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Godholio posted:Capt SC was promoted to civilian in the 2012 RIF. Well at least they got one right. I don't have any specific dumbass stories, but I do have a lot of collective dumb ammo stories (also some collective dumb/weird foreign stories). Here's a good one...so we deliver chaff/flare mods (the individual magazines loaded with sticks of chaff and/or flare) out to the flightline in what are called transport mods (mods for short...yes, it can get a little confusing), which are rectangular boxes with a door that are mounted on top of a trailer. (I tried to find a picture but couldn't...just picture a big metal rectangular box with little shelves inside that has a big swingout door on it.) So the important thing for this story is that the individual mods don't have any retention mechanism inside other than the door; it would be too complicated and add too much time to removing each individual mod, and besides it's not like you should be driving around with the doors open anyway. Well unfortunately the designers of these did not take the stupidity of ammo troops into account, because there was a rash of incidents where people were spilling chaff/flare mods all over the road or flightline because they forgot to latch the doors and went around a turn or whatever where the doors came open and the mods therefore came flying out. When I say "rash" I mean this thing was at seriously epidemic levels...at one point we were getting at least one per month of someone around the AF dumping chaff/flare mods because they didn't latch the door. We even had one up here, although fortunately it was just chaff and not flare so instead of having to call out EOD to safe something that burns at 2,000 degrees there was just little aluminum fuzz blowing all over the place. So the AF munitions handling focal point down at Eglin gets to work solving the problem....after a couple months of deliberations and testing (which cost the govt a shitload of money, I am sure) they come up with a solution: they will install an additional internal latch on the doors that will latch automatically when the doors are shut and act as a fail-safe, so even if you forget to latch the (huge, blindingly obvious) external latch, as long as the door is shut completely the internal latch should hold it shut. Problem solved, right? Not so much. Despite there being a crash program undertaken to immediately install these latches (when I say crash, I mean it occurred across a period of like 6 months) the incidents continue. Somehow idiots are both failing to latch the (again, huge and blindingly obvious) external latch but they are also shutting the doors in a way that doesn't engage the (supposedly automatic) internal latch, or the internal latch is failing, or something, because the rate at which people are dumping chaff/flare on the ground not only remained the same, it actually increased. So the munitions handling focal point gets back to work, and comes up with another solution: they will mount the transport mods on little ramps, so when they sit on the trailer they will sit inclined about 5 degrees or so towards the center of the trailer, so even if the doors are completely unlatched you would have to take a pretty tight corner with some serious speed to get enough force to have the doors come open (like we're talking speeds that really shouldn't even be possible in a bobtail towing a loaded trailer). It works, but the transport mods look goofy as poo poo sitting on trailers canted in like that, which I think is a fitting monument to the institutional stupidity of the ammo career field. So I said I didn't have any individual stories, but I take that back, I've got two. First one...there was this guy who used to work up here who looked very similar to Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket. This should've been enough to set off alarm bells. However, when he was "deployed" to Guam with a TSP, he decided that it would be appropriate to start masturbating in his room with the door unlocked (he had a roommate). And I'm not talking like "ha ha, I'll intentionally masturbate when I know he's coming back because he'll walk in and it will be awkward and funny," I'm talking it just didn't occur to him that his roommate might walk in while he was taking care of business. The SECOND time this happened he was doing it to some sort of children's cartoon with semi-scantily clad females (think like Sailor