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So sometime last year we had a 'King of the Army' thread. This is the same thing except it's DoD wide. What would you change about your individual service, or the DoD as a whole? It can be a little or it can get  Note that you cannot change US Foreign policy or other aspects of government. You're King of the DoD, not the US. Contract procurement and other components of the MIC are fair game. While this isn't supposed to be some D&D esque super-duper serious thread, please try and keep it on topic. If you're going to respond to someone's ideas, don't just quote them and say stuff like 'lol loving nobles' or 'kill all pogs' I'm tired as poo poo so this is as far as I'm going with this tonight. I'll post my own suggestions tomorrow or something, whatever.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 05:35 |
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| # ? May 22, 2013 15:20 |
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Eliminate married/single BAH differences, pay everyone the higher rate.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 05:50 |
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Hands in pockets errday Eliminate dependent benefits, pay everyone more regardless of family status shitcan berets and patrolcaps, boonies everywhere
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 05:52 |
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force NCOs to treat everyone with respect
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 06:08 |
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sky shark posted:Hands in pockets errday These two. Boonies would be pretty cool too I guess. As for MIC and procurement, obviously I could all day about that, but I'll keep it short...- Regarding the JSF/tacair, shitcan the F-35B, tell the Marines if they want fixed wing air it can either be non-STOVL jet fighters or STOVL light attack but they aren't getting STOVL jet fighters (and tell the JSF partners who bought in on the -B that they can either buy -As or get nothing and like it), tell the Navy they can get out of the -C if they want (pretty sure they'll get out in a heartbeat), continue the F-35A because it's not feasible to cancel it completely but slow the program down and buy some new build Block 60 Vipers and Strike Eagles to fill the interim gap. Although now that I think about it maybe I shouldn't be allowed to make decisions about the JSF since that's getting into the foreign policy department due to the fact that like literally half the planet is buying them or at least thinking about it. Whatever, the -B needs to die. - Take everyone in the AF's acquisitions department behind the barn and put them out of their misery. Actually, make that everyone in acquisitions DoD wide. I'm only half joking with this one. More seriously, end cost-plus contracts once programs have moved beyond the R&D phase. I think moving toward a fixed fee structure once programs are in the procurement phase (basically once they've entered LRIP) would yield some serious benefits. - Increase the "cool-off" period that retired flag officers have from lobbying from one year to four. Also take a hard look at the conflict of interest on all the DoD "advisory" boards that exist where retired officers are brought on in an unofficial capacity giving advice to DoD while they are often simultaneously financially involved with the defense contractors who stand to benefit from that same advice. I'm not trying to completely end retired officers' relationship with DoD, because there is a lot of experience there, nor am I trying to completely restrict how retire officers can earn a living once they retire, but I think it's fairly uncontroversial to say that despite the one year cooling off period and ostensible conflict of interest rules, there is still a pretty incestuous relationship there. e: Thought of one more...give serious thought towards either abolishing the Academies or moving towards a Sandhurst type system where everyone, regardless of their background with doing what would probably be an ROTC-lite while at college or some sort of preliminary OTSish program (or maybe just get rid of it all and go straight to the Sandhurst-esque Acadmies once you have a civilian degree), would go spend a year or so doing military focused training at the Academies (after already having an academic degree). The current system of having a "military focused" school that still does academics and wastes time on things like inter-collegiate athletics isn't working. \/ gently caress yeah. There's no way it would ever fly for any of the other services, but the Navy should seriously go back to allowing beards. Basically the Zumwalt '70s grooming standards. \/ iyaayas01 fucked around with this message at Dec 5, 2012 around 07:28 |
| # ? Dec 5, 2012 07:11 |
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 07:21 |
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court martial all bronies
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 07:30 |
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Since I refuse to look at the air force thread, the gently caress is this poo poo? http://www.af.mil/news/story.asp?id=123322483 I guess I'd get rid of this to start.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 08:04 |
