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http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap10...y-buffalo-billsquote:Chan Gailey could not survive another season without progress. The Buffalo Bills announced Monday that Gailey is out as coach. This does not do the world justice. I wanna talk to you about Chan Gailey and how horrible he is. How did we get here? How did we gain a proven failure as a coach in 2010? Because Chan Gailey, my fine friends, was the only man who would answer the phone. The only man besides Marty Schottenheimer, who didn't get the phone call. 2010:  Gailey won the lottery after the Bills FO attempted to court Bill Cowher, Jon Gruden and Mike Shanahan. They were offered the opportunity to stab themselves in the dick with scissors or coach the Buffalo Bills. Now there are three less penises in the world. Physically, anyway. Spiritually, them dicks be swingin'. Gailey inherited an RB stable that should have run riot over the NFL - Marshawn Lynch, Fred Jackson and a rookie CJ Spiller. Alas, the Bills being the Bills, we started 0-8 on the strength of, well, no strength. No defense. Trading Marshawn Lynch to Seattle for a sixth-round pick. Trent Edwards being the starting quarterback. Could Chan Gailey have helped? Absolutely. He could have actually USED the Pistol offense he claimed to have installed, or perhaps the no-huddle offense that got Alex Van Pelt fired in preseason for his disastrous failure at installing it. Maybe he could have called plays that didn't involve Captain Checkdown giving up on anything fun or useful. Or, you know, kept pounding the three running backs we had and daring the NFL to stop him. It would've ended better than an 0-8 start, a blacked-out win over Detroit that sent me into a rage that involved my very first TFF post, and a 4-12 record. Dead last in the AFC East. 2011:  Buddy Nix started free agency asleep in bed. Ryan Fitzpatrick was anointed leader. We had a pretty good start! 5-2, beating the Redskins in Toronto, breaking our 15-game losing streak against New England in a dramatic comeback, and looking like we could outscore anybody on any given day. So we gave Ryan Fitzpatrick $50 million, because Ryan Fitzpatrick obviously was never going to regress ever. Until he broke his ribs, anyway. And forgot to mention it to anyone. And helped destroy the passing attack anyway. Being a gamer is all well and good, but you need to tell Chan Gailey this. He either didn't know or decided Broken Fitz was better than Healthy Tyler Thigpen. (It's probably a wash.) In any case, what normally happens to the Bills happened to the Bills. 1-8 finish, blowout loss at New England (losing 49-21 after leading 21-0), and conservative playcalling that usually predicated itself around "CJ Spiller? Who?" and then watching Fitzpatrick miss his target by two yards. But we beat Tebow's Broncos in the home finale, so, um. Yay. 6-10 at the end. Dead last in the AFC East. 2012: Mario Williams! See? People want to come play in Buffalo! Except he got used poorly and needed midseason surgery to get himself back into form. So that's one good defender. Shame the other ten were coached by Dave Wannstedt, whom Gailey hired as a favor. You see, Wanny did it for Gailey back in the Dolphins days, so since it failed in the south, it ought to succeed in the north, and certainly isn't a case of virulent failure nepotism! Fitzpatrick remained the old Ryan Fitzpatrick, not justifying his salary, and nobody gave a gently caress what he shaved his beard into for the season finale. We made Mark Sanchez, who we ostensibly had all offseason to gameplan for, look like a worldbeater. Let that last sentence sink in, like an oatmeal bath mixed with acid.  We signed Vince Young and cut him in the preseason. He was inconsistent, you see. We signed Tarvaris Jackson, and he rotted away in hell. We resigned Stevie Johnson, and his relationship with God has only deteriorated since. You might think our 3-3 start was a good sign on the surface, but then you see the losses - that horrifying blowout loss to the Jets, the Patriots doing that thing they do, and Alex Smith putting up six touchdowns in his final shining hour before the Ostrich ate his soul. Gailey had no answers. He had twelve rushes a game for Spiller, screen passes to Donald Jones, punts regardless of content or merit, and an utter lack of spine. He coached this team as if it had something to lose. And he has lost, my friends. He has lost his job. And he can suck my dick. THE FUTURE: We'll try and woo somebody. Lovie Smith will see large funds, and the phone won't ring. Andy Reid will hide under a rock, pretending he can't hear the ringtone that goes NO! STOP! DON'T! Every coach with a future will run in terror from Western New York, just as last time, and when Buddy Nix smiles during February press conference that announces Romeo Crennel as the new head coach of the Buffalo Bills, you will hear a scream. Depending on where you are, it may be Lovie taking option A and stabbing himself in the dick. It may be a fan base, once again pillaged to renovate a stadium that may well be abandoned by 2020. It may be the small child that I kill in Philadelphia in March. It may be all these things, and more. Chan Gailey is gone, but hope left ages ago. Good afternoon, you sons of bitches with your winning cultures. Come and pretend that optimism is warranted this afternoon.
