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Stubear St. Pierre
Feb 22, 2006

I rape cats

Are you eager to drop another $60 on terrible poo poo? Head on over to the COD Ghosts thread and treat yourself to another year of disappointment!

Late July Somber Introspective Soliloque Update

ME posted:

Good evening, COD denizens~~

It is a tumultuous time for Call of Duty goons. In the light of the ongoing discussion for the past ~6 months to a year about how we're all not getting Ghosts, not getting next gen consoles, getting different next gen consoles, contemplating suicide, actively planning suicide, and engaging in masturbation rituals so brutal that anal exsanguination is not a risk but an expectation, I have created a Steam group that is public, for a limited time, for all of us to join up to plan our excursions, since we're all OGs who lack the distinctive Aspergers flavor of our other Games forum counterparts. Thus, I present to the nearly 10 people who still follow this dogshit thread:

The Non-Judgmental Handjob Exchange Task Force, Charlie Squad.

Newbies and their ilk can expect a place to shitpost, be invited to Chivalry games, possibly Diablo games, possibly TF2 games, XBL games, and a place to find a bro who might be willing to exchange handjobs with you--without judgment. Veterans can expect a place where they can find their old bretheren who will be dropping like flies from XBL because this console generation is going to start dying and Call of Duty games are getting progressively worse as, shockingly, the Quake II engine shows its age.

So I implore you all to join forever, for a short while, until someone kicks you, I don't give a poo poo. I love alcohol. Caol Ila for life. I'm putting this in the OP. I am God.

Returning to the previously scheduled OP...

Good morning one and all! As promised, here's a new OP by someone who actually devotes an entire year to bitching about these games and quitting instead of just a month. It's once again time for the wonderful and wacky world of Call of Duty to rear its ugly head and make us all mad at everything around us because that guy spawned behind us.

Also, as of early July it has occurred to me that I never said what Call of Duty is in this OP. It's a game where you shoot people and scream at the TV. You loving idiot.

I. The Three Questions
Literally the only reason you're reading an OP of a Call of Duty thread is that you have one of three questions:

1. Should I bother buying this game?
a) I'm an antisocial nerd who loves getting 'cheevos and gamerscore on my XBox 360 and/or sick plats on PS3. I don't play in nationwide goon groups and don't give a poo poo. Is this game worth buying? Yes, the problems most people have with this game are that it has connection difficulties in groups that span most or all of the country. You might find yourself being inexplicably worse at this game than the first Black Ops, but you'll have a fine time and the bitching in this thread is from about two dozen people who put 300-500 hours into these games and use them as their sole means of socialization and base their self-esteem on their sick K/Ds. The singleplayer is fine and there's a bunch of new poo poo you'll have fun with.
b) I am a social nerd who also loves getting aforementioned 'cheevos and sick plats, is there a big goon following/are there people to play with/should I get it? As much as it pains me to say it, yes. Nobody is going back to any of the other games, and Call of Duty is still one of the only half dozenish console games that maintains its goon playerbase for longer than 30 days after release. Everyone bitches about this game and maybe 5% of the regulars from previous games play it a mere 2 days a week instead of the full 7, but this is the new Call of Duty and everyone is playing it and unless you're one of the super elite BTSX or old-school COD4 crowd, you will have plenty of fun.

NEW!!! 1 C) i) a) I) - Should I bother buying the DLC?

Deus Rex posted:

Uprising good, Revolution is meh but the gun is an interesting throw-in.

i can think of only a few regular poor goons that don't have Uprising, so we end up playing those maps pretty often. Although Studio maybe a bit too much.

2. What's new in this game?
  • A bunch of point streaks (they're now literally point streaks not killstreaks that you get a "kill" credit towards for shooting down UAVs and crap like in MW3). The SR71 is back, and now called the "Orbital VSAT."
  • Pretty much all the weapons are new, and it's actually a bigger difference this time around than it was between previous games, as now certain weapons have variable fire rates and nonsense like that.
  • A bunch of attachments. In a stunning recursive display of IP theft, COD has ripped off the Battlefield/Ghost Recon system of having attachments on your weapon actually do stuff and not just be "a silencer and one of three different sights." For example, a laser sight improves hipfire accuracy, replacing steady aim. This serves the dual purpose of giving you a fourth perk and, unlike weapon proficiencies in MW3, making your gun look up to 33% more tactical.
  • The class system is fairly different. You have a weapon, 2 attachments by default, and the rest of that crap, but you have more leeway in that now you can choose from up to 3 of several "wild cards" once you unlock them and, for example, have three attachments on your gun instead of a 3rd perk or have an extra third perk instead of attachments on your gun. There are definitely people that run around with 6 perks and just a knife.
  • There are some sweet camos for the guns. There's finally a pink flowery camo although it's not as cool as the one in Gears 3.
  • There's some retarded system where you can prestige weapons now. I wouldn't worry too much about it, I'm sure there's a tooltip in the game that explains it.
  • You can fully reset your stats after any prestige.
  • The emblem editor from the first Blops is back and you can save emblems and use 30 something layers, possibly 32. Pretty sure we will all eventually be banned from this feature.
  • Combat training from Blops I is back and it's pretty groovy this time around.

3. I want to play with goons because a shocking notion occured to me that it might be nice to play with grown adults who are drunk and volatile and entertain themselves on weeknights by screaming at teenagers. How would I go about this?

X360 - Metatags are dead and gone, and have been replaced by the Elite clan system. You sign up for Call of Duty Elite if you haven't already, and send off an application to the official open-enrollment minor league B-team farm clan, BOYS, headed by Spoon Man who posts in this thread about dumb spreadsheets and zombies poo poo all the time. What this effectively does is give you a giant in-game 100-person friends list full of agreeable chaps who play COD a lot (Spoon literally has a spreadsheet of this and kicks people who don't play!!). There's limited space for some retarded reason, so you might have to wait, but post your GT in along with a brief blurb about your interests, whether you're a cat or dog person, your Meyers-Briggs personality and a haiku about the last poo poo you took and ol' Spoony will get right on it. He also enjoys being sent hateful XBL messages, GT: SA Spoon Man

PS3 - go here

PC - Post in the PC thread, dipshit!

II. How about them You-Tube's?
Here are some of the Youtube channels for our glorious goon following. If you have another, let me know and I'll add it because I'll actually follow this thread unlike the past 6 or 7 OPs of COD threads.

Qmass - - some guy who's actually helpful
Cum Dumpster (GET IT?!) - - The only one who voted for Option 3 and wasn't lying
Lazyfire - - Talks about airplanes or some poo poo, does LPs, puts "effort" into his "videos"
Wazzit - - Usually drunk
CombataceSA - - Not entirely sure but he was on Poz's featured list and I recognize the name
Psion - - "my entire life is predicated on youtube pageviews so add me to the OP of "people who post blops 2 videos" section, otherwise I will wither away and die"
Scatterfold - - another actual British person

II.V. Media Section
Below are some featured bits of media that showcase the Call of Duty series in its entirety, as determined by our lovely posters:

Unofficial Blops 2 release trailer featuring MW2 footage apparently

The Black Ops/Black Ops II Emblem Hall of Fame - Feel free to submit!

Section for nerds who put theirs as attachments:

The Carbohydrates Corner:

Nighthand's Nook of Nefariousness:

Nighthand posted:

Now, some of you may know, I have an emblem that says "Message me a secret" in big colorful letters. This is surprisingly effective.

