Paradox Grand Strategy: From the Carnival of Lust to the Enlightened Times

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Paradox Grand Strategy: From the Carnival of Lust to the Enlightened Times

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

Is there a steam group, IRC channel or Skype chat for playing Paradox games multiplayer with goons? I got a taste of CK2 multiplayer playing with friends a while back and now single player just feels like a pale imitation

# ¿ Jan 6, 2013 02:10

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# ¿ Apr 20, 2024 01:05

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

Friend Commuter posted:

Because most of the posters on the Paradox forums are history spergs, common-or-garden spergs and/or ultra-nationalistic.

This is becoming increasingly obvious in the lead up to the megacampaign Raenir Salazar posted. I don't know how you lasted through four of these without going postal, duder! :negative:

# ¿ Jan 27, 2013 02:04

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

After playing a bit of EU3 recently, I'm starting to think all Paradox games could really use CK characters. Everything is just so boring without having idiot possessed midgets loving up your internal politics

# ¿ Feb 15, 2013 08:19

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

Hell, I'd just be happy if they made the tech views actual map modes so I don't have to dig through a bunch a menus to see why my Nubians keep getting slaughtered by an equal number of Greeks.

Rannos22 fucked around with this message at 01:44 on Mar 3, 2013

# ¿ Mar 3, 2013 01:42

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

Christ, we could really use a proper Kersch style tutorial LP of Vicky2. Especially if Heart of Dorkness makes it more of a game.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2013 00:42

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

DrSunshine posted:

Yeah, seriously. I tried to get in on V2, playing as Brazil, but after a couple of hours of messing around not really sure what I was doing, Great Britain came in and just kicked my face in for no good reason, and I was completely helpless.

Hey, at least you got farther than me. I got as far as starting a game, clicking around the interface and quitting to play CK2. For being a game that "practically runs its self" it's super intimidating. Almost as much as HoI3.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2013 01:47

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

Okay, now I'm really not sure about EvW if that's their idea of an April Fool's prank :psyduck:

# ¿ Apr 2, 2013 02:48

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

WeaponGradeSadness posted:

Yeah, I don't quite get the doomsaying just yet. "They made a dumb joke and they have questionable priorities about what their DDs should focus on" is really the worst we can say about them so far. I mean, if that's enough for you to not want it, that's fine, but it's a long way from being Magna Mundi.

The MRA jokingly posted:

Key game elements include:
- Economical income from our ingenious economical system is the same per tick and not reduced in ANY way. Other games of the genre with equally high quality usually only reward women 70% of what their male friends would earn but that is all a distant pale memory.
- The research system contains actual tech and doctrines with military units instead of household appliances
- Enjoy the ship builder and design your own battleships or nuclear submarines without the usual need for a wet t-shirt photo shoot to gain access to such military hardware
- Voting in the UN will yield full points, not in any way reduced to an advisory role or one of being the interpreter for the other delegates
- Cabinet meetings with your government in politics screen will not be limited to you serving coffee and tea to the Head of State and Head of Government
- Unique feature for events where photographs include pictures of all the delegates including women above the usual cap of one woman per photo
- Spy missions will be carried out as instructed via the splendid use of fantastic spy cards instead of consisting of a gathering of spies all trying to get a photo under your skirt or into your cleavage
- Experience time ticks the same way as male gamers where time ticks away at the same rate as for anyone else without delay
- Unique game experience where we give you ALL the keys to your own nuclear arsenal not requiring your brothers, husband or uncles to hold a second key for you to be able to launch
- We�re also for the first time removing the demand for you to be wearing a uniform when playing the game. Instead you can just wear any regular power suit like our male gamers.

They suuuuure did :stare:

# ¿ Apr 2, 2013 05:06

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

Fister Roboto posted:

Are you seriously not getting the joke here?

Yeah I get that the joke is that both versions are the same. Because "haha, women are supposed to be wearing pink in the kitchen not playing GAMES!"

# ¿ Apr 2, 2013 18:16

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

Wolfgang Pauli posted:

How is that studio still making games? How can they afford to give their employees a living wage?

