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Martello
Apr 29, 2012



The Thunderdome is back for a new year, but it ain't shiny and new. It's still stained with the dried blood and pulped brains of past contestants. The stands still ring with the cries of the blood-hungry masses. The judges still sit their carven chairs, staffs of bone, skull, and human skin in their hands. The Thunderdome is eternal, indomitable.

This is a weekly flash fiction contest. The word stinkyhole is ever-changing, the prompt always new and often absurd. The rules are whatever the maddened, often drunken brains of the judges come up with. A given week's rules could be anything from each competitor pitted against another with a unique prompt per duel, to the normal individual entries for one prompt, to domerushing a literary magazine with the entries.

There will always be a winner and A Loser. The winner will become the judge for the next week, the loser will receive the Thunderdome Loser standard shame-atar, courtesy of neonnoodle.

The number of judges will always be Three, unless I or another boss judge says otherwise. One judge will always be the winner of the prior week's contest. The judges convene behind-the-scenes to decide prompt, rules, and deadline, and then again at the end of the contest to determine winner and loser.

At least one boss judge will always be a member of the Three. Boss judges will rotate on a basis of "when we loving feel like it."

Boss Judges

The Original Three
Martello
Erik Shawn-Bohner
Stuporstar

Those Deemed Worthy
HiddenGecko
Sitting Here
SurreptitiousMuffin
Fanky Malloons
sebmojo
twinkle cave
budgieinspector

He Who Keeps Coming Back for More
Chairchucker

Weekly contests are the main event, here. The retarius against the murmillo, the homplomachus crossing blades against the thraex. But there is another type of bloodshed that will take place in this profaned arena. The Thunderduel, one 'domer against his sister. This is the animal show, the occasional naval battle. The off-schedule, off-kilter one-on-one informal contest. The glove of the Thunderduel may be thrown down at any time, for any reason or none at all. A judge can be chosen by the defender or may step up of his own accord. The judge will not be one of the Three for that week. Thunderduel's will last for as many rounds as the challenger offers, but always an odd number.

Critiques in-thread are fine and useful. Responding to them isn't. Write, read your feedback, shut the gently caress up, and get better. No more of this whiny back-and-forth.

This is Thunderdome, you teary-eyed, weak-bellied baby bitches. Verbal abuse is not just allowed but expected. Thin skins can gtfo. Now get those fingertips to your filthy, goopy keys. And make your Papa proud.

synirc #thunderdome

Martello fucked around with this message at Apr 14, 2013 around 17:37

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Martello
Apr 29, 2012



Thunderdome links and records page. Put thunderdome in each field.

Martello fucked around with this message at Dec 27, 2013 around 03:16

Canadian Surf Club
Feb 15, 2008

Word.


Martello posted:


The number of judges will always be Three, unless I or another boss judge says otherwise. One judge will always be the winner of the prior week's contest. The judges convene behind-the-scenes to decide prompt, rules, and deadline, and then again at the end of the contest to determine winner and loser.


quote:

Three shalt be the number of judges, and the number of judges shall be three.
Four shalt not judge, nor either shall those judging number two, excepting that thou then include a fourth.
Five is right out.

I've taken a break due to holidays and other projects but intend to jump back into Thunderdome cannonball style and finally put a win under my belt.

budgieinspector
Mar 24, 2006

According to my research, these would appear to be Budgerigars.


Wait -- I've participated in less than a third of the Thunderdome challenges so far?

loving hell. Last semester was a waste.

budgieinspector fucked around with this message at Jan 10, 2013 around 00:25

HiddenGecko
Apr 15, 2007

You think I'm really going
to read this shit?


Here are my critiques for everyone. I'm harsh but I'm also not going to bullshit with you. I want you to write better and keep getting better.

Stone of Madness: Letís start with the obvious, youíre plover gambit failed, by the third paragraph nothing is happening plot-wise to hook your reader into the story. Itís a fairly simple story too, Giles creeps on a girl of indeterminate age. Other than being droll you amped it up with a excessive amount of purple prose and terrible adjectives.

Always remember that a 1000 words is a TINY amount of words. You canít have your characters doddering around and your story going nowhere. Read Sebmojoís story and study it. Itís an excellent example of capturing the utter essence of an unimportant moment in time and turning that into beautiful prose.

Symptomless Coma: A major problem I had with your piece was the clarity of your prose. So much so that I couldnít really place where your character was until almost the end of the third paragraph. Disorienting the reader has to be done with a purpose but in this case just confused me and If I was a just a reader reading this somewhere I would have stopped reading.