Most of these came from pubbies just prior to starting matches of the party games. I don't get as many in a group because everyone is too busy trash talking and distracting the pubbies.

Nighthand posted:

Time for another edition of Message Me a Secret!


(Depends on what those two letters mean.)

(Please be supportive, coming out to a stranger online is a brave thing to do.)

(When emblems are telling you what to do, maybe you should see someone.)

(Frankly, I'm flattered. As a Goon, I know how unattractive I can be.)

(Dad, get off Live, you're drunk.)

Goon Hall of Shame:

III. Frequently asked questions

Q. Theater mode doesn't work, what the gently caress
A. That's correct, it still doesn't, please write a multiparagraph post complaining about this shocking new revelation

Q. What's the best gun/perk/loadout/something
A. Here's some bullshit table with some numbers in it:

Conclusion: they're all the same and you just suck

Q. My connection sucks/my NAT keeps making itself strict or moderate, what can I do
A. Your NAT will change based on your horoscope, so make sure to check it before strapping in for an adrenaline fueled gamer sesh'.

Q. What is BTSX and gently caress all these people
A. BTSX is an off-shoot X360 clan consisting of a disproportionately high number of the people who shitpost in these threads. We have real-life weight lifting champions, youtube superstars and Tier One Operators, and I basically don't invite anybody ever unless wazzit or dum cumpster specifically ask me to because I hate everyone who has ever lived

Q. What is "head-glitching?"
A. When you stand behind a box or something so only your head is exposed and shoot from your tilaka. In Call of Duty (and every other FPS ever) your bullets actually come from basically the top of your guy's head because otherwise it would be horrible and annoying like a third person shooter. Some dipshit goon decided this was a glitch at some point.

Q. How do I post/save my BO2 emblem online

in between furiously editing spreadsheets, a raging nerd posted:

Your emblem is displayed next to your Prestige and level numbers.

If you view the properties of that tiny picture, you'll get a url similar to this:

You can modify size=40 to increase the size of the emblem.
You can modify imgtype=svg to change the picture type to PNG to make it less application dependant.

400 is a good size.

New feature! You can't because they broke it

Q. I want to get an HDPVR to record my sick trickshotting montages, and I think I may suffer from a mild form of autism called Asperger's syndrome. Is there a post I can reference that will tell me which HDPVR is the best, and also that I can compare with my own posting style to see if I may indeed suffer from this disorder?
A. Why ye

venutolo took a week long vacation from work, and posted:

To follow up from last week, here are my thoughts comparing the Blackmagic Intensity Pro and the Elgato Game Capture HD.

I've been using the Intensity for a while and have been really happy with it. I like that one version is an internal PCIe card, so I didn't have to find any extra shelf space for an external capture device. It is able to capture using either Motion JPEG (compressed) or 8-bit YUV (uncompressed) in an AVI container and writes that straight to a file. The Intensity is aimed at professional video capture uses, and not consumer game capture uses, so it may not be the most friendly product for some. I had no issues with install, setup, and use, but someone less technically inclined may have issues. The capture part of the software is simple and has no extra features.

I've now had a week with the Elgato Game Capture HD and I'm rather impressed with it. I was expecting a larger device (perhaps the size of a Wii), but the device is rather small (around the size of two iPhones stacked on top of each other), so I didn't have to move anything around to put it on my shelf with my Xbox, headset receiver, games, etc. The Elgato can only capture to a H.264 (compressed) in a transport stream container, then when you are done recording it will mux that in an MP4 container. There is no uncompressed video capture option.

The capture side of the software has some features aimed at game capture. There options for recording a live commentary and streaming to Twitch. There is also a recording buffer that is always being used, regardless of whether you have hit the record button or not, so if you have forgotten to start capturing, you can go back in the buffer and start recording. I turn this option off since I don't forget to capture, but it is a nice feature. There are options in the software to adjust brightness, contrast, saturation, and hue, which isn't an option in the Intensity. I have not experimented with the edit side of the software since I will do editing in Vegas or other tools.

In terms of capture quality in a practical game capture sense, the Elgato is superior. While the Intensity is able to capture uncompressed video, and the Elgato is not, that doesn't matter at all since any difference in quality won't be noticeable at all once the video is on YouTube (and I'd imagine most people would have difficulty telling the difference between the uncompressed and compressed captures anyway). Between the Elgato's and Intensity's compressed capture quality, it is probably a wash, however the size of Elgato's compressed capture is much, much smaller (even at the highest bitrate) than the Intensity's Motion JPEG capture, which makes it superior. I do wish the Elgato did have an uncompressed capture as an option, but I probably would never use it and it might only confuse other end users of the product.

I do have a few annoyances with the Elgato. First is that there is a couple second delay between what your Xbox is outputting and what you see in the capture software (there is no delay with the Intensity). This makes using the Xbox a bit tedious while viewing through the capture software. The monitor I play my Xbox on is shared with my computer, so it was nice to be able to go through menus, set up classes, look through the barracks, whatever, by using the video display in the capture software instead of switching monitor inputs. It is not a big deal, but I do really miss it. If you play on a separate monitor, then this wouldn't be an issue.

The second annoyance with the Elgato is that while capturing, the captured video is written to a transport stream inside a "EGC_Library" directory inside your capture directory. Then when you are done recording, this transport stream is then muxed to an MP4 written to your capture directory. If you have been recording for a long time, then this muxing can take a while, and you can't immediately shut down the capture software when you are done gaming. The other issue is that the original transport stream is not deleted, so in effect you have two copies of the video on your hard drive, one MP4 in your capture directory, and one series of transport stream files in the ECG_Library directory. I turned off the MP4 muxing so I would only have one copy of the video capture, but found that to be impractical. For one, Vegas can't directly import the transport steams produced, so I'd need to do some processing of the transport steam anyway. Second, the transport streams are broken up into 4GB files which would be tedious to work with if there are multiple. So I just let the software sit for a while after capturing and let it mux the MP4 together. I'll probably write a script to delete the contents of the ECG_Library directory nightly since I don't have use for the transport streams, but it'd be nice if the software would just leave me with one copy of the captured video in a format Vegas can read like the Intensity does.

The final annoyance I have may be particular to me. I play with the in-game brightness cranked up so dark corners aren't as dark and I won't fall victim to dark corner campers as much. With the Intensity I'd just take the captured video and adjust the brightness and contrast in Vegas. When I saw the brightness, contrast, and saturation options in the Elgato software, I thought I'd be able to just use those options and wouldn't have to adjust brightness and contrast in Vegas, saving me a step, but that wasn't quite true. The software's brightness, contrast, saturation, and hue adjustments are applied to the video output by the device (negating my high brightness) and not just the captured video. So to avoid this, I put an HDMI splitter between my Xbox and the Elgato. I have one output from the HDMI splitter going straight to my monitor and the other to the Elgato device (and not using the Elgato's output port). This still allows me to have the game very bright while playing, and being able to use the software's video options (thus saving me a step in Vegas).

Overall, I'd say the Elgato is the superior device for game capture. After getting used to some of the annoyances I listed above, the only thing I really miss the the no-delay video in the capture software so I can navigate game menus without switching inputs.

Q. What is "lag comp" or "lag compensation?"
A. It's fuckin bullshit

IV. Frequently asked questions about the WiiU, in case you are 11 years old or in a sorority

Q. I bought this game for WiiU, but my Wiibo keeps coming unplugged from the Nintendo Power port. Is there a remedy for this?
A. Yes, simply fasten the Super Mario sensor to the TiiVii console and you should be good to go!

