- Lucid Nonsense
- Aug 6, 2009
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Welcome to the jungle, it gets worse here every day
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They're all drunk. I'm not sure what you expect.
In all seriousness I see what you mean in some of those instances. However, most of those fit the way I imagined the characters would speak. They aren't linguists, and even if they were, the majority are piss drunk. They're going to need transitional phrases to keep their thoughts in line.
On a different note, they aren't in there to convey the meaning the characters are trying to convey; they're in there to keep the persona going. If I were to take all of those out, they would sound almost like any random guy you meet on the street today. That's boring and doesn't fit the setting I was going for. Imagine the same dialog in a modern sports pub, then try it in what you imagine a turn of the century pub to be.
If it's something that simply annoys you then .
It seems like you're trying to get a breezy, semi-comedic feel going. Ever read any PG Wodehouse? It sounds like you're trying for something like that, but with a little sci-fi on top.
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