"Employees"? You are truly giving the one man that makes/tests/"markets" these games far too much credit.

# ¿ Apr 7, 2013 01:37

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

PBJ posted:

I've noticed that's the case with Imgur when trying to upload screenshots from Vicky 2. To fix it, I changed the file type from .bmp to .jpg.

Also, a map from my Danubian Federation game. I'll let you all figure out the differences.

Holy poo poo, look at that USA!

# ¿ Apr 21, 2013 07:03

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

Wait, do you own Iceland and Greenland? Or did they just vanish under the sea?

# ¿ Apr 21, 2013 09:09

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

What's wrong with the Ulm AARs aside from being horribly lazy and dull and not really showing off the game at all? They're so "funny"!

# ¿ May 23, 2013 00:45

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

Rejected Fate posted:

As far as I understand it that guy's apparently pretty popular on the forum, probably why they picked him.

LPs consisting entirely of fanfiction-esque writing that barely relates to gameplay is popular on the forums. Their AAR forums aren't exactly a gold standard. Also, I'm fairly sure criticism is against the rules because I haven't seen any even in the worst threads.

EDIT:
An example of one of their wonderful AARS:
http://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/showthread.php?631494-AGOT-The-Mighty-Leech-lord

quote:

I am the lord of Dreadfort the most cunning person al over Westeros.Many tried to convince people that i am a cruel tyrrant but lady luck and some coincidences have taken care to not spread such terrible rumors.As it is evident i am generally competent with all the aspects of governing but i am exceptionally capable of intrigue which is the most important trait at our places especially if you wwant to ascend the ladder of feudal power.But as you all know the most important task of a lord is not to conquer or accumulate money but to take care of the continuation of his dynasty so at this place let me introduce you my bastard son and possible succesor.

Rannos22 fucked around with this message at 02:07 on May 23, 2013

# ¿ May 23, 2013 02:02

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

anti_strunt posted:

This stuff should seriously be in the OP, right next to a link to an archived version of the Carnival of Lust.

Never understood the whole personification of nations thing. Even less so making pornography out of it. It just seems really goddamn stupid. Then again this is from someone who literally recycles the same half dozen jokes (and is praised for it as the greatest writer on the paradox boards) so I guess it shouldn't be too surprising that he does other really dumb poo poo.
Also, did DR seriously make the popular = good argument about this guy who is PINNED on their forums and, allegedly, giving a sneak peek into an in development game? Of course lots of people are reading it, they're curious about the new poo poo coming up in your games!

# ¿ May 25, 2013 01:18

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

If you've seen all of the show's episodes you should be pretty much safe from spoilers unless you play the last two scenarios. Especially the last one based on the A Feast for Crows book.

# ¿ May 25, 2013 02:15

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

DrProsek posted:

succession by combat where the game compares the martial of my heirs and the best one succeeds my old character and the others die

This but add in a tournament with you and all your vassals where the winner gets the realm's primary title.
Might makes right (to rule) :black101:

# ¿ Jun 5, 2013 07:37

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

And on the forum post these words appear:
"My name is Goonymandias, king of kings:
Look on my pretty borders, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains.

# ¿ Jun 23, 2013 02:34

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

Yeah uh maybe they should have rehearsed this before hand. Sounds like they crapped out their speech a minute before the stream and are flying by the seats of their pants.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2013 21:25

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

Jeez, you guys were okay with Sunset Invasion but an ahistorical Cold War history game is too much huh? :colbert:

No, but seriously, this is truly awful

# ¿ Jun 27, 2013 05:13

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

uPen posted:

Apparently they're taking suggestions for historical leaders too so I guess they really are just trying to cut corners. I'd post asking for clarification but I don't really feel like getting banned from the paradox forums.

Eh, that's hardly a bannable offense if you don't say it like a douche. I've outright called people out on their low effort "AARs" and somehow remained unbanned.