Q. My motion sensor keeps dongling the USB and ruining my Wifi
A. Try forwarding your gigabit port into PiiCii mode and flipping on the PiiCiiIii switch!

Q. I'm trying to solve a far-reaching criminal conspiracy that tangentially involves the United States Department of the Navy and Marine Corps, where should I go for insight?
A. Flip your WiiU to CiiBiiS and wait for NCiiIS to come on, that should give you all the tips and tricks you can handle and so much more!

Q. I'm entering 6th grade next year, is there anything I have to download for my WiiU to make sure it still works?
A. Your WiiU will utilize its brand new internet connection to download PuberTii, a massive firmware update that continues until you enter community college!

Q. This definition is way too high for me! Is there a way to switch it back into 480i mode like I was using last year?
A. There sure is! Just go to the Nintendo website and order their proprietary 27" CiiRTii TiiVii monitor!

Q. Brad slept with my sorority sister Kayla and didn't tell me and now I'm worried! All I can do it move my precious WiiU in different directions in time with this Ke$ha song to assuage my anxiety!
A. That all sounds fine, but remember to get tested for STiiDiis, as HPiiVii can cause cervical cancer!

Q. My WiiU says it has an Internet, and I have not seen that before on a video-game console. Does this mean I have a virus?
A. Yes!

Stubear St. Pierre fucked around with this message at Aug 14, 2013 around 13:52


Stubear St. Pierre
Feb 22, 2006

I rape cats

Updated 2/22/2013

Zombies: The Spoonthing Awful Way - Below is 7,240 words about poo poo nobody cares about


Everyone is yelling at me for killing zombies wrong! What gives?

It's for maximizing points early on. Explosive kill is 50 points, body kill is 60, headshot is 110, and stab kill is 130.

It doesn't stop there.

Round 1: 4 pistol shots to the body, 1 knife
Round 2: 8 pistol, 1 knife
If you got max ammo
Round 3: 12 pistol, 1 knife
If you did not get max ammo
Round 3: 3 knives or headshots with the M14

Doors open up areas that have better weapons and perks. The starting room always has the Olympia and M14 which are really weak.

Now, you really don't have to game the point system to get far. It just helps you a lot early on to get set up with perks and mystery box weapons. I happen to be one of those psychos that will use the M1911 as long as is has ammo because I consider each bullet as 10 points in the waiting.

What are these skull/bone emblems next to everyoneís name?

Your emblem is your rank in zombies. Nobody knows the exact parameters, but there are theories based on fan data collection. Rank is loosely based on how well you play on average. If you do unusually poorly for a game or two, it is possible to lose a rank.

There are 5 ranks.

1: one bone
2: two bones
3: skull
4: skull with knife
5: skull with shotguns

Those tally marks are the number of days you have played a game in the past 5 days. When you play 5 days in a row to earn 5 tallies, your skull eyes glow blue. If you donít play for a day or more, you lose tallies. Tallies have no effect on ranking up.

What is Tranzit?

Tranzit is accessible by choosing it on the Bus Depot instead of Survival. The other maps only have the option for Grief and Survival (Nuketown only has Survival). Tranzit is essentially a giant donut map that is broken up into 5 main sections (3 of which are available in Survival). There is a Bus that transports you to each of these 5 areas.

Bus Depot (starting area, quick revive, bus piece)
Diner (starting mystery box, speed cola, bus piece, galvaknuckles)
Farm (double tap II, bus piece, fridge)
Power Room (accessed through a shed door, tombstone)
Town (bank, juggernaut, staminup, bus piece)

Full map picture

What can you tell me about dealing with lava/fire and on-fire zombies?

Bunnyhop on beds of lava to survive them as you cross. You can actually hop up and down in front of the Pack-A-Punch on Town Survival without dying while you upgrade.

For fire fissures, you just have to get used to jumping over them to avoid the screen blur.

Zombies catch on fire when they cross over fissures or lava. When they are killed, they explode, which blurs your vision and damages you slightly. To avoid the explosion, kill them with a headshot or with galvaknuckles. Otherwise, just keep your distance.

How to deal with the scary fog in Tranzit?

Denizens are the little creatures that emerge from the soil and latch spread-eagle onto your face. You can shoot them while they are leaping or you can stab them while they are latched. While latched, they take 5 starting knives, 3 bowie knives, or 2 galvaknuckle punches to kill. They do not give you points and they never stop spawning while you are in the fog. You can easily run an entire circuit around the map through all 5 locations from round 1 with nothing but a starting knife. As long as you are knifing, they cannot kill you. The hairy parts are the beds of fire that separate many of the bus stops. Just wait until a denizen leaps at you, kill it, and then start bunny hopping over the lava. If you donít wait, you will most likely get latched while hopping and then get downed. Once you have Staminup, Juggernaut, and Galvaknuckles, the fog becomes trivial.

How do you turn on the power?

Tranzit is the only mode that requires a power source for perk machines. The power switch is located at the 4th bus stop. Here you will find an AK74u and a 750 point shed door. Open the shed, drop down, walk through the short hallway, and enter the circular room. This room has an inner circle and an outer circle. The next room has the workbench for the power switch.

The power switch needs to be built. The three pieces are a circuit box, the switch handle, and a zombie hand. The box is either in the inner circle or the workbench room. The switch is either near a barrel in the outer circle or in the workbench room. The zombie hand is difficult to spot if you had to kill any zombies in the circle room, but you can find it either at the end or the beginning of the outer circle on the floor.

When you build the switch and turn the power on, that will release "him" and the door to the left of the workbench will open. The new room will have some busted walls that you can jump out of to get back to the bus.

The power will also turn on all of the perk machines. Even though you can use a turbine to turn on a perk machine without the power switch, it will only be temporary. As soon as the turbine is picked up or destroyed by a zombie, that perk will dim in your HUD and will not give you the benefits until the perk machine is turned back on. The other things that can disable perk machines are your EMP grenades.

How do you deal with the electric zombie?

The electric zombie is referred to as "him" in the Blops2 achievements and as "Avogadro" by some dude on youtube. There are some questions surrounding "him" that I'd like to answer (ranging from rudimentary to well-I'll-be-damned).

How to release "him": Turn on the power. The first time the power is turned on, he will go through a dramatic release in the circular room next to the power switch and then will disappear. This is the beginning of the Easter Egg. Once the power has been turned on for the first time, he can appear multiple times in future rounds even if you turn the power off again.

How to kill "him": You don't kill him exactly; you just make him go away for a few rounds. To get rid of him, you can stab him a few times or just hit him with one EMP grenade. He is invulnerable to all other attacks. The number of stabs required depends on your melee weapon. From my experience, it seems to follow the same rules as killing denizens. 5 stabs for the starting knife, 3 stabs for the bowie knife, or 2 punches from galvaknuckles. After each melee attack, he will hunch over and then teleport. He needs to teleport before you can register another hit.

How to spawn "him": If you have tried to complete the Easter Egg, you know that he must spawn for you to progress. It may seem completely random while playing normally, but there is actually a reason for when he spawns. There is a lightning storm that migrates randomly around Green Run. If the lightning storm is over head when one round ends and another round begins, he will spawn. On top of that, he doesn't seem to be able to spawn on the next round after turning on the power or the next round after disposing of him (cannot be in back-to-back rounds). This means you can turn the power on in round 1 and have him spawn in round 3 at the earliest (and then again in round 5).