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LEGIT WAR CRIMINAL posted:Since I refuse to look at the air force thread, the gently caress is this poo poo? From an AF thread a few months back... Nullscan posted:In 2012 , a bunch of dumb airmen were sent to prison by a military court for sexual assaults they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a minimum-security holding cell to the San Angelo underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as bystander interventionists. If you have been assaulted...if no one else believes that you had consent...and if you can find them...maybe you can hire...The Teal Team. But yeah, get rid of that too.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 08:29 |
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1) Cut, like, half the loving Army. Seriously, why do we need half a loving million active duty Army personnel in 2012? Our Army needs to be a reserve force so that if we actually go to war with a country, it's actually a Really Big loving Deal, instead of now where it's like "well gently caress it we have a massive military, let's use it just because" with Iraq. Ok, I get having a powerful Navy because of force projection and nukes, as well as controlling all the world's major trade lanes. I get having a powerful AF because, again, force projection, being able to bomb whatever the gently caress you want at any time, and moving poo poo around. But a massive Army is just stupid, and with personnel being our biggest cost, that poo poo needs to get cut yesterday. 2) Kill AD retirement past and present. Replace it with a 401k with 10% matching and a 20% payraise. Also start charging user fees for dependent use of Tricare. 3) Chemically castrate all USMC upon arrival in Japan
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 09:53 |
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I would stringently screen potential enlisted recruits to each and every branch. This screening would include comprehensive psychological screening. Also as the Secretary of Defense I would lobby the Supreme Court to end the Feres Doctrine. Drastically reduce the number of general officer billets across the DoD. Drastically cut the size of the officer corps where tasks / responsibilities aren't related directly to officership. Drastically reduce the number of civilians in the DoD to only that which is required.. Hire strictly the best and brightest candidates. That would be my starting point. The comprehensive list is just.. too long.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 10:24 |
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Get rid of pts, erb; new force shaping based on pt failures. More lesbians and hilarious catty gay men in my Navy.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 10:33 |
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I would bring back soldiers needing permission to get married. Or establish some sort of way to evaluate a marriages viability before it happens. Think of how much money we can save if Joe doesn't get loving married so stupidly. I would fix the god drat barracks scenario, make them somewhere worth living. I'd get 1SG out of the drat barracks. Make it so instead of being somewhere for Top to relive the glory days of ruining soldiers lives they're A PLACE YOU CAN LIVR AND BE HAPPY AT! Hell, give barracks soldiers 50% BAH. Maybe that will discourage dumb marriages. Civilian attire Fridays. Edit: poo poo I HAVE MORE! You know how we paid all that money to have civilian experts evaluate PT only to ignore them? gently caress that, I'd force the DoD to obey and rewrite PT policies. Attach a civilian PT coordinator to each battalion to write up PT plans according to unit needs. Make the APFT a go/no go to. I don't know how but MOS specific promotion requirements and boards. HATE CURES TRANNYS fucked around with this message at Dec 5, 2012 around 12:28 |
| # ? Dec 5, 2012 12:20 |
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Any flag officer caught working with lobbyists and contractors to create boondoggle expenses or substandard equipment that will cost lives will be charged with good old fashioned "get a rope, a rifle and a cigarette" treason. Make the penalties for an SNCOs and above field grade officers loving up much stiffer than those for Lance Corporal Stiffler when he inevitably fucks an E-9's 18 year old daughter. If you've been in for 15 years and have a large amount of authority, more emphasis should be placed on making you a responsible member of the team, not the opposite where we give a 48 year old Lt. Col. a demotion to Major and let him retire after he fucks a 16 year old. Navy gets beards again. Air Force can have hair down to their shoulders and can wear an iPod to formation, its not like we expect anything close to bearing out of them. Drop the the minimum drinking age for enlisted back down to 18 on their post/port. Encourage them to stay on base when they're learning to handle their booze so MPs/SPs can just nightstick them a few times and tell their NCOIC how stupid they are instead of getting DUIs and other dumb poo poo in the real world. Go back to commands having to allow guys to get married. Everyone gets BAH after age 22 regardless of dependents unless they are a complete goddamn moron who has multiple gently caress ups on their record, then their rear end is in a squad bay util they can go a year without incident. Same applies to junior officers, plenty of those jackasses can't go more than 20 feet off post without doing something completely idiotic. Swear jars for DI's and all other training personnel (kidding) PT is required out of everyone in active service. Failing two PFTs in a 2 year period without drat good reason (ie knee surgery, wounded in action, accidental Nairing of balls) results in a discharge without access to benefits.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 14:01 |
