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Howdy gang, I'm a Psychology student living in Australia presently. Around 4AM I bought 10 acres of land on Terlingua Ranch, Brewster County. Now, the website seemed pretty shady, and I may just be down some money which I can always reclaim (it was also dirt cheap), but on the chance that it works out, I need ideas for houses, structures, features, anything you can throw at me that is buildable. Assuming all goes well and it's legitimate I'll start posting updates in this thread, and whenever I'm there for an extended period of time (I'm gonna go for dual citizenship) I'll start building your ideas with my friends, and goonmeets could be hosted, or chills had. Also, I've never been to the US, I've never seen snow, or ridden a horse. How does the US work in regards to owning land before being a citizen, anyway? I think I can visit for 90 days or something without a visa. How do I go about applying for US dual-citizenship? Anyway, give me your zaniest ideas/advice/questions/mockery-of-gullibilities!
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:26 |
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| # ? May 20, 2013 02:40 |
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Remember that safe thread where the guy faked getting the deed to Dracula's castle? You should build Dracula's castle.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:29 |
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Declare the zone gun free and watch the locals go ape poo poo.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:31 |
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Build a fortress out of Lego.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:31 |
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Build a hate shrine to cowboy hats and country music.
NoEyedSquareGuy fucked around with this message at Jan 11, 2013 around 11:59 |
| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:31 |
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Could you elaborate on what you call "dirt cheap?"
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:32 |
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Vagon posted:Could you elaborate on what you call "dirt cheap?" $2500 for 10 acres! Like, it's almost too-good-to-be-true but I feel pretty protected in terms of getting the money back, and if it's not a scam, it's incredible. Loving the ideas, people, especially the Lego fort and the hate-shrine. Gun-free zone would be hilarious beyond words, I wonder how long we'd last. Dracula's Castle could happen, we must first mine lots and lots of stone
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:36 |
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Create a reverse "bart simpson" incident by creating an australian embassy in texas and then mooning Rick Perry. I know he's a popular man but he's got it coming in my opinion, as does the USA in general if you want to know the truth. . .
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:38 |
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What on earth possessed you to buy land in another country from a website you yourself call 'shady'?
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:41 |
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Tarranon posted:Create a reverse "bart simpson" incident by creating an australian embassy in texas and then mooning Rick Perry. I like this, I would combine it with "Uncle Dave's All Aussie Outback Emporium and Eatery" bunnybean posted:What on earth possessed you to buy land in another country from a website you yourself call 'shady'? A combination of sleep deprivation and intoxication, I'm on uni holidays  Waking up in the morning, and seeing that I had spent two and a half grand on land on the other side of the world was a feel and a half.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:41 |
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Howdy, friend. Congratulations on your purchase! Say, does that land of yours have any water, like a stream or a river? If so, you'll need a bridge. Now it's your lucky day, friend! It just so happens that I've got some fine bridges in stock, at knock-down prices. I'd be happy to do a special deal for a fellow goon. Here are some links of the products on offer: http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runni...yn-bridgevv.jpg http://www.london-attractions.info/...ower-bridge.jpg http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...bbly_bridge.jpg http://www.destination360.com/north...gate-bridge.jpg
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:42 |
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If I owned Hell and Texas, I'd rent out Texas and live in Hell.quote:Also, I've never been to the US, I've never seen snow, or ridden a horse. quote:How does the US work in regards to owning land before being a citizen, anyway? I think I can visit for 90 days or something without a visa. How do I go about applying for US dual-citizenship? Since you're Australian, a good comparison would be that 10 acres of land in Brewster County Texas is about as attractive as 10 acres in the middle of the outback desert. e: therattle posted:Howdy, friend. Congratulations on your purchase! Say, does that land of yours have any water, like a stream or a river? Klyith fucked around with this message at Jan 11, 2013 around 09:45 |
| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:42 |
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Import the most dangerous animals you can from Australia and open up a petting zoo.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:42 |
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Import the most dangerous animals you can from Australia and set them free.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:44 |
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SCROTEBUSTIN posted:Waking up in the morning, and seeing that I had spent two and a half grand on land on the other side of the world was a feel and a half.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:44 |