What happens to "him" after completing the Maxis side of the Easter Egg: Part of the Easter Egg is to capture him under the obelisk. This does not prevent him from spawning on storm rounds. When he spawns after completing the Easter Egg, he gets despawned automatically in less than a minute. I spent 20+ rounds in the PaP room after completing the Easter Egg. When the storm was over head and we ended the round, we would hear him spawn. Then we would hear him doing his normal teleporting to travel toward us. Then you would hear the noise he makes after you get rid of him. In a new game, the Easter Egg was still in effect and the electric zombie was still getting disposed of automatically. If you want to complete the same Easter Egg again, someone that hasnít done it must be the party leader.

Headshots are hard. How are you so good at them?

Headshots are the best way to take down a zombie as well as the best way to earn points. A PaP assault rifle has a 5x multiplier on headshots. A PaP sniper has a 10x multiplier on headshots. LMGs are the lowest at 3x. Overall, if you are not aiming for the head, you are wasting ammo, point potential, and are getting overrun more often.

The best way to get headshots is to TURN OFF AUTOAIM. You know how autoaim fucks you up in multiplayer when two enemies cross paths moving in different directions? That happens constantly in zombies. Turning it off in zombies does not turn it off for multiplayer, so you donít have to worry about messing with the options every time. Simply never aim below shoulder level and burst fire your automatics. Enjoy needing less ammo and gaining more points!

II. New Features

Tombstone Perk

When you go down to last stand, you have an option to drop a tombstone by holding (X). When you drop the tombstone, you immediately bleed out and need to wait until your party finishes the round to respawn. When the next round starts, you have 45 seconds to pick up your tombstone before it fades away like a power-up. When you grab your tombstone, you get EVERYTHING you had before you went down except for the Tombstone perk itself. That means you get your weapons, equipment, AND perks.

This also makes it possible to get more than 4 perks at once. If you have 4 perks, including tombstone, you can go down and drop your tombstone. When the next round starts, you can buy the two perks you did not have previously, buy tombstone again, and then pick up your dropped tombstone. This will give you all 6 perks. Itís incredibly difficult to do in Tranzit since the perks are spread out across all 5 areas, but in Survival, itís rather easy to do.

Double Tap II

This is infinitely better than the Double Tap perk from previous games. Not only does it increase your rate of fire, but it also doubles your bullet output. When you shoot one bullet from your gun, you expend only one bullet, but it splits into two bullets. This essentially doubles your damage and even further increases your DPS (deeps) since you also benefit from the rate of fire increase. Double Tap II has reached the ranks of essential perks that was previously dominated by Juggernaut and Speed cola.

Pack-a-Punch customization

After you Pack-a-Punch a gun, it is possible to change the attachment. The only guns that you can modify are the guns that are available in Black Ops 2 Multiplayer. Just take you Pack-a-Punched gun back to the Pack-a-Punch machine, and run it through again. The tooltip will still say it costs 5000 points, but it will only take 2000 points from you. This will replace the current attachment with a random attachment. When you first Pack-a-Punch a given gun, the initial attachment is always the same (with a random dot type when applicable). You can run the same weapon through indefinitely to get the attachment you desire (funds willing).

For instance, The MTAR turns into the Malevolent Taxonomic Anodized Redeemer (aka RepTAR) with a red dot sight for 5000 points. This is my favorite new zombies weapon. Modifying the Reptar will replace the red dot sight with a random attachment. Attachments I've seen on the Reptar are Grenade Launcher, ACOG, EOTech, Target Finder, and Millimeter Scanner. My favorite Reptar attachment is the Millimeter scanner because you can easily monitor multiple spawn locations and know in advance when a herd is coming.

The most drastic customization is on the LSAT (exclusive to Nuketown Zombies DLC). When you upgrade the LSAT, you get the FSIRT with a Target Finder (LAST becomes FIRST). The Target Finder is the absolute worst attachment for zombies since it cuts out peripheral vision completely and you see interlaced red diamonds all over the place. One of the random attachments you can get is the foregrip. When you replace the sight with the grip, the LSAT goes from being the worst weapon to the best weapon. It's more powerful than any other LMG, has tons of ammo, and is steady as gently caress.

The last big change is with the DSR. Snipers are awful in zombies since you canít see poo poo while looking down a scope. One of the random attachments on the upgraded DSR is iron sights. This becomes a rifle capable of one-shot kills well into rounds 40+.

And finally, here is a warning. Many of the weapons that do not have a sight when upgraded, such as the Five Seven and the Executioner, will allow you to pay 2000 for a modification, but they seem to have zero effect.

Buildable Equipment

Name: Turbine
Location: Bus Stop starting room
Components: mannequin (center), fan (bench near workbench), toy (magazine rack)
Usefulness: High
Purpose: Open powered doors, temporarily make perks purchasable without the power on, power the trap and turret equipment
Note: Zombies will target the turbine and destroy it. At least one person should always have one. If not, two.

Name: Zombie Shield
Location: Diner/Gas Station
Components: dolly (diner), car door (gas station bathroom or garage)
Usefulness: High
Purpose: Makes you invulnerable to zombie attacks from the front when equiped and from behind when you're holding your gun. You can bash zombies for a one-hit kill.
Note: The shield has a limited durability and will disappear after taking a bunch of hits and/or bashes. It does not seem to lose durability when it's on your back protecting you from zombies but this needs more testing. You get ZERO points for a bash kill.

Name: Gun Turret
Location: Farm
Components: lawn mower, ammo box, RPD (an item that's not usable as a gun)
Usefulness: Low
Purpose: This works like the gun turrets from previous games when it is places down but with a few differences.
Notes: The gun turret requires a Turbine to run. If zombies get close enough to it, they will destroy it. If you are caught in the line of fire, you will be INSTANTLY DOWNED. Because of the friendly fire, it cannot be used as suppressive fire or backup. At best, it can cover a point for you but will need babysitting.

Name: Jet gun (Thrustodyne Aeronautics Model 23)
Location: Everywhere (uses the Town bar workbench)
Components: wires (power room rafters), jet engine (tunnel between Bus Stop and Diner), headlight (shed between town and power), handle (nacht der untoten)
Usefulness: Low
Purpose: Suck zombies in the front and shoot liquified zombies out the back.
Note: There is a pressure gauge on the top. If the needle hits the red, the gun explodes into the 4 components and has to be rebuilt. The pressure gauge only drops when you have the gun idle in your hand and does not reset in your inventory. You have to get pretty close to kill a zombie. This thing is a piece of poo poo.

Name: Electric Trap
Location: Power Room (the area that gets opened after the power is turned on)
Components: plank with metal rods, battery, busted monitor
Usefulness: Low
Purpose: This works like the electric traps from previous games, except it has a much smaller area of effect.
Notes: The electric trap requires a Turbine to run. Zombies need to run head on to the trap for them to be killed. Since the trap is small, it is very easy for them to simply walk around it. If you touch it while it is powered, youíre hosed.

Name: Navigation Table
Location: There is an invisible workbench under the obelisk in the cornfield.
Components: board (tunnel), rock (bus depot), radio (nacht der untoten), some electric box
Usefulness: none
Purpose: Unknown at this time.
Notes: There is currently no use for the navigation table. There is a navcard in each of the Tranzit maps. The Green Run navcard is accepted in the Die Rise navigation table. No navcard is accepted in the Green Run navigation table yet. My theory is that each mapís navcard works in the next mapís navigation table with the last mapís navcard working in Green Runís navigation table. It may be a way to travel between maps once all of the DLC is release.