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| # ? Dec 31, 2012 19:23 |
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| # ? May 23, 2013 14:55 |
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It's not like it can get any worse, Fancy rear end Ho, have at least a little bit of hope.
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| # ? Dec 31, 2012 19:30 |
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Fare thee well, man who attempted to fake a timeout to psych out the other team. I'd say we hardly knew ye, but we knew you all too well.
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| # ? Dec 31, 2012 19:32 |
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Yasser Arafatwa posted:It's not like it can get any worse, Fancy rear end Ho, have at least a little bit of hope. It can get worse. We could trade Mario Williams for a third-rounder. We could re-sign Brian Brohm. Roscoe Parrish could come to collect the souls of the unclean and wicked, leaving Buffalo strangely well-populated. Mark Sanchez could not only stay, but torch the Bills AGAIN. The Bills could move to Toronto or Los Angeles. I had hope when Jauron was fired; Perry Fewell, rather than continue to be the head coach, opted to be a coordinator for the New York Giants. He then went on to win a Super Bowl as a coordinator with the New York Giants. I had hope at 5-2 last year, before the Toronto game, where Ryan Fitzpatrick reverted into a pumpkin. The 2013 Buffalo Bills are going to finish dead last in the AFC East, and they're going to do it in an even more soul-deadening fashion than this year, and the year before, and the year before that. Of this, I am certain.
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| # ? Dec 31, 2012 19:40 |
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I keep hearing about the Bills leaving, but it always sounds like baseless speculation to me based off a business deal that frankly they'd have been dumb to turn down with the Toronto thing. What is their lease situation?
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| # ? Dec 31, 2012 19:50 |
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Fancy rear end Ho posted:I had hope when Jauron was fired; Perry Fewell, rather than continue to be the head coach, opted to be a coordinator for the New York Giants. He then went on to win a Super Bowl as a coordinator with the New York Giants. I thought the reason he went to the New York Giants was because the Bills weren't going to retain him as a head coach. Do I remember that wrong?
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| # ? Dec 31, 2012 19:52 |
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Fancy rear end Ho posted:Gailey won the lottery after the Bills FO attempted to court Bill Cowher, Jon Gruden and Mike Shanahan. They were offered the opportunity to stab themselves in the dick with scissors or coach the Buffalo Bills. quote:Every coach with a future will run in terror from Western New York, just as last time, and when Buddy Nix smiles during February press conference that announces Romeo Crennel as the new head coach of the Buffalo Bills, you will hear a scream. Depending on where you are, it may be Lovie taking option A and stabbing himself in the dick. This is what sucks the most. Three years ago we couldn't attract poo poo, and nothing has improved. I'm terrified of whichever Bellichick-tree retread failure we're going to sign. Nail Rat posted:I keep hearing about the Bills leaving, but it always sounds like baseless speculation to me based off a business deal that frankly they'd have been dumb to turn down with the Toronto thing. What is their lease situation? http://www.buffalorumblings.com/201...n-stadium-lease 7-10 years, thanks largely to state/county money. Ralph Wilson has traditionally opposed any relocation by other franchises, but he's also almost dead.
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| # ? Dec 31, 2012 20:17 |
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Goddamn the Bills had Lynch, Jackson and Spiller. I totally forgot they traded Lynch for peanuts. What was the reason for that?
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| # ? Dec 31, 2012 20:26 |
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Codependent Poster posted:Goddamn the Bills had Lynch, Jackson and Spiller. I totally forgot they traded Lynch for peanuts. What was the reason for that? He'd regressed here and had trouble with the law. He needed a change of scenery.