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Iniluki posted:Import the most dangerous animals you can from Australia and open up a petting zoo. Blast of Confetti posted:Import the most dangerous animals you can from Australia and set them free. This was actually what my housemate and I were thinking. That and the cuter ones, like the bilby or the platypus. Cute ones in a zoo, release the others into the wild, spice things up!We joked about serving things like that, and being way more Australian in accent and mannerism than we normally are. "Now, see mate, back in Oz we call this an echidna, but it's a bit like a porko-pine-a! The trick with these ones is, you can skewer and roast 'em on their own bloody spines! How ripper is that?" bunnybean posted:Is getting drunk and entering the real estate game a typical activity for you? You ever hear the joke about somebody having some land in Florida to sell ya? Negatory, I'm pretty careful with my money, my ridiculous drunk impulse purchases are usually limited to $30 or less. I haven't actually, but I assume it's like the Brooklyn bridge one. What is it about Florida? SCROTEBUSTIN fucked around with this message at Jan 11, 2013 around 09:48 |
| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:45 |
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SCROTEBUSTIN posted:$2500 for 10 acres! Like, it's almost too-good-to-be-true but I feel pretty protected in terms of getting the money back, and if it's not a scam, it's incredible. Just get your money back, you loving moron. Buyer's remorse laws should be in effect for a few days.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:52 |
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SCROTEBUSTIN posted:
quote:What is it about Florida? (e: To make it clear, you've done the same thing because your land is arid desert in a part of Texas that has basically zero population and like 5 paved roads. Look at google maps you dolt.) Klyith fucked around with this message at Jan 11, 2013 around 09:56 |
| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:53 |
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A house which looks like goatse when viewed from above and a huge statue of dickbutt.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:54 |
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Hello Sailor posted:Just get your money back, you loving moron. Buyer's remorse laws should be in effect for a few days. I dunno, I looked it up and they have a good BBB rating and a decent Facebook following, I'm sure if it's a scam they won't honour buyer's remorse so I may as well see it through to a point. Klyith posted:I'm not sure that drug smugglers and human traffickers have much interest in petting zoos. Ah, that's gold Thanks.lovely Treat posted:A house which looks like goatse when viewed from above and a huge statue of dickbutt. It will be done, do we have any architects on the forums
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 09:56 |
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Build a giant BitCoin mining rig. It will pay you the 2'5 grand back in no time!
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:01 |
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Righteous Oyster posted:Build a giant BitCoin mining rig. It will pay you the 2'5 grand back in no time! I like it, but when every bitcoin has been generated it will be but a husk of machines
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:03 |
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Well let's see what a google image search for Texas, Brewster County, Terlingua Ranch brings up:    Well at least Giant Nipple Hill is a bit of a talking point.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:15 |
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I believe construction is going to be pretty expensive. There's also [edit after pics: DEFINITELY] not a sewer system or anything like that to hook into. Anyway, I think you should tunnel underground and make yourself a bunker beneath the sands. You will be cooler away from the sun, you will store food better. You will also act as a human trapdoor spider, emerging from a carefully camouflaged flap to eviscerate the few hikers, lost illegal immigrants and large animals that come by over the years. Alternately, a trailer riddled with bullet holes flying the confederate flag. I think some counties by law have to have a certain quota of this type of housing.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:15 |
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Build a terrorist training camp
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:16 |
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Communocracy posted:Anyway, I think you should tunnel underground and make yourself a bunker beneath the sands. You will be cooler away from the sun, you will store food better. You will also act as a human trapdoor spider, emerging from a carefully camouflaged flap to eviscerate the few hikers, lost illegal immigrants and large animals that come by over the years. I take back my previous Dracula's Castle suggestion and second this. This is the thing you should do.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:17 |
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:Well let's see what a google image search for Texas, Brewster County, Terlingua Ranch brings up: Roleplay as John Marston and get mauled by a cougar.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:17 |
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OP, from the looks of it there aren't even any roads leading to your new property. You are the proud owner of 10 acres of dirt and a nipple mound in the middle of nowhere. Edit: vvv Look, buddy, we don't need sewers; we just need internet access and something that looks like a boob. bunnybean fucked around with this message at Jan 11, 2013 around 10:21 |
| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:18 |
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Invite all the shitposters from GBS to live on the land away from everyone else.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:19 |