Points Bank and Weapon Fridge

In Green Run Tranzit only, you can store points and a weapon for future games.

A weapon can be stored in the fridge in the house at the farm. You cannot store the Ray Gun, the M1911, or the ballistic knife, but you can store everything else. When you store a weapon, it retains the ammo count and PaP status. When you retrieve the weapon, it will replace and store the weapon you have on hand. If you have nothing but the M1911, it will replace your empty slot and the fridge will be empty. If you have a weapon along with the M1911, you will have to replace your primary weapon because the M1911 cannot be placed in the fridge.

The bank in the town has two features related to points. One is the point deposit/withdraw. Just blow open the vault door to gain access to it. Here you can deposit 1000 points at a time up to 250,000 total points for future rounds. When you withdraw, you take 1000 points out and are charged 100 points for a net of 900 points. The other points feature is located in the teller area of the bank. There is a bottom drawer with two keys sticking out. If you punch the drawer with galvaknuckles, it gives you the option to share 1000 points. When you give 1000 points, you are charged an extra 100 points, and a point powerup is created that any other player can pick up. You can hit share multiple times to stack points on top of the powerup for others to pick up.

Permanent Perks

Tranzit has a unique feature that no other mode has had. You can earn permanent perks that will last with you for future Tranzit games. There is still a bit of mystery surrounding the methods to unlock these perks and what their effects actually are. When you unlock a perk, there is a green cloud that appears (similar to picking up a power-up) and your character will make a comment. There are certain conditions where you will lose these perks and you will be notified by a sound effect playing.

Quick Revive
Unlock Method: Get 11 to 18 revives in a single game (count is higher with more players). This can easily be boosted with one player standing on the edge of some lava while you revive them over and over.
Effect: You can tell you have this perk if you can revive someone by the time that the revive animation is complete. The animation ends when the syringe goes down off screen. Without the permanent perk or the perk cola, the animation ends at 50% revive progress. With either the permanent perk or the perk cola, the animation ends at 100% revive progress (1/2 time). With both the permanent perk and the perk cola, you can revive half way through the animation (1/4 the time).
How Itís Lost: Attempting to revive someone and not completing the revive will make you lose the perk.

Steel Barricades
Unlock Method: Repair ~50 window boards after round 10 starts (repairs from the first 9 rounds do not count). By the time I heard about this, everyone I play with already had it. We typically make crawlers in windows and take turns repair babysitting, so it just happens naturally.
Effect: You can tell you have this perk if your window barricade planks have steel reinforcements along the length. Also, zombies have to tug 3 times on each plank to pull it off. This adds about 5 seconds to the time it takes a window to become breached.
How Itís Lost: If you do not repair a single barrier for an entire round, you will lose this perk. Itís important to make an effort on rounds 1-9 to repair a barrier if you kept this perk from a previous game since you cannot earn it again until round 10.

Unlock Method: Head-shot kill two zombies with one bullet. This can be done in early rounds with an M14 or in later rounds with a more powerful gun. You know those zombies that keep walking and attacking for a second after you shoot their heads off? They donít count for this, so you may have to get multiple collateral headshots before it unlocks.
Effect: It is very easy to tell if you have it or not, but difficult to tell what the benefit is. When you have the perk, any zombie you kill will have its head explode. Just start a game, knife a zombie in the chest, and see if his head explodes. This is confirmed to double your headshot damage, so it is very important for higher rounds.
How Itís Lost: If you kill about 20 zombies without getting a headshot, it will be lost. This typically happens when you use a ray gun for an extended period of time.

Unlock Method: Die multiple times in a solo game and do not get kills when you are in the quick revive last stand.
Effect: Increases the amount of hits you can take before going down with or without buying Juggernaut. Without purchasing, it will take 4 hits for you to go down (up from 2). With purchasing, it will take 6 hits for you to go down (up from 5).
How Itís Lost: I havenít seen a consistent answer for this. Die some?

Red Instakill
Unlock Method: Get no kills for the duration of an instakill powerup while the rest of your party gets all of the kills. It seems more consistent if you let the zombies hit you a few times during the regular instakill. Itís usually two instakill durations before I get this unlock.
Effect: For about half of the duration of future instakill powerups, you will also have a red instakill icon appear. While the red icon is visible, zombies will die just by bumping into you. This is especially helpful when you need to revive a player since you canít fight back normally. This will kill crawlers in windows that you are repairing, so keep that in mind.
How Itís Lost: Get hit while instakill is active. Even though you can kill zombies by running into them, it is still possible for them to get a lucky hit in there. Also, when the red icon disappears and the white instakill icon still has time left, it is easy to get hit. Unlike what most people think about this, you CAN get normal kills and keep this upgrade just as long as you donít get hit while any version of instakill is active.

Steel Carpenter
Unlock Method: Repair a barrier after you pick up the carpenter perk and before it begins to automatically repair all windows.
Effect: All broken barriers are replaced by steel barriers instead of wood..
How Itís Lost: Iíve seen no evidence that this even persists to a future carpenter powerup.

III. Strategies (aka sick strats)


I like to get mostly set up in round 1. If you have two or more people and everyone has money in the bank, it's easy.

* One person needs 750 points and another person needs 1000 points. Once you hit that mark, stop killing zombies. Round 1 zombies are slow as poo poo and will not cause much of an issue.
* Build the Turbine, everyone grabs one, open the powered doors, grab the bus piece, upgrade the bus, and move on.
* Skip the diner and the farm. The person with 750 points gets off alone at the Power Station. The remaining people ride the bus to the Town.
* Power dude builds the switch and turns it on. You can also build the electric trap there and grab the wires for the Jet Gun, but they're not much help anyway.
* 1000 point guy opens the Bank in Town.
* Town dudes use grenades to open the two vault doors and withdraw their points. I typically take out 25,000 points and don't have to make another withdraw.
* Power dude drops the Turbine down near the closed door in the power room.
* One of the Town dudes enters the Pack-a-punch room and builds the machine. At least one person at ALL TIMES will have to stay in the Pack-a-punch room until the end of the game. Otherwise, one person needs to go back to the power room to temporarily open the PaP again.
* The other town dudes can go off getting their perks and hitting the box. While at the diner hitting box, you can open up the powered door to get another bus upgrade. Since you need Double Tap 2 at the farm anyway, you can get the last bus upgrade there. I'd suggest using the hatch upgrade to unlock the galvaknuckles in the diner rather than using the hatch on the bus.
* Power dude (usually me) either can wait for the bus to come back and take them to the town, or (what I do) they can hoof it to town to make a withdraw. I suggest having a town dude wait on the town side of the lava under the green lamp because the power dude running will likely go down there.
* Once one person has 4 perks and a solid weapon, they can go back to the Town pack-a-punch room and let the rest of the guys get set up.
* Once everyone is in the pack-a-punch room (hold out here for the rest of the game if you have 4 players) and is set up with 4 perks and at least one good weapon, you can CONTINUE ROUND ONE HOLY poo poo THIS HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET?!

The perks you should always get are Jugs, Speed Cola, and Double Tap 2. No substitutes. The 4th perk is up to you! I go with Stamin-Up since I already have the quick revive permanent perk and I don't plan on going down. I'd suggest Tombstone if you're more T Dog than you are Daryl.