# ¿ Jun 27, 2013 05:20

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

GFK posted:

No need to be anxious, the historical leaders are in and if you think we missed someone please inform us so we can examine them and include them. If you still want to opt out of the gamer generated content it's easily modable as the gamer generated content is marked in the game files so it should not be an issue at all. With regards to quality control, we are making a serious game and we have a team of extremely dedicated guys. It would be silly of us to include pink rabbits, Ewoks or zombies as ministers (Kim Il Sung excluded as he is a historical leader and Eternal President of the Republic of North Korea, despite the fact that he is dead).

Its okay guys you can mod out our terrible design decisions in our serious ~~WW3~~ Cold War simulator :downs:

# ¿ Jun 27, 2013 08:52

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

unwantedplatypus posted:

Its nice seeing them start to focus on non-European nations more. Hopefully it isn't like in EU3 where my Pacific Japanese empire can be easily conquered by a small German nation from across the globe. Its also amusing to see nationalists whine that their very own special snowflake nation isn't getting attention.

Well, to be fair, Poland was kind of a big deal in Eastern Europe at this time.

vvv Yeah that guy sure is something else.

Rannos22 fucked around with this message at 00:57 on Jul 24, 2013

# ¿ Jul 24, 2013 00:49

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

Having interacted with Iwanow (insomuch as he was in the same EU3 game and TS chat as myself) I can say, without much doubt, the man is probably entirely sincere and is most certainly insane. Goddamn lunatic would literally not shut up about his breakfast for three hours!

# ¿ Jul 24, 2013 09:03

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

The septic tank usually isn't very well hidden.

# ¿ Dec 20, 2013 02:36

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

EU4 was dumbed down? It seems to me like if anything it got a bit more complicated what with the trade system and what not.

Edit: Haha yeah don't dumb down hoi4 so just ANYONE can play it instead of the true fans that spend almost 100 hours trying to grasp its mechanics. Also mark up the price like 400% so we know its meant for us.

Rannos22 fucked around with this message at 02:35 on Jan 26, 2014

# ¿ Jan 26, 2014 02:32

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

Rincewind posted:

I'm playing a V2 game as Austria (in NNM) in an attempt to get slightly better at Victoria before I... you know... LP it... but things are very much not going well. Early on, I allied myself to France with an eye towards loving Prussia, but then France and I lost the Brothers' War against Prussia and Britain. So then I cobble together a new sphere out of most of Italy (and form Austria-Hungary), but then France stabs me in the back and stomps me to get Lombardia for Sardinia-Piedmonte. I'm still hanging in there as the number six GP, but I don't have a GP ally and everyone hates me. What should I do?

Sounds like you're right on schedule to fight a couple wars in the Balkans, ally with Germany and pick a fight with Serbia after they kill some duke.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2014 20:40

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

Alchenar posted:

Please please please please please put a 'coolness' stat in the .txt files and then throw around a few hints that there are some secret stats that influence combat results.

It's a paradox game, knowing anything about how combat actually works will be a mystery to all for at least a couple weeks.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2014 18:05

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

Hitlers Gay Secret posted:

So I guess the consensus is Victoria III needs to be complex, but not too complex. Simple but not too simple.

What you're trying to say is don't make Victoria III.

You could say this about all the paradox games.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2014 02:34

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# ¿ Apr 20, 2024 01:05

Rannos22: Mar 30, 2011; Everything's the same as it always is.

Rutibex posted:

Ok I just started browsing through some of these family trees in Crusader Kings 2. This is a fantastic amount of detail; I'm not sure how accurate they are but they ones I knew off the top of my head where spot on. I clicked on the "History" tab for the title of Byzantine Emperor and it gave me bios and stats for every Roman Emperor going back to Augustus

Of course Emperor Commodus has a Intrigue score of 12 I don't know why they felt the need to include that but I am glad they did.

Some of the stats of historical figures are randomized iirc. Not sure if that applies to the dead or not though.

# ¿ Nov 9, 2014 07:00

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Paradox Grand Strategy: From the Carnival of Lust to the Enlightened Times