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Liquidate all officers.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 14:57 |
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iyaayas01 posted:- Regarding the JSF/tacair, shitcan the F-35B, tell the Marines if they want fixed wing air it can either be non-STOVL jet fighters or STOVL light attack but they aren't getting STOVL jet fighters (and tell the JSF partners who bought in on the -B that they can either buy -As or get nothing and like it), tell the Navy they can get out of the -C if they want (pretty sure they'll get out in a heartbeat), continue the F-35A because it's not feasible to cancel it completely but slow the program down and buy some new build Block 60 Vipers and Strike Eagles to fill the interim gap. Although now that I think about it maybe I shouldn't be allowed to make decisions about the JSF since that's getting into the foreign policy department due to the fact that like literally half the planet is buying them or at least thinking about it. Whatever, the -B needs to die.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 15:02 |
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Physical posted:Could you elaborate on why you want to get rid of it of -B and why slow the program down? The -B is the reason for many of the program delays and cost overruns over the past ten years. The other models haven't been perfect, but the -B accounts for more than the other two combined. It's also an aircraft in search of a mission, to some extent. But it was the only way the Marines could get a replacement for the Harrier, so I don't blame them for going for it. Slowing it down is a good idea because the F-35 will be in full-rate production while still in flight testing. They're already building production models for the services, which is much earlier than has been done with any other aircraft...and it's almost bit them in the rear end several times as they discover new problems that weren't expected. Nobody O-6+ can work for any of the major weapons systems contractors for a minimum of 10 years. Funds match TSP for active duty. Stop (or at least slow) privatization efforts, many of which have yielded financial losses or gains of single-digit percent of what was "expected." Permanently offer a 15-year retirement option that pays 2/3 the pension. Dependent healthcare is off-base only, with OCONUS exceptions but those hospitals are STAFFED for it and they have their own section. Sick call is sick call...no appointment needed. Flight doctors (maybe others) must spend X hours per month in off-base hospitals so they don't get stuck in the motrin gutter and hopefully realize that their patients really would like to get better. I'm getting really tired of seeing friends on FB complain about health problems that are being ignored or downplayed by flight med for literally months. Flight hours programs need to be revamped. No more launching a jet just to make hours when there's no meaningful training for 36 of the 40 people on board, nor much chance of finding any. Congrats, you just spent $2.5M so the pilot could get a daytime landing hack. Stop cutting aircraft maintenance personnel. (We went from 3 AMUs to 2, most of them were not just split between the remaining AMUs, either). Reevaluate all current waivers with regards to crew experience, aircraft maintenance status, personnel training requirements, and "operational necessity" and determine if we're really on the road we want to be.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 15:53 |
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Bring back the Specialist ranks.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 17:46 |
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Re Sandhurst: Shrink the entire force so that 2.5k officers are needed each year, all of which are commissioned through the academies. Curriculum goes from 4 years to 5, an extra year inserted between 2 and 3 to go to sea/wherever the gently caress the AF and army go.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 17:54 |
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Pay individuals based on MOS and rank as opposed to just rank. A cook shouldn't be paid the same as a avionics technician.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 18:22 |
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loving get rid of all that "be christian or get out" poo poo
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 18:38 |
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Doctor Dogballs posted:loving get rid of all that "be christian or get out" poo poo This doesn't exist?
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 18:43 |
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Bolow posted:Pay individuals based on MOS and rank as opposed to just rank. A cook shouldn't be paid the same as a avionics technician.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 18:49 |
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Give AF OPRs an overall 1-5 ranking for the rater if the ratee is O-3+, rater's rater if below.
Godholio fucked around with this message at Dec 5, 2012 around 20:13 |
| # ? Dec 5, 2012 19:03 |
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Only Generals/SNCOs with hot wives are allowed to make AFN commercials.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 19:49 |
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DrCuntmuffins posted:force NCOs to treat everyone with respect Stop trying to ruin all the fun! 
