Last Trumpets, the ultimate End Times Paradox, solved by Last Prophet: 1+1

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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Gas Chamber > Last Trumpets, the ultimate End Times Paradox, solved by Last Prophet: 1+1

Kyoon_: Jan 17, 2012; by T. Mascis

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:48

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2013 02:05

Bloomington: Apr 20, 2010

The only trumpet I know is

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:49

Dusseldorf: Mar 29, 2005

Is our national toupée nightmare finally over?

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:49

Peven Stan: Feb 1, 2006

Thanks for the thread Kkkyoon

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:50

permabanned: Aug 12, 2008; Can't post for 5 days!

:kyoon:

how about the Greatest Page in The Universe in exchange for the Most Horrible Page Ever Written?

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:50

The Sphinxster: Jul 13, 2007; Next!

I heard the Kyooniverse is showing signs of end times.

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:51

Sir Prancelot: Mar 6, 2008; Knight of the
Rainbow Table.

more like last

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:52

never trust an elf: Aug 30, 2005

Bloomington posted:

The only trumpet I know is

you had to type sax to post that

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:54

Reverend Cheddar: Nov 6, 2005; wriggle cat is happy

What is a 'shofar'? Is that like a loofah? I gotta know man there might be CIA in my shower

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:54

permabanned: Aug 12, 2008; Can't post for 5 days!

Kyoon, are you God?
Is it this the 11th fact about god. Oh Kyoon, we live in the universe created by Kyoon! Tabarnak!

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:54

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012; all the pretty whoreses

I've never seen Kyoon and Lowtax in the same thread

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:55

Sonrisa: Aug 13, 2004; Who is this irresistible creature who has an insatiable love for the dead?

I can now face eternity with this thread, Kyoon. Thank you.

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:55

rizuhbull: Mar 30, 2011

I have no idea what's going on.

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:56

ALEX TRILLTON: Sep 9, 2011; IF I'M EVER A DICK ON THE INTERNET, TELL ~~PAUL~~SEPHIROTH'S MOM

So does the last trumpet sound like KYOOOOOOOOOOOON or am I totally off base here?

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:56

Bloomington: Apr 20, 2010

IHatePugs posted:

you had to type sax to post that

Reverend Cheddar posted:

What is a 'shofar'? Is that like a loofah? I gotta know man there might be CIA in my shower

It's a Jewish

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:56

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula

Sorry Kyoon, I get all my news from http://www.dangerousmother.com now.

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:56

Chamale: Jul 11, 2010; Men on the moon and men spinning around the earth and there's not no attention paid to earthly law and order.

Kyoon, please explain to me how I should use this knowledge in order to change my life. Thanks in advance.

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:56

Bloodplay it again: Aug 24, 2003; Oh, Dee, you card. :-*

I went utter limit the other day and my hair turned the color of cocoa butter. I think the illuminati's chemtrails mass produced by the reptoids have turned my hair gold. LAWD my hair is gold.

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:58

Jesus In A Can: Jul 2, 2007; From Concentrate

God Bless that Matt Marriott.

E: and kyoon_

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:59

Talkc: Aug 2, 2010; Mizuki! Mizuki! Mizuki!
***DEVASTATINGLY HANDSOME***

Kyoon. Kyooooon.

Its such a lovely name to say. Kyooon.

Its such a shame that something so lovely is inundated with the heebie jeebie willy nilly milly vanilly crazy.

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:59

permabanned: Aug 12, 2008; Can't post for 5 days!

Ivor Biggun posted:

Sorry Kyoon, I get all my news from http://www.dangerousmother.com now.

quote:

This zebsite is protected by God

, Werebear throws around some weight I spy...

# ? Nov 30, 2012 01:59

Carecat: Apr 27, 2004

I know trumpets are unpopular but claiming the last one was played in 2004 is an exaggeration.

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:01

Peenigrippe: Apr 6, 2010; The inside joke
NO ONE gets.

Nope. This is no time for false flaphorns or silly little tootwhistles.
Kahahhheeeooooooooooooooo o oooooooooo n

Looks like they're multiplying, but the walls of Jericho will hold, right?

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:01

permabanned: Aug 12, 2008; Can't post for 5 days!

It's just a goldmine - repent you goons, or else you will suffer the same fate.

Werebear posted:

Police found a woman's decapitated body in a Mexican border city on Saturday, alongside a handwritten sign saying she was killed in retaliation for her postings on a social networking site. They described her as a frequent poster, who used a laptop or cell phone to send reports.