You need to outline or block out actions before setting them to paper because I would have looked on your story more favorably had there been a clear chain of cause and effect. Also I donít understand how your main character died. Did the komodo dragon come to life and kill him? WHAT!?

Swaziloo: I liked your story a lot and would have argued for you to win had Sebmojo not hit it out of the park this round. There are many intangible things in a good story that could be improved. You need to focus on editing that prose and really tightening it up. Donít be afraid to take the imagery to itís natural, non purple, conclusion. Try to make your dialog a bit more natural and in tune with the rest of your prose. Overall though, a fine fine job.

Zack_Gochuck: Stella finally figured it out. Bernard was a one-eyed ogre! Is either going to be the best story Iíve ever read or the worst. I want the next story you write for Thunderdome to come straight from your heart. Or your rear end, if thatís where your good stories live.
That being said. Youíre doing great. The worst thing you could do is stop writing or listen to me. Iím just very particular and ask a lot from art and what I read in general, Iím hard to please, itís not you. KEEP WRITING, gently caress YOUR HATERS.

SurreptitiousMuffin: You wrote a lengthy dick joke. You wrote a 1000 word dick joke. Mostly I was just WTF more so than being entertained or getting into it because it kept hitting me with punchlines and unnatural ways of approaching those punchlines. Youíre characters existed to tell the jokes instead of the jokes being born out of the characters. I was just confused.

Bad Seafood: I once wrote a found poem for one of my creative writing classes. When I got it back I saw that my professor had suggested edits. When I asked him whether it was OK to edit a poem Iíd crafted out of clever Facebook statuses he said it was. Do you know why you should always edit? Because the stream of gobbley gook pouring out of our minds is not fit for paper. And a good stream of consciousness piece should read more like a prose poem after all is said and done than a waterfall of words.

Noah: So weird, I think the main thing I wanted was more out of the story. It was reaching but not quite reaching as far as it could. Youíre story also is trying to do a little bit too much for the space it had. For some reason thereís just too much happening around your character that itís hard to focus on whatís actually happening in your story.

Twinkle Cave: A random series of seemingly horrifying things does not coherence make. Iím going to mostly complain about your content because you showed remarkable technical competency, and thatís half the battle.
A big issue is that you didnít focus deep enough on the here and now of the story that was occurring. This results in BIG STUFF happening to the character that is potentially world changing stuff for all of humanity. You only had a 1000 words and you were making them do too much. Focus on the immediate, the moment, instead of big generalizations.

Toanoradian: I went straight to the point. ďIím sorry for your loss.Ē And then I couldnít stop laughing.
ďNo.Ē ďYou should.Ē ďI donít want to see them in my dreams.Ē ďJust sleep.Ē ďI never slept alone.Ē Even slapping my own lips could not stop it saying ďthen I will sleep with you.Ē She looked at me. The thought didnít disgust her. And then I laughed again.
ďPlease sleep.Ē I continued to rub her waist. This worked when our mother did it to me. MORE MORE.
ďBut how else am I supposed to stop feeling sad? Blaming myself is all I have.Ē Itís like Iím reading a bizarre American psycho now.
Wasnít this on the Bible? ĎHer husbandís brother shall take herí? Yes it is. I shall take her. Possibly the best line Iíve ever heard pre-coitus from someoneís mind.
I used the tipping to cover her nipple and sucked it through the tie. I never asked for this!
Even in this darkness I could still see her brown eyes looking elsewhere. ďYouíre beautiful.Ē She remained silent as I removed my trousers. The goon cometh in the dark!

It was like a an onion article satirizing a Chic Tract. I LOVE YOU.

Capntastic: This was technically proficient and how I wish my interviews usually went down. However, itís more like you used this to plan out a real life interview than write a story. Youíre dialog was fine but this was the most boring thing I read this week just because it was like I was watching an actual interview. Remember, writing is a facsimile of life, not the honest to god drudgery of life.

Sebmojo: Really good job this week. Keep practicing along these lines. I donít really have much to add.

Iroel: Itís time to learn the most FUNDAMENTAL lesson in writing. Here it is. Format is everything. There. You heard me. You gave me a numbered list. It was like reading a powerpoint. I really didnít understand what was going on or why it was going on. The reason we here at thunderdome are so strict about format is that in the real world so are all the professionals. You submit a story in the wrong format and it goes in the trash, theyíre the easiest ones to reject too because the person writing them obviously had no idea how to write if they canít even format their paragraphs like everyone else. In the future, stick to prose or poetry. As much as you want to experiment with zany zany gimmick #47 try not to. Itís a crutch.