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 21:15 |
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Give a slight monetary bonus for those who do shift work. Give me some incentive to make me not hate life working at 3am on Christmas, and also having to put up with sleep disorders and all sorts of fun stuff that go with it.
shyduck fucked around with this message at Dec 5, 2012 around 21:28 |
| # ? Dec 5, 2012 21:23 |
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Move from contracts to at-will employment, pro-rate amount of bonus to pay back by years served.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 21:46 |
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AB posted:Move from contracts to at-will employment, pro-rate amount of bonus to pay back by years served. What do you do when a war kicks off and everyone quits?
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 21:53 |
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Godholio posted:What do you do when a war kicks off and everyone quits? Have the contracts say you can quit at anytime except in time of war. Problem solved.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 21:55 |
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Godholio posted:What do you do when a war kicks off and everyone quits? If you quit during war, the war isn't worth fighting.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 22:04 |
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Godholio posted:What do you do when a war kicks off and everyone quits? I know there are so many things that make the concept impossible, but I'm King of the DoD so shut up.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 22:21 |
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Eliminate women from Ranger School.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 22:30 |
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I like the idea of increasing the size of the RC portion of the Army for several reasons but I'm curious how much that would really save. What is the breakdown in your average BCT for equipment vs. personnel costs for instance? Given that equipment costs are going to be relatively similar between AC/RC in this case. I would also eliminate the Army Reserve and fold those units into the ARNG and do similar things in eliminating redundancy between the AF/Navy and Army/Marines.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 22:40 |
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Roving Reporter posted:Eliminate women from Ranger School. So we can remake GI JANE but make it about Ranger School...
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 22:41 |
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More hot women.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 22:54 |
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Eliminate all military research and development that is not in someway/shape/form related to having battle mechs. Mechwarrior will be reality when I'm in charge.
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| # ? Dec 5, 2012 23:18 |
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Nillerz posted:Bring back the Specialist ranks. AB posted:Move from contracts to at-will employment, pro-rate amount of bonus to pay back by years served. Between these two ideas there's something. I really had no interest whatsoever in being a "leader of men". That said, if the Army would have let me stay in and continue to advance my technical skills I'd probably still be there. I'm pretty sure the E-5 and above MI/Signal/Mechanics/Etc specialist ranks would be a ridiculously productive technical elite if those guys didn't have to simultaneously be concerned about job proficiency and managing a legion of Joes with a proclivity to marry strippers and get DUI's. Tie promotions directly to job performance and knowledge? You've got a bunch of people that are there doing what they love and only what they love (well, except for PT, because really, 12oz curls is all an analyst really needs). Now I wouldn't go completely At-Will, but lets say a six month revolving contact after the first two years... Suddenly you've got a technocrat portion of the military that will at most walk into expensive contractor positions if not outright leave completely if they don't perceive the "war" being worth participating in. Also, for gently caress's sake, can we start invading places with real value? First up - Cuba. Beachfront for loving days, strategic location in the Gulf of Mexico and the best cigars ever. Garrison the gently caress out of it for war babies and rum micro-distillery start-ups. There is NO downside here. DoktorLoken posted:I would also eliminate the Army Reserve and fold those units into the ARNG and do similar things in eliminating redundancy between the AF/Navy and Army/Marines. I'll go there - Eliminate the Marines. If we can keep the special snowflake that is the 82nd we can create the 1st Amphibious Division of the US Army. Fold the best of their guys/girls into the respective services and fund the gently caress out of them instead of the nickel and diming poo poo that's done now. SentSix fucked around with this message at Dec 6, 2012 around 03:08 |
| # ? Dec 6, 2012 02:58 |
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Get back motherfucking beards back in the godammed coast guard (and other branches too i guess). Get some loving standards down because loving neckbeards are loving disgusting. And if you can't grow one then grow a moustache, any loving style you one as long as its gentlemanly and not a loving ridiculous pedostache. If you don't want to grow one or can't grow one that's cool. If you don't want to grow one or can't grow one and you think this is stupid then get the gently caress out of my loving DOD you biter loving hairless gently caress. All you will do is moan and complain and try to usurp my position of king of DOD and ban beards again like the raging VD infested dry vagina you are you godammed douchebag. ElMaligno fucked around with this message at Dec 6, 2012 around 03:40 |
| # ? Dec 6, 2012 03:08 |
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| # ? May 22, 2013 15:20 |
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Wait. Isn't the Coast Guard DHS, not DoD?
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| # ? Dec 6, 2012 03:11 |
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