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I think you should split the land between as many goons as possible to purchase for a silly price (like $1 each or something) so you get your money back, and then we make a human goatse for the next time Google maps updates their satellite photos! Or make a giant chalk line memorial to Steve Irwin.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:20 |
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You are dumb. You will have one of the following: 1) A totally unusable, stupidly-shaped, useless bit of land (ie. 4000m x 1m) 2) A piece of land almost completely inaccessible, hundreds of miles from the nearest town with no power or water 3) Land that is surrounded by other privately-owned plots to which you have no access rights 4) All of the above Also you now have to pay property taxes every year in the US. So well done I guess.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:20 |
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Keep brewster county weird, big business aussies go home
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:22 |
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Communocracy posted:I believe construction is going to be pretty expensive. There's also [edit after pics: DEFINITELY] not a sewer system or anything like that to hook into. They don't even have sealed roads or electricity, they just subdivided a chunk of desert and bulldozed some tracks through it: 
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:23 |
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Loonytoad Quack posted:1) A totally unusable, stupidly-shaped, useless bit of land (ie. 4000m x 1m) Edit: 10 acre billboard that says 'booooooooooobs' with enough o's to go all ten acres, or a huge passage of text like the OP from the pissbottling thread. bunnybean fucked around with this message at Jan 11, 2013 around 10:29 |
| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:24 |
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:They don't even have sealed roads or electricity, they just subdivided a chunk of desert and bulldozed some tracks through it: So basically you're saying this is out *th chance to band together as brothers and buy a worthless plot of land to all live together on.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:26 |
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Communocracy posted:I think you should tunnel underground and make yourself a bunker beneath the sands. You will be cooler away from the sun, you will store food better. You will also act as a human trapdoor spider, emerging from a carefully camouflaged flap to eviscerate the few hikers, lost illegal immigrants and large animals that come by over the years. I spat out my weet-bix in laughter, flawless. RE: Electricity, septic, tax, etc., luckily I wasn't entirely insane in my purchase; this particular lot has "Electricity: Available in Ranch Waste: Septic Water: Available in Ranch or Storage or Well" I mean, that seems pretty good, right? Hell, even a generator or solar could work for basic things. I like the idea of selling it off for a ridiculous price, and forming some sort of hilarious goon commune. A giant thin wall would be great too, maybe I could put an Australian flag on it.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:29 |
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At least you don't have any "living-off-the-grid"-plans with your lands like some other goon had, if I recall correctly. Still, there's pretty much nothing you can do with that land except go there and think "this is mine". Building anything would require you to ship all your building materials there, and what are you even going to do with any buildings or whatever? You can't live there, it's too far off to really go there on a regular basis (or for anyone else to go there, for that matter). If you want to go to the US, I think there are better things to do with your time, and as has been said, it won't help you with citizenship anyway. So go get your money back and book a trip or something instead.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:31 |
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Wuntvor posted:At least you don't have any "living-off-the-grid"-plans with your lands like some other goon had, if I recall correctly. Still, there's pretty much nothing you can do with that land except go there and think "this is mine". Building anything would require you to ship all your building materials there, and what are you even going to do with any buildings or whatever? You can't live there, it's too far off to really go there on a regular basis (or for anyone else to go there, for that matter). If you want to go to the US, I think there are better things to do with your time, and as has been said, it won't help you with citizenship anyway. So go get your money back and book a trip or something instead. I love Gardner! What do you guys think is particularly wrong with it, live-ability wise? It's 60 miles south of Alpine, which is (I think) the major city of Brewster County in terms of distance to supplies. I mean, I'm fairly certain there's a proper ranch station with amenities etc within the immediate area, and I don't see what would be wrong with, say, having some chickens, a vegetable garden (this could be where I'm messing up. Is it literally desert? It looks more like most of Australia here, pretty workable, but I don't know much about Texan soil) and driving into town once a week or so to get food, supplies, etc. I mean, surely in terms of logs et. al I could hire a truck for a day and make a couple of runs.
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:36 |
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Build a sprawling city to attack with robots
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:38 |
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| # ? May 20, 2013 02:40 |
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Just for frame of reference I plonked a 10 acre lot in the middle of the map. The existing ranch (which is where the water & electricity is) is way off on the right: Looks like there's at least a couple hundred 10 acre lots in that grid, you'll have lots and lots of crazy paranoid off-the-grid neighbours!
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| # ? Jan 11, 2013 10:41 |
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