Moon or something), and it wasn't while he roommate was out of the room, it was while he was taking a loving shower. Keep in mind it isn't like he's deployed to the desert where he could at least ostensibly say he didn't have any porn because of GO #1, he was on Guam...broadband internet connection and he could have brought all the porn he wanted with him, not to mention the brothels fronting as strip clubs right out the gate. But no, he's pounding it in his dorm room to a children's cartoon. After the second time, his roommate brought it up the chain who took it to the deployed shirt. The shirt was female. When she came calling to chat about personal boundaries and professionalism (i.e., don't masturbate in front of your roommate), our intrepid airman answered the door naked, flushed, and out of breath (thankfully he at least didn't have an erection.) Pretty sure he got an LOC for all that, and he only stayed in for one enlistment so he's now out of the AF (so at least he made one smart decision in life.) Next one involves vehicles, which are the bane of any ammo leadership's existence because there hasn't been a vehicle built that ammo hasn't found a new and inventive way to destroy. There's of course the run of the mill accidents, banging vehicles up plowing snow, running into buildings, stuff like that...my favorite from that category is when they almost unintentionally blew up the admin building out at storage. Our storage facility is separate from the main bomb dump way out in the middle of the woods (so we can store large amounts of explosives), so they have a propane or natural gas or whatever tank like you would see on a rural farmhouse. For some reason the line from this tank to the admin building was ABOVE GROUND, so when they were running a plow truck through there they unintentionally clipped the line and sprung a gas leak. However, there are some airmen who stand above the rest in their ability to gently caress up vehicles. This SrA was one of them. In his couple of years here he wrecked a couple six pax pickups, a couple bobtails, a 6K standard forklift, a 10K AT forklift (twice), and was the reason a deuce and a half got all hosed up pulling into the storage building (he was spotting). The two most noteworthy are the deuce incident and the time he broke the AT's windshield. Like I said, he was spotting the deuce (not an actual M35, it was a commercial truck with a flatbed that was right around the same weight class as the M35, hence it being referred to as a deuce). The storage building was kind of small, so in order for the truck to fully clear the roll up door had to be all the way up. This particular day the door was not in fact all the way up, so as he stood by spotting and watching, the driver drove the truck into the door, loving up both the door and the exhaust stack on the truck. The 10K incident was when it got stuck in snow...so instead of calling mobile joe or someone with actual equipment and training to pull it out, he decides to do it himself with another AT. He decides to use a tie down strap. All is going well until he takes it under tension...whatever that tow strap was rated for was nowhere near the dynamic force of using one 10K AT to pull out another 10K AT, so the strap failed catastrophically and flew back with enough force that it broke the windshield on one of the ATs. After that he wasn't allowed anywhere near vehicles. I'll give it some more thought tonight and probably have some foreigner RF-A stories later. iyaayas01 fucked around with this message at 00:02 on Nov 29, 2012 |
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Nov 28, 2012 23:59
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Oh, here's a short and sweet one: apparently calling a PME instructor a oval office will get you booted from ALS.
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Nov 30, 2012 09:23
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Godholio posted:Oh man that would've been a fun conversation if it was one of my guys. "Now, explain to me the thought process that ended with: I know! I'll call her a oval office! That'll improve the situation!" I think I would have no choice but to use the word repeatedly throughout the counseling, just to make it as awkward as humanly possible. It happened a few months after I left the bomb dump, so I didn't get to have that conversation, but if I had I would've done the same thing. Bathroom naps are the right of every Airman, though.
