F1, but given the regs right now I'd look to 2014 for anything really different. Can't see the order changing much next year.

Sulman fucked around with this message at Nov 25, 2012 around 23:13

# ? Nov 25, 2012 23:05

George Zimmer: Jun 28, 2008; But who among us shall rescue the ambulance?

One of the most exciting races of the season IMO. Was really glad to see Hulk have such a good run, if only temporary. I think he'll do well at Sauber.

Do you guys think Grosjeans crash will threaten his chances at a new Lotus contract?

Also, I really, really hope they drop Korea.

# ? Nov 25, 2012 23:09