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Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Did We Hate Movies ever put up a non-hosed version of the podcast they did on The Rapture? I understand they wanted to be sensitive but I'd rather they just didn't release an episode that week.

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Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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I want them to do Pearl Harbor because none of the bad movie podcasts have tackled it, the movie that made America turn on Ben Affleck for a while, and also because I want them to suffer like I did.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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bobkatt013 posted:

Cat People is pretty great. It is hilariou sand they are back to really hating a movie.

Yeah, the fact that they actually liked Best of the Best 2 made it a not very interesting listen and it took me several attempts to get through it.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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We Hate Movies are supposed to hate the movies they cover, it's right there in the name.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Dr. Lariat posted:

Edit: Is "people aren't enjoying these terrible movies on a show made to make fun of terrible movies" seriously a complaint I just read?

People follow the New Sincerity around here. Nothing is bad, you just aren't being ironically unironic about it enough.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Just watch the trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uROQ9nplxIY

Jesus loving Christ.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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OldTennisCourt posted:

To be fair, the film was meant to be released in 2003.

Oh, so like the year finding nemo came out.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Dear God, why can't I stop myself.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Oh my God, Sex and Two Cities.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Hey HDTGM, I like Hudson Hawk.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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I want them to do the movie that made America fall out of love with Josh Hartnett: Pearl Harbor.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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What the hell is fart rock?

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Kim Cardassian.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Mob posted:

It seemed like Paul was playing down his MK knowledge. The man had an Over The Top playset, I know he's got to know Sub-Zero's drat name.

Because if the words Noob Saibot ever passed his lips he would immediately be served with divorce papers.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Tatum Girlparts posted:

Seriously have you seen him and June? Bro's gotta play the Mortal Kombat knowledge close to the chest.

Would you describe Paul as a gnome or is he more of a homunculus?

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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I haven't found all of them to be unlistenable but this one was loving awful. Surely they're doing a live show into microphones, someone couldn't record off of the mixing board?

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Yeah, if you've seen any of her roles in stuff like Party Down or Burning Love, that's kind of her schtick. She's actually my favorite part of HDTGM.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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I'm not sure that film posters get worse than this. Explaining the not joke, namechecking two completely unrelated films (and implying that your main characters are whores). Racist as gently caress. Not even identifying one of the actresses on the poster. It's got everything.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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I swear to God from the way it's described thought this movie was supposed to be an Edward Albee drama or at least a horrific thriller and not a comedy right until the very end.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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They're really flipping a coin on that baby's looks.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Bloody Hedgehog posted:

June finally got her contact lense prescription filled, and got a good, long, hard look at Paul for the first time in focus.

I hear that even though she didn't have any divorce papers or anything she just walked up to a judge and held up this photograph.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Random Stranger posted:

I think the No Holds Barred episode of How Did This Get Made might be the longest and most chaotic one yet. Not the greatest guest, sadly...

I think you're wrong as hell he's great AND it was one of the greatest they've done.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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sweetroy posted:

Yeah, when I first saw the title I wasn't sure that it would fly but holy poo poo, that movie does not stand up when you put it under a spotlight.

I hope they get to Patch Adams, another movie I think is terrible for many of the same reasons.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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"I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."

rip

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Infamous Sphere posted:

Let me just say I am so glad that you reviewed this - and you did a much better job than I did when I reviewed it. For one thing, you pick up on all these plot holes that I forgot about, like....why the hell he moves to Chicago, and what's with the drugs he takes, and...what even. I'd say there's no words for The Watcher, but I have said so many words about The Watcher since I watched it first, so I guess there...are a lot of words for it. So many, probably because it's just so bizarre and unfathomable and crazy. One of the first episodes of my internet review show was a review of The Watcher, but sadly my on-camera skill wasn't particularly good, so it's probably best left un-linked. In that review I evaluated The Watcher almost more as a bizarro gay movie than as a serial killer movie, so you've brought up a lot of points that I didn't think that much about.

I never even knew who did the cinematography! I guess it just goes to show how much a terrible director can gently caress up the whole film.
This was actually the first film I ever saw James Spader in. I didn't even know who he was before this, and so for quite a while I thought of Spader as "that lame guy from The Watcher," which I'm sure you'd agree is very, very sad.

I originally described Keanu's accent/delivery as "the voice of a lobotomised gay robot." I referred to the "killer vision" as "Keanuvision", and decided that he had cheap camcorders for eyes. When you talked about the phone call, I thought you were about to say "every time Keanu and James Spader have a conversation, they have terrible phone sex." It really wouldn't be that much of a stretch, given how terrible The Watcher is. Man, what a sick bromance it was.