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Dec 1, 2012 05:59
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GD_American posted:iyaayas is our unofficial USAF historian I'd love to hear his take on it What you posted is accurate generally, but it gets a lot of the details wrong; given that it is from Annie Jacobson's book I am not surprised that it got most of the details wrong (there is so much wrong with her book I don't even know where to begin.) If you are interested in the Red Eagles (the USAF/USN/USMC pilots who flew MiGs as aggressors), Red Eagles: America's Secret MiGs by Steve Davies is really worth a read. It also goes into some of the AFSC MiG exploitation programs as well, and it also touches on Bond's mishap, and Davies is pretty much the guy when it comes to the history of the program...he got serious access and interviews from almost all the major players. As for what is wrong in the bit you posted, for starters the MiG program wasn't at "Area 51" (Groom Lake.) The MiGs did operate out of there occasionally and used it as a divert field, but the primary base for them was at Tonopah. The USAF actually did a bit of a bait and switch where they had planned from the start to base the MiGs and F-117s simultaneously at Tonopah; they crafted a cover story for the MiGs at Tonopah, then as the MiGs gradually became more grey world instead of pure black (more and more pilots had been exposed to the point where the MiGs were basically an open secret among tactical pilots in the military by the mid to late '80s, and Aviation Week and Space Technology did a story on the MiGs in the '80s as well, before Bond's crash) the MiG cover story/the MiGs themselves became the cover story for the F-117s at Tonopah (one example of this is that the majority of the F-117 facility build-up at Tonopah was funded by F-117 money, but it was done under the aegis of the Red Eagles program). So it was basically a cover story within a cover story. Others have touched on the chain, but both the Red Eagles and F-117 were straight USAF; it wasn't like the U-2 where the CIA was involved at the start. The F-117 started off with AFSC (R&D command) and then TAC (tactical combat command) got involved as it approached IOC. The Red Eagles were a TAC initiative, where the MiGs were flown as aggressors; this was in contrast to the other MiG programs, which were run by AFSC (usually in conjunction with DIA) and were exploitation directed (they flew the aircraft to discover weaknesses, how it performed technically against U.S. radar/electronics, etc.) The Red Eagles had the bulk of the MiGs, as they were doing more flying (multiple sorties every day to support Red Flag and Weapons School sorties, as opposed to the more occasional AFSC exploitation sorties.) Most of the AFSC sorties took place out of Edwards, and the programs were more or less separate, but there was cross-flow between the two, both with information/expertise/data (especially for the maintainers) and sometimes aircraft/pilots. As for General Bond's incident, he kind of pulled rank, but it isn't really as bad as it sounds. IIRC this wasn't that unheard of, as another couple of other senior officers did it...the thought process was that they needed to get the experience of the aircraft to be able to effectively advocate for it/fully appreciate the need for it (especially when it came to funding)/etc. The typical profile for this kind of flight was what the Red Eagles called an "orientation" flight...it was what the Red Eagles would fly on their first couple of sorties flying a type of MiG: an experienced check pilot would go up in a chase T-38 while the student pilot (or senior officer) would put the MiG through some basic maneuver. Given General Bond's position as AFSC Vice, as I alluded to above he would've been a) read in on the Red Eagles, and b) actually had something to do with the MiG programs in general. Additionally, the way Jacobson writes it makes it sound like he was out there to see the F-117 and just happened to see the MiGs and was like "ooh, shiny MiGs, I want to fly one." That wasn't it at all; his visit was primarily intended to touch base with the Red Eagles, so the plan always was for him to get some flying time with the MiGs. My understanding is that his mishap took place on the second of two orientation flights (if I had my copy of Red Eagles with me I could confirm this), which called for a high speed run. The only real fault here is that Bond got a little carried away with the speed and exceeded the speed he was supposed to be at and departed controlled flight...if I had my copy of Red Eagles I could tell you the specifics but there was some kind of a friction lock on the throttle of the MiG-23 where once you pushed past a certain speed the lock engaged so you couldn't quickly pull back on the throttle, because the rapid deceleration from those high speeds could could cause the engine to break loose from its mounts (which would be bad, obviously). So once you were past a certain speed you were kind of along for the ride for a certain period of time because you had to slowly decelerate. IIRC Bond got going too fast and got in over his head/task saturated to the point where he forgot about/didn't realize the friction lock was engaged and wasn't able to slow down, then departed controlled flight and was forced to eject while still supersonic. As I kind of alluded to above it's pretty unfair to make