Supermikhail:2nd person POV is hard to do and hard to read. You pulled it off although your story was a little bit too sparse and just a little bit too magical.

Noah
May 31, 2011

Come at me baby bitch


Jumping in to open myself up for a Thunderbrawl again. Anyone feeling frisky?

Benagain
Oct 10, 2007


THUNDER
THUNDER
THUNDERDOME HOOOOOOOOOO

THIS WEEK'S EPISODE: XXIII: DIE FOR YOUR POETRY

THIS WEEK'S SUPER COOL AWESOME JUDGES
sebmojo
Bad Seafood
Benagain

The Prompt: Oooh, looky here, buncha whiny bitches all "but I prefer proooooose." Tough poo poo. Your challenge, should you be hard enough to accept it, is to write at least 350 words of poetry but not more than 1000 because that's just showing off.

What will your poetry be about, you ask? The most Thunderdome-y subject of all: DEATH. You must incorporate Death somehow, with one catch. We embrace death in the Thunderdome, and therefore your poetry cannot be morbid. What does morbid mean, you ask? Go find a loving dictionary and figure it out for yourself.

There is also an interesting RULE ADDENDUM. When you sign up, you must PROVIDE A FLASH RULE, which the next person to sign up must use when writing their piece. I will keep an updated list of peeps and flash rules in this op because I trust none of you. Sebmojo will provide the flash rule for the first person to sign up. Failure to provide a flash rule when you sign up will be punished!

SIGN UP DEADLINE 23:59 EST FRIDAY 11/01/2013.
SUBMISSION DEADLINE 23:59 EST SUNDAY 13/01/2013

DEATH ZONE
Warrior: Flash Rule (dickish comments by yrs truly)

SurreptitiousMuffin: Your poem must include a guitar, a tunnel and a juicer. Only internal rhymes.
Noah: Poem must be a sestina
Capntastic: Iambic Pentameter
HiddenGecko: Limerick
budgieinspector: every third line must contain enjambment
swaziloo: Must contain the words "mouth-friend" and "frigorific".
Iroel: Nautical theme with zero birds. FAILURE TO SUBMIT
Canadian Surf Club: Must contain one line that is also a palindrome
V for Vegas: Must begin and end with the same word
toanoradian: Free verse in very short lines divided into syntactical units stanzas of 4 to 8 lines each.
Sitting Here: Include a geologist. (kill him with a rock)
Fanky Malloons: Cannot use the word 'death.'
supermikhail: Must use non-Western funerary rite. (dude you should totally do sky burials)
STONE OF MADNESS: Must feature this picture. http://i.imgur.com/x1LVi.jpg (click through for the link because i'm not breaking my formatting.)
Blackfrost: An acrostic spelling out Only Death Is Real
Symptomless Coma: M-M-MEGA HAIKU
Etherwind: Proper Epic Poetry
Zack_Gochuck: Must have a rhyming scheme, can't use the same rhyme twice.
areyoucontagious: real deal fuckin' ballad
monkeyboydc: Iambic pentameter
Meis: upbeat and optimistic Concrete poetry. FAILURE TO SUBMIT
Your Sledgehammer: written from the perspective of a dying man.
Prolonged Priaprism: Satirical poem
twinkle cave: have at least 5% of their final wordcount (do the math yourself, gumling) comprised of neologisms, or newly coined words. Think Jabberwocky and nonsense verse.

Benagain fucked around with this message at Jan 24, 2013 around 03:48

Benagain
Oct 10, 2007


Noah I will take you on in the noble art of the Thunderbrawl. I'm still pissed about that last loss.

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

... all the pronouns


In like a motherfucker.


FLASH RULE: Poem must be a sestina. Suck it, person below me.

edit: this frees it from the 350 word minimum.

Noah
May 31, 2011

Come at me baby bitch


Are you allowed to Brawl me since you're a judge this week? Or did I read the OP wrong. Anyway:

Signing in, and waiting for Sebmojo flash rule.

Edit: Welp, Sestina it is.

Flash Rule:

Iambic Pentameter.

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO


In to death.

Edit: Limerick

HiddenGecko
Apr 15, 2007

You think I'm really going
to read this shit?


I'm in

Flash Rule Every third line must contain enjambment

Benagain
Oct 10, 2007


The way I read the Brawlin rules was that I can't judge it, obvs, but otherwise no restrictions. Not like judging duties take a lot of time during the week itself.

budgieinspector
Mar 24, 2006

According to my research, these would appear to be Budgerigars.


In.

Flash rule: Must contain the words "mouth-friend" and "frigorific".