I didn't pick up on the Chicago connection, I'd laugh if, say, SNAP! was still there (if it ever existed.)
There's just stuff about the movie that I loving love, like the get well card that says "Sorry for your loss. BECAUSE WE'RE FRIENDS" - as if you wouldn't send someone a sympathy card to express sympathy if they weren't your friend, and you're only sorry if they're your friend. There's so much wrong with the movie it's just the perfect bad movie for me, in every way, and I'd love to do your drinking game if I get the chance (too bad very few of my friends think The Watcher is as hilarious and amazing as I do.)

I personally think that The Watcher WOULD have been a generic crime thriller..if they hadn't cast Keanu Reeves, and if Joel Charbanic wasn't so incompetent. It's the inclusion of Keanu that really lifts this movie from genericness, to Lobotomised Gay Robot Keanu madness. While it looks like a legit movie, and technically is a legit movie, it does just about everything wrong, so I think you can class it in the same category as something like The Room. I mean things like the toilet...most people would have just used a brick for that scene! It's almost like Charbanic TRIED to be as bizarre and bad as he could.

I must admit that I'm very surprised that you didn't have "What I need, Joel...is YOU" as your finish your drink line. That's the wham line of the whole movie! Keanu had a gay crush on Joel THE WHOLE TIME (not that it wasn't obvious.)

Your theory about the snippets of movies stuck together made a lot of sense. My personal theory is that the whole of The Watcher is just a dream that James Spader had about his boyfriend, Keanu, and there's a scene at the end where he wakes up and he's like "God, I had this terrible dream, where you were this weird serial killer and you just kept..chasing me, and dancing, and...." - because it's sort of disjointed and crap, like a dream you'd have about someone you knew, and it's stupid and nonsensical - like a dream you'd have about someone you know, and wake up and go "what the gently caress was that?" (And then you'd probably resolve never to tell the person that you'd dreamt about them.) My other theory is that the movie is very similar to The Dark Knight, with Keanu being the Joker, and Joel being Batman, and Marisa Tomei being Rachel Dawes (there's even the warehouse and the flaming crap!)

God, I didn't even remember that Keanu got shot in the shoulder. It's pretty astounding that this movie was done after Keanu's Matrix success. A movie about John Serial probably would have been better.

Oh god, Chain Reaction was hilarious. Morgan Freeman with his glowing blue science! The fact that Keanu Reeves and Rachel Weisz looked the same, and had the exact same haircut! Amazing! But I still like The Watcher better.

tl:dr; I am dangerously amused by The Watcher.

same

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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It happens. I mean one of the main guys from MST3K made Meet Dave for God's sake.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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They're not so much doing an impression of Jesse Ventura as an impression of James Adomian's impression of Jesse Ventura. They might have even said as much.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Drunkboxer posted:

Their impressions are just impressions of Norm MacDonald's Burt Reynolds impression. I'm not sure why Norm chose to do it that way in the first place, but it's a classic snl sketch now so it's cemented in peoples heads I guess.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/12203

whenever whm does an impression it's always an impression of an impression whether it's james adomian's jesse ventura or norm's burt reynolds or pretty much every comedian's wilford brimley


yet somehow i love them for it

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Evil Mastermind posted:

I'm amazed it took them 15 minutes before they made the first Dropkick Murphys reference.

Let's not forget about this, though:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JybA_nSPnG0

I heard the episode but what the living gently caress

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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You guys are bein pretty fuckin weird about it

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Gyges posted:

There's always the medicinal treatment of the infant's gums as suggested by the pediatric clinic of Drs. Walker, Daniels and Beam. Like Great-Great-Grandma used to do.

That's child abuse. No baby should be forced to drink that swill.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Drunkboxer posted:

What's the deal with the lovely audio in this weeks flophouse?

Ok good someone else heard it.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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The Apple is insane and campy and wonderful I'd rather see them take on something truly awful like Grease 2.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Honestly, it's hard to pick a bad musical because so many things that would make a regular movie bad make a musical great.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Mantic posted:

Speaking of the Flophouse it appears that they have joined the Maximum Fun network.


Can't wait for the Extreme Restraints spots.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Tatum Girlparts posted:

Man Jessie Thorn is a funny guy

Source your quotes. Anyway, it was easy enough to just skip ahead to the actual episode, just listen for the intro music.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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radlum posted:

I still don't understand how that marriage works.

She's stuck with him until she tricks him to say his name backwards.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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davidHalestorm posted:

Matt Gourley. I swear, half the podcast I subscribed to is edited by that guy.

Being a professor of theatre must be a pretty easy gig because that guy shows up everywhere

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Flophouse 4th Wheelers Al Magical and Hallie Haglund are on the daily show podcast this week in a turn that makes me realize that Hallie has been drunk every time she's been on the Flophouse

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Al!
Apr 2, 2010

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Calaveron posted:

"capoeida", yeah, I don't think that's how it's pronounced in Portuguese either.



Side note: Steve going "ewwww" will never not be funny.

My wife was raised in new york and she said "skith" once and I yelled at her. The fact that Steve says skith and nobody yells at him makes me think it might be a New York thing.

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