"Solid" weapons are Galil, MTAR, FAL, LMGs, Judge, and Five Seven in that order. Your second weapon should be a Ray Gun or a "solid" gun. If you want to be stuck to window duty the whole game and have the steel barrier permaperk, you can use the ballistic knife and ray gun combo. The ballistic knife really loses its usefulness without Mule Kick.

If I WERE to play solo Tranzit, I'd hold out in the starting room with the M14 and Quick Revive until Round 4 or 5. Get at least 3 crawlers, grab a Turbine, and then take the bus to turn on the power and then go right to the bank to make a withdraw. Get Jugs and get back on the bus. Take the bus to the diner to hit the box. If you find the hatch, open up galvaknuckles and grab them. Then make it to the farm for double tap. Then drop your Turbine off at the power room at the closed door and hurry back to the Town to get in the PaP room before it closes. PaP and then you're ready.

For solo, I'd hang upstairs in the Town Bar. When you get overrun, go to the Jug room. When overrun there, back to the Bar. Rinse and repeat.

IV. DLC Maps

Nuketown Zombies

In celebration of Nuketown Zombies being released on 12/12/12 for Season Pass subscribers, I'll list some of the details around this unique map. It's silly to spoiler this information, so if you want to go into Nuketown wide-eyed and confused, then just skip this section.

Where the perks at: The perk cola machines are introduced in a new way. The map will start out with nothing but wall weapons and the box. Every few rounds, there is an air raid siren that will sound. When the siren stops, a random machine will fall from the mushroom cloud above and land in a random location on the map. This will happen every 4 or 5 rounds on average, but it is not consistent and there is no known definite way of predicting it. There is a clock and a kill counter that may be related. There are only 4 perks on this map: Juggernaut, Speed Cola, Quick Revive, and Double Tap II.

What about the Pack-a-punch: This is one of the random machines that will drop along with the perk machines. The 5 total machine drops will be completely random. That means you can get hosed over by having them drop Quick->Speed->Double->PaP->Jug because you won't be able to purchase Jugs until ~25 rounds in. I feel that if Jug is not one of the first two drops, you might as well start over.

Wall weapons: The first floor of each house has a weapon. One has the B23R and the other has the Remington (the better choice). The truck in the middle of the map has a barricade you can open to access the back of it. In there, you'll find the AK74u, Semtex, Claymores, and the Bowie Knife. If you throw a grenade into the truck, some boxes will move and expose the Galvaknuckles for purchase.

Clock and kill counter: The Nuketown sign in the center of the map has a population count. The population will count down from 99 to 0 as you kill that number of zombies. When the count reaches zero, a horn (not the same as the air raid) will sound and the clock hand will tick once. The clock is located above the B domination flag above the edge of the map. This clock is numbered 0 to 3 with a big white hand and a little red hand. This is most likely related to when the machines drop, but I haven't found any consistency to it. The only direct relation I have found is with the next topic below.

Power-up shed: One backyard has a fallout shelter while the other backyard has a shed with a purchasable door. This shed door will lead to a mannequin and a power-up. This power-up can be used only once, so save it for when you need it. The type of power-up is random. The power-up type will change every time the big hand ticks on the clock (so every 100 zombie kills).

Strategy: The safe word here is "bug out." As with all of my strategies, this is for multiple players. Unlike most of my strategies, this one works mostly the same for any number of players from 1-4.
* Stay in the middle area until you have enough points for a door and a box roll or two.
* Open the house door on the side where the box spawns and hit that poo poo. (alternatively, open the house that has the Remington and buy that)
* Play a few rounds near the box until everyone has a weapon and Juggernaut is available. Grab some Galvaknuckles to one-shot zombies until through round 13.
->Note: If Juggernaut is not available by round 14, I'd just restart the game.
* Once you're all set with guns and jugs, the bug out begins.
->Unlock the first floor doors and the back deck doors on each house. DO NOT open the stair doors inside the houses. This will create a circuit for you to follow without exposing you to unnecessary zombie entrances.
->Start your rounds in either backyard.
->Kill the first few zombies.
->When the backyard starts to fill with more zombies than players, shout "bug out!" (this phrase is important and substitute phrases are not advised)
->After any player shouts "bug out," all players must run up the backyard stairs, through the second floor, jump out the window, and head for the other house. Zombies will climb up from outside the window so communicating the presence of climbers is a must for the rest of the team.
->Once your team makes it to the other house, you can momentarily split up between the first floor and the backyard. Backyarders watch the back of the housers.
->In a moment, there will be a line of zombies charging into the first floor. The houser(s) can easily take them out with headshots in masses.
->When the initial herd is dispatched, zombies will start spawning in the backyard. The housers need to retreat to the backyard quickly. Once 4+ zombies are in the backyard at once or when the zombie herd from the other side of the map reaches the backyard, shout "bug out!"
->Rinse and repeat.

Easter Eggs: There are two songs and some story dialog that can be initiated. Beyond that, nothing has been figured out. There seems to be a Tranzit connection, but it is most likely just in story. Also, there is a story connection to the Moon Easter Egg from Blops1. I will not spoil any of this for now.

Die Rise

The map starts toward the top of the high rise. You make your way down through a series of drastically changing segments. Then you slide down into an upside down section of the first building. You can then leap to the second high rise. From there, you make your way to the roof. From the roof of the second high rise, you can jump to a room in the first high rise. From there, you ride the elevator up and you're back in the starting room. It's essentially a one-way circuit.

I was so helplessly lost the first few times through, but after a few more times it doesn't feel like a maze anymore. For the segment after the upside-down area that actually is a maze, you just hug the left side until you find the workbench and stairs.


Name: Sliquifier
Components: handle, stock, frame, cartridge
Location: Maze section - 2 floors - the workbench is on the bottom floor and the power switch is on the top floor
You can find pieces on a barrel near the workbench, on the landing above the stairs, in the power room (may be 2 here), in the room to the left of the power room, or the kitchen to the left of the workbench.
Purpose: It's the new wonder weapon. This time, it takes up a gun slot instead of the equipment slot. Only one person can carry it. It needs to be built once per game. If the first person that takes it ends up dying or replacing the gun, it then becomes an available roll in the mystery box (still limited to one owner like the thunder gun). A direct impact will liquefy zombies into a purple mist that will instakill any zombie that walks through it in a chain reaction. If you hit the floor, it will make it slick, which makes zombies perform pratfalls and prevents them from passing inclines.
Pack-a-punch: Not allowed.

Name: Trample Steam (Flinger)
Components: bellows, flag, steam assembly, grate
Location: The components are in the first two rooms. The workbench is in the room below the PDW room, which is the room that you can jump to from the roof of the second building. In a 4 player game, each player can grab a component and build this thing on round 1 without even having the power turned on. All it takes is opening the first two doors and dropping off the foot of the escalator to the workbench room. In solo, you can open the first door and just ride the quick revive elevator up and down until you can build all 4 pieces. Otherwise, you just need to turn the power on and complete a full circuit to jump back to the first building from the second building.
Purpose: Like the flinger on Call of the Dead, only portable. Use it to fling yourself to normally unreachable locations or use it to kill zombies with a 0.75 second rearming time.