it sound like the USAF had to out the MiG's because of this crash because by the time Bond crashed the Red Eagles were an open secret anyway, and making it sound like they did so to keep the F-117 secret is a bit of a superfluous statement because by that point the Red Eagles were explicitly intended as part of the F-117s cover story. I mean, by this point the Soviets knew we were flying MiGs at Tonopah...what they didn't know (and what wasn't revealed because of Bond's crash) was what we were doing with those MiGs, which was the Red Eagle aggressor program. That particular detail (which was the most significant piece of the puzzle) would remain more or less secret until the program was declassified in '06. Bottom line is that while Bond screwed up, making it sound like he was some "yeehaw kick the tires light the fires" cowboy that singlehandedly put 5 different top secret programs at risk is more than a bit of an exaggeration...which isn't really surprising coming from Jacobson, since her entire book is basically one long half-truth strung together with gossip and innuendo (can you tell that I really really don't like her book?) I mean, for gently caress's sake, the big "reveal" at the end of her book is that the aliens at Roswell were Soviet midgets genetically engineered to look like aliens by former Nazi scientists for Stalin that Stalin intentionally crash-landed in a flying saucer of Soviet design in an attempt to spook the U.S. and that this would somehow impact the Cold War because...? Note: I am not exaggerating or making up any of that last bit, that is all legitimately in her book...just one of the many reasons I think her book is garbage. Caveat: I'm in the middle of a PCS so I don't have access to Red Eagles or any of my other books, so I'm going off of memory here, but I'm pretty sure that all of that is more or less correct. e: Broke up one of the wall of text paragraphs, and man, the more I read Jacobson's article the more annoyed I get. I take back what I said at the top about her getting it generally right...other than the fact that Bobby Bond was a three star general who crashed a MiG-23 somewhere in Nevada, pretty much none of what she wrote is correct. Just to footstomp one little detail that I kind of only alluded to above, "Area 52" (Tonopah) wasn't like this mirror image of Area 51 that was constructed specifically to house the F-117 like Jacobson says. The Red Eagles were there for a couple of years before the F-117 program was even a thing (back when it was still Have Blue) and then the Red Eagles were established as the F-117 program was getting off the ground; like I said above the Red Eagles were part of the cover for the F-117 program. Godholio posted:Frankly if you can successfully launch one, get the chute/streamer to open, AND actually recover the loving thing without dodging traffic/angry landowners, you deserve a ribbon.  This is kind of the truth. iyaayas01 fucked around with this message at 09:05 on Dec 4, 2012 |
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Dec 4, 2012 08:54
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HATE CURES TRANNYS posted:I'm not innocent from idiocy though. I once knocked a fence over on a FOB because I got out of a humvee. It was in reverse. I didn't set the brake. This reminds me, here's another Ammo and vehicles story. There was an intrepid (although not very intelligent) airman who apparently took vehicle checkout procedures very seriously. He was checking out a bobtail (basically a chopped off pickup truck that is geared really low that the AF uses for towing poo poo like munitions trailers, power carts, other pieces of AGE/GSE, etc), but didn't have anybody with him. Since the checkout procedures require you to verify that the reverse lights (which only come on when the vehicle is shifted into reverse) work, and since as I said he took vehicle checkout procedures very seriously, he came up with the brilliant idea to chock the vehicle, put the vehicle in reverse, and then walk behind the bobtail to verify that the lights were functioning. The bobtail jumped the chocks and ran him over. He lived, but IIRC he had some pretty hosed up ribs and a few other fairly serious injuries Godholio posted:During this deployment, HP got the good news...the wing commander gave him a Definite Promote to major, basically guaranteeing him a promotion on his first look. How the gently caress does a guy who lost his primary duty qualification TWICE in a year get a DP? Simple: that doesn't show up on the OPR (performance report). He looks AMAZING on paper. He will probably be an O-5 in a couple of years, but probably no higher than Director of Operations in a sq, where he'll demonstrate his incompetence and end his career, and probably ruin a squadron in the process. Man, your leadership hosed up on that one. I know everyone always complains that "everyone looks good on paper, OPRs are a joke, blah blah blah" but there are ways, both on paper and through less formal channels, to send the message that even if someone looks good on paper they shouldn't get things like a DP. Either your WG/CC/the people he has working for him doing DPs is an idiot (possible, given that this is Tinker/AWACS we're talking about), your squadron leadership are idiots and didn't think to try and send that message, they intentionally didn't send that message because they wanted HP to get promoted, or any combination of the above.
