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People still aren't getting it: This thread is for inappropriate, offensive, and mean-spirited jokes you've heard. You If you laugh at jokes posted here, you're probably a terrible person. If you've come up with jokes posted here, you're definitely a terrible person. What is the first thing a woman does after leaving a battered women's shelter? The dishes if she knows what's good for her. J Corp fucked around with this message at Jan 12, 2013 around 19:47 |
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| # ? May 22, 2013 11:12 |
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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it into the oven.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:22 |
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This thread. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:23 |
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nature6pk posted:This thread. Your posting.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:25 |
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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:27 |
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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:28 |
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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An erection!
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:28 |
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duddits posted:What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? How do you get a baby out of a blender? Doritos.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:29 |
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No.
Crawley Heat fucked around with this message at Jan 12, 2013 around 06:19 |
| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:29 |
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The worst part about being gay is having to tell your parents you rollerblade
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:30 |
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surprise sex.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:31 |
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What's the difference between Jesus and a prostitute? The looks on their faces when they get nailed.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:32 |
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I was in this nice restaurant with my girlfriend, having such a wonderful meal when she noticed that all the servers had a spoon in their shirt pocket and made mention of it to me. Not one to leave such things to lie, when ours came back I asked him about it and he said "you see, there was a study done that shows most the most commonly dropped eating utensil is the spoon, so we all carry a spoon in our pocket so we can save a trip to the kitchen for a replacement" That sounded perfectly reasonable to me and my girlfriend so we continued dinner for a bit and she made mention that there was a small string hanging out of our servers zipper, and then looked around and noticed all the male staff had a string hanging out. Once again, unable to leave things lie I had to ask "whats with the string?" and he replied "well you see there was a study done, and it was discovered that men spend longer washing their hands than actually using the bathroom, so management came up with a plan to try to safely eliminate the need to wash ones hands as we never make contact with anything but our zipper and the string." Once again, sounded logical, even though it's a little odd, but as a man I then had to say "ok, that covers getting it out, and some aiming, but how do you put it away?" He responded "I don't know how the other waiters do it, but I just use my spoon"
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:33 |
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Why is Jesus so popular with women? *spread your arms out* Because he was hung like this.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:34 |
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So I was eating out this girl the other day, when I suddenly tasted horse semen. All I could think to myself was "Oh grandma, so that’s how you died".
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:37 |
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So three couples are on a vacation together on a cruise. Two straight couples and one gay couple. They are all on board the ship when it sinks in the ocean and everyone drowns. In the line at the pearly gates the 3 couples are lined up to see St. Peter. The first straight couple moves up to St. Peter and he addresses them. "Sir, you have given your life to alcohol!", he says to the man. "You delved so deep into your obsession with drink that you married a woman named Brandy. For this you shall not pass into the gates of heaven." Poof! They are sent to hell. The next couple walks up and again St. Peter confronts the man. "You sir have given your life to money. You delved so deep into your obsession that you married a woman named Penny. For this you shall not pass into the gates of heaven." Poof! again. One man in the gay couple turns to the other and says: "This doesn't look good, Richard."
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:37 |
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This is one of my go to 'terrible offensive jokes.' How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:38 |
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I like my women like I like my coffee, ____________ .
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:40 |
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Dollas posted:I like my women like I like my coffee, ____________ . The best version of this i ever heard was from Eddie Izzard. He was on stage stirring coffee in a cup. "I like my women like i like my coffee. Hot. Black. And with a spoon in them." Edit: and for something offensive... Whats worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 5 trees.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:42 |
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How do you make a little boy cry twice? Wipe your bloody dick on his teddybear
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:47 |
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What do you do after you surprise sex a 10 year old deaf, dumb, and blind girl? Break her hands so she can't tell anyone.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:49 |
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Dollas posted:I like my women like I like my coffee, ____________ . Ground up in the freezer. I think there was a GBS thread just to that one joke a long time ago and that's the only thing that I took away from it.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:50 |
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What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for christmas? cancer.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:51 |
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I got my leg blown off by a Chinaman in Korea.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:55 |
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Dollas posted:I like my women like I like my coffee, ____________ . Ground up and stored in cans?
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:56 |
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The safest awful joke: "How does every racist joke start?" (joke teller scans room conspicuously then leans closer to the audience)
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:57 |
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A horse walks into a bar, the barman asks "why the long face?" The horse replies: "I've got aids".
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:57 |
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Why do you wrap duct tape around a hampster? So it doesn't explode when you gently caress it.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:57 |
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What does my girlfriend say when I hit her? Nothing. What do you do when a woman gets hit by a car? Wonder how the car got into the kitchen
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:58 |
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What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick in your rear end.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 04:59 |
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You know I was just thinking how much I missed middle school.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 05:00 |
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What's great about abortion? It brings out the kid in you.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 05:01 |
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What happens when two gays get married? They receive full benefits from the state and live happily ever after.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 05:02 |
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Murder . . . ah ha ha, Death !! AND an rear end !!
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 05:03 |
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So, um, is this where I post fairly racist and derogatory jokes? I've got a few.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 05:04 |
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Crawley Heat posted:Q: Knock Knock Why the gently caress did I laugh?
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 05:04 |
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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 05:07 |
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*smirks ironically* Hey. Yeah, WHY am I a retarded person? Haha the main reason is because I'm gay. Baaaaa ha ha ha ha ha
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 05:08 |
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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? She was trying to read the waffle iron.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 05:10 |
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| # ? May 22, 2013 11:12 |
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Ruddha posted:*smirks ironically* Hey. Yeah, WHY am I a retarded person? Haha the main reason is because I'm gay. Baaaaa ha ha ha ha ha That joke sucks.
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| # ? Jan 12, 2013 05:12 |
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