Name: Navigation Table
Location: There is an invisible workbench under the dragon ramp on the roof. All components are also on the roof.
Components: board (near the workbench), rock (near the claymores), radio (behind the ramp down to the floor below), electric box (by the drop down elevator)
Usefulness: none
Purpose: Unknown at this time.
Notes: There is currently no use for the navigation table. There is a navcard in each of the Tranzit maps. The Green Run navcard is accepted in the Die Rise navigation table. No navcard is accepted in the Green Run navigation table yet. My theory is that each mapís navcard works in the next mapís navigation table with the last mapís navcard working in Green Runís navigation table. It may be a way to travel between maps once all of the DLC is release. Note that navcards in your inventory are persistent between games and you can only hold one. You will have to play Green Run, pick up the navcard there, then play Die Rise and put the Green Run navcard into the Die Rise navigation table avoiding picking up the Die Rise navcard.

New wall weapons:
PDW starts with 50-200 and upgrades to 50-350
AN-94 starts with 30-300 and gets upgraded to 50-600
SVU sucks

The AN-94 is the best gun to ever be included in zombies. PDW has a good amount of ammo, but isnít as good as a lot of box weapons.

Perk and Pack-A-Punch Machines:
The machine locations are randomized slightly. By slightly, I mean that Jugs, Double Tap, Mule Kick, and Pack-A-Punch are always randomized in the second building and accessible from the power area (3 of 4) and the roof (4 of 4). Speed Cola, Who's Who, and Quick Revive are always in the first building with quick revive constant and the other two swapping between games.

Who's Who is a much better version of Tombstone. When you go down, you appear as a ghost with just the M1911. If ghost you can get to your body, you can revive yourself. If your original body gets revived by anyone, that gives you all your perks and weapons back like tombstone. If your original body bleeds out, your ghost self becomes your normal body with just the M1911. You can buy weapons and perks as the ghost.

*Starting room until you have enough to cover some doors and still have enough for everyone to buy an AN-94 or PWD.
*Open the first two doors, go down the escalator to the PDW room, go to the third door, don't bother opening the door and carefully drop down to the next floor (optionally, open the door if you you're scared of falling), continue going down the floors, down the broken shaft, and into the AN-94 room.
>At this point you should have bought the PDW, the AN-94, or both.
*Hang in here until you have enough points to clear the next two barriers. Ideally, you want to get out of here before the crawler round at round 5-7.
*Clear the debris, continue through the rooms, leap across the gap to the other building when you reach the large red room, bare left through the maze until you get to the workbench, clear that debris, and go up the stairs.
*If you have an extra 1500 points to spare, open the power room and build the Sliquifier, and go to the roof by jumping on top of an elevator in the power room.
*If you donít have enough for the power room, there is an L-shaped hall that dead ends at an elevator shaft right near the stairs. This is where you want to hold out until everyone has enough points.
>This is where you want to get your first crawler round if you couldnít get to the roof. Sliquify the poo poo out of the L-shaped hall to make them much easier.
Note: If you can get to the roof and set up your flingers before the first crawler round, go for the free perk and 2k points bonus!
>If you haven't turned the power on yet, this is a great way to get the achievement for surviving round 10 without turning on the power.
*Once everyone is on the room, get comfortable. This is your end-game area.

Now that you're on the roof, you can get set up as you like when you have enough points accumulated. It's best to have one person stay on the roof with a zombie in a window while everyone else does their errands.

Your first errand should be to build the trample steam (flinger). Have a few guys jump back to the first building, jump onto the elevator that is not blocked by debris, and collect the parts from the first two rooms. You can use the elevator to get back down to the workbench, or you could go to the bottom of the escalator and carefully drop down onto the mattress below.

Once the flinger is built, one person will set theirs up on the ledge near the workbench facing the opening on the ledge of the roof building. That will give everyone easy access between the buildings. The other three people can set their flingers up side-by-side to completely cover the path to the hold-out area.

The hold-out area is the window under the dragon ramp. If you line the flingers up with the gray box under the ramp, you create a nice rectangular safe zone for your group. Everyone should have an upgraded AN-94 for this so that you always have the option of refilling the ammo off the wall between rounds. We can regularly get into the round 30ís like this.

This hold-out area also offers easy cover for the crawler rounds. If you kill all crawlers without using a gun (technically getting >=100% accuracy for the round), they drop a perk bottle and 2000 points in addition to the normal max ammo. The flingers will take care of most of them while action claymores and galvaknuckles can be used to easily dispatch the stragglers. This is the easiest zombie map to get all 6 perks.

The flinger phalanx is the best thing.

Stubear St. Pierre fucked around with this message at Feb 22, 2013 around 18:50

May 6, 2005

friendship is magic

Oh god what a glorious OP.

From the last thread:

just a butt posted:

Castle forever.

Blops 2 maps are kinda weird... In all the past COD games there were maps that I either really loved or really hated, but all the maps here I just kinda have an average opinion of. Plaza sucks but I don't really go out of my way to vote against it when it comes up in rotation.

Really, the only map I have a problem with is Carrier, and even then I've gotten used to flanking through the hanger side of the map and shooting everyone on the pubby perch.

Sep 5, 2007

hail satan

Captain Matchbox posted:

HAHAHA yes lets fix all the bugs in this heavily modified 10 year old FPS game engine instead of just annually letting some underpaid interns poo poo out some maps and action setpieces, now move it *cash register sound* ya wanna get paid?

not long left until theyre forced to rebuild from the ground up it'll be interesting to see what respawn do on nextgen consoles, too.

Dum Cumpster
Sep 12, 2003

*pozes your neghole*

I'm going to go ahead and ask to see proof of the other two people who voted for option 3.

Edit: one hundred thirty nine

Dum Cumpster fucked around with this message at Dec 19, 2012 around 19:10

Nov 14, 2004

Oct 2, 2009

"Butt Bounce?"
"Butt Bounce, kupo."

Teenagers posted:

not long left until theyre forced to rebuild from the ground up it'll be interesting to see what respawn do on nextgen consoles, too.

I wouldn't be surprised if they just kept the old engine and made it compatible for the nextgen consoles.

May 6, 2005

friendship is magic

Dum Cumpster posted:

I'm going to go ahead and ask to see proof of the other two people who voted for option 3.

Edit: four

Challenge them to 1v1 360 dead lifts.

Leal posted:

I wouldn't be surprised if they just kept the old engine and made it compatible for the nextgen consoles.

This is the most likely scenario. Why put any effort into these games when they're a cash cow as they are now?

Apr 23, 2003

Hey op what's your GT?
Where's the nuketown playlist?
Can I still get nuketown?
Can I get nuketown zombies?
How much is elite?
Why is spoon ignoring my boys application?
How do I fix the lag?
Why don't I get invites after I join in progress and prevent your easy win?
Why isn't there a search group?
Where's double XP?
Can I get Mtn dew for XP?

I'll edit in the other moronic questions that flood our beer talk and constant bitching!

Oct 28, 2002

I like the cut of your jib

Does anyone have the link to the mw3 quickscope parody montage? With all the seizure graphics? I've been looking for it all morning and I can't find it.

This is COD in a nutshell

hammeritme fucked around with this message at Dec 12, 2012 around 15:20

Nov 4, 2008

Thanks for the cool thread & OP , Pees w/ a Boner

gently caress the fairweather threadmakers

Stubear St. Pierre
Feb 22, 2006

I rape cats

you're welcome, brah

hammeritme posted:

Does anyone have the link to the mw3 quickscope parody montage? With all the seizure graphics? I've been looking for it all morning and I can't find it.

Do you guys have a clan or something or is it literally just the four of you that post in this thread?

Oct 28, 2002

I like the cut of your jib

I just spent 9.95!! posted:

you're welcome, brah

Do you guys have a clan or something or is it literally just the four of you that post in this thread?