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Dec 5, 2012 03:28
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Mr. Samuel Shitley posted:If this dipshit was so high speed about vehicles why did he abandon a running vehicle in gear? I wouldn't do that in my own personal car for christs sake, gently caress a regulation that's just common sense. I was mostly being sarcastic with the taking it really seriously...although you'd have to want to be pretty drat thorough about checking a vehicle out to do that, common sense be damned. And I don't know what the kid said after the fact because it happened at Eielson a little while before I got to Elmendorf, so I heard it third hand...but I heard it from like 5 different people and a guy I knew who was up there when it happened later confirmed it to me, so it definitely happened and isn't some urban legend.
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Dec 5, 2012 10:50
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Reverand maynard posted:probably a country that uses AKs. Also possibly from a Middle Eastern Gulf state...that whole "gently caress it, it's just money and I've got a shitload of that" mentality just smacks of an officer from the UAE or Saudi or somewhere similar.
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Dec 6, 2012 03:31
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Martello posted:Has anyone else here had the extreme misfortune of working with Saudi or other Persian Gulf military officers? Biggest shitbags ever. I totally believe them doing poo poo like burying weapons and so on. At the MCCC in Benning we had a few Saudis and none of them did a drat thing during Battalion Week when everyone works together as a staff. gently caress those guys. The guy I went to tech school with from the UAE wasn't a shitbag really, he was actually pretty cool...he just had no conception of money. At all. He rented a BMW SUV the entire two months he was there out of pocket (apparently he also had a BMW SUV for the couple of months prior to that when he was attending another course), and then he got our instructor a $500 watch as a going away/end of class gift like it was nothing. Incidentally the instructor was fairly certain he couldn't accept the watch since that violates the DoD Instruction on foreign gifts by about like $480, but then he was like I'm retiring in 6 months, I don't give a gently caress. I've heard that before about the Saudis specifically, though, as far as being lazy shitbags. iyaayas01 fucked around with this message at 05:32 on Dec 6, 2012 |
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Dec 6, 2012 05:30
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Hahahahahaha...Ammo.txt right there.
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Dec 11, 2012 23:41
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Everything the U.S. military does has been, and continues to be, performed by literal retards. There are literal retards in every MOS/rate/AFSC/etc.
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Dec 26, 2012 04:15
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Mr. Nice! posted:Raaaahhh stopping power raaaaaaaaahh The fawtuh-five was good enough for grand-pappy, by golly it oughta be good enough for me  .And the Mx4 is actually not a terrible idea...I didn't realize Beretta was making those. Although the one thing my uneducated rear end sees as a possible problem is the design doesn't really lend itself to a collapsible stock or any other quick/easy way to adjust length of pull (yeah, there's the spacers on the butt but that's something that requires a screwdriver and can't just be done on the fly, and it also doesn't really change all that much). No idea if/how much of a problem that would be, though.
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Dec 27, 2012 03:26
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GD_American posted:Imagine if nobody found out about it until after someone had a hot report come back from the lab. It's every ADC's dream come true. \/ If the ADC in question is remotely competent they'll sure as hell try to \/ iyaayas01 fucked around with this message at 19:24 on Feb 3, 2013 |
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Feb 3, 2013 19:09
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Godholio posted:Also the Navy is dumb and calls them aviators (why is a female pilot in the Navy not called an aviatrix?) and something about shoes. Capital N, capital A. Also something something Wings of Gold.
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Feb 6, 2013 07:03
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GoGoGadget posted:followed very closely by the Marines who actively camoflague their ranks against their uniforms. What the hell? Which can result in: 
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Feb 6, 2013 10:00
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Casimir Radon posted:There are some fixed ladders and catwalks in there that are roped off because they violate some OSHA standard. FALL RESTRAINT I think my favorite fall restraint story is when I was talking to a 2T2 air trans guy I used to work with...he was telling me about how at one of his previous bases (Pope, IIRC) they got caught up in the fall restraint craziness, and they put them on their k-loaders. So whenever you were pushing pallets on the k-loader you had to have the whole getup with the harness on if it was at all elevated, regardless of how high in the air it actually was. One day he's not wearing his, and QA writes him up. He gets asked why he wasn't wearing it, and goes "I'll do better than tell you, I'll show you," grabs the harness, walks over to the edge of the k-loader, and throws the harness off...it hits the ground followed by about 10 feet of rope.