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

... all the pronouns


Benny, do I get a flash rule?

Benagain
Oct 10, 2007


Had you READ my POORLY FORMATTED POST you would have seen that sebmojo will determine your flash rule, when he gets his rear end in here.

swaziloo
Aug 29, 2012


In.

Flash Rule: A nautical theme with zero birds.

Iroel
Jun 28, 2012


In

Flash rule: must contain one line that is a palindrome

Canadian Surf Club
Feb 15, 2008

Word.


Inn

Flash rule: Has to begin and end with the same word

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

Is it possible to achieve happiness without sacrifice? Tell me the answer to that question one day...


HiddenGecko posted:

Bad Seafood: I once wrote a found poem for one of my creative writing classes. When I got it back I saw that my professor had suggested edits. When I asked him whether it was OK to edit a poem Iíd crafted out of clever Facebook statuses he said it was. Do you know why you should always edit? Because the stream of gobbley gook pouring out of our minds is not fit for paper. And a good stream of consciousness piece should read more like a prose poem after all is said and done than a waterfall of words.
That's it, I'm gunning for you Joyce.

Before this thread ends I swear to submit a stream of consciousness piece that is not in any way terrible.

Bad Seafood fucked around with this message at Jan 10, 2013 around 01:23

Martello
Apr 29, 2012



HiddenGecko posted:

bunch of horseshit I didn't read

No crit for me, huh? Typical.

Also, not in. I'm leaving for the beautiful Ft Polk, Louisiana at 0830 tomorrow, so using Army "backwards planning" that means I need to show up to draw my rifle at 2100 tonight, then drop my bags off to be loaded at 0200. Then we get 6 hours to wait around to board the plane. This is to ensure nobody is late.

Noah
May 31, 2011

Come at me baby bitch


Benagain posted:

The way I read the Brawlin rules was that I can't judge it, obvs, but otherwise no restrictions. Not like judging duties take a lot of time during the week itself.

Okay, 3 rounds, you pick the judge.

V for Vegas
Aug 31, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER

In

Flash Rule: Free verse in very short lines divided into syntactical units stanzas of 4 to 8 lines each.

V for Vegas fucked around with this message at Jan 10, 2013 around 01:52

toanoradian
May 30, 2011

The happiest waffligator


Yo, Benagain, can you put a list of Judges in your challenge post? Just for future reference. Also are we still doing paired crits?


HiddenGecko posted:

I want you to write better and keep getting better.

Stone of Madness: Letís start with the obvious, youíre plover gambit failed, by the third paragraph nothing is happening plot-wise to hook your reader into the story.

please write better tia

quote:

Toanoradian:It was like a an onion article satirizing a Chic Tract. I LOVE YOU.

I'll start with laughably bad erotica this year. By the end I shall make decent ones. I swear by the name of my grandparents. Also while I'm doing ridiculous promises I will also be on that Boss Judges list by next thread. I'll show you all

Also I'm just going to assume that there's a hidden mission where I must, after the week's competition is over, fix and then send my story to a journal. I need to rack up those rejection letters.

I UNDERSTAND YOUR FLASH RULE PERFECTLY V FOR VEGAS

Flash rule: make it decent include geologists. Any one you like.

toanoradian fucked around with this message at Jan 10, 2013 around 02:07

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010

Legit Cyberpunk


le reve du moyen francais est de posseder un petit maison, peut etre avec un jardin

sebmojo fucked around with this message at Sep 13, 2013 around 08:03

Benagain
Oct 10, 2007


toanoradian posted:

Yo, Benagain, can you put a list of Judges in your challenge post? Just for future reference. Also are we still doing paired crits?

Done. Also paired crits, I'm assuming yes and I'll work out the list once submissions are closed.

Noah posted:

Okay, 3 rounds, you pick the judge.

HiddenGecko, you're my kind of harsh rear end in a top hat. Wanna watch as we flail at each other ineffectively and rate the offensiveness?

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

... all the pronouns


sebmojo posted:

Also: only internal rhymes.

Just being clear here

I went up on the roof and smoked a doob-
it's true, it makes your vision blur.

is fine but

I love you truly
be mine, Julie

is not, right?

toanoradian
May 30, 2011

The happiest waffligator



Thanks. Also, for those among us too tired to google and yet not live where EST is, can you post a website that tells the current EST? Like this?

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007

Blood Queen of Thunderdome


I'm in. Scrolling up I see that gives me Toanoradian's rule.

Flash rule: cannot include the word 'death'

Fanky Malloons
Aug 21, 2010

Is your social worker inside that horse?


I'm in.