Supposedly there is one but I'm not in it and I don't know who runs it. Here's the link to the thread in the private game server forum

hammeritme fucked around with this message at Dec 12, 2012 around 15:18

Oct 16, 2004

Paraphrasing moments of genius

I was about to suggest linking that one google doc with everyone's gamertag but then I remembered what happened the last time that was in an OP...

Jun 4, 2003

Please put the REAL world reveal trailer in the OP:


Stubear St. Pierre
Feb 22, 2006

I rape cats

Felt a bit self-conscious watching that one at work but I guess I'll add it with NWS tags

Stubear St. Pierre
Feb 22, 2006

I rape cats

Also if a mod happens upon this thread, the other one needs to be closed because the OP abandoned it and it's poo poo, and maybe you could change the thread tag to 360|PS3 since apparently "poo poo post" doesn't show up anymore when you don't select a tag

Feb 4, 2006


Congrats on the best OP in COD thread history.

If anyone is wondering about playing this on the WiiU I think you've answered all the important questions.

Fibby Boy
Jan 7, 2012

Mmm... Offshore Toast!

Shnakepup posted:

I was about to suggest linking that one google doc with everyone's gamertag but then I remembered what happened the last time that was in an OP...

We all learned how to better communicate with each other and learned what makes us all happy. What? Are you against having some sort of positive reinforcement for goon groups?

May 6, 2005

friendship is magic

I just spent 9.95!! posted:

Also if a mod happens upon this thread, the other one needs to be closed because the OP abandoned it and it's poo poo, and maybe you could change the thread tag to 360|PS3 since apparently "poo poo post" doesn't show up anymore when you don't select a tag

I don't know, in light of the people who got banned for the 9/11 emblems, the current one is perfect.

Spoon Man
Mar 15, 2003

Don't post clan requests here.
Post them in the horribly out-dated thread in PGS.

edit: removed old url

Spoon Man fucked around with this message at Dec 12, 2012 around 17:22

Stubear St. Pierre
Feb 22, 2006

I rape cats

Duly noted!!!!! In the OP!!!

speaking of, do you want to link me/pm me/email me your zombies posts or anything you want put in the zombies section

Spoon Man
Mar 15, 2003

I just spent 9.95!! posted:

Duly noted!!!!! In the OP!!!

speaking of, do you want to link me/pm me/email me your zombies posts or anything you want put in the zombies section

I will combine them into a block of text that would work better in a single post and send it to you.

Nov 10, 2009

venutolo posted:

Please put the REAL world reveal trailer in the OP:


I was expecting a trailer for a new season of the Real World, way to disappoint.

Feb 16, 2007

Menschliches! Allzumenschliches!!

Good OP, in it, voted 1 and moved on.

Dum Cumpster
Sep 12, 2003

*pozes your neghole*

Reminder: You can buy your way in to BTSX with diablo gold.

Nov 26, 2004
Putting the "emo" back in "chemotherapy".

Also this

Feb 4, 2006


Spoon Man posted:

I will combine them into a block of text that would work better in a single post and send it to you.

This reminds me: sorry I didn't accept your invite last night. Whenever I get an invite from you I think it is for Zombies, which I touched once between BLOPS1 and World at War.

Dec 13, 2003


Spoon Man posted:

Don't post clan requests here.
Post them in the horribly out-dated thread in PGS.

Jesus, that OP is incredibly outdated.

I know what I'll be doing this morning.

e: Saw your post in the thread. Since when did they change the procedure for clan invites?

Webbeh fucked around with this message at Dec 12, 2012 around 16:38

Jun 7, 2006

Diligence is the mother of Luck

Defending B with an AGR is fun...but not in the way you'd think:

Jul 16, 2004

Who wants to play video games?

Went to go record a clip from a ground war game when I came to find that they apparently never fixed the bug from Black Ops 1 where Theater Mode only records half of a Ground War game.

So I decided to play MW2.

Spoon Man
Mar 15, 2003

New clan invite thread for blops2:


Lazyfire posted:

This reminds me: sorry I didn't accept your invite last night. Whenever I get an invite from you I think it is for Zombies, which I touched once between BLOPS1 and World at War.

I have never invited you to a zombies game and will continue to only invite you to multiplayer games. I always send an xbl message inquiring about zombies since there is no in-game distinction for invites or even being in a party/pre-game lobby.

Spoon Man fucked around with this message at Dec 12, 2012 around 16:46

Jan 12, 2010


Why'd you ragequit last night dawg, why'd you ragequit.

Anywho, last night was fun. Hopefully it wasn't a one time thing. The game is enjoyable when it isn't making GBS threads all over your chest with connection related douchebaggery.

Nov 26, 2004
Putting the "emo" back in "chemotherapy".

teknetik posted:

Why'd you ragequit last night dawg, why'd you ragequit.

My roommate was downloading stuff so I was on a 1-bar.

Feb 4, 2006


Wazzit posted:

Went to go record a clip from a ground war game when I came to find that they apparently never fixed the bug from Black Ops 1 where Theater Mode only records half of a Ground War game.

So I decided to play MW2.

Yeah, theater was broke from the start, three or four bookmarked clips from the first couple weeks don't show up in my log, and the ones I could find were in "recent games," as Bookmarked films was not populated.

Stubear St. Pierre
Feb 22, 2006

I rape cats

Added another youtube channel, also I'm open to putting up whatever quote people want next to their channel

Dec 13, 2002

Athanatos posted:

Defending B with an AGR is fun...but not in the way you'd think:

when the hell did you change your avatar

Also, aside from being a crate murder robot, the AGR also cheats: it tracks right in on the head every time. Robot aimbot hackers

Lazyfire posted:

Yeah, theater was broke from the start, three or four bookmarked clips from the first couple weeks don't show up in my log, and the ones I could find were in "recent games," as Bookmarked films was not populated.

I thought at first you could sort of end-run it by going in through "COD TV" instead of Theater, but bookmarks were always broken. Then they broke theater completly because of the prestige glitch and now I'm not sure what works and what doesn't.


Nov 3, 2000

how do i flipped bike

Hooray for a new thread! I wonder what we will be complaining about on page 100....I bet it's lag.

Nov 6, 2008


I would love to put my Blops Exploits in my Youtube Channel, But still the game wont render my videos and put them on there

Also, sorry to the goons I told I would be back in a few minuites, I fell asleep for like 14 hours

ALSO, SPOON MAN I would be interested in doing Zombies Cheevos with you, or just zombies, You might have to take me under your wing for a bit, but I can handle it.

Slayer1597 fucked around with this message at Dec 12, 2012 around 17:27


Aug 23, 2004

Show us what you got, what you got

Lazyfire posted:

Yeah, theater was broke from the start, three or four bookmarked clips from the first couple weeks don't show up in my log, and the ones I could find were in "recent games," as Bookmarked films was not populated.

The theater breaks if it migrates hosts halfway through the match. Sometimes you'll see video clips from each host, sometimes not. Sometimes you'll only get a few minutes recorded of a match.

I don't know how long it keeps games in the Recent Games tab but bookmarking just adds a pretty star to the clip so it's easier to find. If you want to save the film, select it and there will be a button prompt to save it to your Films collection. It won't be removed from here unless you delete it.

As far as I know, rendering clips since the patch fucks up the sound, they're something like 2-4 seconds off-sync. So now I have all these dumb pistol videos clogging up my library waiting for it to be fixed.

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