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Feb 12, 2013 05:11
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Wingnut Ninja posted:The Sovereign Citizen movement is hilarious. Nice to see it making its way into the military. Gonna be pretty tough for them to avoid the flags with gold fringe...
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Mar 7, 2013 07:17
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:Why didn't you start jacking it? You missed out on a real treat, all the fun of autoerotic asphyxiation with none of the hassle of hanging yourself from a doorknob. And if anyone asked you what the gently caress was wrong with you/tried to give you paperwork/whatever you could just claim disorientation/confusion/whatever from the CO.
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Apr 2, 2013 01:12
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I think my head would literally explode if a Pro Super came and told me one of my guys pulled that poo poo. e: Like I feel that would be the one instance where "well sir, 'Airman Snuffy was a loving dumbass' should about cover it" would actually be the appropriate way to brief that at the production meeting.
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May 4, 2013 00:30
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Nerdfest X posted:The Chicago Blackhawks fans do a standing ovation during the nation anthem, as a support to the troops. The team always has standing next to the anthem singer: 1) An old timer war vet hours from his own funeral, and 2) an active duty service-person. Tonight it was an Air Force 0-5 pilot in his flight suit. How the gently caress this is OK? Not every service is the Navy-Marine Corps team where if you wear anything other than service dress off base you are a shitbag in violation of 50 different regs. In other words it is acceptable for AF personnel to wear their utility/work uniform off base and even to various events depending on the level of decor/formality/etc. (If I had to guess the decision to go utility would be because we're a "nation at war" or some poo poo.) For aircrew that uniform is a flight suit...it is pretty funny that it was a flight doc though.
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May 10, 2013 06:05
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Veins McGee posted:If you're going to appear on national tv, you should probably wear something more appropriate. If everyone cringes at the dude in cammies at Walmart or at a bar, why would that level of dress be appropriate at a televised sporting event? Who cringes at the dude in cammies shopping on his way home from work? Like maybe that's a USMC thing because HONOR MAH UNIFORM or whatever bullshit but I go grocery shopping on my way home from work (where I wear utilities every day), I'm not stationed at a base with a commissary, and I'm not loving driving home to change and then go back out to the store. Sorry if that makes Marines the world over cringe at my blatant unprofessionalism. As for the sporting event, like I said, I'm sure he got told to wear the "deployed/wartime" (flight doc ) uniform because we're a "nation at war" or whatever. I doubt he was like "man, I'm gonna wear pajamas because I just don't give a gently caress."
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May 10, 2013 06:26
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Godholio posted:I don't see how they're tied to landings. I feel like there's a joke here about AWACS pilots.
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May 13, 2013 05:38
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holocaust bloopers posted:On a piece of aerospace ground equipment, I believe the dash 60 power cart, the tow bar is spring-loaded for whatever reason. I'm not very familiar with it but I do know it has a big red warning on it that very well might say, "Fuckface, do not put your head anywhere near here because the tow bar will never let you forget your idiocy." Dash 60 isn't the only one, a fair amount of pieces of AGE and MMHE have them...the general reasoning is twofold: it keeps them from being on the ground and in the way, and on the larger pieces of equipment (not the Dash 60, think a Hobart or some of the larger munitions trailers) the towbar is so heavy that lifting it up by yourself without some sort of mechanical assistance can be a pain in the rear end. But it's not like they're hair trigger spring loaded just waiting to smack you in the face if you look at them wrong (although the Dash 60's is a little springier than most of the others), you have to be pretty goddamned stupid to get smacked with one. Also the Dash 60's isn't even at face level, so I don't want to know the thought process that got her putting her face down at the level where it could get hit.