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| # ? Dec 31, 2012 20:40 |
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Chan Gailey was awesome in college: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYbi5SV7sI4 He should go back there.
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| # ? Dec 31, 2012 20:40 |
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Tremendous Taste posted:He'd regressed here and had trouble with the law. He needed a change of scenery. But he loved the Applebees!
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| # ? Dec 31, 2012 21:17 |
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drat, this was way better than my stupid firing post. FAH, you do incredible work. I sort of want to see what Lovie Smith would do with you guys. However, if I were you, I would be leery of hiring another Chicago retread. 
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| # ? Dec 31, 2012 21:27 |
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Jono C posted:This is what sucks the most. Three years ago we couldn't attract poo poo, and nothing has improved. I'm terrified of whichever Bellichick-tree retread failure we're going to sign. Bill O'Brien's name is hot.
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| # ? Dec 31, 2012 21:43 |
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Didn't see who made this thread when I clicked, and after reading a couple paragraphs I smiled and said "Fancy rear end Ho". Love you dude. Reposting what I said in the Hot Seat thread: EugeneJ posted:Buffalo should hire Lovie Smith as head coach and Romeo Crennel as defensive coordinator
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| # ? Dec 31, 2012 21:54 |
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Tremendous Taste posted:He'd regressed here and had trouble with the law. He needed a change of scenery. Honestly, I think Gailey lost his nerve at some point last year. Up until the losing streak, he'd actually been fairly aggressive and the team was coming through under pressure, but the losing streak broke them spiritually. If that didn't, the blow-out loss to the Jets in the season opener did. In any case, Gailey became stubborn and inflexible, unwilling to even consider changing course with an iceberg dead ahead. He became attached to Fitzpatrick and remain attached to Wannstedt, and was unwilling to pressure them, let alone ditch them. In the end, the team became listless and unable to perform under pressure, a perfect reflection of what Gailey and his staff had become. Thankfully, we do have a lot of talent on this roster now. 3 years ago, C.J. Spiller was an exciting roleplayer. Now he's a franchise back. Stevie Johnson was some no-name 7th-rounder buried beneath trash like James Hardy, and the jury was still out on Andy Levitre and Eric Wood. Scott Chandler was some dude, and the defense was Kyle Williams and a young free safety named Jairus Byrd coming off of a disappointing sophomore campaign. I think it's a much more inviting job now, and I think Lovie would be a great hire. There's a ton of great raw material on the defense, and such a heavyweight would no doubt have an easier time convincing Jairus Byrd to stay. We'd just have to make sure he hires something other than a drooling incompetent for OC.
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| # ? Dec 31, 2012 22:13 |
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There was one answer Gailey gave in a post-match presser that truly swung me to thinking he needed medicating. When Gailey was asked why C.J. Spiller wasn’t out on the field for a particular series during any number of games this season. His answer was something like “it was Fred’s turn” or to do an Elmer Fudd impersonation. I hope they send him over the Niagara in a barrel. TG-Chrono fucked around with this message at Dec 31, 2012 around 23:40 |
| # ? Dec 31, 2012 23:35 |
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Holy poo poo, C.J. Spiller's only roadblock for the record next year is injury.
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| # ? Dec 31, 2012 23:44 |
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Is this where the party is at? 
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 00:18 |
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Is anyone worth hiring even interested in going to Buffalo though?
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 00:31 |
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It probably depends on how much freedom a GM/Coach tandem is given to revamp the obviously broken system.
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 00:42 |
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I Hate The Bills And I Have No Hope For Them go bills
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 00:47 |
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I hope Andy Reid goes for it so I can make jokes about a Walrus and a Buffalo walk into a bar or something.
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 00:51 |
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ForbiddenWonder posted:I Hate The Bills And I Have No Hope For Them We Long For Death Yet Support The Bad Football
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 01:01 |
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I'm rooting for you. I went to college in Buffalo tv territory, so do good things and do them soon.