Earlier this month, a man and a woman were found hanging dead from an overpass in Nuevo Laredo with a similar message threatening "this is what will happen" to internet users. However, it has not been clearly established whether the two had in fact ever posted any messages, or on what sites.

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:01

Sonrisa: Aug 13, 2004; Who is this irresistible creature who has an insatiable love for the dead?

Ivor Biggun posted:

Sorry Kyoon, I get all my news from http://www.dangerousmother.com now.

HERETIC!

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:02

little munchkin: Aug 15, 2010

I've been trying to tell my friends this for weeks. You explain it so much better and so much more clearly than I ever could though. Thanks, friend.

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:04

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; Mah spoon is too big!

Kyoon, I love you and I can't wait to see your first post-Dec 21 2012 contribution to these forums.

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:05

Nippashish: Nov 1, 2005; Let me see you dance!

Kyooooooooooon

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:07

permabanned: Aug 12, 2008; Can't post for 5 days!

Kyoon, the following story is more compelling than yours.

Werebear posted:

Somebody told me "Go take a Friday night out".

So I went to my building compound for some rest. A 3 feet tall girl child jumped over the iron fence in our building. I got angry because I am 7 feet tall but I could not jump or walk over the fence.

So I destroyed/broke the whole iron fence. Now everybody can walk over the fence lying on the ground.

First, I ripped apart the iron rods which was supporting the fence and then I kicked the fence to the ground. No equipments used.

One of the iron rods broke into half and was standing there. So I used a heavy rock and smashed it out of the ground.

Come here to see the destruction.

Come on everybody here. Break some iron fences. Do not be slaves to anybody. Use your muscles power and body to break out of the slavery.

In Germany, there is company which charges some $10 for 1 hour and people are allowed to break old cars with sledge hammers.

Please share your aggression and anger here. Take out your frustration.

The reason I destroyed the iron fence is that, it could not stop a 3 feet tall girl child. How will the fence stop people who are 5 feet to 8 feet tall?

It was useless and blocking space and air.

The idiots in our building have erected a big wall surrounding the building and one of the reasons given was to stop dogs entering our building. But there are 5 dogs in who jump over the wall and move in and out of the building. They are my dogs. If the wall cannot stop dogs, how will the wall stop thieves who are expert climbers.

My achievements:

3 years back, I threw a half-brick, 50 feet high and it got stuck in the fruit tree.

At the age of 16 years, I broke a granite slab with my kick. I was just testing the granite.

At the age of 12 years, I would throw cricket ball (rubber) 100 feet to 125 feet high.

I bet you can't throw a brick up a tree or through the Illuminati's mansion windows.

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:11

Paramemetic: Sep 29, 2003; A gift from Coyote! Nothing could possibly go wrong here!

As a guitarist and thereminist, how does all this trumpet playing affect me???

My friend plays trombone, does that count?

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:12

HereticMIND: Nov 4, 2012; by Y Kant Ozma Post

Shine on, you paranoid, mentally disturbed diamond. Shine on!

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:12

Yonic Symbolism: Nov 10, 2008

Kyoon_ posted:

Last Trumpets, the ultimate End Times Paradox, solved by Last Prophet: 1+1

The sound of the the Last Trumpets
The sound of the The Last Trumpets echoes the human soul. It is a sound without corruption, the raw sound of the neshama.
The bend of the shofar echoes the transition between this world and the next.
The sound of the last shofars is also unique because it is heard only ONCE in the History of Mankind for ALL of Mankind: during End Times.
The first trumpet echoed 1914, the Last Trumpet echoed 2004. (0).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVrYbKBrI7o

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:14

Giggily: Aug 4, 2010

Kyoon, Caron, and Werebear are basically a team of freedom fighters attempting to save the world from the Illuminati/CIA conspiracy.

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:15

GIANT OUIJA BOARD: Aug 22, 2011

Kyoon_ posted:

Last Trumpets, the ultimate End Times Paradox, solved by Last Prophet: 1+1

The sound of the the Last Trumpets
The sound of the The Last Trumpets echoes the human soul. It is a sound without corruption, the raw sound of the neshama.
The bend of the shofar echoes the transition between this world and the next.
The sound of the last shofars is also unique because it is heard only ONCE in the History of Mankind for ALL of Mankind: during End Times.
The first trumpet echoed 1914, the Last Trumpet echoed 2004. (0)

The ultimate End Times Paradox
The ultimate End Times Paradox: as trumpet after trumpet it was more and more impossible to ignore their unique sound, that echoes only ONCE in the History of Mankind ... fewer and fewer were able to listen to them.