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May 15, 2013 06:45
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Ikarus posted:Every ammo/pod trailer I ever used had a manual lift bar, as do our Hobarts. The only equipment I've ever used with a spring-loaded bar is the Dash 60. You're right, the only one that's truly spring loaded is a Dash 60, the other ones (larger ammo trailers like the -110 and -226) are more like "spring assisted," where you would have to be a special kind of dumbass to get smacked in the face (lift it up part of the way and then put your face right next to the towbar as the spring moves it up the rest of the way.) I could've sworn Hobarts were that way too but I haven't had to handle those too often so I'm probably wrong there. For contribution, I once witnessed a Polish guy almost get crushed. They were up for a RF-A last summer and we were helping them unload their C-130...one of my guys was in the AT, they were shoving ISUs out the back of the -130 onto the forks of the AT. This was not a gentle process, they just got the ISUs sliding along and then let them slam into the forks. Well this one Polish dude apparently gets the idea that letting the ISUs slam into the forks would be bad for some reason, so as the ISU is sliding from the aircraft onto the forks he jumps up onto the forks and starts to try to push back against the (fully loaded) ISU. He quickly realizes this is a bad idea and jumps back down, but for a split second his head and the better part of his torso were located squarely between the ISU and the forks.
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May 15, 2013 07:13
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Nostalgia4Infinity posted:We had to dash to save a FNG from hooking up the wrong side of a nitrogen cart more than a few times.  For those of you that don't grasp the significance of this, nitrogen carts have two outputs, high and low. If you hook up the high side thinking it is low pressure, bad things can happen...especially when you are being extremely dumb and hot shotting a tire with no cage or regulator. Bad things like the tire blows apart instantaneously and removes most of your torso from the rest of your body rather violently. Also if you make that thread it better have a story about a tool kit getting loose in a test cell, rolling into the exhaust, and sending tools flying all over the base, also someone taking a poo poo in the exhaust stack of a Dash 60.
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May 16, 2013 00:43
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Phanatic posted:I have a story about the cover on the top of a rotor data package (about a 1.5' diameter aluminum disc) not being bolted on prior to flight and then being discovered in the middle of a car in a grocery store parking lot. Dropped objects are fun! And yeah, AFAIK you don't use a tire cage for on-aircraft servicing, but you're supposed to stand a distance away and out of the frag zone like Nostalgia4Infinity said...the guy I'm thinking of was basically hunched over the tire hot shotting it, so when it blew up he was like less than a foot away. Which is why his torso took the brunt of however many thousands PSI of pressure the high side of a nitrogen cart puts out. I included the tire cage bit because I've also heard stories of people doing off-equipment poo poo without a tire cage which is loving retarded.
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May 17, 2013 00:35
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Best Friends posted:You can legitimately be both neo-liberal and neo-conservative though. Real talk, neo-conservative originally had a (rather broadd) meaning too, it was to describe people who leaned nominally to the right in American politics but who were most concerned with an aggressive muscular interventionist American foreign policy, especially focused on a Wilsonian bent to more or less make the world safe for democracy. Distilled down to its essence, neo-conservatives firmly believed that there are two sides to the world, good and bad, and that American ought to be on the side of good...as opposed to the real world, where everything is a shade of grey. Anyway this is how individuals from both the Clinton and Bush Administrations could be described as "neo-conservative" (or at least having neo-con beliefs) because it was primarily a foreign policy focused descriptor, not a domestic politics one. But yeah, now it basically means super bad GOP meanie.
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Jun 30, 2013 18:21
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Baloogan posted:Where the hell do sweedes go to fight black people anyhow? Biafra
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Aug 4, 2013 18:32
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Wasabi the J posted:(Three Kings?) Um if your Desert Storm experience didn't involve bouncing around the desert with Ice Cube, jacking Saddam's gold, and saving some rebels then I think you were doing it wrong.
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Sep 18, 2013 19:07
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50 Foot Ant posted:The idea that some of those are still sitting out there, ignored and forgotten, makes me wonder if someday some Urbex guys are going to stumble onto the jackpot. The U.S. ones aren't ignored and forgotten, we still pay I don't know how many millions a year to maintain an entire MEB's worth of Marine prepo equipment in caves in Norway.