Flash rule is: must feature a non-Western funerary ritual.

Edit: for the sake of clarification, let's say that 'non-Western' means any region not coloured dark blue on this map

Fanky Malloons fucked around with this message at Jan 10, 2013 around 03:58

Iroel
Jun 28, 2012


HiddenGecko posted:



Iroel: Itís time to learn the most FUNDAMENTAL lesson in writing. Here it is. Format is everything. There. You heard me. You gave me a numbered list. It was like reading a powerpoint. I really didnít understand what was going on or why it was going on. The reason we here at thunderdome are so strict about format is that in the real world so are all the professionals. You submit a story in the wrong format and it goes in the trash, theyíre the easiest ones to reject too because the person writing them obviously had no idea how to write if they canít even format their paragraphs like everyone else. In the future, stick to prose or poetry. As much as you want to experiment with zany zany gimmick #47 try not to. Itís a crutch.


There is no need to teach me the abťcťdaire. I find it unjust to be reprimanded for carrying out the judges' appointed duty of getting out of my comfort zone.

For this reason I throw down the glove and I challenge you to a Thunderbrawl.

One round. Life or death.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012



For judges, now and future: neonnoodle is the new CC mod. Make sure he gets a PM on who needs a losertar every week.

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

... all the pronouns


gently caress yes. Call me a canary 'cos thread #1 is in the GOLDMINE.

Noah
May 31, 2011

Come at me baby bitch


SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

gently caress yes. Call me a canary 'cos thread #1 is in the GOLDMINE.

A little concerned about not being able to edit my posts in the thread anymore. I feel wanting to send stories out, you would want to remove it from here avoid any publishing rights drama.

Fanky Malloons
Aug 21, 2010

Is your social worker inside that horse?


Noah posted:

A little concerned about not being able to edit my posts in the thread anymore. I feel wanting to send stories out, you would want to remove it from here avoid any publishing rights drama.

That's true to some extent, but the only one of mine from the old thread I might seriously think about trying to publish is the last one I posted, and really, if I'm a true Thunderdomer, I should just say "gently caress it" and write something else that's better

Martello
Apr 29, 2012



Noah posted:

A little concerned about not being able to edit my posts in the thread anymore. I feel wanting to send stories out, you would want to remove it from here avoid any publishing rights drama.

Just find the post, copy the link, paste it into a PM to neonnoodles, and I believe he can edit it out. Not sure if it works differently with Goldmined threads, though.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012



So since I know all 'domers are interested in my life, this is where I'm at right now in the "flying to Fort Polk LA" process. We got to the company to draw weapons from the arms room at 2100. This was decided by the NCOs, even though we didn't need to go down to the motorpool (big parking lot for military trucks) until 0100. Now, I knew it wouldn't take four hours to draw weapons, but the NCOs got very excitable when I gently suggested it even though I can obviously say "we're drawing weapons at 2300, end of story, loving move out." I like to give them leeway with things like that because equipment moving around is an NCO thing. And now, since the guys are all sitting around bullshitting and I'm in my office typing on the something awful dot com internet humor forums, I can throw this in their faces next time they feel like drawing weapons 36 hours prior to a flight or whatever.

Beyond my control, we're still showing up at the airfield at 0130 when we don't fly til 0830. I don't know what the gently caress either. Good thing I'm well trained in sleeping with my head on my assault pack.

supermikhail
Nov 17, 2012



Who are we killing today?


Fanky Malloons posted:

I'm in.

Flash rule is: must feature a non-Western funerary ritual.

Edit: for the sake of clarification, let's say that 'non-Western' means any region not coloured dark blue on this map

I guess this means the only funerary ritual ritual I've ever been present at (at least as far as I can recall). This is gonna be a slog. iiiin...

For a flash rule (if it goes to anyone), I'd like to see a poem featuring my vision of the late Thunderdome MMXII.

STONE OF MADNESS
Dec 28, 2012

PVTREFACTIO


Sure, I'll tackle the Thunderdome chimaera.

Flash rule: your poem must be an acrostic poem, spelling out ONLY DEATH IS REAL

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BlackFrost
Feb 6, 2008

Have you figured it out yet?


Sure, I'll bite. I haven't written poetry since High School (more of a prose guy), but this is the Thunderdome, and I expect to be hurting by the time it ends.

Flash rule: Must be a haiku (can be longer than three lines, to meet the criteria of the thread. So just go 5-7-5 over and over). If someone deems this rule as "Terrible Garbage" then too bad, this is the loving THUNDERDOME bitches.

BlackFrost fucked around with this message at Jan 10, 2013 around 06:04

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