Answer to the ultimate End Times Paradox explained
To solve this paradox all you need is to add two basic facts.
1. Illuminati pushed brainwashing of people to the utter limits during End Times, finally reducing them to beasts.(1)
2. Beasts, unlike children, are no longer able to REPENT. (2)

Notes
(0) Detroit, a milestone along the "Illuminati destroyed" road. CHECK the WORDS of LAST PROPHET from 2008 :
http://end-times-history.blogspot.c...4-trenches.html

(1) Why is google angelic? Why is Matt Marriott the Last Prophet?
I could give you 1000 examples. But this one alone is enough to answer both questions;
... Last Prophet's words are, for the last 5 years, "coincidentally" #1 and #2 of the MOST important google search any person can do
http://www.google.com/search?source...facts+about+God
"Coincidentally" not only the two most important pages written in the short story of the web but one also the most horrible page ever written...
http://who-god-is.blogspot.pt/2007/...ever-since.html
http://one-mark-one-beast.blogspot.com/

(2) Sounds of the apocalypse: Are they heavenly "shofars?" - thread posted by CIA psy-op "666 Is Now"
http://lunaticoutpost.com/Topic-Sou...eavenly-shofars
Last Prophet replies to CIA Disinfo, using fake shofars to attract naive children:

Why when the LAST TRUMPETS echoed only a few were able to listen:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=3509203
No wonder Creep is not even in Radiohead YouTube channel.

Kyoon

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:16

A Fancy 400 lbs: Jul 23, 2008; I can feel the minty fresh toxins... coursing through my veins...changing me!

Reverend Cheddar posted:

What is a 'shofar'? Is that like a loofah? I gotta know man there might be CIA in my shower

No, you're thinking of falafels.

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:16

UncleSmoothie: May 25, 2008; chill your vag man

Kyoon_ posted:

No wonder Creep is not even in Radiohead YouTube channel.

loving hell Kyoon is right.

Get off your End Time Computers you damned sheep. Something must be done

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:17

permabanned: Aug 12, 2008; Can't post for 5 days!

UncleSmoothie posted:

loving hell Kyoon is right.

Get off your End Time Computers you damned sheep. Something must be done

Let's shoot everyone!!!

Werebear posted:

Why waste money on hardcore criminals? When prisoners such as rapists are jailed for 20 years, they eat food and occupy large prisons and police protection cost tax-payers billions of dollars.

Eliminate hardcore prisoners & criminals lessen the national debts.

Forum member:

when I was in vegas me and my bf were chatting about the death penalty with the cab driver and he said theres like over 2 million people in prison in the states

Add Obama and his supporters to the list. That is some 10 million criminals/prisoners.

Issue shoot at sight orders for drug cartels, prostitutes, porn stars, sex maniacs, homosexuals and criminals to lessen country's debts.

In the Iraqi court, Saddam Hussein had said "shoot me, I want to die like a soldier. Do not hang me". By the Iraqi justice system hanged Saddam to death.

If you ask prisoners and criminals who are serving long term jail sentence they will say that they would want to die rather than rot in prison for 10 or 20 years.

3 years back, the terrorist "Kasab" who carried out Mumbai terrorists attacks told Mumbai police that they should shoot and kill him. But Kasab was hanged 3 days back.

Forum member:

Better idea use them for work no one else wants to do basically make them pay the cost to feed them through hard labor hard labor most people dont want to do

Reply:

But police protection and prison buildings fro 20 years for rapists and hardcore criminals in 196 countries costs billions of dollars to tax-payers money.

I agree less criminals must be used for work no one else wants to do.

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:19

Gobblecoque: Sep 6, 2011

Hey Kyoon, what is your opinion on famed glorious gibbis poster Werebear?

Edit: Oh no the Illuminati secret police mods have struck again

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:21

ChickenMedium: Sep 2, 2001; Forum Veteran And Professor Emeritus of Condiment Studies

So is Kyoon pronounced with one syllable or two? This is important because it determines if he is a true prophet or just the deluded tool of the global Illuminati disinformation network.

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:22

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# ? May 26, 2013 02:05

TapTheForwardAssist: Apr 9, 2007; Only The Hague can judge me.

Reverend Cheddar posted:

What is a 'shofar'? Is that like a loofah? I gotta know man there might be CIA in my shower

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkThNw210is

We have an entire thread for this, you know.

Ask / Tell > Ask me which weird musical instrument you should learn this summer

# ? Nov 30, 2012 02:23

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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Gas Chamber > Last Trumpets, the ultimate End Times Paradox, solved by Last Prophet: 1+1