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Sep 22, 2013 16:10
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Best Friends posted:Inhalants of course should result in immediate execution. Still find it hilarious that a e: Nope it was a full bird. iyaayas01 fucked around with this message at 18:12 on Oct 19, 2013 |
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Oct 19, 2013 18:08
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wiskibubbles posted:So this Kid first was a terrible Mechanic had no grasp of his job. He was Comm/Nav and I knew more about his job then he did as a Hydraulics guy. He took forever to get trained and was always sick for something. Nobody paid much attention to this kid being he was worthless to the unit. We gave him the chances to learn and put some of the best dudes we had out there to train him. He just kept missing work for "Doctor appts and Surgeries". Every time he was on quarters or had a surgery he had some paper work with him and otherwise we trusted him because he never lied to us. Then we found out on a complete he was lying about all of it. He never had a single surgery. All of his problems were made up and he was scamming the Gov't for a paycheck for the most part. This all got caught on a joke by his boss. I feel like this guy understands how to military correctly. wiskibubbles posted:Then my favorite: We had a stabbing on our flight line. Basically 2 kids were arguing about who's car was faster and better. Started slap boxing and next thing that happens is this young kid pulls out a 6 inch butterfly knife and stabs this kid in the arm. Crew_chiefs.txt
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Nov 1, 2013 16:06
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Stultus Maximus posted:He was director of central intelligence when he got canned. He put himself in a "compromised" position that would get any of his subordinates fired. gently caress him. This. I brought up his situation as a perfect example of why intel agencies bug the personal phones of the higher ups in other countries' governments. Also his supposed smarts about counter-insurgency were all well and good but it would've been really great if instead of strongly pushing for surges in both Iraq and Afghanistan that did nothing other than get a bunch of additional people killed while delaying the inevitable for a year or two he had said "you know what, the people who want to draw down and cut our losses are right, let's get the gently caress out of here." But apparently actual strategic thinking (as opposed to operational focus masquerading as strategy) is too much to expect from a four star general.
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Nov 5, 2013 16:35
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Casimir Radon posted:These aren't jokes, these are truths you don't understand yet. Never forget
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Dec 20, 2013 07:43
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Casimir Radon posted:I'm kind of surprised that's even still a thing. Don't you have Yeah, I'm surprised as well...I figured the Asian American Female Employment Service had a lock on that. e: Apparently it's 92S, which sounds less like "seamstress" and more like "oversees the TCNs that do the laundry." Also there was someone in ROTC who I got told I had to "tutor" to get her to pass the math portion of the AFOQT (AF officer equivalent of the ASVAB). It isn't anything more difficult than basic algebra. The minimum score is a 10. I think she was legitimately retarded. iyaayas01 fucked around with this message at 07:12 on Dec 23, 2013 |
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Dec 23, 2013 07:07
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Prop Wash posted:I heard someone use the term "human weapons system" to unironically refer to people in the Air Force multiple times Fun fact: that person was in my flight. he was actually an alright dude, just your stereotypical head in the clouds doc that was really smart but didn't do the best job of expressing his ideas in normal-people speak Another fun fact: we actually physically prevented him from getting up and asking a question during that last "issues panel" or whatever. You're welcome.
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May 21, 2014 05:12
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Victor Vermis posted:Of all the possible explanations, the most likely one is this: He isn't SOF and probably isn't even in the military
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May 23, 2014 21:56
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Derek Dominoe posted:All of the above. With an attitude like that you ain't gonna be gettin' no bitches e: Real talk - like half the guys I commissioned with used the USAA Lt Loan (something like $25K at 2% interest) to help finance a bitchin' car (think of something your average E-3 would buy, except with a slightly lower interest rate on the loan). At least a quarter of those guys had student loans coming out of college. Lt's - not that much better than junior enlisted.
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Jun 5, 2014 07:33
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lol
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Jul 12, 2014 04:45
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PCjr sidecar posted:Blackberry = time travelers from 2010 Yeah, even noted forward looking organization the US military has moved their official cell phones over to iPhones from Blackberries.
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Aug 6, 2014 21:44
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zombie303 posted:Did you have to bleach them? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhEs9KUQ4qo
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Sep 17, 2014 03:29
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