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 01:25 |
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bills are going to hire dave campo most likely
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 01:30 |
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Fancy rear end Ho posted:We Long For Death Yet Support The Bad Football I Have No Hope But I Must Cheer
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 01:36 |
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I Love You But I've Chosen Rooting for Buffalo Darkness
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 05:24 |
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D.N. Nation posted:Chan Gailey was awesome in college: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYbi5SV7sI4 I've never trusted Chan Gailey... and I never will. I can never forgive him... for the Reggie Ball Experience.
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 05:38 |
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Fancy rear end Ho posted:It can get worse. We could trade Mario Williams for a third-rounder.  with his contract? We'll give you a 6th and you'll like it.
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 10:47 |
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I'd take Mario for a 6th.
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 11:39 |
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Someone interview CJ Spiller quick!
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 11:42 |
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Toussaint Louverture posted:Someone interview CJ Spiller quick! We will give the Bills a 5th round draft pick for him, too. We will have that 3-headed rushing attack they were so afraid of with Spiller, Turbin, and Lynch. Fear us, NFC West.
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 12:29 |
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Seemed appropriate to post this here: http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/8...am-russ-brandon quote:The Buffalo Bills on Tuesday promoted Russ Brandon to the position of president and CEO with full authority over the team's operations.
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 17:33 |
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bhsman posted:Seemed appropriate to post this here: We're also lining up a bunch of interviews already. It is unusual for us to be so proactive and to (seemingly) have so much interest.
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 19:08 |
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so uh what happens when ralph dies tomorrow
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 19:58 |
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How much has Ralph Wilson been involved with decision-making and day-to-day operations the past few years anyway? Probably not much. The Russ Brandon promotion feels more like he's just getting a new title. Brandon's the guy who signed Terrell Owens purely to sell seats and merchandise, so don't expect him to get out of his "marketing first" mentality. Hell, today's press conference could just be him going "See, we ARE changing things - buy tickets again please!" when by keeping Nix they're really not.
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 21:06 |
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It's funny to look back at that Toronto game, which seemed like a low for the Skins and a high for Buffalo.
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 22:09 |
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jordjevic posted:Is anyone worth hiring even interested in going to Buffalo though? This always seems to be the worry when the Bills are looking for a new head coach and recent history certainly doesn't bode well for the team. However, has the team ever had as much talent as it has now during this transitional stage? I mean, from a player perspective, this isn't as much as a knock it down and start it over project as it has been in years past. Surely, there must be a defensive minded coach out there that wouldn't mind seeing what they can do with their defensive line, right?
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 22:09 |
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Burger Trench posted:Surely, there must be a defensive minded coach out there that wouldn't mind seeing what they can do with their defensive line, right? Absolutely, having Byrd, Gilmore, Dareus, K. Williams and M. Williams available on the D should make someone really excited. Their blitzing scheme this year was lazy and predictable and it is mainly the LBs that need work on.
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| # ? Jan 1, 2013 23:16 |
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| # ? May 23, 2013 14:55 |
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Febreeze posted:I thought the reason he went to the New York Giants was because the Bills weren't going to retain him as a head coach. Do I remember that wrong? Nope that's correct to my understanding as well. I think he did get a serious interview though. The Bills have a really unhealthy obssession with the Pittsburgh Steelers. It started with Tom Donahoe then we tried to hire Kevin Colbert right out from under them. When that failed, we hired Doug Whaley his assistant. We tried to hire Bill Cowher then we actually loving did hire some guy just because Cowher suggested him to us so we'd leave him alone! That's how creepy we are with the Steelers that a former coach of theres can basically dictate who coaches our team. Oh yes and former Steeler coach Russ Grimm according to reports wouldn't even interview with the Bills the last time, and the Bills are ACTUALLY seeking him out despite the fact that he is responsible for the Cardinals offensive line that may be one of the worst units I've ever seen play this game. And now we are all of a sudden "high" on Ken Whisenhunt. If Lovie Smith doesn't at least get an interview, I'm going to be absolutely furious. I don't claim he's the saviour of the franchise, but I think he would fit in really well in the area. He is very well respected across the league, has had a history of success, and most importantly could get the Defensive players to play more disciplined and more cohesive. I like Offense-Oriented Bills teams more, but I think we would have more potential to be a better team if we shored up the defense that has some talented players who need guidance. That's what my gut tells me anyway. pasaluki fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2013 around 00:29 |
| # ? Jan 2, 2013 00:22 |
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